But what if the things that i can do are not existent? And even if there is, it is pointless and doesnt add up to something. I'm struggling to understand
But without taking any risks. You 'feel' good about playing video games but there's no stories to tell unless you talking to another gamer. Same goes for sport nerds. You may separate time for these type of things but problem is if it becomes a habit, it's more likely to become your identity as well and i believe it's a waste of life.
This is so true - every time I am trying to find anything - I only get frustrated and when I stop looking for and start focusing on something else - I find the object I was looking for to begin with.
The thing is that I have a list of stuff to do and some stuff gives me palpitations for no good reason, and they are usually the top priority. So I will do other stuff on the list, to feel good for doing something, stuff that in other circumstances would be the stuff I avoid (deep cleaning, laundry, exercise) and shit, I will clean the floor 10 times and clean all my plants leaf by leaf, just because I am terrified of something so trivial as taking care of paperwork 😐
that's way better than how it usually goes for me: i tend to get so intimidated by the thing on the top of the list that don't do anything on the list at all but instead end up procastinating on social media or similar just to escape that sensation
Something that’s helped me is writing out all the things that are making me feel overwhelmed list-style, so seeing it physically makes it easier to process. Then write the first step or things i need to do to solve each. So instead of large problems like school or college or relationship stuff it gets widdled down to “turn in this one paper” “Spend a little more time here” etc. Makes everything WAAYY easier to handle and more approachable
I personally don't believe that there's a right or wrong decision, you just pick a decision that's comfortable for you at the moment. And if it turns out to be the wrong decision, then focus on what you can do to make the best out of it. You can't control what'll happen, but you can control on how you'll react to it. This kind of mindset will help people to have more resilience.
(If you want a stranger’s opinion) Do what you can but if you’re stuck and struggling try the video’s advice. The video this comes from is only 9 mins it’s really good.
You restructure the problems. Make sure those problems aren't tied with smaller components that are out of your control. A good therapist helps with this. My therapist has been helping me greatly. She doesn't necessarily explain it to me unless I ask, but she guides me and asks to make sure I understood what just happened. I have been diagnosed with ADHD. I've learned that I tend to be focused on and take responsibility for aspects of my problems that are things that are not in my control.
Be careful identifying which problems are within your control. Passive challenge: Being hired for a job Active challenge: Finding a job Which of these are within your control? I hope this helps ^_^
I have trouble accurate visualizing the future, this can make easy tasks seem impossible. I don’t know what is going to happen and I don’t assume I can do it, whatever it is. So my best solution so far is to close your eyes, and imagine a time I was doing that task in the past, or a similar task. Writing an essay, cleaning, cooking, etc. Because I have done those before successfully. So then I feel able to do it.
Dude, I’ve been actively doing this approach and it drives my mom bonkers since she’s experiencing it as “chaos” whereas I’m seeing it as do what I can when I can! ❤🎉❤
I guess for myself. I recently moved out after my ex and I broke up. I have hardly anything to my name, so filling up my mind with things to furnish my new place with, and starting a gym routine, had filled my mind rather than worry about what I once had with her. It’s helped a lot lately in the grand scheme of things in which I can’t control or worry about needlessly
Time to paradoxically take on the active challenge of dating my hot coworker just to stop feeling overwhelmed by the passive challenge of my marriage. The cognitive shift is coming. Can totally feel it.
So in other words, it’s serenity to accept the problems you can’t control, combined with the courage to solve the things in your control, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Wow. I've never thought of it this way. This seems to make very logical sense. I am going to try this. I feel like I'm drowning in passive challenges currently.🙏
Reminds me of the Serenity Prayer: the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, the courage to change what can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I'm not religious, but I always liked that one.
i just talk to myself when i feel the circumstances in my physical environment are out of control. mostly the problems come from interpersonal relationships, my parents mostly and my siblings. i always dedicate time to sort of process these events by lying down and talk to myself. its a therapy because i always get comforted within. i let memories resurface bit by bit and i digest. i just watch mostly and let emotions be felt. the solution oriented part of the brain is set aside because i know harping will not fix the issue.
His advice is helpful for most people probably. If active challenges outweigh what is possible to complete in a set amount of time, I feel overwhelmed.
Big problems are most of the times a lot of smaller challenges or tasks. Look what is a little step that you can do. And celebrateing every little step you did. This helped me to get startet.
thats why i cant say i agree with the statement. i find that if i can find something engaging or a problem i can control to tackle on, then i can focus on those without interferences while ignoring the uncontrollable problem
maybe your biggest problems are the 'what ifs'? You can always make up a reason why something wouldn't work. So just start already and everything will seem easier, even if they are not directly correlated.
This is so underrated. For example, if you struggle with body image, instead of being too focused on fixing that, try interacting with people. By having positive interactions it will ease the struggle. In the long run, this will help you to fix the main problem.
Meds helped a lot in getting things done, however I occasionally have times when it seems to intensify my decision paralysis. Generally after finishing an existing task. Without the meds I would just do whatever happened to catch my attention. Sometimes it was something that needed done, sometimes it was something completely random. However 'ON' meds it's like I can't seem to switch focus on the things on the list, even though I probably should. It's like hyper-focus, but without the ability to tune out the random stuff. Lol 😂
@@calebpurvis6195 I feel virtually zero difference in how I approach tasks with/without the meds tbh. They just let me do things I want to do easier, and I can leave a task for later and actually do it later. Without them I'd have days where my ADHD paralysis was so bad that it'd take me hours to crawl down the stairs because I was so mentally exhausted from just waking up and trying to get out of bed. Days like that are now less frequent and way less intense. I read so many scary things about Elvanse(vyvanse in usa) before I started taking it but so far it's honestly just kinda of headaches and more frequent nightmares. Which to me is a completely fair trade off for being able to do the things I want to do.
Sometimes I take a step back, rest, and look at the thing that overwhelms me in a refreshed mind. Trying not to think about said problem while I take a step back is hard. But most of the time, it pays off to just give yourself time to recollect yourself if you can
It's just so counterintuitive to take on active challenges because it can feel like procrastinating or avoiding extremely important passive challenges which might turn into absolute catastrophies. I'm talking life or death scenarios. It's so devastating, I'm losing all strength. And taking on active challenges, oh boy does it sound like a bad idea, even though it might not be.
Circle of concern vs circle of influence in a nutshell. If you have to choose, choose the ones that makes you feel empowered rather than busy your mind with what makes you feel powerless (overwhelmed being part of it)
This is why today I fixed my coffee maker instead of trying to “fix” my teen. If anyone has any resources on helping teens with diabetic burnout, I am all ears. 😭
If I feel overwhelmed (I am many times a day) and time allows it I like to solve a sudoku. It takes up my focus and by the time I'm done I feel accomplished and have calmed down a bit
Problem is this feels more like a short term solution rather than a long term one. Because i dont believe disassociating yourself from the problems that cause the feeling of being overwhelmed is something that is sustainable. Especially if they are caused by you doing nothing
I can only partially agree. Let's take a young entrepreneur who is biting more than they can chew. The solution is not to take more orders or hire a consultant, it's to take less orders and grow the existing customer base. OR, sure, you might start looking into hiring someone but then you have a different problem and not necessarily one you want.
I've been trying to clean my whole room for like 3 years and I finally managed to make 10% of it spottles..I'm doing another 10% tomorrow and hopefully I can do this before I get sidetracked
I have a tangentially related piece of advice. We often say "I don't apply to jobs or start a business or go to community college because that's hard" Meanwhile, we intentionally play video games and complain that some are "too easy". How is it that we crave difficult video games, but whimper at the first sign of challenge in life? It's not because those challenges are hard in life per se , it's really because we are afraid of them. Particularly, we are afraid to find out that our mental faculties are insufficient to flourish in this world.
It's not just about perspective. In instructional design we learned that 80/20 is the most enjoyable level of challenge: 80% existing knowledge meets 20% new knowledge. It's just like how a well designed boss fight will combine most of the techniques you used to fight the mini bosses, but adds a bit more challenge on top. Too easy = feeling you're 100% competent and there's nothing new to explore. Too hard = there is too much new knowledge or skill to master at once, and you're not confident you have the foundation to build upon.
onggg our brains are like computers and computers are like our brains. the little bit of coding helped me organize my decision making and thought process
(Anyone can Answer this. I'll take all CONSTRUCTIVE ADVICE/Tips. What if the thing that is making me feel overwhelmed is my job..and if I am soooo checked out then my proactivity shifts...in turn I can get in trouble. (I can focus on things I like or am interested in...but my job...I STRUGGLE) (I'm on 20MG Prozac and 20mg Adderall for reference. I feel like that personal, yet crucial info is important)
I just get the challenge done in baby steps. My room is way cleaner than it has been in almost a year and all I did was clear some trash across a few days.
So how do you go about this when the problem is connected with what generally is considered a need in life; say the control of owning a home and thus the security of the place you live? Affordability in life really sucks right now and being able to get to the next stage in life seems unattainable, to no fault of those experiencing these problems. How does one continue to function when the solution to those problems are never in our control but we need to satisfy the need to feel fulfilled?
i cant say i agree with outweighing active challenges over passive. i find that if i can find something engaging or a problem i can control to tackle on, then i can focus on those without interferences while ignoring the uncontrollable problem
Ok I literally just cleaned my entire apartment to trick my brain into “accomplishment” mode after being too overwhelmed to work for two days straight and BOOM ended up carrying that feeling into complete king a bunch of overwhelming work task right after. Preach!!!! 💛
My favorite advice on this topic! It's so true & explains why I feel better able to tackle everything else when I've unintentional did this 😁 Also... are you Jonas from Sense8?? 🤯
Full video - th-cam.com/video/7VfSCQnGfk4/w-d-xo.html
Not hyperlinked, could you give the title?
Google the title of the short, this is how you stop feeling overwhelmed
If you feel like there’s nothing you can do, you do what you can.
Man summarised the whole short
my brain train play game everyday. it easy understand what he said than what u coment. i just dont know why eventhough with same meaning
But what if the things that i can do are not existent? And even if there is, it is pointless and doesnt add up to something. I'm struggling to understand
Well put
Boondocks taught me this
is this why video games are so relaxing? Many games are essentially just a series of problems to solve
TH-cam user discovers escapism
Jk bro self awareness W
I’d argue yes but I’m just random TH-cam so take with a grain of salt
But without taking any risks. You 'feel' good about playing video games but there's no stories to tell unless you talking to another gamer. Same goes for sport nerds. You may separate time for these type of things but problem is if it becomes a habit, it's more likely to become your identity as well and i believe it's a waste of life.
@@shacka95self awareness W I love you bro
@@yunusk.8532challenge requires risk; That's why video games are so addicting, the second you stop playing the risk isn't real anymore.
This is why people stress clean. If you ever find yourself cleaning when you stress out this is literally what he’s talking about.
Me: *depressed because unemployed*
Me: time to exercise and fix my health
Yea and you'll still be depressed, because that doesn't fix the root issue
@@vivvpprofNeither will getting a job unless there poor & lacking food & shelter
Ohhhh that's why I clean when I'm stressed about school
Same !!! I didn't even knew I like Vaccuming !! 😮
This is so true - every time I am trying to find anything - I only get frustrated and when I stop looking for and start focusing on something else - I find the object I was looking for to begin with.
Ohhhhh I like this. This makes a lot of sense.
The thing is that I have a list of stuff to do and some stuff gives me palpitations for no good reason, and they are usually the top priority. So I will do other stuff on the list, to feel good for doing something, stuff that in other circumstances would be the stuff I avoid (deep cleaning, laundry, exercise) and shit, I will clean the floor 10 times and clean all my plants leaf by leaf, just because I am terrified of something so trivial as taking care of paperwork 😐
that's way better than how it usually goes for me: i tend to get so intimidated by the thing on the top of the list that don't do anything on the list at all but instead end up procastinating on social media or similar just to escape that sensation
Same sadly, I always keep pushing my top priority ones later and later. And simple priority ones early and early. Very ironic huh
Just side note.. why is paperwork so terrifying😢
All of this 💯
Something that’s helped me is writing out all the things that are making me feel overwhelmed list-style, so seeing it physically makes it easier to process.
Then write the first step or things i need to do to solve each. So instead of large problems like school or college or relationship stuff it gets widdled down to “turn in this one paper” “Spend a little more time here” etc. Makes everything WAAYY easier to handle and more approachable
I feel overwhelmed by a sink full of dishes lol.
i was just thinking this! :D
but what if these problems ARE within your control? and the decisions you make will shape the options available to you.
I personally don't believe that there's a right or wrong decision, you just pick a decision that's comfortable for you at the moment. And if it turns out to be the wrong decision, then focus on what you can do to make the best out of it.
You can't control what'll happen, but you can control on how you'll react to it. This kind of mindset will help people to have more resilience.
(If you want a stranger’s opinion)
Do what you can but if you’re stuck and struggling try the video’s advice. The video this comes from is only 9 mins it’s really good.
You restructure the problems.
Make sure those problems aren't tied with smaller components that are out of your control.
A good therapist helps with this. My therapist has been helping me greatly. She doesn't necessarily explain it to me unless I ask, but she guides me and asks to make sure I understood what just happened. I have been diagnosed with ADHD. I've learned that I tend to be focused on and take responsibility for aspects of my problems that are things that are not in my control.
Be careful identifying which problems are within your control.
Passive challenge:
Being hired for a job
Active challenge:
Finding a job
Which of these are within your control?
I hope this helps ^_^
I have trouble accurate visualizing the future, this can make easy tasks seem impossible. I don’t know what is going to happen and I don’t assume I can do it, whatever it is.
So my best solution so far is to close your eyes, and imagine a time I was doing that task in the past, or a similar task. Writing an essay, cleaning, cooking, etc. Because I have done those before successfully. So then I feel able to do it.
Dude, I’ve been actively doing this approach and it drives my mom bonkers since she’s experiencing it as “chaos” whereas I’m seeing it as do what I can when I can! ❤🎉❤
I guess for myself. I recently moved out after my ex and I broke up. I have hardly anything to my name, so filling up my mind with things to furnish my new place with, and starting a gym routine, had filled my mind rather than worry about what I once had with her. It’s helped a lot lately in the grand scheme of things in which I can’t control or worry about needlessly
Time to paradoxically take on the active challenge of dating my hot coworker just to stop feeling overwhelmed by the passive challenge of my marriage. The cognitive shift is coming. Can totally feel it.
Get this man a shield!
😂 This is a Bucky Barnes reference
💚
💚
💚
So in other words, it’s serenity to accept the problems you can’t control, combined with the courage to solve the things in your control, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Well said, nice summary
Is this is why procrastiworking is a thing?
This is exactly how video games have been therapeutic for me.
I do believe dr k just randomly solved my biggest issue, lol.
Wow. I've never thought of it this way. This seems to make very logical sense. I am going to try this. I feel like I'm drowning in passive challenges currently.🙏
THIS IS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMAAAAZZING ADVICE!!
Does it work the same with overwhelming anxiety/suicidal outburst
Im glad i survived yesterday
I'm glad you did too
@@kingofbears6999 appreciated 💛
Glad you made it to today and hope you make it to tomorrow and beyond.
Understanding when I have no power has really helped me with my mental health.
Reminds me of the Serenity Prayer: the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, the courage to change what can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I'm not religious, but I always liked that one.
Why on earth this makes so much sense!
i just talk to myself when i feel the circumstances in my physical environment are out of control. mostly the problems come from interpersonal relationships, my parents mostly and my siblings.
i always dedicate time to sort of process these events by lying down and talk to myself. its a therapy because i always get comforted within.
i let memories resurface bit by bit and i digest. i just watch mostly and let emotions be felt.
the solution oriented part of the brain is set aside because i know harping will not fix the issue.
His advice is helpful for most people probably.
If active challenges outweigh what is possible to complete in a set amount of time, I feel overwhelmed.
Now I know why I start to work on board games when things at home start to stress me out. My wife won't tell me again I'm wasting my time 😂
What if your problems are so big that there are no active challenges that will outweigh those problems?
Big problems are most of the times a lot of smaller challenges or tasks. Look what is a little step that you can do. And celebrateing every little step you did. This helped me to get startet.
thats why i cant say i agree with the statement. i find that if i can find something engaging or a problem i can control to tackle on, then i can focus on those without interferences while ignoring the uncontrollable problem
maybe your biggest problems are the 'what ifs'? You can always make up a reason why something wouldn't work. So just start already and everything will seem easier, even if they are not directly correlated.
This video made me feel even more overwhelmed
I thought you meant with my hypervigilance and sensory overwhelm 😂
But this applies to me nonetheless
I found this helpful. Thank you.
when I 1st found you I was great a TH-camr but now im grateful for doc k
Hmm, sounds like good advice, I'll try it when I get in overwhelmed panic mode again.
This is so underrated. For example, if you struggle with body image, instead of being too focused on fixing that, try interacting with people. By having positive interactions it will ease the struggle. In the long run, this will help you to fix the main problem.
Got ADHD meds and now I don't feel overwhelmed thinking about a task and can just do it(more often than not)
Meds helped a lot in getting things done, however I occasionally have times when it seems to intensify my decision paralysis. Generally after finishing an existing task.
Without the meds I would just do whatever happened to catch my attention. Sometimes it was something that needed done, sometimes it was something completely random. However 'ON' meds it's like I can't seem to switch focus on the things on the list, even though I probably should. It's like hyper-focus, but without the ability to tune out the random stuff. Lol 😂
@@calebpurvis6195 I feel virtually zero difference in how I approach tasks with/without the meds tbh. They just let me do things I want to do easier, and I can leave a task for later and actually do it later. Without them I'd have days where my ADHD paralysis was so bad that it'd take me hours to crawl down the stairs because I was so mentally exhausted from just waking up and trying to get out of bed. Days like that are now less frequent and way less intense.
I read so many scary things about Elvanse(vyvanse in usa) before I started taking it but so far it's honestly just kinda of headaches and more frequent nightmares. Which to me is a completely fair trade off for being able to do the things I want to do.
Thank you 🙏🏾
Feels better to overcome the problems though. Moving to new ones to solve feels like I have been bested and need an easier task
thats why “clean ur room” or “someone else’s room” works HAHA
Always...
I needed this
As someone with ADHD, this sounds like the default approach in my life.
Recently found your channel. Really appreciate your content
We called this productive procrastination but yeah this works too
Sometimes I take a step back, rest, and look at the thing that overwhelms me in a refreshed mind. Trying not to think about said problem while I take a step back is hard. But most of the time, it pays off to just give yourself time to recollect yourself if you can
For some reason, I can relate to this😢
This is just like in a video game when your quest stack is full
Fax. Im the best when im busy, but im also really lazy
It's just so counterintuitive to take on active challenges because it can feel like procrastinating or avoiding extremely important passive challenges which might turn into absolute catastrophies. I'm talking life or death scenarios. It's so devastating, I'm losing all strength. And taking on active challenges, oh boy does it sound like a bad idea, even though it might not be.
This is literally the reason why as an ADHD-er, I regularly do everything but what I'm supposed to be doing. 🤷🏽♂️
Dr. K convinces the audience to ignore employment and family, and be addicted to video games
There is some logic here. Interesting point!
"I want problems. Always"
Thank you!! Very helpful!!!
Stay whelmed
Thank You!
Thank you ❤
Oh my god. You have no idea how long I've needed to hear this.
Circle of concern vs circle of influence in a nutshell. If you have to choose, choose the ones that makes you feel empowered rather than busy your mind with what makes you feel powerless (overwhelmed being part of it)
me being overwhelmed by homework :/
Yeah that's what I did a week ago after a month of overthinking and... My mind is CALM now fr
This is why today I fixed my coffee maker instead of trying to “fix” my teen. If anyone has any resources on helping teens with diabetic burnout, I am all ears. 😭
'Oftentimes'. BUT not always.
I don't know if I'll like the rest of your content but thank you for this. This is some great advice!
Wow! Learn something new every day!!!
Thank you Dr K
If I feel overwhelmed (I am many times a day) and time allows it I like to solve a sudoku. It takes up my focus and by the time I'm done I feel accomplished and have calmed down a bit
Problem is this feels more like a short term solution rather than a long term one.
Because i dont believe disassociating yourself from the problems that cause the feeling of being overwhelmed is something that is sustainable.
Especially if they are caused by you doing nothing
This happened to me today 😮 Makes so much sense !
Thank you for this
DR. K Doing the lords work ran across this and sent it to the wife ty dude and supporting team of dude
I can only partially agree. Let's take a young entrepreneur who is biting more than they can chew. The solution is not to take more orders or hire a consultant, it's to take less orders and grow the existing customer base. OR, sure, you might start looking into hiring someone but then you have a different problem and not necessarily one you want.
I've been trying to clean my whole room for like 3 years and I finally managed to make 10% of it spottles..I'm doing another 10% tomorrow and hopefully I can do this before I get sidetracked
Me when I clean my house instead of doing my homework lul.
I have a tangentially related piece of advice.
We often say "I don't apply to jobs or start a business or go to community college because that's hard"
Meanwhile, we intentionally play video games and complain that some are "too easy".
How is it that we crave difficult video games, but whimper at the first sign of challenge in life? It's not because those challenges are hard in life per se , it's really because we are afraid of them. Particularly, we are afraid to find out that our mental faculties are insufficient to flourish in this world.
It's not just about perspective. In instructional design we learned that 80/20 is the most enjoyable level of challenge: 80% existing knowledge meets 20% new knowledge.
It's just like how a well designed boss fight will combine most of the techniques you used to fight the mini bosses, but adds a bit more challenge on top.
Too easy = feeling you're 100% competent and there's nothing new to explore.
Too hard = there is too much new knowledge or skill to master at once, and you're not confident you have the foundation to build upon.
In other words focus on what you can control.
Oh, I am so overwhelmed with the looming math exam tomorrow, let me go study geography. Makes total sense :)
This is why coding has helped me so much
onggg our brains are like computers and computers are like our brains. the little bit of coding helped me organize my decision making and thought process
Best song ever overwhelming
(Anyone can Answer this. I'll take all CONSTRUCTIVE ADVICE/Tips.
What if the thing that is making me feel overwhelmed is my job..and if I am soooo checked out then my proactivity shifts...in turn I can get in trouble.
(I can focus on things I like or am interested in...but my job...I STRUGGLE)
(I'm on 20MG Prozac and 20mg Adderall for reference. I feel like that personal, yet crucial info is important)
Luckily I have been doing this very thing unintentionally.
You just gave ADHD brains a lot of license.
Dr. K,
Why can't you let me suffer in silence?
Do you have to solve all my problems?
Phenomenal advice!
I just get the challenge done in baby steps. My room is way cleaner than it has been in almost a year and all I did was clear some trash across a few days.
This is why i start to play games to forget work.
Maybe that’s why my favorite procrastination tactic is cleaning my house 😮
So how do you go about this when the problem is connected with what generally is considered a need in life; say the control of owning a home and thus the security of the place you live? Affordability in life really sucks right now and being able to get to the next stage in life seems unattainable, to no fault of those experiencing these problems. How does one continue to function when the solution to those problems are never in our control but we need to satisfy the need to feel fulfilled?
That’s what I wanna know. No one ever has an answer for it other than work harder or to move to find work. Or the worst of all: just network. 🙄
i cant say i agree with outweighing active challenges over passive. i find that if i can find something engaging or a problem i can control to tackle on, then i can focus on those without interferences while ignoring the uncontrollable problem
I will try this thanks.
Ok I literally just cleaned my entire apartment to trick my brain into “accomplishment” mode after being too overwhelmed to work for two days straight and BOOM ended up carrying that feeling into complete king a bunch of overwhelming work task right after. Preach!!!! 💛
Oh my god... that makes so much sense 🙈
Ohhh this is why video games are addictive
My favorite advice on this topic! It's so true & explains why I feel better able to tackle everything else when I've unintentional did this 😁 Also... are you Jonas from Sense8?? 🤯
Ohhhhhhh. This makes a lot of sense.
Will have to try this, I always feel overwhelmed xD
Have that 10,001st like, you deserve it
Dark Souls. Just inch your way through all of your problems while dying a thousand times.
Don’t go hollow. Praise the Sun! ☀️
this would be good but im overwhelmed because of my room and school and not having enough actual days off of school
What if I don't want any problems to solve? Trying to solve any problems is what is overwhelming me, not because they are out of my.control.