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The Truth About Marrying A Muslim Revert.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ส.ค. 2024
- If you're a revert, you probably have seen these types of messages.
If you're a white revert sister, then you definitely have received messages like these.
Ezi and Julianne talk about some of the realities of marriage with a revert and some topics related to it.
This video is not meant to call out anyone but we feel it's important to address because these examples are just a tiny fraction of what many revert sisters/brothers receive on a daily basis.
Allah SWT knows our intentions and may he guide us all.
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This is such a wonderful topic! As born muslims SO MANY things are taken for granted, which presents another set of unique trials in comparison.
Also, thank the Lord you're not talking about this during Ramadan, because I'm getting hungry for some rendang I think.
Jazakallah Khayr and thank you for watching!
It's true there are many things that we take for granted and sometimes we just need to take a step back and put it into perspective because it can always be worse. Alhamdulilah anyway. Well, now that it is Ramadan, we wish you a productive and blessed ramadan, filled with iman, forgiveness and ofc tasty rendang.
I've said this many times and I'll say it again, many folks from a broad spectrum of ethnicities and nationalities have an inferiority complex concerning white folks. there's a ftishization of reverts is real but of "white" reverts is a level on its own! as a result of this and a few other reasons, white reverts in general have an easier time finding a spouse compared to other ethnicities. I'll go back to watching the rest of the video now. may Allah bless, preserve and protect your marriage from the harm and dangers of the evil eye 👁️
Ameen Ya Rabb 🤲 and totally agree. The 'fetishization' of white reverts is probably something we could make it's own looong video about 😐
@@halalsnackpackmaybe a podcast on it, careful how you talk about it though cause you might get a poop 💩 storm if you know what I mean. oh well, ramadan mubarak and insha_Allah khair if you decide to do a video on that subject
@@seenoevil6320 ramadan mubarak! 🤲 in sha Allah we'll see if it becomes a video one day
my observation and analysis concludes that because due to the obscenity shown in movies in West and also due to porn, there's a misconception developed among immature eastern men that Western women are hypersexual, loving and funny and they don't mind to be approached by guys.. that's when they see a white Caucasian woman reverting to islam and unmarried, they see it a golden opprtunity to grasp 🤦 but they dont understand that their perception of white western women is heavily flawed
my observation and analysis about this issue concludes that because of the obscenity shown in Western movies and also because of porn.. and the way they portray a specific image of women, there's a misconception developed in Eastern societies specially in eastern men that white Caucasian women are hypersexual, fun loving, and adventurous in nature and easy to approach while they don't find such combination of traits in eastern women.. so that's when they find white western women becoming muslim and unmarried they see it a golden opprtunity for marriage, little they know that their perception of native western women is heavily flawed
Its amazing that you two talk about the things others may be afraid to speak about, while still being hilarious. May Allah SWT reward you.
Amin Ya'raab 🤲. With some of the messages we get, the jokes write themselves sometimes 😂. But do you think people are afraid/cautious to talk about this topic? Jazakallah Khair for the comment and may Allah SWT bless you with goodness too!
Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "Allah does not look at your figures, nor at your attire but He looks at your hearts and accomplishments".
The food one has been an interesting journey in our family. At first in the honeymoon phase, it wasn’t such a big deal but you get to a point where you miss meals and your spouse may become ill thinking about your favorite foods 😂 Comes with a lot of compromise.
And yes realize that the reverts family (or even the born Muslims family) may not accept you or may have many misconceptions about you. It gets stickier after kids 😅. Definitely tests ❤ not always such a nice package 📦 Allahumah Barik
@@wiwitmujiyati8466 Walaikumsalam
We definitely exchange puzzled looks when we discuss some of the foods that we eat 😂Alhamdulilah we both enjoy a lot of the same stuff and learn to enjoy the ones that we aren't so familiar with. Like you said, compromise is deffo the word.
But Alhamdulilah always, with any marriage there will be tests, in any case, we make dua for a blessed and fruitful marriage. Jazakallah Khayr and thank you for sharing! We appreciate all the comments even though we don't always reply the quickest (We're working on it 😅)
@@halalsnackpack you are right, in any marriage there are some tests. No worries ✨Enjoy your Ramadan
@@OneLoveFoodie ramadan mubarak 🤲✨️
Assalammu’alaikum to you both.
I definitely got a chuckle in regards to the food issues. Luckily I’ve got use to spicy food, however I still crave home comfort food occasionally. My tip is (especially for Malay husbands), learn to make Sambal. As far as my hubby is concerned, Sambal goes with everything 😂.
I love that you both cook. Our agreement is I cook, he does the dishes. 😊
Walaikumsalam!
We're glad you had a laugh 😂 Whether it's breakfast, lunch or dinner, sambal is deffo the way to go...for Malays anyway. haha and that's a pretty fair agreement but let me guess, he knows how to make nasi goreng right 😂
Thanks again for watching and commenting! Even though we aren't the quickest to reply (we're pretty bad at that...) we always appreciate it
This was a very mature and sincere response, may Allah reward you both
And Allahumabarik
Alhamdulilah! We're honestly just sharing our thoughts and personal experience ☺️
Salam alaikum, this is a great video and everything you said is true, but I think the issue goes far deeper. In my experience, converts are better off marrying other converts from the same background. Marrying into Muslim families should be the exception and not the rule. In my experience as a convert of 20 years, most marriages between converts and born Muslims end in divorce, often very ugly divorces. I think a major factor that we're not looking at is that for most converts, their entire family and community are non-Muslims. Normally, in a Muslim society, the parents will investigate potential spouses through the community grapevine to weed out mismatches for their son or daughter. This very important social structure is completely absent for the convert, and since Muslims don't date , the results are usually disastrous. It becomes an attraction bias for Muslims who see a convert with no Muslim family to keep them in check before, during and (usually) after the divorce. The cultural aspect also can't overstated. In fact, most Muslims in the same Muslim country won't marry someone from another region of the same country because the cultures are too different. Finally, the born Muslim usually doesn't realize until entering that the convert will have to constantly mitigate the relationship with their in-laws. It isn't like Smile2Jannah or Mohammed Hijab videos where you can just bash White people without any direct consequences. This whole idea of everyone marrying everyone to end racism sounds great on paper, but you don't fully realize how difficult it is until you get into an intercultural marriage.
You know what? Up until the point of watching this video, I had the mentality that my potential spouse should make me a better Muslim, but honestly I should be the one responsible for that solely…
Thank you for the comment and we're glad we could provide a different perspective. The best way is always striving towards Allah and our deen. May Allah ease your tasks and your affairs Amin Ya'Raab. Thank you for watching!
Being the granddaughter of a revert woman, i can say that everything you talked about is spot on. It’s never easy and both husband and wife should be patient and wise. Was it worth it? Absolutely. I have always admired their marriage and their relationship and the family they built together, but I only saw the beautiful part after years of getting used to one another and cultural clashes.
May Allah have mercy on their souls, oma and jiddo ♥️
And may your marriage and relationship be as beautiful and bring you even closer to Allah ♥️
As always, thank you for supporting Syrians during this time ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Is your grandmother a convert? Ma sha Allah :)
@@bazbouz85 she was, Alhamdulillah. Allah yrhamha, May Allah have mercy on her soul ♥️
@@1992madlyn Allah Y Rahma. Where did your grandmother come from?
@@bazbouz85 Germany
@@1992madlyn Ok :) And you are from which origin now?
Great. Topic’s. Keep. Up!
We will! Thank you for watching
great advices guys 👍
Great comment guy 👍(not sarcastic. we really do appreciate it)
Thank you for your video. May Allah bless you both. 🙏
Surah Fatir - 18 : And no bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another. And if a heavily laden soul calls [another] to [carry some of] its load, nothing of it will be carried, even if he should be a close relative. You can only warn those who fear their Lord unseen and have established prayer. And whoever purifies himself only purifies himself for [the benefit of] his soul. And to Allah is the [final] destination.
Well said brother and sister .... May Allah bless your marriage...
You had also mentioned that converts to Islam are usually stronger Muslims than born Muslims, on average. While this is true, I think what's really happening is this. In the current world we live in, we have set the bar so high for people to convert to Islam publicly that only the very strongest people will actually convert to Islam publicly. There are several Westerners who would otherwise convert to Islam, but you're basically entering a situation where many people in your community will see you as a traitor, and entering a Muslim community that harbors a lot of fear, anger and resentment towards White people in general. This is a very difficult balancing act, not to mention all of the religious duties, change in dress etc. And converts are expected to do all of this. This siphons off the vast majority of White people, leaving only those in situations that are feasible to survive as a White Muslim caught between two worlds. Marrying into a Muslim family may work for some of them, but we cannot expect marriage into a totally different culture to be feasible or even diserable for most Westerners. By contrast, for born Muslims, there is no bar: if you're born into a Muslim family, you're Muslim. I think if the barriers for White Westerners converting to islam were removed, you'd see a range of levels of religiosity similar to what we see with different Muslim cultural communities living in the West.
just as Andrew said brothers, work on yourself first my dear brothers
It's true. Work on ourselves and work to be god-fearing, capable men. Surely Allah is with those who persist. Thanks for the comment bro
For some, there is simply the fantasy of the white woman (even more so if she is Scandinavian or Eastern European). But beyond the fantasy, the reality is different and the husband often has to be patient because his converted wife learns progressively, more and more over the years. And of course, it's not just about looks. After that, I don't criticise people's tastes. I can understand that a brother is more physically attracted to a white woman, but this should not go as far as the fantasy, because for me, it becomes a bit sordid (even more so if you add the fantasy of having children specifically with a white woman because that annoys the racists...I like to annoy the racists too, but you shouldn't exaggerate either). Especially since there are plenty of Arab, African and Asian sisters who are wonderful.
Hahah what a great comment!
We enjoy annoying racists too 😂 but its true as you say. There's no problem with having preferences. But for some, the reasons as to why they want a specific type of spouse are questionable. Maybe for some it could be internalised racism and they not know it themselves. In any case, there are brothers and sisters from all backgrounds that are wonderful. As stated in the Qur'an, "...good women are for good men, and good men are for good women." An-Nur 24:26
Jazakallah Khair and we appreciate you watching!
Am a revert for 10 yrs now, currently looking for a wife who is close to Allah.
Honestly is not easy
May Allah make it easy for you! It definitely isn't always easy, especially now with many different and new obstacles. Dua and sincere prayer and Allah will never let you down. May Allah grant you a righteous wife Ameen
I am a Muslim revert, and when my husband told his friends that he married an American, they assumed I was white. I am African American. When he told them I was not white. They asked him why he married me? Needless to say, it bothered me and made me insecure, but then I had to realize that all that matters is that Allah judges us based on our righteousness and character. Allah(SWT) made us so that we may know each other. In the Quran, Allah(SWT) said:
O you people! Surely, We have created you of a male and a female, and made you peoples and tribes that you may know each other. Certainly, the most honorable of you in the sight of Allah is the most pious of you. Surely, Allah is Knowing, Aware. (49.13)
In Prophet Muhammad's last sermon, he(PBUH) said:
"All mankind is from Adam and Eve. An Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab, nor does a non-Arab have any superiority over an Arab; a white has no superiority over a black, nor does a black have any superiority over a white except by piety and good action."
I'm sorry you had to hear that..that would've bothered my insecure self a LOT! 😪 it's an unfortunate truth that when these boys specifically want a revert wife they also specifically mean a white woman. Seeing them specify revert raises a flag for me..but ofc Im sure there are those with pure intentions too. Allahu alam
Thank you for sharing sis. JazakAllahu kheyran 🤲
Your intros don't miss
You guys are right. Reverts should prefer reverts from their own culture.
Not necessarily. As long as both sides are prepared for possible cultural challenges and such, then in sha Allah kheyr. A marriage is hard work no matter the circumstances.
JazakumALLAH kheir, very good video
Jazakallah Khayr! Thanks for watching! We appreciate it.
Very important topic
We think so too! Thank you for watching, we hope you found it beneficial
Nice thoughts.
I would say every person is coming from a different background and experience.
A revert should be open to listen to that person before judging or refusing him.
Definitely, as long as they're not sending creepy messages to the revert first 🤓
@@halalsnackpack such as what? What do you think the best approach be like?
@@aj4292 well for starters, not acting like a creep by sending lovey dove messages to a random sister online they don't know.. Not contacting sisters privately as this can lead to fitnah. If a Muslim is serious about marriage and wants to approach someone they should include their family that can help approach. I.e. Your sister or mother can approach the woman directly or you yourself can try to contact the woman's wali.
It's not about what I think, it's about proper Islamic etiquette and following what is permissible or not.
@halalsnackpack I agree with that but a lot of times if you are interested in a revert who is online you won't know their wali also if their wali/parents aren't Muslim then they might find it weird. Also, sometimes a person might not have a parent or a sister. I'm just talking in general without being specific to a case
@@aj4292 I get that aspect, but in those scenarios I think the man/woman should first look after someone in their area, in their masjid or so on. Just because someone is active online does not mean they're interested or actively seeking marriage. Depending on what the person posts online, especially from a womans point of view then she will feel like the man is solely contacting her due to her looks, for example. Seeing someone online does not meet we know them, so from my perspective, men approaching me cause they fail to see that I am already married lol, is very creepy. Even if their intentions are actually good, it comes off as insincere, cause why do these men want to marry a strange woman(me)? Who they don't know at all.
Very good video. I am buddhist and my husband is muslim, sometimes I have to remember him that he is muslim, I am smiling but I care about spiritual grow of everyone and I am learning about Islam. Karma. Have a nice life.
Sorry to say that, but your marriage is haram, he can married only women of the book. But inshAllah who knows, Allah guide us
@@aliajed6150 it is better that you read well the book before write those inesact words.
Came from insta story ...to comment first
FIRST! Congratulations 🎉👏👏
I burn myself out every night wracking my brain how to get married as a male
Revert of 14 years. Still no luck. As a vietnamese english only speaking dude raised in america its... tough. Rant over. On a positive note, i think african ladies can be the most beautiful as opposed to the trends you mentioned. Allahuma barik
I am not even a Muslim, but enjoyed your video very much. God bless you both.
Thank you! We are glad you enjoyed it nonetheless
When ur spouse is brought up to pancakes for dinner and the other second half thinks it is a breakfast food 😅
Hahaha relatable 😂😭
Your channel are underrated.
This comment is underrated
As a revert, I believe I will not be able to fulfill the part of my Deen that includes marriage and must make it up to Allah (SWT) in other ways. I remember before I reverted I heard a poet say, "We believed no one would ever love us. That we would never meet someone to make us feel like the sun was something they built for us in their toolshed. That we'd be lonely forever." For me, this may be true when it comes to the brothers and sisters on Earth, but I can feel fulfilled for now with my Master, Subhanallah.
Salam; thanks for talking about this. I came across a born muslim who is displaying many red flags. 🚩
1, he wants to marry because i’m a revert.
2, asking me to make duas for him all the time because he thinks i’m more “pious” then others and that Allah will answer those prayers
3, calling me his soulmate and spouse when we haven’t even met…
I just know this person is not genuine so i’m glad I came across your video.. confirming this for me
Walaikum salam sis! Wow, he really hit the nail on those red flags 🫣 I'm glad you spotted them early, alhamdulillah. May Allah swt make it easy for you to find a good spouse 🤲 thank you for watching sis
ما شاء الله اتمنى لكم التوفيق والنجاح والسعادة والفرح الدائم والاستقامة بارك الله فيكم وجزاكم الله خير الجزاء الاسلام دين منطقي وعقلاني ومقنع وبسيط ومفهوم
InnalHamdulliLaahir Rabbil aalaameen.
BarakalAllahu Feekum.
AsSalammualaikum wa RahmatuLAHi wa Barakahtuh.
BarakAllah Feekum
Subhan Allah there is still an issue with racism in Islam even people who will blatantly profess that they are not racist but they are. There are so many revert sisters out there that brothers could marry however most revert sisters are black and will get overlooked Allahu musta’aan. Nothing wrong with having preferences however often preferences are rooted in racism. So many wanting to marry white reverts do they have lighter skinned offspring Subhan Allah. May Allah azza wa jal guide us all. Ameen.
ما شاء الله انتم تتنتعون ال شجاعة والجرأة والذكاء والصدق اتمنة لكم التوفيق والنجاح والسعادة والاستقامة يا اخواني الكرام تحياتي لكم
Good on you for tackling these tough topics.
Thanks for the comment! It's not really talked about much and we thought we'd share our experiences. It would be interesting to see other people's perspective on this matter. Thanks for watching!
Yeah, it was good. Make more videos like this. I don't know your name brother, but your joking sense and way of talking is like @theanimeman, which is hilarious that I am seeing a Halal Muslim version Joey lol, and it makes me happy.
Thank you for the comment! We're glad you enjoyed it. I'm not sure if its already taken but maybe there's space for a halal anime man
@@halalsnackpack Lmao, it's not taken. I might try and publish some contents on it xD.
As someone who grew up on boiled potatoes and is married to a Moroccan, I'd rather cook Tajine, harira and make chebakia from scratch than eating another bland meal 😂
Still appreciate my mom's efforts regardless. She's the best 😊
Hahah I am sick of boiled potato as well 😂 we don't have much of very traditional norwegian dishes cause some of the meats are difficult to get halal or very expensive. I do prefer his foods, but sometimes I also miss the good ol bland dishes 😁
@@halalsnackpack haha I relate to that a lot. I've also tried to find halal replacements for the meat in some Dutch dishes but it can indeed be hard to find good and cheap alternatives. My husband declares me insane when I crave "bland dishes" 😂 I'd love to try some Norwegian food one day! :o Anything you'd recommend?
@@sharon4212 haha we have this kids comfort food "dish" called milk soup which basically is boiled macaroni in hot milk with sugar and cinnamon 😂😂 but definitely try out norwegian meat cakes with gravy if you have halal beef minced mead available. Obviously we use boiled potatoes with it but to make it less boring I make potato wedges or mash, or I buy hashbrowns etc instead.
@@halalsnackpack Thanks a lot!! I'll make sure to try it 😊
May Allah Make is easy for us reverts💙, Ameen.
Ameen Ya Rabb 🤲
Since this video…sales of mirrors in ikea have gone up by record numbers!!!😂
❤❤❤
I don't know, but were u pulling her leg at 10:30 ? 😄😄
Maybe 😁 I do like potatoes tho
Men marry women they are attracted to, regardless of revert or born Muslim. Your husband married you for the same reason. I am a brown man, I rejected white women I was not attracted to and I was rejected by white women I was attracted to, it is as simple as that, and no, color of skin helps but this is not the only crierion for beauty.
Assalamuilaikum
Walaikumsalam!
A salaamu Alaikum sister and brother, please can you help me find out a revert girl who’s looking for a righteous Muslim husband - I’m ready to marry
Have self respect
Why did you leave Norway and are you going to come back?
I believe its because the migration laws are more lenient. So for her husband to come live with her, they moved to Sweden.
@@towardshidayat Roger that.
👍👍
Thank you for watching 👍👍
Try to find islam/peace ( A man need to attain islam/peace by following deen/judgement of Allah) in him/her before getting married. There is nothing call born muslim/submitter to the words of Allah in Al-kitab (the book) of Allah.
We must all focus on becoming better Muslims. After marriage, it becomes a team effort. Thank you for watching
Asalam o alaikum girl are you married
I'm intrested to who revert
Why? All born Muslims rejected you?
Try not being a pathetic predator maybe girls from your culture might be interested
Your average Abdullah is out here making $10,000 a year and playing video games all day and not taking care of themselves but they’re asking for a beautiful aryan revert wife that takes care of them like a baby 😂
Desis be like.
Hi sir am sorry sir united for the quadruple sir
Yes sir quadruple sir this season
Ggmu forever
United rulez loserpools snooze
reality all the muslims are not ready to marry a revert, if you talk about it. they have various reasons. as a revert I tell you belive in Allah not the people.
True!
masyaallah that 2:40 comment wants to
1)"tawassul" using u. due to having bad perception towards "ar-rahman ar-rahim" in terms of accepting dua of his slaves.
2) promoting the evil eye or "ain" by indirectly calling u pious without, glorifying back! the one that gives you ability of being pious.
Creed @ Aqeedah. veery important. more important than fiqh