I do not believe that it is a good thing to believe everyone is good. A co-dependent person and a narcisstically disordered person are not balanced. The narcissistic has to work on being more in tune with others, and the codependent has to learn to establish healthy boundaries. It is delusional to believe that everyone is good. That perspective will lead one to ruin. Discernment from God is what is necessary for balance. Ask God for wisdom. James 1:5 tells us that if you ask for wisdom, God will give it generously without finding fault: “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” ... Through wisdom you can get everything you want. It's all contained in Proverbs 3:13-18
That is a good word analogy I like that I was so gullible and naive I had nothing up to protect me I've learned to do some boundaries and it certainly has helped and I had to develop the skill to keep my boundaries up cuz I so wanted to lay them down and help people and love them.. and I would always put myself in a compromise position.. God bless you
Same I always try to see the best in people, and they end up dragging me down, yet I still try to say maybe the had a rough life. It's so hard because I want to love them but don't want the abuse.
BQ: I walked away from someone who is just that her name is Hilary Mary Courage! She is really nasty and I kept my distance from Narcissist! I kept her away from me...
I am an empath. The first step in healing and getting to know yourself. Kinda like admitting you're an alcoholic. In this case, I am an empath. 36 and a half years married to a narcissist. Divorced 5 years ago. The inner peace is priceless, my love of animals is great. I trust animals more than I do people. Life is beautiful. Everyday a blessing.
Thank you for sharing Annette. This gives me hope that I will continue to recover after 23-25 years with a narc who is the child of a narc. Absolutely exhausted myself trying to make the Union work. Did not really know about being a Empath until about 15-16 years in and didn’t start understanding narcissism until about 18-19 years in. Game changer but wish I had known about it and understood 30 years ago. I would have made very different decisions. But that PEACE thing is REAL. SO VERY GRATEFUL to find myself within the rubble and rise up in PEACE. THAT ALONE, is worth the entire ride.
I am good with dogs and birds i am an impath and now im trying to find out how the heck a narc got a hold of me anad sucked my life out of me ...I almost ended myself back there but im back now cheers everyone..Glad i had you guys
I just left a relationship and I feel so calm. Three years and although he wasn’t a narcissist his family members were. I escaped. I now am alone with my 5 cats. It’s a lot at times but for the first time in years I feel like I can breathe.
You dodged a bullet, im on the path to healing from the abuse. I'm finally mustering the courage to open up share my story. I'm hoping I can share my on my channel soon 💛
I’m a male empath and I’ve attracted many narcs over my years. My siblings are pathological liars and narcs. My ex’s were narcs too. They zero in on you because you give freely with no expectations in return. Emotional vampires. I almost took my life in my early twenties because of all the emotional draining. I found God and started building a solid foundation. Videos like yours has helped tremendously.
You’re not alone, bud. I learned so much from Stephanie since close to the beginning that I was able to get out of a highly narcissistic relationship and continue studying my identity as an empath. I’ve used many channels and articles over the past 2 years to learn the most about myself. Keep going, press forward, life is grand!!
Yea don’t forget the empaths true mission is to pass beyond that belief that your unwanted, (fragmented by your internal critic? Be aware everyone of us is suppose to be as one, although that’s not the true eternal goal, you have to find your path towards the idea that’s called curiosity, instead of what do you want? Which is a lower form of existence..but that’s okay if you’re not ready for now), it is to get in touch with other empaths who are aware, educate and move your soul beyond external beliefs (the toxic influence should not depart yourself from what you are born as) and towards that part why you are born as an empath in the first place, your beliefs will not ever stop. Divine bless yourself every day back into that light, your path will follow.
I was once told: "Don't expect people to treat you like you would treat them." Fortunately for me now, I am now with people who are nice, pleasant and friendly towards me.
A narcissist will make you doubt your good qualities.. kindness, nurturing, generosity, dependable, responsible. You may have been told you had these qualities your whole life. You may have once had a wonderful sense of humor. All of these qualities are twisted into negative qualities.... control, lack of boundaries, insensitivity, selfishness. The frustration and anger from the gas lighting, projection, denial and crazy making leave you feeling extremely depressed, anxious and depleted. This is where I find myself.
Bingo! And I feel empty and numb half the time, from the stress of it all! I'm learning alot from these videos, but it's a lot to take in! Feels good to know that there are others who can relate. Wish I'd know about all of this, YEARS ago!
@M FWC: I do think it's important to note that codependents often times DO have lack of boundaries and this is precisely why narcs are drawn to such people. They can drain them dry. It's important to learn to say no when necessary and identify these narcs right away.
I worked on myself for 3 years, built a happy life, didn’t NEED anyone but WANTED someone, have amazing intuition, and still attracted someone with these toxic attributes
Toxic people are toxic people regardless of who you are. Nothing to do with who you are. It's not your fault a toxic person comes into your life, however You are responsible with what you do about it.
Yep. You can torture yourself that it’s about you. But they may have been abused by their mom, and you happen to resemble their mom. In one sense it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t an empath. Sometimes I love being an empath. All in all it’s extremely draining because I can feel everyone’s feelings on an extreme level. I feel so tired at the end of the day.
I do think that a great majority of "empaths" are people who grew up surrounded by narcissists and learning that they are insignificant, meaningless and easy to discard so they tend to throw their lives at the feet of others hoping that their love and boundless loyalty will gain them the love they never received as children.. Also empaths don't have the self love or confidence to need or even feel comfortable receiving love.. I know it, because I am an empath. I said "no more" 2 years ago and now I'm putting myself first, ALWAYS
This is pretry much the same conclusion I've come to about my empathetic issues. I have definitely been guilty of throwing my loyalty at people hoping to get the love I feel I didn't get as a kid. Now that I can see where this issue comes from I can start to work on it in a way that can actually help me get to the other side. Great insight!
I can't relate to this as an empath. I think it's different for every person. For me, it's definitely that I can imagine myself in their shoes, and think of how much the situation they're going through must hurt them. As a result, I try to protect them from emotional pain by providing what they need. It's crazy, because you can really improve exponentially at establishing boundaries, but then suddenly one day you realize you let one slip in once again. I guess it's hard to not just accept "hurting people," and view them with a critical eye? Sigh.
To my same empathetic people...just put a limit in everything you do. Always in between, be balance. Like be good (well it's natural to us).,but don't be stupid too. Love you all💜
Make a list of 50 things you're proud of about yourself... Yes, 50. It'll help you nail down your identity so you can't be told who you are by someone who can't see you
I was an empathy all my life and all my resources were sucked out of me by sociopaths, narcissist and cluster-b personalities. You’re being SUPER generous when you mention that they often will fake superficial apologies! Almost all the ones I met become hostile and indignant when I finally called them out. And since they had obsoletely NOTHING invested in the relationship, they grabbed everything they could and just walked away with an evil “ I got over” smirk on their faces! It’s a bit late now in my life however I have learned the grandest of lessons!!
As an empath, it is so easy to get addicted to a narcissist. They know exactly how to manipulate your good traits to their advantage. I've suffered for years because the addiction is so hard to escape. A very good presentation Stephanie, I found this helpful.
Good thing i identified my friend as a narcisist as soon as he tried to get close to me so i build up a wall and i agree that narcisist is so addictive because of their charm and pretention. Good thing i am aware about how they works coz if not i will be suffering right now.
For a narcissist to be happy, two conditions have to be met. One, they regularly need a victim to hurt. Two, they have to get away with it. (They require being regarded as still good, fine people because they would never hurt anyone willingly, or nobody else knows they like to hurt people).
Very very accurate..The cover they so expertly and pathologically believe. They are also actors as they know how much fooling they have under their belt..THIS can IF you fall for one of their stunts..subtle or bigger is something to make you doubt yourself..or erase you..hurt your being. Presence. My awareness is helping me..and my higher self or G-d..and nudges to help me know HEY. .that was a STINKER😆😁😁
MPB Brunson You are absolutely right hun!!! He is very miserable. In fact, it’s a shame that he can’t even realize that he’s the cause of his own problems!
“It’s not about trusting other people, it’s about learning how to love yourself and trusting Yourself.” Beautifully stated. That really is the crux. We can’t care for others if we don’t care for ourselves. Thanks for posting this video. The empath-narcissist dynamic is very well-explained.
I am an empath and I have been raised by a narcissistic mother that was grooming me for taking abuse from people, to the point where destroyed my relationships. My boyfriend and father of my child have started treating me the same way she did after moving in after a couple of months, which means that he has a narcissistic tense. But it's working progress to finish healing, finding your videos has helped me start that.
You hit the nail on the head. Often abuse takes place because we don’t know what to look for and like you said, empaths always see the best so it’s hard to equate certain behaviour as ‘abuse’. Often, when I’ve recognised abuse in relationships I told myself I was being too picky and judgemental and just ignored the red flags. I’m now learning to love myself, know my value and set boundaries.
Yes! And I'm having a really hard time knowing what to do, INSTEAD of doing what I've done! I wish there was a "group" for this, where I live. Or someone who could try to explain me to my Mother. Lol!
loveisforever hmm you don’t go up to someone and set boundaries per say. First you have to know what you are willing to tolerate in terms of how someone speaks to and treats you. That is your boundary. If they cross that line ie mistreat you or speak inappropriately, you either have to confront them about it or realise that it’s time to walk away. Hope that helps.
What's worse is that when you confront these narcissists about their abusive behaviour, it's like a shock to them . It's as if they don't even know that are narcissistic lol. But deep down they do
Yup, then gaslighting comes into picture that you are over reacting. Making you feel that you are the problem as you are an over reactor. 😪. Its extremely exhausting.
I live alone with 7 dogs. I'm officially broken and have given up on other people. I find that I'm much happier adjusting to life without toxicity than taking the chance being around people who especially nowadays are really self-entitled and narcissistic.
two rescue cat-loving pitties and two rescue pittie-loving kitties are my fur family...I will always feel safe with all animals, the humans are the ones to be vetted xxx best to you
From personal experience with narcissists, and from getting out of relationships with them, I can say that the problem with narcissists is US. When we’re healthy, whether we’re empaths or not, narcissists perceive our inner self-worth, self-love, and boundaries and don’t even come close to us. We instinctively repel them. If we have to work with them, they keep their distance. They know who they can pray on and who they can’t. Narcissists tend to have a fragile ego. People who are whole and emotionally healthy scares them away. Take your focus away from the narcissist in your life and focus on you-healing your inner child.
Pay attention to a person's patterns over time and your intuition and you will live a wonderful life if you don't stand for anyone who oversteps your boundaries
Thank you so much for sharing, this is very helpful, after been used and hurt so many times in the past years, I finally started to understand ppls game and how they try to manipulate me. I suffered a lot, even seen a psychologist for almost a year. I thought everyone was just like me until this year I realized ppl see you as themselves, the person you’re in other peoples eyes are not you but themselves. other people that’s sad, but that’s human being. I hope all the kind people can learn to spot and avoid the NPDs ASAP. Protect your time and energy ❤
Healing is the key. Getting free of narcissists involves healing childhood trauma. Unmet childhood needs are common and can be healed, through accepting and taking care of yourself. Loving yourself, more than needing another person, is the key to walking away from anyone who harms or hurts you. Realising that you don’t truly need anybody, because you are an adult who can meet your own needs, is powerful and can transform your life. Anybody can do this. Thanks Stephanie Lyn, for speaking up about your experiences and helping people on their journey.
I was an empath and co-dependent to the max. Then the pain of being used and abused became too much. Then I turned to working hard to deepen spiritually and work on and develop and ask for my relationship with my Creator who knows me inside and out. And slowly over many painful, really lonely years spent confronting this issue, I slowly pulled out of this pattern. I'm better now but have to stay vigilant every day. (Please don't think that I'm saying I was a perfect person. I'm not. But I was misguided willing to override myself and my basic needs and give everything I had away, including my $$, to others who didn't deserve or need it. I don't do that anymore.) We all can heal. God bless you all.
I stopped thinking all people were good after dating a narcissist and realizing they had this disorder. Now I know to gather information about someone first. Knowing that not all people are good was hard to accept but it helps stop toxic people from coming into your life.
By spiritual, what exactly did you do, or would you reccomend. I know a weird question. Lost my dad in aug, it was really heavy for me. I was the only one at his side with his wife that was wtealing his meds. stuck inbetween a lot of chaos and I've always been what this video nailed in on. Hope you have a nice day/ life lily.
SilkyJay86 i think by spiritual he meant meditation , yoga , breathing exercise , reading books about personal growth outdoor workout And sleep more and yes try to stay away from alcohol cuz that will boost ur depression mode even more!
Thank you for the validation I desperately needed. After my 3rd toxic relationship in a row, I am trying to figure out what is wrong with me. This has given me some light from the dark place I am in.
Yes that's very true I'm an empath and I stayed for 13 years in a marriage I knew he had a very bad childhood and I really felt bad for him I wanted to make it better not realizing you can not fix these people
Doreen this is spot on. I give you credit for leaving, I know it's something that takes a lot of courage. I try to keep in mind that I can love (from a distance) but I no longer need to be involved. Too much of my identity was being jeopardized being with someone so toxic. We all deserve true love, not something disguised as it!! God bless 🙏
Everything you said in this video was absolutely the best advice. It's NOT just knowing about narcissistic abuse, or how to spot a narcissist, it's ALL about finding a way to love yourself so much that no one can break that love. You have set boundaries and stick to them. You respect yourself, you won't tolerate any form of abuse again and have the strength to leave a relationship, should red flags appear. I've been involved in 3 relationships with both narcissists and a true psychopath. I have learned so much and am on the path to self discovery and self love. It's not easy, but I'm doing the work daily and feeling better about me, slowly but surely. I am far from where I want to be, but I have faith that I WILL get to a place in my life where I'm strong and love myself more than ever before.
Interesting Hannah F..only a very STRONG SOUL "would choose 2 be born into that lesson"..hard one! Choose not 2 get into "victim mood"..just get out..WISE..U dont have 2 have contact with ANY family (OR humans in general) IF they misstreat U in any spiritual mental OR physical way..BUT..if U are WISE..U alreathy KNOW ;)
Very beautifully explained! Many people don't know that they are going through abuse from a narcissist. Because they know something is off about someone or situation but they ignore that intuition. They should build and work on themselves mentally first to tackle any type of narcissist. Thanks for the great video 🌷
Even if you are healed, I think someone who is narcissist does can find a way (may you have a weakness for a special period) to manipulate you slowly and artisticly. Then you have to notice the signs and go away. We are not always that strong and confident!! The best video ever!!! Thank you so musc!
Thank you for this! I think as empaths we’re also able to sense negative energy and ulterior motives. We should use that as an asset to guard our hearts
I'm an empath, who recently cut off my narc-ex. Its a scary stage, focusing on self-care and enjoying life on my own! I should hope that I'm a more educated empath now but I take it that we need to develop our lives and selves to the point of 'not needing' anyone and coming from a place of abundance - rather than lack. Many thanks for your videos and helping me identify further where things could improve and pick better partners!!!
I am so glad I found you! You have inspired me to really work hard on self-love and how to trust my instincts. I broke up with an emotionally-charged man who was extremely selfish before Christmas. I realize now I cant make excuses for bad behavior and decided being alone is best so I can learn to love myself again and find what makes me happy. Me happy- not another individual ❤️
@@Whisperbutterfly look up videos/google self respect, self love, self work (this last one is good to know yourself and heal trauma). That's help me (I've done other search and soul searching stuff like exercise and eating healthy, meditation, and so on)
I love being an empath. It has been extremely rough and very painful because I am codependent and I have loved several narcissists. I have a child with one, however I am learning how to love myself, slowly, one day at a time. It is hard sometimes but it is a gift to be so caring and loving, there are just many tools I have yet to learn. Looking forward to the journey. Grateful for the process.
That is so very me and narcissists hate that lol! Hahaha! I now enjoy the hatred tho. It used to bother me. Now I gladly expect it! I refuse to not be empathetic. I'm intentionally giving to a fault. But once I smell cheese, I sit back and watch them walk into their own trap. It's the fun part! And I get to keep my empathetic friends! I win! 💃 Best of both worlds! Lol!
It's so sad that you go throughout your entire life deeply caring about the feelings of others that you end up attracting those who want nothing more than to destroy you and completely disregard your feelings. Like wtf is wrong with our genetic makeup as humans to even have that be a thing?
Empaths feel a lot of different emotions, my mom is actually a narcassist, for a long time i was mad at her for the way she treated me after my grandmother died, she spent her life drinking and losing her jobs but i broke away from it and left the money my grandmother gave me to my sister that lives with her, empaths are very giving too and not easily bought by money, thats why people feed off them but if i can break free of it then anybody can do it. Its all about will power and putting your foot down when people cross your boundries.
I am an empath and one of the key things that I realized is that narcissists and empaths are two sides to the same coin, meaning, the root of our behavior stems from the same underlying cause: insecurity. It is only that we have two opposing strategies to deal with it: one to care and get as close as possible and one to not care and to pull away (like anxious and avoidant attachment theory). No wonder we attract one another. That realization has made me realize that narcissists are not simply evil beings and I am not just a kind-hearted victim, as that narrative takes away my personal responsibility for my flawed strategy to deal with my insecurities. Furthermore, as there will always be narcissists in the world as they will not have the self-awareness to realize that they themselves are the problem, it's up to me and me only to protect myself against that by dealing with my insecurities. Best of luck to anyone trying to deal with their insecurities.
This was and still is me. I was always looking for "the one", the one to love and see me in a way I couldn't for myself. I am learning to be ok with me. Great video Steph!!!
Currently walking through a divorce with my narc husband and he refuses to move out!! Your videos have helped me so much to learn to hold onto myself and not react to his tactics. Thanks so much!
Put healthy walls around yourself to protect you! I love it ! Now we need to educate everyone about what healthy relationships sb for your self very good info ! Thanks for discussing this
@Rachel Johnson He's agreed for me to keep the house and for him to keep other assets. It isn't a financial issue. Its a control issue. But thank you for your input. :)
Stay strong. Do not react to any words or bait. Do not show any emotion and do NOT explain or expand. Keep all communication to one and two word neutral answers, that is it
Thank you Stephanie for this video, I’ve always attracted narcissists as I’m a people pleaser and empath, so they see me coming, I’m in need of your coaching, your videos are the first step to healing as I practice self love, so thank you 🙏🏾
As a highly sensitive person/empath, I’m so thankful that my husband is genuine, caring, loyal and loving. God had grace on me. But...man I attract all the narcissistic friends. It’s a very painful experience. Trying so hard to break that cycle and establish genuine friendship. Probably because my mom and sister are narcissistic 🤔💔
Wow this was incredibly stated and I feel like you just verbalized everything I’ve been working towards and feeling was true all along. I want to share this with everyone! Thank you 🤗
I scrolled the comments specifically for this very situation. It feels so uncomfortable to me, but I'm sure that I need to cut off my mother. It's for my own good and mental stability. 💜
Thank you so much. I've recently come out of a narcissistic relationship and didn't even realize I was attracting these kinds of people. Now that I know it starts with me and that I can recognize the areas in myself I need to work on, I will be much more aware in the future.
Your talks have contained some of the missing ingredients in my journey of healing and learning to love myself, a journey of over 20 years. I’ll never stop seeking wholeness ; there’s always another layer, something new to discover. You are clear and speak well and I thank you for your time and efforts.
Thank you. I needed this video. I had a "friendship" with someone who I got very close to, but ended up using me. Part of me still sees them as a good person, but their behaviour says otherwise: bullying, gas lighting, ignoring, undermining. They are a narcissist and I need to let go. Wish I wasn't an empath - too many feels, and not just my own.
Watching this video I thought a lot about how I let someone hurt me and how much I still have to work on myself....but I also felt like through educating myself about narcissism and emotional abuse in general,there has been an improvement in my life and that yes,we can change and be able to finally take care and love ourselves . You are helping us a lot,thank you💐
Just found out I'm INFJ after watching vids on the subject omg!!! After watching your video I'm so thankful to know the relationships in my life were all my fault becuz of my INFJ personality I mean you straight up described a relationship I'm in and how this individual hooked me 💯 by being 2 different people...the normal & the nars. I've finally realized last week this person never loved me and they have 0 empathy. I'm working hard to move on...it's a slow process but I'm feeling so much better today that im taking time to take care of my needs. Wow, I can't talk enough about this video. Thank you Stephanie much much ❤️ & respect.
Everything you're saying is so true that I'm just crying through this😢😢😢. It's as though I'm having a well needed counseling session. I'm single and I've been for a very long time. After being tired of being ill-treated, I had to cut ties with someone. The only problem is there'd be random times I have continues dreams about them or when out of nowhere, they start creeping in my thoughts non-stop, a few days later they contact me. And this has been happening for some time. I haven't may friends. I literally have 4 people who I consider my friends but even with that I have doubts with one and so after, existing the ex friend's life, I'm overly guarded to the point whereby i have a fear or difficulty starting any kind of relationship with people. I've always known from a young age I wasn't like my peers. In fact I didn't like playing outside, I was bullied, it made more sense to be in the company of older people for the conversations that were had made more sense. I suppose one could say I always felt a bit more emotionally mature than kids my age. At the same time I found it hard to make friends cause I felt misunderstood. I even felt like maybe im just a socially awkward person. In my 20s I tried to be a bit more social; having accepted my sexuality i wanted to meet other people of the lgbtq community because I felt somewhat a sense of belonging. That wasn't it at all. If anything I felt out of place so stopped attending lgbtq events, etc. Now in my 30s I've reverted back to just keeping people at arm's length. Also mostly keeping to myself cause the hurt I've felt over the years is just way too much to have new people bring in their possibly narcissistic traits into my life. I just want to ultimately break away from this one person, whom I've chosen to part ways with, yet tend to still be drawn to. I can totally ignore them when they try reach out to me for months on end, but I've given in when they are down. And help and give advise but not a maintain communication with them thereafter. I found myself in an emotional pickle recently, so much so I just felt like ending this I feel too much and tired of being overwhelmed. I called this person cause for whatever reason, when we were close they had words of comfort. After feeling better...I don't want to maintain a relationship. But I'd like to break away from this person completely because as much as there's good in them, the bad outweighs the good because I'm dealing with the suppressed emotions of our past relationship. -sigh-
Thank you!! This was the best explanation of empathy and codependency that I’ve ever heard. I am an empath but I am not codependent. That’s why I was able to leave my narcissist ex husband 4 months after we got married.
Don’t allow and accept the negatives that breaks boundaries on you. Do not give that person the time of day. What they also do is twist the truth from their own faults. Let them continue to complain and bad mouth you as long as you do not stay. They will never realize what they did wrong. Healthy dating is maintaining your walls and boundaries and still have a great time. Keep the flow going, watch, and communicate- always. Don’t let repetition get in place. Leave when it’s just enough!
It was hard for me for many years having a family member that is a narcissist. but I am no longer swayed by that type of person . Healthy boundaries is all I will say.
Accurate about me ! This was a light bulb moment. Often we dont see what it is in ourselves To address for growth and improvement. This nailed it for me. Thanks for the help! Grateful you took time to make this video. Upward and onward
Wow! Stephanie is incredible how the universe brings people or guide you in directions that your meant to hear or do. I'm an empath and have done the work for the past year of self love, and running into your video,assures me that I have made those changes in my life and not ever dealing with a narcissist ever again. Thank you, this is totally true.
Thank you so much for this video; I have finally set a boundary with toxic ppl because I have dealt with my own issues of codependency; I would rather choose independence and be happy with myself moving forward than be stuck in the past with an emotional abuser. I am looking forward to the future and forgetting the past has liberated me and set me free to trust myself. Thank you for the validation with this video.
This type of stuff should be taught in schools, mental health in general. Most people don’t realize this is a thing and it’s real!! The very thing in this video, I’ve gone through in exact! It’s no joke. And its worse when everyone around you is uneducated in the situation. I’ve been being judged for staying in a toxic abusive relationship for so long when this lady has precisely broken down the exact reason why and how I ended up allowing this to go on for so long.
You are so brilliant. The way you spoke about the cognitive dissonance made me have an epiphany, I had been going through this and was so frustrated with it, I could never find a word for what I was feeling and you just summed it up so effortlessly. Everything you said about examining your inner wounds struck deeply with me as well. I don't know how you do it but thank you for being so brilliant and helpful!
Damn! I needed to hear this! You’re were Spot on! I learned soooooo much about myself of 42 years wrapped up in less than 15 minutes ... im still blown away....I definitely need to work on self love and break the co-dependency with my ex who is a complete narcissist!
This is spot on. Specially the part where you mention having boundaries being more important than to recognize the red flags... I've seen the red flags but because of the lack of boundaries I've ended up hurt. It's a lesson also not to be impulsive with sleeping with the guy very soon since we might get emotionally attached to him. All guys have expectations of getting in your pants. The narcissists will hate that you set a boundary, but the right guy will respect that. Thanks for this video 🙌🏻🌺♥️
It's a 9 to 1 ratio narcissists to empaths, so when a narcissist does prey on you, they don't let go easily, which is why so many of these relationships end in violence. Because there are so few empaths, it's very difficult for them to find each other. So, you end up a very emotionally healthy person living alone with your dog(s) and/or cat(s).
Thank you Stephanie!💖 I really needed this today. Sometimes even after we feel we've come so far in our healing and have learned to love ourselves again, we still fear that we aren't enough or haven't learned enough to possibly move on and into another relationship. I really cherish the fact that I'm an empath and an HSP, I didn't even know what those things were before my life kind of exploded because of narcissistic abuse, I just thought I was different than most people and extremely sensitive! All the pain and abuse led to a self awareness and acceptance that I didn't even know was possible before. You have really been a huge part of my healing and renewed self-love. This video made me think maybe I am ready to start dating a little and not be so afraid of attracting another narcissist! Thanks again and God bless😊
I needed to see this video. After 6 years of abusive relationships. This video made so much sense to me. I am a co-dependent empath and I really need to now focus on myself and figure this out. Thank you!! New subscriber 😍
I love you.. and I mean this in the most respectful way.. (you just told me my whole love life without even knowing I exist) 😩😢🤦🏽♀️💜 wow thanks this really helps 🤧
I think I'm ambivert, but I'm also a sweet person and people tend to over step my sweetness . I don't like to be mean or ugly and over half the time don't speak my mind as I should and it leaves me irritable and at times angry . Once I reach a point of had enough thought after putting up with it for awhile I explode and let them have a piece of my mind and stand my ground set boundaries and in some situations even disassociated with some. Now I dont see everyone as good I learned through abuse you can't trust everyone and I can feel negative energies coming off some people so strong I had moments I felt drained after talking to them. I so much rather being around positive people which lift you up makes you feel alive.. My situations were with a few family members and few I thought were friends I learned the hard way wasn't real friends. Learn to love yourself enough to say no and no longer put up with abuse from anyone. Amen
I stopped believing EVERYONE is good ..
now they need to prove it
Jane lane they are all guilty to proven innocent 😂
I do not believe that it is a good thing to believe everyone is good. A co-dependent person and a narcisstically disordered person are not balanced. The narcissistic has to work on being more in tune with others, and the codependent has to learn to establish healthy boundaries. It is delusional to believe that everyone is good. That perspective will lead one to ruin. Discernment from God is what is necessary for balance. Ask God for wisdom.
James 1:5 tells us that if you ask for wisdom, God will give it generously without finding fault: “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” ... Through wisdom you can get everything you want. It's all contained in Proverbs 3:13-18
Fiona I agree , I don’t trust nobody now .
Jane lane because they are honestly
theyare not good
Boundaries! Boundaries! Boundaries! If someone shows you who they are and don't respect your boundaries, RUN LIKE HELL!
Facts
And that goes for family also!!
Learning quickly. Amazing how they have zero boundaries.
Or, if it’s online, block!
Absolutely 💯
Narcissists also know how to find someone with a bright light, and they do everything in their power to try to dim it.
@Sigma Blade They read you and grab it at the first vulnerable opportunity.
Yes, this!
But why? I don't understand that,,,
Absolutely true
Jennifer Hall excatly💯
Don't put up a wall. Put up a screen. That way it lets the breeze come through, but keeps the bugs out. 😉💜
This is an EXCELLENT video! Thank you!
Damn, now that I think of this metaphorically, mind blowing quote. gotta copy paste this somewhere else.
That is a good word analogy I like that I was so gullible and naive I had nothing up to protect me I've learned to do some boundaries and it certainly has helped and I had to develop the skill to keep my boundaries up cuz I so wanted to lay them down and help people and love them.. and I would always put myself in a compromise position.. God bless you
You believe everyone is good: this is what ruined my life.
Same I always try to see the best in people, and they end up dragging me down, yet I still try to say maybe the had a rough life. It's so hard because I want to love them but don't want the abuse.
Yes we want to believe that but we end up projecting our goodness on to these people but now I realise that it’s not coming back
Nail on the head!
mysticpizza02 wowww...true...I love mystic pizza
..the movie and the pizza!!!
BQ: I walked away from someone who is just that her name is Hilary Mary Courage! She is really nasty and I kept my distance from Narcissist!
I kept her away from me...
I am an empath. The first step in healing and getting to know yourself. Kinda like admitting you're an alcoholic. In this case, I am an empath. 36 and a half years married to a narcissist. Divorced 5 years ago. The inner peace is priceless, my love of animals is great. I trust animals more than I do people. Life is beautiful. Everyday a blessing.
Thank you for sharing Annette. This gives me hope that I will continue to recover after 23-25 years with a narc who is the child of a narc. Absolutely exhausted myself trying to make the Union work. Did not really know about being a Empath until about 15-16 years in and didn’t start understanding narcissism until about 18-19 years in. Game changer but wish I had known about it and understood 30 years ago. I would have made very different decisions. But that PEACE thing is REAL. SO VERY GRATEFUL to find myself within the rubble and rise up in PEACE. THAT ALONE, is worth the entire ride.
I am good with dogs and birds i am an impath and now im trying to find out how the heck a narc got a hold of me anad sucked my life out of me ...I almost ended myself back there but im back now cheers everyone..Glad i had you guys
Same. I trust animals more. 😌
Thank you so much for this comment. Yes i agree that we have to see ourselves for who and what we are and take accountability.
I just left a relationship and I feel so calm. Three years and although he wasn’t a narcissist his family members were. I escaped. I now am alone with my 5 cats. It’s a lot at times but for the first time in years I feel like I can breathe.
I almost married a narcissist - HIS OWN FAMILY talked me out of marrying him. If that's not a red flag, I don't know what is!
My Narcissist Ex's Sister told me she was cheating on me. What a wake up call !!!
You dodged a bullet, im on the path to healing from the abuse. I'm finally mustering the courage to open up share my story. I'm hoping I can share my on my channel soon 💛
@Rafaela Rodrigues - yes, I missed that red flag too. Uuugh. No more. Stay strong my fellow empaths! Hugs to all here.
You were very blessed
Omg bless you.....
We NEED to spread this message of what emotional abuse looks like!
SPREAD NARC AWARENESS!!!
They own the government. u would have to kill a lot of people.
I’m a male empath and I’ve attracted many narcs over my years. My siblings are pathological liars and narcs. My ex’s were narcs too. They zero in on you because you give freely with no expectations in return. Emotional vampires. I almost took my life in my early twenties because of all the emotional draining. I found God and started building a solid foundation. Videos like yours has helped tremendously.
Proud of you. Keep looking to God for help and he will surely help you get through 💚
What you have to know is how evolved you are now. It’s never easy, sounds like you have come through with flying colors! Well done young man.
Glory To GOD!!!
I will remember you in prayer.
You’re not alone, bud. I learned so much from Stephanie since close to the beginning that I was able to get out of a highly narcissistic relationship and continue studying my identity as an empath. I’ve used many channels and articles over the past 2 years to learn the most about myself. Keep going, press forward, life is grand!!
Yea don’t forget the empaths true mission is to pass beyond that belief that your unwanted, (fragmented by your internal critic? Be aware everyone of us is suppose to be as one, although that’s not the true eternal goal, you have to find your path towards the idea that’s called curiosity, instead of what do you want? Which is a lower form of existence..but that’s okay if you’re not ready for now), it is to get in touch with other empaths who are aware, educate and move your soul beyond external beliefs (the toxic influence should not depart yourself from what you are born as) and towards that part why you are born as an empath in the first place, your beliefs will not ever stop. Divine bless yourself every day back into that light, your path will follow.
I was once told: "Don't expect people to treat you like you would treat them."
Fortunately for me now, I am now with people who are nice, pleasant and friendly towards me.
A narcissist will make you doubt your good qualities.. kindness, nurturing, generosity, dependable, responsible. You may have been told you had these qualities your whole life. You may have once had a wonderful sense of humor. All of these qualities are twisted into negative qualities.... control, lack of boundaries, insensitivity, selfishness. The frustration and anger from the gas lighting, projection, denial and crazy making leave you feeling extremely depressed, anxious and depleted. This is where I find myself.
M FWC - I hope you find the strength to stand up for yourself if not walk away from that toxicity
M FWC yes I was a sweet child and my mom told me I was cruel. She wore me down for years thinking I was bad. But she disguised herself as my friend.
Bingo! And I feel empty and numb half the time, from the stress of it all! I'm learning alot from these videos, but it's a lot to take in! Feels good to know that there are others who can relate. Wish I'd know about all of this, YEARS ago!
As soon as they begin manipulating me I boot them... No time wasters is my moto
@M FWC: I do think it's important to note that codependents often times DO have lack of boundaries and this is precisely why narcs are drawn to such people. They can drain them dry. It's important to learn to say no when necessary and identify these narcs right away.
I worked on myself for 3 years, built a happy life, didn’t NEED anyone but WANTED someone, have amazing intuition, and still attracted someone with these toxic attributes
Darkness is attracted to light. They want to steal your light.
RIP! Too relatable...
Toxic people are toxic people regardless of who you are. Nothing to do with who you are.
It's not your fault a toxic person comes into your life, however You are responsible with what you do about it.
Exactly !
I had an acquaintance about whom I kept thinking, "She really didn't mean that". After enough of those events you start thinking, "Yes, she did".
Yep. You can torture yourself that it’s about you. But they may have been abused by their mom, and you happen to resemble their mom. In one sense it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
🦋♥️🙏
I agree. 👏
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t an empath. Sometimes I love being an empath.
All in all it’s extremely draining because I can feel everyone’s feelings on an extreme level. I feel so tired at the end of the day.
I do think that a great majority of "empaths" are people who grew up surrounded by narcissists and learning that they are insignificant, meaningless and easy to discard so they tend to throw their lives at the feet of others hoping that their love and boundless loyalty will gain them the love they never received as children.. Also empaths don't have the self love or confidence to need or even feel comfortable receiving love.. I know it, because I am an empath. I said "no more" 2 years ago and now I'm putting myself first, ALWAYS
This is pretry much the same conclusion I've come to about my empathetic issues. I have definitely been guilty of throwing my loyalty at people hoping to get the love I feel I didn't get as a kid. Now that I can see where this issue comes from I can start to work on it in a way that can actually help me get to the other side. Great insight!
Agree and have similar situation .. soemoen I wanted to help people more than necessary
this is spot on!!!
I can't relate to this as an empath. I think it's different for every person. For me, it's definitely that I can imagine myself in their shoes, and think of how much the situation they're going through must hurt them. As a result, I try to protect them from emotional pain by providing what they need. It's crazy, because you can really improve exponentially at establishing boundaries, but then suddenly one day you realize you let one slip in once again. I guess it's hard to not just accept "hurting people," and view them with a critical eye? Sigh.
Good for you !! I’m doing the same
I wish I’d known about the term, “empath” 10 years ago. It would have saved me a lot of grief, time and energy. Very well done presentation BTW.
yes,narcissists like nice people so they can manipulate them easily.
My last name is Wendell. Lol
And if you reject them, they don't like that too well.
yeah.It makes them feel weak.
Exactly
To my same empathetic people...just put a limit in everything you do. Always in between, be balance. Like be good (well it's natural to us).,but don't be stupid too. Love you all💜
Make a list of 50 things you're proud of about yourself... Yes, 50. It'll help you nail down your identity so you can't be told who you are by someone who can't see you
I like this idea! 😉
Great! Idea
This is soo true thanks so much
LegzFallOffGirl 🧡👏🏽🧡
Great idea
I was an empathy all my life and all my resources were sucked out of me by sociopaths, narcissist and cluster-b personalities. You’re being SUPER generous when you mention that they often will fake superficial apologies!
Almost all the ones I met become hostile and indignant when I finally called them out.
And since they had obsoletely NOTHING invested in the relationship, they grabbed everything they could and just walked away with an evil “ I got over” smirk on their faces!
It’s a bit late now in my life however I have learned the grandest of lessons!!
As an empath, it is so easy to get addicted to a narcissist. They know exactly how to manipulate your good traits to their advantage. I've suffered for years because the addiction is so hard to escape. A very good presentation Stephanie, I found this helpful.
Good thing i identified my friend as a narcisist as soon as he tried to get close to me so i build up a wall and i agree that narcisist is so addictive because of their charm and pretention. Good thing i am aware about how they works coz if not i will be suffering right now.
Boundaries are an empath's best friend. Going into 5D, we need to couple love with wisdom. Healthy boundaries are the best way to do this.
For a narcissist to be happy, two conditions have to be met.
One, they regularly need a victim to hurt.
Two, they have to get away with it. (They require being regarded as still good, fine people because they would never hurt anyone willingly, or nobody else knows they like to hurt people).
YES!
Absolutely agree on this.
Very well said.
Very very accurate..The cover they so expertly and pathologically believe. They are also actors as they know how much fooling they have under their belt..THIS can IF you fall for one of their stunts..subtle or bigger is something to make you doubt yourself..or erase you..hurt your being. Presence. My awareness is helping me..and my higher self or G-d..and nudges to help me know HEY. .that was a STINKER😆😁😁
you literally described my mother.
MPB Brunson You are absolutely right hun!!! He is very miserable. In fact, it’s a shame that he can’t even realize that he’s the cause of his own problems!
Being an empath has taught me about myself that I must be very careful at all times who I am choosing to enter my life, I am more careful!
“It’s not about trusting other people, it’s about learning how to love yourself and trusting Yourself.” Beautifully stated. That really is the crux. We can’t care for others if we don’t care for ourselves. Thanks for posting this video. The empath-narcissist dynamic is very well-explained.
👏
I'm watch your videos to keep up, and refresh my memory.
Your right, won't let no abusers in my life.
I am an empath and I have been raised by a narcissistic mother that was grooming me for taking abuse from people, to the point where destroyed my relationships. My boyfriend and father of my child have started treating me the same way she did after moving in after a couple of months, which means that he has a narcissistic tense. But it's working progress to finish healing, finding your videos has helped me start that.
You hit the nail on the head. Often abuse takes place because we don’t know what to look for and like you said, empaths always see the best so it’s hard to equate certain behaviour as ‘abuse’.
Often, when I’ve recognised abuse in relationships I told myself I was being too picky and judgemental and just ignored the red flags.
I’m now learning to love myself, know my value and set boundaries.
Yes! And I'm having a really hard time knowing what to do, INSTEAD of doing what I've done! I wish there was a "group" for this, where I live. Or someone who could try to explain me to my Mother. Lol!
Janelle Bryan....Me too!!
Janelle Bryan do you want to share how you go about doing that? Like how do you go up to somebody and ‘set’ boundaries?
loveisforever hmm you don’t go up to someone and set boundaries per say. First you have to know what you are willing to tolerate in terms of how someone speaks to and treats you. That is your boundary. If they cross that line ie mistreat you or speak inappropriately, you either have to confront them about it or realise that it’s time to walk away. Hope that helps.
You said it! Boundaries are especially important.
What's worse is that when you confront these narcissists about their abusive behaviour, it's like a shock to them . It's as if they don't even know that are narcissistic lol. But deep down they do
Yup, then gaslighting comes into picture that you are over reacting. Making you feel that you are the problem as you are an over reactor. 😪. Its extremely exhausting.
I live alone with 7 dogs. I'm officially broken and have given up on other people. I find that I'm much happier adjusting to life without toxicity than taking the chance being around people who especially nowadays are really self-entitled and narcissistic.
two rescue cat-loving pitties and two rescue pittie-loving kitties are my fur family...I will always feel safe with all animals, the humans are the ones to be vetted xxx best to you
Love it.
That’s the problem we are all narcissists some just worse than others...
💯
Well humans are social creatures and need human interaction! You posted this a year ago so I hope you found some healthier relationships
From personal experience with narcissists, and from getting out of relationships with them, I can say that the problem with narcissists is US. When we’re healthy, whether we’re empaths or not, narcissists perceive our inner self-worth, self-love, and boundaries and don’t even come close to us. We instinctively repel them. If we have to work with them, they keep their distance. They know who they can pray on and who they can’t. Narcissists tend to have a fragile ego. People who are whole and emotionally healthy scares them away. Take your focus away from the narcissist in your life and focus on you-healing your inner child.
Pay attention to a person's patterns over time and your intuition and you will live a wonderful life if you don't stand for anyone who oversteps your boundaries
Thank you so much for sharing, this is very helpful, after been used and hurt so many times in the past years, I finally started to understand ppls game and how they try to manipulate me. I suffered a lot, even seen a psychologist for almost a year. I thought everyone was just like me until this year I realized ppl see you as themselves, the person you’re in other peoples eyes are not you but themselves. other people that’s sad, but that’s human being. I hope all the kind people can learn to spot and avoid the NPDs ASAP. Protect your time and energy ❤
Healing is the key. Getting free of narcissists involves healing childhood trauma. Unmet childhood needs are common and can be healed, through accepting and taking care of yourself. Loving yourself, more than needing another person, is the key to walking away from anyone who harms or hurts you. Realising that you don’t truly need anybody, because you are an adult who can meet your own needs, is powerful and can transform your life. Anybody can do this. Thanks Stephanie Lyn, for speaking up about your experiences and helping people on their journey.
I've been there, now I closed doors for so many people in my life and I'm fully focussing on myself.
I was an empath and co-dependent to the max. Then the pain of being used and abused became too much. Then I turned to working hard to deepen spiritually and work on and develop and ask for my relationship with my Creator who knows me inside and out. And slowly over many painful, really lonely years spent confronting this issue, I slowly pulled out of this pattern. I'm better now but have to stay vigilant every day. (Please don't think that I'm saying I was a perfect person. I'm not. But I was misguided willing to override myself and my basic needs and give everything I had away, including my $$, to others who didn't deserve or need it. I don't do that anymore.) We all can heal. God bless you all.
That's me right now give and give
I stopped thinking all people were good after dating a narcissist and realizing they had this disorder. Now I know to gather information about someone first. Knowing that not all people are good was hard to accept but it helps stop toxic people from coming into your life.
empaths need to dive into spirituality if they haven't already, and STAY AWAY from alcohol (spirits)... your welcome
By spiritual, what exactly did you do, or would you reccomend. I know a weird question. Lost my dad in aug, it was really heavy for me. I was the only one at his side with his wife that was wtealing his meds. stuck inbetween a lot of chaos and I've always been what this video nailed in on. Hope you have a nice day/ life lily.
SilkyJay86 i think by spiritual he meant meditation , yoga , breathing exercise , reading books about personal growth outdoor workout And sleep more and yes try to stay away from alcohol cuz that will boost ur depression mode even more!
Thank you victor
I think a good way to channel empathetic energy is also through volunteering and giving yourself to causes.
@@silkyjay869 Try Matt Kahn dear
Thank you for the validation I desperately needed. After my 3rd toxic relationship in a row, I am trying to figure out what is wrong with me. This has given me some light from the dark place I am in.
Yes that's very true I'm an empath and I stayed for 13 years in a marriage I knew he had a very bad childhood and I really felt bad for him I wanted to make it better not realizing you can not fix these people
Doreen this is spot on. I give you credit for leaving, I know it's something that takes a lot of courage.
I try to keep in mind that I can love (from a distance) but I no longer need to be involved. Too much of my identity was being jeopardized being with someone so toxic.
We all deserve true love, not something disguised as it!!
God bless 🙏
Free a decade, I’ve realized I have to stop fixing broken monsters.
That's how narcissists prey on your empathetic side. They make you feel sorry for them ! That's how they take advantage of you
That’s true. We feel so much empathy that we’re blinded by our own love. We think we can love away their pain.
They tell the same sub story.
Everything you said in this video was absolutely the best advice. It's NOT just knowing about narcissistic abuse, or how to spot a narcissist, it's ALL about finding a way to love yourself so much that no one can break that love. You have set boundaries and stick to them. You respect yourself, you won't tolerate any form of abuse again and have the strength to leave a relationship, should red flags appear. I've been involved in 3 relationships with both narcissists and a true psychopath. I have learned so much and am on the path to self discovery and self love. It's not easy, but I'm doing the work daily and feeling better about me, slowly but surely. I am far from where I want to be, but I have faith that I WILL get to a place in my life where I'm strong and love myself more than ever before.
I'm a empathy daughter, and my mom is for sure narcissist 😭
What the story with that? What can you do
me too
Hannah F my father is
Me too Hannah, love, light, and prayers sent your way because I feel your pain
Interesting Hannah F..only a very STRONG SOUL "would choose 2 be born into that lesson"..hard one! Choose not 2 get into "victim mood"..just get out..WISE..U dont have 2 have contact with ANY family (OR humans in general) IF they misstreat U in any spiritual mental OR physical way..BUT..if U are WISE..U alreathy KNOW ;)
Alot of physical Distance from toxic people helps so much cause it helped me ❤😊
Very beautifully explained! Many people don't know that they are going through abuse from a narcissist. Because they know something is off about someone or situation but they ignore that intuition. They should build and work on themselves mentally first to tackle any type of narcissist. Thanks for the great video 🌷
Even if you are healed, I think someone who is narcissist does can find a way (may you have a weakness for a special period) to manipulate you slowly and artisticly. Then you have to notice the signs and go away.
We are not always that strong and confident!!
The best video ever!!! Thank you so musc!
Facts
Thank you for this! I think as empaths we’re also able to sense negative energy and ulterior motives. We should use that as an asset to guard our hearts
Boundaries are so important when it comes to being highly sensitive and being an empath
I'm an empath, who recently cut off my narc-ex. Its a scary stage, focusing on self-care and enjoying life on my own! I should hope that I'm a more educated empath now but I take it that we need to develop our lives and selves to the point of 'not needing' anyone and coming from a place of abundance - rather than lack. Many thanks for your videos and helping me identify further where things could improve and pick better partners!!!
Sian Williams I hope you’re doing well 🧡
That part about healing inside and setting boundaries not just being able to recognize narcissism really resonates. Working on it.
I am so glad I found you! You have inspired me to really work hard on self-love and how to trust my instincts. I broke up with an emotionally-charged man who was extremely selfish before Christmas. I realize now I cant make excuses for bad behavior and decided being alone is best so I can learn to love myself again and find what makes me happy. Me happy- not another individual ❤️
Loretta can you guide me to the help or advice you found please?
Vanessa Riordan - from Stephanie!
@@imadodgerfan2475 Thanks Ill listen to many more of her videos. Im trying to find my grounding again.
Vanessa Riordan You will, girl. Many blessings! ❤️
@@Whisperbutterfly look up videos/google self respect, self love, self work (this last one is good to know yourself and heal trauma). That's help me (I've done other search and soul searching stuff like exercise and eating healthy, meditation, and so on)
I love being an empath. It has been extremely rough and very painful because I am codependent and I have loved several narcissists. I have a child with one, however I am learning how to love myself, slowly, one day at a time. It is hard sometimes but it is a gift to be so caring and loving, there are just many tools I have yet to learn. Looking forward to the journey. Grateful for the process.
You can be an empathetic and not be co-dependent.
That is so very me and narcissists hate that lol! Hahaha! I now enjoy the hatred tho. It used to bother me. Now I gladly expect it! I refuse to not be empathetic. I'm intentionally giving to a fault. But once I smell cheese, I sit back and watch them walk into their own trap. It's the fun part! And I get to keep my empathetic friends! I win! 💃 Best of both worlds! Lol!
Becky Queen ...and definitely nit codependent. I do not like codependency in others.
I'm very co dependent but I'm working on it
Facts I’m definitely a loner & don’t stick around long for ppls behavior but by the time I leave it’s been way over due
It's so sad that you go throughout your entire life deeply caring about the feelings of others that you end up attracting those who want nothing more than to destroy you and completely disregard your feelings. Like wtf is wrong with our genetic makeup as humans to even have that be a thing?
I have this problem I need to fix it
Empaths feel a lot of different emotions, my mom is actually a narcassist, for a long time i was mad at her for the way she treated me after my grandmother died, she spent her life drinking and losing her jobs but i broke away from it and left the money my grandmother gave me to my sister that lives with her, empaths are very giving too and not easily bought by money, thats why people feed off them but if i can break free of it then anybody can do it. Its all about will power and putting your foot down when people cross your boundries.
I am an empath and one of the key things that I realized is that narcissists and empaths are two sides to the same coin, meaning, the root of our behavior stems from the same underlying cause: insecurity. It is only that we have two opposing strategies to deal with it: one to care and get as close as possible and one to not care and to pull away (like anxious and avoidant attachment theory). No wonder we attract one another. That realization has made me realize that narcissists are not simply evil beings and I am not just a kind-hearted victim, as that narrative takes away my personal responsibility for my flawed strategy to deal with my insecurities. Furthermore, as there will always be narcissists in the world as they will not have the self-awareness to realize that they themselves are the problem, it's up to me and me only to protect myself against that by dealing with my insecurities. Best of luck to anyone trying to deal with their insecurities.
I am very emphatetic but still With self esteem so i avoided a relation With a narcisist, congrats to me
Diana Busila not the same thing but well done.
Yesss bn doing well with that, they are everywhere
Omg I found ppl like me 😢my beautifull empaths I thought i was alone love yall
This was and still is me. I was always looking for "the one", the one to love and see me in a way I couldn't for myself. I am learning to be ok with me. Great video Steph!!!
Dannielle Gutzmer you can do it; I did!
Look at it this way, still hard for me but ever considered you are the one?
This describes my situation so well it’s scary.. I’m a co dependent empath for sure. This really reached me. Explains so much. Thank you !
Currently walking through a divorce with my narc husband and he refuses to move out!! Your videos have helped me so much to learn to hold onto myself and not react to his tactics. Thanks so much!
Put healthy walls around yourself to protect you!
I love it ! Now we need to educate everyone about what healthy relationships sb for your self very good info ! Thanks for discussing this
You are doing the right thing Salena! I wish you the best
@Rachel Johnson He's agreed for me to keep the house and for him to keep other assets. It isn't a financial issue. Its a control issue. But thank you for your input. :)
@Rachel Johnson actually since my original post he was forcefully removed and i had to have an order of protection in place.
Stay strong. Do not react to any words or bait. Do not show any emotion and do NOT explain or expand. Keep all communication to one and two word neutral answers, that is it
My inner child was crying watching this video, thank you for helping me so much, I’m working on my self love
Thank you Stephanie for this video, I’ve always attracted narcissists as I’m a people pleaser and empath, so they see me coming, I’m in need of your coaching, your videos are the first step to healing as I practice self love, so thank you 🙏🏾
Simone Bell me, too, on everything u said
As a highly sensitive person/empath, I’m so thankful that my husband is genuine, caring, loyal and loving. God had grace on me. But...man I attract all the narcissistic friends. It’s a very painful experience. Trying so hard to break that cycle and establish genuine friendship. Probably because my mom and sister are narcissistic 🤔💔
Same; my mom is a narc; this is what we were brainwashed from birth to believe is “love.”
Been there, done that. Thankfully, I jumped ship to save my life.
Wow this was incredibly stated and I feel like you just verbalized everything I’ve been working towards and feeling was true all along. I want to share this with everyone! Thank you 🤗
Again, my mom is a narrisist and she is very hard to deal with I can't have a relationship with her nor do I want to.
Sometimes, we have to leave others behind. I left my mom behind, too.
what were the things that she would say or do for you to know that she was one?
Same as me, I'm so tired of all the manipulations and lies
I scrolled the comments specifically for this very situation. It feels so uncomfortable to me, but I'm sure that I need to cut off my mother. It's for my own good and mental stability. 💜
Wow.. I left my whole family. Been on an "island" since I was 19.. it hurts, but it is a freeing experience.
"RESPOND! DON'T REACT"
priceless🥀
This happened to me!!! I’m an empath and am married to a narcissist (he’s not a full fledge BUT he got tons of traits). Thanks for this explanation!
Life as an empath is so hard, so glad that I can find great guidance 🙏
Keep the videos coming Stephanie!!! You are helping me so much!
Love this!! I had a hard time loving myself because I felt it was selfish to only think about you but this is what I needed to hear ❤️❤️‼️
It's amazing people like you that make this world a better place. Thank you for this video!
Thank you so much. I've recently come out of a narcissistic relationship and didn't even realize I was attracting these kinds of people. Now that I know it starts with me and that I can recognize the areas in myself I need to work on, I will be much more aware in the future.
Your talks have contained some of the missing ingredients in my journey of healing and learning to love myself, a journey of over 20 years. I’ll never stop seeking wholeness ; there’s always another layer, something new to discover. You are clear and speak well and I thank you for your time and efforts.
Thank you. I needed this video. I had a "friendship" with someone who I got very close to, but ended up using me. Part of me still sees them as a good person, but their behaviour says otherwise: bullying, gas lighting, ignoring, undermining. They are a narcissist and I need to let go. Wish I wasn't an empath - too many feels, and not just my own.
Watching this video I thought a lot about how I let someone hurt me and how much I still have to work on myself....but I also felt like through educating myself about narcissism and emotional abuse in general,there has been an improvement in my life and that yes,we can change and be able to finally take care and love ourselves . You are helping us a lot,thank you💐
Just found out I'm INFJ after watching vids on the subject omg!!! After watching your video I'm so thankful to know the relationships in my life were all my fault becuz of my INFJ personality I mean you straight up described a relationship I'm in and how this individual hooked me 💯 by being 2 different people...the normal & the nars. I've finally realized last week this person never loved me and they have 0 empathy. I'm working hard to move on...it's a slow process but I'm feeling so much better today that im taking time to take care of my needs. Wow, I can't talk enough about this video. Thank you Stephanie much much ❤️ & respect.
Thank you for raising awareness about this 💜
Everything you're saying is so true that I'm just crying through this😢😢😢. It's as though I'm having a well needed counseling session. I'm single and I've been for a very long time. After being tired of being ill-treated, I had to cut ties with someone. The only problem is there'd be random times I have continues dreams about them or when out of nowhere, they start creeping in my thoughts non-stop, a few days later they contact me. And this has been happening for some time. I haven't may friends. I literally have 4 people who I consider my friends but even with that I have doubts with one and so after, existing the ex friend's life, I'm overly guarded to the point whereby i have a fear or difficulty starting any kind of relationship with people. I've always known from a young age I wasn't like my peers. In fact I didn't like playing outside, I was bullied, it made more sense to be in the company of older people for the conversations that were had made more sense. I suppose one could say I always felt a bit more emotionally mature than kids my age. At the same time I found it hard to make friends cause I felt misunderstood. I even felt like maybe im just a socially awkward person. In my 20s I tried to be a bit more social; having accepted my sexuality i wanted to meet other people of the lgbtq community because I felt somewhat a sense of belonging. That wasn't it at all. If anything I felt out of place so stopped attending lgbtq events, etc.
Now in my 30s I've reverted back to just keeping people at arm's length. Also mostly keeping to myself cause the hurt I've felt over the years is just way too much to have new people bring in their possibly narcissistic traits into my life.
I just want to ultimately break away from this one person, whom I've chosen to part ways with, yet tend to still be drawn to. I can totally ignore them when they try reach out to me for months on end, but I've given in when they are down. And help and give advise but not a maintain communication with them thereafter. I found myself in an emotional pickle recently, so much so I just felt like ending this I feel too much and tired of being overwhelmed. I called this person cause for whatever reason, when we were close they had words of comfort. After feeling better...I don't want to maintain a relationship. But I'd like to break away from this person completely because as much as there's good in them, the bad outweighs the good because I'm dealing with the suppressed emotions of our past relationship.
-sigh-
Thank you!! This was the best explanation of empathy and codependency that I’ve ever heard. I am an empath but I am not codependent. That’s why I was able to leave my narcissist ex husband 4 months after we got married.
Don’t allow and accept the negatives that breaks boundaries on you. Do not give that person the time of day. What they also do is twist the truth from their own faults. Let them continue to complain and bad mouth you as long as you do not stay. They will never realize what they did wrong. Healthy dating is maintaining your walls and boundaries and still have a great time. Keep the flow going, watch, and communicate- always. Don’t let repetition get in place. Leave when it’s just enough!
It was hard for me for many years having a family member that is a narcissist. but I am no longer swayed by that type of person . Healthy boundaries is all I will say.
Accurate about me !
This was a light bulb moment.
Often we dont see what it is in ourselves
To address for growth and improvement.
This nailed it for me.
Thanks for the help!
Grateful you took time to make this video.
Upward and onward
Hello do you need help why don’t you try dr oba he was the one that help me get my ex back
Whatzapp
Wow! Stephanie is incredible how the universe brings people or guide you in directions that your meant to hear or do. I'm an empath and have done the work for the past year of self love, and running into your video,assures me that I have made those changes in my life and not ever dealing with a narcissist ever again. Thank you, this is totally true.
Thank you so much for this video; I have finally set a boundary with toxic ppl because I have dealt with my own issues of codependency; I would rather choose independence and be happy with myself moving forward than be stuck in the past with an emotional abuser. I am looking forward to the future and forgetting the past has liberated me and set me free to trust myself. Thank you for the validation with this video.
I LOVED this video, it hit the nail on the head for me in every single thing you said!!! Thank you for this 💗
This type of stuff should be taught in schools, mental health in general. Most people don’t realize this is a thing and it’s real!! The very thing in this video, I’ve gone through in exact! It’s no joke. And its worse when everyone around you is uneducated in the situation. I’ve been being judged for staying in a toxic abusive relationship for so long when this lady has precisely broken down the exact reason why and how I ended up allowing this to go on for so long.
You are so brilliant. The way you spoke about the cognitive dissonance made me have an epiphany, I had been going through this and was so frustrated with it, I could never find a word for what I was feeling and you just summed it up so effortlessly. Everything you said about examining your inner wounds struck deeply with me as well. I don't know how you do it but thank you for being so brilliant and helpful!
Now when I meet someone I don’t really say too much I just listen and observe and don’t really talk much .
My formula.
Same here.
You must be a Taurus ♉️ 😤 the BULL . Hate them!!!
Damn! I needed to hear this! You’re were Spot on! I learned soooooo much about myself of 42 years wrapped up in less than 15 minutes ... im still blown away....I definitely need to work on self love and break the co-dependency with my ex who is a complete narcissist!
This is spot on. Specially the part where you mention having boundaries being more important than to recognize the red flags... I've seen the red flags but because of the lack of boundaries I've ended up hurt. It's a lesson also not to be impulsive with sleeping with the guy very soon since we might get emotionally attached to him. All guys have expectations of getting in your pants. The narcissists will hate that you set a boundary, but the right guy will respect that. Thanks for this video 🙌🏻🌺♥️
It's a 9 to 1 ratio narcissists to empaths, so when a narcissist does prey on you, they don't let go easily, which is why so many of these relationships end in violence. Because there are so few empaths, it's very difficult for them to find each other. So, you end up a very emotionally healthy person living alone with your dog(s) and/or cat(s).
Hahaha. So right.
I have two cats and no relationship. After 3 toxic narcissistic relationships. I am done! :-)
Wow, I actually put on the closed caption and copied about 4 lines into a notepad for a reference ... thank you so much !!!
Thank you Stephanie!💖 I really needed this today. Sometimes even after we feel we've come so far in our healing and have learned to love ourselves again, we still fear that we aren't enough or haven't learned enough to possibly move on and into another relationship. I really cherish the fact that I'm an empath and an HSP, I didn't even know what those things were before my life kind of exploded because of narcissistic abuse, I just thought I was different than most people and extremely sensitive! All the pain and abuse led to a self awareness and acceptance that I didn't even know was possible before. You have really been a huge part of my healing and renewed self-love. This video made me think maybe I am ready to start dating a little and not be so afraid of attracting another narcissist! Thanks again and God bless😊
Well said...
Your channel has been part of my healing self love journey. It's changed my life. Thank you. ❤
I needed to see this video. After 6 years of abusive relationships. This video made so much sense to me. I am a co-dependent empath and I really need to now focus on myself and figure this out. Thank you!! New subscriber 😍
I can tell you just put up with bs cuzz u want to fk them.
Also their toxic nature makes them more attractive cuzz they are less of a btch. Deal with it
I love you.. and I mean this in the most respectful way.. (you just told me my whole love life without even knowing I exist) 😩😢🤦🏽♀️💜 wow thanks this really helps 🤧
I think I'm ambivert, but I'm also a sweet person and people tend to over step my sweetness . I don't like to be mean or ugly and over half the time don't speak my mind as I should and it leaves me irritable and at times angry . Once I reach a point of had enough thought after putting up with it for awhile I explode and let them have a piece of my mind and stand my ground set boundaries and in some situations even disassociated with some. Now I dont see everyone as good I learned through abuse you can't trust everyone and I can feel negative energies coming off some people so strong I had moments I felt drained after talking to them. I so much rather being around positive people which lift you up makes you feel alive..
My situations were with a few family members and few I thought were friends I learned the hard way wasn't real friends.
Learn to love yourself enough to say no and no longer put up with abuse from anyone. Amen
I never knew I was an empath...I just found out I was codependent. Now I’m working on detaching and maintaining boundaries.
Me my whole life! My whole dating life. I really really really needed this video right now. 5 years with a narcissist
Thank you, I need to work on self love ❤😊