Thank you to everyone who was here for the premiere! Here's a little blog post I wrote about the situation if you'd like to know more: www.elenahandtrack.com/single-post/2019/06/02/Why-I-Left-Cambridge-University
Take good care of yourself Elena! You are not alone, many people have your back, and you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for talking about such an important issue and being an example. xx
Take good care of yourself sis, eat well and sleep well. Don't panic, Spirituality helps to deal with depression most often. God help you and be positive. Also I will thank you for sharing this with the world so that others can be get help too from your similar experiences. 👍🏻🌸😘
How did you overcome?? I think I'm in the same situation from past 3 years... Just nothing going well and I'm having no interest on anything... And it's really getting day by day... People around me doesn't understand and they want me to cheer but I really don't know how?? It would be helpful if you can advise anything for me..
I think you didn't learn to ballance your emoticons yet but dont worry these suffering will make you a more refined person. Dont you know how gold shine it shine because it purifies by fire. Once I was also depressed but I overcome and I have a beautiful vision for future. This vision inspires me and it comes and groom in me during my depression. I read some beautiful spiritual book and practice alot of science exercises because it gave me a peace little bit but I took long time to understand them.I was completely unfocused as compared to my peers. If you need I may suggest some books to you I don't know if it works for you or not. But I would like to help anyone who is suffering like me. Jitendratiwari11@gmail.com This is my id. Well I dont speak too much about my dream but this suffering will decide connection of your neurons which ultimately develop your personality, your interest, your direction of thinking. It happens with every one . I was also doing alot of meditation at that time. It helps me alot. If you are too much emotional and thought about more than three four things simultaneously , it happened with me too. I would suggest you to live alone but meet with friend on evening time. There are so many things.
well, the first video i saw from you was the one where you vlogged a day in cambridge, going up at 4am in the morning, studying the whole day, having time with friends and looking perfect all the time. I was wondering how to have such a nice life, beeing so motivated and always looking good. So i wasnt prepared for this video, have seen the vlog yesterday again and it kinda motivated me. Now i just realize that even the people making a good impression do have huge problems. I am so sad that you had to go through all of this. hope you feel better now, love love love
This video is SO IMPORTANT. The first video I watched, before this one, was “a day in the life of a Cambridge student” and it all seemed so distant and not relatable at all for me. Now this... this I can relate. I’ve been there. I’m still there sometimes. I also had to take a break from uni, struggles with depression and anxiety, and all of the things shown here. This is a real problem that deserves way more recognition.
I feel very sorry for her. I also watched the exact same video right before this one. I'm kinda confused tho. Wasn't that vlog posted about half a year after this one? Didn’t she leave in the end? I do not intend to be disrespectful or anything. I'm just a little confused.
I'm also a law student and struggle since my first term with this issue. I skip classes because i'm afraid of meeting people, but i also don't wanna be alone. I get panic attacks for no reason and can't sleep because of my negative thoughts. I'm lying to my family, but i'm struggling, i'm burned out and under so much pressure! But i'm ashamed of taking a break because i don't want my mates to be ahead of me at university.
I have been in a similar situation. If you can, please seek professional help, ie a psychologist. It is probably miserable now but with some help it can be overcome. You can and you deserve to have a good life ❤
Detto. I have been struggelling with depression and OCD for a while, and its freaking hard to keep up with my studies, and have a good mean to stay financed by the government. Not to mention social aniexity.
😐 do you hear yourself? Your struggling in law school but skip classes 🤨 how does that sound. Your afraid of meeting people? You’ve meet people all your life. You don’t have to talk to those people. You just making excuses to feel sorry for yourself, when every m problem you mention is fixable. Literally.
We are so proud of you for prioritising your mental health and I’m truly wishing you all my love and support 💜💜 you will come back from this so much stronger xx
Elena, please know that your are a brave and courageous young woman who is taking the right step; for now your major is taking care of yourself! School will always be there, various life paths and opportunities will be at your fingertips, choices will always be offered when you think doors have been shut. But far more important is health, a truly happy smile and laugh, and your fans have your back too! Have a beautiful summer and get well! Post when you want, not because you feel you have to. Hugs to you! Embrace the journey of healing. 🌹
I understand you 100%. I decided to move and go far from home because I wanted to study at a good university. But since I moved it was all horrible, I didn't like the classes, I couldn't make friends, all I wanted to do was staying in bed all day. I hadn't the excitement of starting a new life, in a new city, with new people. So I decided to left University and came back home. Since then I'm happy, and I remember those days at university as something horrible. From this experience I have learnt that there is a resolution to everything. I'll start, again, University this October, near home, in an environment that suits me more.
I’m in a similar situation but don’t know if I’m capable of going back to uni since I went from taking one term at a far away uni to community college and I’m not sure if other unis will see me as a failure when I decide to apply after a year
I studied 4 years in Cambridge and had experienced the biggest rollercoaster of emotion there.When I was in Cambridge I feel stressed and lonely the moment when I got back to that city. You have to look at the bright side in there all the time. Also there are good consultancies there, they are of great help. Depression is very very common in Cambridge. Please come back and carry on once you feel better. Best luck for you.
Similar feeling, academic atmosphere in Cambridge is too competitive. Everytime I go home diring holiday. I feel like I am a different person much more confident.
I left 11 years ago. And although looking back I remember the best 3rd year ever (the year I finally settled down and enjoyed the place), I can sort of remember how bad the 1st and 2nd year were. I was lucky I had amazing friends, and I am so happy I survived it and I can say I am a Cambridge graduate.
@davy boy I did medical sciences. Went off to London for clinical school. Studied much less but did much better 😂😂 I tell people that its alright if you don't get into Cambridge. It might be a blessing in disguise
I must say I was always jealous of the students of Ivy League universities or Cambridge, Oxford, as I am gifted but also late diagnosed with ADHD and not from the right family or the right country and never really had much support for studying. I struggled a lot and switched universities and anytime I was reading a blog or watching a video from one of those perfect schools I just thought, it wasn't fair and they were all so lucky. But then I found numerous videos from these schools of people talking about mental health problems and the preassure to be perfect all the time and I realised that nobody really has a perfect life, there is always something. I was happy to see that you actually went back.
Well, I think you did the right thing to be open about it, and you will be returning to Cambridge. I was a Pembroke NatSci between 2009-2011. I ended up failing my second year. If you fail your exam, they don't let you retake. I come from a Chinese family, we are far less open about our feelings. So my problem was never addressed, and I ended up dropping out. Anyway, if you ever experienced mental health issue again in Cambridge, try and get it sorted before the exams, my understand was that if you take the exams, the results will count, and you are not allowed to retake. At least that was the case 10 years ago. I ended up switching to do Computer Science in University of York. Now I am doing a PhD in University of East Anglia. But this depression thing has never fully gone away. I have to say not getting a degree from Cambridge was one of the more traumatising thing in my life. I was forced to leave, because I failed my exams. I hope that does not happen to you. I think if you really dislike Cambridge, choosing to leave yourself is better than being forced out. Oh by the way, you are still entitled to CamCard (the alumni card) even if you end up dropping out. :) I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing. I think of it as a good thing. I made some good friends when I was in Pembroke. My name ended up in my Cambridge best friend's PhD thesis, because I helped him out. I know my words probably won't make you feel any happier, all I want to say is that in the worst case, even if you don't end up getting a degree from Cambridge, you definitely would have learnt something. At least I did. I used my knowledge to help out the friend I met in Pembroke for his PhD. I used to visit him twice a year, until he moved to America. Anyway, good luck, feel free to contact me at ff266@cantab.net, if you feel like you need someone to talk to. Yes, ff266 was my CRsID. I feel happy for you, in the sense that you are intermitting. You still have a chance to get a degree from Cambridge. I didn't address my own mental health issue, I ended up dropping out. Well done for being brave enough to talk to people about it and get help. :-) And always remember, your friends are always there for you. The ones who look down at you are not your friends.
@davy boy Hey, bit late but I'm currently in second year doing NatSci. Honestly it is not that different now in terms of expectation and workload, still the degree with the most contact hours (at least in first year with 6 9am's a week) and seemingly the most stressed students. I read your post earlier about chemistry practicals - can relate so much! Last year they were the worst 5 hours of my week, stress levels extremely high throughout every single one since they were all assessed and came out feeling mentally drained every time. Struggled a lot in first year between whether I should study 24/7 just to stay afloat or do I get involved in all the amazing activities on offer and fun things to do in cambridge - and not sleep. Weird times now that we have all been sent home and having remote teaching instead because of the virus. They're even proposing giving us online exams at the moment, though not sure if that will take place for all years or only third years.
I'm really proud of your decision. You have proven to be an intelligent and good human being. Several universities and people have noticed this. Taking this time out will only do you good. The opportunities and the future you worked for will be waiting for you when you are ready. Much love from your subscribers!
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I had that unhappiness in my uni but I realised it wasn’t the course or the uni, it was me adapting to ‘not being top’ at uni and being scared of failing. Once I embraced failing and just trying things it slowly but surely helped me. But it’s really amazing you realised how and why you were feeling that way. As we get older it’s hard to take control of our own health and you made the right choice for you. This is a great video for others.
I keep checking back in here, this has been on my mind ever since I saw it a few days ago. I really hope you're doing alright! I have to admit I was very shocked to see the title, but as long as you're alright and happy with your decisions, that's what matters!
It's unbelievable how strong you are to tell this story of yours, to show yourself vulnerable and thus help others to not fall as deep as you fell. Thank you for your bravery!
Elena. Brave, inspirational and brutally honest. You words will help so many other students who are struggling and those who will now appreciate that they can help their friends. Most of all, I hope you get all the help and love you need to be able to return to your studies and fulfil your dream to become an outstanding human rights lawyer. I wish you all the best and hope that you can move away from the dark times and into the sunnier side of life. Vivien x
elena, so much respect for making this video. I've had to undergo a fairly similar journey this year, and I have to say there is some comfort in knowing I'm not the only one.
Your feelings matter, it is admirable how you are brave to share this and talk openly about it. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal video with us. We are here to support you, much love!
Honestly I think you are quite strong because if I was in your position I would have never been able to keep myself together that long. #All our feelings matter
Elena, it has been a pleasure to get to know you from not realizing it was you sitting next to me in Michaelmas term to then discovering we were both law youtubers. You are kind and your videos are amazing. I hope you have a happy and prosperous life whatever you do and know that we are all behind you every step of the way xxx
for me, university is something that anyone would be excited and grateful of. that this thing happens to you is very, very, sad. I really hope that when you go back you feel better and optimistic, I know you will, because cambridge is a magical place, and do not blame yourself on feeling like this. you have all of my kindness and support!
💖as someone who has battled with depression in the past and still with anxiety (though a lot better than it was) I really feel for you. Very brave video and one that will help many people. Hope you receive all the help you need. 💝
Hi sweetie ! I went through something similar during the years of my bachelor's degree in interpreting and translation... I used to stay at the university like 9 hours a day. Lessons were so heavy and exams too hard to be passed easily..there were classmates so competitive and selfish, all seemed to be a TV show with a final prize. Go for your way, study, think about your future, you won't be a student forever ! Life is not all about exams, mean classmates and pressure.
I went through the same thing when I studied abroad for almost four years, depression, anxiety and crying were controlled my life, I was unhappy because of lots of difficulties at dormitory and mean students and so on, but one day, it was stage four and I was extremely exhausted with everything, while I was crying over quiz which I got 0.5 out if 10, my doctor told me look life is not all about studying and college, life includes much more things than you've ever thought about. She said there are lot's of levels in life which you are going through, collage exams don't worth a cry, you know at that time I didn't got it all. But now it has been a year I've graduated and I realized collage is something never worth to be concerned about, and it doesn't matter in which situation you are, it will pass just be patient and believe that god directs to get you out from difficulties, you ought to believe and trust in him, that's enough for you!!
Elena this has to be one of the best videos you have made in your channel !! I'm so sorry you have gone through this i wish you the best recovery and hopefully you go back with a much better mindset and you finish your degree feeling happy and proud about yourself!!. Love you soo much !! you are honestly such an inspiration.
Really happy you're getting the support you need and deserve. I empathise with you completely. I'm in a very similar position, 1st year MMLer at Cambridge who intermitted this year also due to depression. I really feel you. It's going to get better. I hope it all works out for you. x
Hi Elena Just wanted to tell you about my similar experience. I was in my second year of Law studies at university when I experienced severe depression and a deep dive into my illness. My depression is biological (side-effects of Malaria medication when I went on Holiday to Mozambique). I ended up changing my course completely and now I am a qualified teacher in English studies. I am completing my Law studies part-time. At that time, it was the best decision I could have made. Yes I regret having to study part-time now but for my health it was the best decision I could have made.
oh my gosh elena my heart broke when i saw the intro 😭❤️ sending you so much love bb thank u for being so strong and also for sharing your story this is such an important topic
Elena - you seem to be a truly incredible person and I wish you all the best in this process. Health and well-being always have to come first! We are all rooting for you to get better, but do not rush the process for anything. Take your time, read a book, drink some tea. xx
I have a cousin who is now studying law and she once talked to me about this feeling of burn-out. I was expected to pursue law too but instead, studied Masters in Philosophy of Islamic Politics at Indonesia. I sometimes feel burn-out too especially being alone and far from my country (Philippines) but I keep on struggling with the jobs and studies cause there is a reason I chose to study far and not commit to what my family expected me to. Maybe we just need time to pause and reflect. Im new to your channel and I immediately fell in love with your productivity which I need at this moment (inspiration). Whatever your decision is, we support you. Stay strong.
Hi Elena, I was exactly like you. I was struggling with depression even thaught it looks like I had not reason to be sad. Some times, your mind tells you that's you are not going well but you won't listen because your scared of what your friends and familly would react. I hope you are heald. Without mental health we are nothing. All my support❤
I relate to this so much. I go to university out of state and it’s not too far away from my home (about 4 hours away) and I was initially excited to go. But after a series of bad events and horrible luck with roommates for a year and a half, I fell into a pretty deep depression since I didn’t have any real friends there. I fought it for a year and a half while getting grades I never thought I’d be able to get. But over the holiday break, I decided to stay home and just take care of myself and make sure I’m happy and healthy before I venture out again. Mental health is so important as a student and it’s something that always needs to be addressed when things don’t feel quite right. I’m glad your taking time to help yourself and making decisions that are the best for you. Stay strong! ^-^
This made me cry sooo much. I was depressed when I was 14. I isolated myself from all my friends, I quit all 7 of my sports, i skipped school as often as I could, my grades dropped, I didn’t care about anything and had no interest in anything which is a feeling much worse than those words sound on paper. Whenever my parents tried to talk to me I’d scared at them because I didn’t want anyone to know it acknowledged that I was depressed. I thought there was something wrong with me that I couldn’t let others know about. Everyone stared at me as I went from the intelligent happy popular girl to a girl with low grades and no friends. I didn’t know how to hide it from everyone in my year group (140 people) I felt so horrible and never told anyone which was dumb
You're not ungrateful ! You shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed about your decision ! You did what was right for you and as someone whose also been in that position I understand you. Take time off and find yourself ! Your mental health is most important ! Take care xx
Elena just know that everything that happens, happens for a reason. It's all part of a plan and you will soon look back at this video and know that what happened, happened for a reason. Stay strong! I wish you all the best. Everything will be just fine.
Hi Elena, thank you for posting this. I'm at university and was doing fine, then suddenly in 2nd year depression hit me like a truck. For months and mo ths I cried myself to sleep and kept it to myself until one night I couldn't take it, I called me parents at 1am begging them to bring me home early. Thankfully the understood and they did. Sometimes a break is all we need xx
This is so relatable, I am on a break for my degree too, I got accepted by a very good university but I was not happy. I could not go to uni, I could not do anything, I missed so many lectures, tutorials... I want myself to get better but I just can’t.... as a perfectionist, this is such a pain😢 I feel you completely, you are not alone.
Hi Elena, I have started following you very recently and I am honestly so so proud of you. I just got done with my first year of law school at Edinburgh University and I have been dealing with the same issues as you. I don't have a lot of people to support me, but I have been trying to get as much help as I can for myself and actively engage in self care. This video is so inspiring. Much more power to you and lots of love. ❤
Babes your mental health and happiness is so much more important than your education! You’ll always have time for that, you’re a smart girl and I’m so sure you’ll make it in life
I looked at your day in life video just before and knew how pretty and glad you were!!!! I never expect this type of thing will happen to you. I stand by you forever and wish you a pleasant journey ahead!!
I’m sorry you had to go through all this Elena, I’m glad you’ve sought support and I wish you all the best, remember there are people that love and care for you and will do anything to help you, and I know it’s hard sometimes to accept help but you need to take it, for you. Your academics can wait but your health can’t! I’ve been in a similar situation before and I know how hard it is, take some time for you and find that passion that is inside of you again! Sending lots of love 💓
I went through the same thing when I studied abroad for almost four years, depression, anxiety and crying were controlled my life, I was unhappy because of lots of difficulties at dormitory and mean students and so on, but one day, it was stage four and I was extremely exhausted with everything, while I was crying over quiz which I got 0.5 out if 10, my doctor told me look life is not all about studying and college, life includes much more things than you've ever thought about. She said there are lot's of levels in life which you are going through, collage exams don't worth a cry, you know at that time I didn't got it all. But now it has been a year I've graduated and I realized collage is something never worth to be concerned about, and it doesn't matter in which situation you are, it will pass just be patient and believe that god directs to get you out from difficulties, you ought to believe and trust in him, that's enough for you!!
This vedio is very important for All the students , even I had been through this chaos same way , I dropped from the university and came home , it made me realy comfortable . Always make sure to take the course that you want to do
I watched your vlog about your day as a Law student in Cambridge, where you looked very self-motivated and now watching at this. Wow...! Such a contrast. This reminds me of myself. I started my studies in the best Law School of one of the most prestigious universities in Latin America (UNAM) with same vibe: enthusiastic, self-motivated. And now, 10 years after entering Law school and 6 of being graduated, I'm an unhappy lawyer who is working very hard to get retired of law environment as I realized through the timeframe between being a law student and work as a licensed lawyer, that I've chosen the wrong career, hence this is not my passion. I understand and support your struggle, and I'm glad you realized what are your priorities and listen to your heart to do what is the best for you, before it was too late, as in my case...
I just can’t express how much I identify with this. I just took a semester off my my university too. I study at what’s considered the best university in my country and in one of the toughest majors to get in, I had excellent grades, an scholarship and was over all doing great academically but I was feeling really miserable. I genuinely started tasking myself with finishing the day or finishing the week and it just felt so tiring. Getting out of bed was a huge task, I didn’t feel like doing anything at all, I stopped doing the things I liked and stopped talking to my friends. Sadly for me, none of those friends talk to me anymore and I’m feeling very isolated. I feel so happy you have such supportive friends! I’m happy you were able to take that decision, which I know feels immensely hard. I wish you all the luck in the world for your return!
Girl make new friends. Meet new people you are youn full of life... life waits for yoi. Do not feel isolated. Do some fun stuff in the weekend. And those so called friends probably see you as a competition and envy you. So make new friends. Enough nice people out there for sure! 😁
I remember feeling this way when I first began the Sorbonne in Paris. I also did some self isolation. I did stick it out though, with the help of some friends and a counselor. I finally finished and I am glad that I did.
I was in a similar situation, moved, got accepted to a famous uni for hs and was in a crisis for the last year. The only difference is that I had no friends and I kept having bad grades even though I am in the highest section and also I had got into many dramas and bullying due to competetiveness. Plus, I had to deal with the judgefulness at home. It was the worst thing. I learned through that experience is to not give a fck at all even though i am still suffering from the developed mental illness (i had this before, though I managed to heal it and it came back once again due to that one year.) And how to manipulate my reality and manipulate other people too sadly. I am proud that we both are getting slowly back in track, as i as well left but not in that way. I completed and got into another school that I hope is good. Lets all love and give ourselves a break. Thank you for sharing your experiences, it will forever inspire us.
Same. I was in a good law school but I got social phobia and I just hated school. So I stopped going for about a year. That year really put things in perspective and I was able to get back and graduate. Now I'm going to do the bar exam soon. Sometimes we need a break😊.
Get well soon! Your health comes first and your degree can wait, what's most important is for you to feel better. This must have been really hard to share but it will definitely help SO many people who will realize that they are not alone and that they shouldn't underestimate things like this. We need to talk about mental health so that people can recognize when they/their close ones are going through something similar, so thank you for doing this. Good luck with everything! xx
Thank you for sharing your experience. It was touching. Unfortunately, tribulations with mental health is becoming more apparent than ever before. I had been at my state premier early college program. I moved into a college dorm with other gifted students at the age of 16. I was on cloud 9. I had everything I dreamed of. I had tuition and books for. I had finally made it to the place I was working towards since middle school. But, second semester hit me in the face. I had burned out from all the advanced college classes. So did my friend group. They all left the program. This is when my depression got really bad. I started getting suicidal, and forced myself to see a therapist. I had no clue what I’d happened to me. It took a long time to stop rejecting the truth. I needed up medically withdrawing at the end of my first year. I am now back at my high school as a Senior. That experience taught me a lot. Sometimes I regret going. Sometimes I feel like a failure. But, I have a more mature mindset now.
Elena, thank you so so much for being honest with us x You're such a strong person for sharing all this:) I'm wishing you all my support and please please please remember not to be too hard on yourself
Oh my goodness. Elena is not really the type to do clickbait so this has me very worried. I hope you are okay and this was a positive decision for you. You are so intelligent and talented, you will succeed in whatever you pursue, but now I have butterflies in my stomach.
I'm so proud of you, since I knew you, you became an inspiration to me. Somedays, I'm a little bit down and I know your videos are here, for me. In some way, you are a support for me and I hope I can do the same for you with my words. I hope you get well soon and I know you will do it because you're really brave. You have our support, always. Thank you for everything. All the love from Uruguay, Romina.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. You are a very talented young woman and your life is so much more than where you are enrolled at college for a few short years. Best wishes in your recovery.
At one time, I left the university after studying there for 2.5 years and realized that it was not mine, although no one could understand me, but it was my choice. I entered another university and spent excellent student years there, while I paid very little attention to my studies directly. I devoted everything to student life. One of the important points was participation in student meetings and conferences. So while studying at Moscow University, I visited India three times, Turkey three times, as well as Spain and Sweden. Moreover, we traveled all over the European part of Russia, just participating in various kinds of meetings. I didn't get good grades, but I enjoyed the opportunities that my university gave me, I also went to the pool every day and did swimming with the coach, it was part of our program and played tennis, at the same time my best friend who studied with me refused all this for the sake of good grades. As a result, after graduating from University, we got the same job and I really miss student life. I understand that work will never give me what I had when I was at university. Then I was free, I had everything. I remember my five years as an interesting and wonderful time. And now I have a vacation only twice a year for two weeks and 9 more days of winter holidays when I can go somewhere to relax. The rest of the time I just work, but looking at my friend, who has a diploma with honors, I'm glad that I didn't chase it, that I didn't sit for hours and crammed history and political science textbooks to get an excellent grade. I was mediocre among other students at the university, but my life was filled with pleasant emotions and I would really like to live this life again.
This sounds like a good plan, but might not work if you are an engineering or CS student. I wonder if you can pass the classes without studying, probably you'd have to retake the classes several time until you finally accept the reality and study.
I just want to say thank you for this video. It helps a lot to people in similar situation, when it looks like nothing is wrong. You're in a place you were dreaming about, learning things you were expecting one day to be your profession. And then it all just fell apart for no visible reason. I had quite the same experience. First of all, i live in Russia. I was born in south part of the country in small town, where it is always warm and sunny and it's nice just to be outside (i did not even believe in all these "always cold Russia" steriotypes, because it's different in south regions), but for years i was dreaming about moving to Saint Peterburg, to the city of culture and palaces. And this dream came true, I entered to one of the best University in my country to law department. But since the very first day i was unhappy there, I felt like jurisprudencia is not for me. I'm not talking about study to be too difficult (even if it was though), i just didn't feel I was in a right place, i spent nights doing all of my homeworks and readings and then i could not even sleep, because my heart wanted to be somewhere else so badly. I had really good friends and everything just looked great but from the inside it felt exactly the opposite. I needed sun (I had a lack of vitamine D), I needed a support. Neither me nor people around understoond what was wrong at those moment. My dreams just came true, what I could be sad about? There is actually no big difference about being in another country or just a city, if there is still no opportunity to see your loved ones. I was living 2000 km aways from my family and non-university friends, and every single day was worse. By the middle of the spring I knew if I didn't change anything it was going to end very badly. So I tried to fix it by myself, i transferred to history department, because when I was preparing to my finals at school, history seemed very interesting (i was never that mistaking!) But anyway I never regret this step, even if history disappointed me as well. I'm still alive only because I was brave enough to make this step. My parents never supported me in this decision. It's almost four years passed now, I write my qualification paper and I finally found out what i want to do in my life. It's not history or law obviously, but all this situation was a very helpful experience, even if it still hurts a lot. I just want to say that you don't have to have any visible reasons, everything might seem alright, but if you feel unhappy, if you feel you're not in your place, don't be afraid to leave it all and start your looking again. If you feel a place, where you are, or things you do leads you to depression, run away from it, ask for help. Probably, professional help is needed. Remember, no diploma is more important than you and your mental health. All the best :) (btw sorry for my poor English)
Hi Victoria, hope you're well now! Ваша история почти как две капли воды похожа на мою. Тоже из южного города Волгограда, мечтал переехать в СПб после университета и переехал, прожил 6 лет, работал в богатой айти компании со всеми прелестями и большой зарплатой. Но Питер доконал, стресс от работы в перестал быть равным обменом зарплате, и я вернулся домой в Волгоград. Близкие удивлялись, но в основном поддерживали. Теперь получаю раз в 7 меньше, но зато в Волгограде уже весна, много солнца и я дома. Надеюсь, конечно, вернуться в СПб, но не с этим давлением рабочим. Золотая клетка, чем бы она ни выражалась - престижем, славой, деньгами, амбициями, не стоит того, чтобы идти наперелом себе, в итоге всегда сгораешь. Надеюсь, что сейчас вы справляетесь, и делаете правильные для себя шаги. Ментал хэлс >>> остальное
You know, I feel you. I haven’t been in one of the best universities in the world but I have been in the place where I feel sad with everything I have, even tho, I have everything I need and even more. If you don’t feel happy with where you are then listen to yourself and be honest with yourself, if you don’t feel happy then say “fuck if”, maybe life has something better for you, but what would you prefer!? To give up your happiness or to actually be happy and let go of the things don’t make you feel that way!? You know, one time time I read in a book, “there is the me that is miserable and afraid, and there is the me that is curious and excited. That second me is not a masochist, she’s wise. She remembers that even though I can’t know what will come next in my life, I always know what comes next in the process. I know that when the pain and the waiting are here, the raising it’s on it’s way.”. I feel you are right now in the “me that is miserable and afraid” but you have to let go of it, the second you is curious and excited to know what comes next. Let go of everything, it will probably will hurt at first and you’ll have to be patient to wait and see what’s there for you, but the waiting and pain won’t matter because then it means you are doing the right thing, rise AGAIN!!! Better things will come in your life!!! 😉-> BE HAPPY, NOT MISERABLE!!! 😌❤️
Thank you so much for making this video! I went through a similar thing when I was 15 and had to drop out of high school because of it. It was an incredibly hard thing to deal with and a video like this would have helped me feel less alone. Hope things continue to improve for you, and from experience, they definitely will. 💜
Ich hoffe so sehr dass es dir bald besser geht, und finde es richtig mutig dass du dir Hilfe gesucht hast. Du wirst deinen Weg gehen! Das Video ist der Hammer, so gefühlvoll und echt, meine Depressionen in der Schulzeit und Beginn des Studiums haben sich genauso angefühlt. „If it’s just in my head, it’s not real“- ist die größte Lüge die man sich erzählen kann. Ich wünsche dir alles alles Gute!
I'm so sorry to hear that. I was kind of in a similar situation. I was at Oxford and left there. I felt bad to discontinue the school, also worried for scholarships , parents, etc.... But I found an amazing job right after I left Oxford and life was so good after I left. Oxcambridge is a place to make people feel inferior and weak, but you are an amazing person. Don't stress yourself anymore, there are plenty of great places you should be.
No matter how ‘good’ something is, if it doesn’t make you happy, it’s not worth it. I hope you figure a way forward and end up happier than you’ve ever been
Believe me, nobody is judging you. You are not ungrateful, or whatever you might think. I think that if you’re not happy there, you don’t have to spend a single second in there if it’s making you that miserable. 🌸 Don’t worry about what everyone else thinks, they don’t know what you’re going through, so they don’t really need to understand. Do whatever feels right for you, and you will always be happy ☺️☺️
Thank you to everyone who was here for the premiere! Here's a little blog post I wrote about the situation if you'd like to know more: www.elenahandtrack.com/single-post/2019/06/02/Why-I-Left-Cambridge-University
Take good care of yourself Elena! You are not alone, many people have your back, and you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for talking about such an important issue and being an example. xx
Take good care of yourself sis, eat well and sleep well. Don't panic, Spirituality helps to deal with depression most often. God help you and be positive. Also I will thank you for sharing this with the world so that others can be get help too from your similar experiences. 👍🏻🌸😘
How did you overcome?? I think I'm in the same situation from past 3 years... Just nothing going well and I'm having no interest on anything... And it's really getting day by day... People around me doesn't understand and they want me to cheer but I really don't know how?? It would be helpful if you can advise anything for me..
Getting worse day by day*
I think you didn't learn to ballance your emoticons yet but dont worry these suffering will make you a more refined person. Dont you know how gold shine it shine because it purifies by fire.
Once I was also depressed but I overcome and I have a beautiful vision for future. This vision inspires me and it comes and groom in me during my depression. I read some beautiful spiritual book and practice alot of science exercises because it gave me a peace little bit but I took long time to understand them.I was completely unfocused as compared to my peers. If you need I may suggest some books to you I don't know if it works for you or not. But I would like to help anyone who is suffering like me.
Jitendratiwari11@gmail.com
This is my id. Well I dont speak too much about my dream but this suffering will decide connection of your neurons which ultimately develop your personality, your interest, your direction of thinking. It happens with every one . I was also doing alot of meditation at that time. It helps me alot. If you are too much emotional and thought about more than three four things simultaneously , it happened with me too. I would suggest you to live alone but meet with friend on evening time.
There are so many things.
well, the first video i saw from you was the one where you vlogged a day in cambridge, going up at 4am in the morning, studying the whole day, having time with friends and looking perfect all the time. I was wondering how to have such a nice life, beeing so motivated and always looking good. So i wasnt prepared for this video, have seen the vlog yesterday again and it kinda motivated me. Now i just realize that even the people making a good impression do have huge problems. I am so sad that you had to go through all of this. hope you feel better now, love love love
@King Comic ツ Con bruh. ARE U EVEN SERIOUS!
Same
tiniiily I had the same impression
Me2
same heree😭
This video is SO IMPORTANT. The first video I watched, before this one, was “a day in the life of a Cambridge student” and it all seemed so distant and not relatable at all for me. Now this... this I can relate. I’ve been there. I’m still there sometimes. I also had to take a break from uni, struggles with depression and anxiety, and all of the things shown here. This is a real problem that deserves way more recognition.
I feel very sorry for her. I also watched the exact same video right before this one. I'm kinda confused tho. Wasn't that vlog posted about half a year after this one? Didn’t she leave in the end? I do not intend to be disrespectful or anything. I'm just a little confused.
@@lindab8765 Same, i don’t understand? 😔
SAME!!!!
"She was unstoppable, not because she did not have failures or doubt, but because she continued on beside them."
What book is this sentence from?
I don’t know.... but I know it’s from the author Beau Taplin.
Thank you I needed to see this
I'm also a law student and struggle since my first term with this issue. I skip classes because i'm afraid of meeting people, but i also don't wanna be alone. I get panic attacks for no reason and can't sleep because of my negative thoughts. I'm lying to my family, but i'm struggling, i'm burned out and under so much pressure! But i'm ashamed of taking a break because i don't want my mates to be ahead of me at university.
Stop comparing yourself to others and just think about your mental health
I have been in a similar situation. If you can, please seek professional help, ie a psychologist. It is probably miserable now but with some help it can be overcome. You can and you deserve to have a good life ❤
Detto. I have been struggelling with depression and OCD for a while, and its freaking hard to keep up with my studies, and have a good mean to stay financed by the government. Not to mention social aniexity.
😐 do you hear yourself? Your struggling in law school but skip classes 🤨 how does that sound. Your afraid of meeting people? You’ve meet people all your life. You don’t have to talk to those people. You just making excuses to feel sorry for yourself, when every m problem you mention is fixable. Literally.
@@rinaari4928 i don't think that's necessary. we all have different upbringings, and you cannot know for sure what the other person is feeling.
The best university is the one where you feel at home and cheerful and excited about your study program, but also about your life outside it! ✨❤️✨
Very nice
We are so proud of you for prioritising your mental health and I’m truly wishing you all my love and support 💜💜 you will come back from this so much stronger xx
The one time I'm really hoping this is clickbait
this has 1000+ likes and no replies sooo.... hi :) have nice day!
Now its has 2 replies
Sick of the click bait
Elena, please know that your are a brave and courageous young woman who is taking the right step; for now your major is taking care of yourself! School will always be there, various life paths and opportunities will be at your fingertips, choices will always be offered when you think doors have been shut. But far more important is health, a truly happy smile and laugh, and your fans have your back too! Have a beautiful summer and get well! Post when you want, not because you feel you have to. Hugs to you! Embrace the journey of healing. 🌹
I understand you 100%.
I decided to move and go far from home because I wanted to study at a good university. But since I moved it was all horrible, I didn't like the classes, I couldn't make friends, all I wanted to do was staying in bed all day. I hadn't the excitement of starting a new life, in a new city, with new people. So I decided to left University and came back home. Since then I'm happy, and I remember those days at university as something horrible. From this experience I have learnt that there is a resolution to everything.
I'll start, again, University this October, near home, in an environment that suits me more.
I felt that
Why not try US university
Mental health is so important for us, we often choose career over health. Sometimes we forget that we live our life both physically and mentally
I’m in a similar situation but don’t know if I’m capable of going back to uni since I went from taking one term at a far away uni to community college and I’m not sure if other unis will see me as a failure when I decide to apply after a year
I studied 4 years in Cambridge and had experienced the biggest rollercoaster of emotion there.When I was in Cambridge I feel stressed and lonely the moment when I got back to that city. You have to look at the bright side in there all the time. Also there are good consultancies there, they are of great help. Depression is very very common in Cambridge. Please come back and carry on once you feel better. Best luck for you.
sam
Similar feeling, academic atmosphere in Cambridge is too competitive. Everytime I go home diring holiday. I feel like I am a different person much more confident.
davy boy Exactly the same, no matter how hard I work, my exam grade is always miles away from a first. Other smart guys can achieve it fairly easy.
I left 11 years ago. And although looking back I remember the best 3rd year ever (the year I finally settled down and enjoyed the place), I can sort of remember how bad the 1st and 2nd year were. I was lucky I had amazing friends, and I am so happy I survived it and I can say I am a Cambridge graduate.
@davy boy I did medical sciences. Went off to London for clinical school. Studied much less but did much better 😂😂 I tell people that its alright if you don't get into Cambridge. It might be a blessing in disguise
I think isn't about competitive, It's about your personal insecurities
I must say I was always jealous of the students of Ivy League universities or Cambridge, Oxford, as I am gifted but also late diagnosed with ADHD and not from the right family or the right country and never really had much support for studying. I struggled a lot and switched universities and anytime I was reading a blog or watching a video from one of those perfect schools I just thought, it wasn't fair and they were all so lucky. But then I found numerous videos from these schools of people talking about mental health problems and the preassure to be perfect all the time and I realised that nobody really has a perfect life, there is always something. I was happy to see that you actually went back.
Lots of Geniuses were AdHd, they had learning problems but they chased their dreams so believe in urself,ur infinite abilities,
Well, I think you did the right thing to be open about it, and you will be returning to Cambridge. I was a Pembroke NatSci between 2009-2011. I ended up failing my second year. If you fail your exam, they don't let you retake. I come from a Chinese family, we are far less open about our feelings. So my problem was never addressed, and I ended up dropping out.
Anyway, if you ever experienced mental health issue again in Cambridge, try and get it sorted before the exams, my understand was that if you take the exams, the results will count, and you are not allowed to retake. At least that was the case 10 years ago.
I ended up switching to do Computer Science in University of York. Now I am doing a PhD in University of East Anglia. But this depression thing has never fully gone away. I have to say not getting a degree from Cambridge was one of the more traumatising thing in my life. I was forced to leave, because I failed my exams. I hope that does not happen to you. I think if you really dislike Cambridge, choosing to leave yourself is better than being forced out.
Oh by the way, you are still entitled to CamCard (the alumni card) even if you end up dropping out. :) I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing. I think of it as a good thing. I made some good friends when I was in Pembroke. My name ended up in my Cambridge best friend's PhD thesis, because I helped him out.
I know my words probably won't make you feel any happier, all I want to say is that in the worst case, even if you don't end up getting a degree from Cambridge, you definitely would have learnt something. At least I did. I used my knowledge to help out the friend I met in Pembroke for his PhD. I used to visit him twice a year, until he moved to America.
Anyway, good luck, feel free to contact me at ff266@cantab.net, if you feel like you need someone to talk to. Yes, ff266 was my CRsID.
I feel happy for you, in the sense that you are intermitting. You still have a chance to get a degree from Cambridge. I didn't address my own mental health issue, I ended up dropping out. Well done for being brave enough to talk to people about it and get help. :-) And always remember, your friends are always there for you. The ones who look down at you are not your friends.
@davy boy Hey, bit late but I'm currently in second year doing NatSci. Honestly it is not that different now in terms of expectation and workload, still the degree with the most contact hours (at least in first year with 6 9am's a week) and seemingly the most stressed students. I read your post earlier about chemistry practicals - can relate so much! Last year they were the worst 5 hours of my week, stress levels extremely high throughout every single one since they were all assessed and came out feeling mentally drained every time. Struggled a lot in first year between whether I should study 24/7 just to stay afloat or do I get involved in all the amazing activities on offer and fun things to do in cambridge - and not sleep. Weird times now that we have all been sent home and having remote teaching instead because of the virus. They're even proposing giving us online exams at the moment, though not sure if that will take place for all years or only third years.
They should treat international students in an equal way.
University of york is still excellent for computer science
You're so kind. You're not alone in what you've faced, may God bless💛
I'm really proud of your decision. You have proven to be an intelligent and good human being. Several universities and people have noticed this. Taking this time out will only do you good. The opportunities and the future you worked for will be waiting for you when you are ready. Much love from your subscribers!
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I had that unhappiness in my uni but I realised it wasn’t the course or the uni, it was me adapting to ‘not being top’ at uni and being scared of failing. Once I embraced failing and just trying things it slowly but surely helped me. But it’s really amazing you realised how and why you were feeling that way. As we get older it’s hard to take control of our own health and you made the right choice for you. This is a great video for others.
I keep checking back in here, this has been on my mind ever since I saw it a few days ago. I really hope you're doing alright! I have to admit I was very shocked to see the title, but as long as you're alright and happy with your decisions, that's what matters!
It's unbelievable how strong you are to tell this story of yours, to show yourself vulnerable and thus help others to not fall as deep as you fell. Thank you for your bravery!
the first and hardest step: Acceptance.
youre in my prayers.
ure so strong, thank u for ur strength, despite hardships, u still manage to inspire others, thank u
Elena. Brave, inspirational and brutally honest. You words will help so many other students who are struggling and those who will now appreciate that they can help their friends. Most of all, I hope you get all the help and love you need to be able to return to your studies and fulfil your dream to become an outstanding human rights lawyer. I wish you all the best and hope that you can move away from the dark times and into the sunnier side of life. Vivien x
elena, so much respect for making this video. I've had to undergo a fairly similar journey this year, and I have to say there is some comfort in knowing I'm not the only one.
Your feelings matter, it is admirable how you are brave to share this and talk openly about it. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal video with us. We are here to support you, much love!
Honestly I think you are quite strong because if I was in your position I would have never been able to keep myself together that long.
#All our feelings matter
I hope you are okay ♥️ You will meet bigger and better opportunities
Elena, it has been a pleasure to get to know you from not realizing it was you sitting next to me in Michaelmas term to then discovering we were both law youtubers. You are kind and your videos are amazing. I hope you have a happy and prosperous life whatever you do and know that we are all behind you every step of the way xxx
for me, university is something that anyone would be excited and grateful of. that this thing happens to you is very, very, sad. I really hope that when you go back you feel better and optimistic, I know you will, because cambridge is a magical place, and do not blame yourself on feeling like this. you have all of my kindness and support!
💖as someone who has battled with depression in the past and still with anxiety (though a lot better than it was) I really feel for you. Very brave video and one that will help many people. Hope you receive all the help you need. 💝
you're so brave. thank you for sharing this and being vulnerable, showing the other side of you and cambridge life- sending so so much love!!
Hi sweetie ! I went through something similar during the years of my bachelor's degree in interpreting and translation... I used to stay at the university like 9 hours a day. Lessons were so heavy and exams too hard to be passed easily..there were classmates so competitive and selfish, all seemed to be a TV show with a final prize. Go for your way, study, think about your future, you won't be a student forever ! Life is not all about exams, mean classmates and pressure.
I went through the same thing when I studied abroad for almost four years, depression, anxiety and crying were controlled my life, I was unhappy because of lots of difficulties at dormitory and mean students and so on, but one day, it was stage four and I was extremely exhausted with everything, while I was crying over quiz which I got 0.5 out if 10, my doctor told me look life is not all about studying and college, life includes much more things than you've ever thought about.
She said there are lot's of levels in life which you are going through, collage exams don't worth a cry, you know at that time I didn't got it all. But now it has been a year I've graduated and I realized collage is something never worth to be concerned about, and it doesn't matter in which situation you are, it will pass just be patient and believe that god directs to get you out from difficulties, you ought to believe and trust in him, that's enough for you!!
sam
these "mean classmates" turns out to be an internationally shared problem 😂
Elena this has to be one of the best videos you have made in your channel !! I'm so sorry you have gone through this i wish you the best recovery and hopefully you go back with a much better mindset and you finish your degree feeling happy and proud about yourself!!.
Love you soo much !! you are honestly such an inspiration.
Really happy you're getting the support you need and deserve. I empathise with you completely. I'm in a very similar position, 1st year MMLer at Cambridge who intermitted this year also due to depression. I really feel you. It's going to get better. I hope it all works out for you. x
Hi Elena
Just wanted to tell you about my similar experience. I was in my second year of Law studies at university when I experienced severe depression and a deep dive into my illness. My depression is biological (side-effects of Malaria medication when I went on Holiday to Mozambique). I ended up changing my course completely and now I am a qualified teacher in English studies. I am completing my Law studies part-time. At that time, it was the best decision I could have made. Yes I regret having to study part-time now but for my health it was the best decision I could have made.
oh my gosh elena my heart broke when i saw the intro 😭❤️ sending you so much love bb thank u for being so strong and also for sharing your story this is such an important topic
I hoffe es geht dir gut! Und hast einfach nur einen besseren weg im Leben für dich gefunden!
Elena - you seem to be a truly incredible person and I wish you all the best in this process. Health and well-being always have to come first! We are all rooting for you to get better, but do not rush the process for anything. Take your time, read a book, drink some tea. xx
I really hope you get better soon and i know that you can get better soon and it is totally okay to feel unhappy when every thing is right❤
I have a cousin who is now studying law and she once talked to me about this feeling of burn-out. I was expected to pursue law too but instead, studied Masters in Philosophy of Islamic Politics at Indonesia. I sometimes feel burn-out too especially being alone and far from my country (Philippines) but I keep on struggling with the jobs and studies cause there is a reason I chose to study far and not commit to what my family expected me to. Maybe we just need time to pause and reflect. Im new to your channel and I immediately fell in love with your productivity which I need at this moment (inspiration). Whatever your decision is, we support you. Stay strong.
Hi Elena,
I was exactly like you. I was struggling with depression even thaught it looks like I had not reason to be sad. Some times, your mind tells you that's you are not going well but you won't listen because your scared of what your friends and familly would react. I hope you are heald. Without mental health we are nothing. All my support❤
Thank you so much for sharing this! I hope you get better. ❤️❤️ Stay strong😊
Stay strong sweet heart.. We all are with you.. Love you ❤
And you deserves better and you will.. All the very best for your future 😘
I relate to this so much. I go to university out of state and it’s not too far away from my home (about 4 hours away) and I was initially excited to go. But after a series of bad events and horrible luck with roommates for a year and a half, I fell into a pretty deep depression since I didn’t have any real friends there. I fought it for a year and a half while getting grades I never thought I’d be able to get. But over the holiday break, I decided to stay home and just take care of myself and make sure I’m happy and healthy before I venture out again. Mental health is so important as a student and it’s something that always needs to be addressed when things don’t feel quite right. I’m glad your taking time to help yourself and making decisions that are the best for you. Stay strong! ^-^
„We all grow at different rates“. And that is beautiful. Take your time for yourself. Mental health is the most important. 💕
This made me cry sooo much. I was depressed when I was 14. I isolated myself from all my friends, I quit all 7 of my sports, i skipped school as often as I could, my grades dropped, I didn’t care about anything and had no interest in anything which is a feeling much worse than those words sound on paper. Whenever my parents tried to talk to me I’d scared at them because I didn’t want anyone to know it acknowledged that I was depressed. I thought there was something wrong with me that I couldn’t let others know about. Everyone stared at me as I went from the intelligent happy popular girl to a girl with low grades and no friends. I didn’t know how to hide it from everyone in my year group (140 people) I felt so horrible and never told anyone which was dumb
When u got better?
Noticeably better by 16, most of it was over by 18
You're not ungrateful ! You shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed about your decision ! You did what was right for you and as someone whose also been in that position I understand you. Take time off and find yourself ! Your mental health is most important ! Take care xx
Elena just know that everything that happens, happens for a reason. It's all part of a plan and you will soon look back at this video and know that what happened, happened for a reason. Stay strong! I wish you all the best. Everything will be just fine.
Sending lots of hugs, stay strong - strong enough to continue asking for help when you need it.
Elena, always remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger 🤗🤗🙂
Hope you get better! You’re such an amazing girl and deserve everything💘 Thank you for inspiring me to be a better student 💫
Hi Elena, thank you for posting this. I'm at university and was doing fine, then suddenly in 2nd year depression hit me like a truck. For months and mo ths I cried myself to sleep and kept it to myself until one night I couldn't take it, I called me parents at 1am begging them to bring me home early. Thankfully the understood and they did. Sometimes a break is all we need xx
This is so relatable, I am on a break for my degree too, I got accepted by a very good university but I was not happy. I could not go to uni, I could not do anything, I missed so many lectures, tutorials... I want myself to get better but I just can’t.... as a perfectionist, this is such a pain😢 I feel you completely, you are not alone.
Hi Elena, I have started following you very recently and I am honestly so so proud of you. I just got done with my first year of law school at Edinburgh University and I have been dealing with the same issues as you. I don't have a lot of people to support me, but I have been trying to get as much help as I can for myself and actively engage in self care. This video is so inspiring. Much more power to you and lots of love. ❤
I admire your courage...thank you for sharing this❤
Stay strong sweetheart we all are with you 😘😘
Babes your mental health and happiness is so much more important than your education! You’ll always have time for that, you’re a smart girl and I’m so sure you’ll make it in life
I looked at your day in life video just before and knew how pretty and glad you were!!!! I never expect this type of thing will happen to you. I stand by you forever and wish you a pleasant journey ahead!!
We're always with with you, in our hearts and our prayers....stay strong and get well soon...
I’m sorry you had to go through all this Elena, I’m glad you’ve sought support and I wish you all the best, remember there are people that love and care for you and will do anything to help you, and I know it’s hard sometimes to accept help but you need to take it, for you. Your academics can wait but your health can’t! I’ve been in a similar situation before and I know how hard it is, take some time for you and find that passion that is inside of you again! Sending lots of love 💓
I went through the same thing when I studied abroad for almost four years, depression, anxiety and crying were controlled my life, I was unhappy because of lots of difficulties at dormitory and mean students and so on, but one day, it was stage four and I was extremely exhausted with everything, while I was crying over quiz which I got 0.5 out if 10, my doctor told me look life is not all about studying and college, life includes much more things than you've ever thought about.
She said there are lot's of levels in life which you are going through, collage exams don't worth a cry, you know at that time I didn't got it all. But now it has been a year I've graduated and I realized collage is something never worth to be concerned about, and it doesn't matter in which situation you are, it will pass just be patient and believe that god directs to get you out from difficulties, you ought to believe and trust in him, that's enough for you!!
this is an incredible thing to put onto the internet - so wonderfully happy for you that you were able to make that right decision x
Im in a shitty college and still go through this 😂
Hahah
Samw
This vedio is very important for All the students , even I had been through this chaos same way , I dropped from the university and came home , it made me realy comfortable . Always make sure to take the course that you want to do
I watched your vlog about your day as a Law student in Cambridge, where you looked very self-motivated and now watching at this. Wow...! Such a contrast. This reminds me of myself. I started my studies in the best Law School of one of the most prestigious universities in Latin America (UNAM) with same vibe: enthusiastic, self-motivated. And now, 10 years after entering Law school and 6 of being graduated, I'm an unhappy lawyer who is working very hard to get retired of law environment as I realized through the timeframe between being a law student and work as a licensed lawyer, that I've chosen the wrong career, hence this is not my passion. I understand and support your struggle, and I'm glad you realized what are your priorities and listen to your heart to do what is the best for you, before it was too late, as in my case...
I just can’t express how much I identify with this. I just took a semester off my my university too. I study at what’s considered the best university in my country and in one of the toughest majors to get in, I had excellent grades, an scholarship and was over all doing great academically but I was feeling really miserable. I genuinely started tasking myself with finishing the day or finishing the week and it just felt so tiring. Getting out of bed was a huge task, I didn’t feel like doing anything at all, I stopped doing the things I liked and stopped talking to my friends. Sadly for me, none of those friends talk to me anymore and I’m feeling very isolated. I feel so happy you have such supportive friends! I’m happy you were able to take that decision, which I know feels immensely hard. I wish you all the luck in the world for your return!
Girl make new friends. Meet new people you are youn full of life... life waits for yoi. Do not feel isolated. Do some fun stuff in the weekend. And those so called friends probably see you as a competition and envy you. So make new friends. Enough nice people out there for sure! 😁
ANDJELINA thank you! I really hope I am able to! I have found a lot of comfort in my family! I hope I can start fresh once the quarantine is over :)
I remember feeling this way when I first began the Sorbonne in Paris. I also did some self isolation. I did stick it out though, with the help of some friends and a counselor. I finally finished and I am glad that I did.
I was in a similar situation, moved, got accepted to a famous uni for hs and was in a crisis for the last year. The only difference is that I had no friends and I kept having bad grades even though I am in the highest section and also I had got into many dramas and bullying due to competetiveness. Plus, I had to deal with the judgefulness at home. It was the worst thing.
I learned through that experience is to not give a fck at all even though i am still suffering from the developed mental illness (i had this before, though I managed to heal it and it came back once again due to that one year.) And how to manipulate my reality and manipulate other people too sadly.
I am proud that we both are getting slowly back in track, as i as well left but not in that way. I completed and got into another school that I hope is good.
Lets all love and give ourselves a break. Thank you for sharing your experiences, it will forever inspire us.
"because you deserve it"
made me tear up
Going through the same thing. Relate to you so much. I hope you’re okay x
Same. I was in a good law school but I got social phobia and I just hated school. So I stopped going for about a year. That year really put things in perspective and I was able to get back and graduate. Now I'm going to do the bar exam soon. Sometimes we need a break😊.
Thank you for sharing. I hope u get better soon❤️
Get well soon! Your health comes first and your degree can wait, what's most important is for you to feel better. This must have been really hard to share but it will definitely help SO many people who will realize that they are not alone and that they shouldn't underestimate things like this. We need to talk about mental health so that people can recognize when they/their close ones are going through something similar, so thank you for doing this. Good luck with everything! xx
Different people will have different path. Try to do what makes you happy. Will always support you!
You are an incredibly strong person!!!
Thank you for sharing your experience. It was touching. Unfortunately, tribulations with mental health is becoming more apparent than ever before. I had been at my state premier early college program. I moved into a college dorm with other gifted students at the age of 16. I was on cloud 9. I had everything I dreamed of. I had tuition and books for. I had finally made it to the place I was working towards since middle school. But, second semester hit me in the face. I had burned out from all the advanced college classes. So did my friend group. They all left the program. This is when my depression got really bad. I started getting suicidal, and forced myself to see a therapist. I had no clue what I’d happened to me. It took a long time to stop rejecting the truth. I needed up medically withdrawing at the end of my first year. I am now back at my high school as a Senior. That experience taught me a lot. Sometimes I regret going. Sometimes I feel like a failure. But, I have a more mature mindset now.
THE MOST MOTIVATION VIDEO I HAVE EVER SEEN ! GOOD EXPERIENCE AND GOOD EXAMPLE . THANKS .
Elena, thank you so so much for being honest with us x
You're such a strong person for sharing all this:)
I'm wishing you all my support and please please please remember not to be too hard on yourself
Health always should come first, so proud of you and I hope things ease for you :)
Not sure what happened but I hope you are ok! And when one door closes in life, another opens, it's always fine in the end.
Sending you love and light ✨✨✨ please look after yourself!! X
Omg elena!! I hope you are ok!! I'm brazilian and also a law student... I love your vlogs!! ♡
Oh my goodness. Elena is not really the type to do clickbait so this has me very worried. I hope you are okay and this was a positive decision for you. You are so intelligent and talented, you will succeed in whatever you pursue, but now I have butterflies in my stomach.
I'm so proud of you, since I knew you, you became an inspiration to me.
Somedays, I'm a little bit down and I know your videos are here, for me.
In some way, you are a support for me and I hope I can do the same for you with my words.
I hope you get well soon and I know you will do it because you're really brave.
You have our support, always.
Thank you for everything.
All the love from Uruguay,
Romina.
Romina Martínez s
I am so sorry that this happened to you. You are a very talented young woman and your life is so much more than where you are enrolled at college for a few short years. Best wishes in your recovery.
Elena, keeping you in my prayers. Sending hugs!! 💖❤️
Thank you for this video. Glad to hear the last line.
At one time, I left the university after studying there for 2.5 years and realized that it was not mine, although no one could understand me, but it was my choice. I entered another university and spent excellent student years there, while I paid very little attention to my studies directly. I devoted everything to student life. One of the important points was participation in student meetings and conferences. So while studying at Moscow University, I visited India three times, Turkey three times, as well as Spain and Sweden. Moreover, we traveled all over the European part of Russia, just participating in various kinds of meetings. I didn't get good grades, but I enjoyed the opportunities that my university gave me, I also went to the pool every day and did swimming with the coach, it was part of our program and played tennis, at the same time my best friend who studied with me refused all this for the sake of good grades. As a result, after graduating from University, we got the same job and I really miss student life. I understand that work will never give me what I had when I was at university. Then I was free, I had everything. I remember my five years as an interesting and wonderful time. And now I have a vacation only twice a year for two weeks and 9 more days of winter holidays when I can go somewhere to relax. The rest of the time I just work, but looking at my friend, who has a diploma with honors, I'm glad that I didn't chase it, that I didn't sit for hours and crammed history and political science textbooks to get an excellent grade. I was mediocre among other students at the university, but my life was filled with pleasant emotions and I would really like to live this life again.
This sounds like a good plan, but might not work if you are an engineering or CS student. I wonder if you can pass the classes without studying, probably you'd have to retake the classes several time until you finally accept the reality and study.
I just want to say thank you for this video. It helps a lot to people in similar situation, when it looks like nothing is wrong. You're in a place you were dreaming about, learning things you were expecting one day to be your profession. And then it all just fell apart for no visible reason. I had quite the same experience.
First of all, i live in Russia. I was born in south part of the country in small town, where it is always warm and sunny and it's nice just to be outside (i did not even believe in all these "always cold Russia" steriotypes, because it's different in south regions), but for years i was dreaming about moving to Saint Peterburg, to the city of culture and palaces. And this dream came true, I entered to one of the best University in my country to law department. But since the very first day i was unhappy there, I felt like jurisprudencia is not for me. I'm not talking about study to be too difficult (even if it was though), i just didn't feel I was in a right place, i spent nights doing all of my homeworks and readings and then i could not even sleep, because my heart wanted to be somewhere else so badly. I had really good friends and everything just looked great but from the inside it felt exactly the opposite. I needed sun (I had a lack of vitamine D), I needed a support. Neither me nor people around understoond what was wrong at those moment. My dreams just came true, what I could be sad about? There is actually no big difference about being in another country or just a city, if there is still no opportunity to see your loved ones. I was living 2000 km aways from my family and non-university friends, and every single day was worse. By the middle of the spring I knew if I didn't change anything it was going to end very badly. So I tried to fix it by myself, i transferred to history department, because when I was preparing to my finals at school, history seemed very interesting (i was never that mistaking!) But anyway I never regret this step, even if history disappointed me as well. I'm still alive only because I was brave enough to make this step. My parents never supported me in this decision. It's almost four years passed now, I write my qualification paper and I finally found out what i want to do in my life. It's not history or law obviously, but all this situation was a very helpful experience, even if it still hurts a lot.
I just want to say that you don't have to have any visible reasons, everything might seem alright, but if you feel unhappy, if you feel you're not in your place, don't be afraid to leave it all and start your looking again. If you feel a place, where you are, or things you do leads you to depression, run away from it, ask for help. Probably, professional help is needed. Remember, no diploma is more important than you and your mental health. All the best :)
(btw sorry for my poor English)
Hi Victoria, hope you're well now! Ваша история почти как две капли воды похожа на мою. Тоже из южного города Волгограда, мечтал переехать в СПб после университета и переехал, прожил 6 лет, работал в богатой айти компании со всеми прелестями и большой зарплатой. Но Питер доконал, стресс от работы в перестал быть равным обменом зарплате, и я вернулся домой в Волгоград. Близкие удивлялись, но в основном поддерживали. Теперь получаю раз в 7 меньше, но зато в Волгограде уже весна, много солнца и я дома. Надеюсь, конечно, вернуться в СПб, но не с этим давлением рабочим. Золотая клетка, чем бы она ни выражалась - престижем, славой, деньгами, амбициями, не стоит того, чтобы идти наперелом себе, в итоге всегда сгораешь. Надеюсь, что сейчас вы справляетесь, и делаете правильные для себя шаги. Ментал хэлс >>> остальное
@@Satanclaus34 Больше спасибо за поддержку) Сейчас правда все намного лучше. Надеюсь, у вас тоже все хорошо 😊
Girl what do you have to loose or chase? You are beautiful, just spread that to the world just like your caregivers.. take care of yourself!!
Take the time and heal. This is not the end of your story.
You know, I feel you. I haven’t been in one of the best universities in the world but I have been in the place where I feel sad with everything I have, even tho, I have everything I need and even more. If you don’t feel happy with where you are then listen to yourself and be honest with yourself, if you don’t feel happy then say “fuck if”, maybe life has something better for you, but what would you prefer!? To give up your happiness or to actually be happy and let go of the things don’t make you feel that way!? You know, one time time I read in a book, “there is the me that is miserable and afraid, and there is the me that is curious and excited. That second me is not a masochist, she’s wise. She remembers that even though I can’t know what will come next in my life, I always know what comes next in the process. I know that when the pain and the waiting are here, the raising it’s on it’s way.”. I feel you are right now in the “me that is miserable and afraid” but you have to let go of it, the second you is curious and excited to know what comes next. Let go of everything, it will probably will hurt at first and you’ll have to be patient to wait and see what’s there for you, but the waiting and pain won’t matter because then it means you are doing the right thing, rise AGAIN!!! Better things will come in your life!!! 😉-> BE HAPPY, NOT MISERABLE!!! 😌❤️
Hi Elena Handtrack
thank you for your video very challenged. keep on move to achieve your dreams
Thank you so much for making this video! I went through a similar thing when I was 15 and had to drop out of high school because of it. It was an incredibly hard thing to deal with and a video like this would have helped me feel less alone.
Hope things continue to improve for you, and from experience, they definitely will. 💜
Lots of Love from Sri Lanka.... We are always with you
You just taught me a lot of things ❤
this is so deep. i' glad youre pushing forward. im so glad you will be returning. its okay to feel that way :(
Ich hoffe so sehr dass es dir bald besser geht, und finde es richtig mutig dass du dir Hilfe gesucht hast. Du wirst deinen Weg gehen! Das Video ist der Hammer, so gefühlvoll und echt, meine Depressionen in der Schulzeit und Beginn des Studiums haben sich genauso angefühlt. „If it’s just in my head, it’s not real“- ist die größte Lüge die man sich erzählen kann. Ich wünsche dir alles alles Gute!
I'm so sorry to hear that. I was kind of in a similar situation. I was at Oxford and left there. I felt bad to discontinue the school, also worried for scholarships , parents, etc.... But I found an amazing job right after I left Oxford and life was so good after I left. Oxcambridge is a place to make people feel inferior and weak, but you are an amazing person. Don't stress yourself anymore, there are plenty of great places you should be.
No matter how ‘good’ something is, if it doesn’t make you happy, it’s not worth it. I hope you figure a way forward and end up happier than you’ve ever been
The last one you said hitted me from my heart.
Believe me, nobody is judging you. You are not ungrateful, or whatever you might think.
I think that if you’re not happy there, you don’t have to spend a single second in there if it’s making you that miserable. 🌸
Don’t worry about what everyone else thinks, they don’t know what you’re going through, so they don’t really need to understand.
Do whatever feels right for you, and you will always be happy ☺️☺️