Me and Red Got Into A Heated Debate On Vacation. Do You Agree or Disagree?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ต.ค. 2024
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To the person reading this: Even though I don't know you, I wish you the best of what life has to offer
I pray the same for you, Sis!
Right back at you Sis!❤🙏
Touch and agree... and ditto ❤
Amen And Amen 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Thank you, and to you as well
I disagree w/Red and agree w/Toya, you cannot invalidate someone 's feelings. You have to meet the person where they are and try to comprehend why they're feeling the way they're and then come to a resolve. Invalidation of one's feelings will create problems in the relationship.
Yessss I wish I could like this comment 1000 times
True. Red reminds me of my man. It’s hard to debate with him. 😆 The commitment to their own school of thought is real.
@@SoulBeauty1111omg yes!!!!
I agree with Red. I took the perspective that he feels what you’re feeling is wrong when it ain’t true. That’s what I got. She’s not wrong to feel a way but what she’s thinking is wrong is what he was saying.
@Kim-dv4ly Ah, I see. I understand his perspective now. So, in essence, Red is conveying meeting her, or in this example one's spouse or partner where they're by saying, what you're feeling is wrong, based on your interpretation, which is based on one's action or inaction. When in actuality, I may not have intentionally meant to do xyz, or neglect xyz etc. Makes sense.
Red looked like he was ready to get up, walk away and call it a day. 😂 He was over it. 😭
Because he is right….he over it lol
and i agree with him😅😅
Right 😂 he’s so chill! He’s a Sagittarius he don’t have time for all of that. He’s ready to go chill
Silence is louder than any reaction..... Toyaaaaaa, don't make him #3..
TEAM RED
@@Chow_Mein0729 Exactly
The assumption is wrong....not the way someone is feeling ...or the way your responding isnt right....i get exactly what Toya is saying you can't tell someone how they feel....😂😂😂😂❤
Red is right. Your perception of a situation does not make it a reality for others. It just means that something is wrong and that's where Toya is right, you can not make a person fill how you want them to feel, but accept how they feel and then work towards making the needed corrections so that both are speaking the same language of Love. Believe it or not, most marriages end due to misspoken responses to how a person feels in the relationship, instead of hearing them and having the adult conversation on how to move in the right direction for both parties!
I believe that your perception doesn’t make it reality but It doesn’t make the way you feel wrong. I also believe it has to stop at your feelings then assess the situation.
No response needed. Best comment !
This was a good topic because as married couples we dismiss each other feelings and we suppose to be able to listen how each other feel and work on pleasing each other foe real
I’m glad Monyetta found someone that is intelligent & can openly communicate their views on a topic. I’m happy for her. I love this mature dialogue.
❤
None of them are articulate (likely no college degrees at the table). But, the topics were interesting.
We'll do you know the most successful people who are millionaires have no college degrees so titles don't define a person with proper communication skills intelligence or proper Grammer sorry your' re wrong on that
@@korew4759 statistically, most people who make over 6 figures have a post graduate degree, so you are waaay off.
Also, college does usually lend itself to better articulation and more insightful commentary.
No I'm not way off bcuz people who are in the entertainment industry and self entrepreneurs they have no college degrees, if you do your research in the urban communities highschool drop out rates are above the graduate line, people ain't going to college as much as they were back in the days people are millionaire without education so are wrong
When she grabbed that phone and said "Let me look up the definition of irrational" I hollered. Red is such a cool dude. He's a great match for Toya. He's very level headed.
Redd is so calm
😂
I see both sides but I agree with Toya. You can’t tell somebody their feelings is wrong Red 😭😭😂😂😂
Yes you can you just can’t tell them how to feel
Oh, this is GOOD!! I Would’ve loved to have been at this table.
SN: I love how Red sits back, quiet, and observant before he drives a point home. He & Toya are a great pair, their characteristics work well together.
Me too.
I’m totally red.. lol I’m on chill.
Does anybody know where the vacation was located?
He sits back most of the time.
@@Babysista its his composure and vibe, ppl don't have to say much to show you who they are.
Moral of the story, feelings are not facts! They are valid because you feel them, but that doesn't make them right. To sum it up, your feelings can be WRONG!
BINGO. They took the loooong way route
Yesssssss
I understand what Toya saying because you can’t tell someone their feelings aren’t what they feeling, that’s like telling someone they head ain’t hurting when they can feel it and you can’t.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
exactly
Red broke it down too well.👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
This conversation gave me a little anxiety! 😂 This was definitely Heated🌶. I'm with Toya, You cant tell someone that their feelings are wrong. Sometimes feelings get misplaced but the fact is those feelings still exist and needs to be addressed with love.
They are both right. The feelings are valid but the assumption is wrong. You have a right to feel how you feel but your reason for feeling that way is wrong and what was assumed.
Red is pouting😂. That Scorpio and Sagittarius paring is a tough one. Outside of the bedroom, it’s hard for these two signs to see things the same way😔
Toya ex-husband Memphis is also a Sagittarius…
I love this conversation because I can get caught up in my feelings and sometimes I can be wrong, but I can’t tell other people that their feelings are wrong because it’s how they feel.
Your feelings can never be wrong but the thought behind why you feel that way can be wrong.
I agree on this one!
In my opinion, this is what I think Red was trying to say.
Absolutely
U said it so well.
@@murielhuis2871 thank you
Monyetta and her husband are a vibe😂
I totally understand what Red is saying. He is speaking logically when he says the feelings are wrong. He’s not saying you’re wrong for feeling that way but the way you’re feeling is incorrect. Feelings & logic just somehow overlap but they don’t go together; dare I say opposites.
Reign is such a daddy’s girl ❤ Thanks for taking us along!
This was a great discussion. It's wrong to tell someone their feelings are wrong. No one should invalidate the feelings of someone else. It's emotional manipulation. How someone feels is how they feel, and no one can tell them they're wrong for feeling how they do. With that being said, one can't hold someone else accountable for their feelings because they can be misleading. This is why it's important to utilize logic and reason. Begin with self to examine if what you're feeling is logical based on the information you have. It also helps to have a conversation with the other party because what you're feeling may be based on inaccurate or incomplete information. So, having the discussion will offer the other party the opportunity to provide clarity. Which may change those feelings.
Perception is reality to the person who is experiencing it.
Feelings and facts are two different things. We often get caught up in our feelings and assume they are facts but in reality we sometimes need to evaluate our feelings and see if it could possibly be a fact. Feelings can be wrong or right Period. By someone saying the way you feel right now is wrong is not invalidating the person's feeling.
See,You get it. Everyone is being emotional and misunderstanding what Red is saying. Lol Her feelings aren’t wrong it’s the conclusion that she jumped to is wrong. He’s not telling her how to feel.
The word “wrong” should be replaced by “misguided”. Yes everyone is entitled to their feelings; however it is not always driven by another person, but mostly by your assumptions and expectations of how you think other people SHOULD treat you.
This!!
You can not invalidate a person’s feelings however you can discuss what is triggering those feelings and emotions
This!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
This is the main reason I rather stay single! No matter how much you are financially well off , people lack the most in expensive gift which is the knowledge to communicate. I agree with Toya‼️
Red, is a laid back, kind of guy. Red is content being at home chilling. Toya is a little different. She don’t mind going with her family and friends. They both have to give a little each way
Red look Irritated 🤣🤣🤣
@Toya, I’m glad you left Nita home because on that last vacation she was burning up for a man like the one in this video 😂😅
Perspective in life is everything... Everybody had valid points based on their perceptions.
LoL Your husband was over it lol.
P. S If you guys try for another baby I hope for a boy just for you Toya ❣️. Reign is doing a great job at balancing her love but she definitely is a daddy girl ❣️.
Girl, it appears like Red had checked out of the conversation. He's not engaging with any of you all hes on his phone.
😂😂
A fair way to address the example I think would be "Babe I sincerely apologize for making you feel that way please believe that wasn't my intention at all. However, I want to be clear those feelings led to a conclusion that is not valid, I would never cheat on you, ever and right now I'm taking accountability & will do my absolute best to never make you feel that way again" PERIODT! We can only wish a man would express himself this clearly, but this response can ease a womans mind, body & soul 😂
Love this response!
That was a great topic to touch on, it’s always good to hear others perspectives. Red seems so nonchalant at times 😂 great vlog! ♥️
He was sitting back laughing 😂😅
Red is so right on all levels. As husband and wife we accused each other because deep down inside we are being insecure.
Insecure and slightly ungrateful. Taking life for granted ... especially the men.
Facts
It’s not about insecurity. It’s about running away with your assumptions about something that you’ve come to the conclusion that you’re right about and you aren’t right.
Red is wrong. Your feelings are VALID BUT the conclusion you came up with along with the FEELINGS are not true. Then you work out the extra. You cannot tell someone the way the FEEL is wrong but the person can absolutely be wrong outside of the feelings.
Red be a little more present and stay off the phone, it's somewhat rude.🤔
I’m like Red..I turn up when I turn up and when I don’t I don’t..nothing personal🤷🏽♀️
I like Red for Toya ❤but I’m not feeling his bad energy in this blog ..it’s kinda embarrassing how his attitude is …then to watch the other woman hubby interact so well while red sit there putting shirts over his face , staying in phone whole time being nonchalant ,even when watch the other hubby try interacting with him red seem kinda rude ..but I could be wrong 😉but Toya such a vibe I love mocha latte 😊
Fact, Red be seeming he has a attitude alot for whatever reason, but Toya be so cool and chill and wanting to talk and have fun with him
I love Monyetta & Toya together. They're both a vibe.Glad everyone had a good time
Monyetta wasn’t saying shyt she was repeating her husband she tryna make it seem like she understood what her husband was talking about in the beginning I think monyetta is slow all she saying is ok, ok, ok, right, right like can she comprehend
This was my favorite video yet! It’s real life conversations that people don’t like to have. I’m with Toya. You can not tell someone how to feel. Your job is to talk about it and correct how you made the person feel! You can not tell someone what they feel is WRONG. You can say the reality of it was CONVEYED wrong, but I’m so sorry how I made you feel. And if the love is real, each party will try to rectify that feeling.
Reds is in chill mode...love to see friends get together and have a great time.. couple talk is good for the relationship and soul always talk it out
Red like a grumpy old man sometimes 🤣
Sometimes? Lol. Everytime I see him on camera.
Hey Toya and Red that was a good discussion. Have fun and be safe
He pissin me off, keep cutting red off let him talk damn
Yess, I feel like they all being messy towards red
No you can not tell anyone their feelings are wrong. Now, you may say some of the things that your spouse start thinking because of the things they are lacking in a relationship may be assumptions but the INITIAL feelings that made your spouse vulnerable enough to allow the assumptions to creep in IS NOT WRONG. It’s cause and affect…because you are making me feel like you dont love me(which is the initial feeling)…now I feel like you may be creeping or no longer interested in me(the assumption) …one thing caused the other to manifest
The initial feeling was not feeling loved, wanted , appreciated, etc. Those feelings were valid for whatever reason…now you allow assumptions to why your spouse may be fumbling u in those categories and you start assuming ..maybe their cheating , etc.
Red I'd so Cool & Calming! I agree with you Toya NEVER tell your spouse they are wrong when they are in their feelings. MAKE IT RIGHT & CHANGE what the feelings are 😊❤
I love the way Redd keeps it real and stand 10 toes down on his shit keep it 1000 Redd salute
Toya is right, I tell people all the time you can’t tell people how you made them feel or tell them how to feel… I only can try to fix it the best way possible by showing you different
Enjoyed this debate.
Red is chill;but seems
like can he can go off,
if needed. I like you,
and Monyetta's friendship.
Didn't know she was
gonna take
the wig off, for real.
🙂
Great topic. Red hit it on point. Toya I remember feeling like my significant other at one time use to move as if they didn't won't to do things together and do outings. When I brought it up of course it wasn't how he felt, but he had to change is action to let me know he wanted to do things together. Lesson learned in that relationship.
Amen to this comment
I think Toya and red was actually saying the same thing. Toya doesn’t like the word wrong because that word invalidates her feelings and Red is just saying your wrong how you feel because I do love you. He looks at the word wrong as that’s incorrect he is being too logical not tapping into his emotional side.
Im the kind of person whoI agree to disagree and let's come to a conclusion and move on I dnt like the back and forth thing and everyone has there own feelings you cant make a person feel how you feel just get to the bottom of why that person is feeling that way PERIODT!!!!
She went through in Her other marriage and I'm telling you, marriage. Chang people, I'm probably going to be one way when you're in a relationship. But when you get married, they change until totally different people. I don't like the way he always in his phone when She is talking to him and they have friends around. And they're having conversations and he's just in his phone It's giving disrespectful
This convo has me rolling.Its nice seeing Monyetta in the vlog.Her husband is hilarious.
Feelings are individual. Nobody can tell you that your feelings are wrong. Because they're not the owner of the feeling you are expressing. If they contribute to you feeling the way you feel...then express it and apply the needed change to ease up that emotion. Keep having fun y'all ✌🏾
I agree with Toya. Telling me my feelings are wrong would be disregarding them. DO NOT DISREGARD MY FEELINGS AT ALL. PERIOD! Instead address reasons why I feel the way that I feel and come up with solutions to make me not feel the way that I feel. I's called communication, compromising and respecting your mates feelings.
Mmmmm mmm! I like them as a couple and I pray they last🙏🏽
please don’t let this reality ish destroy your marriage/family … talk about this in private because it’s obvious you’re speaking from a personal space and it’s also obvious your husband was uncomfortable and checked out of that conversation… 🤷🏽♀️
And then you KEPT pushing your agenda ijs saying sis sometimes the best defense is offense…👌🏽
Those couple debates are good. But in some cases never end well!
Instead of telling a woman (an emotional creature) her feelings are wrong, a person can say, I understand that you feel that way, but my intent behind my words are...... Its not that feelings can't be wrong, but depending on the situation it may not be the time to say that.
Toya is saying she feels Red, doesn’t like being around her and going places with just them two. Red is saying no, Toya, what you’re feeling is not , the way I feel. I don’t mine going places, with you, but not all the time. Y’all go too much for me sometimes.
Toya is outgoing….Red is CHILL! I can see how this can be an issue with them.
Feelings are never wrong! It's about perspective. Maybe the story you're telling yourself is not based on truths but your partners feelings should be validated, heard, and respected. We all feel and feelings are emotions based on the stories we tell ourselves and even half truths; Toya is expressing the need to have feelings validated..and heard not judged, criticized, or belittled. I hear you TOYA...
Red isn’t the guy I thought he was and I think Toya is figuring that out as well! I don’t see them being married for long!
I literally scrolled for a few minutes to see if anyone felt what I felt. He is NOT the one. If you’re sitting with your face in the phone the whole vacation. No affection. No participation. Only showing love to our child, that’s intentional. Not “that’s just how he is”. It’s sad to watch. I feel for Toya fr
I see that too, He keeps an attitude
😂😂😂😂😂ANSWER THE QUESTIONS WHEN THEY ARE GIVEN SIR 😂🤣🤣😂😂
Based on Red’s scenario, your feelings might not be wrong but your train of thought / assumptions are wrong, if what you’re concluding is not true!! Then you’d have to work on why you’re feeling that way (unmet needs, insecurities, interests changed, miscommunication etc).
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I agree with Toya. You can’t tell someone the way they’re feeling is wrong. However in the example red gave you can tell your spouse the things they are thinking to make them feel a way, is wrong…the thoughts are wrong. But you have a right to feel how you want.
For whatever reasons, this vlog made me wanna entertain another relationship. 😩😩😩
Think hard baby! Lol 😂
Okayyyy 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I understand the debate. Your feelings are not wrong, I think it’s the thought that’s wrong. If your feelings are hurt they are hurt, no right or wrong in that. Now, The thoughts that gave you those hurt feelings are wrong. And yes, the other person should acknowledge the feelings but speak on the thoughts. Been with my husband for 22 years and it’s still hard sometimes. Don’t trip. ❤
I mean, if someone's feelings are wrong, they are wrong!! If you feel/believe something that is untrue, then they are wrong!! Red be chillin he is a no-nonsense kind of man that has no time for bs from Toya or no one else. I absolutely love Red!! Interesting vid!!
I get what both is saying but I think the better saying is “Your feelings are not wrong BUT your feelings are NOT the truth because I haven’t done what you’re feeling” BUT if it’s a different situation like your spouse feel a certain way because of your actions then you need to change your actions to change her feelings!! Simple!! Ppl feel certain ways most times because of actions!
I love this conversation! We need more of this for our married folks 😊. Keep it coming T ❤
This was so good we need more.
We need to align our feelings with Truth. Because we feel something its just that, our feelings unless our feelings can be validated as truth. Now, that does not mean that our feelings should not matter because they should, but they are not always right. Great convo!
Ok. I had to pause this to comment. Toya I feel you when you say no one can say what you feel is wrong. Now Red although the reason my be meaning maybe something wasn’t however everyone feelings are valid.. sometimes we take things the wrong way but in that moment the feelings are valid.
Everybody made valid points. The truth is, your feelings may not be wrong or irrational but your COMPREHENSION of them may be & that’s why the point made about self reflection is key because what you’re feeling could be attached to trauma & it’s important you’re aware of it so you can change it. Great debate and conversation.
You and Mos friendship/sisterhood is so nice❤ great couples great convo❤great laughs🎉
I don’t like Red’s energy. I guess I’m the only one that will say it. Of course I’m probably just a “hater”. No reason to hate, I would be smiling from ear to ear if I saw Toya in a happy, loving marriage. I love seeing love. But he gives bad vibes. On that damn phone, ignoring Toya, acting like he doesn’t even want to be there. Sad 😢
Seems like he's always like that, cheer up dude, everyone is happy except Red.
T.I. And Tiny should have been on this debate lol
I don’t think the person is wrong for feeling that way. However, I would agree with Red because the accusation is wrong. Just my opinion. Great conversation though!
❤ yasssss Miss Toya and friends and family ❤😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Red ain’t trying to hear that shit lol. But they both are right (Toya). A person can tell you your feelings are wrong but they can’t tell how you to feel.
I love these topics! You could definitely do different discussions on your TH-cam channel also. “Toya’s Topics”! Let’s go! Lol😂💐💐
Toya so New Orleans it’s actually funny to see her screaming laughing 😂😂😂
I don’t like him for you Toya, your daughter is a blessing, of course no questions, but he shows his true colors just through these little videos you post, i can tell… Hope he don’t start taking advantage of this beautiful, smart, kind-hearted, classy and compassionate Queen period. But this is just the way I FEEL 😂😂 WINK 😉 WINK
Love this debate and you guys' relationship. I need friends just like this. This helps me out 🥰. Communication is the key.
We were just at this same resort! Our house was everything ❤❤❤❤
No one can tell you your feelings are wrong. The spouse can only explain to you why they feel like they don't want you to feel the way you do. I'm sorry you feel that way, but...this is why, what, when etc.
Hey Toya & Redd an Fam it’s good seeing you guys and I see you’ll having fun fun 🥰 Thanks for vid ♥️& light but let Redd talk . Thanks for vid Peace and blessings and happiness and prosperity Amen P.S. can’t wait for You & Nae come next month on Wetv♥️♥️♥️😍😍😍😍😍
Disagree with you Toya/ Red wasn’t dismissing your feelings. He said your feelings were wrong because what you were thinking was not true…
I loved this grown folk conversation 🩷.
More of this please! 😂😂😂😂😂😂❤❤❤
why is red always on his phone I feel like he don't want to be there
Although your feelings are valid. Feelings are not facts. You can't tell someone that your feelings are wrong
Glad y’all having fun!! Thank you!💜
@Toya Johnson, You’re right, everyone has feelings and how each person feels is VALID, regardless of why they feel the way they do.
🙌🏽🙏🏽❤️Nothing Like Family Time🙌🏽🙏🏽❤️
yall joking, and Red is serious!
Red was getting too serious 😂
Aside from picking the wrong men, I kind of see why Toya’s marriages end. She’s not very apt and wants to force her way of thinking on to her partner. She also seems to annoy the shit out of Red. He’s very introverted
Chileee 😩 I see that 2.
Agreed
I love it tooo! It’s also great that they are around other great couples/ppl that aren’t yes men/women but also have valid points to add to the conversation as well! I loved this convo! Redd also is right…if you love someone you should b able to tell them if they’re wrong tho
Im sorry but Toya baby you dead wrong. It’s an adults responsibility to be emotionally independent. No one should have to go through every emotion the other person has. You have to check yourself and make sure you look at the bigger picture because every feeling isn’t valid. Sometimes things can trigger us and it has nothing to do with the other person. Your feelings are valid too you! You just can’t make someone feel like you or change the way you feel. They are only yours to change. There are many cases where a person could do everything in they power to do right but if a person feel a way then that’s how they feel. You can communicate your feelings but not allow them to be accusatory towards your person. Instead of I feel like you cheating, you could say I feel neglected and insecure about our relationship. When your feelings are the basis of how the relationship is then it could become one sided and a person could end up resentful towards you.
I agree 100% with Toya! Red is nonchalant and honestly don’t seem he has the money to keep up with Toya which is why he never wants to do anything! Invalidating your wife’s feelings you won’t have a wife for long! Period
This is some good conversation❤❤
I agree with Toya.. Toya you can’t tell someone their feelings is wrong but you can say their thought process is incorrect (wrong) and explain why….. Red’s reasoning: I am not doing what you are thinking. So ur thought/ thinking is incorrect(wrong). But how someone feels is how they feel. U can’t tell them that’s wrong. Feeling is individual