8 Ways to Not Overreact and Remain Unbothered
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 มิ.ย. 2024
- I'm sharing 8 ways to not overreact and remain unbothered as part of our ongoing elegance series. This video is brought to us by The Chic Society, my private membership group on TH-cam. The Chic Society: Become a member of The Daily Connoisseur to get exclusive monthly live streams, access to my weekly members-only Vodcast, and more. Only $1.99 a month (upper tiers are also available) / @thedailyconnoisseur
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0:00 The Chic Society
1:08 Keep calm and remain classy
3:26 Tip 1
4:37 Tip 2
7:36 Tip 3
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11:26 Tip 5
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16:30 Tip 8
18:46 Elegant Connoisseur mentions
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Thank you for watching ♥️ I would love to know about your experiences with this. Have you grown in this area? Or do you still struggle? If you're interested in joining The Chic Society, you can click here ➡️ th-cam.com/channels/EnEnLT5wBVnK56QFRg_Iwg.htmljoin or on the JOIN button. I'm looking forward to reading your comments! Love, Jennifer
Love this. People who have good character are those who are patient with others. Hard to do, but those who are gentle with the people are always elegant in my eyes
Your video addresses such an important COPING skill. This was a great video to share with friends! I've always aspired to be more like others who appear to handle difficult situations with grace and without reacting out of negative emotions. Taking a "pause" does allow your thoughts to come through and then decide how to react rather than opposite where you react and think about it later. In my previous profession, I worked to teach children to Stop, Think, Do using a traffic light as an image with red as Stop, etc. Adults can visualize that for themselves and suffer fewer consequences from overreacting
I am also an introvert. My temptation is defensiveness and passive aggression (embarrassing to admit). I have really been working on it and praying about it. Anger can be so confusing. It's hard to know when to bite my tongue and when to express a proper boundary (and just how to do that). But just yesterday I was watching Andy Stanley's talk on how to deal with mean people, and it occurred to me that I should also (or maybe even primarily) be setting boundaries on *myself.* As Jesus said, deal with the beam in my eye first. I already know that I should overcome evil with good. That if someone lobs evil (call a spade a spade) my direction, I should return goodness. That is my own boundary. It doesn't discount or ignore what's wrong; it overcomes it. It's hard to explain, but I had been praying for God to give me something to hang onto and simply obey in those moments, and it felt like a revelation.
Great video!
Hi Jennifer!
I am learning and reading Emotional Intelligence!
The need to manage triggers will help enhance self awareness and self control
My husband has taught me the best reaction is no reaction. I was always a hot headed overreactor and now when I get triggered I hear his voice telling me no reaction is the best reaction. I love that I no longer react and I absolutely love that I have fewer regrets about my behavior. I am a very sensitive person, so now I have to learn to work on my emotions.
@@lisad, that is so great, but sometimes a gentle, loving or supportive reaction is needed for the “other” person though. Sometimes not reacting can fuel someone else’s anger and come across as passive aggressive.
I have a coworker like this. When she doesn’t get her way, even when we reach out for her input, she just won’t react at all, and it comes across as very passive aggressive, unsupportive, and solves nothing.
I think you’re probably talking more about road rage type triggers though! In that case, I completely agree!
Holding one's tongue is a lost art in these times.
So true
When I started menopause my ‘lady doctor’ warned me I would feel like telling people exactly what I think (as a result of my mood swings) but to hold back from doing so. It was the best advice she could have given me, aside from the importance of not forgetting my daily Hormone Replacement Therapy 🤣🤣🤣🤣
So true! I lost my temper today and believe God led me to this video!
Now it’s extends to holding one’s fingers too.
Being assertive is healthy, not anger but assertive. It's not a good thing to hold things in, in fact people who are assertive live longer.
DON'T EVER STOP TALKING ABOUT & SHARING YOUR PRAYER & FAITH LIFE!!
Amen 🙏
Amen!
For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. Romans 1:16 (KJV)
Amen!
Please keep sharing your faith
"Everyone needs to leave me alone - unless they wanna join me and be pleasant!" - I felt this comment in the depths of my soul 😂😂
Jennifer, you and your channel are a lovely respite from the vulgarity and incivility of the world. Your lovely countenance and calm speaking voice offer your community a glimpse into elegant living, personal style, and poise. I appreciate - and frankly need - your beautiful channel. Thank you for your hard work, for sharing your passions, and inspiring us to become better versions of ourselves.
You chose the perfect description for how I feel also! 😊 This is an essential society to help me grow in so many areas of my life. Thank you, Jennifer 💕🙏🏻
Thank you so much ♥️
I thoroughly agree; so well spoken. Elegant lady💕
Oh I agree wholeheartedly!!! It is peaceful here
Your grammar, expression and writing style is simply exquisite.
I’m an atheist but I never mind hearing people talk about prayer. I just call it reflection.
My tip is to get in the slowest looking line wherever you are and meditate while you are waiting.
What an awesome idea! Everyone always wants the fastest line. Those people could take some time to reflect.
I somehow always end up in that line any who. I love this!
I don't care about long lines or waiting most of the time. I enjoy my "pondering time" where I think about my writing or a decision or goals.
That’s my trick too. I just love the extra meditation time. I no longer struggle with impatience and I can send love to the clerk who is usually under duress due to previous customers giving them grief. It’s so powerful. It often changes their glum and tired outlook. Try it the next time you’re in line.
Me too. Chill out in Bank lines supermarket any que luv it just chill
When you said “Pause” I thought of Jesus quietly drawing or writing in the dirt, not answering the men about to stone the adulterous woman. Then he answered, of course infinitely wise and forgiving.
I love this! Great observation.
Yes!
🤯
This is story of Jesus is how I live my life.
Power in reflection & silence
I can’t express how much I needed to see this today. I literally cried as you shared about how you pray in your closet and cry out to God because I know that thirst for time with Him and that peace that you are speaking of. Thank you for being so authentic as you share the lost art of staying calm and classy. You do it so graciously and so beautifully. So grateful for you and this channel. God bless you!
Thank you so much, Katherine! ♥️
@@TheDailyConnoisseur just speaking the truth and you are so welcome! 💜
❤️🥰🙏🏼
Amen 🙏🏻
Introversion can be a blessing in disguise 😂
"Take it to the Lord in prayer" I agree with everything you said, Jennifer. You are a breath of fresh air in our culture today. God bless you and your family.
I find when I get angry is to clean something, scrubbing is a great reliever of negative energy. Failing that a walk, often starts out a stomping match but ends in a calm walk. I find I can’t pray when angry, but I need something to expend that tumult of emotion before I can do anything else.
So if my oven sparkles you know I was stressed in some way 😉
Yes! Me too. Great tip!
This is what my mom did when she was upset when both my sister and I went living abroad. She was not mad, but sad though.
Hahahaha. This is what I've started doing. Unfortunately my husband has caught on (anger isn't directed at him, btw) and now every time I get really aggressive about cleaning he asks me "what did your sister say this time?" 😆😆😆
Lol, take it out on the oven! Brilliant!
Love this! 😊
"The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger."
-Prophet Muhammad
this quote helps me when I'm getting angry and reminds me where true strength is.
Thank you for this video we all need that reminder as many times as possible ♥️
I pray every single day asking the Lord to help me think before I speak and to monitor my thoughts so anything hurtful or negative won't become words. I have grown in this area relying on this source of strength. It is amazing how many verses in Scripture are about our words. When my sons were young, they knew if I started praying out loud they had pushed my buttons and it was time to behave.
I too pray each day that the Lord will season my conversations with salt and put a guard over my lips……. Make my words like a honey comb so I will know how to build others up…. This is so important to me ! I definitely am so guilty of not pausing ….. before I speak.
@@elizabethwinderweedle1704 hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
I do the same with my child 🥰 Prayer is essential 🙏🕊
My mom was born and raised in London. She would've been in her early 80s. Her stock response to rudeness was always a soft but firm "Oh I beg your pardon." Very blessed to have had my mother for this and many other reasons. Yes, the peace that surpasses all understanding. Thank you for this excellent channel! God bless!
Wow Jennifer, when you revealed your heart in prayer it struck such a chord in me. As a Christian this is our source, our strength, for me it's really everything. If I neglect this area then I'm capable of every ugly reaction. Thank you for your transparency here, it's invaluable 💖
I agree!
Completely agree!
Agreed! Prayer is so powerful and necessary. Cast your cares on Jesus. His yoke is easy and his burden is light. This is what gives us the peace that surpasses understanding and the ability to carry ourselves in truth and grace, just as he did. ♡
Yes, I'm so grateful you shared this. Prayer is crucial.
But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. Matthew 6:6 (KJV)
May God richly bless you Jennifer and may God Bless us all.
Great advice, Jennifer! Whenever I overreact, this acronym has served me well: HALT! And then ask, am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.
Mine would be HHALT - am I Hungry, Hormonal, ....... 🤣🤣🤣
I've also heard HALTS (Sick)
I learned this over many years in NA :)
"The peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus." I recently learned what peace comes from staying in the presence of Jesus with my anger, my anxiety, and my anxiety about not-so-perfect social interactions. I received real solace there. I hope to do it over and over again. Thank you for the reminder.
Me too 😉
It is amazing how much less road rage I feel when I schedule in an extra 10 to 15 minutes cushion when I’m driving somewhere. If I get there early I can watch TH-cam on my phone. When there are other drivers doing things I think are stupid I can let it roll off my back when I know it is not going to cause me to be late.
Elizabeth Langheim, hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
It feels like humans are becoming more animalistic as time goes on. We are conditioned to react immediately (reaction videos etc) I’m not sure why people think we are evolving?
I love your question mark....evolving? 🤔....I don't think so either !!!
Does feel like that sometimes though evolution doesn't always happen universally.. our actions and reactions vary very greatly.. genetics, external environmental factors, free will, personal growth/self awareness/reflection, all effect us developmentally.
I think of evolution as a long term change. Transformation can be instantaneous…..
I hate reaction videos. What is wrong with collecting and preparing thoughts on something of importance?
I just finished a book called “How to be Free from Bitterness” by Pastor Jim Wilson. Although I am naturally averse to confrontation and not highly reactive outwardly, I have struggled so much with inward anger and what to do with it. Society says you need to talk about it, Christians say you need to give it to God, but I didn’t really know what that meant! This book was such a huge eye-opener to me! Don’t let bitterness and anger grow in your heart, confess it continually to God! Thanks for the great video, Jennifer! Keep it classy, friends! 😂
I just downloaded that after hearing about it on What Have You! 👍🏼
Thank you for mentioning it. This might be just what I need right now. Found it available on our library system! :-)
th-cam.com/video/hstMUCbASUI/w-d-xo.html
How to Be Free From Bitterness" Lund 6 minutes
And this is love, that we walk after his commandments. This is the commandment, That, as ye have heard from the beginning, ye should walk in it. 2 John 1:6 (KJV)
If ye love me, keep my commandments.
John 14:15 (KJV)
He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live.
Proverbs 4:4 (KJV)
.
By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments. 3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous. 4 For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, [even] our faith. 5 Who is he that overcometh the world, but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of God?
1 John 5:2-5 (KJV)
@@marebear09 love What Have You! That’s where I heard about it too! 😊
@@thekingsdaughter4233 you’re welcome! It’s also on audible and pretty short! :)
I needed this. I struggle with this sometimes as I’m passionate about a lot of aspects of life. I usually am told that I’m ‘pleasant’ or ‘elegant’, but I’m not always (mainly behind closed doors). Especially the state the world is in today, it’s frustrating to have people bring a topic up that is upsetting or you may passionately disagree with.
Thank you so much for this video!
Behind closed doors. Yes! haha I can relate ♥️
I totally relate! I’ve been told that I’m passionate, but there is a fine line between being passionate and being a crazy maker! I want to balance my passion wit wisdom and calmness.
@@LoriSkees Yes! So true!
@@TheDailyConnoisseur that's in the bible. "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry," James 1:19. The issue you are talking about in your video.
😡Ooooh, so your housemates or family are then on the receiving end of your anger? Or they have to even watch it. That's not a good thing.
Love that you shared your faith in such a respectful way. Thank you for letting your light shine, and not “hiding it under a basket”. 💕
I've been practicing this with my adult children and grandchildren. Mainly I've learned that my "opinion" is not necessary that I am there to love and support their decisions. I've come a long way too, BUT, I need to practice this more with the love of my life, my husband. Wonderful video, great tips. Thank you.
Amen. I am learning that lesson too with my adult children.
I am struggling terribly with the over involvement of my mother in law. I’m praying and trying to handle things in a Christian way. I’m in tears as I type this, and I wish I had someone to talk to who wasn’t connected to the situation. If anyone see this and feels inclined…please say a prayer for me. Thank you.
@@ELDELD 🙏🙏💕
Me too!
Agree with you @KCallaAK …Everything you said…
Thank you Jennifer! Lately I've been very distressed by the current culture, and your tips were spot on and helpful for cultivating sanity and peace :)
Perfect timing, Jennifer. I've been dealing with such high anxiety (like everyone else) and have been trying to remind myself that I may just be overreacting just because everyone else is overreacting. I don't have problems with anger but fear gets me. I'm watching for those triggers and reminding myself to turn to prayer when i feel panicky.
I'm so sorry about the anxiety you and all of us are experiencing. I agree being thoughtful and calm does the least harm. But the term 'over reacting' shouldn't apply, imo, to the unprecidented human, moral, environmental, democratic, impartial rule of law horror that is going on mainly in your country for the last few years. Humanity and hope is at stake. Hard to over react I think. But how to channel it for peace, health, and hope. We may be all there is in the whole universe, and we're circling the drain. We certainly need to pray hard.
Me too !!!!! Fear/ Anxiety!!
Me too !! My anxiety is off the scale and it’s largely due to my fear of uncertainty.
@@catherine, I hope you’re doing okay. It’s wonderful to know that God is in control and many say, “Things aren’t falling apart, they’re falling into place,” as *the Biblical End-Times Prophecies are all coming together, and Jesus is coming back soon!*
For anyone who doesn’t believe this. Consider this:
*The Bible is the only book with 100% accurate Prophecy.* Many of these were written hundreds of years before they came to pass, and the Dead Sea Scrolls prove this.
*The Bible is real. Jesus is real.* Seek Him with a humble and open heart, and you’ll find Him!!
Jesus died on the cross and *shed His blood to pay the price for our sins.* He was buried and rose three days later (and was later taken up to heaven, but He left the Holy Spirit for us!). 🕊 *1 Corinthians 15*
If you *believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead* and *confess with your mouth that He is Lord,* you will be saved. Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved! ❤️ *Romans 10*
God bless everyone here! 🕊
I pray the Rosary and God gets me through everything and anything. The Rosary is the gospel on beads and it really grounds me. 🙏💕
The rosary is not the Gospel, please read the Bible.
I pray the rosary often as well. God is so good to give us ways to deal with life's pain and sufferings.
“The Rosary is the best therapy for these distraught, unhappy, fearful, and frustrated souls, precisely because it involves the simultaneous use of three powers: the physical, the vocal, and the spiritual…”
- Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
@ Sweet Mary - Thanks for your comment. I love it! I notice that when I pray the Rosary and ask Mother Mary to help me, she always does! It always brings me internal peace, and psychological well being. God bless you!
@@miasoy3568 Apparently you do not know the Gospel much less the foundation of the Rosary and its origins. The Rosary is a focus on the life of Christ. Each set of mysteries focuses on each of Christ's life cycles from the time he was born all the way to his death and resurrection. All of the Prayers are in the Bible. I recommend you learn it before making negative comments that are not factual.
Something my mom used to say, and I don't know who she was quoting if anyone, was "holding on to anger is like a person picking up a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone... the only one to get burned is you"
My eyes lit up and then teared up when you began to share about your prayer life...the physical act of prayer is not gone; thanks for affirming prayer works!
Wonderful advice. Pause is everything. People are so reactive these days when I'm tempted to respond I say to myself wait until the morning and see if you feel the same way. It reminds me of my grandmother telling me to walk around the block and you'll feel differently about life by the time you get home.
The power of prayer! Thank God for His nearness to us.
I’m going to add a small tip for those of us who really struggle with anger and need to release the energy in a way that’s not blowing our stack: WORK OUT! I can’t tell you how much this has helped me. I vigorous cardio session, a brisk walk, lifting some weights, dancing, etc.
Leslie R, hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
At 17:10 I burst into tears. Thank you for the reminder to pray. May the Lord continue to use you for His glory!
Absolutely Jennifer! People have told me all my life, they see me as confident, calm, and elegant. The only thing that steadies me is bowing before God's Throne of Grace, asking to be filled with His Holy Spirit and that I will be useful to His purposes, each day, in my speech, my actions, my thoughts and my prayers. This is the only way, I can genuinely Love others, remain calm and grow in wisdom, the only way. ❤️🙏❤️ For me, prayer is a huge part of worship, showing The Lord that I rely on Him only for every breath and every moment, not my education, achievements, beauty or fleshly pride, it's all Jesus, and His provision. May God continue to bless you and strengthen you dear Jennifer ❤️🙏❤️
Amen!! This is sooo good. Amen, Sis. His Grace and Holy Spirit is our wisdom, our calm, our steadfast anchor of peace. Bless you.
Oo I needed this! 35 weeks pregnant, hot flashes and super reactive! 😅 My poor husband, bless his heart, he’s been so patient with me. Loved these tips ❤️ what a great way to start off the week! Thank you!
Pregnant women get a free pass... ha!
Years ago I learned about the "Tevye Principle". If you remember in Fiddler on the Roof, every time Tevye is frustrated or angry, he goes to his barn and gives it all to God. Along the same lines, I listened to a talk called "Give Your Love to You Loved Ones and Your Frustrations to the Lord." I am still working on this, and this video was a timely reminder! Thanks Jennifer!
What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.
Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Are we weak and heavy laden,
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he'll take and shield thee
thou wilt find a solace there.
@@kerrywatson8581 This song also came to my mind. Thanks for posting.
@@1Thessalonians5.21 hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
Not getting enough sleep definitely makes it easier to not overreact
Thank you for inspiring us to become elegant creatures! And having a calm and healthy and gentleness about us! I'm 70 years old and pretty fit for my age but want to become healty; and keep my character and ; faith in this atmosphere of moodiness and indifference! I got spanked for sassy Ness! But stood my ground! Love how you and the comments others noted about hashing! I tell myself Shut up Sharon; but usually after the fact! Thank you for your channel service and Positive Feedback! Self Control is much needed and out of control is completely unhealthy for myself. Take care and again ty everyone! Much Love and Blessings for each one for being a blessing to me!😊❤
Love the word classy. Betting those who do not like it are not.
yes. prayer is everything. i'm learning to cultivate the pause, my tone, and my facial expressions. it's a daily struggle. i'm also learning i cannot manage another's emotions or moods. can't control how another responds or reacts. i appreciate your content. Thankyou.
Goodmorning all! A video on remaining unbothered and classy - what a great way to begin the week.
Lately, I have been in quite a few situations where I didn't overreacted, remained classy and all ended well. A calm and classy attitude will sometimes allow others too to PAUSE and refrain from losing control.
So true, Nadege
I agree 100%😊
This was a great topic! I've gotten better with overreacting over the years but this is a great reminder why not to let yourself be bothered. It's not about the other person, but about maintaining your own dignity, and yes, remaining classy! Thanks Jennifer for this inspiration!
Dear Jennifer,
I have been watching your channel for years and reread your books every summer. I do not usually comment on videos, but hearing you talk about this topic was wonderful and struck a chord.
I am grateful for your candor and your willingness to share your faith in this video. I also valued your thoughts on overreacting about one’s core values. I hope this video is seen by many, especially in this age of reacting so quickly to most things in the news/media.
Thank you again for all your hard work with your channel, blog, and literature. The topics you discuss are an oasis for me in this fast and chaotic world.
Brittany
Thank you, Brittany! ♥️
Thank you for these reminders. A tool that I use when others do things that hurt or offend me is to tell myself that it is not about me. It is about something that they are going through.
I'm looking forward to practicing 10 ways to stop embarrassing myself. 😅
Very thoughtful, kind, well presented topic Jennifer. When you shared going into your closet and crying to God in prayer, it reminded me of Footprints on the Sand. It's those moments, seasons in life that can alter you in such a way that you sob to God. In the midst of this natural disaster storm like problems, He is carrying you and calming your soul. It's pure bliss in the midst of anarchy. It takes time to learn these life lessons. I'm studying the Proverbs now just to remind myself how to live well. 🌺💗😊
To put things into perspective Hellen Glaskow used Epictetus quote. She did exactly what everyone else of her profession does. They repeat everything Greek philosophers taught. Epictetus said that all external events are beyond our control; do we should accept whatever happens calmly and dispassionately. However, individuals are responsible for their own actions, which they can examine and control through rigorous self-discipline. My advice? Read Greek philosophy: they said it all!
Better still, read Hindu or Buddhist or any Sanaatan Dharm spiritual content. Because better still they 'lived' it and spoke from those depths.
@@ES-hr8yx hahahahahahaha
@@ES-hr8yx can u recommend a book in Buddhism with these ideals in it. Mainly about anger.
Words of wisdom! Love the emphasis on “pausing,” so many great take aways, patience in anger, GIVING it to God, processing before response, not neglecting self care. THANK YOU!
Sheree Moon, hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
I really struggle with controlling my tongue, when someone has hurt me it is hard for me to not say a snarky comment in return. I am also extremelly sensitive and this does not bode well in life, I want to remain sensitive and caring without being over emotional and easy to offend. I really needed to hear this message and once again I thank you for your kind spirit. I would love if you dug deeper into these topics and give us some classy responses to other peoples rudeness. I try to ignore it but its not without difficulty. Thank you for sharing about your faith I am a Christian to and would love for you to talk more about your faith, if you feel comfortable doing so.
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but [rather] give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance [is] mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Romans 12:19 Say not thou, I will recompense evil; [but] wait on the LORD, and he shall save thee. Proverbs 20:22 (KJV See that none render evil for evil unto any [man]; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all [men]. 1 Thessalonians 5:15 (KJV)
Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. 1 Peter 3:9 (KJV)
@@1Thessalonians5.21 THANK YOU!!! Script#'s and everything, Wow. Needed. Thank YOU XOXO
Reading the book of James
This is such good advice. I’ve gotten so much better at handling anger. When I was younger I could be hotheaded. About 25 years ago I got so mad at a coworker for what I viewed as a stupid mistake that I made her cry. To be fair she often broke into tears when she was stressed. But I still felt so bad. There was no excuse for my behavior. I learned a good lesson about controlling my temper that I’ve never forgotten. (I did apologize to her)
I’ve been reading about the stoics, Marcus Aurelius, etc. I have learned a lot and have seen results in applying their philosophy. It aligns with my Christian faith’s Fruits of the Spirit. I am a calmer woman. That is saying a lot since I am a Highly Sensitive Person and an introvert. I love to learn and to seek wisdom in the ways that I can continue to strive to be my best self. Daily Connoisseur is a part of that pursuit. Thank you , Jennifer, if I may call you that, for responding to your calling. Best wishes.
I bought the book on Marcus Aurelius, and love the quotes. He was so clear and balanced in his philosophy and approach to life!
@@Sacred-Heart-of-Jesus829 hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
This is probably one of your best real-life videos I’ve heard. This is a huge immaturity in me. Ive regretted many outbursts, but never regretted keeping my temper. If someone really needs talking to, do it later in an atmosphere of respect and calm with thought. Thank you for the many quotes, too. Such a variety of wisdom, and it’s there for the taking.
Thank you for your work, Jennifer. In my long life, I have encountered various people and situations. I was brought up in a very good, elegant and always polite family. That was bliss for me! But, I found out that the world isn't like that at all! It's a harsh and nasty world. That's the truth. And, I had a hard time to adapt to that reality. It took me decades. Especially, also to realise that being polite or elegant isn't very welcome in most places, or with a lot of people. On the surface it is, but very fast people will take you for granted. Will trigger you, more and more. Will brush off their bad behavior on to you. If you don't react to a certain extent on their level, they will want to put you down even more, hurt you so much, that it's vital to put things straight with their language. In my long experience, only that type of mannerism has worked.
After that, silence. 🙏
Thank you, Jennifer. I realize this video is several months old, but its message is timeless. I particularly like your first and last points, but each one is valuable. James says if we're able to control our tongues we are perfect (complete). You say this in a different way, but the points are the same. I appreciate it.
These rules are so important and as a senior I've learned over the years to use them.
I should have watched this before I got out of bed.
Thank you Jennifer, the wonderful comments say what I couldn't possibly...I'm 20 years older than you and find in you a gracious mentor. You have such a calming stabilizing effect on me. Blessings!
I am one to be an introvert in public spaces but at home completely lose it over the small things. I have two small children and sometimes it’s hard to remain calm! These were some great tips for me :)
Oh to hold the "tongue". This is my cross to bear. I prayed to God so often to have control over my words. He has helped me so much with that but I haven't "arrived" yet. I'm sure I won't until I step out of this flesh. 🙏🙏🙏
Your video is a blessing in modern times!
We need to be elegant at home too.
Erma Bombeck said, “A child needs your love most when he deserves it least”
You have such a beautiful laughter, it's contagious 🌺🙂
No comfort comes close to being in your prayer closet and laying it all at the feet of Jesus. Thank you for your videos.
really needed this today. the Dali Lama says, "religion teaches us to control ourselves, not to criticize others". THANK YOU
I have a couple of ‘tools’ that help me to be more discreet and not overact or speak too hastily in most situations. The first is to wait a couple days before responding. Usually, over reactions are a passing emotion or distortion of reality. Sitting on the matter for a couple days allows me to really discern if it’s just a passing thought/feeling or something substantial that does need to be voiced/addressed in an appropriate context/manner. My other tool is to journal! Journaling helps me to think through a matter or problem so that if I do find it necessary to respond, I’m approaching it from a logical position instead of an emotional one. 😊
This brought tears to by eyes it’s all so true and so real. I thank you for bringing this to the front of my thoughts and heart 💜
I have definitely grown in this area. I actually never raise my voice now. When I’m in a hurry, and I get stopped at a red light or the traffic is heavy, I try to express gratitude for it and say, “God would have me wait.” ❤
Beautiful reminder ❤️
Love the final tip the most ...Give it to God
Thanks so much for this topic! I woke up this morning feeling uneasy and anxious about the world.
I just wanted to thank you for the way you approached prayer and faith. I loved that you shared how that’s a part of your life and how your advise for using prayer as a tool in such an open, inclusive and respectful way. I really, really loved that. Thank you for showing how to be chich and elegant with the topic of religion and faith!
Helen Jansson, hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
Hi Jen, I loved this. Great tips, and some that we all need to remind ourselves of on a regular basis! I loved the proverbs. There is another proverb I have always loved. And although it is not directly related to remaining calm and not over-reactiing in a specific moment it is a good one to remember. "Holding onto anger is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
That's a great one too!
Jen H, hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
Hearing you talk about your prayer life makes me love your channel even more. ❤ Also, i completely agree about the vulgarity of society and the elegance we are losing. I homeschool my kids, hoping to pass on these traits that feel more and more rare these days.
Kari Quick, hi how are you?
Jennifer, thank you for this lesson we all so badly need. Thank you especially for sharing your need to pray. I so love hearing other people whom I respect share their faith. And God loves it when we share our faith with others we care about, and give Him glory!♥️
Annette Pellowe, hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
Woah, what a sign! I had a stressful morning and when I opened TH-cam this video popped up. Now let me ease my heart and mind with this calming advice.
Wow, this is a really nice topic, and I think it's needed a lot of reminder. As a Muslim, one of the prayer movements during our 5 daily prayers is actually going on knees face on the floor and praying. This movement is called sujood. The movement itself is good for all limbs of the body, and as a result, you do feel calmer after within the prayer.
Oh boy do I need this. I did this at work for years and recently retired two years ago. Now I think I've enjoyed not worrying about being fired for what I say and I have let down my filters. I am now trying to reign it in. The politics and vitriol have really bothered me, yet I catch myself adding to it. I've been in Facebook jail too many times. Thank you for posting this. I need a tune up.
This video was at the perfect time for me. My husband and I are helping an elderly friend. Anyone that has done this knows that your words today and going in the
closet to pray is great advice 🙏 Thank you Jennifer.
I do needed this! My husband and I have recently dealt with a very heartbreaking and humiliating situation that just outraged us and we both just wanted to lash out. We have been each other’s sounding board so that we don’t do anything rash that we will regret later.
This is beautiful, Jennifer. Prayer makes all the difference!
Have you seen "The Chosen" yet? It is so beautiful, too!
We love watching “the Chosen” too!
@@shaunmcarthur745 , so many people recommended it to us before we finally took the time to watch. We shouldn't have waited because it is just the best!
And now we're so grateful to God for bringing it to all of us at this time. 🙏
Thank you for replying 💗
@@tonicarey971 hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
I so appreciate spending time with you Jennifer, You have helped me tremendously to keep calm and remain classy. Your channel is my go to when I need a boost of encouragement.
LOVED this video! I really needed to hear all of this. We are living through a divisive and disturbing time. Your tips for pausing, and looking at the big picture instead of getting enraged at what is going on around me are spot on! Thanks so much.
Thank you for sharing. Such important reminders that we can learn not to be so quickly reactionary. And thank you, for sharing your thoughts on handing it over to God in prayer. While that message may not resonate with everyone, I think it resonates with many people. As you mentioned, society is really a mess right now, and I feel a sense of more love and fellowship with people of all faiths❤ It's as if we need each other and the commonality we have to help us get through challenging times. Any doctrinal or traditional differences seem less important than just building each other's faith.
Absolutely!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🌿🌿🙏
I keep coming back to re-watch this video lol. I'm SO grateful for you and this community you've created! Your presence really makes the world a better place.
I was always taught, as a child, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." The "pause" you mentioned, is an important element of that. Thank you for this content. I hope it reaches far and wide. 🙂
OMG I just told my husband that I am really angry with everything it is happening! And I also told him that we need to pray more.
And what a coincidence I writing these and you just said the same thing. Yes and to give it to God. We need no ask Him to give us peace and to calm us because when you see the news and the crazy world you can get really overwhelmed and sad !
I’m so proud of you for sharing these tips , and especially your honesty about your prayer life !! Prayer is my lifeline !
I also used to be more hot-headed in my temper. I think age has mellowed me. At least I hope it has ! I’m currently in hospital recovering from major surgery and have made a point to thank every nurse, doctor, cleaner etc who cares / visits me during the day. They are all overworked and underpaid and I believe we mustn’t forget to thank those who are often taken for granted. Direct eye contact and a sincere thank you can mean so much in today’s busy world.
Your makeup and hair look particularly pretty in this video. Best wishes from Australia 🇦🇺
What a refreshing alternative to the noise of the world. Thank you for your wisdom and honesty.
One of your best videos ever. Thank you so much for this!
Go, Jennifer!!! God is the answer. Good job being bold!
Thank you for this! I am a Christian so I’m often in my “closet” also. I love these videos on class, elegance and dignity! I’m trying to practice this in my life. It’s is not always easy to keep myself in check but I am ALWAYS glad when I do 😊 Keep the videos coming!
The Serenity Prayer is priceless in life. Helps to ground me. Keeps my vision of reality in perspective. Cause life is simply hard. And prayer simply helps.
You shared so beautifully and openly about your prayer life, thank you! That is the most important and effective way for me too. And actually includes all the other tips: when communicating with God I need to pause (1), I become more aware of my reactions(2), I rely on his promise that in all things (even when someone is hurting me) He works for the good of those who love Him and will somehow help me turn those negative things into something good (3), His love calms my anger and helps me control my tongue (4&5), being with Him is the best self-care😊 and taking good care of myself is also a way to love and honor Him who created me (6) and finally seeing things from His perspective is truly looking at the big picture (7)!😊 Great tips, thank you Jennifer!
I really enjoyed this video. I have struggled in this area. I definitely agree that no good ever comes from reacting while you are angry as afterwards you usually regret it and feel silly. Waiting until you are calm and then deciding whether to respond in a measured way is the best approach. I would like to see more videos on topics like this. Thank you!
Joanne Jackson, hi good morning how are you?
I'm so incredibly proud of you for sharing your faith and prayer life! I could not function without God as my center. ❤
I find that figuring out how to deal with predictable stresses BEFORE they happen (having a plan of what to say/do/think) is also REALLY helpful. Spending time in prayer and reflection about them and even journaling about them is so important!
Your story about the rude man on the freeway reminded me of the road rage situation in California where a little boy was shot and died. The ability to control our words and reactions will save us from a world of trouble. Thank you for honestly sharing the origin of your peace. His love can restrain our out of control emotions when we feel powerless to control them.
This is an absolutely beautiful video, Jennifer! I needed these reminders. Thank you for the work you do to beautify and uplift our world. God Bless and keep you!
Amen! Thank the Lord.. I was hotheadedly texting back in regards to an accusation just last week and I was messing up the words but didn't want to call and really escalate the situation. So I just stopped, prayed, and typed a simple "okay".. It never went any further. And I realized the persons are under more pressure these days.. I can let the perceived insult go. 🙏👍💕 I had an enjoyable conversation with one of the persons on the call a couple days later and pray the other person comes around soon.
I searched for this video. I needed to hear it, so badly. I am triggered by a certain department where I work and today I let my tongue runaway with me. I have sought out God for help. And watched this video. Thank you.
Gosh I’ve truly needed this. It’s been a lifelong struggle for me. I always remind myself of Marmee from little women. She struggled with a quicker temper too and spent many years of her life learning to curb it. I always reread that and try to encourage myself to do the same
I used to never even feel what people call anger... It was so preached against in my growing up years that I subconsciously turned it inward. I only was ever mad or down on myself. I was critical of others, but never angry.
In the last few years I've learned that anger has a purpose...usually as a response to injustice. I now feel the anger, and that is ok. It's healthy. I just have to pause and think about the right response, as you said.
There is nothing wrong with being angry, it’s natural sometimes, especially if you see someone being mistreated. It’s the reaction that can be wrong.
The Bible says, ‘be angry and sin not’!
Being humble, having humility.