Lol thets exactly what I was thinking. A drama version would be better if u want characters who aren't horrible human beings if u glance for too long. Sitcoms are known for it
I agree and I'm 47 yrs old I had two sons just recently I told them I have DID they had no idea so yes you can raise your kids up normal with DID with very little issues and for the most part I was single mom by choice running a business, each of my alters doing their part, this is a disorder I live with not suffer with and love dearly all my group
@@techiesimmer : I think a big part of it is understanding that our parents will never have been perfect. They're human too. Even if they had been put in a position of perfect mental health, they still would have made decisions that could effect our overall mental health. Even picture perfect parents can scar their children. And even though it should never be the child's job or even expected of a child, sometimes having a person that loves and depends on you can be exactly what saves you from yourself. Now having said that, I don't think that anyone should ever decided to jump into parenthood with reckless abandon. Don't expect becoming a parent to fix everything that's "wrong" with you. It's not fair to bring a feeling human being into the world if you aren't going to take care of them in the way that all children deserve. And I guess part of it is about finding a balance in your parent/child relationship. When you're a parent you shouldn't expect anything of your child, and when you're a child you shouldn't expect too much. That's a recipe for disappointed. A parent can give you their everything, and still leave you wanting more. We all have hard moments we have to get through in our lives and we all have moments that define who we are. Accepting who you are as a person is the first step of excepting who your parents are as well. Sometimes we have to except that they will never be who or what we want them to be, but we can still accept who they are and try and move on. Sometimes the expectations that we have for others end up only holding ourselves back.
Also doesn't her husband try to sleep with T? Who is a 15 year old alter? I feel like he really shouldnt be able to do that and have it be shown as ok. Young alters are vulnerable and T is obviously hypersexual due to trauma. Of course T shouldn't be with real life teens (that storyline was BAD) but she shouldn't be with a regular adult either, regardless of her body's age. She just should not be having sex.
You live "your" whole freaking life without sex! 15 is just a number 16, 17, 24, 36, 29...DID... ok it's like this, consensual with respect to others and I'm talking about legal adults with DID and their partner.
Max did not try to have sex with T, she tried to have sex with him. I wish people would actually watch the show instead if making up things that never happened. I've watched the entire show twice and that's how I know the chick who made this video didn't actually watch it because she said multiple things that were wrong about it.
Keep in mind that its scripted, and as the story shows, Max was celibate in that Tara did not want sex and if I recall right, Tara did not want him to have sex with the others.
I really loved the show for entertainment purposes, but you made solid points. It's clear in retrospect that it was created to entertain neuro normatives and was not respectful or inclusive of those with DID
@@sadlyicanbarelyread5409 it's really sad but true? sad that they are convinced it is a "split"? Did you mean that? I think it is. Hey I was wondering about this.. 1. do we need a channel that tells the truth? [spoiler,,it won't look ANYTHING like this one] 2. lol!b how long after these persons get their inkling or diagnosis...? do you think it takes before they have these like fully defined outlines or umm, identities? of their "alters" ?
I mean, I know that not everyone is like this, but - when I want to learn about something, I look up articles or things like this, not a tv show. Sure, it’s easier to learn things with something for entertainment (for some people), but surely they must see that how they portray it might not actually be accurate, but warped to be entertaining?
i refuse to watch 13 reasons why, the characters look superficial. and they make a mockery of delicate issues , like acquisition of disability after a traumatic life experience.
Me too. But I'm glad at least that they open us up to conversations like this. I'm not ashamed to talk about my mental health in large because of TH-camrs such as ES x
I started watching United States of Tara and stopped after three episodes. I really think that because they actually did research on how DID functions, it is even worse that they show a disfunctional system in a disfunctional family as an okay example of a person with DID. They avoid certain storytelling tropes harmful to DID but confirm stereotypes of DID. That's worse, I think.
@@angiegamez8600 Yeah, it really makes it clear how they don't really understand the impact such a negative representation would have on the community as a whole. Tunnel vision, sort of--they think, she's this complex character being played by an award-winning actress so that automatically is supposed to = pathos, but when you're stacked against terrible example after terrible example, the result was just always going to be so negative overall.
Ironically, I have an alter named Alice who is a 50’s housewife “archetype” but she doesn’t even swear. She helps with chores, microwave cooking recipes, she wants to have a family and get married, she’s close to God. I, the host, Georghia, am an atheist but she doesn’t have bad qualities. I have two potentially violent alters (but even though they are mainly rage and trauma infused they do it to protect us, so they’re not “bad” alters. Even Scarlett who hates me so much she’d rather I was dead, and hurts the body more than I do, is not “bad” she’s hurting. When I get back into therapy I really want to try bridging the gap between us but she’s so angry and hurting so much I don’t know how. She just backs away from me and yells and hurts us. I learned to stop calling them bad alters, and even though they’re still very complicated and there’s a lot of negative, they’re not bad. It’s hard. I’ve had alters since I was 7, but I thought they were just imaginary friends, two of my littles, then they went dormant until I was 18 and I had a traumatic experience which created more and one came back from dormancy. The second came back last year. I’m at 13 now. USOT made me feel the same; are my three volatile alters going to hurt people like that? Are they going to drive everyone away? Get me killed? Arrested? Sectioned?
My dream is to become a well known film editor and I want my future films to help people understand the misunderstood and those who just needs something to feel like they’re not alone. I’m hoping one day I can make a film that correctly represents D.I.D. because it interests me so much and I think it’s not talked about enough and not heard enough. This is why I’ve been binge watching your and many other D.I.D. channels- so I get all the good facts 😂
As someone with DID myself, I can tell you that these DID youtubers are probably the BEST source for learning what DID is really like! Our system hasn't made any videos yet, but we really respect and admire all those who have. What makes these the best source is that the only "agenda" they have is wanting the TRUTH about DID to be known, and fighting to discredit the many untruths that people try to put out there about our disorder. The agenda of most movies about DID is to make money by way of sensationalism, regardless of who might be hurt by inaccurate fictional portrayals of a very real disorder that many people struggle with every day. The agenda of most documentaries that have been made about DID is to make people feel pity for the chaotic mess that they perceive DID to be, and so they try to find the worst cases and emphasize the saddest and most pitiable aspects of their life. There are a few good documentaries out there, like the ones done by the Multiplicity & Me system, but again, that's because their agenda is showing the truth about what we are really like, not the sensationalist bull. Thank you, Lilly, for wanting to help people understand us better. I hope you are able to make that film about DID, and I'm sure many people with DID out there (including ourselves) would be more than happy to help you make your depiction of us as accurate as possible. Please don't give up on your dream, it is a good one! - Leyna Vincent
I've been learning so much from you since my daughter recommended watching The Entropy System. Thank you. I am a clergy person who pastors people with many different needs. I want to add that in this episode I think you especially shine as a role model for emotional health for all people, in all mental states. You demonstrate the clarity of the qualities of respect, responsibility, empathy, love, relational sensitivity and civic engagement. Much gratitude.
Thank you for sharing this. The US of Tara was one of my favorite shows but I'm recovering from a decade of very poor mental health and confronting my traumas so I had to be skeptical about the portrayal of DID on the show because until recently, I felt let down and insulted by characters that were characters that were portraying parts of me.
I really agree very much. Split portrayed it awful, and this is really bad as well. I don’t have DID, but I am bipolar 1 - and every time I tell anyone, they seem frightened. Like I am going to hurt them, that I am crazy and have no control over myself. It really upsets me, because if there is anyone I hurt it is just me, and my family who have to live thru my depression and manic periods. I think there are so many mental disorders that is depicted as tabu, we are crazy people, we can’t control ourselves. I wish I knew someone else with bipolar disorder at my age, so I could share my experiences as “mentally ill”. I really like your channel, I know I can’t know how it is to live with DID only by watching your videos, but I truly understand depression, mania, and anxiety well. My illness was also triggered in childhood, but who knows if I would have have it anyway. Mental illnesses should really be better portrayed than it is now. Love from Norway xx
Trude I’m bipolar 2, and I constantly deal with coworkers talking about how crazy they are, and joking about how anyone moody or grouchy have it. I haven’t told anyone, but it’s just so disheartening hearing how people feel about this.
Jen V yeah, I feel you! And I really get that part about being too scared to tell anyone, because people THINK they know what they are talking about, or they just want to make fun of people that find life a bit harder than them. I really don’t know, because everything is just hurtful and downright offensive. Like, they wouldn’t say that if they had family with the disorder, or if they knew that they knew someone with it. These “harder” disorders are sadly very tabu, and depicted awful. But it seems we all have the same experiences, and that is sad 😔❤️❤️❤️ sending love ❤️❤️
I hate the Hollywood take on mental health. They always play to the extreme. I watched 10 minutes of the first episode and was sick. Im glad this show got cut off. It's sickening.
When Taylor (our host) first came across USoT all of us were hopeful, especially since the actual description said it was about a mother with DID. Personally everyone except Taylor hated the show for pretty much the same reasons you stated and we think it made the thought of working with us harder. Now obviously that has changed and a few of us even have set times where we can be out and work on what we need to but personally I feel it could have happened a lot sooner had it not been for the show. The main pet peeve I had was the portrayal of the teenager alter. It was like they threw every stereotypical action that a teenager would do and ramped it up x10 Anyways, thank you for sharing this and just being a source of information and inspiration. You are the positive representation and we're grateful always.
Thank you for steering me clear of this show. I was hopeful as well as I admire the actresses other work. This fit also introduced to me is relatively new to learning about did the concept of system responsibility. Definitely seeking more resources for someone I know regarding this concept
Thank you for doing this video. I started watching Tara and was feeling incredibly hopeless. Your review has grounded me and given me the courage to defy the negative thoughts Tara caused. You're providing very real help to people. Thank you.
At first, I thought it was a really good show. It was entertaining enough and the story was compelling. I didn't see the issues that came up until I started rewatching it with a friend. It was worse than I remembered it and I still don't know how I looked over the faults in it. It made it harder for be to believe my system could ever take on the idea of "system responsibility," and it distanced me from the idea that anyone could love me while getting along with my alters, and if not completely getting along with them, it would have been nice to have something so realistic enforcing the idea that there would be people who could remain civil with the ones they didn't like. It shook my confidence in being able to have people love me while not separating my alters from myself entirely and treating them like annoying, irrelevant pieces that are only getting in the way. It also gave me an unclear idea about what to do with my more violent alters, and I thought, for a time, I had to learn to find a way to "kill" them, or at least silence them completely. But over time, I'm learning that I *can* find a way to cope with them here, even if I haven't yet found a way to get through to them without suppressing them or, in a sense, stamping out their existence with force.
As a Veteran factive in a system, I can understand the irritation behind the Vietnam Veteran situation. Outer me, served in Vietnam, and the complete misrepresentation of DID is horrendous, at least to me. Your channel is so inspiring and amazing. Good on you for finding the truth in all the nonsense that the general media launches everywhere. -Aiden
Representation is so important in this day and age, especially as more people are being diagnosed in the mental health community. The amount of tv shows I had to just stop watching for my own well being is astounding. People take disorders like DID, bipolar disorder, BPD, schizophrenia, etc and intensify them to fit some sort of..plot line and entertainment value. And like you said, yes, there could be those who do live on the severe side of their disorders. But if they’re going to showcase THAT side of the spectrum, they have an obligation to portray the other side as well. Not everyone with a diagnosis is planning a Purge-esque mass murder or is running around the city at 5am in their underwear, kidnapping babies. Some people are compliant with their treatment plans. Some people live very sensible and functional lives. Some people are even content. It took me so long to fully accept my bipolar and psychosis diagnoses because of the portrayals I was seeing on some of my favorite tv shows. I’ll be damned if the media tries to fit me back into their mold of what my mental health should look like.
Hello Wyn & Co. :) I actually just binge watched (almost) all 3 seasons of USoT - I have 3 episodes left. I have been following your channel for awhile altho I believe I only formally *subscribed* within the last couple months. First, I want to commend you on being an incredibly brave and open advocate for those with mental illness, not just D.I.D. Speaking openly and honestly about the ups and downs, the real fears, trying to reconfigure society's perception (if not created then certainly perpetuated by the media) of mental illness as something inherently dangerous.. not to mention you are incredibly eloquent, well spoken, well researched beyond your own experience. You are a superb representative, advocate, and spokesperson for everyone out there who live day to day trying to function in this world with a mental illness that can be anything from a minor inconvenience to a truly debilitating and life altering affliction but totally misunderstood and misjudged either way. So I thank you for that. I had purposely avoided watching this particular video of yours until I had a chance to check out the show for myself. I just wanted to be able to watch it with fresh eyes and not be influenced by your review (no offense to you, for sure, I just wanted to form my own opinion and critique. I'm sure you understand.) I, myself, do NOT have D.I.D., but I am a licensed behavioral therapist and family counselor who has seen quite a lot over the past 30-something years and am always trying to keep up with new advances, new terminology, new discoveries, differing perspectives, etc. I am mostly interested in educating myself on things that I have little to no personal experience with in my years as a therapist... such as D.I.D. TH-cam may not seem like the best place for "professional education" but honestly watching your videos and hearing your first hand accounts about events, your emotions, your strategies, etc., are just as (honestly, even more so) informative than any book or journal article I read. That's just how I work. And here is my truth: I am no longer actively practicing in the mental health field. Sadly, I have an autoimmune disease (SLE: systemic lupus) that I have battled pretty much forever but in the last several years it has done SO much damage to my body that I am mostly housebound and bedridden. I also suffer from depression and anxiety, some of which can be considered 2ndary to lupus but to be perfectly frank, I'd probably have those diagnoses with or without the cruel mystery that is lupus. Anyway, even though my body is failing me, for the time being I still have my mind, my education, my experience, and my desire tho help people who are struggling. I do occasionally offer my services free of charge (via computer and/or telephone) to those who want help but can't afford it for whatever reason, crappy insurance, no insurance, just limited finances (all things I understand very well) I do inform them that I cannot prescribe anything and if I feel their problem is more serious than I am equipped to treat, I will find alternative choices that are free/low-cost/sliding scale what have you. And even if I do that, I am still available as part of that person's support system, an extra ear to listen, shoulder to cry on, etc. I apologize for the super long (and I'm sure seemingly narcissistic) comment; I'm just trying to give you a thumbnail sketch of who I am and why it is I do still keep up with the world of mental health if I am no longer actively employed within it. If you (or anyone else for that matter) have further questions for me, please go ahead and ask. Okay, moving onto United States of Tara... I remember when the series was airing for the first time, my sister had seen a few episodes and told me I should watch it (she knows I cannot resist either books or movies, be they good or bad, that involve mental health, developmental disabilities, and cults - I am truly fascinated by cults and the psychology of both the people who found and lead them and the people who join them! ) However, I did not have Showtime so I was unable to do so. Thus, this recent viewing is my first rodeo. I know I have a few episodes left to watch, but I believe I have seen enough to voice an opinion. First, I DID watch your video and I agree with most if not everything you said. While technically, D.I.D. was presented correctly, clinically speaking, the alters themselves did not make much sense, and seemed to only be there to cause trouble and make other people uncomfortable. That is not their purpose... alters come into being to take on and help manage, compartmentalize, or just totally hide the memories of the host's trauma. I can see an alter emerging as a protector or aggressor if the host is in a situation where she is in danger or about to have a severe anxiety attack or something. I take issue with the scenes portraying the alters coming out simply to cause trouble or satisfy their own needs, no matter what their host (Tara) might be in the middle of doing. In short, the alters are all pretty awful and it makes you wonder what each one's actual role is, because very rarely do they come out in order to protect Tara. As for Tara herself, I think I found her to be a more sympathetic character than you did, although her refusal to ever take responsibility for anything that "Not Me" did was EXTREMELY annoying to me. Also annoying to me: the missed opportunity the writers had to offer SOME explanation as to WHY each alter is so awful and why Tara herself is a bit selfish and really, really good at making herself the victim of everything, even stuff her alters do. I know this comment is already stupidly ridiculously long but stay with me for just a tiny bit longer. I'm not going to address EVERY aspect of the show that I thought was good or problematic, just this particular one. Okay, as far as Tara goes, while her selfishness and often inappropriate neediness and frustrating, largely unspoken demand for her own caretaking from her husband and children is annoying and likely doesn't endear her to the audience. It clearly doe not endear her to the other characters on the show! However, while the show BARELY touches on it, it does provide enough info to allow the viewer to figure out WHY she may act that way and be a little more empathetic to her. The way Tara's sister and parents treat her, accusing her of "acting" and being dramatic as neither of them believes her regarding her condition, you can assume she did not grow up with a strong support system. Even her sister's behavior and personality (she is VERY self-involved and also avoids taking responsibility for her mistakes and indiscretions) indicate that neither of them had a happy childhood, felt safe and secure in their own home, and likely did hot have had much of a support system back then either. It makes sense for them to be self-involved and feel absolved from responsibility as they likely developed those traits while very young and trying to be their own support system. Tara's therapist, Dr. Ocean, eventually drops her as a client because, as she admitted early on in the series, she really doesn't know much about D.I.D. and had never treated it before. The doctor felt she was not qualified to go any further with Tara's treatment, so what she did was the ethical thing to do. However, Dr. Ocean being part of adult Tara's support system and then, as Tara sees it, abandoning her simply reinforces those feelings of being alone, unworthy, and unable to trust anyone but herself - whom she feels a bit shaky about too. I do have some thoughts about the alters and why they might be so awful but this post is long enough already. Maybe another day. Keep up the good work, Wyn!!!
My jaw dropped at the medication thing. Woooow. I remember being put on Depakote as a teen to help with my "mood swings" (but in reality were switches) and of course it didnt help! No medication can stop switching. My therapist was clear very early on that theres no medicine to "cure" DID. To help adjacent syptoms like severe anxiety and depression? Sure! But dissociation needs grounding, not mood stabilizers or god forbid sedatives. Thank you for anothervawesome vid! Your channel is one of our favorites to watch. Youre all relateable and thank you for the work you do.
Ugh! Thank you for the review, we have avoided that show and will now continue to do so. My pet peeve is that the media always makes alters out to be such extreme personalities. None of us are that way, yes we are obviously different people but there isn't a really angry one, a really shy one etc. We are pretty much as well-rounded as everyone else. It is also unrealistic because our system, like most, did their best to appear to be the same person for years. The whole point was to protect from us being hurt so we wouldn't go out of way to act to dramatic extremes where we could be pointed out and it would become obvious that there was something different. We spend most of the time all trying to desperately stay safe and blend in, not to try to make it even more dangerous for ourselves. - Lin
Tara was *very* toxic to our system, and we've just started picking the pieces back up now, almost ten years later. The creators should be ashamed... But they probably don't even care.
When watching the show I thought about how people in the DID community must feel, and if any of the show was harmful. I’m sorry to hear that the show was so toxic to your system.
Stuff like this makes me so happy that I learned about DID, and from there that I have it, via channels from systems like yours. So much added pain on top of the trauma I only know the very edges of, avoided because I had good representation with relatively healthy systems to understand my own system, and begin catering to more than just one alter's interests, now that I'm aware that not only are they people as well, but that they can be good, safe, people, that not everyone is some kind of persecutor just because we have arguments. Thank you so much for being here, being better than popular media.
Hi Wyn! We just found your channel from watching a video on DissociaDID regarding SPLIT and Glass. How did we miss this show? But after listening to your video, sounds like we didn't miss anything worthwhile. Can't wait to go back and watch your other videos. Just wanted to say Hi and say as an almost 51 yr old DID patient living with this disorder I can say as the Co-Manager that we have two grown children that are wonderful, responsible, articulate and well-rounded people that have full-time jobs and our daughter is married with two children herself. So again, nice to meet you and can't wait to see your other videos. ♥ Lani ♥
i'm planning on writing a musical about a multiple and every time i hear about something in the media that didn't get it right, it makes me want to get it right even more.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings on this show. The entertainment industry definitely has a far way to go to an accurate portrayal of DID and most other mental illnesses as well.
I have DID and love United States of Tara just because Toni Collette is an incredible actress. Also, I love Max. I love all of Tara’s alters as well. The show has a lot of flaws, but there is also a lot to like about it.
This was a really good review. Thank you for making. As someone who does not have DID, I honestly do like the show, but I also see all of the issues with it that you're pointing out, and completely agree. I'd really like to write/be a part of making a show where the main character has DID, but isnt a villain, or problematic in the way that U.S.T. was, and this review really helped me to nail down what some of those issues and concerns are.
Wyn (and the rest of the ES crew): I'm so glad I found your channel, and this video specifically. I do not have DID myself, so my only experience with it up to now has been United States of Tara. When I first started watching your videos I was shocked at what DID is really like because it's so different from what I saw on USofT. Tara's alters are all portrayed as downright menaces, and they cause nothing but mayhem and pain for Tara and her family. As I've learned from your channel (and a few others I've watched in the last few days), alters are created by the mind as a means of protection from trauma and they persist in adulthood for a similar purpose, but there's no sense of that in Tara's case at all. While they did show that Tara's alters emerged when she was in a moment of particular stress, the alters just seemed to cause trouble for Tara and the family and then just disappear. As you said, this gives a much different and much scarier depiction of DID than what you've experienced. My first thought about you when I saw you had DID was "Oh, that's so awful. She's condemned to a life of suffering and pain." because that's what I learned from USofT. I'm so glad that's not the reality for you or for a lot of people with DID. I wish they'd made an effort to depict the real reason DID occurs and how a DID system is not just a collection of wacky, scary characters that show up unannounced and cause trouble, but how you function as a *system* to take care of each other and take care of you. Tara's alters did not communicate with each other at all and there was no sense of "this is a team effort and we're here to take care of Tara." I was surprised to find out from you that your alters all "live" together in a shared space in your head that manifests itself as a physical place and that most of them communicate with each other. Rather than the total chaos and strife depicted in USofT, your system seems pretty functional and doesn't seem to terrorize your family and friends on a daily basis. Anyway, this comment is super long, but the upshot is that USofT depicted DID as a lifetime of terror and suffering, and I'm so relieved to find out that it's not (always) like that.
I hear where you're coming from, but I personally loved the show, and would rank it in my top 4 favorite shows of all time. Mostly, I think it's a show showing us Toni Collette's masterful acting. The fact that she can portray these 4 characters (and sometimes more) so distinctly is awe inspiring (not to mention her American accent is the best I've seen on a female actress). I didn't love season 3, but I was devastated when it ended so abruptly. I loved that the show took chances and was so unique for its time (this is before Netflix started regularly producing television shows). I loved Tara's kids, and their unique characters. Also, it got me super interested in DID. I realize that it's an extreme dramatization of the disorder, but if it wasn't for the show, I'm not sure I would have learned about DID as much as I have since. There were lots of interesting things about the show (it's been awhile, so I don't remember them all). However, as much as I loved the show (and I did), I would never tell someone to watch it if they want to know what DID is, or how it looks. Even before I really knew about DID, I still understood that it wasn't a representation of what DID really is. But that's TV. It's rarely real. The same goes for Monk and how OCD is portrayed, or Grey's anatomy, or Orange is the New Black (I'm sure prison isn't actually like sleep-away camp). I don't go to TV for the realism, I go for the entertainment.
THANK YOU!!!! It IS a t.v. show. Not a documentary, biography or whatever. It has tui have some entertaining element and I found it realistic in the sense that no one handles everything perfect. Would they have the same opinion had this been a story about a real person life?
I absolutely agree w/ you....I am only watching this video right now because so many years ago I watched that show and I notice a few times a year I will remember that show and get upset again that NURSE JACKIE GOT ANOTHER SEASON OVER UNITED STATES OF TARA! They were already robbed given the fact they had to fit not even 30min of all that interestingness into one episode!! But my point is I would know nothing about DID if I hadn’t wanted it and went out of my way to research everything I could on it and movies or documentaries like it! Yes like any show not a documentary it is over exaggerated but I expect that from something that has to keep people watching, wondering and in suspense but all in all the show made me aware that DID exist and how difficult it must be to have something that a lot of people say isn’t real, this effecting someone emotionally but also medically when trying money for more research and studies and all that stuff! How frustrating! I only thought w/o all the exaggeration was how hard that must be and how amazing the mind is and what it will do to protect us but I don’t remember having any negative feeling about people with DID. I feel it would be foolish or ignorant of me to base in opinion solely or even mostly on something that’s fiction. I feel a lot of movies talk about a lot of things, people, views, god u name it and we’ve got a ton of movies on everything but the show was funny and emotional, it tackled something not really ever tackled and for such a tiny amount of time for something so big I felt did a good job but that is just my opinion and I wanted to share.
You all make good points. It is just a show built around entertainment rather than actually informing people about the realities of living with DID. And it can be a gateway for those of us that like to research and educate ourselves on subjects like mental health. However, unfortunately the majority of society does not have the urge to take it upon themselves to gain that kind of knowledge. And not everyone has the awareness that subjects like this are frequently misrepresented for entertainment's sake. Fiction has a profound effect on how people in general view reality. Especially in topics where the average person knows little or nothing. When harmful stereotypes or falsehoods have been perpetuated over multiple sources, people start to associate that condition with those stereotypes. For those of us that can seperate fiction from reality, entertainment is simply entertainment. But for people that have a condition like DID, shows like this can easily become a type of persecution. And for people who don't seem to know better, they carry the information they see on TV as fact. Oddly, especially in matters of physical and mental health. That's one of the main ways that public misconceptions happen. "I saw it on TV, so it must be true." The average person trusts that a production will do their dudilagence when talking about a real life subject matter. However, that isn't always the case. In fact, some productions will blatantly lie or stretch the truth for their storyline or for shock factor. Sadly it ends up bleeding into the real world and having real world consequences for a lot of people.
Whilst I agree with you to a point, shows like this and movies like Split and Identity make people think we’re dangerous killers or manipulative abusers. Yes, sometimes we have violent or volatile alters, but very rarely would an alter “kill” someone. If they did it’s because the host was capable of it all along. One of my alters choked someone because they were triggered, but he would never kill someone and would only hurt someone physically if I was in danger, emotionally broken and unable to react, or incapacitated in the head space which is what happened. My point is, he could never go further than I ever would. He would never kill someone, maim someone etc because I’m incapable of that. Alters are only capable of what the host is capable of. So if an alter was to kill someone, the host was capable of murder. People don’t just develop murderous alters. It might be entertaining for you, but people like me get ostracised or disbelieved because of them. The only one I enjoyed was Identity because it shows the host engaging in integrative therapy at different places, and whilst it does feed the “murderous alter” stereotype, it’s implied that Malcolm was capable of killing those people anyway. He had a hatred for prostitutes because of his mother being one and the child alter responsible for killing those people in a motel was full of rage and trauma. James McAvoy was really great in Split by depiction of the alters but the ending is ridiculous. I’m aware this is tied to superhero franchise Unbreakable, but using DID as a villain origin story makes me roll my eyes. Which is why I’m working on the opposite where a hero has DID and uses her alters and associated superpowers to save the world, rather than using it as an excuse to be a villain.
What an awesome video! I watched the show in college & had never heard about DID before so it was my first exposure to it. After I found your channel I tried watching it again & could not get through it because it made me so angry. I loved hearing your perspective on it. Thank you! Take care everyone in the entropy system & thank you for helping me understand DID 💜💜💜
I watched this video originally in 2018, rewatched it a few days ago before watching the show as it’s on Hulu now. I finished the show and am rewatching this video now. If I’d seen USoT when it initially came out, I don’t know how I would’ve felt about DID. I don’t know how empathetic I would’ve been. Ironically, and sadly like many others, I first heard about DID through split. Eventually I binged your videos and a few other systems; Started educating myself. Found out a loved one was diagnosed with DID. Spoke out more on the effects of Split. So watching USoT now just broke my fucking heart. The lack of accountability, the plot lines in general, and especially the second half of the third season... I’m sorry this is the first representation you saw. I know you all are off of TH-cam now. I hope you’re doing okay. Thank you for educating us while you did and letting us get to know individuals in your system.
As someone with DID I related heavily to the character and how raw they portray her. Was glamorized of course like I said to be expected by Hollywood. My alters like the show as well. We want to watch it together as we are all most co conscious now besides a couple alters I haven’t fully met and integrated with. 🙏❤️
You made a fantastic video here. I watched this show some time ago, way before I started looking into D.I.D., and couldn't get through even the first episode because I thought it was so incredibly disrespectful to people with mental illness(es). I'm so glad you are able to articulate everything so well. Thank you!
One of my most favourite things to do is to make comics, and I’ve wanted to start making a webcomic that represents DID in a more realistic and positive way, seeing all the horrible representation in media just drives that passion more because it’s so hard to find good representation out there. Hopefully in the future I can create something that helps
As someone with DID, it is frustrating to see it portrayed as senationalized as USoT. Most people in my day to day life don't know we have DID we present as one person and are responsible for everyone's actions regardless of what they are. Season 3 was literally the most triggering thing I've ever watched in my entire life and I suffered through a movie I can't remember the name of now, but it was one with the solution to DID was a machine where you pushed a button and it integrated or deleted an alter.... Anyway the last episode pissed me off because it made integration seem like this simple let's make a deal at a table thing and it really isn't that easy... If it was I'm sure none of us would willingly choose to deal with the struggles of DID... Anyway thanks for the video and the insight!
I'm really glad you covered this, because I've heard other people with DID talk about, "Split," and I was curious about, "United States of Tara." I want to validate all your criticisms of it, it's pretty on the nose. So I do not have DID. I actually loved United States of Tara when I was a lot younger. This and Kim Noble's book "All of Me," were my introduction to DID. Looking back now, I can see how harmful this would be to someone with a recent diagnosis. I kind of think of like the show "13 Reasons Why," in that it's a compelling drama, but a total garbage fire in terms of mental health. Tara's relationship with her son bothered me especially because I can see how much of their relationship ended up being abusive. I'm glad you called out her husband's behavior too, because it didn't fully hit me when I first watched it how shitty it was. Her interject poisoning the professor is definitely the greatest of the shows sins, but I think the biggest problem is that it doesn't understand how serious a topic it's addressing. In this way, it's kind of like, "Juno," which really should have ended with Patrick Bateman's character in jail. In a case where you're representing people without power, like in the DID community, you need to understand what an impact your show can have. It were about another dysfunctional family, it could be just another trashy kind of problematic drama. But because of the DID, it ends up delivering a damaging picture of people who are not dangerous and deserve to have access to the care they need. Now, I'd like to throw in my pitch for a new DID movie, a cute indy comedy about someone who falls in love with someone with DID. It would be a light hearted rom com, would touch on what it's really like to get to know a system, and would be about the system and the other person falling in love and learning to heal together. As well as how a system works together as a family and deals with a big life change while respecting and supporting each other.
The show had so much potential. The first 2 seasons had some good stuff mixed into the dramatized storyline. But the 3rd season seemed to destroy any of the good stuff that could be gleaned from it. I was really disappointed in the series by the end. I think it's a fun show for people who have been dealing with their diagnosis for a long time and are at a solid stable place with it. However, it's not one I'd ever recommend to someone who doesn't know much about DID or who is newly diagnosed. It would've scared the hell out of me in the beginning, then pissed me off later on. I can watch it at this point - the first 2 seasons and half of the 3rd season - for entertainment because it's written as a comedy about a dysfunctional family and I get that. But I just can't look at the last half of season 3 without being angry. For all the reasons you mentioned. It fed all my biggest fears.
Wish System -I really had a good time watching the first 2 seasons. I didn't expect a good or accurate depiction not DID. BUT the end disappointed me greatly, because it took the easy cowardly way out giving an audience what the audience would want or expect. Can't watch the end without getting angry at the writers for that.
Yeah, there's just so much bad going on with USoT. I suppose if someone didn't have and/or didn't know about DID, it wouldn't be terribly offensive to them and may be entertaining, but the harm still slips in even then. If it's the first DID related material they're exposed to, it's going to seed a lot of negative notions about it. Not to mention, as you mentioned, if you're newly diagnosed or are diagnosed in the future and it's what you've seen, you're likely to be fearful of DID. It's too close to realistic while being too overblown and negatively unrealistic. That's the problem. It SEEMS much more reasonable and feasible to someone who doesn't understand DID and isn't educated about it; while using incredibly awful plot devices and terrible people as alters for dramatic impact. Whereas at least horror film depictions are obviously going to be easier to say, "Yeah that's really not the case, obviously!" Both can be damaging, but I agree, USoT is far worse for poisoning perceptions of people with DID than any serial killer movie. Sigh.
I'd just like to take a moment to say Thank You for this 🙌🏻 From one system to another. Back at the beginning of my diagnosis, before the days of "Split" and "Glass" - "United States of Tara" was the only media that had been portraying DID in any form at all. (Besides Sybil, but we won't go there) I felt just as you did when I watched this show. I was made to think that this show would be a safe haven for those with DID and properly portray what others couldn't about the reality of living with someone with DID. What this show portrayed crushed me. I felt as if I were just as Tara was; too much of a burden for anyone to logically foresee living with in a stable environment. What I couldn't realize is that I was managing with my system much better than she was with hers. I was not allowing such brash behaviour and I never would have allowed anyone in my system to preform the actions that hers did. It gives me hope to know that someone else out there feels the same about this show's portrayal as I do. And I couldn't thank you enough for taking the time to express it for others to see our perspective on it. Thank you so much. You've done this so well. Keep up the good work!
I love listening to you. If I had the money to make sure you had the time I would make sure you were writing a book. I would make sure it was heavily advertised as well as your videos and channel would be too. You are So intelligent and well spoken! Keep it up.
Thanks for this video, my knowledge of DID comes from shows like this, books and other media. Videos like this really help me understand DID in a better way, I personally don't have DID but I find it really interesting and I hope you all don't mind me watching your videos to better understand the life of a person with DID.
I loved hearing your POV. I loved the show (as someone who doesn't knowingly know anyone with DID). I did have issues with the family dynamic for sure, but for me I love Toni Collette and I was like, "Wow, she's such a great actor." But listening to you and TRYING to find more reviews on the show I see how it is problematic. Of course I did have my suspicions in the first place! I'm glad you decided to make a video about this. I've been looking for reviews on the representation of DID in this show for a while! It's interesting that they had a consultant, but used the information very minimally. It's always about the shock value and the money productions can get from that, but watching this show did make me curious about DID and want to research! When will we get a more realistic representation of DID in the media I wonder?
I've started watching this video just to hear about the tv series but ended up watching it because of how you've described the character of Tara. We're currently in the process of moving out and a huuuuuuuge chunk of our trauma has been caused by the mother who gave birth to us mainly because amongst other things she does the exact same thing over and over and over no matter how ill it makes us we're usually pretty good with knowing how to deal with trauma but since she had always portrayed herself as the good character without covering it with actions beyond saying the bad things she's done including the whole lot of manipulation weren't her fault. Nothing is an excuse to force your child to live your life for you and for yourself to disguise it as "getting help" and ignoring how your child feels about this and all of your constant tantrums for over two decades. She used to be depressed when she was young but now that I had made her get professional help and do something with her own life as I afinally grow financially more and more independent, she has gotten a lot better and I can finally have a semi normal conversation with her every now and then but that also means none of us will ever get our childhood back ever again or at least not the way we should have and it sucks and hurts quite a bit. As hyper off topic as this comment already is, you confirming that these kinds of behaviours of the said character were wrong and bad has actually helped me get reassured that leaving this house is a good idea because we could survive this for sometime but leaving is the only healthy option for just about the entire system. Anyways, I hope you're all well ♡ -Jack
For us the saddest thing about this series was that it’s clear from the start that Tara and her System do not have adequate or appropriate support from mental health practitioners. By the time they get directed towards actual Specialists the shit has already hit the fan big time and it should never have gotten to that point. Whilst the show got a lot wrong it’s depiction of the lack of proper treatment and support that really hits home and is the sad reality for so many Systems.
We thought we were being to judge mental with the show but couldn’t even force ourselves to watch past episode 3 season 1. Most of the time our daughter doesn’t know who’s out unless Mouse suddenly says it’s dessert night. We had high hopes for this show but a huge let down. They need to do a true documentary. No dramatic over the top story line. Just a few willing systems that want to spread the truth about DID. It’s great seeing you and the other systems that we’ve come to respect and call friends. You guys have helped us become closer and now we are doing better at communicating.
Hi! New sub here! 1. You have such a strong and interesting opinion, from someone who loved the original show, it's amazing to be able to see things from your perspective, and it shines a light on subtleties (and mostly, not so subtle things...) I might have ignored in my lack of knowledge about DID. So thank you for the insight! Totally changed my perspective. 2. You (Wyn, host, physical external body) are GORGEOUS! Love from Venezuela to all of the System! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I was 19 when this show came out, and it will always hold a big place in my heart, as I look it up today. Yes, it didn’t cover DID correctly. My mom suffers from bi polar and psycho frantic disorder. At the time of release, mental health wasn’t shown in this way on tv. Yes, it wasn’t exactly my life and at the age of 29 we’re finally understanding what my mother is dealing with, but this was a show that showed me comfort. That my family wasn’t alone at times. It’s a show that shows in hard times, you can always depend on family. It showed through hard times of whatever, with love you can get through it with support.
Hi Wyn! I just watched the first episode and I thought the same things you said. Though, you're right... I'm desperate to find a positive representation, so those negative feelings stood aside from the positive feelings of feeling "omg yes, I can be THAT awkward!". I think I have to see the show but now I don't know if I should hahahaha. Thank you for your honest review :) We love you
Out of all the millions of youtubers out there, you're by far my favorite. Thank you all for your devotion to this channel, and your content as well. Maybe, if you have time, you can try to make a short film or something similar that people with DID can relate to? It would be nice to see some actual.. good representation of DID for once.
I watched this show for the first time when I was eleven. At the time I really enjoyed it and it was one of the reasons that I took up an interest in mental health and more specifically, DID. However, I am now fourteen and as I look back on the show I don't like it as much. The whole storyline with Bryce and him being a murderer are what especially bothered me. I understand that it was probably only over dramatized because it's television and they need more viewers, but I felt like they could've done more to put a positive spot light on DID. Seeing as though that television and movies tend to give DID such a negative portrayal, I've recently started writing a novel about a detective with DID. She has a traumatic past and has a system of six, but still manages to do her job and help fix the world's injustices. I hope to someday see more positive shows, novels, etc. regarding DID. I think it's something important that people should know about and I respect what you (the Entropy System) and what countless other channels are trying to do!!
This is such an interesting PoV to hear because when I first watched the show I really did like it. I liked the kids and the alters and the fact that most of the bad things seen to happen because Tara is avoiding dealing with things (unfortunately through the advice of the people around her) rather that working things out and communicating. Which is a good point to keep in mind for most mental illnesses. But, yeah... I can totally see how the third season really fucks with that idea and how the show as a whole could be really dangerous for representation and for those just diagnosed. Over all I do think the show can be amusing at points and has some really good scenes as well as amazing acting (the dance under the wedding arch gets me every time with Max's speech), but it suffers from bad/lazy writing and trying to hard to be edgy/cool. Which seeing as the main writer was also the creator of 'Juno' and 'Jennifer's Body'... The quality of the story is not all that surprising.
I'm really am glad that you brought this show up! It's something that isn't talked about a lot in the community because at least it doesn't portray her as a serial killer. Thank you again for this series! It's pretty cool to have a rating system for movies and shows about DID; so far I've not heard of a great depiction of it but really liked Sense 8, which I tried watching again because of your reviews! My system got something out of United States of Tara in the first few months that we found out we were multiple--mostly because we have an alter that (especially before communication started working a bit better) was a lot like T. The reason why I like it now is that it shows that with DID, you can have a life but it's not going to be perfect. There are definitely things that don't make sense in the show--the alters don't seem to be helpful to Tara whatsoever. The family life depicted is insanely dysfunctional. The idea of a system depicted in an everyday setting was huge for me at the beginning though, finding out you have DID (especially a couple years ago when there really wasn't much on youtube or anything) can be super lonely.
I just found out a less than a month ago that i have DID, and what scares me the most about these shows falsely depicting DID is how that is what people will think of if i try to tell someone that I have DID. I know nothing horrible would happen because of DID but others don't; and I don't want to be forced into an insane asylum for the rest of my life, or can't get a job, or have good friends, simply because people are afraid of us even though in reality there is no reason. If the public at large believes people with DID are monsters, then to them that's what we are.
I’m researching DID because I want to create a character who has DID. I don’t want to watch any films like Split due to its negative portrayal of DID. Your videos are helping me to not only get ideas but also to educate me about DID. Thank you so much
Thank you so much for this. I really didn’t have any idea about DID when I watched USOT a long time ago. I’ve been watching your videos recently and they all confirmed that the tv show was super fake. I knew it’s not that rare of a disorder and for someone to be that dysfunctional with DID is not normal. Just like how most disorders are portrayed IRL. Anyways, thanks again, I rly love you and your system! Thank you for sharing and spreading the knowledge!
Oh my god I remembered I watched this show years ago and seeing an actress from it play in a recent movie made me almost rewatch the show. I'm glad I watched this first cause dang, I forgot all the insane stuff that happened. Especially with Tara's daughter, she was always going through something traumatic and barely getting help for it. thank goodness I watched this video!
I was just trying to understand my diagnosis when that show came out. I watched a couple of episodes and it freaked us out so bad!! I've been very scared to watch anything else like that. Have recently begun to view your videos and am glad we found you ♥
and yet U did not see me out here every week for three years breaking down the show , the writers room , the characters and how it all began and ended.. mmhmm
System responsibility. Thank you. I'm so late to the table about handling my time loss responsibly but I appreciate this and am feel alot less alone since finding bloggers talking about how to manage dissociation with integrity. Thank you.
Throughout the whole video I kept thinking exactly what you said at the end- at least Split is clearly a horror movie. Even people who have only heard of multiple personality disorder one time would have enough common sense to understand that a serial killer alter is very rare/unrealistic. But Tara presents DID as more realistic.
I feel the same way. I have a loved one who will be living with me, newly diagnosed with DID. After watching just the 1st season of Tara, I was Very Alarmed. This show scared me a LOT!
It’s unfortunate to hear about this show. I have never seen it but I can still feel through what you described what they were trying and failed to do. I hope one day a show does this disorder justice. Like maybe we meet a new alter in the system and he learns about all the head mates and grows to be a new protector. The host isn’t revealed until near the middle or end of season one and we get to see him front in the body which is female and we get to see his confusion in meeting all the host’s friends. We’d be able to feel the confusion cuz we the audience have never them before either but maybe we’ve heard about them a little?
The show and character the writing are all to play up to mainstream society's standards of what they want to watch on TV. What they want to watch on TV is drama bullshit that is always exaggerated. It's really unfortunate that people will take it at face value and believe that it's a proper portrayal of someone with did
I really loved the show, but seeing it through your eyes I have to agree with you. I just hope the next time Hollywood tackle the subject they improve on the substance. I'm really enjoying your content even though I don't have DID. I am in my 40's and have just been diagnosed with Bipolar 2 after been thrown around the health care system for over 20 years so I understand where you are coming from. Keep up the good work. 👍
Wow, shit, thanks for this! I've never watched the show but I remember when it first came out and something about it turned me off and I never bothered (and I was a lot of TV lol). I might have even mentioned it in your first media video just because I knew it existed. Thank you so much for deep diving into it!
I saw a few episodes before I knew I was multiple, went back and rewatched it after a few of my headmates reached out and made contact with me, then one more time with my then-boyfriend, because that was the only representation I knew of. That last time, I knew enough to recognize how bad it was, and spent most of the time telling him "that would never actually happen" "it's actually more like this" "I think they were trying to portay this, but that's not really how it works" ect. I have a sentimental connection to the show, since I went back to it through every big step in my journey, but I would never recommend it as a way to learn about the disorder.
I don't have DID, but this disorder is interesting to me since I too fell for the stereotype at first but soon learned what it truly was. And as an aspiring author, it was only a matter of time until I decided that I wanted to write a story that includes a system - not ABOUT a system but one that includes one. Watching these kinds of videos teach me on what NOT to do with this system, so thank you for this review - it was very insightful 😄 I only hope media would understand DID better though, there are so many bad examples of it - and people even relate it to stories that have nothing to do with it, such as Jekyll & Hyde (they aren't split, per say, nor does Jekyll experience amnesia as Hyde; Jekyll also created Hyde with his formula and not through a reaction to childhood trauma so you can't say it's DID)
This is why I am scared to tell people about my situation. Do you think maybe one of you could make a video about how to come out to friends and family as a system despite of garbage like this show most likely being the only way they could know about it? Or juts how to come out as a system in general?
Hey, Could you do a video like this about Korean drama ,,Kill me, Heal me"? It's about a man with DID. Of course, as it's Korean drama, there is a romance in it, which may not be well written and relatable, but when it comes to representing DID - in my opinion it's quite good (except the end - I don't want to spoil anything, but I'm sure everyone, who watched it, will understand what I'm talking about). And sometimes switches are exaggerated. But still, I think it's quite appropriate. Buy I don't have DID, so I would like to hear an opinion about it from someone who has.
I honestly think that Tara was one of the best shows to help me learn of what's actually going on inside me that other people have seen that I don't normally see yes there's some mistakes in there but for the majority of the part it really did help me realize that there is something more going on than what I thought it was so it's really hard for me to hear people bashing it when I don't believe that they were trying to portray things awfully they were just trying their hardest to get it done and I think we should preciate that
I saw United States of Tara both before and after my diagnosis of D.I.D. Before the dx, I did not credit it as anything but fiction. I mean, I THOUGHT maybe, POSSIBLY, SOMEONE out in the world SOMEWHERE might have this disorder, IF it was real. But I did not really believe it. And honestly, I thought "Thank goodness I don't have to deal with this, since it's obviously a devastating and horrible, life-ruining disorder." Then I was diagnosed with D.I.D. I watched the show again, hoping for something good. I was devastated for all the reasons you gave in this video. Especially in the end, the show feels hopeless. Tara's life is horrible. I'm happy to report, though, that after a full year with this diagnosis, we have never tried to hurt anyone, nor have we destroyed our life. In fact--this is the weird part--we are actually living our BEST LIFE, in the full knowledge of our disorder, and we're kicking ass at it! Thanks for saying so many amazing things about the danger of United States of Tara. It is, without question, feeding the stigmas. P.S. Tara needed a better therapist, better support, and a TH-cam community like we have.
Typical sitcom writing: Everyone is an awful person but the show pretends they are not.
You’re not wrong. -Wyn
what if they are just are awful but parts of them try not to be?
Lol thets exactly what I was thinking. A drama version would be better if u want characters who aren't horrible human beings if u glance for too long. Sitcoms are known for it
You summed up exactly how I feel about like nearly all sitcoms. Thank you, I have a way to quickly explain why I don’t like them. ＾＾
I agree and I'm 47 yrs old I had two sons just recently I told them I have DID they had no idea so yes you can raise your kids up normal with DID with very little issues and for the most part I was single mom by choice running a business, each of my alters doing their part, this is a disorder I live with not suffer with and love dearly all my group
This is so inspiring. Thank you! -Wyn
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Thank you for sharing your story. -Wyn
@@techiesimmer I hope you're doing better now and are not self-harming anymore. ❤️
@@techiesimmer : I think a big part of it is understanding that our parents will never have been perfect. They're human too. Even if they had been put in a position of perfect mental health, they still would have made decisions that could effect our overall mental health. Even picture perfect parents can scar their children. And even though it should never be the child's job or even expected of a child, sometimes having a person that loves and depends on you can be exactly what saves you from yourself. Now having said that, I don't think that anyone should ever decided to jump into parenthood with reckless abandon. Don't expect becoming a parent to fix everything that's "wrong" with you. It's not fair to bring a feeling human being into the world if you aren't going to take care of them in the way that all children deserve. And I guess part of it is about finding a balance in your parent/child relationship. When you're a parent you shouldn't expect anything of your child, and when you're a child you shouldn't expect too much. That's a recipe for disappointed. A parent can give you their everything, and still leave you wanting more. We all have hard moments we have to get through in our lives and we all have moments that define who we are. Accepting who you are as a person is the first step of excepting who your parents are as well. Sometimes we have to except that they will never be who or what we want them to be, but we can still accept who they are and try and move on. Sometimes the expectations that we have for others end up only holding ourselves back.
"Children should never have to raise their parents," SAY IT LOUDER I DON'T THINK THEY CAN HEAR YOU IN THE BACK
_me standing here with our protecters literally being the only person that is there for our bodies mother_
The way that Tara's husband refers to her and her alters as "It" and "The Crazy" IS SO. INCREDIBLY. UPSETTING.
Agreed! -Wyn
The husband is a saint. Who else would put up with that shit?
@@harrylime9611hope you’ve changed over the last year
From the sound of it, even the guy from Split took more responsibility for the rest of his system than Tara did.
oof, so unnecessarily true
I'd prefer to interact with their system then taras
Also doesn't her husband try to sleep with T? Who is a 15 year old alter? I feel like he really shouldnt be able to do that and have it be shown as ok. Young alters are vulnerable and T is obviously hypersexual due to trauma. Of course T shouldn't be with real life teens (that storyline was BAD) but she shouldn't be with a regular adult either, regardless of her body's age. She just should not be having sex.
You live "your" whole freaking life without sex! 15 is just a number 16, 17, 24, 36, 29...DID... ok it's like this, consensual with respect to others and I'm talking about legal adults with DID and their partner.
He actually used to have sex with T but stopped.
Bill Morgan he stopped when they realized that she was stuck at 16
Max did not try to have sex with T, she tried to have sex with him. I wish people would actually watch the show instead if making up things that never happened. I've watched the entire show twice and that's how I know the chick who made this video didn't actually watch it because she said multiple things that were wrong about it.
Keep in mind that its scripted, and as the story shows, Max was celibate in that Tara did not want sex and if I recall right, Tara did not want him to have sex with the others.
I really loved the show for entertainment purposes, but you made solid points. It's clear in retrospect that it was created to entertain neuro normatives and was not respectful or inclusive of those with DID
did "split" attract people who would actually believe DID was really like that or was the general understanding really that it was fiction?
@@yourrnamee1280 they think that spilt is the real deal. It's really sad but true.
@@sadlyicanbarelyread5409 it's really sad but true? sad that they are convinced it is a "split"? Did you mean that? I think it is. Hey I was wondering about this..
1. do we need a channel that tells the truth?
[spoiler,,it won't look ANYTHING like this one]
2. lol!b how long after these persons get their inkling or diagnosis...? do you think it takes before they have these like fully defined outlines or umm, identities? of their "alters"
?
I mean, I know that not everyone is like this, but - when I want to learn about something, I look up articles or things like this, not a tv show. Sure, it’s easier to learn things with something for entertainment (for some people), but surely they must see that how they portray it might not actually be accurate, but warped to be entertaining?
I hate seeing media portraying mental illness terribly. Split and 13 Reasons Why genuinely piss me off
same, those kinda portrayals are just plain dangerous and offensive
i refuse to watch 13 reasons why, the characters look superficial. and they make a mockery of delicate issues , like acquisition of disability after a traumatic life experience.
is 13 reasons why also DID portrayal in a negative light? never cared to watch...
Zoey Vagner no but it romanticizes suicide and other mental disorders
Me too. But I'm glad at least that they open us up to conversations like this. I'm not ashamed to talk about my mental health in large because of TH-camrs such as ES x
My therapist used United states of tara to diagnose me as not having did. I don't know why anyone would use that show as an example.
I started watching United States of Tara and stopped after three episodes. I really think that because they actually did research on how DID functions, it is even worse that they show a disfunctional system in a disfunctional family as an okay example of a person with DID. They avoid certain storytelling tropes harmful to DID but confirm stereotypes of DID. That's worse, I think.
I think it's worse as well, even harder to explain why and how it is wrong to someone.
@@angiegamez8600 Yeah, it really makes it clear how they don't really understand the impact such a negative representation would have on the community as a whole. Tunnel vision, sort of--they think, she's this complex character being played by an award-winning actress so that automatically is supposed to = pathos, but when you're stacked against terrible example after terrible example, the result was just always going to be so negative overall.
Ironically, I have an alter named Alice who is a 50’s housewife “archetype” but she doesn’t even swear. She helps with chores, microwave cooking recipes, she wants to have a family and get married, she’s close to God. I, the host, Georghia, am an atheist but she doesn’t have bad qualities. I have two potentially violent alters (but even though they are mainly rage and trauma infused they do it to protect us, so they’re not “bad” alters. Even Scarlett who hates me so much she’d rather I was dead, and hurts the body more than I do, is not “bad” she’s hurting. When I get back into therapy I really want to try bridging the gap between us but she’s so angry and hurting so much I don’t know how. She just backs away from me and yells and hurts us. I learned to stop calling them bad alters, and even though they’re still very complicated and there’s a lot of negative, they’re not bad. It’s hard. I’ve had alters since I was 7, but I thought they were just imaginary friends, two of my littles, then they went dormant until I was 18 and I had a traumatic experience which created more and one came back from dormancy. The second came back last year. I’m at 13 now. USOT made me feel the same; are my three volatile alters going to hurt people like that? Are they going to drive everyone away? Get me killed? Arrested? Sectioned?
My dream is to become a well known film editor and I want my future films to help people understand the misunderstood and those who just needs something to feel like they’re not alone. I’m hoping one day I can make a film that correctly represents D.I.D. because it interests me so much and I think it’s not talked about enough and not heard enough. This is why I’ve been binge watching your and many other D.I.D. channels- so I get all the good facts 😂
As someone with DID myself, I can tell you that these DID youtubers are probably the BEST source for learning what DID is really like! Our system hasn't made any videos yet, but we really respect and admire all those who have. What makes these the best source is that the only "agenda" they have is wanting the TRUTH about DID to be known, and fighting to discredit the many untruths that people try to put out there about our disorder. The agenda of most movies about DID is to make money by way of sensationalism, regardless of who might be hurt by inaccurate fictional portrayals of a very real disorder that many people struggle with every day. The agenda of most documentaries that have been made about DID is to make people feel pity for the chaotic mess that they perceive DID to be, and so they try to find the worst cases and emphasize the saddest and most pitiable aspects of their life. There are a few good documentaries out there, like the ones done by the Multiplicity & Me system, but again, that's because their agenda is showing the truth about what we are really like, not the sensationalist bull. Thank you, Lilly, for wanting to help people understand us better. I hope you are able to make that film about DID, and I'm sure many people with DID out there (including ourselves) would be more than happy to help you make your depiction of us as accurate as possible. Please don't give up on your dream, it is a good one! - Leyna Vincent
You go, honey! Yes please!
I can't wait until you do it !
this is not a reliable source of true DID
@@yourrnamee1280 Why ?
I've been learning so much from you since my daughter recommended watching The Entropy System. Thank you. I am a clergy person who pastors people with many different needs. I want to add that in this episode I think you especially shine as a role model for emotional health for all people, in all mental states. You demonstrate the clarity of the qualities of respect, responsibility, empathy, love, relational sensitivity and civic engagement. Much gratitude.
Thank you for sharing this. The US of Tara was one of my favorite shows but I'm recovering from a decade of very poor mental health and confronting my traumas so I had to be skeptical about the portrayal of DID on the show because until recently, I felt let down and insulted by characters that were characters that were portraying parts of me.
I really agree very much. Split portrayed it awful, and this is really bad as well. I don’t have DID, but I am bipolar 1 - and every time I tell anyone, they seem frightened. Like I am going to hurt them, that I am crazy and have no control over myself. It really upsets me, because if there is anyone I hurt it is just me, and my family who have to live thru my depression and manic periods. I think there are so many mental disorders that is depicted as tabu, we are crazy people, we can’t control ourselves. I wish I knew someone else with bipolar disorder at my age, so I could share my experiences as “mentally ill”. I really like your channel, I know I can’t know how it is to live with DID only by watching your videos, but I truly understand depression, mania, and anxiety well. My illness was also triggered in childhood, but who knows if I would have have it anyway. Mental illnesses should really be better portrayed than it is now. Love from Norway xx
Trude I’m bipolar 2, and I constantly deal with coworkers talking about how crazy they are, and joking about how anyone moody or grouchy have it. I haven’t told anyone, but it’s just so disheartening hearing how people feel about this.
Jen V yeah, I feel you! And I really get that part about being too scared to tell anyone, because people THINK they know what they are talking about, or they just want to make fun of people that find life a bit harder than them. I really don’t know, because everything is just hurtful and downright offensive. Like, they wouldn’t say that if they had family with the disorder, or if they knew that they knew someone with it. These “harder” disorders are sadly very tabu, and depicted awful. But it seems we all have the same experiences, and that is sad 😔❤️❤️❤️ sending love ❤️❤️
I hate the Hollywood take on mental health. They always play to the extreme. I watched 10 minutes of the first episode and was sick. Im glad this show got cut off. It's sickening.
I was diagnosed with DID and I’m 13. This is really helpful that you help me through this :)
When Taylor (our host) first came across USoT all of us were hopeful, especially since the actual description said it was about a mother with DID. Personally everyone except Taylor hated the show for pretty much the same reasons you stated and we think it made the thought of working with us harder. Now obviously that has changed and a few of us even have set times where we can be out and work on what we need to but personally I feel it could have happened a lot sooner had it not been for the show. The main pet peeve I had was the portrayal of the teenager alter. It was like they threw every stereotypical action that a teenager would do and ramped it up x10 Anyways, thank you for sharing this and just being a source of information and inspiration. You are the positive representation and we're grateful always.
Thank you for steering me clear of this show. I was hopeful as well as I admire the actresses other work.
This fit also introduced to me is relatively new to learning about did the concept of system responsibility.
Definitely seeking more resources for someone I know regarding this concept
Thank you for doing this video. I started watching Tara and was feeling incredibly hopeless. Your review has grounded me and given me the courage to defy the negative thoughts Tara caused. You're providing very real help to people. Thank you.
At first, I thought it was a really good show. It was entertaining enough and the story was compelling. I didn't see the issues that came up until I started rewatching it with a friend. It was worse than I remembered it and I still don't know how I looked over the faults in it. It made it harder for be to believe my system could ever take on the idea of "system responsibility," and it distanced me from the idea that anyone could love me while getting along with my alters, and if not completely getting along with them, it would have been nice to have something so realistic enforcing the idea that there would be people who could remain civil with the ones they didn't like. It shook my confidence in being able to have people love me while not separating my alters from myself entirely and treating them like annoying, irrelevant pieces that are only getting in the way. It also gave me an unclear idea about what to do with my more violent alters, and I thought, for a time, I had to learn to find a way to "kill" them, or at least silence them completely. But over time, I'm learning that I *can* find a way to cope with them here, even if I haven't yet found a way to get through to them without suppressing them or, in a sense, stamping out their existence with force.
As a Veteran factive in a system, I can understand the irritation behind the Vietnam Veteran situation. Outer me, served in Vietnam, and the complete misrepresentation of DID is horrendous, at least to me. Your channel is so inspiring and amazing. Good on you for finding the truth in all the nonsense that the general media launches everywhere. -Aiden
Representation is so important in this day and age, especially as more people are being diagnosed in the mental health community. The amount of tv shows I had to just stop watching for my own well being is astounding. People take disorders like DID, bipolar disorder, BPD, schizophrenia, etc and intensify them to fit some sort of..plot line and entertainment value. And like you said, yes, there could be those who do live on the severe side of their disorders. But if they’re going to showcase THAT side of the spectrum, they have an obligation to portray the other side as well. Not everyone with a diagnosis is planning a Purge-esque mass murder or is running around the city at 5am in their underwear, kidnapping babies. Some people are compliant with their treatment plans. Some people live very sensible and functional lives. Some people are even content. It took me so long to fully accept my bipolar and psychosis diagnoses because of the portrayals I was seeing on some of my favorite tv shows. I’ll be damned if the media tries to fit me back into their mold of what my mental health should look like.
Hello Wyn & Co. :) I actually just binge watched (almost) all 3 seasons of USoT - I have 3 episodes left. I have been following your channel for awhile altho I believe I only formally *subscribed* within the last couple months. First, I want to commend you on being an incredibly brave and open advocate for those with mental illness, not just D.I.D. Speaking openly and honestly about the ups and downs, the real fears, trying to reconfigure society's perception (if not created then certainly perpetuated by the media) of mental illness as something inherently dangerous.. not to mention you are incredibly eloquent, well spoken, well researched beyond your own experience. You are a superb representative, advocate, and spokesperson for everyone out there who live day to day trying to function in this world with a mental illness that can be anything from a minor inconvenience to a truly debilitating and life altering affliction but totally misunderstood and misjudged either way. So I thank you for that.
I had purposely avoided watching this particular video of yours until I had a chance to check out the show for myself. I just wanted to be able to watch it with fresh eyes and not be influenced by your review (no offense to you, for sure, I just wanted to form my own opinion and critique. I'm sure you understand.) I, myself, do NOT have D.I.D., but I am a licensed behavioral therapist and family counselor who has seen quite a lot over the past 30-something years and am always trying to keep up with new advances, new terminology, new discoveries, differing perspectives, etc. I am mostly interested in educating myself on things that I have little to no personal experience with in my years as a therapist... such as D.I.D. TH-cam may not seem like the best place for "professional education" but honestly watching your videos and hearing your first hand accounts about events, your emotions, your strategies, etc., are just as (honestly, even more so) informative than any book or journal article I read. That's just how I work. And here is my truth: I am no longer actively practicing in the mental health field. Sadly, I have an autoimmune disease (SLE: systemic lupus) that I have battled pretty much forever but in the last several years it has done SO much damage to my body that I am mostly housebound and bedridden. I also suffer from depression and anxiety, some of which can be considered 2ndary to lupus but to be perfectly frank, I'd probably have those diagnoses with or without the cruel mystery that is lupus. Anyway, even though my body is failing me, for the time being I still have my mind, my education, my experience, and my desire tho help people who are struggling. I do occasionally offer my services free of charge (via computer and/or telephone) to those who want help but can't afford it for whatever reason, crappy insurance, no insurance, just limited finances (all things I understand very well) I do inform them that I cannot prescribe anything and if I feel their problem is more serious than I am equipped to treat, I will find alternative choices that are free/low-cost/sliding scale what have you. And even if I do that, I am still available as part of that person's support system, an extra ear to listen, shoulder to cry on, etc. I apologize for the super long (and I'm sure seemingly narcissistic) comment; I'm just trying to give you a thumbnail sketch of who I am and why it is I do still keep up with the world of mental health if I am no longer actively employed within it. If you (or anyone else for that matter) have further questions for me, please go ahead and ask.
Okay, moving onto United States of Tara... I remember when the series was airing for the first time, my sister had seen a few episodes and told me I should watch it (she knows I cannot resist either books or movies, be they good or bad, that involve mental health, developmental disabilities, and cults - I am truly fascinated by cults and the psychology of both the people who found and lead them and the people who join them! ) However, I did not have Showtime so I was unable to do so. Thus, this recent viewing is my first rodeo. I know I have a few episodes left to watch, but I believe I have seen enough to voice an opinion.
First, I DID watch your video and I agree with most if not everything you said. While technically, D.I.D. was presented correctly, clinically speaking, the alters themselves did not make much sense, and seemed to only be there to cause trouble and make other people uncomfortable. That is not their purpose... alters come into being to take on and help manage, compartmentalize, or just totally hide the memories of the host's trauma. I can see an alter emerging as a protector or aggressor if the host is in a situation where she is in danger or about to have a severe anxiety attack or something. I take issue with the scenes portraying the alters coming out simply to cause trouble or satisfy their own needs, no matter what their host (Tara) might be in the middle of doing. In short, the alters are all pretty awful and it makes you wonder what each one's actual role is, because very rarely do they come out in order to protect Tara. As for Tara herself, I think I found her to be a more sympathetic character than you did, although her refusal to ever take responsibility for anything that "Not Me" did was EXTREMELY annoying to me. Also annoying to me: the missed opportunity the writers had to offer SOME explanation as to WHY each alter is so awful and why Tara herself is a bit selfish and really, really good at making herself the victim of everything, even stuff her alters do.
I know this comment is already stupidly ridiculously long but stay with me for just a tiny bit longer. I'm not going to address EVERY aspect of the show that I thought was good or problematic, just this particular one. Okay, as far as Tara goes, while her selfishness and often inappropriate neediness and frustrating, largely unspoken demand for her own caretaking from her husband and children is annoying and likely doesn't endear her to the audience. It clearly doe not endear her to the other characters on the show! However, while the show BARELY touches on it, it does provide enough info to allow the viewer to figure out WHY she may act that way and be a little more empathetic to her.
The way Tara's sister and parents treat her, accusing her of "acting" and being dramatic as neither of them believes her regarding her condition, you can assume she did not grow up with a strong support system. Even her sister's behavior and personality (she is VERY self-involved and also avoids taking responsibility for her mistakes and indiscretions) indicate that neither of them had a happy childhood, felt safe and secure in their own home, and likely did hot have had much of a support system back then either. It makes sense for them to be self-involved and feel absolved from responsibility as they likely developed those traits while very young and trying to be their own support system. Tara's therapist, Dr. Ocean, eventually drops her as a client because, as she admitted early on in the series, she really doesn't know much about D.I.D. and had never treated it before. The doctor felt she was not qualified to go any further with Tara's treatment, so what she did was the ethical thing to do. However, Dr. Ocean being part of adult Tara's support system and then, as Tara sees it, abandoning her simply reinforces those feelings of being alone, unworthy, and unable to trust anyone but herself - whom she feels a bit shaky about too.
I do have some thoughts about the alters and why they might be so awful but this post is long enough already. Maybe another day.
Keep up the good work, Wyn!!!
My jaw dropped at the medication thing. Woooow. I remember being put on Depakote as a teen to help with my "mood swings" (but in reality were switches) and of course it didnt help! No medication can stop switching. My therapist was clear very early on that theres no medicine to "cure" DID. To help adjacent syptoms like severe anxiety and depression? Sure! But dissociation needs grounding, not mood stabilizers or god forbid sedatives.
Thank you for anothervawesome vid! Your channel is one of our favorites to watch. Youre all relateable and thank you for the work you do.
Ugh! Thank you for the review, we have avoided that show and will now continue to do so. My pet peeve is that the media always makes alters out to be such extreme personalities. None of us are that way, yes we are obviously different people but there isn't a really angry one, a really shy one etc. We are pretty much as well-rounded as everyone else. It is also unrealistic because our system, like most, did their best to appear to be the same person for years. The whole point was to protect from us being hurt so we wouldn't go out of way to act to dramatic extremes where we could be pointed out and it would become obvious that there was something different. We spend most of the time all trying to desperately stay safe and blend in, not to try to make it even more dangerous for ourselves. - Lin
Tara was *very* toxic to our system, and we've just started picking the pieces back up now, almost ten years later.
The creators should be ashamed... But they probably don't even care.
When watching the show I thought about how people in the DID community must feel, and if any of the show was harmful. I’m sorry to hear that the show was so toxic to your system.
well, just think about pedo st spi producer
Stuff like this makes me so happy that I learned about DID, and from there that I have it, via channels from systems like yours. So much added pain on top of the trauma I only know the very edges of, avoided because I had good representation with relatively healthy systems to understand my own system, and begin catering to more than just one alter's interests, now that I'm aware that not only are they people as well, but that they can be good, safe, people, that not everyone is some kind of persecutor just because we have arguments. Thank you so much for being here, being better than popular media.
Hi Wyn! We just found your channel from watching a video on DissociaDID regarding SPLIT and Glass. How did we miss this show? But after listening to your video, sounds like we didn't miss anything worthwhile. Can't wait to go back and watch your other videos. Just wanted to say Hi and say as an almost 51 yr old DID patient living with this disorder I can say as the Co-Manager that we have two grown children that are wonderful, responsible, articulate and well-rounded people that have full-time jobs and our daughter is married with two children herself. So again, nice to meet you and can't wait to see your other videos. ♥ Lani ♥
i'm planning on writing a musical about a multiple and every time i hear about something in the media that didn't get it right, it makes me want to get it right even more.
Thank you for making this video..very educational, never seen the show and never will after watching this. Love you and your system Wyn
As a "new" system I'm glad to have a channel i can go to get advice and learn from thank you so much for everything you guys do and create!!
~May
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings on this show. The entertainment industry definitely has a far way to go to an accurate portrayal of DID and most other mental illnesses as well.
Wow you really did a good job on this. I feel the same way about the show.
I have DID and love United States of Tara just because Toni Collette is an incredible actress. Also, I love Max. I love all of Tara’s alters as well. The show has a lot of flaws, but there is also a lot to like about it.
This was a really good review. Thank you for making. As someone who does not have DID, I honestly do like the show, but I also see all of the issues with it that you're pointing out, and completely agree. I'd really like to write/be a part of making a show where the main character has DID, but isnt a villain, or problematic in the way that U.S.T. was, and this review really helped me to nail down what some of those issues and concerns are.
Wyn (and the rest of the ES crew): I'm so glad I found your channel, and this video specifically. I do not have DID myself, so my only experience with it up to now has been United States of Tara. When I first started watching your videos I was shocked at what DID is really like because it's so different from what I saw on USofT.
Tara's alters are all portrayed as downright menaces, and they cause nothing but mayhem and pain for Tara and her family. As I've learned from your channel (and a few others I've watched in the last few days), alters are created by the mind as a means of protection from trauma and they persist in adulthood for a similar purpose, but there's no sense of that in Tara's case at all. While they did show that Tara's alters emerged when she was in a moment of particular stress, the alters just seemed to cause trouble for Tara and the family and then just disappear. As you said, this gives a much different and much scarier depiction of DID than what you've experienced. My first thought about you when I saw you had DID was "Oh, that's so awful. She's condemned to a life of suffering and pain." because that's what I learned from USofT. I'm so glad that's not the reality for you or for a lot of people with DID.
I wish they'd made an effort to depict the real reason DID occurs and how a DID system is not just a collection of wacky, scary characters that show up unannounced and cause trouble, but how you function as a *system* to take care of each other and take care of you. Tara's alters did not communicate with each other at all and there was no sense of "this is a team effort and we're here to take care of Tara." I was surprised to find out from you that your alters all "live" together in a shared space in your head that manifests itself as a physical place and that most of them communicate with each other. Rather than the total chaos and strife depicted in USofT, your system seems pretty functional and doesn't seem to terrorize your family and friends on a daily basis.
Anyway, this comment is super long, but the upshot is that USofT depicted DID as a lifetime of terror and suffering, and I'm so relieved to find out that it's not (always) like that.
I hear where you're coming from, but I personally loved the show, and would rank it in my top 4 favorite shows of all time.
Mostly, I think it's a show showing us Toni Collette's masterful acting. The fact that she can portray these 4 characters (and sometimes more) so distinctly is awe inspiring (not to mention her American accent is the best I've seen on a female actress). I didn't love season 3, but I was devastated when it ended so abruptly.
I loved that the show took chances and was so unique for its time (this is before Netflix started regularly producing television shows). I loved Tara's kids, and their unique characters. Also, it got me super interested in DID. I realize that it's an extreme dramatization of the disorder, but if it wasn't for the show, I'm not sure I would have learned about DID as much as I have since. There were lots of interesting things about the show (it's been awhile, so I don't remember them all).
However, as much as I loved the show (and I did), I would never tell someone to watch it if they want to know what DID is, or how it looks. Even before I really knew about DID, I still understood that it wasn't a representation of what DID really is. But that's TV. It's rarely real. The same goes for Monk and how OCD is portrayed, or Grey's anatomy, or Orange is the New Black (I'm sure prison isn't actually like sleep-away camp). I don't go to TV for the realism, I go for the entertainment.
THANK YOU!!!! It IS a t.v. show. Not a documentary, biography or whatever. It has tui have some entertaining element and I found it realistic in the sense that no one handles everything perfect. Would they have the same opinion had this been a story about a real person life?
I absolutely agree w/ you....I am only watching this video right now because so many years ago I watched that show and I notice a few times a year I will remember that show and get upset again that NURSE JACKIE GOT ANOTHER SEASON OVER UNITED STATES OF TARA! They were already robbed given the fact they had to fit not even 30min of all that interestingness into one episode!! But my point is I would know nothing about DID if I hadn’t wanted it and went out of my way to research everything I could on it and movies or documentaries like it! Yes like any show not a documentary it is over exaggerated but I expect that from something that has to keep people watching, wondering and in suspense but all in all the show made me aware that DID exist and how difficult it must be to have something that a lot of people say isn’t real, this effecting someone emotionally but also medically when trying money for more research and studies and all that stuff! How frustrating! I only thought w/o all the exaggeration was how hard that must be and how amazing the mind is and what it will do to protect us but I don’t remember having any negative feeling about people with DID. I feel it would be foolish or ignorant of me to base in opinion solely or even mostly on something that’s fiction. I feel a lot of movies talk about a lot of things, people, views, god u name it and we’ve got a ton of movies on everything but the show was funny and emotional, it tackled something not really ever tackled and for such a tiny amount of time for something so big I felt did a good job but that is just my opinion and I wanted to share.
You all make good points. It is just a show built around entertainment rather than actually informing people about the realities of living with DID. And it can be a gateway for those of us that like to research and educate ourselves on subjects like mental health. However, unfortunately the majority of society does not have the urge to take it upon themselves to gain that kind of knowledge. And not everyone has the awareness that subjects like this are frequently misrepresented for entertainment's sake. Fiction has a profound effect on how people in general view reality. Especially in topics where the average person knows little or nothing. When harmful stereotypes or falsehoods have been perpetuated over multiple sources, people start to associate that condition with those stereotypes. For those of us that can seperate fiction from reality, entertainment is simply entertainment. But for people that have a condition like DID, shows like this can easily become a type of persecution. And for people who don't seem to know better, they carry the information they see on TV as fact. Oddly, especially in matters of physical and mental health. That's one of the main ways that public misconceptions happen. "I saw it on TV, so it must be true." The average person trusts that a production will do their dudilagence when talking about a real life subject matter. However, that isn't always the case. In fact, some productions will blatantly lie or stretch the truth for their storyline or for shock factor. Sadly it ends up bleeding into the real world and having real world consequences for a lot of people.
@@BionicBear88 I agree even if it is a show it still has negative impacts that will seep outside the Theater.
Whilst I agree with you to a point, shows like this and movies like Split and Identity make people think we’re dangerous killers or manipulative abusers. Yes, sometimes we have violent or volatile alters, but very rarely would an alter “kill” someone. If they did it’s because the host was capable of it all along. One of my alters choked someone because they were triggered, but he would never kill someone and would only hurt someone physically if I was in danger, emotionally broken and unable to react, or incapacitated in the head space which is what happened. My point is, he could never go further than I ever would. He would never kill someone, maim someone etc because I’m incapable of that. Alters are only capable of what the host is capable of. So if an alter was to kill someone, the host was capable of murder. People don’t just develop murderous alters. It might be entertaining for you, but people like me get ostracised or disbelieved because of them. The only one I enjoyed was Identity because it shows the host engaging in integrative therapy at different places, and whilst it does feed the “murderous alter” stereotype, it’s implied that Malcolm was capable of killing those people anyway. He had a hatred for prostitutes because of his mother being one and the child alter responsible for killing those people in a motel was full of rage and trauma. James McAvoy was really great in Split by depiction of the alters but the ending is ridiculous. I’m aware this is tied to superhero franchise Unbreakable, but using DID as a villain origin story makes me roll my eyes. Which is why I’m working on the opposite where a hero has DID and uses her alters and associated superpowers to save the world, rather than using it as an excuse to be a villain.
What an awesome video! I watched the show in college & had never heard about DID before so it was my first exposure to it. After I found your channel I tried watching it again & could not get through it because it made me so angry. I loved hearing your perspective on it. Thank you! Take care everyone in the entropy system & thank you for helping me understand DID 💜💜💜
I watched this video originally in 2018, rewatched it a few days ago before watching the show as it’s on Hulu now. I finished the show and am rewatching this video now. If I’d seen USoT when it initially came out, I don’t know how I would’ve felt about DID. I don’t know how empathetic I would’ve been. Ironically, and sadly like many others, I first heard about DID through split. Eventually I binged your videos and a few other systems; Started educating myself. Found out a loved one was diagnosed with DID. Spoke out more on the effects of Split. So watching USoT now just broke my fucking heart. The lack of accountability, the plot lines in general, and especially the second half of the third season... I’m sorry this is the first representation you saw. I know you all are off of TH-cam now. I hope you’re doing okay. Thank you for educating us while you did and letting us get to know individuals in your system.
As someone with DID I related heavily to the character and how raw they portray her. Was glamorized of course like I said to be expected by Hollywood. My alters like the show as well. We want to watch it together as we are all most co conscious now besides a couple alters I haven’t fully met and integrated with. 🙏❤️
Thank you for taking the time to address this! I have been wondering about this...
This is a great review for this show. Thank you. It felt bad at times, and you nailed it.
Toni ate that role.
She really did. Her acting chops are UNREAL.
You made a fantastic video here. I watched this show some time ago, way before I started looking into D.I.D., and couldn't get through even the first episode because I thought it was so incredibly disrespectful to people with mental illness(es). I'm so glad you are able to articulate everything so well. Thank you!
One of my most favourite things to do is to make comics, and I’ve wanted to start making a webcomic that represents DID in a more realistic and positive way, seeing all the horrible representation in media just drives that passion more because it’s so hard to find good representation out there. Hopefully in the future I can create something that helps
As someone with DID, it is frustrating to see it portrayed as senationalized as USoT. Most people in my day to day life don't know we have DID we present as one person and are responsible for everyone's actions regardless of what they are. Season 3 was literally the most triggering thing I've ever watched in my entire life and I suffered through a movie I can't remember the name of now, but it was one with the solution to DID was a machine where you pushed a button and it integrated or deleted an alter....
Anyway the last episode pissed me off because it made integration seem like this simple let's make a deal at a table thing and it really isn't that easy... If it was I'm sure none of us would willingly choose to deal with the struggles of DID... Anyway thanks for the video and the insight!
I'm really glad you covered this, because I've heard other people with DID talk about, "Split," and I was curious about, "United States of Tara." I want to validate all your criticisms of it, it's pretty on the nose. So I do not have DID. I actually loved United States of Tara when I was a lot younger. This and Kim Noble's book "All of Me," were my introduction to DID. Looking back now, I can see how harmful this would be to someone with a recent diagnosis. I kind of think of like the show "13 Reasons Why," in that it's a compelling drama, but a total garbage fire in terms of mental health. Tara's relationship with her son bothered me especially because I can see how much of their relationship ended up being abusive. I'm glad you called out her husband's behavior too, because it didn't fully hit me when I first watched it how shitty it was. Her interject poisoning the professor is definitely the greatest of the shows sins, but I think the biggest problem is that it doesn't understand how serious a topic it's addressing. In this way, it's kind of like, "Juno," which really should have ended with Patrick Bateman's character in jail. In a case where you're representing people without power, like in the DID community, you need to understand what an impact your show can have. It were about another dysfunctional family, it could be just another trashy kind of problematic drama. But because of the DID, it ends up delivering a damaging picture of people who are not dangerous and deserve to have access to the care they need.
Now, I'd like to throw in my pitch for a new DID movie, a cute indy comedy about someone who falls in love with someone with DID. It would be a light hearted rom com, would touch on what it's really like to get to know a system, and would be about the system and the other person falling in love and learning to heal together. As well as how a system works together as a family and deals with a big life change while respecting and supporting each other.
The show had so much potential. The first 2 seasons had some good stuff mixed into the dramatized storyline. But the 3rd season seemed to destroy any of the good stuff that could be gleaned from it. I was really disappointed in the series by the end. I think it's a fun show for people who have been dealing with their diagnosis for a long time and are at a solid stable place with it. However, it's not one I'd ever recommend to someone who doesn't know much about DID or who is newly diagnosed. It would've scared the hell out of me in the beginning, then pissed me off later on. I can watch it at this point - the first 2 seasons and half of the 3rd season - for entertainment because it's written as a comedy about a dysfunctional family and I get that. But I just can't look at the last half of season 3 without being angry. For all the reasons you mentioned. It fed all my biggest fears.
Wish System -I really had a good time watching the first 2 seasons. I didn't expect a good or accurate depiction not DID.
BUT the end disappointed me greatly, because it took the easy cowardly way out giving an audience what the audience would want or expect.
Can't watch the end without getting angry at the writers for that.
Yeah, there's just so much bad going on with USoT. I suppose if someone didn't have and/or didn't know about DID, it wouldn't be terribly offensive to them and may be entertaining, but the harm still slips in even then. If it's the first DID related material they're exposed to, it's going to seed a lot of negative notions about it. Not to mention, as you mentioned, if you're newly diagnosed or are diagnosed in the future and it's what you've seen, you're likely to be fearful of DID.
It's too close to realistic while being too overblown and negatively unrealistic. That's the problem. It SEEMS much more reasonable and feasible to someone who doesn't understand DID and isn't educated about it; while using incredibly awful plot devices and terrible people as alters for dramatic impact. Whereas at least horror film depictions are obviously going to be easier to say, "Yeah that's really not the case, obviously!"
Both can be damaging, but I agree, USoT is far worse for poisoning perceptions of people with DID than any serial killer movie. Sigh.
I'm here and ready for class!
I'd just like to take a moment to say Thank You for this 🙌🏻 From one system to another. Back at the beginning of my diagnosis, before the days of "Split" and "Glass" - "United States of Tara" was the only media that had been portraying DID in any form at all. (Besides Sybil, but we won't go there) I felt just as you did when I watched this show. I was made to think that this show would be a safe haven for those with DID and properly portray what others couldn't about the reality of living with someone with DID. What this show portrayed crushed me. I felt as if I were just as Tara was; too much of a burden for anyone to logically foresee living with in a stable environment. What I couldn't realize is that I was managing with my system much better than she was with hers. I was not allowing such brash behaviour and I never would have allowed anyone in my system to preform the actions that hers did. It gives me hope to know that someone else out there feels the same about this show's portrayal as I do. And I couldn't thank you enough for taking the time to express it for others to see our perspective on it. Thank you so much. You've done this so well. Keep up the good work!
I love listening to you. If I had the money to make sure you had the time I would make sure you were writing a book. I would make sure it was heavily advertised as well as your videos and channel would be too. You are So intelligent and well spoken! Keep it up.
Thanks for this video, my knowledge of DID comes from shows like this, books and other media. Videos like this really help me understand DID in a better way, I personally don't have DID but I find it really interesting and I hope you all don't mind me watching your videos to better understand the life of a person with DID.
I loved hearing your POV. I loved the show (as someone who doesn't knowingly know anyone with DID). I did have issues with the family dynamic for sure, but for me I love Toni Collette and I was like, "Wow, she's such a great actor." But listening to you and TRYING to find more reviews on the show I see how it is problematic. Of course I did have my suspicions in the first place! I'm glad you decided to make a video about this. I've been looking for reviews on the representation of DID in this show for a while! It's interesting that they had a consultant, but used the information very minimally. It's always about the shock value and the money productions can get from that, but watching this show did make me curious about DID and want to research! When will we get a more realistic representation of DID in the media I wonder?
I've started watching this video just to hear about the tv series but ended up watching it because of how you've described the character of Tara. We're currently in the process of moving out and a huuuuuuuge chunk of our trauma has been caused by the mother who gave birth to us mainly because amongst other things she does the exact same thing over and over and over no matter how ill it makes us we're usually pretty good with knowing how to deal with trauma but since she had always portrayed herself as the good character without covering it with actions beyond saying the bad things she's done including the whole lot of manipulation weren't her fault. Nothing is an excuse to force your child to live your life for you and for yourself to disguise it as "getting help" and ignoring how your child feels about this and all of your constant tantrums for over two decades. She used to be depressed when she was young but now that I had made her get professional help and do something with her own life as I afinally grow financially more and more independent, she has gotten a lot better and I can finally have a semi normal conversation with her every now and then but that also means none of us will ever get our childhood back ever again or at least not the way we should have and it sucks and hurts quite a bit. As hyper off topic as this comment already is, you confirming that these kinds of behaviours of the said character were wrong and bad has actually helped me get reassured that leaving this house is a good idea because we could survive this for sometime but leaving is the only healthy option for just about the entire system. Anyways, I hope you're all well ♡ -Jack
For us the saddest thing about this series was that it’s clear from the start that Tara and her System do not have adequate or appropriate support from mental health practitioners.
By the time they get directed towards actual Specialists the shit has already hit the fan big time and it should never have gotten to that point.
Whilst the show got a lot wrong it’s depiction of the lack of proper treatment and support that really hits home and is the sad reality for so many Systems.
We thought we were being to judge mental with the show but couldn’t even force ourselves to watch past episode 3 season 1. Most of the time our daughter doesn’t know who’s out unless Mouse suddenly says it’s dessert night. We had high hopes for this show but a huge let down. They need to do a true documentary. No dramatic over the top story line. Just a few willing systems that want to spread the truth about DID. It’s great seeing you and the other systems that we’ve come to respect and call friends. You guys have helped us become closer and now we are doing better at communicating.
Hi! New sub here!
1. You have such a strong and interesting opinion, from someone who loved the original show, it's amazing to be able to see things from your perspective, and it shines a light on subtleties (and mostly, not so subtle things...) I might have ignored in my lack of knowledge about DID. So thank you for the insight! Totally changed my perspective. 2. You (Wyn, host, physical external body) are GORGEOUS!
Love from Venezuela to all of the System! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I was 19 when this show came out, and it will always hold a big place in my heart, as I look it up today. Yes, it didn’t cover DID correctly. My mom suffers from bi polar and psycho frantic disorder. At the time of release, mental health wasn’t shown in this way on tv. Yes, it wasn’t exactly my life and at the age of 29 we’re finally understanding what my mother is dealing with, but this was a show that showed me comfort. That my family wasn’t alone at times. It’s a show that shows in hard times, you can always depend on family.
It showed through hard times of whatever, with love you can get through it with support.
I was recommended this show, so glad I got to hear your take first! I’m definitely avoiding it!
Btw I love your shirt!!!
Hi Wyn! I just watched the first episode and I thought the same things you said. Though, you're right... I'm desperate to find a positive representation, so those negative feelings stood aside from the positive feelings of feeling "omg yes, I can be THAT awkward!".
I think I have to see the show but now I don't know if I should hahahaha.
Thank you for your honest review :)
We love you
Out of all the millions of youtubers out there, you're by far my favorite. Thank you all for your devotion to this channel, and your content as well.
Maybe, if you have time, you can try to make a short film or something similar that people with DID can relate to? It would be nice to see some actual.. good representation of DID for once.
I watched this show for the first time when I was eleven. At the time I really enjoyed it and it was one of the reasons that I took up an interest in mental health and more specifically, DID. However, I am now fourteen and as I look back on the show I don't like it as much. The whole storyline with Bryce and him being a murderer are what especially bothered me. I understand that it was probably only over dramatized because it's television and they need more viewers, but I felt like they could've done more to put a positive spot light on DID. Seeing as though that television and movies tend to give DID such a negative portrayal, I've recently started writing a novel about a detective with DID. She has a traumatic past and has a system of six, but still manages to do her job and help fix the world's injustices. I hope to someday see more positive shows, novels, etc. regarding DID. I think it's something important that people should know about and I respect what you (the Entropy System) and what countless other channels are trying to do!!
KJ Does Stuff basically the same
This is such an interesting PoV to hear because when I first watched the show I really did like it. I liked the kids and the alters and the fact that most of the bad things seen to happen because Tara is avoiding dealing with things (unfortunately through the advice of the people around her) rather that working things out and communicating. Which is a good point to keep in mind for most mental illnesses.
But, yeah... I can totally see how the third season really fucks with that idea and how the show as a whole could be really dangerous for representation and for those just diagnosed.
Over all I do think the show can be amusing at points and has some really good scenes as well as amazing acting (the dance under the wedding arch gets me every time with Max's speech), but it suffers from bad/lazy writing and trying to hard to be edgy/cool. Which seeing as the main writer was also the creator of 'Juno' and 'Jennifer's Body'... The quality of the story is not all that surprising.
I found this extremely helpful. Fantastic review.
Thanks for another great video! After watching this video I have learned a lot. You're amazing!
Wyn (idk if thats how you spell her name) would be the besst mooom
I'm really am glad that you brought this show up! It's something that isn't talked about a lot in the community because at least it doesn't portray her as a serial killer. Thank you again for this series! It's pretty cool to have a rating system for movies and shows about DID; so far I've not heard of a great depiction of it but really liked Sense 8, which I tried watching again because of your reviews!
My system got something out of United States of Tara in the first few months that we found out we were multiple--mostly because we have an alter that (especially before communication started working a bit better) was a lot like T. The reason why I like it now is that it shows that with DID, you can have a life but it's not going to be perfect. There are definitely things that don't make sense in the show--the alters don't seem to be helpful to Tara whatsoever. The family life depicted is insanely dysfunctional. The idea of a system depicted in an everyday setting was huge for me at the beginning though, finding out you have DID (especially a couple years ago when there really wasn't much on youtube or anything) can be super lonely.
I just found out a less than a month ago that i have DID, and what scares me the most about these shows falsely depicting DID is how that is what people will think of if i try to tell someone that I have DID. I know nothing horrible would happen because of DID but others don't; and I don't want to be forced into an insane asylum for the rest of my life, or can't get a job, or have good friends, simply because people are afraid of us even though in reality there is no reason. If the public at large believes people with DID are monsters, then to them that's what we are.
I’m researching DID because I want to create a character who has DID. I don’t want to watch any films like Split due to its negative portrayal of DID. Your videos are helping me to not only get ideas but also to educate me about DID. Thank you so much
Thank you so much for this. I really didn’t have any idea about DID when I watched USOT a long time ago. I’ve been watching your videos recently and they all confirmed that the tv show was super fake. I knew it’s not that rare of a disorder and for someone to be that dysfunctional with DID is not normal. Just like how most disorders are portrayed IRL. Anyways, thanks again, I rly love you and your system! Thank you for sharing and spreading the knowledge!
Thank for talking about this, I was really curious.
I have DID & I like the show.
I... have no words. I have had people recommend this to me and I watched a bit of it and had second hand embarrassment. We are NOTHING like that.
Mmmm I disagree there are some accurate things in the show
Oh my god I remembered I watched this show years ago and seeing an actress from it play in a recent movie made me almost rewatch the show. I'm glad I watched this first cause dang, I forgot all the insane stuff that happened. Especially with Tara's daughter, she was always going through something traumatic and barely getting help for it. thank goodness I watched this video!
I was just trying to understand my diagnosis when that show came out. I watched a couple of episodes and it freaked us out so bad!! I've been very scared to watch anything else like that. Have recently begun to view your videos and am glad we found you ♥
and yet U did not see me out here every week for three years breaking down the show , the writers room , the characters and how it all began and ended.. mmhmm
System responsibility. Thank you. I'm so late to the table about handling my time loss responsibly but I appreciate this and am feel alot less alone since finding bloggers talking about how to manage dissociation with integrity. Thank you.
Throughout the whole video I kept thinking exactly what you said at the end- at least Split is clearly a horror movie. Even people who have only heard of multiple personality disorder one time would have enough common sense to understand that a serial killer alter is very rare/unrealistic. But Tara presents DID as more realistic.
I feel the same way. I have a loved one who will be living with me, newly diagnosed with DID. After watching just the 1st season of Tara, I was Very Alarmed. This show scared me a LOT!
It’s unfortunate to hear about this show. I have never seen it but I can still feel through what you described what they were trying and failed to do. I hope one day a show does this disorder justice. Like maybe we meet a new alter in the system and he learns about all the head mates and grows to be a new protector. The host isn’t revealed until near the middle or end of season one and we get to see him front in the body which is female and we get to see his confusion in meeting all the host’s friends. We’d be able to feel the confusion cuz we the audience have never them before either but maybe we’ve heard about them a little?
+Shadow1Yaz Hey someone get this person a director and some cash, I think they’re on to something!
girl im addicted to ur videos and love all of you
Thank you for the video!
You explained it so clearly! and Wyn you look/talk like my big sister. I really like you >< thanks you all for the videos. have a good day xx
I saw this show a few years ago and it’s great to hear your opinion and I agree.
the way she talked about bryce how he was suddenly introduced for drama and was the evil alters kinda sounds like what total drama did with mike/mal
The show and character the writing are all to play up to mainstream society's standards of what they want to watch on TV. What they want to watch on TV is drama bullshit that is always exaggerated. It's really unfortunate that people will take it at face value and believe that it's a proper portrayal of someone with did
I love this video, really great analysis. I watched a bit of this show but couldn't make it through-- I must say I agree with your assessment!
I really loved the show, but seeing it through your eyes I have to agree with you. I just hope the next time Hollywood tackle the subject they improve on the substance. I'm really enjoying your content even though I don't have DID. I am in my 40's and have just been diagnosed with Bipolar 2 after been thrown around the health care system for over 20 years so I understand where you are coming from. Keep up the good work. 👍
Wow, shit, thanks for this! I've never watched the show but I remember when it first came out and something about it turned me off and I never bothered (and I was a lot of TV lol). I might have even mentioned it in your first media video just because I knew it existed. Thank you so much for deep diving into it!
I saw a few episodes before I knew I was multiple, went back and rewatched it after a few of my headmates reached out and made contact with me, then one more time with my then-boyfriend, because that was the only representation I knew of. That last time, I knew enough to recognize how bad it was, and spent most of the time telling him "that would never actually happen" "it's actually more like this" "I think they were trying to portay this, but that's not really how it works" ect. I have a sentimental connection to the show, since I went back to it through every big step in my journey, but I would never recommend it as a way to learn about the disorder.
I don't have DID, but this disorder is interesting to me since I too fell for the stereotype at first but soon learned what it truly was. And as an aspiring author, it was only a matter of time until I decided that I wanted to write a story that includes a system - not ABOUT a system but one that includes one. Watching these kinds of videos teach me on what NOT to do with this system, so thank you for this review - it was very insightful 😄
I only hope media would understand DID better though, there are so many bad examples of it - and people even relate it to stories that have nothing to do with it, such as Jekyll & Hyde (they aren't split, per say, nor does Jekyll experience amnesia as Hyde; Jekyll also created Hyde with his formula and not through a reaction to childhood trauma so you can't say it's DID)
Oh no. There's no system responsibility in later episodes!? But that's important! Even without a diagnosis yet, we're all for system responsibility.
Thank you for this video! I watched this show six years ago and still couldn’t really get my head around why it sat so uncomfortably with me.
This is why I am scared to tell people about my situation. Do you think maybe one of you could make a video about how to come out to friends and family as a system despite of garbage like this show most likely being the only way they could know about it? Or juts how to come out as a system in general?
Hey,
Could you do a video like this about Korean drama ,,Kill me, Heal me"?
It's about a man with DID. Of course, as it's Korean drama, there is a romance in it, which may not be well written and relatable, but when it comes to representing DID - in my opinion it's quite good (except the end - I don't want to spoil anything, but I'm sure everyone, who watched it, will understand what I'm talking about). And sometimes switches are exaggerated. But still, I think it's quite appropriate.
Buy I don't have DID, so I would like to hear an opinion about it from someone who has.
I honestly think that Tara was one of the best shows to help me learn of what's actually going on inside me that other people have seen that I don't normally see yes there's some mistakes in there but for the majority of the part it really did help me realize that there is something more going on than what I thought it was so it's really hard for me to hear people bashing it when I don't believe that they were trying to portray things awfully they were just trying their hardest to get it done and I think we should preciate that
I saw United States of Tara both before and after my diagnosis of D.I.D. Before the dx, I did not credit it as anything but fiction. I mean, I THOUGHT maybe, POSSIBLY, SOMEONE out in the world SOMEWHERE might have this disorder, IF it was real. But I did not really believe it. And honestly, I thought "Thank goodness I don't have to deal with this, since it's obviously a devastating and horrible, life-ruining disorder." Then I was diagnosed with D.I.D. I watched the show again, hoping for something good. I was devastated for all the reasons you gave in this video. Especially in the end, the show feels hopeless. Tara's life is horrible. I'm happy to report, though, that after a full year with this diagnosis, we have never tried to hurt anyone, nor have we destroyed our life. In fact--this is the weird part--we are actually living our BEST LIFE, in the full knowledge of our disorder, and we're kicking ass at it! Thanks for saying so many amazing things about the danger of United States of Tara. It is, without question, feeding the stigmas.
P.S. Tara needed a better therapist, better support, and a TH-cam community like we have.
i didn't even know this show existed and just from your retelling i want to unsee it