If I had to choose someplace low-rent in NYC, I think I'd choose the subway. It's massive, less smelly and dirty, and there are unused parts of it so you'd probably be safe and uninterrupted most of the time.
"I can feel my shell tightening" What the fuck. Ugh. no. no. That concentration w/pizza scene. Come on. laaaame. the 90s live action is so much funnier. Damn you Michael Bay "Sensei Ice" HAHAHAHA; ah, I love that throwback. XD What the hell is with Donatello. I do sort of like the Ghost Buster's pack on him but...I kind of like the dweeb-charm from the 90s. Like, you knew he was a nerd but it wasn't by anything he wore, it was all in how he acted and...the words that he used. But not as over the top. 13:07 PUMA MAN. hahahaha. I love it when they reference MST3K
+drsdino Pizza Hut pizza tastes like feet though, which is what they're eating in the scene (because product placement). ...Actually I take that back. Pizza Hut pizza takes like nothing.
"Giant Mutant Rabbits?! Even DeForest Kelley wouldn't say yes to that movie!" Haha I finally got that reference after listening to Rifftrax riff on that movie with DeForest in it. Those giant rabbits were kind of cute though.
"Pretty sharp for a battletoad..." We're going to save the world "by force feeding pizza to turtles." Also Sensei Ice "go ninja go ninja go" XD and pumaman's daughter... there are a lot... "MICHAEL!" "Luckily turtles are born climbers, with amazing grip."
This was the movie that made me realise how fucking weird that scene was and scenes like it. You invite someone in and take them to a room to tell them a story whilst pictures on the wall tell the story. Honestly the only time it's slightly more except able is if the person being told asks about it.
They could've chosen JJ Abbrams, Peter Jackson or even Speilberg to bring back the TMNT to theaters. But instead...they chose the most shallow, chauvinistic, sophomoric and brainless sleazeball in Hollywood; Michael Bay. What the H, you guys; WHAT THE H
sweetcinnamonpnchkin Still, those involved with this movie had no clear idea of what they were doing. The sequel, admittedly did SOME things right. But that's the key word, some; not all
Jimmy Zhao Spielberg's only an executive producer for those films. Meaning they get to slap his name on the project to make people think it'll be a good movie. Even though he's barely involved in it whatsoever.
(8:40)...Oh,c'mon,Rifftrax! THAT'S your response?!? No "Night Of The Lepus" joke...or "Donnie Darko" reference...hell,even an Ice Cream Bunny-related pun would've been better!! An opportunity missed...
Wow, that product placement is embarrassing. Showing the box is one thing, but Splinter monologuing about it the cheeses and how great it is....douche-chills.
Josh The Weirdo Well, at least they're actually in the movie, so...I'll give it that. Still, I don't this movie and the second movie will ever top the original 1987 animated series, or the 2003 version or the 2012 version, in my opinion. Oh well!!! Here's to the third and final Michael Bay-produced TMNT movie.
I don't know this movie, but with a heroine and a villainess, there's almost no way on earth it didn't have a heroine / villainess cat-fight scene toward the end. If so, I hope there were some good riffs about that. (I know those scenes entertain people, but they're such a cliche.)
All the good ones have them, except for the Phantom movie where the villainess suddenly switched sides. Then she and heroine just clung to each other for the rest of the film which was all right, but nowhere as near as hot as a catfight would've been.
2:11 - "Special guest Director, JJ Abrahms." Seriously, f*** that style of lens flare! I'm a film-maker and all I see are videos of ways to add that look into your shots and call it "anamorphic". It's cheesey, overused, and where the hell did it come from in that scene??
Just keep Bay away from your franchise fans. Don’t let him do this to other beloved franchises. Baypocolypse should never have spread beyond Transformers. Or the Bayfire, or something with Bay and another terrible thing that indicates the spread of destruction. Random massive explosions, nonsensical action scenes, no real respect for the franchise, one dimensional characters, heavy handed product placement which is least of the issues, giant steroid ridden mutant monsters parodies of the characters, and it has Whoopi Goldberg in it. There will of course be many who like this some who just want to go against the grain, but there are people who enjoy the View and that has Whoopi Goldberg also. At this point just screw it and have Bay take on Star Wars. Can’t get too much worse then The Last Jedi.
No matter how often they do it, the "Golden Corral's New Slogan" riffs get me every time.
6:30 "You think you're their father?" "And I think I'm Optimus Wolverine! Make-believe is fun!" XD
That has to be one of their all-time ten best lines.
"The sewer or as it's known in New York, where you can afford to live." XD
Lady_Yuna
Saddest thing about the joke is that it’s probably true!
If I had to choose someplace low-rent in NYC, I think I'd choose the subway. It's massive, less smelly and dirty, and there are unused parts of it so you'd probably be safe and uninterrupted most of the time.
"VHS tape confused a lot of kids out there."
"Mommy, what was that weird rectangle thing?"
"I can feel my shell tightening"
What the fuck.
Ugh. no. no.
That concentration w/pizza scene. Come on. laaaame. the 90s live action is so much funnier. Damn you Michael Bay
"Sensei Ice" HAHAHAHA; ah, I love that throwback. XD
What the hell is with Donatello. I do sort of like the Ghost Buster's pack on him but...I kind of like the dweeb-charm from the 90s. Like, you knew he was a nerd but it wasn't by anything he wore, it was all in how he acted and...the words that he used. But not as over the top.
13:07 PUMA MAN. hahahaha. I love it when they reference MST3K
"Shredder: basically a drama-queen swiss army knife." Ahahahahahhahahahahha!
"knife fighting with a giant rat; I miss New York in the 80s" ... holy cow that is so true!
4:04 "But this is pigeon shit on cardboard". Couldn't describe Pizza Hut any better than that
"Its cute that you used culinary and Pizza Hut in the same sentence."
"Cheddar, Provolone, Asiago, Bellagio, Mozzarella of course..." "And they all taste like feet!"
+monkeymouse Hey pizza doesn't taste like feet! Though in my experience feet tend to smell like cheese from time to time.
+drsdino Pizza Hut pizza tastes like feet though, which is what they're eating in the scene (because product placement).
...Actually I take that back. Pizza Hut pizza takes like nothing.
so they got it from papa johns not pizza hutt
April O'Neal: "What's with the hat?"
Rifftrax: "The Queen asks that question to the guards at Buckingham palace every morning."
"Giant Mutant Rabbits?! Even DeForest Kelley wouldn't say yes to that movie!" Haha I finally got that reference after listening to Rifftrax riff on that movie with DeForest in it. Those giant rabbits were kind of cute though.
csgrambauer
Night of the Lepus: the most adorable monster movie you’ll ever see!
Yeah, that’s kind of the problem.
I laughed so hard after that Puma Man reference.
Pu-ma-man, he flies like a moron....
"my mustache makes me fall sideways!"
Pewmaman
That was some DEEP magic.
Help, I'm falling at a 60-degree angle, breaking all the laws of physics!
12:53
Oh fer Pete's sake woman, a bunch of mutant turtles and a walking Ginsu knife just knocked a towering spire at you! SHOW AN EMOTION!
I'm convinced Megan Fox is merely a plastic sex doll brought to life by some dark magic.
I read 'dark magic' as 'drunk magic' and I think that might be even more feasible.
"Pretty sharp for a battletoad..."
We're going to save the world "by force feeding pizza to turtles."
Also Sensei Ice "go ninja go ninja go" XD and pumaman's daughter... there are a lot... "MICHAEL!"
"Luckily turtles are born climbers, with amazing grip."
"There are no fat birds." You, sir, have clearly never been to New Zealand.
And have never heard of borbs.
turkishvan2 They’re not fat.
@@joshuablack8221 The New Zealand pigeon is. And the takahe
Lots of fat birds in Essex too
Or heard of turkeys, ducks, geese, or chickens...
"Don't you want my Windows phone?...
NOT A CHANCE!!!"
"Oh no! It's the smell of Subway bread making! You monster!" lol I hate the smell of subway bread making too
I was going to type my favorite riff but then u guys said a bunch more things that were hilarious and now I can't choose.
This movie deserved to be riffed!
Casey Jones dodged a bullet by not being in this one.
Googala!
Why is splinter an eyewitness sketch of the Jersey Devil?
Fiddy Cent's ice fishing shack.
I lost it.
Angel Miller
Don’t you mean Fifty Cent?
"Grunting Budgets". Classic MST3K
love that pumaman reference
Hey, Fichtner's not always evil, he's also played quite a few colonels who don't have time for your wacky antics!
i liked the back story cave. Thats a true movie cliche.
This was the movie that made me realise how fucking weird that scene was and scenes like it. You invite someone in and take them to a room to tell them a story whilst pictures on the wall tell the story. Honestly the only time it's slightly more except able is if the person being told asks about it.
“Inexplicable wall of boom boxes” got me
"You gotta put that to bed". "That was the only instruction I ever gave to babysitters". Haha. xD
“Enjoy our inexplicable wall of boom boxes!”
Ghostbusters 2016 needs to be on the chopping block!
Some movies are made just to keep RiffTrax in business.
"Where's the fourth?" That line just makes me wonder when/if Transformers Age of Extinction is gonna get the Rifftrax treatment.
For some reason it made me think of the first Narnia movie.
They must Rifftrax the Ghostbuster reboot.
Only way I'm going to watch that movie.
shut up, you dweebs
Captain Cupholder I feel the same way.
That's be like making fun of a turd for being brown.
I second that!
I just realized something. The turtles in this movie look like something Rob Liefeld made up in his sleep.
+Vilmundur Gunnarsson I NEED ALL OF THE POUCHES
That can only be true if you never actually see their feet.
Not far off: they look a lot like Jim Lee's TMNT designs.
Who’s Rob Liefeld?
Doug Glassman
Who’s Jim Lee?
pretty sharp for a Battletoad
CGI almost ruins every movie, how the hell does the puppets and costumes look more real than this BS.
No kidding. This just makes me want to go watch the old live-action movie. Plus that April was hotter, even with her ridiculous big 80's hair.
I absolutely agree! The 90s teenage mutant ninja turtles was so mutch better in pretty mutch very way.
"See you in three years for the sequel!"
Yeah right, like any money grabbing production company could wait THAT long.
actually they said reboot, of which I laughed harder.
1:31 they didn't even try to make that look like a real knot. Visibly escapable by, idk, standing up?
My god that movie looked like the pile of feces I suspected it was. Funny riffs though!
I'm here for the discount at Golden Corral
My third hot trophy wife... that got me XD
They could've chosen JJ Abbrams, Peter Jackson or even Speilberg to bring back the TMNT to theaters.
But instead...they chose the most shallow, chauvinistic, sophomoric and brainless sleazeball in Hollywood; Michael Bay.
What the H, you guys; WHAT THE H
Actually he wasn't the director this time.
sweetcinnamonpnchkin
Still, those involved with this movie had no clear idea of what they were doing.
The sequel, admittedly did SOME things right. But that's the key word, some; not all
sweetcinnamonpnchkin it's something when the film that he did not direct (this movie) is far worse than the films he did direct (transformers)
Spielberg produced Transformers...
Jimmy Zhao Spielberg's only an executive producer for those films. Meaning they get to slap his name on the project to make people think it'll be a good movie. Even though he's barely involved in it whatsoever.
I promise I will not turn out to be evil
good ol' William Fitchner
Witwickey oh God! Danger of actual Shia LaBeouf suddenly quite high!
Can't wait until they get to Star Wars: The Sand Awakens.
Do you think if shredders plan worked will arnet would be a horseman and change his name to bojack
Donatello was voiced by one of the Golden Girls...hahaha
I got this movie on Blu-ray at the dollar store!
The "Witwicky" line still gets me.
CGI overload. These turtles need to be flushed.
If she holds the phone like that during her Skype call, the guy she's talking to is gonna be looking right up her nose.
(8:40)...Oh,c'mon,Rifftrax! THAT'S your response?!? No "Night Of The Lepus" joke...or "Donnie Darko" reference...hell,even an Ice Cream Bunny-related pun would've been better!!
An opportunity missed...
Well they did say even DeForest Kelley wouldn't sign on for this.
Contact and Black Hawk down, William fichtner roles were he is not a villain
why is shredder a transformer?
'Cause 2014 Michael Bay
Michael Bay's dumbest mistake
Cause Optimus Wolverine!
We'll be at it for weeks if we try to determine what exactly is Michael Bay's dumbest mistake, cause I can't even narrow down a top 10.
Why not?
I swear either Megan Fox has only one facial expression or her plastic surgery has gotten way outta hand
Turbo9987 yes to both
Would that facial expression happen to be... "dull surprise"?
Seems weird she's riding her bike around in leather pants.
Chemical Pioneer = the Golden Corral Chef's New Slogan!
9:19 "MICHAEL."
I had to pause the video to laugh XD
Megan Fax isn't even going for "Dull Surprise"! Sheesh!
i would binge watch rat punchers
It's Puma Girl! ... Puma Girl... Puma Girl...
I like these movies but I love me some rifftrax
A character in this movie has never seen a goose. Or most poultry.
So when do they let Vanilla Ice do the soundtrack?????
Wow, that product placement is embarrassing. Showing the box is one thing, but Splinter monologuing about it the cheeses and how great it is....douche-chills.
4:20 Wait, the Bellagio hotel has its own brand of cheese?
and I thought Poochy was extreme!
I actually liked this movie.
But Rifftrax makes it even better.
+Josh The Weirdo Agreed!
Any thoughts about the sequel?!
I liked the sequel a lot.
They definitely listened to the fans by having Bebop and Rocksteady and Krang.
Josh The Weirdo Well, at least they're actually in the movie, so...I'll give it that. Still, I don't this movie and the second movie will ever top the original 1987 animated series, or the 2003 version or the 2012 version, in my opinion. Oh well!!! Here's to the third and final Michael Bay-produced TMNT movie.
How does Will Arnett have a career in acting? Blows my mind.
(8:33-8:40) I would have gone with a Usagi Yojimbo/Miyamoto joke
I don't know this movie, but with a heroine and a villainess, there's almost no way on earth it didn't have a heroine / villainess cat-fight scene toward the end. If so, I hope there were some good riffs about that. (I know those scenes entertain people, but they're such a cliche.)
All the good ones have them, except for the Phantom movie where the villainess suddenly switched sides. Then she and heroine just clung to each other for the rest of the film which was all right, but nowhere as near as hot as a catfight would've been.
Any resources you need just ask.
Personally, I'd ask for them to bury this movie with those E.T Atari games
So any reason why they didnt' cast a Japanese man to play Shredder?
I hope the guys riff Jem and the Holograms.
+Victor Hernandez I think more people needed to have seen it first.
That would be truly truly truly outrageous.
I keep forgetting it exists. Speaking of which they should do GI Joe too.
Swankalicious
So.....I wonder if they're gonna do TMNT 2: Out of the Shadows?!
Wow that second ninja turtle movie was fun
Somehow, despite everything else, it's the teeth that really bother me.
lol this was an actual movie? XD Whats it like to watch it with out the guy's commentary??
watch movies with a friend and crack jokes..to think I had this million dollar idea long time ago...
13:05 PUMAMAN!
Megan Fox is the kind of girl who walks around with her mouth open all the time.
What do these guys have against Golden Corral?
It could be worse...you could be cast in the sequel.
I'd watch Rat Punchers.
The fuck is Whoopi Goldberg doing in that movie?
Nobody knows 😄
Funny thing is....I liked Shredder's design
Jake Bryant
The only thing I liked from that movie!
I miss the old turtles movies at least once a week. Fuck cgi.
PUMA MAN REFERENCE!!!!!!!
7:34 XD
Lol, small favor that this crap never took off like the children of my generation hoped. Dumbest stuff ever. Good job fellas!
man splinter looks awful...
James Adams
Nearly everything looks awful!
Kevin Murphy needs to gargle with Mucinex to clear his throat. You do this for a living Kev !!! I dont want to hear Phil Phlegm
porta potty
Man, talk about butchering TMNT.
Yes! Pumaman!
2:11 - "Special guest Director, JJ Abrahms."
Seriously, f*** that style of lens flare! I'm a film-maker and all I see are videos of ways to add that look into your shots and call it "anamorphic". It's cheesey, overused, and where the hell did it come from in that scene??
PumaMan!
PUMA MAN!!!!!!!!
Just keep Bay away from your franchise fans. Don’t let him do this to other beloved franchises. Baypocolypse should never have spread beyond Transformers. Or the Bayfire, or something with Bay and another terrible thing that indicates the spread of destruction. Random massive explosions, nonsensical action scenes, no real respect for the franchise, one dimensional characters, heavy handed product placement which is least of the issues, giant steroid ridden mutant monsters parodies of the characters, and it has Whoopi Goldberg in it. There will of course be many who like this some who just want to go against the grain, but there are people who enjoy the View and that has Whoopi Goldberg also. At this point just screw it and have Bay take on Star Wars. Can’t get too much worse then The Last Jedi.
Almost as good as nija turtles three