My heart hurts... it makes me so sad to see deaf feeling like a burden. Deaf people are amazing and bring a language and culture that is so special to this world. I wouldn't ever want my mom to change because I love the life I have because of her. I know sign language and have a connection to soo many people I wouldnt otherwise have. I always interpret for my mom and I get to be part of more conversations because of that :) great video guys
It hurts so much when Ryan was saying he is a burden 😭 😢 Ryan don’t feel like a burden so many girls like you outta here 💪 😂 ❤️ You both are amazing people Ellen and Ryan ❤️
I lived in 4 different countries that all speak different languages. And have always been the first one in my family to learn the new language so I had to do a lot of interpreting, I still do. It also feels frustrating and exhausting to interpret in between spoken languages. I could completely understand and relate to Ellen's pain when he was saying he felt like a burden. I remembered my mom feeling that way and me crying every time she told me that. Especially that most of the interpreting was done at doctors' appointments where a lot of new medical terminology would've been used. I miss my mother so much and I wish she's here 😢👐🤟
You mentioned things which many couples would easily turn into a fight but you both communicated calmly and with compassion which was beautiful to watch. I admire you both for that
This was really emotional and you could see how painful it was for her to see that he felt that way abt being a burden. Im glad this video was uploaded.
Conversations like this are the things that will make your relationship last a lifetime. Thank you for sharing this part of your life and this experience.
Hey. Zach and I have the same issues to be honest. Even though I am an interpreter for my career, he still feels like he is a burden. I hate it when he says that as well. I always tell him I never feel that way. i just find it hard navigating all the conversations. Some people are talking to me, my nephews interrupt, another person is trying to talk with Zach at the same time and is asking me to interpret. ETC its a lot. Holidays are very different than our every day life with just him and I. We definitely need to get time together after all the holidays are over :)
Please please please let there be a SignDuo/OurSignedWorld crossover video forthcoming. The four of you educate me, entertain me, and give me all the feels with every video. Thank you so much.
This hits waaaay too close to home. I couldn't even finish the video. The feeling of being a burden and wondering why someone would want to be your partner when they can find someone that's not disabled is something that I relate way too much to. I just wanted to say that I really appreciate that you guys make videos like this. While I'm not deaf, I'm disabled in other ways and I think I really needed to see videos that show healthy ways of coping with the obstacles it presents and communicating to others about it. I've only just recently stumbled upon you guys and I am so thankful that I have.
Ellen, remember that usually on a big job like interpreter for 3 to 5 hours you would definitely have another interpreter with you to tag team when you notice you are fatigued. Interpreting solo for that many hours you will definitely be tired and you will make mistakes. I am sure you did awesome because you interpret with love.
I just burst into to tears when he said you should find a hearing boyfriend. That he felt so bad broke my heart.💔 you are not inferior to anyone because of your deafness. You are very considerate , smart, kind and have chosen to keep improving yourself all your life, which not everyone does hearing or not. Be proud of the person you are i dont even know you ive only watched half your videos and im proud of you both as people.
I feel what Ryan said. I was hard of hearing, I grown up a hearing culture. Now I can't hear anything. My family never use sign language, and people around me also not. I have no choice,just read about lips. It is very tiring, and yes I also feel myself like a burden. It is hard to living like that, but I do my best. I like watching your videos, you can help me develop my english skill and my ASL at the same time. I wish you all of the best! :)
Same. Exactly same. No family member learned ASL for me. i lost my hearing later in life, and I read lips, it was frustrating but you get through. I legit thought I was the only one
If someone in my family lost their hearing (or was hard of hearing) I would immediately start learning sign.... 💖💗💕 I have felt like my needs were not met as a child but this is a different level. I am so very sorry you both have had to endure this. And I am not trying to be... offensive or insensitive to your family members either.... 💖 it's just kind of shocking to hear that you wouldn't have people trying to adapt to communicate with you more..... Anyway I hope that you are both very happy and fulfilled by your loved ones and I admire your strength & courage..... thank you for making me reevaluate what I may take for granted .. 💖💕💗 Big Love for You all Out there !!!!
Ryan is a symbol of true masculinity. A man who is not afraid to open up about his insecurities, and be honest and patient towards his girlfriend. Can totally understand when he says why don't you just get a hearing boyfriend; whenever you come across social situations where you feel like you have a certain quality that makes you inferior, it starts to tamper with your rational view of reality. I had a girlfriend who would often make very old Australian pop culture references that I didn't understand and it made me think (even for just a little while) why doesn't she find someone who's more 'Australian' than me? Truth be told, I subconsciously knew she loved me regardless of that, as I'm sure is the case here, but the question still entered my mind every now and then.
I recently discovered you guys and I cannot stop watching your videos! I have always been super interested in learning sign language but my anxiety has always stopped me. Any who, you two are utterly adorable and it's clear you have such a special relationship 🥰🥰
I near bawled, this was so intimate. Thank you for putting this up. I'm hearing and learning asl because I think it's a little something i could do because i interact with people at work. This was truly lovely.
Years ago and still to today, if I'm in a shop or on the pavement and see people signing, I'm awestruck. I try not to stare, because that can interpreted as a bad thing, but it's just that a wonderful expressive language such as BSL is used is humbling. I'm devoted to watching you two.
You know when you're watching two people have a really intimate moment and you almost feel ashamed for watching? That's exactly how I feel right now. This should have been a private conversation and I feel like guilty for watching in
I work at a company that makes phone calls on behalf of the deaf and hearing impaired community and it's really opened my eyes up to the challenges faced but also the strength of the people we assist. Makes me really want to learn Auslan (Australian sign language)
It made me cry when he said why don’t you just be with a hearing person and I never cry so this really got to me I don’t know why. I just feel people always think there is a better alternative but what you need to understand is that you’re so special and no one is better if there was I would be with them and not you.
I always feel a burden to people and I don’t even have any disabilities... :) I totally get you, Ryan, but I’m also glad how you two can talk about that! This video really made me tears up, since I don’t have anyone like Ellen who loves me the way I am (except for myself), but also because I relate to Ryan’s way of thinking... :c Have a good day everyone who’s reading this!
You both are so perfect for each other and both are so lovable. I have no deaf people in my family but I happily watch your videos because you both are genuinely good people and I'm interested in your story. I guess I do have a parallel in that I'm an English speaker and my wife's family speaks Russian. A lot of the language barriers / interpreting that you guys feel, I felt too. Russian is difficult to learn but I'm progressing day by day. You both are awesome and I wish I had you guys as friends. Keep up the videos!
When you signed burden and I saw that it made me stop breathing for a second. I’m crying so hard. I’m so sorry that this world would ever make people with “disabilities” (uniqueness actually) feel that way. You deserve to be here just as much as anyone else. I worked at a restaurant for a while and people with wheel chairs would come in and I would move chairs for them and open doors etc. And they would always say “I’m sorry” and It made me so sad. I always said “never apologize for something you can’t control. You deserve to be here just as much as people who can walk, etc. Accessibility is a priority for us.”
I think this is so beautiful, especially in this crazy fast-paced world. It's wonderful to witness the deep attention given and care that emanates from both of you; to listen intently and actually understand fully what you communicate to each other. How many hearing couples can experience that kind of closeness on a regular basis? Bravo to you both for doing these videos and sharing your life with us all. Thank you so much!! I have a young adult neighbor who is deaf (and I may be superimposing phantom feelings upon him) but I just sense his isolation and he is such a joy to be around. He just emits kindness and understanding towards others, even without audible sounds.
I love this channel! I’ve never had a TH-cam channel where I want to watch every video. I try my best to watch the ads too, but sometimes I’m so involved in the video I want to skip the ads to continue the vlog. This channel made me want to learn more ASL than the basic level I already knew. Now I spend at least 40 minutes a day teaching myself. I love how this channel teaches about how to be a better citizen to the deaf, that way we aren’t just out here learning the signs but how to respect the culture and community! Thank you both!!
I just recently discovered your channel and have been bingewatching your videos ever since. You two are so sweet together! We can really tell how much you love and care for each other. And I love your videos, they‘re very insightful and eye-opening. I am so glad I found your channel!
If anything, the burden lies on Ellen's family to learn how to sign to include you, brother. I applaud Ellen's parents for trying to include you in the way that you deserve to be included, and I'd think after 8 years that the rest of the fam might take a hint. :D nothing against your family, Ellen. Ellen, you can't interpret for everyone, so you shouldn't feel like a "lesser" interpreter, I just think your family needs to learn how to sign to _really know_ Ryan. I am fascinated by your concision, style and precision when you communicate through signing... (thanks to the subtitles!). You are both great, thanks for making these and sharing your lives.
Generally I agree, but I can understand if the second cousin twice removed that you still want to see at events every now and then doesn't feel motivated enough to learn a whole other language. I think it's just a hard situation with no easy solutions. I personally feel that I would love to learn ASL even with an infrequent connection with a Deaf person, but I happen to be a person who likes learning languages. I know a lot of people who struggle a lot with learning languages and for whom it would be very hard to do that.
@@Tuilelen Yes, but you don't necessarily need to learn ASL. If you can type quickly on a phone, you can do that for instance, I'm sure there are apps where the text pops up on the other person's screen as you write it eg
Agreed! If I was in a long Looong time relationship with a deaf person I would expect my immediate family at least to learn ASL. And knowing them they would in a heart beat. Let’s not forget that most parents teach young babies to sign to help with them form communication and attach visuals to words. ASL is fairly easy for native English speakers. I could understand if Ellen’s family isn’t but still after 8 years they could have been more than fluent if they started to learn two years prior
Thank you for making this video. I'm hoh since age 13 and learning asl. I'm now 52. This video encompasses every holiday for me. People are loud, you tell them you don't hear well, they nod and then forget and do nothing to help. It's a neverending battle and it's discouraging and exhausting. Then they wonder why I don't want to participate and take a nap. I would hate visiting for 4-5 hours and usually end up on the patio by myself for some quiet. Sometimes someone would join me. Sometimes it's just a break. Everyone else is having a good time and while it's not intentional it feels like you aren't invited to the party anymore and totally sucks. You 2 are light-years ahead of my husband and I. Keep talking. Maybe a smaller gathering might be better?! I don't know. Good luck and remember you still have eachother.
This is SOOO POWERFUL!!! Thank you so much for sharing what was probably difficult to share so publicly. You are changing the world with your videos, one person at a time. This is one of my favorites of all of your videos since finding your channel a few weeks ago.
I'm glad to see this 3 part series...really about communication because that is something we all need to work on and that is being in tune with ourselves, our thoughts, our feelings so we can communicate better as mature adults. Great job guys!
This video in particular was very emotional for me. It’s amazing how mature both you are. Ryan, you seem to be more in tune and observant with people’s emotions at young age. And this makes you far more superior. Thanks for sharing guys :)
I am really enjoying this series so far. As a headung person, it helps me get a better understanding of how deaf people feel. It's really sad that Ryan feels that way, but you guys are amazing! I also feel like Ryan's personality really comes out in this video and some of the things he was saying brought a smile to my face, so thank you!!
This video hit home with me. In our 40 year marriage, my wife being deaf, she often said the same thing Ryan says that she felt like a burden. This could not be farther from the truth. When we married I promised to God and all the people in attendance that I would honor you, in good times and in bad. When I said those words I ment them from the depths of my being. Yes, being married to a deaf person is unique. Truly, some days are hard, but most days are filled with love, laughter and joy. I chose to dwell on the later. God bless you guys.
Apologies in advance because this comment does not relate to being in a deaf and hearing relationship. But finding these videos this week has been unbelievably calming and helpful on so many levels. I'm dyslexic and have high social anxious, this topic of being at a family gathering sparks alot of thoughts I have about myself. Thoughts of doubt, being unable to understand or follow any conversation that I am having and being a burden on my family. I often think my family and friends are just being nice humans to be in the same environment as me but I must be a burden on them. I can't follow Conversations and get confused easily. It's beautiful to see a couple discussing difficult situations like this. Being yourself is good enough, big groups are complex situations and no one should ever feel inferior to others because we are all unique and powerful. Thank you for reminding me that my family and friends love me for who I am.
That also brought tears to my eyes. You don't have to feel like a burden, Ryan. I fell sign language should be taught in every school and be used more by hearing people. I feel like we (hearing) are privileged to hear (because of not having to use the eyes so much) and that we should be conscious about it and make an effort to learn to communicate with deaf people, especially if you have live around deaf people. I love ASL and started learning it years ago because I love languages, but also love to know people and think it's something everyone should learn. Awesome video, you two!
There's this Filipino film I watched called, "Isa pa with feelings" that shows the love story of a hearing girl and her deaf neighbor. I recommend it to you guys because a lot of what Ryan feels is what the guy felt in the movie. I never thought about these things until I saw the movie and watched the season of America's Next top model with Niles as a contestant.
I know what you mean about feeling like a burden. I have chronic illness & I don't have enough energy to cook or clean. When I try, it makes me feel sick and exhausted. It's hard to lose your independence and have to ask for help with everything. I'm very grateful for my family & all the help they give me! I know they don't mind doing it, because they love me, but I also know that it's an extra burden for them. A good thing to remember is that you can be frustrated with a situation - without it being anyone's fault. You can acknowledge that something is hard without having negative feelings toward the people involved.
As someone who has been with the same person for 30 years, I can tell you from experience that open communication is essential for a healthy, successful relationship. You're both doing very well!! All the best to you BOTH!! ❤❤
the communication in this relationship is so good i feel like communication is the top priority in a relationship and discussing how you feel between each-other alot of relationships lack that, you guys are just so compatible i love it this is a great example of what a relationship should be ♡
Oh wow I teared up when you mentioned the second thing too, you can tell this means a lot to both of you. Thanks so much for opening my eyes to what it may be like for people hard of hearing during the holidays or in the hearing community
I'm not deaf or hard of hearing but I have a different disability. I really do understand that feeling of inferiority. I also love what Ellen said about being deaf being a part of what makes you who you are. I very much agree with that as far as my own disability. It doesn't define me but it is a huge part of me. I just found your channel less than an hour ago. This is the third video I've watched. Really enjoying your content
I know this is a slightly older video but thank you guys for sharing your vulnerabilities on the internet. You are a beautiful couple and it's amazing to see these honest conversations.
To me this was your guys' realest video yet. (I haven't watched them all yet though I'm working on it 🤣) I can understand why you both felt the way you did, and also I'd like to thank you Ryan for explaining why it can be so taxing being in a busy hearing environment. I'd never considered that. For me as an introvert I feel the same way- that's its incredibly exhausting because I get sensory overload- but for you it's because you have to rely heavily on being hyper aware. That must be SUPER exhausting. Thanks for your guys' contribution in making us more aware. I haven't come across a deaf or hard of hearing person personally in my area, but thanks to your videos I'd like to think I'd just be a lot more considerate when I do. Much love you guys.
You both communicate better with your eyes, hearts and hands than 90% of the hearing people around. Watch couples in restaurants and other places...they can see, hear and talk and yet they are not communicating.
I have a progressive hearing loss, I just want to say thank you for always being so real about your problems. My boyfriend is hearing and he is super supportive, but there is always self-doubt. It is nice to know that I am not alone.
This video is so sweet, vulnerable, and informative! Thank you both for sharing your story (as always), but especially such an intimate conversation. I’ve been a sorta new subscriber so I I’m just getting to these older videos. Love them! It really makes me want to try and learn ASL.
My boyfriend is Ukranian and I'm Spanish and I family events I feel so sad cause I cannot understand their language but it doesn't mean my boyfriend its gonna change me for someone else or the other way around just because we have language barrier with our respective families, Ryan has a different language, thats it!
Same. My ex husband is Persian and I couldn’t understand anything his family and the guests were saying at the family gatherings. My ex wouldn’t even try to interpret for me. Ellen clearly loves and cares about Ryan 🥰🥰🥰
I love y’all so much. I first started watching your videos for a asl class in high school but you’ve really helped me much better understand the deaf community. You both honestly seem to be really good people😊
Welcome! I’m deaf too and you’re absolutely right, I feel the same way. There was a beautiful one we were eyeing, but unfortunately after my initiative he left me, couldn’t accept it, or was just scared. Years have passed since then, nothing has changed. But I won't give up, I'm looking for someone who can accept it.
This, your channel, y’alls post on the drive thru experience .... has brought this conviction over me. The importance of learning sign language, even the simplest words, can make a difference.❤️
This is such a raw and honest conversation. Thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing. You two both seem so sweet. If you love someone, they won't ever be too much. Never a burden. ❤
this was nice to watch and interesting to keep in mind that what he has an insecurities although they can be hurtful to him (i.e. feeling like "a burden" or "why don't you go get a hearing boyfriend?") that can genuinely hurt her feelings!! because she seems to really care about him... it's just weird how insecurities and stuff work like that cuz you can't really help ur insecurities and everyone has them and sometimes you can feel really alone in them and it's always good to keep in mind that your insecurites may actually translate to hurt in other people. idk it's just crazy how interpersonal dynamics can work like that. it's a good and bad thing at the same time cuz the other person being hurt shows you they actually do care and love you, but its just a reminder that some people can care about you SO much that what hurts you can hurt them as well
Well, that got me right in the feels!!!! That’s something I never even thought about as a hearing person. I can understand why he feels that way but it’s blatantly clear that she does NOT agree with him. I just love you guys.
I get you Ryan. Even though I am hearing and have no physical problems in that area, I do really feel the same sometimes. Like being a burden or even “get yourself a friend that has your qualities”. Even though I’ve learned to love myself and all that, but somehow it’s still inside me, being afraid of being a burden to everyone.
Its awesome what making this brave video bought to you as a couple,- and to us to learn about ! Thank you so much! ... btw.. your fam needs to see it and learn more asl to take the pressure of you both, maybe? Kudos to mum ! xxxbea
Love it! Your communication skills are awesome. And I'm not talking about sign language, I'm talking about expressing your feelings to each other in a respectful and mature kind of way.
I may have my bad experiences in life, but I only thought her kid souls actually exist in movies.. taking the time out to sign for him is incredibly amazing !
I'm an audiology student from India. Bring from a country where there is more than 20 languages, I've always wondered why sign language wasn't an option in school cause we learn minimum 2-3 languages including English. Hence, I''ve always wanted to learn sign language and be immersed in deaf community. I found your channel yesterday and I haven't stopped binging. I definitely will work towards bringing more awareness about deaf community and integration. I believe there's so much the hearing need to learn from the dead community.
You're both inspiring in how people get over the hard stuff and differences in a relationship - it's always rough/frustrating, but the important thing is to keep communicating and going through it together. Sometimes it's hard to realize that someone actually feels positively about the journey and each other when they are tired. So it's good to get rested and spend time together when you can address the hard stuff but also share your love and affection when both feel refreshed. Thank you so much for sharing your journey!!!
This made me tear up a little. You two are such a wonderful couple and I love that you keep learning and working out problems. You guys inspire me with every video!!! Keep it up 💟💟
I'm so glad I found your guys channel...my son was born deaf I'm hearing and so is his dad and his sister..but we would not change our son for nothing he just turned 19 in October...
Hi! I just found your channel, and I must say I really love it! I enjoy taking part in your discussions about relationships and how you think about different questions. I am hearing and so is my husband, so I’m learning a lot about deaf culture, thank you for that! In one way I can relate to your experience about family gatherings and communicating; we live in Finland and my husband is bilingual and for many years I struggled speaking in his second mother tongue to his mother, and I still struggle. I can be totally exhausted after a few hours due to the amount of work my head does, also emotionally due to feeling incapable of expressing yourself completely. We often talk about that after the party just to reflect on what we can do better next time. I think you are doing great! Especially when you share your thoughts to educate others! Wish you the best! And greetings from Finland!
I can totally understand where R about "feeling like burden at family gatherings", within my own immediate I know some of us have never got that full support, and it makes it so much harder because constantly being told that you are a burden to them, or your disability has led to you wondering well others feeling the same...yet on the flip side being constantly fed negativity day in and day out, can make one want to prove not just to that person but also to yourself that your not how they view you, you rise above that.
Dear heavens. It’s only the beginning of the video and I’m already tearing up because Ryan feels like a burden 😭 Most of my relationships have been with other races. It was a bit of a challenge introducing or bringing my then-boyfriends home because my family speaks another language. Both parties try to communicate, but when I need to interpret I never felt like it was trouble. It actually made me feel good because I thought with my help, there’s less hindrance in them getting to know each other. I prefer that rather than them not talk to each other just because of language barrier.
It hurts so much when Ryan was saying he is a burden 😭 😢 Ryan don’t feel like a burden so many girls like you outta here 💪 😂 ❤️ You both are amazing people Ellen and Ryan ❤️
I laughed too hard at Ryan saying he would be a football jock if he wasn’t deaf😂😂😂
My heart hurts... it makes me so sad to see deaf feeling like a burden. Deaf people are amazing and bring a language and culture that is so special to this world. I wouldn't ever want my mom to change because I love the life I have because of her. I know sign language and have a connection to soo many people I wouldnt otherwise have. I always interpret for my mom and I get to be part of more conversations because of that :) great video guys
SignedBeauty awe you're relationship with your mom sounds beautiful. I feel the same way 🤟💕
SignedBeauty if this isn’t the most beautiful comment :( idk what is.. god bless❤️
@ici the hell
It hurts so much when Ryan was saying he is a burden 😭 😢 Ryan don’t feel like a burden so many girls like you outta here 💪 😂 ❤️
You both are amazing people Ellen and Ryan ❤️
I lived in 4 different countries that all speak different languages. And have always been the first one in my family to learn the new language so I had to do a lot of interpreting, I still do. It also feels frustrating and exhausting to interpret in between spoken languages. I could completely understand and relate to Ellen's pain when he was saying he felt like a burden. I remembered my mom feeling that way and me crying every time she told me that. Especially that most of the interpreting was done at doctors' appointments where a lot of new medical terminology would've been used. I miss my mother so much and I wish she's here 😢👐🤟
Not only was that informative, but it showed us how much you love each other. Loved it!
I agree that this video was very informative and I just love you guys that much more.
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You mentioned things which many couples would easily turn into a fight but you both communicated calmly and with compassion which was beautiful to watch. I admire you both for that
Fran S thank you for that! It took us a long while and a lot of work to be able to communicate how we feel like that ☺️🤟💕
8:55
Look at her hurting because she cares so much for him. I hope everyone gets an Ellen in their lives.
"I want to do better for you" yep I'm totally not crying
This made me tear up a little. You both clearly love each other it's beautiful.
Yeeaa😭😭😭
This was really emotional and you could see how painful it was for her to see that he felt that way abt being a burden. Im glad this video was uploaded.
Damn. These two people love each other
Conversations like this are the things that will make your relationship last a lifetime. Thank you for sharing this part of your life and this experience.
“I would be a football jock...woo!” 😂😂😂
Ryan say “Oh I’m bothering her or I’m not.. you know or she doesn’t want to do this for me”
Ellen (no no no no no no)
Perry Hunwick 😆 no no no
Hey. Zach and I have the same issues to be honest. Even though I am an interpreter for my career, he still feels like he is a burden. I hate it when he says that as well. I always tell him I never feel that way. i just find it hard navigating all the conversations. Some people are talking to me, my nephews interrupt, another person is trying to talk with Zach at the same time and is asking me to interpret. ETC its a lot. Holidays are very different than our every day life with just him and I. We definitely need to get time together after all the holidays are over :)
OurSignedWorld we definitely do need to get togther after the holidays -ryan
Please please please let there be a SignDuo/OurSignedWorld crossover video forthcoming. The four of you educate me, entertain me, and give me all the feels with every video. Thank you so much.
Hahah you are so funny :)
We will contact you after our vacation :)
GLRequiemEternam YES!!!! Oh my gosh DEFINITELY 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
This hits waaaay too close to home. I couldn't even finish the video. The feeling of being a burden and wondering why someone would want to be your partner when they can find someone that's not disabled is something that I relate way too much to. I just wanted to say that I really appreciate that you guys make videos like this. While I'm not deaf, I'm disabled in other ways and I think I really needed to see videos that show healthy ways of coping with the obstacles it presents and communicating to others about it. I've only just recently stumbled upon you guys and I am so thankful that I have.
Ellen, remember that usually on a big job like interpreter for 3 to 5 hours you would definitely have another interpreter with you to tag team when you notice you are fatigued. Interpreting solo for that many hours you will definitely be tired and you will make mistakes. I am sure you did awesome because you interpret with love.
I just burst into to tears when he said you should find a hearing boyfriend. That he felt so bad broke my heart.💔 you are not inferior to anyone because of your deafness. You are very considerate , smart, kind and have chosen to keep improving yourself all your life, which not everyone does hearing or not. Be proud of the person you are i dont even know you ive only watched half your videos and im proud of you both as people.
I feel what Ryan said. I was hard of hearing, I grown up a hearing culture. Now I can't hear anything. My family never use sign language, and people around me also not. I have no choice,just read about lips. It is very tiring, and yes I also feel myself like a burden. It is hard to living like that, but I do my best. I like watching your videos, you can help me develop my english skill and my ASL at the same time. I wish you all of the best! :)
Same. Exactly same. No family member learned ASL for me. i lost my hearing later in life, and I read lips, it was frustrating but you get through. I legit thought I was the only one
@@bakhtawarb9794 You are not alone. Be strong and do your best! You can do it! :)
If someone in my family lost their hearing (or was hard of hearing) I would immediately start learning sign.... 💖💗💕 I have felt like my needs were not met as a child but this is a different level. I am so very sorry you both have had to endure this. And I am not trying to be... offensive or insensitive to your family members either.... 💖 it's just kind of shocking to hear that you wouldn't have people trying to adapt to communicate with you more..... Anyway I hope that you are both very happy and fulfilled by your loved ones and I admire your strength & courage..... thank you for making me reevaluate what I may take for granted
.. 💖💕💗 Big Love for You all Out there !!!!
Ryan is a symbol of true masculinity. A man who is not afraid to open up about his insecurities, and be honest and patient towards his girlfriend. Can totally understand when he says why don't you just get a hearing boyfriend; whenever you come across social situations where you feel like you have a certain quality that makes you inferior, it starts to tamper with your rational view of reality. I had a girlfriend who would often make very old Australian pop culture references that I didn't understand and it made me think (even for just a little while) why doesn't she find someone who's more 'Australian' than me? Truth be told, I subconsciously knew she loved me regardless of that, as I'm sure is the case here, but the question still entered my mind every now and then.
I recently discovered you guys and I cannot stop watching your videos! I have always been super interested in learning sign language but my anxiety has always stopped me. Any who, you two are utterly adorable and it's clear you have such a special relationship 🥰🥰
I near bawled, this was so intimate. Thank you for putting this up. I'm hearing and learning asl because I think it's a little something i could do because i interact with people at work. This was truly lovely.
I totally feel this. It was full of emotions. I have been here before and have had this conversation with my husband while we were dating.
Years ago and still to today, if I'm in a shop or on the pavement and see people signing, I'm awestruck. I try not to stare, because that can interpreted as a bad thing, but it's just that a wonderful expressive language such as BSL is used is humbling. I'm devoted to watching you two.
You know when you're watching two people have a really intimate moment and you almost feel ashamed for watching? That's exactly how I feel right now. This should have been a private conversation and I feel like guilty for watching in
I love how you could tell the tone you were using when you said "mature adults now"
I understand Ryan... I feel him because I’m deaf and my hearing boyfriend for 9 years. He still trying his best sign like Ellen.
I work at a company that makes phone calls on behalf of the deaf and hearing impaired community and it's really opened my eyes up to the challenges faced but also the strength of the people we assist. Makes me really want to learn Auslan (Australian sign language)
This was such a great conversation. So vulnerable and honest. Thank you, Ellen and Ryan. You two are such a great couple.
It's so sweet to see a couple who love each other so much. Very heartwarming. Thanks for these videos.
It made me cry when he said why don’t you just be with a hearing person and I never cry so this really got to me I don’t know why. I just feel people always think there is a better alternative but what you need to understand is that you’re so special and no one is better if there was I would be with them and not you.
Y’all are just everything! Love the communication, the maturity and the love between you two! My positive energy and thoughts go to you!
me: starting to tear up a little
youtube: oop, wait a sec - here's an ad about labelling your vulva first :)
I always feel a burden to people and I don’t even have any disabilities... :)
I totally get you, Ryan, but I’m also glad how you two can talk about that! This video really made me tears up, since I don’t have anyone like Ellen who loves me the way I am (except for myself), but also because I relate to Ryan’s way of thinking... :c
Have a good day everyone who’s reading this!
Hey! Just to let you know, you are NEVER a burden. God bless you🥰
You both are so perfect for each other and both are so lovable. I have no deaf people in my family but I happily watch your videos because you both are genuinely good people and I'm interested in your story. I guess I do have a parallel in that I'm an English speaker and my wife's family speaks Russian. A lot of the language barriers / interpreting that you guys feel, I felt too. Russian is difficult to learn but I'm progressing day by day. You both are awesome and I wish I had you guys as friends. Keep up the videos!
5:41 aw the way you guys communicate I think is so sweet. Both your personality’s come thru so much. ❤️
When you signed burden and I saw that it made me stop breathing for a second. I’m crying so hard. I’m so sorry that this world would ever make people with “disabilities” (uniqueness actually) feel that way. You deserve to be here just as much as anyone else. I worked at a restaurant for a while and people with wheel chairs would come in and I would move chairs for them and open doors etc. And they would always say “I’m sorry” and It made me so sad. I always said “never apologize for something you can’t control. You deserve to be here just as much as people who can walk, etc. Accessibility is a priority for us.”
I think this is so beautiful, especially in this crazy fast-paced world. It's wonderful to witness the deep attention given and care that emanates from both of you; to listen intently and actually understand fully what you communicate to each other. How many hearing couples can experience that kind of closeness on a regular basis? Bravo to you both for doing these videos and sharing your life with us all. Thank you so much!! I have a young adult neighbor who is deaf (and I may be superimposing phantom feelings upon him) but I just sense his isolation and he is such a joy to be around. He just emits kindness and understanding towards others, even without audible sounds.
I teared up when Ellen teared up, this was such an informative video and really gave a different perspective. Love you guys
I love this channel! I’ve never had a TH-cam channel where I want to watch every video. I try my best to watch the ads too, but sometimes I’m so involved in the video I want to skip the ads to continue the vlog. This channel made me want to learn more ASL than the basic level I already knew. Now I spend at least 40 minutes a day teaching myself. I love how this channel teaches about how to be a better citizen to the deaf, that way we aren’t just out here learning the signs but how to respect the culture and community! Thank you both!!
Dang, i’m tearing up. Love you guys
I just recently discovered your channel and have been bingewatching your videos ever since. You two are so sweet together! We can really tell how much you love and care for each other. And I love your videos, they‘re very insightful and eye-opening. I am so glad I found your channel!
If anything, the burden lies on Ellen's family to learn how to sign to include you, brother. I applaud Ellen's parents for trying to include you in the way that you deserve to be included, and I'd think after 8 years that the rest of the fam might take a hint. :D nothing against your family, Ellen. Ellen, you can't interpret for everyone, so you shouldn't feel like a "lesser" interpreter, I just think your family needs to learn how to sign to _really know_ Ryan.
I am fascinated by your concision, style and precision when you communicate through signing... (thanks to the subtitles!).
You are both great, thanks for making these and sharing your lives.
Generally I agree, but I can understand if the second cousin twice removed that you still want to see at events every now and then doesn't feel motivated enough to learn a whole other language. I think it's just a hard situation with no easy solutions. I personally feel that I would love to learn ASL even with an infrequent connection with a Deaf person, but I happen to be a person who likes learning languages. I know a lot of people who struggle a lot with learning languages and for whom it would be very hard to do that.
@@Tuilelen Yes, but you don't necessarily need to learn ASL. If you can type quickly on a phone, you can do that for instance, I'm sure there are apps where the text pops up on the other person's screen as you write it eg
Agreed! If I was in a long Looong time relationship with a deaf person I would expect my immediate family at least to learn ASL. And knowing them they would in a heart beat. Let’s not forget that most parents teach young babies to sign to help with them form communication and attach visuals to words. ASL is fairly easy for native English speakers. I could understand if Ellen’s family isn’t but still after 8 years they could have been more than fluent if they started to learn two years prior
Thank you for making this video. I'm hoh since age 13 and learning asl. I'm now 52. This video encompasses every holiday for me. People are loud, you tell them you don't hear well, they nod and then forget and do nothing to help. It's a neverending battle and it's discouraging and exhausting. Then they wonder why I don't want to participate and take a nap. I would hate visiting for 4-5 hours and usually end up on the patio by myself for some quiet. Sometimes someone would join me. Sometimes it's just a break. Everyone else is having a good time and while it's not intentional it feels like you aren't invited to the party anymore and totally sucks. You 2 are light-years ahead of my husband and I. Keep talking. Maybe a smaller gathering might be better?! I don't know. Good luck and remember you still have eachother.
This is SOOO POWERFUL!!! Thank you so much for sharing what was probably difficult to share so publicly. You are changing the world with your videos, one person at a time. This is one of my favorites of all of your videos since finding your channel a few weeks ago.
I'm glad to see this 3 part series...really about communication because that is something we all need to work on and that is being in tune with ourselves, our thoughts, our feelings so we can communicate better as mature adults. Great job guys!
Ugh I want part 3 nooooow
Rachael W. Coming soon!!!
@@SignDuoChannel when ? I'm wait next part 3 on come !
Roxle Tarnie today! :)
This video in particular was very emotional for me. It’s amazing how mature both you are. Ryan, you seem to be more in tune and observant with people’s emotions at young age. And this makes you far more superior. Thanks for sharing guys :)
I am really enjoying this series so far. As a headung person, it helps me get a better understanding of how deaf people feel. It's really sad that Ryan feels that way, but you guys are amazing! I also feel like Ryan's personality really comes out in this video and some of the things he was saying brought a smile to my face, so thank you!!
Grace Friend awe yeah he is really that way in person. So thoughtful and considerate. I'm happy you're enjoying these videos! ☺️🤟💕
I love the sounds of ryan when he signs lOl its calming for some reason 💕
HHAHA I SAY THE SAME THING TO COURTNEY! I tell he its much easier for me to date her and joke about the phone calls hahahaha
OurSignedWorld lol I guess we're just personal interpreter 😉
hahahaha so funny! lol
This video hit home with me. In our 40 year marriage, my wife being deaf, she often said the same thing Ryan says that she felt like a burden. This could not be farther from the truth. When we married I promised to God and all the people in attendance that I would honor you, in good times and in bad. When I said those words I ment them from the depths of my being. Yes, being married to a deaf person is unique. Truly, some days are hard, but most days are filled with love, laughter and joy. I chose to dwell on the later. God bless you guys.
God bless you Jack. Your comment means so much to me. Thank you for sharing your story.
Apologies in advance because this comment does not relate to being in a deaf and hearing relationship.
But finding these videos this week has been unbelievably calming and helpful on so many levels. I'm dyslexic and have high social anxious, this topic of being at a family gathering sparks alot of thoughts I have about myself. Thoughts of doubt, being unable to understand or follow any conversation that I am having and being a burden on my family. I often think my family and friends are just being nice humans to be in the same environment as me but I must be a burden on them. I can't follow Conversations and get confused easily.
It's beautiful to see a couple discussing difficult situations like this. Being yourself is good enough, big groups are complex situations and no one should ever feel inferior to others because we are all unique and powerful. Thank you for reminding me that my family and friends love me for who I am.
Visit her family twice as often then! The pressure increases when the time is so precious.
That also brought tears to my eyes. You don't have to feel like a burden, Ryan. I fell sign language should be taught in every school and be used more by hearing people. I feel like we (hearing) are privileged to hear (because of not having to use the eyes so much) and that we should be conscious about it and make an effort to learn to communicate with deaf people, especially if you have live around deaf people. I love ASL and started learning it years ago because I love languages, but also love to know people and think it's something everyone should learn. Awesome video, you two!
There's this Filipino film I watched called, "Isa pa with feelings" that shows the love story of a hearing girl and her deaf neighbor. I recommend it to you guys because a lot of what Ryan feels is what the guy felt in the movie. I never thought about these things until I saw the movie and watched the season of America's Next top model with Niles as a contestant.
You guys are very heart warming.. there needs to be more people like you guys..
You enrich people, Ryan. I learn so much from you. She's so lucky to have you.
I know what you mean about feeling like a burden. I have chronic illness & I don't have enough energy to cook or clean. When I try, it makes me feel sick and exhausted. It's hard to lose your independence and have to ask for help with everything. I'm very grateful for my family & all the help they give me! I know they don't mind doing it, because they love me, but I also know that it's an extra burden for them.
A good thing to remember is that you can be frustrated with a situation - without it being anyone's fault. You can acknowledge that something is hard without having negative feelings toward the people involved.
As someone who has been with the same person for 30 years, I can tell you from experience that open communication is essential for a healthy, successful relationship. You're both doing very well!! All the best to you BOTH!! ❤❤
You can tell that it genuinely does not matter to you that he speaks with his heart, through his hands
the communication in this relationship is so good i feel like communication is the top priority in a relationship and discussing how you feel between each-other alot of relationships lack that, you guys are just so compatible i love it this is a great example of what a relationship should be ♡
i just love the way y'all communicate
Oh wow I teared up when you mentioned the second thing too, you can tell this means a lot to both of you. Thanks so much for opening my eyes to what it may be like for people hard of hearing during the holidays or in the hearing community
I'm not deaf or hard of hearing but I have a different disability. I really do understand that feeling of inferiority. I also love what Ellen said about being deaf being a part of what makes you who you are. I very much agree with that as far as my own disability. It doesn't define me but it is a huge part of me. I just found your channel less than an hour ago. This is the third video I've watched. Really enjoying your content
I know this is a slightly older video but thank you guys for sharing your vulnerabilities on the internet. You are a beautiful couple and it's amazing to see these honest conversations.
To me this was your guys' realest video yet. (I haven't watched them all yet though I'm working on it 🤣) I can understand why you both felt the way you did, and also I'd like to thank you Ryan for explaining why it can be so taxing being in a busy hearing environment. I'd never considered that. For me as an introvert I feel the same way- that's its incredibly exhausting because I get sensory overload- but for you it's because you have to rely heavily on being hyper aware. That must be SUPER exhausting. Thanks for your guys' contribution in making us more aware. I haven't come across a deaf or hard of hearing person personally in my area, but thanks to your videos I'd like to think I'd just be a lot more considerate when I do. Much love you guys.
You both communicate better with your eyes, hearts and hands than 90% of the hearing people around. Watch couples in restaurants and other places...they can see, hear and talk and yet they are not communicating.
I have a progressive hearing loss, I just want to say thank you for always being so real about your problems. My boyfriend is hearing and he is super supportive, but there is always self-doubt. It is nice to know that I am not alone.
This video is so sweet, vulnerable, and informative! Thank you both for sharing your story (as always), but especially such an intimate conversation. I’ve been a sorta new subscriber so I I’m just getting to these older videos. Love them! It really makes me want to try and learn ASL.
I love your rawness to open up about these things! To bring us on the journey with you guys.
I know Deaf people who feel the same but you and they are NOT inferior. You are amazing! She knows it and I know it. Thank you for this video.
My boyfriend is Ukranian and I'm Spanish and I family events I feel so sad cause I cannot understand their language but it doesn't mean my boyfriend its gonna change me for someone else or the other way around just because we have language barrier with our respective families, Ryan has a different language, thats it!
Same. My ex husband is Persian and I couldn’t understand anything his family and the guests were saying at the family gatherings. My ex wouldn’t even try to interpret for me. Ellen clearly loves and cares about Ryan 🥰🥰🥰
I love y’all so much. I first started watching your videos for a asl class in high school but you’ve really helped me much better understand the deaf community. You both honestly seem to be really good people😊
You two are perfect for each other ❤️ Thanks for sharing your lives with us.
That touched my heart and opened my eyes. ❤ As a hearing person, I didn't realize how complex emotions can be.
Welcome! I’m deaf too and you’re absolutely right, I feel the same way.
There was a beautiful one we were eyeing, but unfortunately after my initiative he left me, couldn’t accept it, or was just scared.
Years have passed since then, nothing has changed.
But I won't give up, I'm looking for someone who can accept it.
This, your channel, y’alls post on the drive thru experience .... has brought this conviction over me. The importance of learning sign language, even the simplest words, can make a difference.❤️
mature adults - you are! Good for you both to air out your feelings and validate them for each other. Love you guys!
You guys are awesome! I wish you both to be blessed with many more years of love and happiness.
Wow, eye opening. Thank you for sharing this vid 😔
These videos are SO SWEET!! I love your communication and honesty. Rooting for you so much. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
This is such a raw and honest conversation. Thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing. You two both seem so sweet. If you love someone, they won't ever be too much. Never a burden. ❤
this was nice to watch and interesting to keep in mind that what he has an insecurities although they can be hurtful to him (i.e. feeling like "a burden" or "why don't you go get a hearing boyfriend?") that can genuinely hurt her feelings!! because she seems to really care about him... it's just weird how insecurities and stuff work like that cuz you can't really help ur insecurities and everyone has them and sometimes you can feel really alone in them and it's always good to keep in mind that your insecurites may actually translate to hurt in other people. idk it's just crazy how interpersonal dynamics can work like that. it's a good and bad thing at the same time cuz the other person being hurt shows you they actually do care and love you, but its just a reminder that some people can care about you SO much that what hurts you can hurt them as well
Well, that got me right in the feels!!!! That’s something I never even thought about as a hearing person.
I can understand why he feels that way but it’s blatantly clear that she does NOT agree with him. I just love you guys.
I get you Ryan. Even though I am hearing and have no physical problems in that area, I do really feel the same sometimes. Like being a burden or even “get yourself a friend that has your qualities”. Even though I’ve learned to love myself and all that, but somehow it’s still inside me, being afraid of being a burden to everyone.
Its awesome what making this brave video bought to you as a couple,- and to us to learn about ! Thank you so much! ... btw.. your fam needs to see it and learn more asl to take the pressure of you both, maybe? Kudos to mum ! xxxbea
Love it! Your communication skills are awesome. And I'm not talking about sign language, I'm talking about expressing your feelings to each other in a respectful and mature kind of way.
I may have my bad experiences in life, but I only thought her kid souls actually exist in movies.. taking the time out to sign for him is incredibly amazing !
just discover you guys' channel last night and immediately completely obsessed
I'm an audiology student from India. Bring from a country where there is more than 20 languages, I've always wondered why sign language wasn't an option in school cause we learn minimum 2-3 languages including English. Hence, I''ve always wanted to learn sign language and be immersed in deaf community. I found your channel yesterday and I haven't stopped binging. I definitely will work towards bringing more awareness about deaf community and integration. I believe there's so much the hearing need to learn from the dead community.
You're both inspiring in how people get over the hard stuff and differences in a relationship - it's always rough/frustrating, but the important thing is to keep communicating and going through it together. Sometimes it's hard to realize that someone actually feels positively about the journey and each other when they are tired. So it's good to get rested and spend time together when you can address the hard stuff but also share your love and affection when both feel refreshed. Thank you so much for sharing your journey!!!
This made me tear up a little. You two are such a wonderful couple and I love that you keep learning and working out problems. You guys inspire me with every video!!! Keep it up 💟💟
You 2 are meant to be together
Love this video. It is so real and true.
Thanks Justin! Hope all is well with you! -ryan
I'm so glad I found your guys channel...my son was born deaf I'm hearing and so is his dad and his sister..but we would not change our son for nothing he just turned 19 in October...
I don't know you but she loves you. I wish I could learn to sign. It is a really beautiful language. Maybe now that I have time I will try to learn.
What a meaningful conversation. Wow. Thank you for sharing. 💜
Hi! I just found your channel, and I must say I really love it! I enjoy taking part in your discussions about relationships and how you think about different questions. I am hearing and so is my husband, so I’m learning a lot about deaf culture, thank you for that! In one way I can relate to your experience about family gatherings and communicating; we live in Finland and my husband is bilingual and for many years I struggled speaking in his second mother tongue to his mother, and I still struggle. I can be totally exhausted after a few hours due to the amount of work my head does, also emotionally due to feeling incapable of expressing yourself completely. We often talk about that after the party just to reflect on what we can do better next time.
I think you are doing great! Especially when you share your thoughts to educate others! Wish you the best! And greetings from Finland!
I can totally understand where R about "feeling like burden at family gatherings", within my own immediate I know some of us have never got that full support, and it makes it so much harder because constantly being told that you are a burden to them, or your disability has led to you wondering well others feeling the same...yet on the flip side being constantly fed negativity day in and day out, can make one want to prove not just to that person but also to yourself that your not how they view you, you rise above that.
Dear heavens. It’s only the beginning of the video and I’m already tearing up because Ryan feels like a burden 😭
Most of my relationships have been with other races. It was a bit of a challenge introducing or bringing my then-boyfriends home because my family speaks another language. Both parties try to communicate, but when I need to interpret I never felt like it was trouble. It actually made me feel good because I thought with my help, there’s less hindrance in them getting to know each other. I prefer that rather than them not talk to each other just because of language barrier.
It hurts so much when Ryan was saying he is a burden 😭 😢 Ryan don’t feel like a burden so many girls like you outta here 💪 😂 ❤️
You both are amazing people Ellen and Ryan ❤️