I'm really enjoying these videos. Its amazing how much difference good writing makes. Once revised, I could actually visualise the scene as it was being read out and it seemed a lot more interesting. Thanks for posting these. Look forward to more of your writing tips.
I know its been awhile since this video was made, great job by the way; it was clear and concise. However, I have a question about screenwriting, should I just write out my story and then edit all the plain sentences at the end? Thank you for making this it has helped out a lot!
I second Connor's answer: just get the 1st draft done. Also, if you save the wordsmithing for the next draft, it's fun and you'll have a natural motivation to do a 2nd draft which, more often than not, results in an even better story because you'll probably find ways to improve your story during a subsequent draft.
I understand "ing" verbs were not to be used, making "Squeezing off three rounds..." incorrect. Wouldn't it be, "He squeezes off three rounds and hits the Gunman with two of them."? The last sentence is strange because it appears as if the Driver is possibly flooring his buddy because it's a continuous action of grabbing and flooring, rather than "stomps on the gas." I'm no professional, but I'm working hard to get there. All in all, this advice was pretty good. Thanks!
"squeezing off" flows better here then squeezes. Its OK if using other tenses sound better. All formats are guidelines. Feel free to break the rules once you know the rule. Your story and flow are two main essences in your screenplay.
@johnaugust In your blog you say action is the least rewarding for a writer. Personally, I love writing action, probably because I am such a visual person. It's dialogue that I tend to find grueling to work with (and of course, story structure). I'm also kind of weird in that I enjoy the revision process more than banging out a first draft. The first draft is always the most difficult for me, while subsequent revisions are smooth sailin'.
As a freshman screenwriter I need this. Great story, but I don’t know how to write a script. Can’t wait to do my second draft. This will help. Thank you.
Shouldn't be there a hint about Driver's and Gunman's position in the scene? Are they sitting in the car? Character name DRIVER makes it all clear? I tend to overwrite those scenes sometimes, but is the further description really necessary?
Very concise directive more please my lineal film goes through many generations so learning to describe certain aspects of a scene that make it visualy accepted by the audience without leaving themain directive or theme .thank you john
I would have to agree with you on that. The first words are the hardest for me to grab and put on paper. Also, action is easier for me to write other than dialogue. I have been writing short stories for a while and now i have sort of ventured into writing for the screen. different than what I have been used to.
Thank you for making your work available for free. It’s not often you see TH-cam screenwriting videos that have both pieces of the puzzle (e.g. presentation and a thorough knowledge of screenwriting). I was wondering, how were you able to shoot the video while changing the script? Did use you record what you did on screen with a camera?
This is a good lesson for me to learn. But i'm still having a difficult time writing action and describing scenes within my screenplays, and i wandering if its me being to direct in trying to unecessary words such as: big words. Or am just thinking too novel wise. If john or any one else on here can give me some advice or help me, that"ll be cool.
This is very informative. Query as to why you didn't mention that SMITH wasn't shooting at men in a vehicle. At first I thought maybe these guys were just standing on the street. Should the description include the fact that the gunman and driver are in a (moving) vehicle?
Brilliant. I noticed that you named him GUNMAN but then later referred to him as The Gunman. That's like calling him "The Steve", according to The Screenwriter's Bible.
he didn't name him, he assigned a role so that it is clear to viewers that there are two men, each with a specific role. Second, it should read 'the gunman' in that last part, but he decides to capitalize the G to make it clear that it's the same gunman who's being shot... I'm a year late oops 😒
Red shirts comes from Sci-Fi, specifically the original series of Star Trek. The lower class officers aboard the ship would always wear red uniforms and would inevitably be the first to die whenever any dangerous situation arose. Now a days the term has evolved to mean any disposable character. Even though they don't necessarily die, neither the gunman or the driver are intended to be characters we see again, so they function in the same way as red shirts would.
I have an example of fight scene i'm writing between two siblings and for some reason it doesnt sound right. Tell me what you think. Ben instantly right hooks across the jaw, angela loses her balance. Ben then grabs her and throws her across the pavement.
I know this is pretty late but maybe you´re still interested... ;) Red-Shirts are people who are supposed to die. This became well known when actors or extras that appeared in the beginning of Star Trek episodes wearing red shirts almost always died.
every action scene should be original! for ex. tim is passenger in speeding car with gunmen in black cars chasing him so when tim is near the black car he dashes out the door and flys past enemys windsheild n shoots both gunmen in chest, quickly puts away guns n instantly grabs side of car by fingers through windsheild n instantly smashes through side window n knocks both bodys out the drivers door and quickly gains control of the car readying the next attack!
"Red Shirts" is a term geeks and nerd frequently use to refer to disposable, non relevant cannon fodder. A nod to Star Trek from the 60's where the premise seemed to be if you wore a red shirt, you weren't gonna last long. Scotty being the principal exception to this "rule".
Nice try but this can be improved even further. Hell is a proper noun & should always be capitalised. ‘Glass SHOWERS the sidewalk. ‘Getting’ is awful Yank writing; never ever use it, or ‘gotten’ FFS. ‘Fleeing for their lives.’ just works better. ‘Keeps or STAYS low’ not ‘keeping.’ RAPID-FIRES three rounds - TWO slugs drop the Gunman. The Driver shoves him into the back seat, jumps in and floors it.
In all of TH-cam, why's it so hard to get something this simple, and effective?
You have done the seemingly impossible.
Thank you so much!
ikr man
It's amazing how much leverage a writer can get by changing a few words. The action is much more compelling.
Arnaud Drouin takes practice and skill
Mr. August! We need more of these tutorials. Thanks!
Great notes here. Thanks for putting it together. Would like to see more like this.
Mr.August please make more of these videos. This is the stuff most people don't teach. So teach us.
brilliant, john. you're one of hollywood's top pens for a reason.
I'm really enjoying these videos.
Its amazing how much difference good writing makes. Once revised, I could actually visualise the scene as it was being read out and it seemed a lot more interesting.
Thanks for posting these. Look forward to more of your writing tips.
This is amazing. I wish there to be hundreds of these.
I know its been awhile since this video was made, great job by the way; it was clear and concise. However, I have a question about screenwriting, should I just write out my story and then edit all the plain sentences at the end? Thank you for making this it has helped out a lot!
Since no one answered: yes. I'm not an expert but the first draft only needs to exist. Finish it. After that, you can go back and change things.
I second Connor's answer: just get the 1st draft done. Also, if you save the wordsmithing for the next draft, it's fun and you'll have a natural motivation to do a 2nd draft which, more often than not, results in an even better story because you'll probably find ways to improve your story during a subsequent draft.
I need these types of videos but for novel writing. I feel like all the writing tubers drag on so much
this channel is a hidden gem..
I understand "ing" verbs were not to be used, making "Squeezing off three rounds..." incorrect. Wouldn't it be, "He squeezes off three rounds and hits the Gunman with two of them."? The last sentence is strange because it appears as if the Driver is possibly flooring his buddy because it's a continuous action of grabbing and flooring, rather than "stomps on the gas." I'm no professional, but I'm working hard to get there. All in all, this advice was pretty good. Thanks!
"squeezing off" flows better here then squeezes. Its OK if using other tenses sound better. All formats are guidelines. Feel free to break the rules once you know the rule. Your story and flow are two main essences in your screenplay.
Please don't try and correct the man. Just be grateful! This video is pure gold.
Another terrific video, John. Thanks again for this.
@johnaugust
In your blog you say action is the least rewarding for a writer. Personally, I love writing action, probably because I am such a visual person. It's dialogue that I tend to find grueling to work with (and of course, story structure). I'm also kind of weird in that I enjoy the revision process more than banging out a first draft. The first draft is always the most difficult for me, while subsequent revisions are smooth sailin'.
Good job. It was very valuable. Thank you for making this.
its amazing thank you for doing those.
As a freshman screenwriter I need this. Great story, but I don’t know how to write a script. Can’t wait to do my second draft. This will help. Thank you.
Shouldn't be there a hint about Driver's and Gunman's position in the scene? Are they sitting in the car? Character name DRIVER makes it all clear?
I tend to overwrite those scenes sometimes, but is the further description really necessary?
Very concise directive more please my lineal film goes through many generations so learning to describe certain aspects of a scene that make it visualy accepted by the audience without leaving themain directive or theme .thank you john
thank you so much or all of your great videos. Sincerely! Very simple for understanding yet so in depth
Thank you John.
These are very cool. Wish you'd upload more 'lessons'.
That was super helpful, thank you John!
I wish to be a film director/writer and this video was very helpful thank you 😁
same here
I would have to agree with you on that. The first words are the hardest for me to grab and put on paper. Also, action is easier for me to write other than dialogue. I have been writing short stories for a while and now i have sort of ventured into writing for the screen. different than what I have been used to.
Hella good teaching style. Thanks.
Brilliant, thanks - this is really useful for me - i appreciate it.
a great action scene is beauty in its best form
Tremendously helpful.
Thank you for sharing.
This is amazing
Thank you for making your work available for free. It’s not often you see TH-cam screenwriting videos that have both pieces of the puzzle (e.g. presentation and a thorough knowledge of screenwriting). I was wondering, how were you able to shoot the video while changing the script? Did use you record what you did on screen with a camera?
Brilliant!
Great video as always. Please keep going. Thanks!
This is a good lesson for me to learn. But i'm still having a difficult time writing action and describing scenes within my screenplays, and i wandering if its me being to direct in trying to unecessary words such as: big words. Or am just thinking too novel wise. If john or any one else on here can give me some advice or help me, that"ll be cool.
More these, please!
This is very informative. Query as to why you didn't mention that SMITH wasn't shooting at men in a vehicle. At first I thought maybe these guys were just standing on the street. Should the description include the fact that the gunman and driver are in a (moving) vehicle?
I guess this is pretty helpful. Thanks!
Awesome! Thanks
good tutorial. might show this to someone.
Very helpful. Thanks...
How do you know what words to capitalize?
Can u pls do more of these?
Squeezing off three ROUNDS should really be FIRES THREE SHOTS, imo.
It is not incorrect. Active writing helps the script sell and breathe.
@@2012XF3 Why not use FIRES THREE ROUNDS?
@@Madbandit77 you caan also use that i prefer that actually, but i think its for mature man the word Squeezing than fire 3 shots
Where can I find more videos like this?????
So helpful
Brilliant. I noticed that you named him GUNMAN but then later referred to him as The Gunman. That's like calling him "The Steve", according to The Screenwriter's Bible.
he didn't name him, he assigned a role so that it is clear to viewers that there are two men, each with a specific role. Second, it should read 'the gunman' in that last part, but he decides to capitalize the G to make it clear that it's the same gunman who's being shot...
I'm a year late oops 😒
@@sketchgiirl Yep.
Can someone please tell me the name of the SOFTWARE? It would be a huge favour.
Do you only capitalize names when they first appear in a script?
Thank u!!!!!
Love these. What did you mean by "red shirts"? Bad guys?
It’s a reference to the _Star Trek_ fanbase: memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Redshirt
INT. BASEMENT. NIGHT.
the aspiring WRITER watches a youtube video. gets the point. keeps procrastinating.
What did you mean by "red shirts" when you spoke about the Gunman and the driver?
Red shirts comes from Sci-Fi, specifically the original series of Star Trek. The lower class officers aboard the ship would always wear red uniforms and would inevitably be the first to die whenever any dangerous situation arose. Now a days the term has evolved to mean any disposable character. Even though they don't necessarily die, neither the gunman or the driver are intended to be characters we see again, so they function in the same way as red shirts would.
Please make all screenplay tricks and how to start from step 1 to advance. Please.....
Why is two gunshots capitalized?
I'll correct you, John.
TWO GUNSHOT break the silence. Windows BLOW OUT, glass SPRAYING on the sidewalk. Smith ducks behind the parked car.
Could you tell me why some words are put in capital letters, please?
@@victordiaz9581 emphasis
Thanks. Classic Trek was all I needed. And I would disagree that Scotty (a red shirt) isn't important.
Note to self: Wear blue.
dafuq?
Perfect
I have an example of fight scene i'm writing between two siblings and for some reason it doesnt sound right. Tell me what you think. Ben instantly right hooks across the jaw, angela loses her balance. Ben then grabs her and throws her across the pavement.
why is SHOOTS in big letters ?
What is a « BEAT » ? Other than the smallest unit of action …
I know this is pretty late but maybe you´re still interested... ;) Red-Shirts are people who are supposed to die. This became well known when actors or extras that appeared in the beginning of Star Trek episodes wearing red shirts almost always died.
Wow, this guy wrote Big Fish.
I’m surprised that so many people here aren’t familiar with the term “redshirt.”
would it not be self-evident that if Smith ducked behind a car that the car is parked.
glass sprays not spraying
is it mandatory to make things more difficult and confusing to make it more stylish??
nope.
Smith ducks behind a car, why bother writing down? It means the same as duck.
every action scene should be original! for ex. tim is passenger in speeding car with gunmen in black cars chasing him so when tim is near the black car he dashes out the door and flys past enemys windsheild n shoots both gunmen in chest, quickly puts away guns n instantly grabs side of car by fingers through windsheild n instantly smashes through side window n knocks both bodys out the drivers door and quickly gains control of the car readying the next attack!
Are largely irrelevant henchman referred to as "Red shirts"?
I believe that is in reference to Star Trek's red shirt crewman. The are agents of action but are disposable.
"Red Shirts" is a term geeks and nerd frequently use to refer to disposable, non relevant cannon fodder. A nod to Star Trek from the 60's where the premise seemed to be if you wore a red shirt, you weren't gonna last long.
Scotty being the principal exception to this "rule".
teach me english please
Omg the typing sounds are driving me crazy!!!
TWO GUN SHOTS:
"Smith takes out his gun and shoots back"
"Another man (Wesson) ... drives away."
Nice try but this can be improved even further. Hell is a proper noun & should always be capitalised. ‘Glass SHOWERS the sidewalk. ‘Getting’ is awful Yank writing; never ever use it, or ‘gotten’ FFS. ‘Fleeing for their lives.’ just works better. ‘Keeps or STAYS low’ not ‘keeping.’ RAPID-FIRES three rounds - TWO slugs drop the Gunman. The Driver shoves him into the back seat, jumps in and floors it.