I could've understood the fathers actions if the wife cheated on him and then he was forced to raise the kid, but since he knew about the kid before he started dating the mother and still decided to treat the kid like an outsider, it's plainly unforgivable. OP should just move out and not look back, too little too late
To be fair, 99% of the pain here is caused by the self. It doesn't matter if your parents are your biological parents. The fact that you place importance on that at all is idiocy and it's causing the pain you complain about. People are people, they all mean the same thing - for better or for worse.
@@privateuser3726 I was. As I said, placing importance on the idea that your parents are your biological parents will cause you pain if it ends up not being true. And the pain is increased because you thought your parents being biological parents meant you needed to put work into it. Both my foster parents and bio parents are terrible people who treated me poorly, and I saved myself a lot of pain by realizing they're just normal people. There's nothing special about anyone, it's an empty world underneath the skin for humanity. The hardest thing to face is that we're all the same at the end of the day. When you strip down all the lies, all the pain, all the flesh, all the temporary things that change. We are all the same. Not that we are all terrible - just that we all make mistakes and are all mortal and subject to the throes of existence. All caught in cycles. Like, for me both my families were native and both had heavy addiction issues and both had internalized racism. So I was treated poorly for having the same color skin as my father and excluded from a lot of family gatherings despite my blood and upbringing being native. They were both caught in cycles and the only way to get peace was the recognize that. They were gonna hurt me no matter what whether they wanted to or not because it's a cycle they don't know how to stop. But I do. I can stop it by letting it all go, not holding myself hostage for what they did.
You tell a kid something like that not just let them believe that their own father would favor his other siblings over him that’s a torture I wouldn’t put my worst enemy through
@@privateuser3726 I was "raised" by native american foster parents who abused me on every level a being has within them. I was devastated by their behaviour, and they held me back a lot. Still, if I sit here and act like my goals are unreachable because of how someone else treated me, then it's my fault if I end up in a difficult situation. I am completely alone, I have no family. The ones that I had left have all died from OD and self-termination. I have no one to blame and no one to ask for help; no one to rely on. It's been this way since I was 12 years old, when I chose to be homeless rather than live with people who hated me for my skin color, who dehumanized me for things I couldn't change. We can't change other people, we can only change ourselves. If we refuse to, then blaming other people is just ignorance.
@@swish8823 well, I've been through exactly that. My brother had a Dominican father, and I had a Dutch one. So my native American foster family would give all my opportunities to my brother. Even though they caused me brain injury and broke my bones, they still thought my skin would give me all the opportunities in life. My mother was native American, which is why I was put into a native household. But I got the short end of the stick. I was raised to be a native but I wasn't allowed to feel like one. My brother, who I loved deeply, even though he contributed to my abuse; ended up dying from an OD after being a gold miner and making a large amount of money. His life was also ruined by all the opportunities he got. He didn't trust anyone anymore, not even me. He had learned to separate himself from me, even though we were only 10 months apart in age. He admitted shortly before he died that he was sorry for everything he did and the way I was treated growing up. Still, I've managed to sue foster care for allowing the situation, and I earned enough money to buy a small used mobile home in a small town. I wouldn't have created any success for myself if I blamed them for anything that happened. I know I was mistreated because of an intergenerational cycle which I'm merely a part of. I can't say they didn't do anything wrong; but what I will say is that I clearly have more power to end that cycle, and so that's what I choose. It's my responsibility to be the best person I can be, even though brain injury, through being falsely medicated for 8 years, through breaking limbs and healing scars. It's all me, and this is true for everyone.
I could've understood the fathers actions if the wife cheated on him and then he was forced to raise the kid, but since he knew about the kid before he started dating the mother and still decided to treat the kid like an outsider, it's plainly unforgivable. OP should just move out and not look back, too little too late
What? It's a CHILD
There's no excuse for abusing an innocent CHILD
That man cannot be forgiven, he was actively mentally abusive to OP. Don’t let him forget that. He knew what he was doing, he’s a big boy.
To be fair, 99% of the pain here is caused by the self. It doesn't matter if your parents are your biological parents. The fact that you place importance on that at all is idiocy and it's causing the pain you complain about.
People are people, they all mean the same thing - for better or for worse.
Were you not paying attention when he said they treated him like shit
@@privateuser3726 I was. As I said, placing importance on the idea that your parents are your biological parents will cause you pain if it ends up not being true. And the pain is increased because you thought your parents being biological parents meant you needed to put work into it. Both my foster parents and bio parents are terrible people who treated me poorly, and I saved myself a lot of pain by realizing they're just normal people. There's nothing special about anyone, it's an empty world underneath the skin for humanity.
The hardest thing to face is that we're all the same at the end of the day. When you strip down all the lies, all the pain, all the flesh, all the temporary things that change. We are all the same. Not that we are all terrible - just that we all make mistakes and are all mortal and subject to the throes of existence. All caught in cycles.
Like, for me both my families were native and both had heavy addiction issues and both had internalized racism. So I was treated poorly for having the same color skin as my father and excluded from a lot of family gatherings despite my blood and upbringing being native. They were both caught in cycles and the only way to get peace was the recognize that. They were gonna hurt me no matter what whether they wanted to or not because it's a cycle they don't know how to stop. But I do. I can stop it by letting it all go, not holding myself hostage for what they did.
You tell a kid something like that not just let them believe that their own father would favor his other siblings over him that’s a torture I wouldn’t put my worst enemy through
@@privateuser3726 I was "raised" by native american foster parents who abused me on every level a being has within them. I was devastated by their behaviour, and they held me back a lot.
Still, if I sit here and act like my goals are unreachable because of how someone else treated me, then it's my fault if I end up in a difficult situation.
I am completely alone, I have no family. The ones that I had left have all died from OD and self-termination. I have no one to blame and no one to ask for help; no one to rely on.
It's been this way since I was 12 years old, when I chose to be homeless rather than live with people who hated me for my skin color, who dehumanized me for things I couldn't change.
We can't change other people, we can only change ourselves. If we refuse to, then blaming other people is just ignorance.
@@swish8823 well, I've been through exactly that. My brother had a Dominican father, and I had a Dutch one. So my native American foster family would give all my opportunities to my brother. Even though they caused me brain injury and broke my bones, they still thought my skin would give me all the opportunities in life.
My mother was native American, which is why I was put into a native household. But I got the short end of the stick. I was raised to be a native but I wasn't allowed to feel like one.
My brother, who I loved deeply, even though he contributed to my abuse; ended up dying from an OD after being a gold miner and making a large amount of money. His life was also ruined by all the opportunities he got. He didn't trust anyone anymore, not even me. He had learned to separate himself from me, even though we were only 10 months apart in age.
He admitted shortly before he died that he was sorry for everything he did and the way I was treated growing up.
Still, I've managed to sue foster care for allowing the situation, and I earned enough money to buy a small used mobile home in a small town. I wouldn't have created any success for myself if I blamed them for anything that happened. I know I was mistreated because of an intergenerational cycle which I'm merely a part of.
I can't say they didn't do anything wrong; but what I will say is that I clearly have more power to end that cycle, and so that's what I choose. It's my responsibility to be the best person I can be, even though brain injury, through being falsely medicated for 8 years, through breaking limbs and healing scars.
It's all me, and this is true for everyone.