Celebrity relationships won't save your own 😬 | Khadija Mbowe
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ต.ค. 2024
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Sarimbam
• Sarim bam
“Two talented lightskins…” I had to pause the video to gather myself 😭😭😭😭
CHILE same! That SENT ME!💀😭
LMAO! The holler I hollered.
Life alert: HELP! I've fallen and ICAN'T 😂😂😂😂😂
Same
I’m hollering!!! 😂😂😂☠️
I used to love sharing content about my boyfriends as a teenager - and even early into my current relationship - but these days I have zeeeero desire to post a cute little message publicly declaring my love for my partner lmao. Sometimes I wonder if people notice the absence of posts. I barely post on ig at all anymore but what if people are like, “oh tiff hasn’t posted him in a while? She didn’t post for Valentine’s Day? Are things still good??” And it’s like, I live with him! We have a whole wonderful life together! I know I don’t have to prove it for social media hahaha but our culture certainly expects it. It’s been really nice keeping more of my private life to myself. PS - this top on you!! The texture and color compliment you so well 😍💛
That’s exactly how my partner of 6 years and I are. Beginning of the relationship was non-stop posting but it’s settled into nothingness haha. I know there’s definitely handfuls of acquaintances, former coworkers, etc that were very used to seeing him around, plus we just got engaged a few months ago. People seem to think we broke up since I’m not non-stop sharing wedding planning or even have a significant announcement post but we’re just doing our thing over here and the thought of commodifying it to please people I don’t talk to on a regular basis makes me feel weird.
exactly how it should be
I appreciate this SO MUCH! I have been with my partner for 3 years, early on we would post pics of each other and etc and it just felt..:ingenuine - as if we were only doing it cause that’s what it felt like we were SUPPOSED to do. We never do that anymore, and tbh I prefer it that way. I hate the idea of having random people i’m not even close to knowing my personal life, and while I love love, I have no need to virtue signal my romantic life to people who don’t really know me via social media
Omg. I love you Tiffany! I just watched your videos before I came here
I’ve been with my partner for 6 years and I still love sharing and expressing our love for my friends and family and they enjoy it too :) one of my love languages is appreciation 💕 so do whatever you feel comfortable doing
I have NEVER encountered a couple who assaults the social medias with every scintilla of their relationship, and there *wasn't* real trouble there. They do it to distract us, but mostly themselves, from their reality. It's like, ooh look at this shiny thing, and not the dumpster fire over there.
but mostly themselves...my god that was a word. 👏🏿
YES! I've been saying it for years,. They're trying to compensate something. I'm in a happy and healthy relationship and never in our 8 years together did I feel the urge to share our life with people on social media. My theory is that the health of a relationship is inversely proportional to its social media presence lmao.
THIS! even just with people I see on my facebook feed of people I knew in middle school. The more intense the posts about their AMAZING s/o the nastier and faster that breakup is going to be. The people who make it work and last are the ones who almost never post anything about it.
@@sugarbomb187 I think it really can be boiled down to a mathematical equation 😂
Thisss
"Two talented lightskins."
PAUSE
Ima head out and catch my breath 😂
Thank god I'm not the only one because that shit took me out💀💀💀
@@l-_olvlo_-l Same. 💀😭
I literally feel nothing from celebrity relationships, it could be due to being a child of divorced/separated parents, but I just don't idealize relationships in general
I feel that if the pretty people can't keep their relationship together then me a regular mortal has no chance. Lol
@@comkver if a relationship revolves around 'beauty' that's already a bad start
@@comkver Nah those superficial relationships be the worst! The prettier the couple, the worst the relationship usually is because they don’t focus on their inner worlds. It’s all external and lust.
I feel this exact same way
@@comkver Id say a regular mortal has more chance because u dont have a bunch of yes people and media apparati trying to both stan your union while actively trying to break it apart for their own benefits. Also, its easier when its not centred on how beautiful people are. And i say this being shallow coz I'm one of those uggos who can't get enough of seeing beautiful people together
i feel like its two different things to be like "aw this is cute! im glad for them!" versus obsessively following a specific celeb relationship, instagram accounts, etc
I feel this. I admire it, but I don't go out of my way to bring harm if said couple broke up.
It’s actually really scary that people will look at celebrity relationships as a blueprint. It’s okay to find it cute but goals? Uh uh we don’t know them people.
Exactly! It seems all about appearance
Sndndnd i getthe idea of goals but attaching it to people as opposed to ideals is weird
The fact that grown adults need to be told this is incredibly depressing but unfortunately necessary.
Yes, most Stan’s are Young adults and not actually teenagers. Twitter spaces confirmed this for me. It looks like teens are the ones with things who have things to actually do. 😭
@@bmwjourdandunngoddess6024 nah cuz teens will talk amongst themselves, but not really in comments sections and online debates much haha
what comes to mind is john mulaney's divorce, where the whole internet felt betrayed bc he'd made their relationship such a central part of his brand. the reactions were completely unhinged, and he went from meme king to completely ostracised on social media
the most disturbing facet was the endless speculation abt his recovery/ability to parent, it just said so much abt the nature of parasocial relationships, ppl were actively condemning and wishing him to fail.
now, i'm not saying he was free of guilt, far from it, and to me the worst part was his ex-wife having to face this public scrutiny bc of him, but the fact that ppl felt owed a happy relationship bc of #goals is still baffling to me.
Will & Jada come to mind , I don't like how people just used them to slander Jada as misogynoir piñata. Like why keep insulting Will wife if you "Stan" him so much.
The problem is that he pretended to be someone he wasn't. I think some people were really invested in his fake persona for some reason and felt cheated. It is stupid because they don't even know the guy.
@jessica I get what you're saying, but ultimately, whether it's part of his private life or his public life, it's still not the audience's life. I agree that it does get more complicated, but I really feel like that's what it boils down to, you know? Is that as much as celebrities and whoever else are marketed as products, they're still ultimately random, individual people who we as viewers don't actually know and aren't entitled to.
@jessica yes he did. but it was his fans/audience who elevated it to #goals. lots of ppl use their personal life in their art, but this idolisation of celebrity relationships is very strange to me. and to have a guy publicly repeat how much he loves his wife shouldn't really be used as ammunition to shame him, and by extention, her. ppl sometimes drift apart, and i think we can find things relatable or cute or goals or whatever without it becoming something we're entitled to. as khadija said, we are only privy to what they choose to share, we don't know shit abt their real relationships.
and specifically abt them, i appreciate that he used his platform to subvert the toxic expectations that used to be the norm in the comedy sphere. and i'm not immune either, his work is tainted for me too, but i still think the backlash was a major exaggeration.
not me living for the convo going on in these replies
Been watched this on Patreon and finally it reach the main channel so I can rejoice in joy of the return of Khadija "sitting by the bed and talking" Mbowe 😍
How tf do you not have a checkmark? TH-cam wtf
@@zelokorLocalGodOfChaosAndBread good point. TH-cam better get on that
Ah yes, the legendary bedroom setup, good times. 🙂 Also my algorithm will pay for not notifying of the return of our figurative, said in hyperbole, (democracy is better) , Quee.. errh NB fem monarch! (What's worse is that I'm a Patron but I'm never on the platform XD)
Khadija needs to put out a "Books I read in a year"
Bc I think that would make a nice 6 hour long video.
omg yes!
Hundope!
Petition to make this happen😩
I never understood the appeal in celebrity relationships, but I can understand why others get so attached to the idea and image of love. There's something wholesome about being drawn to love, buuuuut yeah, the wholesomeness wanes when it's vicarious living or taken too far.
pleasure to see you good sir
Maybe it's our way to understand emotions, we tend to observe how people react and what they do when it comes to feelings in general, that's how we know what to 'expect', what to 'long for', what is wrong or right, idk
Reminds me a lot of Dave and Rachel Hollis (Self help gurus). They sold marriage advice like they were the perfect couple and then turned around, got divorced and then admitted they had been struggling for years. Don't make your marriage or relationship a product, never turns out well.
Remember that Jelena phase so many teens were obsessed about? The fans took the breakup personally, totally discarding the fact that two individuals can have separate lives and maybe the fans shouldn't have been as invested.
AAAHHH yes and the fact there are still Selena stans who hate on Haley Bieber 😩😩 bonkers!
@@meghansullivan6812 yeah! Fandoms have no conscience, be it anyone
My husband and I have been married 7years. We do not post much about each other online. It seems to work. Still love him.
"I always end up liking the idea of a relationship instead of all the hard work it takes" made my ace heart sing so thank you for that
“I’m one of those people who doesn’t want to post pictures of each other unless it’s been 10 years” - relate 100%. I Another interesting topic is how quickly people move into and through relationships nowadays. My therapist called it “microwave relationships”, and honestly the near immediate expectations for sex, and some type of situationship when the person I'm seeing barely knows me is partially the reason I think why I took a break from dating. Btw, Y’all still a cute couple even if you don’t post! Lmao.
"(Many, not all!)" Made me so happy, such casual ace/aro acceptance always feels nice.
Same. I really appreciate that Khadija remembers people like me exist, and we're not a meme or just making it up because we're bitter. 🙄 So much of the world can be alienating so much of the time (AAA battery here) and sometimes even downright hostile.
There's multiple levels separating my lived experience from the typical AFAB person's, to the point that when someone is obviously interpreting me by my appearance or name as a woman, and probably assuming I'm straight because heteronormativity, I just feel fucking invisible.
Anyway, all of that to say, I too get a warm fuzzy when Khadija acknowledges I am real. They are pretty damn awesome. 💜
I literally made a long winded comment about the same thing, I'll post it here too:
Let me just say that I really appreciate you mentioning us asexual people multiple times in this video. It feels really validating to be acknowledged, especially in a video about romantic relationships. I'm one of those people who doesn't yearn for intimacy with a partner. You mentioning that only "some, not all" feel that yearning just felt really cozy. Thank you for always including us little-known minorities in your discourse 🥰
Is there a way that ace/aro and even celibates could come together on a farm or some co-op type of housing, y'know like live in a giant house (or mansion) and grow gardens together, cook potlucks, rotate chores, take up creative hobbies, and just live in harmony & in peace while growing old in a safe space without judgment - but most importantly without poverty or fear of retirement? Like I don't want to have to wait til I'm retired in a nursing home at 70 just to have community and "familial" support, na'mean jelly bean?
@@YourMajesty143 omg yes I wish that were real too, and for some reason your idea made me think of that I want like, an ace 'Love Island' type show, where it's all cuddling and dancing and backscratches, lol.
@@tobydandelion - LMAO yes! Add to that list: playing twister, building sand castles, starting snowball fights, volunteering at community shelters, and going on group cruises around the world! We could call the island "The Base of Ace" - like the band, but backwards!. Oml, we need to organize and make this happen!
You mentioning aro ace people and other aspec folks actually made me smile, thank you :)
Same! I so much appreciate our part in the queer community and the different relationship models that work for us being mentioned :D
Literally just left a comment about my reanalyzing of relationships from listening to ace experiences, because it's a perspective that is needed in non-ace experiences as well!! To break free from the heteropatriarchy, to find the true value of all our relationships and feel whole in who we are. The love of companionship transcends any "romantic" notions, and we all deserve this love!
Yessssssss!!!!
+
This was lovely. I agree that people should keep relationships private. But, I’ll admit I like to see people having quality communication, even if it’s over something small.
I’m pretty sure romantic love is a lie or at least out of my reach, but it’s nice to dream.
I agree too. Not everything in your relationship needs to be publicized.
Romantic love as a concept is sooo toxic. It limits growth in every way
romantic love can be fun to roleplay sometimes imo, I think that's like what it is though, and yeah it's kind of high effort we shouldn't expect it. tired couple who hug sometimes: valid
Same, i'd really appreciate the smallest of things. I like seeing what is like possible.
Sometimes romance is found in the laundry you do together. The Hollywood of relationships is so manufactured.
I love that you are a theatre nerd who also loves English literature and opera. I always wanted a friend who shared my interests and I never really find anyone who loves the things that are close to my heart the way those things are. Not even my significant other. Which is fine bc we share other things 💜 I just love knowing you exist in the world.
I just wanted to say that this was one of the most wholesome, sweetes comments I’ve seen in so long
All this snapped me right back to the days we were following everything to do with Brad and Jen, then Angelina coming along and HER being blamed and hated, not him. I've never really been one to seek a lot from celebrity relationships but it really is interesting how we've all kind of been trained through social media to share and show off relationships
i've never really idolized celebrity relationships, like i think some of them are cute but that's all. but i'm disabled & disfigured so i think that's put an extra layer of seperation between me & celebs. i also suspect growing up visibly disfigured has given me a more complex perspective on romantic relationships from an early age.
I am not the biggest fan of Anthony Ramos. I made a whole video about my issue with him... Long story short, I agree with you using his former relationship with Jasmine as an example of "couple goals." Some people were invested in their relationship. I wasn't aware of their relationship until I had to do research for my video on him. Both of them overly shared their relationship online. Not saying it's a bad thing, but some things are not meant for the public to see💯
P.S. - Yay, Khadija is recording on the ground again (nostalgia)😭
I’m sitting in my car after grabbing some Panda Express just to find that you uploaded lmao. Khadijah, I can never thank you enough for your hard work! Stay safe and healthy
enjoy the fooood
I think it’s okay, even cute, when people post couple pictures/videos on Instagram, but I think it’s always a red flag when they type out long ass paragraphs or essays as their captions. If you’re putting that much effort into displaying a perfect relationship/love, there is definitely something wrong their.
Smart Ive never thought of it that way
like wouldn't it be sweeter and more meaningful if it was said between them only? idk
As an ace person (who is demi-romantic at best), I enjoy watching (and creating) happy *FICTIONAL* couples just because I enjoy positive (not necessarily perfect) portrayals of love, be it romantic, platonic, or familial. I don't need or even really want romantic love for myself, but seeing loyal, invested, happy, supportive relationships makes my cynical, borderline-misanthropic heart warm. Quinn Argone and Gary Goodspeed, Morticia and Gomez, Jadzia and Worf, Major Kira and Odo - these are some of my top couple investments because they're portrayed with obstacles and difficulties while also being positive and healthy. Seeing people put in the work to honestly and loyally walk that road together and gain and maintain that connection is very rewarding to someone who is often thinks of how crappy this world can be. In the end, it's about a great STORY, one I can still manage to believe in. And I don't get that from real couples because they're almost as controlled as fictional relationships, yet somehow more dishonest, even the individuals in it with themselves.
Anyway, I look forward to romancing my next boo when the next Dragon Age game comes out, realizing my own rewarding fictional relationship, while I continue to do my own thing in the real world. It's more than enough for me.
I can relate to this hardcore. I read so much slash fanfiction but I have to filter out the explicit stuff because it makes me uncomfortable 😂 I agree, it's very rewarding to watch healthy relationships develop and get the warm fuzzies from afar, but I don't feel the need to have that in my own life. It felt so validating to be mentioned and considered in this video though 🥰
What really gets my goat are the people who continue to ship celebrities who have separated, even after they are happily married to and have had children with other people. So disrespectful to their actual spouses, as if they are somehow lesser than their celebrity partner's exes. Looking at you, Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone shippers, Ariana Grande and Mac Miller shippers...😑😒
Selena and Justin too 🥲🥴😩
Right now it's Kim and Kanye, people are really enabling and justifying his harassing texts, love bombing, and stalking (to the point he moved into the house across the street from her, despite his claim for the divorce being that he wanted to move back to Chicago). To him, Kim is just a prize and if he can't have her, then no one can. It's disturbing seeing people support this toxic behavior on the pretext of "true love" or "OTP".
@@YourMajesty143 that's extremely alarming. i wasn't aware that anyone was on fkn kanye's side in this situation. his behavior? that's not love.
@@meghansullivan6812 Just read the comments on his Instagram posts.
Also Britney Spears and Justin come to mind!
When the world needed her most...
Instagram captions addressing or responding to another persons post will never not kill my soul
“Two talented lightskins” instantly subscribed
People putting their whole life on social media is still so weird to me. I've been with my SO for 3 yrs and we didn't even post that we got married. I even ran into old friends and had to be like, "Oh, this is my partner, who you've never seen."
Khadija...it's called a "showmance" (show+romance when referencing Jasmine and Anthony's relationship, for example...since they were in Hamilton together). Get it together girl! Lol 😋
you right 🥺
@@KhadijaMbowe haha no shade just being silly 😜 I've been binging your videos a lot lately...thank you for all your work! ❤️
What you say about love being stillness in choice? That resonated with me so, so much. I wrote a transcript of what you said, so I could go back to it and read it whenever, and I think it is so powerful. Love is a choice, love is not just the beautiful and happy moments, it's the ugly and the devastating times too, love is knowing all of this and continuing to make that choice. This is the transcript:
“...the desire for intimacy comes first in my opinion but the love, the love is what keeps us sticking around and it is not easy because it’s a decision you have to keep making, so long as you’re committed to anyone in your life, in any meaningful way. My definition of love in any sense, romantic, platonic, familial, is about stillness in choice. I love you, so I let you come as you are, and I meet you with as much space as possible for you to feel your feelings, to share your triumphs, to commiserate your failures and all of it is a choice that I agree to keep making, and every time I make that choice the love gets stronger and so does our level of intimacy. It’s not always easy, I don’t always do the best job, but I’m committed to choosing it each time.”
Thank you for writing this out!! Got my S Pen so I can copy paste this off my tablet! 😆
@@YourMajesty143 of course! I figured there would be other people out there who wanted it too. I think it's such a beautifully worded description
My take on the John Mulaney "scandal" was "Okay? He was a literal addict BEFORE the scandal, idk why we thought he wouldn't be an addict after it" and mostly felt bad for Anna who kinda watched people weep over this persona instead of like... not doing that? Imagine you get cheated on and all anyone cares about is how "the guy who cheated seemed like a nice guy and now I realize that his on-stage, carefully calculated persona used specifically for comedy shows isn't who he says he was?"
I guess I don't really form the same parasocial connection. I'm aware they're acting and I like them and follow their works, but I'm not like friends with them. They don't know me. Everything they put out is "assumed" to be willingly and it's calculated. :/ I guess since I'm asocial and weird (full formal diagnosis pending for what up's in my brain) I also don't really show my true self to people IRL anyway. It's a calculated and conscious persona to seem nice, kind, smart, and approachable... That's their JOB too, they get paid for what I do for free...
I’ve been waiting on someone to discuss this and your the perfect person to handle this topic for me. I’ve never looked up to any relationship because you never know what people hide behind closed doors. Which is why I never understood when people would just give random people that they really don’t know on a personal live couple goals especially celebrities. However I find it interesting when these people that praise them get mad at the celebrity couples that they were rooting for when they go against what they thought was perfect. Like people need to stop projecting their issues within themselves on to others because they will get disappointed.
Celebrity Relationships are like dolls in my imagination because Queer Relationships and Marriage Equality is still a fantasy for some of us.
I hope you find the kind of sustainable relationship that sustains you as much as possible 🏳️🌈♿️🏳️⚧️💜
It was truely… something else, to see a few of my peers become disabled and have to throw away their dreams of marriage.
@@michellekholmatov9562 right & the idea Ableism is something unusual or low consequence is so painful
As a fellow closed queer I feel this. I read so much wlw and mlm fanfictions because it's the only way I can get the representation I was robbed off without invading someone's privacy
@@emcrolls Thank you! That is lovely to hear ♥️
Honestly I don't engage with celebrity relationships because in a way that sense of manufactured intimacy is really potent...I find I'm more engaged with relationships of the smaller creators I watch lol
I’ve never understood people’s obsession with celebrity relationships. It annoyed me as a kid when my mom had on her entertainment “news” shows, and I just don’t pay attention to any of it now. Being aroace probably has a lot to do with that. (And thank you for acknowledging us aspec people.)
As a theatre nerd myself.. I was heartbroken. Dunno why, but damn.
your take on exposing romantic relationship is so on point, I feel like I prefer to keep mine as private as possible, to the point I barely talk about it w/ my closest friends as well.
I personally have no problem seeing people in love. I quite like it.
The problem, for me, is our obsession with other peoples relationships. It is incredibly unhealthy for us to be so invested in the lives of people we don’t know.
I think looking at celebrity worship - and my extension celebrity relationship worship - as a form of escapism helps explain this tendancy many of us have to take celebrity breakups personally. If a relationshp we idealized ends, we can't mentally escape there like we once had. So it can feel like something is lost, even though it wasn't a tangible thing we had to begin with.
Of course this isn't the only factor, but it is the explanation I've found that best explains these tendacnies within myself, especially when I was younger. It might be different for others though.
Amazing video as always 😊
I gave my stance on “relationship goals” in a separate comment, but I wanted to add that I become invested when friendships end. I want so badly to know why a 10+ year sisterhood ended. It makes me sad, but again, I don’t know these people so it really doesn’t matter.
sameeee. Some platonic relationships are gut-wrenching when they end and it's always so interesting to see
I don't idolize relationships. Period.
The first few words took me OUT lmao "Two Talented Lightskins" 🤣 This video definitely gave I'm back from a break vibes. perfection. 👌🏽
The number of times I replayed the "two talented lightskins" part, before actually starting the video 😭
That SENT me
Side note, you look absolutely fabulous!! Love your shirt!
thank you!
no because why should I dedicate so much time and energy to the personal drama of actual strangers when I can barely keep track of my own
Khadijah,
Thank you for sharing your brilliance with the world. I am a sapphic woman and I often struggle with what that means for me. Sometimes I wonder if I'm lying to myself and others about my sexuality, because I don't really know how to be in a relationship or how to go about starting one and I'm not around other women that I can have these conversations with.
I often feel very lonely, but seeing you talk about your life experiences as a queer woman makes me feel a little less alone and a little more like myself. I just wanted to let you know that you've touched somebody's life in a very positive way. I will try and make a donation soon when I have money, but I felt moved to leave you this note right now. Wishing you many blessings 💞
💕💕💕
This video resonated deep. I'm in this space too... facing the hard Truths of how I do or have been doing relationships.
💕
a video from khadija on my birthday???? great to see u!
happy birthday!
Happy bday
Happy birthday ❤❤
happy birthday!!
Happy birthday 🥳
I totally agree that we should redirect our attention from celebrity relationships; I've often thought that it's a natural outgrowth of normal human interest in other people. We didn't evolve to have this much exposure to this many different people. It takes conscious effort to redirect that focus to people who can reciprocate that care and attention.
One of the major realizations I had as I became an adult was that just because people are famous doesn't mean they are mature, emotionally intelligent, or make good choices. In fact, they're usually less self aware and less prone to growth than us regular folks, because they are surrounded by a culture and by people that build up their ego. Even worse, they make these mistakes/choices in front of the whole world. It's been crazy to be able to look at celebrity behavior, and identify how toxic, immature, or unhealthy it is. On the other hand, it definitely shows me how much I've grown as a person, so that's cool.
It's so nostalgic seeing you sitting by the bed again for your videos! I always feel safer and cozier when I'm sitting on the ground and it feels like you're just cozying up for a chat by your bed! :) I really enjoyed this video thank you so much!!
Khadija, don't even get me started on kpop industry relationships and friendships we see on camera 🙄✋
Trust me, that never ending spiral CAN and will drag you down.
What about fictional relationships? Can those help?
I mean, depends if you end up idealising those. I've had the experience of reading a lot of yuri manga.......like, a LOT. And the trap for me has been immersing myself in the feelings of the relationships on display there. It's like a drug, as good as it feels to be feeling those feelings of love between characters.
But what hits me like a truck, inevitably, is coming back to reality and realising how lonely my actual life is in comparison, how.....bordering on impossible developing anything deeper with anyone has been and continues to be, being a lesbian who's just generally worn out with modern dating.
@@toriestrella I relate so much... I'm not good with people so I have explored my attraction to different genders mainly through fiction. I like to find characters that ''get me'' and word exactly how I feel. But I end up feeling more lonely bc the character is the fictional creation of a succesful author and I'm still alone in my room. I mean people say fiction it's like a dialog between the author and the audience but to me it also feels like a kind of parasocial relationship if used to escape reality (like I do lol)
maybe im biased because i never got invested in real life celebrity couples, but fictional shipping is better, imo. i know this makes me sound like a bodypillow-clutching unwashed shut-in (i take offense to that: i bathe regularly), but hear me out: people will argue that being invested in real life couples makes it more ~real~ and ~high stakes~ but i just find it kinda creepy and invasive. with fictional characters though? yeah, it's... kinda supposed to be fun and low stakes?... lol
maybe it's also because the crushing majority of celebrity couplings are straight & monogamous and i'm not so i don't feel seen, but, i have 0 fucking intention of following the relationships of gay/poly celebrities. if anything that puts even more pressure on them to be perfect and put on the image of a perfect couple/throuple, ugh...
fictional shipping has its own weirdness and toxicity (harrassing irl people, producers or fans, is just categorically not okay, to be clear), but it eliminates the most glaring issue with real people shipping: fictional characters arent real so the problem of overstepping real life boundaries is not an issue. same with projecting your own experiences, biases and feelings on them. yup, they're fictional, they're literally made for that.
(nb4 anyone tries me: if you just follow celebrity couples, gush at their cute photos or even read/write rpf, fine, whatever, we all have something. again, as long as you don't actually go and harass real people, it's not the worst thing ever.)
(oh god these are way too many words, im so sorry)
First time watching you. Young person, you are the total package! Wonderful skin, intelligent and strong willed! ! ! I’m gonna subscribe. Live long and prosper, y’all !
🥺 thank u
This is why I get all my relationship goals from fictional people. It's at least equally unhealthy, but it keeps me from getting too invested in celebrities and idolizing people who will likely break up.
Enjoy my poetry...
I randomly came across this video and deadass I want to be your friend IRL.
When she broke into a wollof song, my Gambian heart leapt for joy.
Whats the name of the song?
Thank you!
My parents have always called them the noughties. I kinda dig it
I completely relate to the relationship struggles you talked about, especially when I was practicing monogamy. I expected far too much of my relationships and partners. Since embracing polyamory I have been able to break down my needs and wants rather than clinging to whoever gives me attention.
This was so great. I do find myself liking certain couples feeling disappointed when they break up. I don't feel that way often, but that might just be my ace sensibilities.
I love this!! Also Did I hear you say you’re almost 30? Girl no that face is 18, I spilt my drink When you said that😂😂
I just finished watching a video called "our conception of love is messed up" by oliSUNvia and it paired so well with this, it really made me examine my views on love and relationships and how it can be affected by seeing other #couplegoals and stereotypical TV/movie romances and accounts from strangers online.
The tattoo tour!! A gem among all the other gems in the bloopers
Yes!!! I needed this video to come out about ten years ago when I was a young, isolated queer living vicariously through ANY queer couple I saw, regardless of how messy they were. It’s the difference between the aesthetic of idealized love and the realities of actual love. Your life doesn’t turn into a soft focus, perfectly-lit fairytale but having somebody there for you does make all of the boring and annoying things better.
so I just had a random thought about your tattoos, like "I wonder if they'd show them and tell the story behind" And you did exactly that at the end, so that was cool!
And the whole video was great, I'm glad to see you back.
15:26-16:09 that whole section of the video made me scream! I'm not the only one who feels this! Hard truths but thank you for saying them out loud 🙏
Reading the bluest eye really changed me my senior year in hs. I just remember sitting in my t.a. class reading by myself, coming across the kitchen scene and just my hands shaking with each line. It's been 4 years since I've read it and after hearing it's one of your favorites, it makes me want to reread it for everything I missed before!
as part of the aro community this is really close at how i look at life with the dirfference i dont feel romantic attraction
Your definition of love as "stillness and choice" was beautiful as was the explanation you gave. I think many people know that love is a choice, but I don't often hear what it is a choice for.
My depression is gone now auntie is back
Love these Sunday launches of vids
Loved the tattoo tour in the bloops! Of course, the rest of the video was also excellent, as per usual. Your vibe is so fun and smart. If you ever have a fan meet-up in Montreal, I would be so here for it!!!
Where do TH-camrs come into this conversation? Because I was just thinking "I'm not invested in any celebrity relationships" then i remembered this TH-camr I follow who does videos with her wife and child, and how invested I am in their relationship. I guess they seem more accessible and closer because they're not big celebrities. They're not flying in private jets or attending the met gala together. We just see them cook together in they're kitchen, so it's harder to remember that they're still selling a brand.
Damn, right I loved that Shakespearen lyrical drop!
as a teen i obsessed over robert pattinson & kristen stewart relationship to such an extreme. along w/ a bunch of my friends. when they broke up it was like i had also lost something. it's very cringey looking back & I know now not to hyeprfixate on rl couples.
Honestly, I liked it better when celebrities' publicist or mgnt agency would just lie about who their client was dating, so they could just have their own semi-private life.
As far as online relationships I stop paying attn awhile ago, because some of those folks were purposely doing stuff for 'Likes'.
I feel like anyone that shares THAT much of their love and relationship with the brutal internet has to be over the top for a reason.
lady is out here teaching some interpersonal effectiveness, good job!
Never heard of them but I rock with you so I’m watching.
I like your definition of love, and really agree with it. I feel that way about my best friend of over 10 years. We're like siblings now. I may not have an interest in romantic love, but I totally get that commitment to another person whom you want to be in your life long term.
That part about what love means to you truly feels like a poem to me. This idea of stillness and choice resonates very deeply with me. thank you so much for your beautiful words💜
When you take a break from writing and catch a new Khadija upload >>>>
Great discussion! While I watched this I thought about the way people lost their minds when John Mulaney and his wife split. There was so many heightened emotions and people just really deeply invested in it, and at the end of the day the truth just was that you don't know nearly as much about public figures as you think you do.
And being a youtuber, I definitely have to be cautious and mindful of how much I discuss my relationships and partners, not just to protect their privacy but also to hopefully keep people from becoming too deeply caught up in it. That's too much pressure. Relationships are hard enough as is.
Honestly, that picture of you and your partner shines with the fact that you guys care about each other. The cocked heads, the smiles. It's adorable. Or, uh, bad-ass? Both?
Edited to add: for me? I've been through enough breakups that o think I'm done trying, and I don't get invested in celebrities, full-stop. But I'm glad for people who make it work without anyone getting crushed... in a low-key behind the scenes way. 🤣
My bf and I have been together for almost 4 years. The other day, we had an argument and I kept pushing him to say stuff that I wanted to hear and then, I stopped and apologized for overstepping my boundaries. Respect and honesty are so important! ❤️❤️❤️
Beautifully said, as always 😊❤️ I have always felt social media was too invasive for me to use regularly. I didn’t want people to have access to my life and my thoughts without my permission 😅
I love the tattoo tour. I'm glad I waited to see the entire video.
ok ive watched youtube for a while now and ive NEVER been that relaxed while watching a SURFSHARK VPN ad... thank you Kadidja
Oh man the section about CHOOSING got me teary eyed. I'm in my first deeply committed relationship and I get that now. CHOOSING is difficult and also wonderful in the way it grows love and intimacy.
I loved this one! The lighting and the tattoo tour of course 😉 but also the topic! I think a lot of folks take getting into a monogamous romantic relationship as an inevitable life goal whether we are queer or straight, so your addressing this topic generally through the lens of public romance is brilliant and effective in getting across how we are absorbing this romance narrative in so many ways continuously, and even as adults still trying to make sense of it. My absolute favorite parts of this video are that you acknowledge that love isn’t a passive “status” but it is hard work in all forms (not just romantic) and that you acknowledge that some folks are fully aware of and have an understanding of monogamous relationships and still are not interested in having one, whether temporarily or as a permanent life choice for whatever personal reason(s), and this is brilliant. ❤️ Thank you for returning Khadija!!! I am truly glad you worked on you, so vitally important especially in a role of caring for others (though not one-on-one, your channel is a service you are choosing to provide), and I may be selfish for this but I know I am not alone in saying I am glad you chose to continue to create your particular brand of content.
Such a good way to express what I feel when cute couples breakup, I could never! Can't wait for that ANTM deep dive xoxo
If you don't wanna wait for that ANTM deep dive, check out Willie Muse's channel! He's been going through the most entertaining cycle episode by episode
@@maggiescarlet omg imma binge it all thanks for the tip!!!
y'all aren't haunting me about that damn deep dive! 😗
@@KhadijaMbowe YES WE ARE
The leather vest is amazing. Thanks for another great video.
I had to pause when you started singing sarim bam cause I had no idea you could speak wollof lol, I haven't heard that song in a good minute
I always say that my parents are my only relationship goals. There are plenty of celebs/famous people/social media personalities who I admire aspects of their relationship that are made public, but I take it at face value because I don’t know those people!
I hope fictional relationships can be the alternate to these all 😲