Are you SURE you're an INTJ....
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.ค. 2024
- The INTJ personality - the mastermind, the visionary leader, the productive sage. I admire INTJs relentless pursuit of continual growth. Of the 16 personalities, the INTJ is the one that most effectively balances the left and right sides of the brain, the head and the heart, the efficient and the woo woo.
COACHING/PERSONALITY VERIFICATION
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Note: this video is almost a duplicate of my previous INTJ video "INTJs aren't the masterminds they think they are unless they do these 2 things..." and it's the video that inspired the format of this 16 personalities series. My original plan was to not make another in the same format. However, because it was done months before this series, many people were requesting I do the INTJ video, and to make it more cohesive long-term I decided to basically remake the video with a few more added touches and different examples. This way all 16 types are in one cohesive block of videos chronologically.✌️
0:00 Intro
0:29 INTJ brain regions cognitive functions
4:37 INTJ common mistypes
7:03 INTJ dominant strength Ni
12:28 Why you need extroversion
14:47 INTJ growth point Te
20:40 INTJ common weakness Fi
26:27 INTJ stretch point Se
31:41 INTJ unique gift to the world
WATCH NEXT:
○ Myers Briggs 101 - • Myers Briggs 101
○ What are cognitive functions? - • What are Cognitive Fun...
○ ENTJ vs INTJ - • ENTJ vs INTJ
○ INTP vs INTJ - • INTJ vs INTP
○ INFJ - • INFJ, advocate for you...
○ ISTP - • ISTP Personality Type ...
○ Design your life with the Eisenhower matrix - • HOW TO DESIGN YOUR LIF...
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I think an important aspect to look at that for INTJ's, it may not have a single thing to do with, "Fear of not being accepted" - most of the time we don't care about other's opinions, but we can be our own biggest critics and before we give ourselves a chance to be seen by anyone else have already scrutinised or own products and made the decision it isn't where we want it to be even though others may think our technical abilities are great. I've had that problem A LOT. It's hard to accept compliments from general public because I am looking to increase my skills and am CRAVING constructive criticism because I don't know what I don't know and need a different perspective to continue to catch blind spots, but the only criticism that I'm getting is, "Oh wow, that looks/tastes/is great!". It doesn't fit my criteria as great and I don't know what to change to achieve my version of great... and it's frustrating. I have completely given up on art and music because I caught myself doing the same thing... over and over and over again, trying to achieve my desired outcome, and receive nothing outside of what comes off as platitudes on opinions that I care about. It's frustrating especially when you run into teachers and professionals who continue to give you sound like they're stroking my ego.
I am the same way. It's like I have "perfected" the theory in my head so that every version of it that makes it to the world is a failure and I hate to fail. I especially hate to fail in front of someone else. So it leads to a loss of momentum. So frustrating.
Interesting, as an ENFP, I’m totally opposite, I’m ready to share the rough draft and go from there. I’m never seeking perfection, just wanting to quickly implement an idea. I see your dilemma though, wanting to get honest feedback, I think you should just say “a friend of mine did this painting, I’m not sure I like it!, what do you think? Yeah, it’s deceptive but not malicious. Or ask an ENFP, we enjoy making fun of ourselves and others, so perhaps you could get a more honest assessment of your art or music. My advice is to see painting and music not as the end product but as a process. As a painter myself, I recommend developing a dual approach to creating. For example, I divide the canvas with four lines, starting at the top and proceeding down to the bottom in a random way, intertwining. that’s a starting point and then it can go anywhere from there figurative or abstract but there is coherence to my work that way, it’s almost “process” art, and then I have one-of paintings where I have no formula. To develop spontaneity, instead of starting a painting with a fixed idea just try expressive brushstrokes, or go wild. I do this and if It’s lovely, then I keep it, otherwise I cover over and start the four line painting. It’s a basic strategy that frees you up. As far as whether your art is “good”, I would consider the purpose of creating art. If it’s a way to process your thoughts, and or it’s meditative then that is the purpose alone and getting lost in that way you will find your way in the creative space. Make something you like to look at. Recently I go to thrift stores and buy crappy mass-produced paintings and rescue (paint over) them. Sometimes I keep part of the original composition, but I mostly use it as a cheap frame and canvas. Golden is my favorite brand in bulk for gesso and black gesso. Good luck! Also you might look into 3-string guitars. They’re hella fun to play and you can play power chords with one finger across all three strings as you move up the frets. Basically, you can improve through experimentation, by questioning your ideal, getting feedback. but if it’s your inner vision that you are trying to catch, that’s really every painters dilemma. I’m never “finished” with a painting, never satisfied. But if you can stare at it for weeks, and not want to destroy it, then your on the path. Also leaving a painting and rework later is good advice. I usually have 10-12 paintings unfinished, and I rotate to which ever one inspires me. Some never do. Some canvases are cursed. If you take a linear approach, one at a time, you risk the “cursed canvas” syndrome… and it can stop your interest….
This.
I used to post art online thinking I could do custom art requests and I would have this collaborative effort with requesters to improve a piece. Instead, I got nothing but, "This is great! I love it, thanks!" and it was a huge waste of time because I feel they weren't interested in improving the piece and just wanted free work.
It feels imbalanced because I give feedback that actually pinpoints issues but when I try to rely on friends, they're virtually useless because they tend to be emotional and the more "logical" types only focus on common sense advice.
I'm basically tired at this point and just create and try for myself.
If this isn't describing my current problem with putting my creativity out there, idk what will.
It seems like INTJs are such natural coaches/teachers and they're waiting for someone to coach them back. It seems like all the types are craving someone with their same gifts to come into their lives. It's like we're all missing ourselves.
Your Ni analogies are the best I've heard! Going through life with Ni like "a drive you can't remember doing" is sooo relatable. I often feel really disconnected and weirded out by my mind because of this, so it's nice to see that I'm not alone :)
Intjs after reaching 18 as they develop their Fi,
*beat theirselves for having emotions
Or maybe just me
Then you try to forgive yourself for having be so hard on yourself even if it was during 10 minutes ( sorry for my bad english)
I've definitely done that before! And that makes the emotions I was having 10x worse! lol
The worst person who tells you your truths and criticizes you all the time for having feelings, I am myself. (Sorry if it's misspelled. I don't speak english)
I just reached that phase when I was 16 years and now I am 18 years old.... 🙂
this is now happening to me and my realtionship is like a fast track
INTJ here.
When I was a kid, I never used to understand happy tears/crying at movies. As soon as I reached about 17-18, all that changed (Fi began to develop), and I'm so glad it did - I'm now on a journey to become an actor and playwright, because this media is able to move me in the way most people never could. Whoever says INTJs lack passion and creativity may have _met_ an INTJ, but they've clearly never _known_ one.
The "unproductive critic" really is a great description of how I felt in college last year. I was studying law and it felt way too restrictive; there was no room for debate or imagination. It defied my expectations. It didn't allow me to be the Elle Woods character, like I had imagined. In my country (as I'm sure is true for most), the legal system is filled with corrupt, nasty, money-grabbing, self-interested, unjust individuals. My feelings were hurt, and I didn't want to do the work. I became lazy, depressed and I felt worthless. I quit that course a month after I came to this conclusion. I had tried to force myself to continue but it just wasn't working. I'm so proud of myself for making the change. It was terrifying, but simultaneously exhilarating.
When I feel depressed, I often turn to Se with food and alcohol. When anxious, I fidget a lot. I've learned to manage stress by going for long walks and exercising in a healthy and controlled mindset and environment. I find walking in nature can really inspire me creatively, and I'm getting into better shape too. I used to sit inside the house all day, cooped up in my own head, to the extent that I didn't feel the need to leave the house because there was so much I was busying myself with internally. I didn't even notice that my environment never changed. I still struggle a lot with personal hygiene, but I'm dead-set on fixing this.
You've really assisted me today. You've brought my attention to things I never knew about myself. Thank you.
Same what u said about the Se Function
Same. Around 18, i was suddenly having powerful and emotional connections to films and music. My taste became even more particular.
Ouch, that last segment hit me very hard. I'm wasting my life, I already wasted my youth, my teen years because of fear. Fear of failure, fear of judgement. It kills me to know that I let down so many people. There were so high expectations of me after high school. The teachers, my family, everyone thought I would succed in life and instead I'm just here blaming myself for not being able to do that, watching TH-cam videos and Netflix all day. I don't feel capable of stepping out of this comfort zone, I'm only doing things I know I can do right, because I can't accept not being good at something, I can't accept failure. But you're right, if you manage to do that, that's real freedom.
The Paradox of Choice, DIAvs89
Once upon a When people spent many hours just
trying to survive and reproduce. After survival and reproduction then what Ne-xt?
Light a candle in the darkness for others, yes and finding meaning and purpose is not so easy when the choices are so many and the tower of babel is so loud.
Have you listened to Malcolm Gladwell?
“the tallest oak in the forest is the tallest not just because it grew from the hardiest acorn; it is the tallest also because no other trees blocked its sunlight, the soil around it was deep and rich, no rabbit chewed through its bark as a sapling, and no lumberjack cut it down before it matured. We”
― Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success
Thanks!
Thanks!
keep the grind queen
OMG, THIS IS SO TRUE!!! when i was a little bit younger i used to despise emotions and be more rational, but i was only like this bc i wasn’t very mature. so, i grew up and then i realized how important emotions actually are for our society, and that in fact we need a balance between feeling and thinking, not only thinking as i used to believe
(sorry for my english, i’m not a native speaker :/)
I've been questioning if I'm an INTJ the past few days, but your videos have been reaffirming my belief that I am one. Some reasons I was confused (and why I'm not now):
- INTJ's are always presented as very put together, but my space is a mess and I don't care that much (Se grip)
- I don't feel very productive, I spend a lot of time consuming content and not much else (Se grip)
- I don't make very specific plans - that is a complete lie, I just didn't realize how much I was doing it since I don't make them actionable/take action (Ni/Fi loop and Se grip)
- I feel like I have Fe sometimes, I tend to offer my time to listen to other people talk about their emotions and I was good enough at helping people that I nearly went to school to be a clinical psychologist (I definitely have Te though, I love useable information and optimizing systems - ended up with a degree in computer science)
- I don't relate with most INTJ's I see in TH-cam comment sections or on Reddit, I don't see my flaws as strengths like they do and I see the value in Fe (probably because of my ESFJ sister and INFJ best friend)
- I don't relate to most INTJ's I see in TH-cam videos that act like they have it all figured out and don't talk about their bad days (I do relate to you though, so thank you for talking about the less healthy behavior we can exhibit)
I'm so glad you related to the video! It took me a long time to finally settle on INTJ.
Hello from the Philippines.
Me too. I'm still in the process of confirming (researching/testing) if I really am an INTJ.. been reading all stuffs for "I" types including S types! to see if i can work on from eliminating what type I am not. It always ends up with intj, but im still not that 100% convinced.. no, not that I'm not convinced. Maybe i just need to really find out my purpose, my impact to the world or environment where I belong.
I developed my Te when i started working in Tech and until today i really feel fulfilled using my Te in my workplace. But aside from my professional work, I have this "personal" endeavor that's inclined to producing arts, my works are not that artistic tho, maybe cos I'm not like the ISFPs and INFPs but i love doing my arts in the form of something "usable" to people (I design graphic shirts). But more to that, I employ certain themes on my collections which I envision to help a certain community or niche in "intentionally" living to their chosen passion. So on that note, i think I'm using my Te and Fi, but my arts are really not that artistic, so maybe fee people find an impact on it or appreciates it. I'm still on that point where I'm trying to figure it out (just like you when you though you want to make your wall black and improve the microphone and video 😂, so relatable dear!)
THANK YOU so much as your videos, i mean YOU are helping us a lot.
@@catsonbikes8372 Thank you so much!!!
Just because you often listen to others feelings doesn't mean you have Fe, it means you have feelings, and it means that you care about other's feelings at an individual level
@@mocanasuciprian3472 I know, that's why I still think I'm an INTJ. I was just noticing I regularly exhibit behaviors that are stereotypical of an Fe user. Like I've legitimately had strangers tell me they told me more than they tell there therapist, which is such an INFJ stereotype. On top of that it seems like being an asshole that doesn't care about other people or generally hates other people is an INTJ stereotype, and that's not how I feel at all.
For a long time, I questioned whether I was an INTJ. Largely because I felt like I lacked direction for my life. Everyone says INTJs are smart, have grand plans and goals for their lives, and they take action instead of procrastinating. I was stuck in a depression loop which convinced me I had mistyped and was an INTP. I only wanted to read and watch YT but couldn't get myself to implement anything.
I got a new job which forced me into my Te more and led me to start working out and taking walks Se and man I feel amazing, fulfilled and more purposeful.
Until watching this video i couldn't put it into words, I didn't know I was optimising my functions. 💡 light bulb moment
I've noticed I do love withdrawing into my Fi but when I draw it out too long, it's easy to slip back into feeling moody, unproductive and depressed. So whenever I have too much time on my hands, activating my Se helps keep my spirits up. Thank you for explaining things so well.
Oh sh, your situation is exactly like mine...
Same
I agree with you 100% my friend. My son believes that I'm an extrovert but the truth is that I'm more so of an introvert. Over time I've had to learn to be an extrovert because of my work and that's what he's noticing. I still grapple with the freedom that extroverts feel as opposed to the Comfort that introversion gives me.
I've watched quite a few "are you really an intj" videos and still wasn't sure. After yours, not only I related almost entirely to what you said, but also gained some insights to how to practically get better to the things I'm lacking the most (Te, Se: staying in the present and perfecting Te). Thank you for the video! Continue the good job! :)
Thank you!!!
My father is an INTJ and a mathematician. He doesn't have the need to talk about his thoughts with anyone outside of his work necessarily because he has found his niche in maths and his community is maths and everything else is something he just tolerates. This has become all the more clear when he had a stroke and couldn't continue with his work sadly. He still kept up with staying busy but it was very obvious that it bothered him that he could no longer be involved in his math projects like he had been for 60+ years and his ability to respond to people when they talked to him faded away. He can still talk clearly he just had no motivation to respond to outside stimulus especially when people talked to him. Before the stroke he could follow a conversation for awhile but then there was a cut off point where he would obviously drift off and sometimes he would just get up and leave the room without warning to write down something in his office like on his chalk board about a math problem/theorem he had been working on. What also became obvious after his stroke is how he no longer recognized how to do every day routine stuff like putting on his shoes. He had always been reliant on my mother for a lot of the basics in life but now even more so as he seems to sit and think that everything happens by magic lol... thanks to my mom.
12:00 This is very true. As an INTJ its hard to find people who want to talk about things you're also interested in. But not all hope is lost. As an engineer, I've found that I heavily relate with people in STEM and that I can't connect with people who aren't. So for other INTJ's out there, this might be a career path you might want to consider taking. Generally speaking, people in STEM love new ideas that can progress individuals or society, love talking in systems, love talking in data, love talking in terms of science and improvement, and love talking about trends or things happening that are under the surface of the public consciousness - basically what's next, and love talking vertically or going very deep into 1 subject.
This is very comforting to hear. As an INTJ, I'm considering going into IT. I don't have any education, so I don't know how it'll go, but I like computers and will probably teach myself and maybe start from the bottom.
Working on my extraverted thinking right now. This is the message I get a lot, "you have a lot of potential but not using it". Thanks for the video.
I'm an INFP dude and I dated an INTJ woman. We're both MBTI nerds, so when we discovered our respective types, it made us want to pursue things even more. An INFP male is very rare. An INTJ female, also very rare. The likelihood of the pairing, exceedingly rare.
She was very interesting and our conversations were next level. She was also funny AF, with a himor style that didn't shy away from the transgressive or dark. Honestly, she made me laugh.
I hadn't looked at her cognitive functions, so I wasn't expecting this person who said she loved logic so much to have a rich emotional side. But one day, I was holding her and "What's this? Well, it's Fi. I did not expect encounter you here." She cried and let me hold her some more. I kept it between us and didn't bring it up. She was a successful tech manager with a tough persona. But I got to see another side to her.
I love the advice you gave for Intj's at the end of the video, both practical and helpful!
Thank you!!
This was an amazing video! Everything this fellow INTJ needed to here. Thank you!
Never have I ever heard a video that I resonate with so much. I mean, there's been multiple MBTI videos of different types with what I went "That's relatable, sounds like me", feeling quite giddy with some of the findings, but never for the whole picture. I was always projecting my idea of "who I was supposed to be" into these other types, thus one major point for a type would over rule the lesser ones that indicated otherwise. Thank you so much for getting the hang of your Te and showing your findings to us.
Your description of Ni is spot on! I’ve likened it to watching the real world through a HUD that’s giving me data and translating what I’m seeing, and sometimes reality sort of “fades away” and I become nearly entirely focused on the interpretation of the data I’m taking in rather than the data itself.
You are a fabulous teacher! I can listen to you all day.
I'm so glad and relieved that there is actually another analogy that can be pointed out in understanding about those functions. Hats off to you, Alex~
Really phenomenal job. I watch hundreds of videos and you have a special approach and superior ability to communicate in a way that resonates.
INTJ 8w7
Wow, I never really understood cognitive functions, and for many years actually mistyped as an INFP. I had no idea why, but I could never fully relate to the INFP. There were mostly superficial similarities. Recently, got typed as an INTJ, was trying to figure it out. When you were explaining how Fi presents negatively in an INTJ, it made soooo much sense. Fi has always presented really negatively in my life, made me lazy and moody and sensitive, with almost none of the strengths. Combined with underdeveloped Ti, everything you said here makes sense.
Seriously relatable content. I not only appreciate the explanations of what each function does, but also the advice on how to improve. I was stuck trying to figure out where I’m going wrong…now I know! Definitely going to implement…not just think about it.
i can relate to a lot of what was said about life experiences. But really i just have to comment on how insightful, well organized and informative your videos are and this one in particular. Its like a class with the timestamps and the notes.
Alexis, you get an A+.
You're really the best MBTI TH-camr I've come across; not only did you help me actually understand how functions work, but a lot of your insight shed light on behaviors and attitudes I hadn't realized were holding me back, and your advise to develop my Te more is very motivating for me to grow and get out of my rut. I really needed this. Thank you!
You are doing amazing work, getting the real truth out there about INTJs - the good, the bad, the helpful, and the chronically underrepresented and misunderstood. Thank you.
What a great way to finish 2021. I made notes all through the video, noticing my weaknesses, and my accepting my strengths. Some of the things that I overcame and made me confident were things I did to come out of the Fi. That, was my biggest weakness. I am now more confident, but still working on it. Now I know exactly how to put it in words. Thank you for making such an amazing video, Alexis. What a day it has been, 31 December 2021 - gave me one of my biggest realizations/learnings. What else could I've asked for. 2022... here I come!!
MAAAAN! I stay "in the ocean" so much that it feels like my life happens without me. I am so focused on my inner dialog that everything outside of me just goes blank. The worst part is that it is so natural that I don't know its happening so I go long stretches, months, years, without progress. It's like I am listening to the music to my favorite song, and it's wonderful, but it's only the music. When I hear videos like yours, it's like I'm reading the lyrics, and it is so much better. Thank you. Keep going Alexis. We need more like you!
You are doing great! Thanks for presenting your improvement efforts with Te and Se. It is true that most of the time idealization is far from reality. Your approach is humble and honest! Very difficult others perceptions but as you demonstrate so useful.
Hi Alexis, I took a brain test in college and it said I was a rare human who uses left and right side 50/50. It said I may have a hard time making decisions because my process is so balanced, not tempted to go with brain over heart or vice versa. Perhaps that’s why us INTJs have analysts paralysis. I’m getting so much from your channel and it’s inspiring me how much you’re using your skills to help the world!
What a GREAT video. So appreciate your breakdown of the INTJ.
I only discovered MBTI about 6 years ago.
I always believed the way I am was due to my Military Submarine Service and the professionals who trained me right after High School. Very mission orientated and protective of my tribe. Lifelong learner. Now a retired Banking software development project manager and living in the Canary Islands.
I always liked the " What people think of you is none of your business".
Thank you for your wonderful input and knowledge.👍
I'm still trying to find out my type but I relate. When I was a teenager I was always working on projects with people and I valued the criticism I got for my work a lot. It wasn't until I started playing heavily with Fi at 17 that I lost that motivation. I don't pay attention to Fi most of the time, It feels good to do it once in a while, but in quarentine I felt like I was reevaluating my life, values and goals nonstop. It's like everything else just didn't matter anymore.
Video couldn't be more accurate? I feel like you're exposing me 🤣 extroverts have a much easier time it sounds like! I've done everything you said word for word. Keep up the great work.
😂I love a good exposing
I am in my 40s now and you have described my journey. This video is also motivational and your last words took path to my heart directly.
This channel is a hidden gem. Such insight, much advice, wow. But really though it's refreshing and helpful. I've been doing the whole loop thing for a few months now, getting back into Te land is going to be good for me.
Thank you so much!
Agree with your video. We certainly need to work on our Se. For me, I try to take some sort of action, however small. It helps a great deal and it gets better. Try to stop procrastinating and take at least baby actions. It's good to face the present challenges rather than bury your head in the sand. We can do it. Be grateful for the challenges demanding attention as they great opportunities to practice our Se
👏
Wow, it's the best explanation of the INTJ I've heard! Thank you for that!
Very helpful & understandable video. I'm a 66 year old INTJ who is still learning about myself & where I fit in this world. Thanks for sharing.
I've seen several videos about INTJ, but this one is by far the most clear and easy to understand pearl.
You make me smile. INTJ here. First got introduced to you through your recent video with LiJo. Happy for the partnership so I could get to know you.
Great food for thought on ways for more personal growth. You have a lot going for you on your channel. Kudos and good luck. Will be watching you more!😎
Thanks for stopping by!! Glad to have you :)
One of the best videos I've seen! Thank you. One of my ways of gaining energy is thru a consistent and progressive exercise program.
Thank you very much on this video
I finally understand
I had trouble typing myself as tests kept typing me as ENTJ, and my enneagram 8w7 also didn't help since it was unusual enneagram for INTJ, but my results there are consistent and 8w7 description literally describes me to the teeth.
I used to be an introvert just like all other INTJs. However in the pursue of my goals I realized that I can't achieve anything alone. The power is one's ability to impose his own will upon others, after all. I knew I had to change, be more social, outgoing, at first I felt awkward, because it was out of my comfort zone, but with time, you just kinda get comfortable with it, today I feel comfortable even talking with strangers, I learned to speak up and explain my ideas, to trust and not to trust people, what mostly kept me going is the strive for success in life. Because I stepped out of my comfort zone, I unconsciously utilized Te or extraverted thinking, to the point where it became as strong as my dominant function.
The reason I'm mistyped as ENTJ is because ENTJ and ESTJ are the only two Te dominant types, and since my Ni was still very high tests that took into a count only dominant function, just typed me as ENTJ.
Mistypeinvestigator test and your video opened my eyes and helped me finally realize that I'm *not* ENTJ, mistypeinvestigator has a different way of calculating, they also calculated I'm Te dominant with really high Ni, however they took into a count all 4 of the functions, and my highest score was for INTJ and ENTJ after INTJ
In conclusion :
I'm INTJ 8w7 that has overcome the weaknesses of my own type.
I guess, while I maybe appear to some as an ENTJ, at the end of the day, deep inside, I'm still INTJ
I am an INTJ. You really touched me on min 25. I had the same issues as you, and I believe that showing my stuff to the world really helps me to feel better. Appreciate your explanation on Te.
And I think ur vids are amazing. Love them. ❤️
I’ve been in a Ni-Fi loop for so long. I can see it clearly now. This video helped A LOT. I wasn’t even sure about my type some hours ago but now I’m pretty sure. Thank you. Gonna use the Te and Se more.
Alexis you give us some.very useful advice! Very solid INTJ tips here
Thank you!!
i love how eloquent you are
Very nice video! Thanks! You look like a very pleasant person :) ~ INFJ
37 year old female INTJ, highschool science teacher here. You're 100% correct to start with Te, then add in some Se for energy and mood. What I think you will find is that you need to start valuing your Fi more. You may associate it with negative things now, but in my experience, it has to be developed into an asset if you want satisfaction. Also:. This is a great video. Love your analogies... especially the potential / kinetic energy comparison with introvertion / extroversion.
Awesome presentation I just adore the way you have explained and put it together is just simply ---WoW~💕💕
Love your personality 😎🌺🏵️
First video of yours I’m watching and I’ve never hear someone talk about me so accurately.
I typed an INTJ, but was very close to ISTJ. I watched dozens of videos of differences between two, but your videos were more appealing with good examples, so I guess I am an ISTJ.
I enjoyed this video. I think Fi trips me up more than anything. I seem to have landed in a family which emphasized Se since most of the family had Se for Dom or Aux. So for me, it's just being aware of Se to keep Ni balanced. Te and Fi are a different story. I've gotten better with Te, I can see the growth. However, Fi was ignored until it was a problem. Now, I'm looking to regularly work on it and balance it with Te.
Thanks for sharing!
12:04 So true! I have so few points of interest in common with others that I can only seem to be obsessed with 2-3 subjects which, unfortunately, are often Rated R. 🤣
It distorts people's perception of me and it's not uncommon for people to be surprised to learn important things about me when we've been together for 10 years!
I'm happy for you that your channel is working. It's been on my mind for a while, that a TH-cam channel oriented to my favorite subjects would be a good valve for me and my friends who do their best! 😂
Awesome video!
Keep doing videos it's awesome very very helpful seriously💖💖💖💖
thank you for this video. literally heavily related to everything, because i rarely could relate to all stuff that people write about INTJs online and it left me confused most of the time. but your video kinda helped me settle all the previous information i've read and rethink it with your help. i also heavily related to Fi as a "devil" on your shoulder, bc i think im in Ni/Fi loop lol.
I have never understood the separate functions until now. AMEN. THANKS
I love your videos, especially your ability to explain how you are applying your functions in reality and honesty about struggles. The book you mention about the courage to be disliked…interesting that it helps you get out of Fi, how about for Fe and going along with the crowd…and fomo?
This video is amazing Alexis, thank you so much! Top search results often explain INTJ's in a very stereotypical way but this gives a really good insight into the struggles that an INTJ can face. I have been feeding my introverted intuition with books and all kinds of stuff for years and made plans for my career which I thought were the perfect masterplan but when I finished my studies and got confronted with the "real" world it hit me really hard.
Something that I would like to understand yet better would be, how an INTJ becomes "unhealthy". So basically what are the reasons an INTJ starts to use fi more and gets caught up in an introverted loop.
Thank you so much for using your extroverted functions and creating this video : ) really needed it, because my Fi has been getting in my head lately. And it's also definitely the best video on INTJs I've seen - the way most of the other ones depict us as emotionless and robotic is really confusing. By the way, I've listened to that book at least 8 times hahah (it's on youtube if anyone needs it)
Most of information I was looking for I found them here, thanks a lot
That Te growth part really hit me damn
Solid video, thought your function descriptions were really well done.
I think I am in a bit of a depressed rut like you describe, but I don't think is has to do with fear of being disliked. It's more of a nihilistic/hedonistic thing where I've burnt out and become pessimistic of what was my Ni vision. I used to be very Te like you encourage being but I found that after meeting many goals, the end result is frequently not enough to justify all the time and energy I spent getting there.
yeah that achieving goals and not being content is a real issue! I relate to that issue a lot. I made a video on it a while back: Reached My Goal But Not Happy, Now What? th-cam.com/video/jCX3-3DKv8E/w-d-xo.html
Really great video, now I have to watch the intp vid 😅
This was so helpful, thank you!
Everything you said resonated with me!! It's like I found my long lost twin!
You are original, and authentic
Thank you so much!!
I felt under attack in this video. I feel like I'm not doing enough, and it's sad to think that all of this information I've learned I haven't put it to use. I took no offense, of course, but it's a reality check from your explanation of how my Fi isn't exactly helping. Great video, thank you.
Your video is very helpful.
I was a bit confused because I enjoy using Te but I am constantly exhausted and I thought that maybe it wasn't my auxiliary function. But now it actually makes sense.
It feels like I use functions one by one and I just go from an extreme to another. I can be really productive or just lazy.
So I need to engage all the functions to get better.
The stereotypes don't help. I even thought I'm an Fi dominant.
This is probably the most comprehensible explenation of cognitive functions regarding this topic I've heard so far. "I'm an ISFP" (*ugh*) and even I could understand this :)
Thanks for putting words to this 👍😊
Spot on observation about how Ni is so rare and how so few people want to take a deep dive into the "Ni Pool". I have observed that INTJs are more assertive than INFJs in trying to get people to engage in Ni topics.
I wish I would have researched my personality way before high school. Finally I found someone to speak about what is mostly going in my mind. I had few little doubts about being INTJ, but you helped me a lot
Just got to the part of wasted potencial... Yea, you would slap me in the face I guess and I deserve it. I need to change a lot
Thank you for this Alexis this was video great. I really like you and your channel
Thank you!!
I just realy needed to hear this right now. Very unproductive mopy INTJ atm, it indeed feels like being a teenager again. I'm in my thirties and somehow seemd to have grow out of that stage but now i'm back at it and this gives me so much insight in why and how to activly get out of it.
Love your video’s, good job
Thank you!
I am an INTJ-A Thanks for passing on your observations an understanding. I enjoyed very much. Just as a side note, I don't know what two parts of my type are osculating: oh, she is so beautiful, oh I should listen and learn. :)
Introverted feeling in my opinion is knowing the path or plan you’re on is compatible with your ideals. So the moping around may be finding what matters to you. And Te is planning to make it happen. So some moping probably is beneficial, just like you say, not stuck in that loop. As an ENFP, I use Fi a lot. And my “bad loop” is extraverted intuition and extraverted thinking. It’s constantly coming up with plans and not getting anything done. But from those plans, I can talk to an INTJ and choose the best one. Conversely, the ENFP manic need to act, immediately on plans that feel right can be an engine for an INTJ. But then again our obsession can lead to outbursts, when the plan is put on hold. We tend to act before we plan, assuming we can correct as we go. But having a strategic INTJ and enthusiastic help ENFP seems like a good combo. And ENFPs love to discuss ideas. I find INTJ’s intellectually stimulating, and often aligned with my ideas/ideals.
INFP here and I love your videos. Sorry about negative feedback- I’m surprised, I think you present things so clearly and consistently. Refreshing to watch videos from an INTJ - normally this is an Fi and Ne field - and maybe a little scattered in presentation.
DAMM! I feel like you're reading my mail in this video.
thank you for this, very informative
It's easier for me to swallow constructive criticism if it helps me grow. The negative feedback thing is pretty relatable tbh.
This video hit hard, esp at the end. Have felt judged since elementary, everything I did was looked down on by my peers. Feeling sloth like a lot lately and have really been trying to figure out what it is I actually do want. Time gets away from me easily and I tend to make excuses generally about being a mom and how much energy and effort that takes, I fail to get other things done frequently and distract myself from trying to figure out where I really want to go in life. Also, kind of relieved to hear another INTJ female speak on some of the harder days, not showering as frequently as most people would consider normal, etc. Feels a lot less alone.
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I feel like I have to get mentally prepared to get things done. The trouble with that is things don't always go as planned. Then it's easy to get side tracked. I try not to make my to do list overwhelming. The answer seems to be to keep it simple, which isn't always easy for us.
This proves me to be more of an INTJ. Epic.
Haha 🤣 I’m having “kidney pain” or what I intuitively think is my kidneys hurting... I’ll try the water thing. If I think about it, I drink coffee twice a day and water 2x a week. Unless I’m working out I forget to drink water... ima try the water thing 😂 I am also obsessed with self-development and I have been lucky enough to share that with others... people come back and tell me something I said inspired them to... pretty cool to hear. Also hurts my heart when peoples potential is not being met.
Balancing the heart and the brain 😂😂mannn so true, I am super emotional and a cry baby but my judgements and decisions are never clouded by such emotions 😂
I think and INTJ will not be passionate to be identified as an INTJ more than the desire to be understood by the rest of the people, he doesn't truly feel special or better than the rest, he just wants to be understood by others. He will be glad if the rest of the people understand that what he wants to achieve is for the best for everyone. I think a true great INTJ doesn't care too much to be an INTJ, he or she had a feeling and an assurance that he or she was called more for a higher purpose, something that can feel like a divine purpose, he or she knows that can and will achieve a transcends that will change the human kid and more.
INTJ when having an argument in a relationship will understand this: My words are not to intentionally offending you, I'm trying to describe the best that I can the reason why we have a problem and how to fix it. Most people think that you are offending them, and this drives you crazy because it doesn't make any sense to you why they get offended.
I was really confused if I am a INTJ or not when people were portraying INTJ's as a dark, emotionless person in comedy skits.
Thank you for clarifying my doubt!!
INFJ here, I'm only 14 minutes in so far but I've just got to say that you do a wonderful job explaining both the functions and the MBTI type system to where anyone can get it.
Also, not knowing how you got home... I've mentioned that in the past to many people and I came to the realization that most people must not do that. 😂 Which I guess makes sense since sensors and extroverts are more common I believe.
I just sounded like a crazy person to these poor people. I couldn't just explain to them that my Se is unconsciously taking in the outerworld while I drive around not focusing on anything. I have never almost been in an accident while doing this. I think actually drive better during these times even! 😂 Whenever there is something that needs my attention it's like a switch is flipped. I can use Se very well when I need to, but it only works when it wants to, which usually means in dangerous situations.
I relate to this so much thank you.
That woo woo side
I find that building my body can give me confidence. It's not about the aesthetic per se; I, in fact, feel stronger, bigger, which makes me be *more*, literally.
Te is a growth point but the problem is finding the way. You can find the way by trail blazing and brute forcing but the reality is that those are not often good alternatives. In many environments there are better improvisers and experiementers than you as a low Se and Ne user. I often see myself as a last resort kind of person - like a wild card for situations where no one takes the lead. I'm the last choice.
The problem with INTJs (and their lack of energy) is that there are few roles that we can do which makes us have less 'lines' in the play of life. Energy (unless there is an autonomic problem or some sort of depressive issue) comes from purpose and protagonism. If you position yourself in a way as to fill your quota then you may become energized that way. Another issue with energy can lie on sedentarism. Your muscles atrophie by lack of movement which makes all sort of movement inverse proportionally harder; your heart rate, lung capacity, muscle memory, etc, they all require usage to not lose their edge or to expand their capacity. If you don't play with your body it becomes unhealthy. Whatever the reason INTJs are not natural apt to move they should. I think INTJs get bored easier. People often say Se is a function that is only later developed (and it is) but I for one was a very obsessive soccer player from very young and I was a spaz but as I started loosing my eyesight and wearing glasses I lost interest as well. We INTJs get drunk in tragedy and melancholia. Maybe it coincides that we also undergo more of it but we also pathologically enjoy it. Strangely, I think melancholia drives us as much as it paralyzes us. It makes function in bursts of energy. That overworking is a mix of not wanting to feel guilty and wanting to punish yourself for not being successful - it's also a strategy to not ruminate.
As you may have noticed most INTJs have expert verbal skills. Being a cynic introvert with this skill has very little applications. It's too easy to become toxic and even more in your inner thoughts.
INTJs are a niche type. It's too megalomaniacal of a type to be useful for society.
If I had to guess INTJs naturally dissociate, daydream and retreat to their minds as a product of stress, PTSD and CPTSD.
11:55 right on the money. It's exactly like that. It's a subconscious. Doesn't stop
Wow, 12:30.
Just realized I haven't talked to anyone about something that I want to talk about in years.
They normally just bring up small talk, or some gossip oriented thing which, quickly loses my interest XD
Now I'm thinking of how awesome it would be to discuss my ideas with someone.
This is amazing!!!! I will be saving this and listening regularly!! Can you provide like an actions cheat sheet to find balance? … In each aspect of the of the functions! …Like how to optimize each.
*Introverted vs Extroverted*
- If you're an introvert, become more extroverted, social, outgoing
- If you're an extrovert, give yourself more alone time with your own thoughts
*Sensing vs iNtuition*
- If you're a sensing type, learn to think about the future, to think about the ways a situation could develop, don't rely too much on traditions and seek to change them and find a more efficient way, don't be too realistic and become more imaginative. Learn to see the big picture, it will help you get a general idea of what needs to be done and manage your time better
- If you're an iNtuition type, learn to live more in the present, in "here and now", become aware of your current reality, and what's happening around you at the moment. Consider past experiences especially past faliures, what worked in the past and what didn't work when making a decision, as it will help you make a better decision. Learn to consider small details as well, as they can sometimes be the key to solving a problem
*Thinking vs Feeling*
- If you're a thinking type, learn to understand emotions of others, and consider how your decisions could impact people emotionally, stop being afraid to talk about how you feel and open up emotionally
- If you're a feeler, learn to be more rational and logical, especially at work, don't get too emotional when you face a tough time, instead think it through about how you can logically overcome it
*Judging vs Perceiving*
- If you're a judging type. Learn to make your plans more flexible, it will help you to be more prepared for the unexpected, you don't need a plan for absolutely everything, sometimes you should just enjoy the moment, and do whatever you feel like doing (especially during leisure times)
- If you're a perceiving type, become more organized, learn to plan and use lists sometimes, as it'll help you memorize stuff better and know exactly what you need to do
I hope you find it helpful
Oh the Se deficiency is such a real struggle! And when Fi doesn’t feel like Se-ing, life can be a total train wreck!
I have rejection and abandonment trauma..but because i am an intj i was able to understand its origin and focus
12:00 Havent put into practise for groups of people yet (since its recently gathered knowledge) but to remove all the boringnes of surface talking am planning to ask about their obsesions --> their golden nuggets (of knowledge thru experience), what interests them, what they could talk about long time, that thing that they know well, their interest. Because that could put them in comfortable state where they dig deeper themselfs since they know the topic on the surface too much for them not to dig deeper.
So you say, one is either in the box looking out or out of the box looking in? Wow you explained things so well, I was unsure, but now I know what I am. I thought I might be an INFJ and some tests lead to that conclusion, but others were leading to INTJ, now I know I am most certainly the latter. My problem was that some of the test questions were tettered on the center and I could see my actions going both ways. TY for going that deeply into the subject.