1) You look really upset (Feeling first); 2) Tell me more about it; 3) I am so sorry that this is happening to you; 4) What would you like me to do to help you?; 5) Here is what I would like us to do next…; 6) Thank you so much for sharing your feelings with me, it is really important that we understand each other completely
I'm a first year medical student and we had our first simulated medical interview with simulated patients. I was assigned to was already an angry patient... Dang I was totally unprepared then. Thank you Sir for teaching us
Listening is the key, listening, actually hearing what they are saying and acknowledging them as people that have a right to be upset, then a possible solution. You are so right on. I think the important thing you are saying is that their feelings are important no mater whether we agree with what they are saying or not.
Many would disagree with you AND if the doctor is distracted get them to take a big breath, let go of the busy-ness of this day and be 100% with you for a few minutes. It works frequently.
Lol. Like anything empathetic like this would come out of my Dr. I think I should print this off and send it to him. Can you be my Doc? We're fresh out of the ones with empathy.
How do you get listened to by a doctor, especially when you're not naturally good at verbal communication yourself and your symptoms point to a disease/disorder that's not widely understood/ acknowledged in the medical community?
If you are patient and willing to try new doctors/providers/healers ... even in the most challenging situations ... you will find a doctor or other provider who is empathetic to your situation and will listen and work with you to try to figure things out.
I am tired of asking my doctor for things that are his job and he and his staff NEVER helps me. I am finding not listening, ignoring, not acknowledging or helping patients is now the norm. I just told my doctor I m so tired of his staff I am not calling him or 911 if I have another emergency, it's less stressful and easier to just die at home.
I don't feel that these steps work in every scenario. These verbal responses assume that every patient will want to share what they are upset about. The truth is, a lot of people tend to seethe and have a hostile attitude, but not want to talk about it. There are people that will tell you, "I'm fine", yet continue to behave this way. Mr. Drummond, what would be your response to that scenario?
i Fired a patient because he was very rude he insulted me he told me that I'm not good enough because i didnt give him the answer he was waiting for so i didnt say anything the next day he wanted another appointment like nothing happened he didnt even apologized soo i told him to go and search for another good doctor because im not soo after three months he's back and im literally dont have the mood to see him or speak to him so what should i do its giving me anxiety
If you feel you have to let a patient go/fire them ... hold your boundaries and insist they find another doctor. I believe the relationship between a doctor and patient should be mutually positive ... a "therapeutic relationship". If that can't happen for whatever reason, the most important thing to do is help them find a doctor who is a better match.
Medicine is a science and an art and this idea of standardizing patients in cases is just weird. It kind of takes the fun out of medicine!!! Maybe because Some doctors today are so lack of confidence in themselves that they feel the need to have a formula for everything. They Believe they will be successful if they memorize and categorize patients as cases.... so if you have a case of an "angry patient" say this and ask this questions, if you have a case of a patient with "depression" say this and ask this other questions but what really happens is that you turn into a Robot doctor!!!! you dont even listen anymore you are just waiting to finish your questions on your checklist and move on to the next patient and that is exactly what I don't want to be!!! Maybe its a cultural difference I am from Mexico and this is all very weird to me. Cheers!
If you notice, he mentions listening twice - really hearing your patient is still key to this protocol working. If you don't hear their complaints or their needs, you won't be able to support them genuinely and they will remain upset. Incidentally, I came up with a similar way of responding to upset people all on my own just through experience - acknowledge, listen, validate, support. I actually think his way is more comprehensive and universal - it includes asking what the upset person wants, which mine lacks. By the way, this structure helps for conflict resolution across disciplines - upset students, upset spouses, upset customers. People in general like to feel acknowledged, and people in general get defensive when other people are upset. This is a great "practice" way to get out of feeling defensive and into a more proactive supportive position. Your experience may be different, but sometimes having a roadmap helps build that confidence you think the younger generation lacks. Some people are socially awkward and shut down. Some people have past trauma and abuse which can get triggered. Not everyone will be able to come to this type of understanding of conflict resolution on their own. If you don't have to reinvent the wheel, you can advance more quickly and become more confident. Of course, the more you practice, the less "robotic" this will seem. I'm not saying you're wrong, I am just saying, different experiences create different responses to conflict and sometimes a roadmap is helpful. Just my perspective.
This is an example of a structure for a difficult conversation that people can use to make it their own ... if they want an example. It won't turn you into a robot and it sounds like you feel you don't need it. Fine. Ultimately it is your patients who will make that decision. Right?
I agree with you. Sometimes frustrated patients just come to your office to yell at you, make a scene and leave. Thay don't give you a chance to go through all of these steps. They just want you to feel bad. And also money is a big issue at least.in dentistry. They always feel they paid too much and expect their dental work to last a lifetime
1) You look really upset (Feeling first); 2) Tell me more about it; 3) I am so sorry that this is happening to you; 4) What would you like me to do to help you?; 5) Here is what I would like us to do next…; 6) Thank you so much for sharing your feelings with me, it is really important that we understand each other completely
Yes and yes(4)
I'm a first year medical student and we had our first simulated medical interview with simulated patients. I was assigned to was already an angry patient... Dang I was totally unprepared then. Thank you Sir for teaching us
You are welcome
This is exactly how I talk to my kids! Respectful non-violent communication FTW!
Right on Sara.
Listening is the key, listening, actually hearing what they are saying and acknowledging them as people that have a right to be upset, then a possible solution. You are so right on. I think the important thing you are saying is that their feelings are important no mater whether we agree with what they are saying or not.
People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.
Everyone teaches doctors..no one teaches patients or his relative.. doctor patients relationship is two sided..so patients also should be patient...
Many would disagree with you AND if the doctor is distracted get them to take a big breath, let go of the busy-ness of this day and be 100% with you for a few minutes. It works frequently.
I think this guide is very useful because as a Doctor sometimes it is also an important factor to maintain posture when those situatios come. Thanks!
Glad it was helpful!
This video is extremely useful. Please add more.
Thanks and will do.
great... very helpful in the OET exam..thanks a lot
You are welcome
You are an expert and genius
Wow, thanks Mohammad
this is gold. thanks a lot!!!
You are welcome Tik Tik
More than I’ve been taught about this in medical school
I am sure it is.
thanks! this helps me explaine a close friend how communicate better.
You are welcome
It's great. Love it. So useful. Thanks a lot.
you are welcome
This works beautifully with non borderline personalities...
Borderlines or psychopaths are a whole different proposition.
Thanks..short simple and easy to remember!!!
You're welcome!
thank you very much sir..its very helpfullove this video
You are welcome
LOVE THIS!Thank you!From,A very busy dental practice office manager
Teach it to all your staff.
Excellent. Thank you for providing such a valuable information.
Glad it was helpful!
Thank u for this......God bless u
You are welcome.
Thank you very much
You are welcome
Lol. Like anything empathetic like this would come out of my Dr. I think I should print this off and send it to him.
Can you be my Doc? We're fresh out of the ones with empathy.
You need a new doctor or your doctor maybe needs a break.
Super...Nice clear explainations : I shared it with my sudents .
Great, so glad you found it useful.
Thanks Dr.
Most welcome!
We will also change our body language?like bending forward to show some feelings?
Body language, facial expressions, energy, cadence are all important.
As a patient, may I say, if only.
Just because it is not common does not mean it can't happen.
How do you get listened to by a doctor, especially when you're not naturally good at verbal communication yourself and your symptoms point to a disease/disorder that's not widely understood/ acknowledged in the medical community?
If you are patient and willing to try new doctors/providers/healers ... even in the most challenging situations ... you will find a doctor or other provider who is empathetic to your situation and will listen and work with you to try to figure things out.
I am tired of asking my doctor for things that are his job and he and his staff NEVER helps me. I am finding not listening, ignoring, not acknowledging or helping patients is now the norm. I just told my doctor I m so tired of his staff I am not calling him or 911 if I have another emergency, it's less stressful and easier to just die at home.
Time to get a new doctor.
Unfortunately, there are some docs just do not care!
That is true. Some of them do care and burnout has taken that capacity away and they feel terrible about it.
Can you do a video on bedside manner?
In a bit
Thank you! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
You are welcome.
I don't feel that these steps work in every scenario. These verbal responses assume that every patient will want to share what they are upset about. The truth is, a lot of people tend to seethe and have a hostile attitude, but not want to talk about it. There are people that will tell you, "I'm fine", yet continue to behave this way. Mr. Drummond, what would be your response to that scenario?
Grimmix
usually when someone decides to go to a doctor. .. they are seeking help.. of course we want to talk about it......
Nothing works in every scenario. "It seems you are upset and I can't help if you won't tell me what is really going on."
Excellent! Thank you Dr. Drummond
you are welcome
i Fired a patient because he was very rude he insulted me he told me that I'm not good enough because i didnt give him the answer he was waiting for so i didnt say anything the next day he wanted another appointment like nothing happened he didnt even apologized soo i told him to go and search for another good doctor because im not soo after three months he's back and im literally dont have the mood to see him or speak to him so what should i do its giving me anxiety
If you feel you have to let a patient go/fire them ... hold your boundaries and insist they find another doctor. I believe the relationship between a doctor and patient should be mutually positive ... a "therapeutic relationship". If that can't happen for whatever reason, the most important thing to do is help them find a doctor who is a better match.
thankyou god bless you
Thank you Numa
Don't ever say you look really upset....say you seem upset.
Whatever works for you.
Tried this with my girlfriend, she said she was fine while sounding even more annoyed :/
I would expect so. Watch this: th-cam.com/video/yWcEhtg7W3s/w-d-xo.html
Medicine is a science and an art and this idea of standardizing patients in cases is just weird. It kind of takes the fun out of medicine!!! Maybe because Some doctors today are so lack of confidence in themselves that they feel the need to have a formula for everything. They Believe they will be successful if they memorize and categorize patients as cases.... so if you have a case of an "angry patient" say this and ask this questions, if you have a case of a patient with "depression" say this and ask this other questions but what really happens is that you turn into a Robot doctor!!!! you dont even listen anymore you are just waiting to finish your questions on your checklist and move on to the next patient and that is exactly what I don't want to be!!!
Maybe its a cultural difference I am from Mexico and this is all very weird to me.
Cheers!
If you notice, he mentions listening twice - really hearing your patient is still key to this protocol working. If you don't hear their complaints or their needs, you won't be able to support them genuinely and they will remain upset. Incidentally, I came up with a similar way of responding to upset people all on my own just through experience - acknowledge, listen, validate, support. I actually think his way is more comprehensive and universal - it includes asking what the upset person wants, which mine lacks.
By the way, this structure helps for conflict resolution across disciplines - upset students, upset spouses, upset customers. People in general like to feel acknowledged, and people in general get defensive when other people are upset. This is a great "practice" way to get out of feeling defensive and into a more proactive supportive position. Your experience may be different, but sometimes having a roadmap helps build that confidence you think the younger generation lacks. Some people are socially awkward and shut down. Some people have past trauma and abuse which can get triggered. Not everyone will be able to come to this type of understanding of conflict resolution on their own. If you don't have to reinvent the wheel, you can advance more quickly and become more confident. Of course, the more you practice, the less "robotic" this will seem.
I'm not saying you're wrong, I am just saying, different experiences create different responses to conflict and sometimes a roadmap is helpful.
Just my perspective.
This is an example of a structure for a difficult conversation that people can use to make it their own ... if they want an example. It won't turn you into a robot and it sounds like you feel you don't need it. Fine. Ultimately it is your patients who will make that decision. Right?
well said Elyse.
This is far to general. Each patient is different
+Harvey Levene It gives structure. Without structure and the ability to deal with distressing situation, a doc could easily make a ham of it.
I agree with you. Sometimes frustrated patients just come to your office to yell at you, make a scene and leave. Thay don't give you a chance to go through all of these steps. They just want you to feel bad. And also money is a big issue at least.in dentistry. They always feel they paid too much and expect their dental work to last a lifetime
Harvey Levene - The video is titled 'The Universal Upset Person Protocol', so clearly it will be GENERAL. LOL :-)
Of course it is general so it can be adapted to your situation.
Agreed Sam