Wife walked out a few weeks ago after 24 years together. As I sit here and type, alone in my large house I can't help but feel totally at ease because there's no one here that hates me. Looking forward to the future as a born again single man!
Never married but girl left after 9 years. About a month ago. It’s a weird feeling alone in the big house but weirdly peaceful and calm. I wish you all the best
The wife told me she hated me right before she left. Two months later, she wants to come back. Her alcoholic boyfriend on dialysis wasn't working out for some strange reason. I told her No. She hates me even more many years later. I don't care.
One of my biggest peeves with women is they are determined to be The Head of the Household…. They have no problem making insulting remarks about what you wear, your hobbies, your old friends, what you want to eat, your family… damn, I’m feel so blessed to not be living in that personal hell anymore.
Women see men as negative in general. That’s the starting point for all men in most women’s minds. And you only ever move out of that spot temporarily and while you are doing what they demand or expect, if they have a reason to notice you at all since they spend most their life noticing the mirror first and foremost, and other women after that.
Sounds like something a man should notice BEFORE he lives with her, no? I've NEVER allowed anything like that, but then again, I've never made it to the altar, either. 🤣🤣
I can soooo relate to this after I got divorced. I bought a boat and parked it in my driveway. One night, I was preparing to go offshore fishing. My son and I decided to make our own fish chum. I took a bunch of old fish out of my freezer and processed it in my kitchen in my food processor. It was a big mess. I laughed and told my son, "This would never happen at a married man's house". I could wake up at 2 AM and go to Walmart. No one questioned me. I just went and bought what I wanted. No approval needed.
You can be at home with ZERO tension in the air.. No woman nagging you, giving you the silent treatment and stomping around the house,”reminding” you of your chores while you are trying to watch the game, turning her back on you in bed after she told you “ don’t even try touching me” because she’s punishing you for something… all in the house that you paid for… another great video John . Thank you!
_...turning her back on you in bed after she told you “don’t even try touching me” because she’s punishing you for something…all in the house that you paid for…_ Not only the house you are paying for. You are also paying her way, supporting her, putting a roof over her head, feeding her, and in general giving her a better lifestyle she would otherwise not be able to afford on her own. You in turn are depriving yourself of having and even better lifestyle because you are paying for her..... and yet, she turns her back on you in the bedroom. Guys, just stay single, enjoy your life, and grow your wealth.
@@JohnJohnCrusher A Man’s Fairy Tail Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, "Will you marry me?" The Princess said, "No!!!"
And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and dated skinny long-legged full-breasted women and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated ladies half his age and drank whiskey, beer, and Captain Morgan and never heard beaching and never paid child support or alimony and dated cheerleaders and kept his house and ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.
The End The Princess? Well her story was a little different. As time went by in her delusional mind and enchanted and privileged world she thought would never end. Her biological clock kept ticking… and ticking. Ticking so loudly you could almost hear it. She kept getting older and older, she started to gain weight, and had developed “crow’s feet” under her eyes. She discovered princes were no longer interested in her anymore because they wanted and could get younger more attractive princesses that had tight aces and didn’t have sagging boobs like hers. They wanted princesses that weren’t so all consuming beaches like her that thought the world revolved around them. Much to her chagrin men were not fawning all over her like she was a beach in heat anymore. So, much to her mortification she actually had to develop a nice personality and at least pretend to be a pleasant person to be around. She had to grudgingly put others before herself. She learned that to even get a prince to look at her or even talk to her, she had to at least make-believe not to be the beach she knew she was and hide that evil, vile, creature living inside of her that was screaming so badly to come out you could almost hear its howling blood curdling scream in the dark of a misty night. Most women are cold, cruel, predatory animals lurking in the shadows and you could just imagine the feel of its heavy, warm, moist breath just inches from the back of your neck. Wanting to come out and seek whom it may sink its already bloody fangs into. Still dripping from the blood of so many past men and into its new victims, so to devour them as she had done so many times, so coldly, and so callously in the past. She now had to be nice to people and pretend she was interested in what they had to say rather than talk about herself. She also discovered people where no longer pretending to be interested in what she had to say. She learned that it’s not all about her, she had to learn to pretend not to be a blood sucking selfish beach that would suck the very life right out of you with no regret or conscious. She now had to work at trying to look pretty. It didn’t come so easy and naturally to her like it had in the past. She was getting old and rapidly approaching the wall and she knows it. Gravity had not been kind her. Things are changing, changing fast, and not for the better. She is beginning to get desperate and these desperate times called for desperate actions. She finally found a prince that took pity on her aging and sagging body and agreed to date her with the understanding he didn’t want to marry her or have children. This selfish, evil, and entitled little beach wanted both and so she hatched an evil, wicked, and vile plan of deceit, deception, and lies she thought would trick the prince into marring her. She lied to him, deceive him, offered liberal six and pretended to like six in hopes of trapping him into her deceitful web of vile lies, despicable treachery, abhorrent deceit, and dishonest six. The promise of love was written on her face. She led him on with untrue kisses. Kisses she only pretended to feel. She held him captive in her false embrace. Sweetness was only heart aches camouflaged. The love he saw in her was just a mirage. Just like the desert shows a thirsty man, green oasis where there’s only sand. She had to ask him to marry her not once, not twice, but many times and he kept refusing. This was quite a change for her to have to be the one asking to get married and even more humiliating, he was rejecting her offer. The prince kept saying no but told her he would be willing to continue to date her and give her a better and fulfilling life she otherwise would not have been able to have attained on her own. All this being precluded by her continued “good behavior”. This wasn’t enough for this selfish little beach. She wanted it all without the requirement of having to earn it or be a nice person to keep it. She wanted to sink her already bloody fangs deeply into his neck and wallet and suck out and take whatever financial freedom he still had left in him and make it her own leaving him nothing. So she hatched an evil fool proof plan to trap him….. or so she thought. Here is her story. The story of lies, deceit, betrayal, and six. The story of the evil, deceitful, lying princess beatch that was never heard from again: The Story on U-.Toob: _How A MGTOW Guy With A Vasectomy Escaped A Gold Digging Hand Bag Basic Chasing All His Assets_
I’ve seen so many kids turn out bad and be disrespectful and arrogant toward their parents. If I could go back in time I’d avoid marriage and kids. I’m 71
I had 8 children so you can share in the average, and, yes, my wife left me too. I now have a motorcycle, which is exhilerating, and before I was married I rode bikes but sold them when she came along.
Time is very important. I refuse to spend any more of my time argueing/debating about my decisions. Married 12 years and she kicked me to the curb. The grass wasn't greener. And 4 years later she wanted to come back. I enjoyed telling her that she made her own choice. Live with it!
@@dannymccarty344 I agree with the other guy. She would "act" great full, thankfull all that at first. But eventually who she really is would return and it would be worse...I'm living it. I ReMarried my ex and things are miserable. Both boys are now graduated and I am very very much considering divorce again. We do not get along, she constantly nags me for things I have, things I worked hard for. She disrespects me and argues me about everything. I don't hate her, that's to strong of a word. But I do not like her, sometimes I think I love her, but I think maybe it's just the fear of restarting overriding my system and trying to retard the divorce in order to not go through a big hard change again.
@@redriders7149Ah the classic love bomb bait and switch! When I filed on my now ex she suddenly became the woman I married 30 years ago, simply amazing! I got smart and did not fall for it. You have to go no contact, otherwise you will be in the friendzone and be used and manipulated.
As a german single dude I can assure that I am completely 100% whole...I mean there is no "missing" part that I am seeking for. After my divorce, a decade ago, I realized that I am free! So free, that I would never give up on that again. My time! My money! My decissions! My life!
ONLY IF you are young enough to start over. My X divorced me at 61 years of age. She wanted to ride the rooster/hen carousel.(bi) Discover all she missed before we married. Spends $$$$$$$$$$$$ like crazy she doesnt have, not my problem when the bills come due. I am financially stable 3 years later, it was a bear. So far as owning a house now, I would like to and have a shop I can putter around and do welding projects and stuff......
When you are single you have so much freedom and married people are secretly very jealous of you. Don't torture yourself thinking that you're lonely.... you are NOT lonely..... you have total wonderful blissful freedom !! 👍🏼😊
Yes but usually it is what it means, that you give up on stupid idéas. And I mean you got to fight to get the most stupid stuff off the table. Like get a dog when your doughter is allergic to dogs. Then you divorce and she gets a dog at once. We are not talking about color of curtains here, even if it is like bad, but there could be the most insane stuff.
@@TheSnookman 💯🎈 was thinking the same... Compromise is actually great for long term companionship but surrendering is one person always getting what they at the expense of the other person
Respect. The divorce was one of the best things to happen to me in my adult life. (Divorced after 27 years - her demand - but it worked out so well for me. Wish I would have done it sooner.)
Totally independent, nobody's judging if you eat over the sink, or fart in bed. Wearing the same thing over and over. Vacation when and where you want. I'm so spoiled. It's great. Thanks for another great video. B
7 years single after 22 yrs of marriage. Life is now amazing! I have great friends, ride motorcycles, play golf. I will never ever deal with that again!!!! Everything you say is Spot On! All my married friends say they would never marry again if they became single. lol
One of my favorite quotes that this talk reminded of is, "If you don't make plans for yourself, then chances are you will fall into someone else's plan, and guess what they will have planned for you? Not much." - Jim Rohn
65, retired,and single! Love it! Meet up with buddies for a beer or coffee whenever we want. Just splurged and bought a Powertec leverage gym, that I could never have done when I was married! In better shape all round then when I was married!
@@gerry742 good luck and good health. We are programmed that leaving our wives is taboo, but it is actually a gift of love not only to her but also to us. Life is too valuable to be unhappy especially in our 60's. It is not a failure...it is an awakening! Congrats!!! Hopefully the Dr will not give you the "long face" for a long time from now.
I struggled with my weight for a long time and my stay at home wife was always too lazy too cook anything and would want to order pizza three times a week. Didn't take long after we got divorced for me to lose 100lbs.
That is on you. You have to vocalize your expectations of your wife if she wants to be "stay at home". I had to tell my wife that I didn't care what she did during the day as long as the house was somewhat tidy and that she had made supper for me when I get home. Her mom and sister freaked out when they heard but f them. They are not involved in my marriage. We were able to work through it. In a marriage two people have expectations of what will take place and it is up to those people how it will work out. Nowadays people really really are bad at communicating. If you can't communicate simple wants and needs between two people who "love" each other then I don't know what to tell you.
I thought I was going to struggle hard with money losing her income but not having to order food 5 days a week because she never cooked, I was actually saving money
Lawn, leaves cleaning kitchen and bathrooms, I do it all myself and I really like it. I look for every opportunity to exercise given how sedentary my job is. I do use a standing desk. I like solitude. I don’t miss women at all
Great list John. I have been "liberated" and I am SO thankful. Every time I feel lonely, I remind myself of the hell I lived in when I was married. I was literally miserable. Thanks for the insight.
I was married for 29 years, 3 kids. The kids are adults, she left just over 14 months ago. I totally agree with everything you’ve said. It’s awesome. Don’t worry about loosing friends, she would have turned them all against you anyway.
After 2 divorces, and many jealous, and manipulative women, I’ve had it, I walked away from all of them. been single for about 2 years now, single is heaven. I jump on my Harley, I go when I want, wherever I want, and with who I want. Life’s good👌. 🏍️💨🔥…🇨🇦✌️😎
Boom, I hope to be living your way soon. So tired of arguing. I want peace quiet and time. I get the blame for everything. No respect and she can't stand the things I have the things I've worked hard for.
I have two women that I see but really just as f-buddies. She comes over we enjoy our time then she leaves. I get the only thing that I enjoy with a woman while maintaining my independence. I could not be happier!
I was just talking to a recently retired neighbor, and asked him how he was liking it. He was lamenting the fact that now he has become the chauffeur and shopping companion for the live-in girlfriend. He had just suffered through a trip for her to shop for shoes. 3 hours of his life that he wil never get back! I nodded in empathy, but was giggling inside because I have escaped that BS. Never forget the little things a single guy is "missing out on"!!
Oh….Jesus H. Christ….I had forgotten all about those insufferable and constant demands to accompany my former wife on her endless expeditions to go shopping. She just had to have me along to keep her company so that my TIME after work was wasted and I got no relaxation at the end of my day. Ugh! I fucking HATED that shit. Was it not ENOUGH that I had to work to PAY for all of the CRAP we didn’t need that she kept dragging home from the stores? 😡
After my divorce . I bought a new motorcycle. A bike is far superior than living with a woman. I can turn the bike on when I like. The bike is always up for a ride and she never says no. The bike shuts the hell up at the turn of a key The bike is such great therapy for me I keep the bike in the garage. Plus the bike is by far cheaper than any woman would be.
All the things I take for granted as a single (never married) 50 year old (with 1 daughter). Sometimes I think “I wish I were married”. But I watch something like this and start to be a bit more appreciative. I never wanted to be “stuck” like my dad was in his marriage. I accomplished that. 😂
@@plasmaarmelund thx. It’s crazy. Men really need to be coached before making marriage decisions. Otherwise you are just ignorant and relying on good fortune in hopes that you picked someone good. I knew I didn’t have the mentorship to pick a good partner when I was in my 20s. It would have been rolling dice with a 90% chance of misery. I did learn from my dad. He was definitely miserable. Good man in that he stuck it out for us. But my motto was always “I don’t want to be stuck like my dad”. I did learn that. However, I think we should also teach young men HOW to pick good women. There are good women out there. But you gotta pick right and you have to know how to navigate the relationship right.
@@croneyr Yes, agreed. God bless your dad. Even a good woman can switch on you down the line. You just never know. The good news is that men are waking up, thanks to online communities and videos like the ones John is creating. The marriage and birth rates are declining, which isn't good for society but maybe it's necessary for some kind of reform or sweeping change because the status quo is clearly not sustainable.
No more mind games, I’ve moved my guitar back into the living room and write music when I feel like it even in the middle of the night. I also spend a couple hours at the gym 5 days a week she didn’t even want me working out at home anymore, I’m no longer looking over my shoulder…
Been divorced for 10 years with full custody. Kids are pretty much grown up now. The first thing I did was hire someone to clean the house every 2 weeks, and someone to mow the lawn. That frees up so much time for me to do what I want and when the kids were younger, it allowed me to spend more quality time with them.
I’ve made many stupid mistakes in my life but I’ve never been married at 62. I’m still learning what my best life looks like but no one will ever tell me what to do.
Hi John, this is one of your best. I resonate with all 12 points. I’d add selecting what to be angry about. So many times, you get dragged to problems not of your own making. The petty squabbles regarding her friends that you get drawn into and wo betide if you take the other person’s side. Home decorating. That’s a huge bone of contention to the point where we couldn’t agree and the rooms just stagnated. I tend not to outsource much ( only complex plumbing and electrical work) because I love learning DIY. Smoking ban. I love an occasional cigar, pipe, cigarette or weed. I now have a smoking room. Crazy trips. I’ve always loved adventure. Solo backpacking, desert hiking, stealth camping. None of that is possible while hitched.
@ i hear you. It’s draining. This is then usually followed by “ how come you haven’t done ( x, y, z) yet?” Answer, “ because I just spent a day listening to your shite”.
I'm 3 years free and the getting angry thing hits home. In 23 years I don't know how many times I heard, " Why aren't you angry?, You should be more angry" or any combination of that. A week before I told her we were getting a divorce she started it again. I told her. "I don't get angry because you have enough anger for 10 people" Shit hit the fan and she went off. I walked away laughing and said, "See 10 people" That next week I found out she was cheating with a co-worker and kicked her out. They are still together 3 years later and my granddaughter says he's miserable. Thanks Dave for taking out my garbage, you deserve her. LOL
@@RR-bh8vd sorry to hear you had to go through before you found nirvana. It’s only when you look back after the events that you realize how much misery they cause. While you’re in it, you tend to go into survival mode. I’ve always strived to have a stoic demeanour and tend to laugh off drama, but there comes a time when you do crack, pack your bags and leave or tell her to leave. Nice to hear you’re 3 years out. I’ll raise a glass in your honour.
To all of you unhappy married guys, its Sunday morning and I am not forced to go to church anymore, just finished at 8am cooking a hamburger with extra onions anf FFs on the screened-in porch on my vacation house in Fla., and preparing the boat for near shore speckle trout fishing in the bay...close to the marina so that we can eat pizza and beer for lunch.....Sorry guys for throwing that in your face!!!!
I really appreciate my time 🙏, been separated 2 years going on three; my cash flow is completely screwed, but all the sudden I'm on time to everything!🎉
John i so wished to tell you how important your walks have been to me; i am in another country, thousands of miles away, never married no children, paid my share of furniture getting seperated, yet being 53 hearing for the first time exactly how i have lived relationships just like you seen it too, makes me and surely men know they aren’t crazy, and the odds have always been against us, so i can say f it, i even told my retirement conselor that i will be single on the 1st of febuary 2027 when i retire, no chick is gonna grab my shtt, ever 😂
One of the most difficult things when I was going through my own marital problems was feeling like I was alone. There was nowhere to turn for any kind of validation or understanding of what was happening to me. I’ve got a feeling that’s the way most men feel when they’re marriages start to go bad. I’m glad you found this channel and I’m glad that it is helping you come to terms With your experience. I certainly hope that you can use this information to make the most of the time you have left on this planet. Because every experience has the potential to be a peak experience.
John, I love seeing you embrace your existence in this new reality for you with such grace & humility, enthusiasm, humour & commitment to self. You are setting a very beautiful example to your daughters & to those of us who follow your channel. I always feel a sense of calm & self centre when contemplating the messages you are imparting here. It truly is a work of joy sprung out of much pain, carefully considered & given with the spirit of generosity. I hope one day to look you in the eye, shake your hand & say thank you, John. I'm sorry you have suffered for being your authentic self. Never change :)
Hey man you are so spot on with all these points you make. Every single experience you are describing is exactly what I had to put up with in my marriage. I got my life back after the divorce. Keep up the good work!!
I have $6k play money per month but without a woman, I really don’t know what to spend it on. Bought the pickleball paddle, own two nice cars outright and have a beautiful duplex in So Cal.
@ have been traveling a lot. Went to Albania, Greece, Turkey recently. Last year went to Philippines. That was fun. I was a teacher for 34 years and retired 2 years ago. I’m not complaining but weirdly enough, life was more exciting when I had nothing.
@@Kimonha I'm in that phase where I'm taking care of elderly parents so I can't travel. When I was younger and did travel, I liked staying for 3 months in each country I visited, so I could get beyond the tourist experience and live like the locals. Airbnb has made this a quite affordable option!
It is the gospel truth. Been divorced 2 years and love it. In two months I have bought 2 pickup trucks and paid with cash. Have added two new watches to my collection, and am maxing out my retirement account. I have found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with……..me.😊
Hi John, I've watched through a number of your videos, and while I admire your new found freedom, you seem to be in a different place. My wife went through a voyage of self discovery and enlightenment when she turned 40, and I guess I was put on the old life pile as she tested the water elsewhere and after comparing our life together with her feelings of being flirted with, decided I came up short. I think the biggest difference though is that there is nothing I wouldn't do to continue caring for the kids to the best of my ability, so I'm tied to her if I'm still married to her or not. I'm not in the happy financial situation you are in. Paying the rent on a small appartment for me has already blown the budget, and I'm dancing on the red line. Although it is clearly over between us, I can't ignore her as she has a direct influence on the kids and although I'm pissed as hell, I can't hate her as it seems more of a psychological issue. She is basically a good person, great mother, spends sensibly, but she just lives in a different world in the increasing belief she is life's greatest victim. This allows her to feel zero remorse for sticking me on the slag heap after 20 years and a complete lack of empathy for how I feel. So basically I'm stuck until the kids are grown and I can scrape together what is left of my finances to start again.
Oh wow I wish this information could be given to every man who is getting and is married. Divorce is a major drag-especially when kids are involved but the peace after the storm is awesome and just feels right!. You earned a subscriber. Thanks
I likened my 0:24 divorce to be like the movie Shawshank Redemption where Andy meticulously plans his escape, then the time comes to break and swim the sewer pipe (when I pulled the trigger on telling her and next morning getting her served with papers) that sewer piping felt like forever, it was the worst experience of my life. Coming out the other end was incredible, just like the movie!
1. time 2. financial freedom/planning to do stuff 3.freedom to focus on personal goals 4.not compromising with anyone 5.(big one) emotional independance 6.peace and quiet 7. dating 8. self reliance 9. having control over your lifestyle (exercise/diet) 10. much more meaningful friendships and relationships 11. getting comfortable in your own skin - untroubled by the opinions of others 12. super vision - everything looks different. I'm 66....I've been single 26 years now and 82% (lol) of my adult life. 13. You look younger than you are. I think a stressed lifestyle (marriage) makes you old 14. (maybe). one realises marriage is a good way to destroy a man. It's not worth the candle the way it is set up these days with regards to societal expectancy. Maybe - because I never had children - maybe that makes it worthwhile.
Definitely feeling the same here. I met my first wife when I was 17. Together for about 18-19 years. She became an alcoholic post second child and eventually died from that. Met my second wife right after my separation from the first. Together 17-18 years if you include the drug out divorce after she cheated. I initially dated after the second separation/divorce but stopped almost 4 years ago. I had never really been single for most of my life and I am currently enjoying it. I have zero debt and am mostly retired. I buy what I want. I have an RV, 2 actually, I bought a McLaren and put over 10,000 miles on it in a year. Every time I meet a woman I just think….nope, not going to do it right now. Too many women are inherently discontented and they project that on you constantly. I always just wanted to enjoy life and like the little things. I don’t want to go to bars or outdoor concerts or any of the “stuff”. I like traveling but I like nature and quiet. I am still open to meeting someone but solitude and peace are addicting. Feminism has ruined women IMAO. It has made them their own worst enemies.
On February 4th 1991I went to work in the morning and came home to find my wife, my children and half the furniture gone. There was no goodbye note. It was several weeks before I found out where they were. She had taken them 750 miles awayvto her home area in Michigan. The next 6 monyhs were devoted to developing a separation agreement so I had the kids during all school vacations and she had them while they were in school My youngest was not even 2 when she left. I had to pay child support for 15 years, till he was 18 The only small victory was when I filed for divorce it was granted on grounds of desertion.😢
When I was 3 years into my refound freedom's I was sitting across from two beautiful young women in a Cafe in Bangkok they were chatting and laughing enjoying the moment, mind blowing. I looked to the heaven's with a smile on my face . Thank you thank you thank you. 😁
I am a woman, 23 years of marriage. I will make many, many changes in the way I treat my husband. I always watch your videos, Thank you for helping me open my eyes.
This guy is brilliant. I feel wonderful being single. I had a long term relationship and one child. I love my daughter and I am happy to be a free man again.
it's interesting how at the end of a long relationship men lose weight and get in shape by default. I ate more steaks, dropped the cakes and got on the rowing machine for fun. Lost 10kg
I (M43) started the divorce process in April 2024. Still dragging on, all her (F38) stuff in boxes in my living room (I brought the house to the marriage, so thankfully I get to keep it). Daydreaming about life afterwards, and these videos are a lifeline, thank you! In Connecticut, we have lifetime alimony as a punishment, so I need to tiptoe.
I'm also from Connecticut, got divorced in 2015, guess I lucked out!!! Wife had a good job at the start of the divorce lost it got another good job she had it when the divorce was finalized then lost that job, I did have to pay her for the other half of the house and also pay her 15k in cash but no alimony😊
@@innergoof19 I filed in April. Divorce was finalized in June. 24 years married 6 kids and 6 grand kids all flushed down the toilet for another man. She barely sees the kids.
Treasure all of your freedoms. Don't give any of them up for anyone. If you seek companionship, hopefully the universe puts that soul in your path. There may be a connection there... maybe not. Just embrace and enjoy your freedom, regardless. God bless! 😊❤✌️
This man spittin' facts! Every bullet point I was like "yup......yup....yup.....yup" I'm not sure how you get this message to all the guys that need to hear it. Maybe teach it in school? When you're in the middle of it you don't realize how bad it is. Reflection years later is great but this may be something you have to go through (sometimes more than once) to really understand it. Keep putting these videos out, lots of people can benefit from them✌️
Not divorced, no desire to be. But it is helpful to remember in a relationship all the things you tend to giveaway without thinking it through. If you resent giving them away, then there's a problem with you, your spouse, or the way you interact. Your time is ALWAYS your own, for example. Your spouse cannot take it from you. However, if you resent giving it away, then something is out of whack. Good relationships are the ones where you can talk when you recognize this. Both partners work not just to compromise, but to help each other build a better life.
Man, it's like you just described my married life without ever having met me! The sabotage of personal and physical goals, the having to compromise on ever single thing, the giving up on being able to have YOUR house be arranged the way YOU want, the lack of personal freedom, the mask you have to wear all the time because you aren't able to be your authentic self, the never getting to spend money on what YOU want, the loss of old friendships and lack of being able to make new ones because of her opinions, and on and on...WOW. Just amazing.
John, love your content. Your wisdom has proved more valuable than you can imagine. Thank you Brother. Love to you and our community, JM. P.S. Men, give yourself time to grieve. So critical and grieving is different (in timing) is independent. 👊🏼❤️✝️
@@davidhenryhudson3102 I feel for you. Deeply. So much to unpack with/at “emotional devastation”. I had to change my perspective. My ex-wife was once my queen. My prize. A social win as to be accepted by my peers. My one true love. At that time of my life, it was as true as the earth is round. This condition was in reality, unfair. As unfair as we view our parents as super human beings. Consider this David, “The Upside of Down”. Know this, I respect your devastation. I live my own. With this community of broken believers, John’s content is one of many voices. I pray for compassion. I too pray for my enemy of which brings about an understanding of the emotional devastation. At some point (whether it’s a man or woman) we have to get back to what makes our heart beat faster and press towards our continued contributions. I hope this response finds you well. Peace ☮️
Are there elk in the area you filmed this in? I swear I heard a cow call several times along about 23:30. Anyway, I enjoyed this video, thanks! I've been single for 24 years and I have married friends with much drama at times. It is a trade off. I wish I would have kids and now sometimes I'm lonely, even though I like being alone most of the time. Anyway, I do whatever I want and no one can stop me. I appreciated the vindication about being comfortable in my own skin. I think I have fully come into that awareness. I really don't care what other people think about me or my lifestyle. I lead a good, clean, honest life. I pay my taxes and bills and respect others. I don't break laws and try and help others when I can. All in all, life is what it is, and it is up to us to make it happy or not. Thanks!!
Gotta say that I got lucky finding your videos at the exact right time. Im not going through a divorce yet, but I feel that it may be coming soon. Thank you for all of your videos, please keep uploading them. You are helping more men than you could possibly imagine.
John, thank you so much for the great summary of values and reminders. You inspire to become a better and stronger person. I look forward to achieving many things in my life.
As a first time watcher, I thought this would be a bit of a wank message but I was wrong. I was divorced 13 years ago and at the time it was incredibly painful. Today I’m still single and I love my life! Sure I can at times ruminate on how I felt so let down but I quickly pull myself into line by expressing gratitude for being where I am today. Life is great 😎. Great to hear the very true and worthwhile positives to putting divorce in the past and inviting a positive future as a man 👍
Never married ,no kids at 52 i just dont see it happening ever...but what i traded it for it was....my time,hobbies,more $$$....n just overall me time....thanks john
After 16 years of marriage and financial abuse once I woke up out of my slumber and discovered myself worth and took control of my finances that’s when everything is falling apart and leading to divorce after being threatened with divorce for so long I don’t care what I lose I’m just happy to get my freedom time insanity back I know my kids will always love me and I’ll be there for them every day so I’m not worried
At 50 and single I’m living an incredible life , house paid free and clear , expenses very minimal, work on what I want when I want and take trips to places when and where I want. And as far as women are concerned they come and go but I never let them stick around long
Hi John I’ve been listening to your videos now for several months. I relate so well because I love being single. I have to say that your ex wife was a real PAIN! A dollhouse room? Oh hell No. keep being single and keep making these videos. I appreciate you!
This is one of the greatest videos I have ever heard. This guy sounds like I guy that checked all the boxes of being a “nice” guy. Then boom 💥, he grabbed his life back. Not worried about pleasing everyone, but not treating them bad either.
Great video thanks John. You raised some great points, but the keyword is “freedom” as a single guy we have no idea how restrictive marriage is. How about these guys that keep getting married again and again? Take someone like Roger Moore who played James Bond for seven movies. He could’ve had any woman he wanted, but he got married four times. So what was he looking for??
This is BY FAR one of the most valuable pieces of content ever created regardless of platform… I watched this 3 times & have been divorced and single for 3.5yrs now. You elaborated on the reality of what real happiness actually is and feels like & im so thankful I found this video! Success and nothing less to you with your most valuable currency on this earth… Your time! 💯
It’s been a couple of years now so it’s easy to forget. Occasionally the good idea fairy will come along and tell me it’s time to find someone again. Then I go to work and listen to my coworkers talk about their married lives. It has a real funny way of bringing a guys mind right back around to reality.
Once in a while I get those few good memories pop up, random like a certain song. All I have to do is a reality check to what hell it really was 99% of the time. Men, keep a secret journal of every time she berates, insults, uses, manipulates, lies, projects, gaslights you. I was shocked when I read my journals of how many times every day I took the abuse. It solidified my resolve to leave, and when those stupid positive memories pop up, I just break out that journal and it shuts those few good memories down! Do it!
I love that term “Born Again Bachelor.” That is exactly on-target. It took me a couple of years after my divorce to quit viewing the termination of my marriage as “the end” and instead to see it as truly a new beginning. Now that I’m 7 years past the divorce I can say that I absolutely am better off. More freedom. More disposable income. More peace. Much better health. Etc. In the final years of my marriage I was on the road to dropping dead from obesity and heart disease. Now I’m 110 pounds lighter - much fitter - eating a Carnivore diet and living a very low-stress lifestyle. None of that would have happened if I had not divorced my wife and I’d likely be dead now. Instead, I think I could live well into my 80’s or 90’s now. Life is good.
I rece tly spent $2500.00 on hiking back packing gear. Try that with a wife, by the way, walking thru the woods now feels like im driving a caddilac, and my $500 2 man tent is comfy as can be.
I heard for years from my ex “I resent you” and specifically about any hobby or activity that I did for myself like I was so terrible for doing it even though I did plenty around the house and for her. I had a reef aquarium for years and always loved it but of course she complained about it and gave me crap about the time and money I put into it even though I could afford it. Now I’m divorced and just got a new tank with no insecure wife to give me a hard time about it, what a pleasure.
Thank you for this.. I love your profound wisdom. I’m 47 n single and although I have a gf at the moment I may stay alone and live alone etc and won’t just submit to expectations … have a great day
Love your content John. Thank you for all your videos, I hope you can keep them flowing like this. M50 and now referring to myself as a reborn bachelor. Life is good.
Wife walked out a few weeks ago after 24 years together. As I sit here and type, alone in my large house I can't help but feel totally at ease because there's no one here that hates me. Looking forward to the future as a born again single man!
Never married but girl left after 9 years. About a month ago. It’s a weird feeling alone in the big house but weirdly peaceful and calm. I wish you all the best
After 16 years for me
You are fortunate to take it well
The wife told me she hated me right before she left. Two months later, she wants to come back. Her alcoholic boyfriend on dialysis wasn't working out for some strange reason. I told her No. She hates me even more many years later. I don't care.
@@stormtraders what city are you in?
One of my biggest peeves with women is they are determined to be The Head of the Household…. They have no problem making insulting remarks about what you wear, your hobbies, your old friends, what you want to eat, your family… damn, I’m feel so blessed to not be living in that personal hell anymore.
Exactly!
Women see men as negative in general. That’s the starting point for all men in most women’s minds. And you only ever move out of that spot temporarily and while you are doing what they demand or expect, if they have a reason to notice you at all since they spend most their life noticing the mirror first and foremost, and other women after that.
Sounds like something a man should notice BEFORE he lives with her, no? I've NEVER allowed anything like that, but then again, I've never made it to the altar, either. 🤣🤣
Yeah, they want the head of household title that someone else pays for. Wild.
They want all the authority and none of the responsibility.
I can soooo relate to this after I got divorced. I bought a boat and parked it in my driveway. One night, I was preparing to go offshore fishing. My son and I decided to make our own fish chum. I took a bunch of old fish out of my freezer and processed it in my kitchen in my food processor. It was a big mess. I laughed and told my son, "This would never happen at a married man's house". I could wake up at 2 AM and go to Walmart. No one questioned me. I just went and bought what I wanted. No approval needed.
Great example of real freedom
@john-griffin I miss it now. Married again. One day....
M.E.A.T.
Money
Energy
Attention
Time
@@ActualSighs😮
@@sachawisznia9685shout out to CGA!
You can be at home with ZERO tension in the air.. No woman nagging you, giving you the silent treatment and stomping around the house,”reminding” you of your chores while you are trying to watch the game, turning her back on you in bed after she told you “ don’t even try touching me” because she’s punishing you for something… all in the house that you paid for… another great video John . Thank you!
@@tomfilippone6303 haha this is so accurate . They’re just little annoying fckers😂
_...turning her back on you in bed after she told you “don’t even try touching me” because she’s punishing you for something…all in the house that you paid for…_
Not only the house you are paying for. You are also paying her way, supporting her, putting a roof over her head, feeding her, and in general giving her a better lifestyle she would otherwise not be able to afford on her own.
You in turn are depriving yourself of having and even better lifestyle because you are paying for her..... and yet, she turns her back on you in the bedroom.
Guys, just stay single, enjoy your life, and grow your wealth.
Dayam. Truth.
Erghh reading this is triggering!! But reminds me why I left.
@@JohnJohnCrusher A Man’s Fairy Tail
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, "Will you marry me?"
The Princess said, "No!!!"
And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and dated skinny long-legged full-breasted women and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated ladies half his age and drank whiskey, beer, and Captain Morgan and never heard beaching and never paid child support or alimony and dated cheerleaders and kept his house and ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.
The End
The Princess?
Well her story was a little different. As time went by in her delusional mind and enchanted and privileged world she thought would never end. Her biological clock kept ticking… and ticking. Ticking so loudly you could almost hear it. She kept getting older and older, she started to gain weight, and had developed “crow’s feet” under her eyes. She discovered princes were no longer interested in her anymore because they wanted and could get younger more attractive princesses that had tight aces and didn’t have sagging boobs like hers. They wanted princesses that weren’t so all consuming beaches like her that thought the world revolved around them. Much to her chagrin men were not fawning all over her like she was a beach in heat anymore.
So, much to her mortification she actually had to develop a nice personality and at least pretend to be a pleasant person to be around. She had to grudgingly put others before herself. She learned that to even get a prince to look at her or even talk to her, she had to at least make-believe not to be the beach she knew she was and hide that evil, vile, creature living inside of her that was screaming so badly to come out you could almost hear its howling blood curdling scream in the dark of a misty night. Most women are cold, cruel, predatory animals lurking in the shadows and you could just imagine the feel of its heavy, warm, moist breath just inches from the back of your neck. Wanting to come out and seek whom it may sink its already bloody fangs into. Still dripping from the blood of so many past men and into its new victims, so to devour them as she had done so many times, so coldly, and so callously in the past. She now had to be nice to people and pretend she was interested in what they had to say rather than talk about herself. She also discovered people where no longer pretending to be interested in what she had to say. She learned that it’s not all about her, she had to learn to pretend not to be a blood sucking selfish beach that would suck the very life right out of you with no regret or conscious. She now had to work at trying to look pretty. It didn’t come so easy and naturally to her like it had in the past.
She was getting old and rapidly approaching the wall and she knows it. Gravity had not been kind her. Things are changing, changing fast, and not for the better. She is beginning to get desperate and these desperate times called for desperate actions.
She finally found a prince that took pity on her aging and sagging body and agreed to date her with the understanding he didn’t want to marry her or have children. This selfish, evil, and entitled little beach wanted both and so she hatched an evil, wicked, and vile plan of deceit, deception, and lies she thought would trick the prince into marring her. She lied to him, deceive him, offered liberal six and pretended to like six in hopes of trapping him into her deceitful web of vile lies, despicable treachery, abhorrent deceit, and dishonest six. The promise of love was written on her face. She led him on with untrue kisses. Kisses she only pretended to feel. She held him captive in her false embrace. Sweetness was only heart aches camouflaged. The love he saw in her was just a mirage. Just like the desert shows a thirsty man, green oasis where there’s only sand.
She had to ask him to marry her not once, not twice, but many times and he kept refusing. This was quite a change for her to have to be the one asking to get married and even more humiliating, he was rejecting her offer. The prince kept saying no but told her he would be willing to continue to date her and give her a better and fulfilling life she otherwise would not have been able to have attained on her own. All this being precluded by her continued “good behavior”. This wasn’t enough for this selfish little beach. She wanted it all without the requirement of having to earn it or be a nice person to keep it. She wanted to sink her already bloody fangs deeply into his neck and wallet and suck out and take whatever financial freedom he still had left in him and make it her own leaving him nothing. So she hatched an evil fool proof plan to trap him….. or so she thought.
Here is her story. The story of lies, deceit, betrayal, and six. The story of the evil, deceitful, lying princess beatch that was never heard from again:
The Story on U-.Toob:
_How A MGTOW Guy With A Vasectomy Escaped A Gold Digging Hand Bag Basic Chasing All His Assets_
I'm single and childless, and I like seeing your videos to remind me how good I have it.
Thank you!!!
I'm so glad I can save at least one life!
Me too 😂👏👍🏻
You’ll be 10 times better off financially in the end.
I’ve seen so many kids turn out bad and be disrespectful and arrogant toward their parents. If I could go back in time I’d avoid marriage and kids. I’m 71
I had 8 children so you can share in the average, and, yes, my wife left me too. I now have a motorcycle, which is exhilerating, and before I was married I rode bikes but sold them when she came along.
Time is very important. I refuse to spend any more of my time argueing/debating about my decisions. Married 12 years and she kicked me to the curb. The grass wasn't greener. And 4 years later she wanted to come back.
I enjoyed telling her that she made her own choice. Live with it!
She wanted to finish you off.
@@dannymccarty344 I agree with the other guy. She would "act" great full, thankfull all that at first. But eventually who she really is would return and it would be worse...I'm living it. I ReMarried my ex and things are miserable. Both boys are now graduated and I am very very much considering divorce again. We do not get along, she constantly nags me for things I have, things I worked hard for. She disrespects me and argues me about everything. I don't hate her, that's to strong of a word. But I do not like her, sometimes I think I love her, but I think maybe it's just the fear of restarting overriding my system and trying to retard the divorce in order to not go through a big hard change again.
@@redriders7149 why would you remarry when you could have just lived together?..Bro what the hell were you thinking?
@@redriders7149Ah the classic love bomb bait and switch! When I filed on my now ex she suddenly became the woman I married 30 years ago, simply amazing! I got smart and did not fall for it. You have to go no contact, otherwise you will be in the friendzone and be used and manipulated.
Not today, Satan lol
As a german single dude I can assure that I am completely 100% whole...I mean there is no "missing" part that I am seeking for.
After my divorce, a decade ago, I realized that I am free! So free, that I would never give up on that again.
My time!
My money!
My decissions!
My life!
You winning bro 😁👍
#13 You're no longer relegated to the dirtiest space in your house (The Garage) as your man cave. The whole house is your man cave!!
So true
Not a man cave, your castle.
In my case, my house is just clean now. Wife was the messy one with no discipline.
@@scottmerric2180fk that
ONLY IF you are young enough to start over. My X divorced me at 61 years of age. She wanted to ride the rooster/hen carousel.(bi) Discover all she missed before we married. Spends $$$$$$$$$$$$ like crazy she doesnt have, not my problem when the bills come due. I am financially stable 3 years later, it was a bear. So far as owning a house now, I would like to and have a shop I can putter around and do welding projects and stuff......
When you are single you have so much freedom and married people are secretly very jealous of you.
Don't torture yourself thinking that you're lonely.... you are NOT lonely..... you have total wonderful blissful freedom !! 👍🏼😊
Amen!
👍🏻
Thanks i needed to hear that 😊😊😊
@ivanguban7143 Enjoy your life to the Fullest !!
@@TheMiraleah Don't waste your time being sad. Life is a bowl of cherries !!👍🏼😊
"Born again bachelor" 💯
@6:14 What many men call compromising in a relationship is actually 'surrendering.' If she gets what she wants and you don't, that's not a compromise.
True
WORD!
Yes but usually it is what it means, that you give up on stupid idéas.
And I mean you got to fight to get the most stupid stuff off the table. Like get a dog when your doughter is allergic to dogs. Then you divorce and she gets a dog at once. We are not talking about color of curtains here, even if it is like bad, but there could be the most insane stuff.
@@TheSnookman
💯🎈 was thinking the same... Compromise is actually great for long term companionship but surrendering is one person always getting what they at the expense of the other person
Respect. The divorce was one of the best things to happen to me in my adult life. (Divorced after 27 years - her demand - but it worked out so well for me. Wish I would have done it sooner.)
Totally independent, nobody's judging if you eat over the sink, or fart in bed. Wearing the same thing over and over. Vacation when and where you want. I'm so spoiled. It's great.
Thanks for another great video. B
Don't have to pit the seat down when you can leak in the tub 😊
Living room, workshop, meh, same thing. 😄
7 years single after 22 yrs of marriage. Life is now amazing! I have great friends, ride motorcycles, play golf. I will never ever deal with that again!!!! Everything you say is Spot On! All my married friends say they would never marry again if they became single. lol
One of my favorite quotes that this talk reminded of is,
"If you don't make plans for yourself, then chances are you will fall into someone else's plan, and guess what they will have planned for you? Not much." - Jim Rohn
I'm 43 and single. When I look back at my life the most miserable times was when I was involved with dating.
Amen brother
Superfacts
65, retired,and single! Love it! Meet up with buddies for a beer or coffee whenever we want. Just splurged and bought a Powertec leverage gym, that I could never have done when I was married! In better shape all round then when I was married!
@@gerry742 good luck and good health. We are programmed that leaving our wives is taboo, but it is actually a gift of love not only to her but also to us. Life is too valuable to be unhappy especially in our 60's. It is not a failure...it is an awakening! Congrats!!! Hopefully the Dr will not give you the "long face" for a long time from now.
I struggled with my weight for a long time and my stay at home wife was always too lazy too cook anything and would want to order pizza three times a week. Didn't take long after we got divorced for me to lose 100lbs.
When she divorced me I lost over 250lbs..........
because that is what she weighed....
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I gained the weight mostly from drinking. I didn’t look forward to spending time with her and being buzzed made it all easier.
That is on you. You have to vocalize your expectations of your wife if she wants to be "stay at home". I had to tell my wife that I didn't care what she did during the day as long as the house was somewhat tidy and that she had made supper for me when I get home. Her mom and sister freaked out when they heard but f them. They are not involved in my marriage. We were able to work through it. In a marriage two people have expectations of what will take place and it is up to those people how it will work out. Nowadays people really really are bad at communicating. If you can't communicate simple wants and needs between two people who "love" each other then I don't know what to tell you.
I thought I was going to struggle hard with money losing her income but not having to order food 5 days a week because she never cooked, I was actually saving money
Lawn, leaves cleaning kitchen and bathrooms, I do it all myself and I really like it. I look for every opportunity to exercise given how sedentary my job is. I do use a standing desk. I like solitude. I don’t miss women at all
Sounds great!
Bravo brother
I'm single and as someone who can learn from others' experience, I realize how lucky I am!
Indeed you are.
Great list John. I have been "liberated" and I am SO thankful. Every time I feel lonely, I remind myself of the hell I lived in when I was married. I was literally miserable. Thanks for the insight.
Me too!
After a divorce your time is YOUR time and your mind is YOUR mind. Keep going.
Every woman is a member of PIA, the Pain in the Association, an international organization.
I was married for 29 years, 3 kids. The kids are adults, she left just over 14 months ago. I totally agree with everything you’ve said. It’s awesome. Don’t worry about loosing friends, she would have turned them all against you anyway.
After 2 divorces, and many jealous, and manipulative women, I’ve had it, I walked away from all of them. been single for about 2 years now, single is heaven. I jump on my Harley, I go when I want, wherever I want, and with who I want. Life’s good👌.
🏍️💨🔥…🇨🇦✌️😎
Boom, I hope to be living your way soon. So tired of arguing. I want peace quiet and time. I get the blame for everything. No respect and she can't stand the things I have the things I've worked hard for.
@@redriders7149…friend, don’t bother, you’re wasting your time and life. Our lifetime is always running out. Live your life, not someone else’s.
Congrats 😁👍did the divorces cost a lot?
@@swisscheese412 ...lots! We men make layers, and judges rich
I have two women that I see but really just as f-buddies. She comes over we enjoy our time then she leaves. I get the only thing that I enjoy with a woman while maintaining my independence. I could not be happier!
I was just talking to a recently retired neighbor, and asked him how he was liking it. He was lamenting the fact that now he has become the chauffeur and shopping companion for the live-in girlfriend. He had just suffered through a trip for her to shop for shoes. 3 hours of his life that he wil never get back!
I nodded in empathy, but was giggling inside because I have escaped that BS. Never forget the little things a single guy is "missing out on"!!
What a flaccid guy! That is the main problem with most man, they just cannot say no! I Never went shopping with my wife or girlfriend...and never will
Oh….Jesus H. Christ….I had forgotten all about those insufferable and constant demands to accompany my former wife on her endless expeditions to go shopping. She just had to have me along to keep her company so that my TIME after work was wasted and I got no relaxation at the end of my day. Ugh! I fucking HATED that shit. Was it not ENOUGH that I had to work to PAY for all of the CRAP we didn’t need that she kept dragging home from the stores? 😡
I am totally alone this weekend, its like heaven
I can relate, after being in chaos so long, just quiet is delightful!
"Compromising is what we do instead of killing each other". Awesome. 😂
After my divorce . I bought a new motorcycle. A bike is far superior than living with a woman.
I can turn the bike on when I like.
The bike is always up for a ride and she never says no.
The bike shuts the hell up at the turn of a key
The bike is such great therapy for me
I keep the bike in the garage.
Plus the bike is by far cheaper than any woman would be.
I love that metaphor that’s excellent
And you don't have to hear her say your always in the garage with your bike
True but a younger woman is the same way. Just don’t give her any power.
I am getting a new car cause of kids. It is easier to go on trips and mountains... If there were not that logic, I would get the bike too!
All the things I take for granted as a single (never married) 50 year old (with 1 daughter). Sometimes I think “I wish I were married”. But I watch something like this and start to be a bit more appreciative.
I never wanted to be “stuck” like my dad was in his marriage. I accomplished that. 😂
Well done! You're living the life that many of us wish we had made for ourselves (as opposed to signing the Faustian pact).
@@plasmaarmelund thx. It’s crazy. Men really need to be coached before making marriage decisions. Otherwise you are just ignorant and relying on good fortune in hopes that you picked someone good. I knew I didn’t have the mentorship to pick a good partner when I was in my 20s. It would have been rolling dice with a 90% chance of misery.
I did learn from my dad. He was definitely miserable. Good man in that he stuck it out for us. But my motto was always “I don’t want to be stuck like my dad”.
I did learn that. However, I think we should also teach young men HOW to pick good women. There are good women out there. But you gotta pick right and you have to know how to navigate the relationship right.
@@croneyr Yes, agreed. God bless your dad. Even a good woman can switch on you down the line. You just never know. The good news is that men are waking up, thanks to online communities and videos like the ones John is creating. The marriage and birth rates are declining, which isn't good for society but maybe it's necessary for some kind of reform or sweeping change because the status quo is clearly not sustainable.
The smile @11:10 truly emphasises how a man truly feels when he has freedom to be himself.
No more mind games, I’ve moved my guitar back into the living room and write music when I feel like it even in the middle of the night. I also spend a couple hours at the gym 5 days a week she didn’t even want me working out at home anymore, I’m no longer looking over my shoulder…
Same... never liked me working out or practicing my guitar
I was taught early in life that there is always a silver lining if you look hard enough
I’m divorced and found the silver lining
Great video
Been divorced for 10 years with full custody. Kids are pretty much grown up now. The first thing I did was hire someone to clean the house every 2 weeks, and someone to mow the lawn. That frees up so much time for me to do what I want and when the kids were younger, it allowed me to spend more quality time with them.
I’ve made many stupid mistakes in my life but I’ve never been married at 62.
I’m still learning what my best life looks like but no one will ever tell me what to do.
It's great being single!
Hi John, this is one of your best. I resonate with all 12 points. I’d add selecting what to be angry about. So many times, you get dragged to problems not of your own making. The petty squabbles regarding her friends that you get drawn into and wo betide if you take the other person’s side. Home decorating. That’s a huge bone of contention to the point where we couldn’t agree and the rooms just stagnated. I tend not to outsource much ( only complex plumbing and electrical work) because I love learning DIY. Smoking ban. I love an occasional cigar, pipe, cigarette or weed. I now have a smoking room. Crazy trips. I’ve always loved adventure. Solo backpacking, desert hiking, stealth camping. None of that is possible while hitched.
Amen, Philip... God, I don't miss the petty drama... at... all
@ i hear you. It’s draining. This is then usually followed by “ how come you haven’t done ( x, y, z) yet?” Answer, “ because I just spent a day listening to your shite”.
I'm 3 years free and the getting angry thing hits home. In 23 years I don't know how many times I heard, " Why aren't you angry?, You should be more angry" or any combination of that. A week before I told her we were getting a divorce she started it again. I told her. "I don't get angry because you have enough anger for 10 people" Shit hit the fan and she went off. I walked away laughing and said, "See 10 people" That next week I found out she was cheating with a co-worker and kicked her out. They are still together 3 years later and my granddaughter says he's miserable. Thanks Dave for taking out my garbage, you deserve her. LOL
@@RR-bh8vd sorry to hear you had to go through before you found nirvana. It’s only when you look back after the events that you realize how much misery they cause. While you’re in it, you tend to go into survival mode. I’ve always strived to have a stoic demeanour and tend to laugh off drama, but there comes a time when you do crack, pack your bags and leave or tell her to leave. Nice to hear you’re 3 years out. I’ll raise a glass in your honour.
To all of you unhappy married guys, its Sunday morning and I am not forced to go to church anymore, just finished at 8am cooking a hamburger with extra onions anf FFs on the screened-in porch on my vacation house in Fla., and preparing the boat for near shore speckle trout fishing in the bay...close to the marina so that we can eat pizza and beer for lunch.....Sorry guys for throwing that in your face!!!!
it really is the simple things and the peace that matters for fulfillment and true happiness
I really appreciate my time 🙏, been separated 2 years going on three; my cash flow is completely screwed, but all the sudden I'm on time to everything!🎉
John i so wished to tell you how important your walks have been to me; i am in another country, thousands of miles away, never married no children, paid my share of furniture getting seperated, yet being 53 hearing for the first time exactly how i have lived relationships just like you seen it too, makes me and surely men know they aren’t crazy, and the odds have always been against us, so i can say f it, i even told my retirement conselor that i will be single on the 1st of febuary 2027 when i retire, no chick is gonna grab my shtt, ever 😂
One of the most difficult things when I was going through my own marital problems was feeling like I was alone. There was nowhere to turn for any kind of validation or understanding of what was happening to me. I’ve got a feeling that’s the way most men feel when they’re marriages start to go bad. I’m glad you found this channel and I’m glad that it is helping you come to terms With your experience. I certainly hope that you can use this information to make the most of the time you have left on this planet. Because every experience has the potential to be a peak experience.
Thx John.. My first Christmas alone. I’m buying a train set
😂🎉
Its great to be able to listen to MY favorite music, house music, whenever i want and as loud as I want. No compromising
John, I love seeing you embrace your existence in this new reality for you with such grace & humility, enthusiasm, humour & commitment to self. You are setting a very beautiful example to your daughters & to those of us who follow your channel. I always feel a sense of calm & self centre when contemplating the messages you are imparting here. It truly is a work of joy sprung out of much pain, carefully considered & given with the spirit of generosity. I hope one day to look you in the eye, shake your hand & say thank you, John. I'm sorry you have suffered for being your authentic self. Never change :)
Thanks
I second this!
Hey man you are so spot on with all these points you make. Every single experience you are describing is exactly what I had to put up with in my marriage. I got my life back after the divorce. Keep up the good work!!
Thanks
Peace & Quiet - That’s what I miss the most. My current wife & I separated for about 4 years and I loved being able to hear myself think.
I have $6k play money per month but without a woman, I really don’t know what to spend it on. Bought the pickleball paddle, own two nice cars outright and have a beautiful duplex in So Cal.
Get a motorcycle.
@ I ride a very cool electric Brompton foldable bike. Too scared of motorcycles.
I'd be traveling the world if I made that kind of money! Currently only have about $100/week disposable income. Life is short. Enjoy it!
@ have been traveling a lot. Went to Albania, Greece, Turkey recently. Last year went to Philippines. That was fun. I was a teacher for 34 years and retired 2 years ago. I’m not complaining but weirdly enough, life was more exciting when I had nothing.
@@Kimonha I'm in that phase where I'm taking care of elderly parents so I can't travel. When I was younger and did travel, I liked staying for 3 months in each country I visited, so I could get beyond the tourist experience and live like the locals. Airbnb has made this a quite affordable option!
It is the gospel truth. Been divorced 2 years and love it. In two months I have bought 2 pickup trucks and paid with cash. Have added two new watches to my collection, and am maxing out my retirement account. I have found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with……..me.😊
I’m 63 , not dated by choice for 16yrs , the happiest years of my life , period
Hi John, I've watched through a number of your videos, and while I admire your new found freedom, you seem to be in a different place. My wife went through a voyage of self discovery and enlightenment when she turned 40, and I guess I was put on the old life pile as she tested the water elsewhere and after comparing our life together with her feelings of being flirted with, decided I came up short. I think the biggest difference though is that there is nothing I wouldn't do to continue caring for the kids to the best of my ability, so I'm tied to her if I'm still married to her or not. I'm not in the happy financial situation you are in. Paying the rent on a small appartment for me has already blown the budget, and I'm dancing on the red line. Although it is clearly over between us, I can't ignore her as she has a direct influence on the kids and although I'm pissed as hell, I can't hate her as it seems more of a psychological issue. She is basically a good person, great mother, spends sensibly, but she just lives in a different world in the increasing belief she is life's greatest victim. This allows her to feel zero remorse for sticking me on the slag heap after 20 years and a complete lack of empathy for how I feel. So basically I'm stuck until the kids are grown and I can scrape together what is left of my finances to start again.
Oh wow I wish this information could be given to every man who is getting and is married. Divorce is a major drag-especially when kids are involved but the peace after the storm is awesome and just feels right!. You earned a subscriber. Thanks
I likened my 0:24 divorce to be like the movie Shawshank Redemption where Andy meticulously plans his escape, then the time comes to break and swim the sewer pipe (when I pulled the trigger on telling her and next morning getting her served with papers) that sewer piping felt like forever, it was the worst experience of my life. Coming out the other end was incredible, just like the movie!
Single, homeowner, dog dad and I own 8 project/summer toys. Just got a snowmobile. Playing a lot more guitar as well. I am one lucky SOB!
1. time
2. financial freedom/planning to do stuff
3.freedom to focus on personal goals
4.not compromising with anyone
5.(big one) emotional independance
6.peace and quiet
7. dating
8. self reliance
9. having control over your lifestyle (exercise/diet)
10. much more meaningful friendships and relationships
11. getting comfortable in your own skin - untroubled by the opinions of others
12. super vision - everything looks different.
I'm 66....I've been single 26 years now and 82% (lol) of my adult life.
13. You look younger than you are. I think a stressed lifestyle (marriage) makes you old
14. (maybe). one realises marriage is a good way to destroy a man. It's not worth the candle the way it is set up these days with regards to societal expectancy. Maybe - because I never had children - maybe that makes it worthwhile.
Definitely feeling the same here. I met my first wife when I was 17. Together for about 18-19 years. She became an alcoholic post second child and eventually died from that. Met my second wife right after my separation from the first. Together 17-18 years if you include the drug out divorce after she cheated. I initially dated after the second separation/divorce but stopped almost 4 years ago. I had never really been single for most of my life and I am currently enjoying it. I have zero debt and am mostly retired. I buy what I want. I have an RV, 2 actually, I bought a McLaren and put over 10,000 miles on it in a year. Every time I meet a woman I just think….nope, not going to do it right now. Too many women are inherently discontented and they project that on you constantly. I always just wanted to enjoy life and like the little things. I don’t want to go to bars or outdoor concerts or any of the “stuff”. I like traveling but I like nature and quiet. I am still open to meeting someone but solitude and peace are addicting. Feminism has ruined women IMAO. It has made them their own worst enemies.
Agreed 👍
Me myself and i..out source my stress..great channel
Yes! Thank you!
When you’re married, you’re sharing assets, not necessarily expenses or responsibilities.
Therapy session is in progress.
Almost 1 year from walking out of a 40 year contract….love it…you’re right….gonna aim to higher goals
On February 4th 1991I went to work in the morning and came home to find my wife, my children and half the furniture gone. There was no goodbye note.
It was several weeks before I found out where they were.
She had taken them 750 miles awayvto her home area in Michigan. The next 6 monyhs were devoted to developing a separation agreement so I had the kids during all school vacations and she had them while they were in school
My youngest was not even 2 when she left. I had to pay child support for 15 years, till he was 18
The only small victory was when I filed for divorce it was granted on grounds of desertion.😢
When I was 3 years into my refound freedom's I was sitting across from two beautiful young women in a Cafe in Bangkok they were chatting and laughing enjoying the moment, mind blowing. I looked to the heaven's with a smile on my face . Thank you thank you thank you. 😁
FREEDOM!
Are you sure they were women? 🤣Be sure to check!
I am a woman, 23 years of marriage. I will make many, many changes in the way I treat my husband. I always watch your videos, Thank you for helping me open my eyes.
@@soniapia6345May i recommend The Happy Wife School by Karyn Streitz? She makes great content for women...and her back story... amazing
@@uglaegilsdottir did l tell you about the time I got tricked by a ladyboy.🤫😬
This guy is brilliant. I feel wonderful being single. I had a long term relationship and one child. I love my daughter and I am happy to be a free man again.
Same here man 12 years twin boys., but so much happier tbh
married for 23 years. divorced 2 years ago. lost 80 lbs, lifting weights everyday. not sure i ever want a long term relationship….
it's interesting how at the end of a long relationship men lose weight and get in shape by default. I ate more steaks, dropped the cakes and got on the rowing machine for fun. Lost 10kg
I (M43) started the divorce process in April 2024. Still dragging on, all her (F38) stuff in boxes in my living room (I brought the house to the marriage, so thankfully I get to keep it). Daydreaming about life afterwards, and these videos are a lifeline, thank you! In Connecticut, we have lifetime alimony as a punishment, so I need to tiptoe.
I'm also from Connecticut, got divorced in 2015, guess I lucked out!!! Wife had a good job at the start of the divorce lost it got another good job she had it when the divorce was finalized then lost that job, I did have to pay her for the other half of the house and also pay her 15k in cash but no alimony😊
@@innergoof19 I filed in April. Divorce was finalized in June. 24 years married 6 kids and 6 grand kids all flushed down the toilet for another man. She barely sees the kids.
Make sure that alimony terminates after a very reasonable time. Good luck.
I’m also the guy with boxes all over the house
John, you have an amazing gift! You about nailed it! You are by far the best person on TH-cam for anyone going through a long term marriage/divorce! 🙏
Thanks!
Treasure all of your freedoms. Don't give any of them up for anyone. If you seek companionship, hopefully the universe puts that soul in your path. There may be a connection there... maybe not. Just embrace and enjoy your freedom, regardless. God bless! 😊❤✌️
Thanks Monica!
Enjoining the video from Angola 🇦🇴 🇦🇴(Africa)
Kenya here
This man spittin' facts! Every bullet point I was like "yup......yup....yup.....yup" I'm not sure how you get this message to all the guys that need to hear it. Maybe teach it in school? When you're in the middle of it you don't realize how bad it is. Reflection years later is great but this may be something you have to go through (sometimes more than once) to really understand it. Keep putting these videos out, lots of people can benefit from them✌️
Not divorced, no desire to be. But it is helpful to remember in a relationship all the things you tend to giveaway without thinking it through. If you resent giving them away, then there's a problem with you, your spouse, or the way you interact.
Your time is ALWAYS your own, for example. Your spouse cannot take it from you. However, if you resent giving it away, then something is out of whack. Good relationships are the ones where you can talk when you recognize this. Both partners work not just to compromise, but to help each other build a better life.
Dude! You hit all the things. She has been gone four months and I love it! I'm sure we would be buds.
Life gets so much better!
I am a woman here and i feel the same. 🎉🎉🎉 cheers to happy single life.
Man, it's like you just described my married life without ever having met me! The sabotage of personal and physical goals, the having to compromise on ever single thing, the giving up on being able to have YOUR house be arranged the way YOU want, the lack of personal freedom, the mask you have to wear all the time because you aren't able to be your authentic self, the never getting to spend money on what YOU want, the loss of old friendships and lack of being able to make new ones because of her opinions, and on and on...WOW. Just amazing.
John, love your content. Your wisdom has proved more valuable than you can imagine. Thank you Brother. Love to you and our community, JM. P.S. Men, give yourself time to grieve. So critical and grieving is different (in timing) is independent. 👊🏼❤️✝️
I agree!!
@@davidhenryhudson3102 I feel for you. Deeply. So much to unpack with/at “emotional devastation”. I had to change my perspective. My ex-wife was once my queen. My prize. A social win as to be accepted by my peers. My one true love. At that time of my life, it was as true as the earth is round. This condition was in reality, unfair. As unfair as we view our parents as super human beings. Consider this David, “The Upside of Down”. Know this, I respect your devastation. I live my own. With this community of broken believers, John’s content is one of many voices. I pray for compassion. I too pray for my enemy of which brings about an understanding of the emotional devastation. At some point (whether it’s a man or woman) we have to get back to what makes our heart beat faster and press towards our continued contributions. I hope this response finds you well. Peace ☮️
Are there elk in the area you filmed this in? I swear I heard a cow call several times along about 23:30. Anyway, I enjoyed this video, thanks! I've been single for 24 years and I have married friends with much drama at times. It is a trade off. I wish I would have kids and now sometimes I'm lonely, even though I like being alone most of the time. Anyway, I do whatever I want and no one can stop me. I appreciated the vindication about being comfortable in my own skin. I think I have fully come into that awareness. I really don't care what other people think about me or my lifestyle. I lead a good, clean, honest life. I pay my taxes and bills and respect others. I don't break laws and try and help others when I can. All in all, life is what it is, and it is up to us to make it happy or not. Thanks!!
Long time viewer - love this video, it’s spot-on to what happened to me. Everyone, this is SO accurate!
Gotta say that I got lucky finding your videos at the exact right time. Im not going through a divorce yet, but I feel that it may be coming soon. Thank you for all of your videos, please keep uploading them. You are helping more men than you could possibly imagine.
13:15 sums it up.
I can see me coming back to this video several times. Going through it now, and this dude tells it like it is.
Good stuff, John.
Thanks
John, thank you so much for the great summary of values and reminders. You inspire to become a better and stronger person. I look forward to achieving many things in my life.
Hello there John. Agree with all you say here. In one word : Freedom!!
As a first time watcher, I thought this would be a bit of a wank message but I was wrong. I was divorced 13 years ago and at the time it was incredibly painful. Today I’m still single and I love my life! Sure I can at times ruminate on how I felt so let down but I quickly pull myself into line by expressing gratitude for being where I am today. Life is great 😎. Great to hear the very true and worthwhile positives to putting divorce in the past and inviting a positive future as a man 👍
Never married ,no kids at 52 i just dont see it happening ever...but what i traded it for it was....my time,hobbies,more $$$....n just overall me time....thanks john
It varies from individual to individual but being able to be self intimate without drama or guilt.
The grin on your face when you got to peace and quiet was epic.
After 16 years of marriage and financial abuse once I woke up out of my slumber and discovered myself worth and took control of my finances that’s when everything is falling apart and leading to divorce after being threatened with divorce for so long I don’t care what I lose I’m just happy to get my freedom time insanity back I know my kids will always love me and I’ll be there for them every day so I’m not worried
At 50 and single I’m living an incredible life , house paid free and clear , expenses very minimal, work on what I want when I want and take trips to places when and where I want. And as far as women are concerned they come and go but I never let them stick around long
For me, all of my goals are now reachable and life is peaceful and seems to take on more meaning.
Amazing breakdown! Great job, man. Thanks.
Peace, space, money, and half the thought process when making decisions FOR ONE person. Simplicity is amazing.
Hi John I’ve been listening to your videos now for several months. I relate so well because I love being single. I have to say that your ex wife was a real PAIN! A dollhouse room? Oh hell No. keep being single and keep making these videos. I appreciate you!
Thanks for your support!
This is one of the greatest videos I have ever heard. This guy sounds like I guy that checked all the boxes of being a “nice” guy. Then boom 💥, he grabbed his life back. Not worried about pleasing everyone, but not treating them bad either.
Thanks
Great video thanks John. You raised some great points, but the keyword is “freedom” as a single guy we have no idea how restrictive marriage is. How about these guys that keep getting married again and again? Take someone like Roger Moore who played James Bond for seven movies. He could’ve had any woman he wanted, but he got married four times. So what was he looking for??
Thank you, John, for this video. This was great and very insightful
This is BY FAR one of the most valuable pieces of content ever created regardless of platform…
I watched this 3 times & have been divorced and single for 3.5yrs now. You elaborated on the reality of what real happiness actually is and feels like & im so thankful I found this video! Success and nothing less to you with your most valuable currency on this earth… Your time! 💯
I am really happy that the video impacted you profoundly. Thanks for letting me know.
I am the woman, enjoying this channel and experiencing the same pleasure being divorced and being single.
Thanks for this channel, John
It’s been a couple of years now so it’s easy to forget. Occasionally the good idea fairy will come along and tell me it’s time to find someone again. Then I go to work and listen to my coworkers talk about their married lives. It has a real funny way of bringing a guys mind right back around to reality.
Amen, brother!!
Once in a while I get those few good memories pop up, random like a certain song. All I have to do is a reality check to what hell it really was 99% of the time. Men, keep a secret journal of every time she berates, insults, uses, manipulates, lies, projects, gaslights you. I was shocked when I read my journals of how many times every day I took the abuse. It solidified my resolve to leave, and when those stupid positive memories pop up, I just break out that journal and it shuts those few good memories down! Do it!
@@user-vm8ot3vg8mman I wish I had done that. I get those stupid happy memories pop up from time to time.
Hilarious
Love the model railroad part! Rite on thank you for sharing
I love that term “Born Again Bachelor.” That is exactly on-target.
It took me a couple of years after my divorce to quit viewing the termination of my marriage as “the end” and instead to see it as truly a new beginning.
Now that I’m 7 years past the divorce I can say that I absolutely am better off. More freedom. More disposable income. More peace. Much better health. Etc.
In the final years of my marriage I was on the road to dropping dead from obesity and heart disease. Now I’m 110 pounds lighter - much fitter - eating a Carnivore diet and living a very low-stress lifestyle. None of that would have happened if I had not divorced my wife and I’d likely be dead now.
Instead, I think I could live well into my 80’s or 90’s now. Life is good.
Great channel John, you have done a great job putting this together 👍
I rece tly spent $2500.00 on hiking back packing gear. Try that with a wife, by the way, walking thru the woods now feels like im driving a caddilac, and my $500 2 man tent is comfy as can be.
I heard for years from my ex “I resent you” and specifically about any hobby or activity that I did for myself like I was so terrible for doing it even though I did plenty around the house and for her. I had a reef aquarium for years and always loved it but of course she complained about it and gave me crap about the time and money I put into it even though I could afford it. Now I’m divorced and just got a new tank with no insecure wife to give me a hard time about it, what a pleasure.
Thank you for this.. I love your profound wisdom. I’m 47 n single and although I have a gf at the moment I may stay alone and live alone etc and won’t just submit to expectations … have a great day
Love your content John. Thank you for all your videos, I hope you can keep them flowing like this. M50 and now referring to myself as a reborn bachelor. Life is good.