I am sorry to hear about your Mom, Jen. It is never easy to lose a parent. My Dad died 6 yrs ago. We didn't always have the best relationship, but I loved him. My Mom was in the hospital a couple of weeks ago, and I have had to help her since she got home. We live together and I am doing most of the household chores now, along with working. It has been rough, but I take one day at a time.
I relate to so much of this. I work full time, our son is super active and involved in many things, my TH-cam is taking a backseat but in the grand scheme of things, that's totally fine. To be honest, once we get home for the night, we are sitting and watching TV which is good to relax but when I do that everyday, I don't get things done I need to. I'm just trying to find the right balance in life.
This was great! I could totally relate. Things get busy and everything slides. I work from home as well which is amazing but the expectations of what you can do on your breaks around the house will swamp you. I barely take lunch most days because I feel like someone will think I am slacking. I am starting the last 100 days with some boundaries and one is taking a lunch & not starting early. Hopefully that will give me a chance to take a walk & eat a solid meal. Hope you find some balance too! Love your channel and get inspiration from your content!
This was a message I needed to hear and I didn’t know it. It’s nice to know I’m not alone- i put everyone and everything first and then if I have time at 10pm to do something for me then I will but usually it’s to sleep. Thank you for sharing- brought me to tears- they weight is heavy yet I wouldn’t change my role - I’m so thankful but then feel bad for feeling exhausted. Work, OT,sports, supporting hubby with his own business and being the secretary/biller… 😴 thank you for always being real and pushing me to think logically❤
You look after you! I have been with you through the years and love your videos but we all want you to look after you. I am a working mom too with adult sons living at home. We can wait until you are ready for when or if you can post again.💗
Thanks for sharing Jen! Glad to hear you’re taking time to take care of yourself. I have been wondering how you were doing. I hear you - it’s so important that we take care of ourselves as well as our families first. I appreciate the tips in this video so much, although I would also watch you “blah blah blahing at the camera” haha 🥰
I can’t believe that in America Maternity leave us only 3 months. In Canada we can have 18 months that can be split between the parents. Great idea for that to be implemented in recent years.
@@Jen-Chapin bummer they won't swap em but good your eyes don't change fast right now!! Good deal! I also want to thank you for your honesty hon! There are some youngsters under you that might think you do all things like a breeze never realizing the Hurricaine about ready to sweep their their feet out from under them! You cover all the bases and do it quite responsibly as well! Thank you!
Jen, i have been subscribed to your channel for couple of years and i have watched lots of your videos. I think you are an amazing woman and such a good person . I have immense respect for you . Thank you for your honesty and transparency, it helps all of us. I also believe in taking care of our mental health and the importance of it in the quality of our lives. Thanks again for all you do.
Omg I love this video!! These past two years have taken its toll on me too. I’m a hairstylist and talk to a lot of ladies each day and let me tell you we are all in the same boat. I try to support these ladies, my family and my community and it’s a lot!! My children are 20 and 22 trying to make their way in this crazy world and that is also a huge stressor for me…..some days it’s just too much but I try to take one second at a time ❤️ Thank you for sharing. I love your channel and please never feel pressure to do TH-cam, we love you and totally understand ❤️
Something that my therapist said to me has really stuck and that is around the word 'should'. I should do this, I should feel that, I should not have said anything etc etc Every time I say 'should', I am judging myself against a self-imposed standard/expectation and making myself feel badly. If we listen to ourselves carefully it's amazing how often we say 'should'. Challenging myself every time I say it has really helped me see the unrealistic expectations I put on myself.
One of the reasons I love watching your videos is because you are honest & genuine. You don't sugarcoat things or pretend that your life is perfect. Life is hard at times. Life even sucks at times. You openly discuss what you're feeling & going thru & that makes you extra amazing in my book. Keep moving forward. Soon enough, all the laughter & good times will outweigh the bad.
Thanks, Jen. 🌼 Great information. Women are badasses. We all rock, and whatever our circumstance, we need to give each other a listening ear, a compassionate understanding conversation, and mutual encouragement. Perfection in life is unattainable, and unnecessary to strive for…being the best we can be, and just doing the best we can each day, is good. Time is so crucial and limited…more important than any dollars we make, for sure. Whatever we commit to, if it costs us our peace (and well-being) it’s too expensive. We are all here in full support of you, and your channel, no matter how often you post. As you say, you are your best advocate, take care of you first, so you feel good to share your precious time with others. Abrazos! 🌼🌺🌸
As much as I enjoy your content, your well-being is so much more important. My Mom died of brain cancer in March 2019. I totally understand your feelings of burnout and appreciate your candor. Life changes and seasons come and go. Thank you for this video.
Jen, I doubt that I will ever get this life thing figured out. Women just get plain tired, because nobody pays attention to all the little tideous things we do on a normal basis. We pretty much are the glue that seem to hold everything together - even though there are times we feel as if we are falling apart. Have faith my love. I try to have faith every day. It's not always the answer, but it helps. Everything will be alright. Things al always have a way of working themselves out.❤️😘🙏
We love u Jen, just do what u can and put yourself and family first! We will be here to support u 110% when your ready❤ I always wondered how you just do so much more than others. U always pour so much into each vid and they are all so helpful and not always the same old Star bucks runs and complaining about your life! You are a very positive person and it definitely shines through. I love and look forward to each time u upload and it always makes for a better day! God bless you and your family with good health and happiness and you take all the time you need to relax and enjoy your life with your family! We will be waiting to support you when u feel like you have the time and energy! We care about u Jen💕💕💕
Thank you for speaking up about what you are dealing with! I think you are amazing! It hurts when a content creator just drops off and never to hear from them again! I understand you all owe us nothing but then you think of this. We spend time watching you and listening to you, which is a part of my life! So you are so appreciated for your dedication. Take care, cut yourself some slack! Thank you for being you. Lori Mc From Atlanta!
Condolences on the loss of your parent. Sounds like you may be having some anxiety which is common with grief. I’m new here, so do what you need to keep it together. Therapy always helpful, but it’s such a commitment. Can do online nowadays. Lookup Esther Perel on TH-cam, she has great insight on how much imbalance there are in relationships these days, and where the imbalance originates from.
I feel your pain. Working in healthcare is especially bad lately. I’m taking a week off on the 10th. Not because I’m doing anything in particular but just need a break. Take care!!! The burnout is real!
I also lost my mom in December of 2021, and can only describe it as being in the world without an anchor...it feels quite strange. I relate so much to your feelings as a working mom and navigating life with so much going on. Thanks so much for your transparency and willingness to share!
As a 45+hr a week working mom in the 90s - 2010 my advise is don't feel guilty to tell your kids no....especially with extracurricular activities. I wanted my kids to all they wanted to do but there are only so many hours in a day. The most important thing is to provide for your family & if that means they can only do I extra activity that's how it has to be. We have become such a "gotta have it, gotta do it" society. I think it's sad since kids seem so overstimulated with the good things vs the life skills things. Not judging just voicing my opinion. BTW my mom & other immediate family thought my kids were coddled. BTW Jen....I think you are way too hard on yourself. You owe nothing to us....stay healthy & do what you can do. Families & self care are more important than TH-cam!
I love your honesty..... I started struggling during the pandemic and I'm still trying to get back on track. I'm a single mom and find it refreshing when in some of your videos I see you doing things such as using paper plates etc and telling people not to hate on you for it. It shows me I'm not the only that needs to cut corners to get things done. Stay strong. You are doing awesome.
I so appreciate your transparency. I found you a few years ago when I went back to work. You are such a breathe of fresh air on TH-cam, because you work outside the home. I don’t enjoy cooking, so your channel really inspires me to cook food, rather than relying on frozen food. Thank you for talking about all of these things!
Jen I FEEEEELLL THIS SO HARD- I can absolutely vouch for the working momma overwhelm- and it’s terrible. I’m going into a new job next week which is I know going to be even more of challenge with my time than before. The good thing is the past month being on PTO and holy hell I could actually handle kiddo stuffs, the lunch packing, the cleaning, the cooking, the doctor/dental appts, errands of all sorts - omg it’s been glorious lol!! The invisible mental load- I hear that big time. I support you and feel you and all the other parents who work inside and outside the home. It is hard for all us moms! Sending uplifting vibes and cheering for you and us all from the Midwest! ❤ we all ROCK!
Thank you so much for sharing. You have been helping me through a rough patch. You are making great choices, As a teacher I saw too many families where they didn’t do things together. I’m glad there are more videos coming.
Jen, your five tips ring so true from my experience of 30years in the classroom. Keep those boundaries and surround yourself with loved ones. Life is too gd hard almost always. And, btw, your comment section filled with strong women is such an uplift! 😍😍😘😘😘🍂🍂🍁🍁🍂
Thanks for talking about this. I've been struggling with depression anxiety and I don't know what else for a few years. I finally reached out for help. Just had my first therapy session and let me tell you that taking that step to ask for help was so scary and stressful but I feel so much better already knowing that I'm doing something to get the help I need.
Sometimes I think we just need to delegate some of these tasks to our partners! It doesn’t occur to me often enough to do so and I find myself taking on a much heavier load of duties than my husband, but if I just ask, he’s always willing to take on more. It just doesn’t occur to our partners sometimes what needs to be done.
THANK YOU FOR THIS. I felt all your words right in my heart! Full time working Mom of a 3 and 6 year olds here. And of course a 2 year old adorable/energetic puppy. I.am.tired. Haha. My head is always in the verge of exploding from remembering everything. This was very helpful to hear and know that we are not alone in our feelings.
People say family first meaning children but I feel me first so I can take care of everybody else without feeling overwhelmed. It may sound selfish but in the long run everyone benefits.
This is a really good video. I’ve missed seeing you as much, but I totally support you’re need and desire for a break. As women we often forget ourselves in the hustle. It’s important to remember we matter and we can’t be as effective at anything if we’re worn down. Great topic!!
I'm not even half way through and I really feel it.. you always seem to be so so relatable... I swear you could be my therapist!!!! Seriously though when I found out I have OCD my therapist showed me in a medical book the EXACT same thoughts I was having... always remember when your going thru hell.. you just keep going in order to come out of it.. you truly help people from your own experience... keep being you!
I am a working mom of two overachieving high school athletes, currently going through a second reorganization in 3 months at the job I have loved for 25 years. I spoke to two coworkers yesterday - one very glass half empty and the other very glass positive glass half full - it reminded me that the more I choose to spend time and energy with happy positive people them more I will feel that energy too. I found the book Burnout - The 22 Most Effective Methods to Recover from Burnout by Declan Evans simple and helpful.
Burnout is no joke and it sounds like you are taking charge of your own well being. I appreciated that you signed up for Group Coaching! I was burned out years ago and hired a Coach. Ended up becoming a Coach! I am now 14 years in and love it. It really does help you make small and large changes, get some profound awareness of self and choices, and take action to move you forward. Anyway, I always appreciate your videos and don’t mind if there are fewer of them. Love Milo too!
Thank you for being transparent! I’ve been watching you for a while and noticed you haven’t been posting as much. Please know that your health and well-being is most important. Please take care of yourself! We as moms do have to be Superwoman and it is not fair! I hope that you find your balance in it all! Praying 🙏🏿 for you.
So much of what you said hit home. I also lost a parent a few years ago, we had a shakey relationship and when he died I think the hardest part was the chance of us repairing the relationship died too. I am a nurse practitioner and had been feeling burnt out for some time. Work had been increasingly busier, the pandemic, etc not to mention kids/home and all the other things that fall on my plate- it had been too much. I finally got a new job and am hoping it will help. I love your recommendations, I too use a paper planner and highly recommend some type of planning system. All this to say, these videos are why I like your content-very relatable!!
Hi, Jen! I learned of your channel a while back from Christine at Frugal Fit Mom. I've been watching your videos since, and I love them. I really needed this video today. My husband and I will be celebrating 21 years married and 25 years together next month (and I'm only 39 - lol). We have 4 kids. Our middle 2 are on the spectrum and our youngest (kindergartener) has ADHD. My husband works full time outside the home, and I work full time from home. I have 2 part-time jobs. One is steady and salary. The second is hourly. I work between 40 and 60 hours most weeks on and off all day because I have to work around the kids and cooking and bla blah blah. I never feel like I'm actually"off", and I'm just really tired. I just really appreciated this video so much. As cliche as it sounds, it made me feel not alone in my feelings about how hard things can get. Since school started back, I've experienced some burnout. The kids have separate school schedules so I'm going to the bus to get someone on or off 4 times a day. I keep up with all the appointments and school events and pictures and on and on. I'm very fortunate to have my husband and he does a lot, but I really related to what you said about everything falling to moms by default. It really does. I do all the finances and groceries and meal planning, too. I'm simultaneously working, paying bills, and putting together a meal plan and Walmart grocery pickup order right now. Anyways, just thank you for this video and all your others. I just wanted to let you know that you've had a positive impact on my day and my life. ❤️
I recently came off my mental health medication so I can switch to another and I hit the biggest wall I’ve ever hit. I had also just gone back to work after being home for a year and I’m honestly still struggling. Thank you for being so honest and open about this. It’s something I very much dreaded when considering going back to work. Not two months in and I’ve already lost my sitter and am faced with possibly needing to quit my job already. It’s just so much on a person, even if your partner is very hands on
"We have unrealistic views of what people actually do in their lives because of social media." DING DING DING!!!! This! This is such a true statement. I have to remember that we're only getting the shiny, glossy, pretty view of people's lives on social media. IT IS CURATED TO BE THE BEST, MOST POLISHED VIEW. I love TH-camrs like you, See Mindy Mom, and Frugal Fit Mom because you guys SHOW what goes into making that curated view for us, so we know, it's not all roses! We know how hard you guys have to work to get those videos up and in timely manner, and to make it look polished! Thank you for always being so genuine with us! You're doing amazing! Burnout is a b*tch. Thank you for sharing how you're trying to combat it! I'm hoping to implement some of these into my daily life. Big hugs from your internet family!
God bless you! You can't help others if you don't help you!!- Coming from a hospital RN of 41years, 3 weeks, 6 days and. 10.5 hours.😂. Burn out for me comes and goes in waves. Thank Goodness for vacation days! Prayers coming to you and yours from a fellow Iowa girl. Thanks for sharing Jen!!🙏💖😄
Jen, this is such a great video! The last 2 years has really opened my eyes to the Yeses and No's and realizing that I do have to look out for myself because no one else is going to do that for me! Thank you for saying what so many of us feel and live with each and every day as women.
I’m a clinic manager. So burned out and two weeks ago told I will be relocated to support 3 clinics that are an hour to an hour and a half one way. I’m heartbroken and don’t know how I’m going to do this with my son. Will make the same hourly pay, but with gas, toll fees and an extra 2 to 3 hours away from home.😢
Jen..this video is spot on I think for so many people…I am an RN as well, I feel that as an oncology nurse I haven’t truly found my calling yet…I have been doing oncology 6 years now… I do work with a couple RNs that need to have the proverbial lime light all the time. I have talked to my manager about being left out for opportunities because I am not loud and unprofessional in the work area in front of the patients, it’s just not my style. I am an older hardworking professional, with good morals and ethics and cannot bring myself to their level, just not my style. Just frustrating…..
I'm currently researching setting up a membership for my website. You were one of a few women on TH-cam has very much so inspired me to start my own channel!
Can we dig into why you feel that posting once a week is unacceptable? I think you’re setting unrealistic expectations for yourself. I am so proud of you for recognizing that you’re having a hard time.❤ My grandmother and grandfather passed away last year. Loss is incredibly hard to accept, and even harder when you feel like you couldn’t express yourself to that person. I’m sorry you’re struggling and I hope sharing helped.
Thank you so much for posting this video and for doing it in classic Jen Chapin style: with research and data, personal anecdotes, and really practical advice. As a working mom, the point you made that resonated with me the most is how working mothers get penalized at work and in their careers for not being able to devote 110% of themselves to their jobs 100% of the time. I have experienced this first-hand (while working for a Big 3 professional services firm), and it is infuriating. I'll never forget getting a bad performance review after I returned from maternity leave, while my son was an infant, and my boss commented that my performance was off and that I seemed disengaged. My son was in daycare, sick all the time, and not sleeping through the night, so of course, I was not operating at peak performance. I left that job so fast and moved on to much bigger and better things. But I digress... Anyway...Jen, I adore your videos and have so much respect and admiration for all that you do. My unsolicited advice to you: Cut yourself some slack, girlfriend! I know you have high expectations of yourself, but if you only get one video up during any given week, it ain't the end of the world, especially with all that you've been dealing with this year. We (your fans/subscribers) know all the plates you're spinning. With all the travel you've had to do for work (it's so disruptive to our routines) and everything else you've been dealing with this year, it's no wonder you feel burned out. It seems - judging by the comments (and my own personal experience with burnout at the moment) - that you are in good company. Take care of yourself. And thanks for all that you do.
Lost my Momma October 3, 2021. Lost my mother in law January 4, 2022. Such a hard heart time. I’m a stay at home Momma myself… high school and middle school kiddos. I find September very overwhelming. Take care Jennifer Xoxo Thank you for everything you’re doing. ❤
My mom passed on new years day 2022 from Covid. She was on hospice but doing very well, got covid on thursday and died saturday afternoon. SHe said "Covid is no joke. I don't know if I can recover from this." I was 500 miles away when she died. 2022 has been a blur. I'm broken emotionally, physically and completely. We were very close and she was close to my kids. I hate this year, I really really hate it. Sending you love.
GIRL! I understand. I really do. I am a mom of four children, ages 6-(almost)16. I am a licensed architect juggling millions of dollars in projects at work as well. Sometimes it gets to be to much. Well, it IS to much. I am treading water and trying to prioritize rest and preparation on the weekends. I am doing the best I can.
I’m no longer a working mom but a retired empty nest widow and I can relate to EVERYTHING you said here. Just do what you can! You own the world (Internet) nothing ❤
Thank you for your transparency Jen. I can relate to your feelings of burn out because I’ve been dealing with that a lot myself when it comes to doing theatre. I have been going to counseling since before COVID 19 started and it has really helped me a lot. I am sorry to hear about your mom passing away. Sending you love my friend.❤
Wow thank you Jen. I have been subscribed for several years barely comment but absolutely agree thank you for sharing very informative and inspiring. The very reason I subbed to your channel in the first place. 💖💖💖
I hope you get better🤗 I understand. I'm a single full time working mum of two. Worst part that I never have free time or money to do something nice. And I hate my work😄 In Finland payed maternity leave is 9 months.
Thank you for posting this! I felt this a lot today - school started recently and I had to return to the office for work. Then top it with two kids and activities 3 days a week and sometimes weekends. Tank is empty … and if my husband asks me one more time why I’m so short tempered and cranky at the end of the night I think I may eat his face. 😂
So I have this on and off all the time but it has gotten particularly worse since my girls have grown up and moved out. So I’m an empty Nester at 41 which is super weird but I started early. It’s just me and my husband we’re not that old so I just figured I would fill in my time with a second job to keep busy. I was only going to do part time initially And then it’s like in the healthcare field taking care of people and I felt guilty for saying no so now I’m at the point where I’m working two full-time jobs and I never see my husband. That burn out is compounding the issue that I do have my own mental health issues from how I was raised and things I’ve been through since And now I’m starting to seek some therapy and dialing back my work schedule and learning how to say no. I’m not saying that I do it without guilt but I’m doing it here and there which is a huge step for me.
I got teary eyed when spoke about your mom. Terrified of when I will one day lose mine. So, I was looking at my youtube comment history and noticed a small handful of your older videos had gone private. Was wondering why?
Jen u are one of my faves on Utube ur a strong woman n I've been watching for yrs now .Ur funny u crack me up , u have a great laugh it's so sweet n cute ... Ur so truthful n I like that about u so much ! I enjoy ur videos ur traveling it's neat to watch n where ur going n what ur doing on ur job . I love seeing Murphy n the new puppy n ur kids are so great kids n ue hubby when u talk to each other ur lil funny laughter's n kidding around u guys make me laugh ur such a good team u two ... I know u had a diffecult relationship with ur Mom . N it must be hard to lose her even though u two had problems . She still was ur Mom , n we're all not perfect u no ... I can just feel ur pain though when u speak about her . I'm sorry to hear she passed away with Covid . I'm sure u working in the medical field with work u must of tried to explain to her too. We had a relative to that wasn't a believer how dangerous Covid is . I just want to say we adore u n we appreciate ur videos n we understand ur burnout . N if u ever need to take a break from Utube we understand . Ur health n ur family are more important then anything ... As women we won't to support u n be there for u ok ! This is why I watch u n like u dearly Jen cause ur so real not fake . U take care n ty for sharing this with us we appreciate u being truthful ... Luv ya Jen 🦋
This is me right now. As I was talking to my friend, we realized that we all are not OK, even the kids. It has been one thing after another these past two weeks. I just need a moment to catch my breath. 😢
Hi Jen, question, I’m also a nurse consultant for the state, I primarily do infectious disease . What type of consultant do you do? That would take you to hospitals and such?
I've noticed that there is something off for you in the last few months. I hope you're still spending time with your sister and step-dad. Air travel is hard. I work in the airline industry with the most frequent flyers. Hugs
I think you need to bring back “closet talks” 😃. Sometimes just talking out loud about the things that you are struggling with helps. Not to mention that maybe someone has some advice that may help with that struggle.
Dear Jen. You do what you need to do to make sure you take care of you. You can't take care of no one else if you're not healthy both mentally and physicaly. Do not worry about us, you are the most important person in your life. At least you should be. Take care xxx
From one working mom to another, I feel you, I see you and I hear you. We all need our village and tribe. I found mine inform of Facebook group. Thank you for all you do.
Jen we all have these days ... we as women can do it all so we think we can but, our bodies dnt think so lol... Ya we all get tired it's only normal ... Dnt feel bad about it we all get this way like I said it's normal ...🦋
I am on Facebook and Instagram, when I remember that, I limit my time on social media to twice a day, early in the morning, later at night. As I find it too toxic at times, Love you Hen.
When you said no one will look out for you as well as you will yourself, I had to laugh. My husband is extremely protective of my time and where I put my energy into. I’m much more easily swayed into taking on more than I should, but he helps me see where I can help and when shouldn’t extend myself. I told him I think it’s self preservation coming out in him. If I’m over worked and overwhelmed, it usually means our home life doesn’t run as smoothly. I appreciate this content and all your videos!
It's okay to say you're not okay. We appreciate you being transparent. It's one of the things drew me to your channel.
I am sorry to hear about your Mom, Jen. It is never easy to lose a parent. My Dad died 6 yrs ago. We didn't always have the best relationship, but I loved him. My Mom was in the hospital a couple of weeks ago, and I have had to help her since she got home. We live together and I am doing most of the household chores now, along with working. It has been rough, but I take one day at a time.
I feel the struggle with you!!!
Something has to give that isn’t your family or your health!!!
I relate to so much of this. I work full time, our son is super active and involved in many things, my TH-cam is taking a backseat but in the grand scheme of things, that's totally fine. To be honest, once we get home for the night, we are sitting and watching TV which is good to relax but when I do that everyday, I don't get things done I need to. I'm just trying to find the right balance in life.
Well done as always! Thank you for being REAL!
This was great! I could totally relate. Things get busy and everything slides. I work from home as well which is amazing but the expectations of what you can do on your breaks around the house will swamp you. I barely take lunch most days because I feel like someone will think I am slacking. I am starting the last 100 days with some boundaries and one is taking a lunch & not starting early. Hopefully that will give me a chance to take a walk & eat a solid meal. Hope you find some balance too! Love your channel and get inspiration from your content!
I work from home too and have started to take my lunch away from my computer! Life changing!
Appreciate you opening up ❤
This was a message I needed to hear and I didn’t know it. It’s nice to know I’m not alone- i put everyone and everything first and then if I have time at 10pm to do something for me then I will but usually it’s to sleep. Thank you for sharing- brought me to tears- they weight is heavy yet I wouldn’t change my role - I’m so thankful but then feel bad for feeling exhausted. Work, OT,sports, supporting hubby with his own business and being the secretary/biller… 😴 thank you for always being real and pushing me to think logically❤
I love the fact that you have Milo on a schedule! That is amazing!!
Thank you for always being honest with us. The pressure of trying to be the perfect mom and wife can be overwhelming. 😊💕
We all have those times Jen. Since the pandemic and other things that happened Jan 6 I have anxiety. 🤗
My "mother" died on August 14th. We had a very estranged relationship for 36 years. I completely understand what you are saying.
You look after you! I have been with you through the years and love your videos but we all want you to look after you. I am a working mom too with adult sons living at home. We can wait until you are ready for when or if you can post again.💗
Thank you, Jenn. Love you. ❤️
Thanks for sharing Jen! Glad to hear you’re taking time to take care of yourself. I have been wondering how you were doing. I hear you - it’s so important that we take care of ourselves as well as our families first. I appreciate the tips in this video so much, although I would also watch you “blah blah blahing at the camera” haha 🥰
Love this video. Thank you.
Great chat 🥰
I can’t believe that in America Maternity leave us only 3 months. In Canada we can have 18 months that can be split between the parents. Great idea for that to be implemented in recent years.
I'm just a stay at home mom trying to stay sane 😩 therapy is soon to be back in my life.
Jen, what happens if your prescription changes? Will they change out all of the lens in all of your glasses?
Hi! No, they won't. I have found that my Rx changes so gradually each year that I can still wear glasses from 3-4 years ago, not a huge deal :)
@@Jen-Chapin bummer they won't swap em but good your eyes don't change fast right now!! Good deal! I also want to thank you for your honesty hon! There are some youngsters under you that might think you do all things like a breeze never realizing the Hurricaine about ready to sweep their their feet out from under them! You cover all the bases and do it quite responsibly as well! Thank you!
Jen, i have been subscribed to your channel for couple of years and i have watched lots of your videos. I think you are an amazing woman and such a good person . I have immense respect for you . Thank you for your honesty and transparency, it helps all of us. I also believe in taking care of our mental health and the importance of it in the quality of our lives. Thanks again for all you do.
Omg I love this video!! These past two years have taken its toll on me too. I’m a hairstylist and talk to a lot of ladies each day and let me tell you we are all in the same boat. I try to support these ladies, my family and my community and it’s a lot!! My children are 20 and 22 trying to make their way in this crazy world and that is also a huge stressor for me…..some days it’s just too much but I try to take one second at a time ❤️ Thank you for sharing. I love your channel and please never feel pressure to do TH-cam, we love you and totally understand ❤️
I feel this!
Something that my therapist said to me has really stuck and that is around the word 'should'. I should do this, I should feel that, I should not have said anything etc etc Every time I say 'should', I am judging myself against a self-imposed standard/expectation and making myself feel badly. If we listen to ourselves carefully it's amazing how often we say 'should'. Challenging myself every time I say it has really helped me see the unrealistic expectations I put on myself.
Yes! Don’t “should all over yourself” 😂
Should, Would & Could ALL ‘Control Words’. Said to Self or to Others it conveys an ‘I know & You don’t’.
One of the reasons I love watching your videos is because you are honest & genuine. You don't sugarcoat things or pretend that your life is perfect. Life is hard at times. Life even sucks at times. You openly discuss what you're feeling & going thru & that makes you extra amazing in my book. Keep moving forward. Soon enough, all the laughter & good times will outweigh the bad.
Thanks, Jen. 🌼
Great information.
Women are badasses.
We all rock, and whatever our circumstance, we need to give each other a listening ear, a compassionate understanding conversation, and mutual encouragement.
Perfection in life is unattainable, and unnecessary to strive for…being the best we can be, and just doing the best we can each day, is good.
Time is so crucial and limited…more important than any dollars we make, for sure.
Whatever we commit to, if it costs us our peace (and well-being) it’s too expensive.
We are all here in full support of you, and your channel, no matter how often you post. As you say, you are your best advocate, take care of you first, so you feel good to share your precious time with others. Abrazos! 🌼🌺🌸
I’m sorry to hear about the passing of your mom. ❤❤. Thank you for sharing and making the video.
As much as I enjoy your content, your well-being is so much more important. My Mom died of brain cancer in March 2019. I totally understand your feelings of burnout and appreciate your candor. Life changes and seasons come and go. Thank you for this video.
Jen, I doubt that I will ever get this life thing figured out. Women just get plain tired, because nobody pays attention to all the little tideous things we do on a normal basis. We pretty much are the glue that seem to hold everything together - even though there are times we feel as if we are falling apart. Have faith my love. I try to have faith every day. It's not always the answer, but it helps. Everything will be alright. Things al always have a way of working themselves out.❤️😘🙏
We love u Jen, just do what u can and put yourself and family first! We will be here to support u 110% when your ready❤ I always wondered how you just do so much more than others. U always pour so much into each vid and they are all so helpful and not always the same old Star bucks runs and complaining about your life! You are a very positive person and it definitely shines through. I love and look forward to each time u upload and it always makes for a better day!
God bless you and your family with good health and happiness and you take all the time you need to relax and enjoy your life with your family! We will be waiting to support you when u feel like you have the time and energy!
We care about u Jen💕💕💕
Thank you for speaking up about what you are dealing with! I think you are amazing! It hurts when a content creator just drops off and never to hear from them again! I understand you all owe us nothing but then you think of this. We spend time watching you and listening to you, which is a part of my life! So you are so appreciated for your dedication. Take care, cut yourself some slack! Thank you for being you.
Lori Mc
From Atlanta!
Condolences on the loss of your parent. Sounds like you may be having some anxiety which is common with grief. I’m new here, so do what you need to keep it together. Therapy always helpful, but it’s such a commitment. Can do online nowadays. Lookup Esther Perel on TH-cam, she has great insight on how much imbalance there are in relationships these days, and where the imbalance originates from.
I feel your pain. Working in healthcare is especially bad lately. I’m taking a week off on the 10th. Not because I’m doing anything in particular but just need a break. Take care!!! The burnout is real!
I also lost my mom in December of 2021, and can only describe it as being in the world without an anchor...it feels quite strange. I relate so much to your feelings as a working mom and navigating life with so much going on. Thanks so much for your transparency and willingness to share!
Thank you for sharing - I’m sorry for your loss ❤️
As a 45+hr a week working mom in the 90s - 2010 my advise is don't feel guilty to tell your kids no....especially with extracurricular activities. I wanted my kids to all they wanted to do but there are only so many hours in a day. The most important thing is to provide for your family & if that means they can only do I extra activity that's how it has to be. We have become such a "gotta have it, gotta do it" society. I think it's sad since kids seem so overstimulated with the good things vs the life skills things. Not judging just voicing my opinion. BTW my mom & other immediate family thought my kids were coddled. BTW Jen....I think you are way too hard on yourself. You owe nothing to us....stay healthy & do what you can do. Families & self care are more important than TH-cam!
Tysm! I tell my kids no a lot....hahaha :)
I love your honesty..... I started struggling during the pandemic and I'm still trying to get back on track. I'm a single mom and find it refreshing when in some of your videos I see you doing things such as using paper plates etc and telling people not to hate on you for it. It shows me I'm not the only that needs to cut corners to get things done. Stay strong. You are doing awesome.
I so appreciate your transparency. I found you a few years ago when I went back to work. You are such a breathe of fresh air on TH-cam, because you work outside the home. I don’t enjoy cooking, so your channel really inspires me to cook food, rather than relying on frozen food. Thank you for talking about all of these things!
Jen I FEEEEELLL THIS SO HARD- I can absolutely vouch for the working momma overwhelm- and it’s terrible. I’m going into a new job next week which is I know going to be even more of challenge with my time than before. The good thing is the past month being on PTO and holy hell I could actually handle kiddo stuffs, the lunch packing, the cleaning, the cooking, the doctor/dental appts, errands of all sorts - omg it’s been glorious lol!! The invisible mental load- I hear that big time. I support you and feel you and all the other parents who work inside and outside the home. It is hard for all us moms! Sending uplifting vibes and cheering for you and us all from the Midwest! ❤ we all ROCK!
Thank you so much for sharing. You have been helping me through a rough patch. You are making great choices, As a teacher I saw too many families where they didn’t do things together. I’m glad there are more videos coming.
Jen, your five tips ring so true from my experience of 30years in the classroom. Keep those boundaries and surround yourself with loved ones. Life is too gd hard almost always. And, btw, your comment section filled with strong women is such an uplift! 😍😍😘😘😘🍂🍂🍁🍁🍂
Thanks for talking about this. I've been struggling with depression anxiety and I don't know what else for a few years. I finally reached out for help. Just had my first therapy session and let me tell you that taking that step to ask for help was so scary and stressful but I feel so much better already knowing that I'm doing something to get the help I need.
Sometimes I think we just need to delegate some of these tasks to our partners! It doesn’t occur to me often enough to do so and I find myself taking on a much heavier load of duties than my husband, but if I just ask, he’s always willing to take on more. It just doesn’t occur to our partners sometimes what needs to be done.
THANK YOU FOR THIS.
I felt all your words right in my heart!
Full time working Mom of a 3 and 6 year olds here. And of course a 2 year old adorable/energetic puppy. I.am.tired. Haha.
My head is always in the verge of exploding from remembering everything.
This was very helpful to hear and know that we are not alone in our feelings.
People say family first meaning children but I feel me first so I can take care of everybody else without feeling overwhelmed. It may sound selfish but in the long run everyone benefits.
This is a really good video. I’ve missed seeing you as much, but I totally support you’re need and desire for a break. As women we often forget ourselves in the hustle. It’s important to remember we matter and we can’t be as effective at anything if we’re worn down. Great topic!!
I'm not even half way through and I really feel it.. you always seem to be so so relatable... I swear you could be my therapist!!!! Seriously though when I found out I have OCD my therapist showed me in a medical book the EXACT same thoughts I was having... always remember when your going thru hell.. you just keep going in order to come out of it.. you truly help people from your own experience... keep being you!
Please please please always take care of yourself first. We will understand and will enjoy the videos you do share.
I am a working mom of two overachieving high school athletes, currently going through a second reorganization in 3 months at the job I have loved for 25 years. I spoke to two coworkers yesterday - one very glass half empty and the other very glass positive glass half full - it reminded me that the more I choose to spend time and energy with happy positive people them more I will feel that energy too. I found the book Burnout - The 22 Most Effective Methods to Recover from Burnout by Declan Evans simple and helpful.
Just here to say I feel you! Although I am not a "working mom", I get it. I hope you find your balance and feel better girl!
Burnout is no joke and it sounds like you are taking charge of your own well being. I appreciated that you signed up for Group Coaching! I was burned out years ago and hired a Coach. Ended up becoming a Coach! I am now 14 years in and love it. It really does help you make small and large changes, get some profound awareness of self and choices, and take action to move you forward. Anyway, I always appreciate your videos and don’t mind if there are fewer of them. Love Milo too!
Thank you for being transparent! I’ve been watching you for a while and noticed you haven’t been posting as much. Please know that your health and well-being is most important. Please take care of yourself! We as moms do have to be Superwoman and it is not fair! I hope that you find your balance in it all! Praying 🙏🏿 for you.
The Mat leave BLOWS MY F’IN MIND!!! I had a year ffs! And my husband was given a month by his employer to be with me in that time too.
Take care Jen! Sending you lots of love from Belgium
So much of what you said hit home. I also lost a parent a few years ago, we had a shakey relationship and when he died I think the hardest part was the chance of us repairing the relationship died too.
I am a nurse practitioner and had been feeling burnt out for some time. Work had been increasingly busier, the pandemic, etc not to mention kids/home and all the other things that fall on my plate- it had been too much. I finally got a new job and am hoping it will help. I love your recommendations, I too use a paper planner and highly recommend some type of planning system. All this to say, these videos are why I like your content-very relatable!!
Hi, Jen! I learned of your channel a while back from Christine at Frugal Fit Mom. I've been watching your videos since, and I love them. I really needed this video today.
My husband and I will be celebrating 21 years married and 25 years together next month (and I'm only 39 - lol). We have 4 kids. Our middle 2 are on the spectrum and our youngest (kindergartener) has ADHD. My husband works full time outside the home, and I work full time from home. I have 2 part-time jobs. One is steady and salary. The second is hourly. I work between 40 and 60 hours most weeks on and off all day because I have to work around the kids and cooking and bla blah blah. I never feel like I'm actually"off", and I'm just really tired. I just really appreciated this video so much. As cliche as it sounds, it made me feel not alone in my feelings about how hard things can get. Since school started back, I've experienced some burnout. The kids have separate school schedules so I'm going to the bus to get someone on or off 4 times a day. I keep up with all the appointments and school events and pictures and on and on. I'm very fortunate to have my husband and he does a lot, but I really related to what you said about everything falling to moms by default. It really does. I do all the finances and groceries and meal planning, too. I'm simultaneously working, paying bills, and putting together a meal plan and Walmart grocery pickup order right now.
Anyways, just thank you for this video and all your others. I just wanted to let you know that you've had a positive impact on my day and my life. ❤️
I recently came off my mental health medication so I can switch to another and I hit the biggest wall I’ve ever hit. I had also just gone back to work after being home for a year and I’m honestly still struggling. Thank you for being so honest and open about this. It’s something I very much dreaded when considering going back to work. Not two months in and I’ve already lost my sitter and am faced with possibly needing to quit my job already. It’s just so much on a person, even if your partner is very hands on
"We have unrealistic views of what people actually do in their lives because of social media." DING DING DING!!!! This! This is such a true statement. I have to remember that we're only getting the shiny, glossy, pretty view of people's lives on social media. IT IS CURATED TO BE THE BEST, MOST POLISHED VIEW. I love TH-camrs like you, See Mindy Mom, and Frugal Fit Mom because you guys SHOW what goes into making that curated view for us, so we know, it's not all roses! We know how hard you guys have to work to get those videos up and in timely manner, and to make it look polished!
Thank you for always being so genuine with us! You're doing amazing! Burnout is a b*tch. Thank you for sharing how you're trying to combat it! I'm hoping to implement some of these into my daily life. Big hugs from your internet family!
God bless you! You can't help others if you don't help you!!- Coming from a hospital RN of 41years, 3 weeks, 6 days and. 10.5 hours.😂. Burn out for me comes and goes in waves. Thank Goodness for vacation days! Prayers coming to you and yours from a fellow Iowa girl. Thanks for sharing Jen!!🙏💖😄
Jen, this is such a great video! The last 2 years has really opened my eyes to the Yeses and No's and realizing that I do have to look out for myself because no one else is going to do that for me! Thank you for saying what so many of us feel and live with each and every day as women.
I so agree w this!
I’m a clinic manager. So burned out and two weeks ago told I will be relocated to support 3 clinics that are an hour to an hour and a half one way. I’m heartbroken and don’t know how I’m going to do this with my son. Will make the same hourly pay, but with gas, toll fees and an extra 2 to 3 hours away from home.😢
I am so sorry, hugs to you!
Jen..this video is spot on I think for so many people…I am an RN as well, I feel that as an oncology nurse I haven’t truly found my calling yet…I have been doing oncology 6 years now… I do work with a couple RNs that need to have the proverbial lime light all the time. I have talked to my manager about being left out for opportunities because I am not loud and unprofessional in the work area in front of the patients, it’s just not my style. I am an older hardworking professional, with good morals and ethics and cannot bring myself to their level, just not my style. Just frustrating…..
I'm currently researching setting up a membership for my website. You were one of a few women on TH-cam has very much so inspired me to start my own channel!
Can we dig into why you feel that posting once a week is unacceptable? I think you’re setting unrealistic expectations for yourself.
I am so proud of you for recognizing that you’re having a hard time.❤
My grandmother and grandfather passed away last year. Loss is incredibly hard to accept, and even harder when you feel like you couldn’t express yourself to that person.
I’m sorry you’re struggling and I hope sharing helped.
Thank you so much for posting this video and for doing it in classic Jen Chapin style: with research and data, personal anecdotes, and really practical advice. As a working mom, the point you made that resonated with me the most is how working mothers get penalized at work and in their careers for not being able to devote 110% of themselves to their jobs 100% of the time. I have experienced this first-hand (while working for a Big 3 professional services firm), and it is infuriating. I'll never forget getting a bad performance review after I returned from maternity leave, while my son was an infant, and my boss commented that my performance was off and that I seemed disengaged. My son was in daycare, sick all the time, and not sleeping through the night, so of course, I was not operating at peak performance. I left that job so fast and moved on to much bigger and better things. But I digress... Anyway...Jen, I adore your videos and have so much respect and admiration for all that you do. My unsolicited advice to you: Cut yourself some slack, girlfriend! I know you have high expectations of yourself, but if you only get one video up during any given week, it ain't the end of the world, especially with all that you've been dealing with this year. We (your fans/subscribers) know all the plates you're spinning. With all the travel you've had to do for work (it's so disruptive to our routines) and everything else you've been dealing with this year, it's no wonder you feel burned out. It seems - judging by the comments (and my own personal experience with burnout at the moment) - that you are in good company. Take care of yourself. And thanks for all that you do.
Lost my Momma October 3, 2021. Lost my mother in law January 4, 2022.
Such a hard heart time.
I’m a stay at home Momma myself… high school and middle school kiddos.
I find September very overwhelming.
Take care Jennifer
Xoxo
Thank you for everything you’re doing.
❤
My mom passed on new years day 2022 from Covid. She was on hospice but doing very well, got covid on thursday and died saturday afternoon. SHe said "Covid is no joke. I don't know if I can recover from this." I was 500 miles away when she died. 2022 has been a blur. I'm broken emotionally, physically and completely. We were very close and she was close to my kids. I hate this year, I really really hate it.
Sending you love.
Feel ya pain. Not sure bout the ESPECIALLY working mums comment though. It’s hard all round and men/dads are public enemy No1 these days
GIRL! I understand. I really do. I am a mom of four children, ages 6-(almost)16. I am a licensed architect juggling millions of dollars in projects at work as well. Sometimes it gets to be to much. Well, it IS to much. I am treading water and trying to prioritize rest and preparation on the weekends. I am doing the best I can.
I’m no longer a working mom but a retired empty nest widow and I can relate to EVERYTHING you said here. Just do what you can! You own the world (Internet) nothing ❤
❤ “if you really want to get pissed off “ and youz guys” from a fellow Iowan. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. .
YES,YES! That is exactly how Im feeling and I only work part time.Something has to give!!!!
Thank you for your transparency Jen. I can relate to your feelings of burn out because I’ve been dealing with that a lot myself when it comes to doing theatre. I have been going to counseling since before COVID 19 started and it has really helped me a lot. I am sorry to hear about your mom passing away. Sending you love my friend.❤
Wow thank you Jen. I have been subscribed for several years barely comment but absolutely agree thank you for sharing very informative and inspiring. The very reason I subbed to your channel in the first place. 💖💖💖
When burnout is hovering around you, please remember you are loved. I’m one of 11,000+ subscribers and we appreciate you!
I hope you get better🤗 I understand. I'm a single full time working mum of two. Worst part that I never have free time or money to do something nice. And I hate my work😄 In Finland payed maternity leave is 9 months.
Thank you for posting this! I felt this a lot today - school started recently and I had to return to the office for work. Then top it with two kids and activities 3 days a week and sometimes weekends. Tank is empty … and if my husband asks me one more time why I’m so short tempered and cranky at the end of the night I think I may eat his face. 😂
So I have this on and off all the time but it has gotten particularly worse since my girls have grown up and moved out. So I’m an empty Nester at 41 which is super weird but I started early. It’s just me and my husband we’re not that old so I just figured I would fill in my time with a second job to keep busy. I was only going to do part time initially And then it’s like in the healthcare field taking care of people and I felt guilty for saying no so now I’m at the point where I’m working two full-time jobs and I never see my husband. That burn out is compounding the issue that I do have my own mental health issues from how I was raised and things I’ve been through since And now I’m starting to seek some therapy and dialing back my work schedule and learning how to say no. I’m not saying that I do it without guilt but I’m doing it here and there which is a huge step for me.
STOP apologizing for being human, a mom, a wife and a nurse…prioritize and don’t be so hard on yourself!!!
I got teary eyed when spoke about your mom. Terrified of when I will one day lose mine. So, I was looking at my youtube comment history and noticed a small handful of your older videos had gone private. Was wondering why?
Jen u are one of my faves on Utube ur a strong woman n I've been watching for yrs now .Ur funny u crack me up , u have a great laugh it's so sweet n cute ... Ur so truthful n I like that about u so much ! I enjoy ur videos ur traveling it's neat to watch n where ur going n what ur doing on ur job . I love seeing Murphy n the new puppy n ur kids are so great kids n ue hubby when u talk to each other ur lil funny laughter's n kidding around u guys make me laugh ur such a good team u two ... I know u had a diffecult relationship with ur Mom . N it must be hard to lose her even though u two had problems . She still was ur Mom , n we're all not perfect u no ... I can just feel ur pain though when u speak about her . I'm sorry to hear she passed away with Covid . I'm sure u working in the medical field with work u must of tried to explain to her too. We had a relative to that wasn't a believer how dangerous Covid is . I just want to say we adore u n we appreciate ur videos n we understand ur burnout . N if u ever need to take a break from Utube we understand . Ur health n ur family are more important then anything ... As women we won't to support u n be there for u ok ! This is why I watch u n like u dearly Jen cause ur so real not fake . U take care n ty for sharing this with us we appreciate u being truthful ... Luv ya Jen 🦋
I make commercial use planners, fyi! My website is the same as my youtube channel!
This is me right now. As I was talking to my friend, we realized that we all are not OK, even the kids. It has been one thing after another these past two weeks. I just need a moment to catch my breath. 😢
People won’t be impacted by you not posting videos. Take a break or cut back. We will all survive. Enjoy your life.
Hi Jen, question, I’m also a nurse consultant for the state, I primarily do infectious disease . What type of consultant do you do? That would take you to hospitals and such?
I've noticed that there is something off for you in the last few months. I hope you're still spending time with your sister and step-dad. Air travel is hard. I work in the airline industry with the most frequent flyers. Hugs
Hi Jen, I retired because of burnout and still find it hard to keep up. I don't know how (mostly women) do it all even though I did for a long time.
I think you need to bring back “closet talks” 😃. Sometimes just talking out loud about the things that you are struggling with helps. Not to mention that maybe someone has some advice that may help with that struggle.
Dear Jen. You do what you need to do to make sure you take care of you.
You can't take care of no one else if you're not healthy both mentally and physicaly.
Do not worry about us, you are the most important person in your life. At least you should be.
Take care xxx
I just love your videos and listening to you!! Thank you! Also, your teeth look amazing!!!
From one working mom to another, I feel you, I see you and I hear you. We all need our village and tribe. I found mine inform of Facebook group. Thank you for all you do.
You juggle a lot! I'm glad you're posting about this, great topic that isn't talked about enough.
I’m currently working to improve my mental health. I am in education and the mental load right now is intense. Thank you.
Jen we all have these days ... we as women can do it all so we think we can but, our bodies dnt think so lol... Ya we all get tired it's only normal ... Dnt feel bad about it we all get this way like I said it's normal ...🦋
I am on Facebook and Instagram, when I remember that, I limit my time on social media to twice a day, early in the morning, later at night. As I find it too toxic at times, Love you Hen.
Thank you for saying all of this about working Moms and moms in general. We carry a lot for everyone!
Girl, I felt this message deep in soul!!! Love your earrings, where did you get them?
From one full time working mama to another-I loved this! Great tips Jen!
My girlfriend and I were talking about this yesterday morning!😢
I have been struggling with this too the last 3 weeks since school started and high school football. This school yr has not been nice thus far.
Love to you Jen, I don’t know how you do it all. Take care of yourself.❤️
When you said no one will look out for you as well as you will yourself, I had to laugh. My husband is extremely protective of my time and where I put my energy into. I’m much more easily swayed into taking on more than I should, but he helps me see where I can help and when shouldn’t extend myself. I told him I think it’s self preservation coming out in him. If I’m over worked and overwhelmed, it usually means our home life doesn’t run as smoothly. I appreciate this content and all your videos!