If Juice Cleanse Ads Were Honest (Detox, Master Cleanse)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 พ.ย. 2017
- Feeling bloated and need to detox? Well, drinking salad in liquid form will absolutely not help you at all, but boy will you feel Hashtag-virtuous when you share pictures of yourself with our beautiful juice cleanse bottles all across social media. Enjoy the rejuvenating experience of borderline starvation!
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I enjoy this sarcastic old man
Well it's his character and what makes him lovable
He is not old! Great ad videos!
@Claudia Solomon Years ago as a student I worked for a government department during the summers, and I had a supervisor, a married woman, she was really nice and pleasant, and she was 28 years old, married,, with 2 children, and I thought (being 20) "My God, her life is over!" Now much older than 28 myself I see how young she really was! That 'old man' as so describe him, presents the best parody videos of the series. All things are relative, including age (grin).
This old guy is a true savage.
@@augustusstone3053 Roger is the man!
It's a shame they discontinued these videos.
WHAT?!?
it means,no further uploads
Well, they must have pissed everyone off!
Yeah, some big organizations sued them.
@@kamals.4638 for real???
“Essentially you’re buying dysentery” one of the best lines I’ve ever heard
lol....that's what my mom said when i said i wondered about what happened if you drank those Hollywood Diet drinks.
It’s the best line I’ve ever heard.
Huh, I thought getting that from the city water because they refuse to fix the 70 year old broken pipes a bad thing, but apparently, that's just a feature.
Ha! That was priceless.
When I get sued, and I will, I want this guy as my legal council.
@Abhinav Venu Why? What have you done abhinav?
He's brutally honest. Like, BRUTALLY honest. If you're innocent, you'd want him on your side. If you're guilty, and he knows it, your defence will be razor thin by the time he outright admits you did it!
are you selling Taiwanese children meat as pork meat to people?
ngl
that's kinda f*ed up, stop doing that
what's wrong with you
He's Otter all grown up. Gentlemen!🇺🇸
"and I will" LOL
It does lead to weight loss, your wallet will be much lighter.
Mr. JH hahahaha. Nice one!
😆
In a way it kind of works, but as he said you gain it back pretty quickly and if you return to the diet you had before you'll start gaining weight (or at least faster)
🤣😂🤣😂
Lmao
It works. I lost 300 pounds in just a single month.
About a weeks salary.
😂😂😂😂
Lol!!! 😂😂😂😂
haha
😂😂😂 finally an original youtube comment
*sads in British*
That's it, "drinkable salad" is part of my language from now on
Nice bike bro, from your profile photo.
Same. Gonna use it at work whenever I'm in Produce!
Same funny shit as the ''liquid candy'' soda.
@@MrTruth111 lol more like liquid poison, as all sodas have aspartame
A mtb profile pic what’s up
What they say: detox
What they mean: shit soup that comes out exactly as it went in
Ahahah, nice one
Someone finally said it!
Ah that's more like it.
LOL stop your killing me ....LOL
You can do the same thing just eating Mexican food.
The other food that comes out looking just like when you ate it.
"voluntary poop torture" is going to be the new catch phrase! 😂
Having experienced food poisoning, it astonishes me people willingly, knowingly pay for that experience
bowl game changer
"Many people believe all kinds of things, that doesn't make it true."
Modern America in a nutshell.
Really accurate words
pretty much every place in the world...since the beginning of recorded time in a nutshell. . .
*THAT'S RACIST!!! REEE!!!*
The foundation of a corporate-owned police state.
America is a very diverse place with diverse people and cultures. There is no nutshell. Stop trying to box Americans in like all the European countries. Stuck in their boxes and told what to do and have no guns to revolt their masters.
The woman in this is AMAZING. She's SO funny. Her. Expressions!
Who is she?
@@ashish4451, NO idea, sadly. She's hilarious.
I know right? She has that special ability to look dead inside on command and that's PERFECT for acting. I just look dead all the time.
She's absolutely hilarious!
"...but our dysentery comes in pretty colors!" 🤣🤣🤣
voluntary dysentery. it lets you lose water in your body, money to your name, and friend count!
Not mine, they come in strange and unusual colors!
stankygeorge are you okay?
Ah, Dysentery.
That's what Mary always died from on the Oregon Trail Game.
I didn't know juice cleanses were around in the 1830's. I thought that was just a modern thing.
Juicing is great way to lose weight & give the colon a rest
:/ Here lies Mary
Mary Mary Dysentery too much juice now you lose
Country farmer....no. It has no discernible benefit, other than the placebo effect.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: as a character, Roger Horton is either a living embodiment of pure evil and/or sociopathy, or he is the most truthful businessman that ever has existed in American fiction.
"Spicy Grass" is a good name for a band.
HOW THE HELL AM I ONLY NOW REALIZING THESE VIDEOS BY CRACKED EXIST?!
TH-cam algorithm Sweetheart :-) i cant believe that this is still on YT
Well I realised now
You must be a slow learner!
I only saw them 2 days ago...
Someone probably tried to tell you but you were too damn loud!
there was a detox cleanse ad on this video for me XD
gingersassy Me too. Too funny.
Likewise. Close enough for the algorithm I guess
Same
gingersassy yep me too lol
Same
I can see I missed out on something GREAT. Damnit, 2 years late. This series is FANTASTIC. Awesome host and perfectly casted actors/actresses.
They've started up with making more of these again.
Please make a "if youtube creators were honest"
That would involve breaking the codes of conduct set it place by the TH-cam advertising department of censorship. Don't hold your breath!
i dont think this channel makes videos anymore
@@SunnyxShadows I wonder why that is?
@@MythicShroudGaming owned by other company and fired everyone if I recall
They are "creators" of nothing .
That's what they call themselves to convince themselves that they are
doing something important .
They're just making videos.
This is my favorite Honest Ad so far.
"Ugh. Tastes like spicy grass!"
"voluntary poop torture"...there it is.
Is that why the lady wasn't wearing any pants?
That got me too! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
McDonald's food in general it's like there's unflavored laxatives in there.
If I'm going to put vegetables in my gut to be healthier, I would just eat an actual salad.
And a salad tastes so much better than those juices.
You get a tonnnn more veggies in the juice though. I don't think you REALLY get all the veggies in the juice though :/
@@aplus1080 Yes, the amount of vegetables will be larger, but this also means that you might be consuming high amounts of sugar from fruit without getting any of the fiber, since juices generally have the fiber removed (unlike smoothies).
Much better
Darn. I could'a had a V8.
Before this video started, I had to watch 4 seconds of an ad for Science-Based Super Greens Detox Drink Mix. LMFAO!
Gotta love those algos
Now that's hilarious lol! Damn you, TH-cam Algorithm!!!
"science-based"you mean
I guess you never heard of ad blockers?
It is not your day!
Somebody please give this man "world's most honest bussinesman" award
That award doesn't exist since there have been no viable candidates. Until now!
Nah. I just use a bad burrito. Clears me up right quick!
Isagail vc
Or a good one
Isagail taco bell night?
Carnival Hot Dogs also work for me!
chipotle always does the trick
"For just a significant amount of money..." Lol
“ for just a large amount of money” 😂
*significant
"For just a significant amount of money..."
I feel like Daniel O'Brien wrote the line about kale.😂
he did! i wrote the rest
Katy Stoll Really? Ha! Y'all are awesome.
Katy Stoll hey Katy say something funny.
I'm guessing Daniel should probably eat more kale than he currently does.
Just want to say your awesome. Katy
"That's what our kidneys, liver, lungs, and skin are for."
Isn't that what the spleen is for too? I'm never going to understand what the spleen does, am I?
This man is carrying on the work of George Carlin.
Delon Duvenage why creep
@Delon Duvenage true Carlins got some good jokes but yes he is one
Delon Duvenage Legendsy comedian was spelled wrong
@Delon Duvenage i'm fine, the people are fucked.
_ the planet.
_ george carlin.
@Delon Duvenage Of course Carlin is Douche to you, can't handle any truth. Go live your life this petty like this you ignorant boring British foods like personality.
The woman in this video is phenomenal! I haven't laughed like this in way too long! Thank you!!
As a personal trainer CONSTANTLY getting asked about stupid juice detox cleanses, I freaking love this.
The actress is great 😂
"packaged in non-eco-friendly containers."
Vegan: *throws their hands up* "THEN WHAT'S THE POINT!?"
Vegans? You know, veganism is about not exploiting animals. There are of course eco-friendly vegans, probably a lot of vegans are, but you don’t automatically become eco-friendly by becoming a vegan. Vegans consume food and use products that don’t contain any parts or products from animals, and is not tested on animals (except for medicines, since medicine is always tested on animals in most countries).
@@ksub91 Most vegans have the desire to be eco-friendly.
Awesome man troll #10 A LOT (observe, not MOST, far from it I would say) of people have the desire to be eco-friendly nowadays, whether vegan or not. I actually don’t think that MOST vegans desire to be eco-friendly, but I think that A LOT of vegans desire to be eco-friendly. Let me be a bit anecdotal (I know that anecdotes not necessarily mean that something is true), I myself is lacto-ovo-vegetarian, and I don’t buy leather and fur and things tested on animals etc (so I do all the vegan parts except that I eat eggs and dairy (not very often though)), and I know a lot of vegetarians and vegans (for example my siblings) and I’m a member of a lot of really big Facebook-groups for vegetarians and vegans (Swedish, English and French ones), and I see the same thing everywhere. A lot of vegans are indeed eco-friendly, but if there’s a discussion, in one of these groups or between my friends irl, of why they’re vegan they say that it’s ONLY because of animal rights. A LOT (observe, not MOST) of them say that they became vegetarian (of whatever degree, like lacto-ovo-vegetarian or whole vegetarian etc) because of environmental issues, but when they added the parts that are solely vegan, such as not using leather etc, they did it solely because of animal rights. Think of using leather vs faux leather (the latter is often made out of plastics), the former is probably more eco-friendly than the latter, because leather is really durable. Even so, a vegan would always choose the latter, if they where to choose between those two alternatives. The same goes with fur or wool vs faux versions of the two, the faux versions are often made of polyesters or other plastics, but a vegan choose the faux one anyway. Also, a lot of vegans eat semifinished food (like frozen vegetarian faux meat and such) which often comes in plastic containers/bags.
(Edited to fix wrongly autocorrected words.)
@@ksub91
When is the next tome coming out?
@@ksub91 I always figured most people want to be eco-friendly, they just don't want it to affect their life style so they are like "I should really recycle more, oh well, maybe tomorrow"
I am not judging too harshly, I can't afford to :/
Can we take a moment to appreciate how well the actress did here ?!
No.
We'll take several.
I cleanse my system every time I go to Taco Bell
Fizizy lmao
Lamo
Lmao
Lmao
Lmao
The ironic part of these health drinks is that eating all the fruits and vegetables that they are made out of provides all the vitamins, minerals, nutrients, and fibers that will give you many of these great feelings, leave you feeling fuller longer, and passively decrease the amount of non-healthy foods you'll eat because you're already full of the healthy stuff.
Too bad juicing it removes almost everything needed, and leaves unfiltered sugar to accelerate the onset of diabetes.
But they won't cleanse your wallet of all that toxic money like the health drinks do.
biophotons '
Shouldn't be so quick to call someone retarded.. His statement was straight forward and accurate.
One of the leading causes of diabetes is insulin resistance which happens drastically more often in overweight individuals; One of the leading causes of overweight/obesity is sugar intake. Look at the sugar amounts in these drinks, they're quite high, and you are drinking it getting that sugar immediately rather than eating a fruit that slowly breaks down and digests delivering that sugar over a longer time period.
And towards your second point/question; Juicing produce removes all plant fiber along with a multitude of nutrients that aren't readily extracted from being simply being pressed for liquid.
biophotons ' agreed people think that FIBER is the fucking god send. Hello? What about the many nutrients & vitamins in the fruits & veg? It's easy to smack people for drinking their produce when your 300.lbs+ and have given up on anything leafy green. Plus kale is good.
No it's not, your statement is also incorrect. The most insulinigenic foods that we know of is red meat, even chicken, fish, etc. These foods are extremely insulinigenic. It's absolutely crazy to me that people think that refined sugar and fruit sugar is what is responsible for diabetes when there are studies and metabolic ward experiments showing in clear black and white that meat and dairy are the number one insulin resistant foods that we know of and the most effective foods at killing beta receptor cells that produce insulin in the pancreas! So the fact that you think that one of the leading causes of obesity and diabetes is sugar intake already tells me that you also have no idea what you're talking about. I recommend you looking into diet especially the link between consumption of animal products and the direct links it has with cancer, diabetes, atherosclerosis, etc. I'd be glad to link you to some metabolic ward experiments and studies proving this.
For your second point, fiber is necessary for survival, but cutting out the fiber for a temporary period of time lets your body re-channel the energy that would be spent towards digestion into healing and repairing damage in the body that was caused over time due to poor dietary choices. You do realize that that's basically what the pancreas (What digests your food) does right ? Is basically juices the food that you put into your body for the extraction of nutrients and vitamins... With juicing you're just skipping the part where your pancreas does the work and the juicer does..
So saddening seeing these guys bash raw food and juice cleansing/fasting. Katya, I recommend you check out John Rose if you already don't know who he is (he's quite small but by far one of my favorite youtubers). You seem like you know your stuff!
4:08 what every person with IBS looks like during a flare up.
Her face while drinking that juice 😂
Boy was I wrong, I thought eating at a cheap Chinese Buffet and the big sudden urged BM cleaned me out good! 🤔
Seen on the bathroom stall of a Chinese Buffet: "It feels like my asshole is vomiting."
Best dining bargain on the Planet! I love them!
Why I avoid buffets in general.
Why I avoid buffets in general.
i ate food in Chinese school from a buffet and it did not clean me out
For me a detox cleanse is what I do whenever I decide to clean my room.
‘Essentially, you’re buying dysentery.’
That line is amazing.
Why'd you stop making these? They were so good.
He is probably dead!
@@stankygeorge :((
Lawsuits
He pissed off too many companies.😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
Cracked got bought out by a bigger media corp and they got rid of the entire video department.
I only drink Horton’s Spicy grass juices
"A bowel game changer"
That was hilarious
LOL ".. many people believe all kinds of things..."
Likes can't do enough for this guy's videos.
Wish I could subscribe to him specifically.
And so, the Ad I get for this video is for Herbal Clean. Too funny.
That girl needs to be in more videos.
Reginaldo Hernandez You need to shut up, move out of your mom's basement and get a job.
Promethean Knight she's hot af all right.
@@watkinator4413 virgin
@@megamanhikari8095 lol, what a nice logic here
@@pekkatiitinen2660 I don't remember what the comment I replied to said. The guy seems to have deleted his comment in the meantime. I assure you my comment was not addressed to the OP.
This should have been 5 minutes of Rodger saying "It's a scam."
It is.
Anything: *exists*
Hortan: well um not exactly.
Ha! The ad for this show was an Herbal Clean ad!
Tony No. The brand itself was called 'Herbal Clean'.
This HAS to be the most hilarious one. Roger is so straight faced and positive whilst telling the plain truth as it is. I love you guys!!
First new Honest Ads since 2017 now live here!!! th-cam.com/video/_riGg2BW8Jw/w-d-xo.html
Needed this haha
Selah
Luke 11:2-4 And he said unto them, When ye pray, say, Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, as in heaven, so in earth.Give us day by day our daily bread.And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil./Inspiration+There is much we could say about this model prayer of our Lord, which will help us to pray aright. But notice the last line, "lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." Here, it seems God's "providential leading" is in view, not "instructional leading," for we would not say "God, don't instruct me to go where I will be tempted." Obviously, God would not do that anyway, and it would be an insult to pray that to Him. Instead, we pray "God, please so order events in my life that I fall not into temptation and into the snare of the evil one (Satan)." /Prayer+O God, you are the Ruler of all history and of my life too. Man thinks himself the "master of his own fate, the captain of his soul," but in truth, you rule over all. I have no right to demand tempting situations should not arise, but knowing my own weakness, I pray you will guard my steps and help me to avoid tempting situations. And if one cannot be avoided or you send it as a test, I pray I may overcome my adversary the devil, in the mighty name Jesus Christ Amen.
I just realized it was "Roger" who talked to Eve in the Garden of Eden!
“Voluntary poop torcher”
*torture* and yes, that line was hilarious.
You can get bioenergy from torching poop. Probably.
Green juice is actually pretty tasty, as long as you don't use them as a meal replacement
Well, if you like the taste then go for it. It's the terrible sales pitch that you should be starving yourself because it will somehow magically remove 'toxins' that's the horrific part of the fad. =P
Vegan CarboRaider what the fuck is a "health master?" more like bullshit master.
theMoporter but then why do they have as many calories as a meal?
theMoporter
Juicing is wonderful.
My daughter did the modified Gerson Therapy [carrot/beet/pineapple] juicing along with am organic non-glyphosate residue plant-based diet to rid herself of the lymph node tumors that were left after her masectomy. It worked.
The Oncologist made copies of her juicing/food journal
And Explosive diarrhea in
3......2........1
Ooooooh SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT !!!!!!!!!
OH GOD THE HUMANITY.
WHEN WILL IT END???
This is by far my favourite cracked video
Edit: you don’t have to worry about being grumpy or riddled with deep body aches, you’ll be too busy sh*tting water to worry about leaving the bathroom much less the house!
I need to buy this hurton company
Be careful when introducing food into your diet! Roger killed it.
"If you can make it to day three of your voluntarily poop torture.." Thanks :'D
“Drinkable Salads”
"Voluntary Poop Torture" is a good name for a band. (That's IT, I have reached my legal limit on band names for the month!)
"For just a significant amount of money..." Lmao I'm so going to use that!
"For just a significant amount of money" 😂 I love this character.
Oh, jeez. This is giving me flashbacks to Jilly Juice...
F***ng Jilly juice lol
I have heard of it but I don't really know what it is.
@@1d10tcannotmakeusername A bullshit detox program which literally gave you "waterfalls" creators words not mine. Which can: Cure cancer (Someone had terminal cancer took her product and quit it so when they died the creator literally said they died of the cancer cause they stopped drinking the juice), Regrow entire limbs and 'fix' homosexuality. You literally mix a few vegetables then leave it to ferment for 3 days. Plus it has enough salt to seriously make you unhealthy if you drink the 2 LITRES A DAY you have to drink for it to 'work'.
Bio-error 1d10t: User unable to create name. Pyrocynical made a good video on it
And you can trust me when I say they taste totally fine. 😂😂😂
3:18 I love how all the stuff we're trying to prevent by drinking this liquid salad is caused by said liquid salad.
Jacks delivery is exemplary. He should be making more of these.
This hits home. I did one years ago trying to lose weight and impress a girl. Day 4 of my cleanse, I’m on the way to grocery store to get more veggies, but the smell of burger king next store sent me into an animalistic panic and I “murdered a big ol' f*ck off cheeseburger.” One of the best meals of my life...Never did get those veggies.
That actress is a doll even with the weird makeup. Lovely hair.
You know..... its just so refreshing to hear the honest truth instead of paid for ads that do everything they can to make everything (and I mean everything that is advertised) seem like that item is the greatest product in the world and you have to have it. We are constantly bombarded with misleading ads. From the minute you pull into the fast food line and you see that big juicy hamburger on the menu that looks so perfect and what you really get looks like it was thrown together as fast as they possibly could because the drive through line now has eight cars waiting.... there are and it was.
Truth in advertising is as dead as honesty in politics.
Every one of these honest ads videos reminds me why I'm passionately anti-consumerist
Got a commercial for an herbal cleanse before this video, so that's funny.
Pokerface aww
Loool
I agree with this. Just eat a good balance of healthy foods and get some exercise. It really doesn't take that much effort. These fads are pretty silly.
Surviving as Mom shut up
Dan N Stop being a dick for absolutely no reason. ;)
@@DrAnkitJhala Found the mgtow incel
Fasting is good for you. But paying weight loss mafia for sugar water and a book full of Googled information to do it is very dumb, I agree.
@@kvltizt Yes. Detox and cleansing is also good for you if you've not done it before and haven't had an actually optimal lifestyle. You just have to do it right and not take the surface-appealing way that doesn't involve doing your own research.
I just stumbled upon these and I'm hooked. Rodger is great! Keep these videos coming!
Holy cow, who on earth is that girl? She is absolutely stunning, even when being trainwrecked by liquid salads!
She's a 4 at best.
Were you born and raised in prison?
@@mikethevike438 Seems like this 'prison posse' of 38 people drown out the noise you create
@@Jejking should probably get tested for ccp virus... they lost their taste
@@mikethevike438 Taste is in your mouth, and i usually don't suck on smartphones. Maybe you do, you seem to be the type for that.
Everyone likes redheads but there's nothing hot about her..
Oh man this made me giggle far to much for being a "mature" adult. Just shows you Roger and poop jokes never get old.
Horton, you are my spirit animal.
This is by far the best yet! Hilarious!!
Best on Cracked, Mr. ROGER!!!!
Oh wait, we not supposed to eat when we do those juice cleanses? 😳😂 Oops 😬😂
OMFG, I go to watch this video and the ad it plays before the video was for a Detox drink.
"Tastes like spicy grass..." Love it, because the first "drinkable salad" I tried tasted 100% like that.
🤣🤣🤣😭😭😂😂😂 I literally fell off my bed watching this joint...Yo!! Roger I swear...u need your own channel...
They are WAY TOO expensive that’s why I never buy them .
Derek Flynn i used to drink fruit juice a lot but I stopped after I read about the amount of sugar content in it.
J Paterson yeah they are hella expensive, I had rather just make fruit juice at home and eat veggies , not a fan of drinking veggies . Also can you elaborate your point?
I would drink them cause I hate fruits and vegetables and now I’m on the carnivore diet so meat salt water maybe some coffee lol
I bought one and it was nice but then I noticed it had spirulina in it 🤢
What's my man Roger doing here
I love every once of these videos. Well done sir !
how that guy does that without laughing his ass off is beyond me, would luv to see the bloopers on this, I'm in tears LOL
Atta girl, Get them likes!
Natural Way To Detox yourselves: Reduce food intake by 25-30% and keep a bottle full of water with you, take 2-3 sips every 45 minutes.
Works every time!
Body feels very light and the energy just goes to the next level. The mind remains sharp and focused.
you can over hydrate and cause your cells to burst lmao
This the only ad that I watch and looking forward to watch.
This was one of the best YT series ever.
I'm sadly to say that I've done a juice cleanse for more then a few days because I bought into it, and I must that this is 100% accurate.
Ugh, that was brutal. But this series is great! Thanks, Cracked
The ad before the video was for a smart watch. You told us on another video those are a waste of money! LOL
I love Roger, you're hilarious, sir!
2:56 I laughed so hard I cried.