Oh yeah, younger sister is clearly jealous of OP. What's weird is that the mom is condoning such disrespectful behavior. Um would mom be okay if she took in a younger female relative and they were behaving that way in her home with her husband?
Shoutout to the husband for not only noticing she was trying to seduce him but also shutting it down and making sure that OP didn’t have to confront her gaslighting sister Man’s a keeper
I really hope that John is able to reestablish a relation with his siblings and stays away from his “parents.” It’s absolutely insane that they would treat him that way. They willingly adopted him.
I hope so too. I went NC with my abusive (biological) parents and in the process 'lost' my siblings who generally took or were forced to take my parents' side (some were still young dependents). In the meantime, my siblings have had new experiences with our parents, no unbuffered by me, and while some continue to be flying monkeys, some have come around. I am now rebuilding relationships with the latter, and continue to be NC with the former. OP has a chance to rebuild a relationship with John, but my thinking is for John to want to keep trying OP is going to have to take a serious, honest look at her parents' behaviour and stop trying to wash it away with gaslighting and platitudes.
I would never put the word parents in quotation marks, especially not for adopting parents cause they are his parents adopted or not, but this was definitely a "Parents" in quotation marks situation. the mom is definitely worse, but the dad should have done better
For that last story update, it made me angry. To think that those parents treated John like that, the father being happy that he didn’t invite John on the hunting trip, and the mother being relieved that he left the house? They CHOSE to adopt John! Then they treat him like an outcast?! Those two have failed as parents!
and i'm pretty sure this isnt that uncommon of a thing, people adopt thinking they cant have kids, still end up doing the deed (probably without protection) or continue trying, actually have a kid and then just pretty much dump on the other one.
@@breana2734 Even giving them the most charitable concept I can, that they adopted intending to love him as their own, but when he was there it 'felt different' but they'd already committed. GO TO THERAPY, call in some experts and work on making it work instead of treating the innocent child like lesser than or like a predator. Even with the most charitable reading I can possibly give them, they're STILL scum for how they handled it.
John's bio-parents must be looking down at their friends from heaven, shaking their heads in disappointment for how they mistreated their son. Who does that to a child who lost their parents!?! It's like they were just doing their dead friends a favor and nothing else.
Second Story: That's just basically clear cut favoritism, that's it. What the mom said is honestly disgusting, seeing your young adopted son as a "predator"? Disgusting, absolutely disgusting.
@@TheBluePhoenix008 Emotional abuse at that. I wouldn't be able to hold myself back from lashing out at them as to how emotionally abusive they were. John is the bigger man for not yelling at them.
There was speculation that the mom may have been a victim of sexual abuse in her youth so sought to protect her daughters in the worst way possible. I don't think that explains why she pushed him away though. That leads me to the other speculation which was that either mom had feelings for or was having an affair with John's bio dad and when he started to look more like his dad, her motherly feelings started switching to feelings of (and I hate that I have to say this) lust for her son. So she couldn't be affectionate with him because she was attracted to him and branded him a "predator" to justify and rationalize her behavior
It‘s disgusting that they treated their 12yo son like a predator for only existing. But that the Mom thinks he‘s a "sexually mature man" is just🤮. It reminds me of the story of that school, where they lengthened the girls‘ skirts because the male staff were getting "distracted". Getting "distracted" by a child that just started puberty and calling them "sexually mature" is straight up pedo behaviour.
What does that say abut their parenting? That they think a kid they raised from basically newborn will grow to be a creep just because he isn't blood?! They're weird!
Not to mention what kind of image does she have a sexually mature men that they're going to go after little girls. Sure child Predators generally tend to be straight men but I'd say that's the minority not the majority. They're just stupid and it's just an excuse to being ignorant toxic
Parents be like: "No no, we really do love him just like a real son" Also parents: "Oh thank god he's gone!" .... ... you honestly think you didn't treat him differently? Nice lie you tell yourselves so you can sleep at night
Apparently they WERE smooth enough bc no one actually noticed there was a problem until YEARS later when John put it all together and spelled it out for everyone
*First OP:* Obviously, OP's sister is a piece of work, but can we talk about her mom? I know where OP's sister got the attitude from! At least OP's husband had her back. *Second OP:* OP's parents did John super dirty. I wouldn't be surprised if OP and her bio siblings cut contact with their parents because WTF!? I hope OP and her bio siblings can continue to build a relationship with John because they genuinely love him as family. Shoutout to the thumbnail, btw.
First Story: I had a roommate do this stuff, but she wasn’t my sister, she was a close friend. She needed a place to stay for a while, so we rented her our spare room. She hit on my husband constantly, wore skimpy outfits, would touch his chest, make sexual comments and jokes, etc. My husband actually came to me saying how uncomfortable he was and that he dreaded coming home because of her. When I told her it wasn’t working out and that she needed to find a new place, there was thankfully no drama. She seemed to know it was coming. We didn’t talk anymore after that. As smooth as things went, I was honestly furious and stressed out over it. I just tried hard not to show it because I specifically didn’t want drama and didn’t want to embarrass my husband further.
I don't get people like this...it's like feeding their ego by getting someone who is in a happy, committed relationship is much more important than any other relationship in their lives.
@@janew5550 Not sure about why men do this kind of thing but from what I've both heard and read, a good number of women are more attracted to men who are in relationships because they're seen as more desirable than men who are single. It's a scummy thing to do regardless of gender and the people that do it deserve what's coming to them.
Now I understand why John is going very little to no contact with them they're horrible people what was the point of you adopting him if you're not going to love him as much as you do your own biological children.
@@james14294 the mother having sexual thoughts about John, assuming John will be a predator to her other kids, etc. Even if they aren't biologically related, that is still her son and has a lot of inc*st undertones
As a mother I could never treat my children like that, no matter if they are biologically mine or not. Children don't decide who gave birth to them, or who they lose, but if you decide to adopt a child, you treat them well and give them love. Every child deserves love, not to be put through hell.
I can’t imagine my own mother doing something like that. My best friend is in his 20s and my mother still gives him hugs and kisses like he’s her own son, and she didn’t even raise the man.
My brother is 14 years older than me. If my mom told me she treated him like some sort of dangerous predator to be watched, I genuinely don't know if I could contain myself or not. She's not watching out for her daughters, she's making up excuses to hate John simply because he had nowhere else to go. God those parents make me fucking sick
@@Hinatachan360 your parents definitely should have kept a better eye on him. But to treat a teen boy like a sex criminal for no reason, without any evidence, just because they're not related is cruel.
And do you think that will make Jonh feel happy? sure the support of his adoptive siblings will be great, but they will cut contact with the parents who raise them as fine as they could, he would feel even worse for how the family turned on, that's why he doesn't tell them anything at the beginning, he was sad about it and resentful to the members of the family, he would have been jealous of the adoptive siblings in some way if not he would have tried to apparent everything going ok and call them regularly.
Second story: I totally understand what OP is coming from not knowing what to do. I mean, in her viewpoint they were loving parents to everyone. They can't for the life off them get into their minds that their parents were abusive towards John. But I really hope that OP and the rest of their siblings go past the step of denial and do the best to support John because he needs them. I think going no contact would the best course of action, even if John disagrees. The parents needs to face consequences and that's the best way to punish them for it.
THIS!! My younger siblings witnessed me being abused throughout their entire lives. They never understood there was anything wrong with it, they just thought it was weird. I don't blame them at ALL because to them it was normalized. It does kind of suck though because I was always super on top of my sisters and trying to make sure they didn't get in trouble so my mom and her bfs didn't go after them, so the middle sister is now constantly like that with the youngest even though they're in a safe environment.
Last story: I wonder if the mum was in love with/attracted to the brother's (bio)father, and once brother hit puberty he looked like his dad. That could be why she pushed him away, and decided(maybe subconsciously) to drive him out ASAP. Not because he would "hurt her daughters", but because she was afraid of what SHE might do. The father may have been aware and also wanted him away from his wife. Some friends they were to the parents, they ab*sed the son of their friends.
I think you hit it on the head. Wife might have had a crush on bio dad but never acted on it. Settled for her husband and started a life with him but when bio dad and bio mom died the boy probably looked more like his mother at that young age. But once puberty hit. She was slapped in the face she still had feelings for the bio dad. So in her twisted mind she pushed her feelings onto her daughters thinking they'll fall in love with him or he'll try something with the girls when it wasn't true. They were just siblings while mom had a twisted fantasy story going in her head.
Wow. That last story broke my heart. My husband and I took in two kids after their parents died. If anyone in my family treated the kids as lesser than they deserved because I didn’t personally birth them, that family member would be out of my life, no questions asked. However, my family are good, reasonable, accepting people, unlike OP’s parents.
Or, she might say he's reading too much into it. "What's a girl supposed to wear out of the shower? So she said OP might not lose the baby weight --- but that could be true, right?" I would have told the guy to take pictures of the sister and send them to the parents. The sister probably would have posed, thinking she was seducing the guy.
@@nancyjay790 Exactly. Mom is definitely going to defend *anything* the sister does. Even without a sexual component...running around the sister's house half dressed when she's been told it's unacceptable is a deal breaker. If you're living in someone else's home especially if you're paying little or nothing, don't buck their rules!
Just NOPE! He’ll become the bad guy that was perving on her sister. If Mum won’t taker her word, he has zero hope of what he’s saying not getting twisted.
@@SpruceOaks At a minimum I'd expect mom to tell the sister not to make drama. If you're doing something unnecessary that bothers your HOST, stop doing it. It's not complicated. The fact that mom instead tried to make OP the bad guy for saying sister's behavior is unacceptable is a sign that sister is the untouchable favorite child.
Oh boy, that story about John. So, dear old Mom couldn't think of John as "one of her babies" once he became "sexually mature"? So she sent him away to "protect her daughters"? Ugh. UGH.
I would say that it being hard to restore the relationship between your siblings for something your adopted parents did is a lot better than it being impossible.
I hate when people try to use “parental instincts” to defend abuse. If you seriously can’t control your “instincts” then that’s not what it is, it’s a mental illness.
1st story: No pitty for OPs sister. She's being disrespectful to OP AND OP's husband, ignoring the boundries BOTH have requested, and then becoming confrontational when both out their foot down. She's 18 from what OP said so time for her to be an adult. Second Story: ......Jesus Harold Christ...... what the hell did I listen too?
On story 2: it really disturbs me how quickly the mom stopped seeing John as one of her children, considering she chose to adopt him. I can't imagine how awful he must've felt growing up, being treated like a predator by your mother figure, and like a stranger by your father figure. Yeah he shouldn't talk to them for a long while.
Story 2: These parents had the audacity to pretend they're sad because Josh don't have a relationship with them... They knew damn well what they were doing. I hope all siblings go low or no contact with them. I wouldn't be able to look at my parents the same if I found out they were such abusers. Most importantly, I hope Josh will heal from this and they all will have a good relationship. Josh deserves to have people who care about him and will support him.
They want their cake and to eat it too. They wanted not have to be a parent not have to be emotionally available for the child that they went to get all the benefits and all the rewards of being parents. Lot of parents like that out there that one all the benefits being parents but don't want any of the responsibility or the hard work. We call them Deadbeats
My heart really bleeds for John, it’s honestly not fair in any way shape or form for him to lose his real family only to be outcast by the one he finally gets, it’s absolutely horrible how they treated him and shouldn’t have been subjected to it at all in any universe for any reason, I really hope he finds peace because those parents make me violently ill. If I were OP I seriously could not have any real relationship going forward with my parents because what they did was horrible needlessly cruel, abusive and traumatic to John and alienated a kid who just wanted a family, and I would never even want to bring my own children near them going forward
13:18 So she was uncomfortable with this poor boy and treated him unfairly because she thought this “stranger” that she took in was gonna do things with her children!? I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM! THEY TREATED HIM UNFAIRLY AND THE PARENTS DON’T LOVE HIM! THEY ADMITTED TO BEING UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND HIM! PLUS SHE ACTUALLY THOUGHT OF HIM AS A THREAT AND STIL LET HIM STAY? disgusting I would cut connections with my parents after that
The fact that the mom couldn't hug him herself once he hit puberty makes me think she was attracted to him and that is what made her think of him as possibly being a $3xual being himself. 🤮
The fact that John grew up to be a considerate and empathetic man like he is now is incredible. He could've easily grew up as a bitter, derange man without a care or direction in the world, and yet, he still has the strength to tell his adoptive parents that he understands why he was treated the way they treated him, on top of having a good life away from all that drama and abuse. Listening to the story made me cry inside. John really knew the meaning of being lonely, and I feel nothing but sadness for him.
John was actually a grown up even when he was only 12 years old. He responded to the ill-treatment so maturely. Did well in school, started working at 18 and became financially independent.
Guarantee John is only trying to distance from the siblings because he’s so selfless, he doesn’t want to strain their relationship with their parents. If I had to choose between my relationship with my brother or my parents under this circumstance, I’d kick my parents to the curb.
Younger sister has never been told no in her life and has never been held accountable for her actions. So you get this. A person who can do no wrong, blames others for their normal reactions to her outrageous behavior, and only wants what she can’t have. They are not helping her by being nice. She needs to know and understand that what she did was wrong. Right now she thinks the couple are in the wrong, and that will only push her further away. If she understands what she did, then MAYBE she might feel bad and want forgiveness.
A thought I had about the second story: these parents were probably more toxic than their kids remember. John became their sibling at such a young age, they didn’t notice all of these signs. But with toxic/narcissistic parents, they often choose a sibling to be the “scapegoat”, and it was an obvious choice for them. Their adopted kid became the scapegoat which is why the other children remember their parents being loving- they weren’t subjected to this side of their parents. Truly awful behavior, I hope op and the siblings can rebuild a relationship with John and cut their parents out entirely.
So true. So so true. The others don't see it because they didn't have to experience it (kids so rarely notice what isn't directly affecting them too)...plus being narcissists they most definitely did their best to hide what they were doing.
First Story: Should've had security footage of sis to send to dear ol' mumsie. Helping her find a place was extremely generous on OP and her partner's part given her predatory behavior. Sucks seeing that someone you love and trust grow up to be a total monster. Girl needs help. Be prepared for her to complain about her new arrangement to mummy dearest. Put your foot down, protect your nest and continue to have your Partner's back. Last story: If OP's parents were my own, I would NEVER look at them the same way again. I hope OP starts limiting contact with them and keeps her brother close. What their parents have done to a boy who asked for nothing but love and a sense of belonging was truly heinous.
I think the worst part about the sister is that she's sexually harassing her sister's husband and when the dude is uncomfortable, she doesn't care, she only cares about what is most likely, the thrill of stealing her older sister's husband. Not only that, she clearly doesn't care about his feelings because after he told her, point blank, that "I, myself, am uncomfortable with you in what is also MY apartment" and she still thinks he didn't really wany her gone and that OP is the only one making a fuss. Yikes.
John becoming an adult and leaving the day he was 18, to an apartment he already had, not wanting to start fights or conflicts - dude is mature beyond his years. Hope that strength holds him together, dude has not had as easy life
The second story really hit me hard. I was abandoned by my mother (father wasn't in the picture) at 15 which is a story in and of itself, I moved into my then boyfriend's parents house with his two sisters. Nothing I ever did was good enough, I would do chores, clean up after the other kids, and just try to have fun; but no matter how much I tried I was always called an outsider. When they found out that my parents used to be drug addicts the rumors spread through their whole extended family and I was labeled a "drug addicted sinful wh0re". Even though I had never done any drugs, I couldn't even sit next to their son without their father calling me disrespectful and punishing me by constantly threatening to kick me out. His own daughter could cuddle up next to her boyfriend under a blanket and kiss hold handles etc. and he never saw an issue. I remember one time in particular he was driving me home from work and specifically said " You're awful disrespectful and I can totally understand why your mother abandoned you". When I told the mother she told me "I talked to him and he said he didn't say that, you're just trying to start drama. Stop lying." Eventually he did end up kicking me out for literally just being a kid.
I thought the story with the adoptive brother was going to be something like "My parent's just couldn't love him the same because sharing affection with him just reminded them of their dead friends." Which would suck but I could understand that a bit. But nope. The mom is out there SEXUALIZING A TEENAGED BOY. WTF?
I love this sub, please do more of them. Thanks Rslash. Also I hope Lilly is doing well, you’re a good dad. One of my favorite things about you is the way you add positive values to your channel. Some of your comments make me stop and think. My marriage has gotten even better because I listen to you every day and I’m reminded to be the best and most supportive spouse I can be. Thank you.
I feel for John like so much. I understand why OP had that thought in her mind originally, she didn't want the idea she had in her head to be a lie. No one wants that, it's understandable. I mean, if you've grown up thinking your parents are loving and stuff, you would likely hate to have to recognize the reality that they don't. It's hard, but it's also mature so I'm proud she decided to face the fear. But man, they really did him so dirty. I can't imagine how he feels, literally from the age of puberty being seen like a sexual deviant by someone who is supposed to be your mother. I can't imagine what that does to you. Glad his siblings at the very least not only love him but were angry on his behalf. That's love, even if it was all made complicated by the parents.
I'm sure that little sister didn't even want that man, she just wanted to be showered with attention and positive reinforcement of being wanted. That´s all it is, she literally just wanted to be a temptation so she could feel better than her older sister. Gross.
Adopted brother story: there was some speculation in the comments about the mom. Either A) she was a victim of sexual abuse as a kid which is why she had to "protect her daughters". But that wouldn't explain why she stopped being affectionate which leads to. Or B) either she had feelings for or was having an affair with John's bio dad and when John began to look like his bio dad, it stirred something in her. What I'm saying is that she became attracted to her 12 year old son(🤢🤮) and in order to justify keeping him at arms length and not feeling like a monster she made him a predator in her mind. Whether A or B, it was a BS rationalization that abused her son because of her own issues.
Or C she started having predatory desires for John because she is a pedo....because even if John looked like someone she had an affair with (he would have always looked that way, or it would have been once he FINISHED puberty that he looked like his father).... the fact that she started viewing him as a $3xual being at 12 is telling...... if it had been once he finished puberty and was filled out....then i would vote B..... but the timing says she starting looking at him that way at such a young age because she is a nonce.
Excluding John from the hunting trip was undoubtedly a result of the parents thinking John was somehow a danger. Mom becomes sexually attracted to a 12-year-old (which is nowhere near sexually mature) and suddenly he's the problem? I wonder if she would exhibited this same behavior had she become attracted to one of her biological sons?
As someone who was in a similar situation to John, being an adopted child in a family with clear favortism that made me feel isolated and unwanted, I completely understand how he feels. Though we had our support switched, his was his siblings while mine was my mom, I stand by him in not knowing how to move forward without those stigmas getting in the way.
Last story: I just know that wherever John’s parents are, they would be very disgusted and disappointed with OP’s parents. Those friends trusted OP’s parents enough to take care of John, but those people broke him. They hurt and scarred him probably for life. They feel shame because they knew they were cruel and wrong to treat their late friends’ son like that.
1st story: i have a family member that does stuff like that, she dropped out of college but since shes very attractive she goes around trying to sleep with the husbands or fathers of her friends, and one time she straight up told us that she does it coz she deserves a better life and they could give it to her, so yeah.
How dumb she is.....she needs to find a single person who can "give her that life" because something that clearly isn't dawning on her.....those guys aren't going to have the same finances to take care of her when they are paying alimony 🤦🤦♀️🤦♂️
I thought I was the only one 😅growing my dad had a thing about mine and my siblings posture so whenever I hear someone get scolded for their posture I straighten my posture
"Her instinct became to protect her daughters" - That makes no sense. First, why would being cold to her son stop him from being a predator? Second, blood relation doesn't stop predators. The other boys in that family were just as much of a risk to her daughters as John was. Hell, their father was just as much of a risk!
She's probably looking because she doesn't want mom and sis to gang up on her. Sometimes it's just mentally safer to do things like this. Remember she is pregnant. The stress of those bullies would have been too much.
I was saying that myself. Her sister was INTENT on completely ruining OP's life, yet the OP feels obligation to set up housing for that sl*t? No. Get her out. Live in your car for all I care. You wanted to nuke my family, you get zero consideration from me. I would have had her shit outside in garbage bags and told her she had half an hour to drive back to the apartment and pick them up before you walk in and let randos pick over her crap.
@@MarkarthCityGuard yeah, also like sure she was being an asshole, but not like, kicked out on the street asshole. plus, sometimes you wanna be the bigger person (only somtimes tho lol)
You're probably gonna get a lot of hate for this comment, but I half agree with you. What I would have done instead is have OP and the husband sit down and give her 1-1 1/2 months to find her own place or she has to move back in with her mother, and if she doesn't want to live with her mother? Then good luck. I would have OP explain that what she did was NOT okay and tell her no exceptions. I would also ask the husband to share what made him uncomfortable and why and also have him explain to her that his wife isn't the only one with concerns. I would make sure the husband uses words like "gross," "immature," and for him to talk about how she's embarrassing herself because she's acting so [stupid.] (maybe not the word stupid, but another derogatory word that knocks her to her senses.)
Ha, the only way for me to catch Rslash videos the moment they're uploaded is to literally wake up by accident when it's still dark...then stare at the ceiling for an hour in a sleepy stupor, THEN turn on my phone.
That second story: yeah those parents are straight up lying, they knew they were favoriting them and using the sexual predator excuse to cove there asses
Agreed....and if it is true that the "mom" suddenly couldn't hug him once he hit puberty, sounds more like she was attracted to him and she was projecting her weird desires onto him.
Those parents need to see a therapist. If they don't accept and get help I would say no grandchildren over because I don't want to have them interacting with the messed up individuals that I don't understand what relationships between families are.
That second story was sad. This was an opportunity for the parents to change the trajectory of John's life after his parents died so that he felt loved and included and instead they treated him like an unwanted orphan. And then the fact the mom treated him as a predator because he was an pubescent boy living under their roof (that they invited him to live under!) with their daughters is just sick. Who thinks of a little boy like that. I seriously hope the OP and her siblings have distanced themselves from their parents and are continuing to try to show John that they love him as a brother and that blood doesn't matter to them.
Story 2: So basically OP's mother started to become sexually attracted to John (when he was 11, mind you) and punished him for it? OP's dad noticed (and was probably fed some garbage about sexuality by the mom), got insecure and punished John for it? It's understandable that OP and the other siblings never noticed anything, but John may be cutting out some innocents here. Good luck to all the siblings, especially John.
Although I respect your opinion, I do not see how such blatant favoritism could not be seen by any of the "siblings". I do not feel it is "understandable" and I doubt if John can understand such a thing either.
@@MarkDC101 People that witness abuse, as well as those in the middle of the abuse, dont always realize abuse is going on. Especially in a case like this, where the witnesses (OP and siblings) never experienced any form of the abuse themselves. On top of that anything they did witness were all small isolated events that could be brushed off as John having upset them somehow (which they is what they said, I guarantee you). The only reason it's obvious now is because everything was listed out after OP and siblings got talking.
It’s happened. Dabney has done so many videos he is reading the same ones others have done months ago! Buuuutt! Hearing Rslash read them is a whole new level of crazy! His upbeat voice and silly dad jokes are the best!!
Last story yeah, while I would cut the relationship with my parents, seems like OP needs more time to fully process everything. Hope someday he realizes the seriousness of the matter. Poor, poor John... I felt sooo bad for him the whole story.
Obviously the sister in the first story sucks but I can't get over the fact that OP was allowing her sister to sexually harass her husband under her own roof and then told him 'Yeah can you be the one to tell her she has to leave, it's too hard for me'
Are you kidding me? She specifically did that so that her sister won't accuse her of feeling jealous that is not hard for she she just didn't want to be called names here!
@@MartialArtswithLucyLu So that means its right to send a victim of sexual harassment to the harasser. Being called names by someone who does wrong doesnt seem as bad as that to me.
Wait, I thought husband said he would do it so that sister could get the message. Otherwise sister would just gaslight and think she could stay anyway? This would also work to stop any future harassment since being shut down this firmly by the object of her lust would serve to both reflect and cause major damage to her ego. I mean it didn't really work since when she left she still thought it was OP who kicked her and used her husband, but I could see the reasoning.
@@C.G.Gaster Well you have to experience it to know how it feels I've experienced name calling so I know ho that feels that is why I don't really see the big deal here especially since it looks they did it together but with OP avoiding the gaslighting and such here!
Story 1: "If I kick her out, she won't be able to finish her studies" That's so sad 😭 Kick her out anyway. Edit: "If your husband _really_ loved you then you wouldn't feel threatened" He does love Op, that's why he's kicking you out. You're upsetting his wife and she's more important to him then you will _ever_ be.
In the first story I'm more surprised that the on thing they never addressed was "Okay, I can ignore the walking around in a towel and skippy clothes, it just means you're comfortable with us... fine. But how do you explain badmouthing my wife to my face?" The thing a husband should be upset about because there is zero reason to justify that behavior beyond "You could do better than the one who's carrying your child..." Okay... that 2nd story update... I'm gonna say it. "Op's mom in that story is *disgusting.*"
On that main story.... I feel for John and those parents are horrible. I grew up with stepparents. And you know what? Even though my stepmother divorced my father she to this day still treats me the same as she does her biological son and until the day he died my stepfather treated me as no different than his biological children. No different whatsoever, to the point that THIS was my major life lesson from that great man: The closest of family, is rarely blood. To the OP of that post - John is your brother. Treat him that way and show him that he will always be your brother to you.
The mom pushing off her adopted son when he tried to hug her reminded me of my mom.. Only it's a little different because she's my biological mom. I would always try to hug her even growing up and she wouldn't like it, and would push me away or just not reciprocate... One day she did it in front of half the school, because it was an awards ceremony, and she just shook my hand while every other kid got to hug their mom... she just side stepped and shook my hand...
Wow, I’m really sorry that happened to you. I can’t imagine how you must have felt in that moment and I’m sure that pain stays with you… I hope that didn’t cause you to feel like something was wrong with you… it seems like your mom may have experienced some form of trauma that could have influenced her behavior toward you.
@@amandadee412 that would make sense. Though my family has always been stubborn and refuses to talk to each other. Even me, i'm too scared to talk to them about most things, so we all kinda just drift apart. I was just told that my mother just didn't like to be touched. But when you're growing up and just wanna hug and cuddle your mom, it's hard to understand why she doesn't want to.
@@wouldntyouliketoknowwesath7789 I completely understand what you mean when you say that growing up, kids want to hug their parents and I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been for you. I’m a mother and I have a 9 year old daughter who is very affectionate and always wants to hold my hand or hug me and I know it would break her heart if I didn’t hug her back. I’m so sorry that you experienced that and I really hope that you are living a happy, joyous life. Sending you hugs 🤗
I will never understand parents that neglect the children they CHOSE to adopt, or get weird hangups about not being biologically related (as if that has anything to do with whether or not someone becomes a sexual predator). It's sick, illogical, and cruel.
Op's younger sister is the one who is insecure. She is constantly flaunting herself to Op's husband because she wants validation. Confident and secure women don't go after married men, especially not one whos married to their own sister. I would have zero sympathy for her. Op and her husband made their boundaries very clear and all her sister did was mock them. She made her bed she can lie in it.
1S) Younger Sister is so insecure and jealous that she's "trying" to seduce her BIL who doesn't even want her while OP is having a difficult pregnancy. 2S) They are horrible parents. Like why the would adopted a kid and treat them like a "predator" that doesn't even make sense. Give John some space and work at arms length to rebuild your relationship.
The fact that the moment he hit puberty the "mom" suddenly couldn't hug him anymore the fact that that is the age when started $3xualizing him....makes me think she is a pedo....and she was projecting her predatory desires onto poor John.
I saw a few instances in various FICTIONAL works that described story 2. Never in my inebriated-induced nightmares would I ever imagined someone out there would have this insane concept of thought.
You'd be surprised cause that mother's fear is real! I've known a set of step kids that actually got married after sneaking behind the parents backs for years.
That's literally just how abusive and often narcissistic parents are. They do things so over the top, have such a backwards line of logic, and put on such a good act to the outside, that even if the abused kid DID speak up, no one would believe him.
My future ex husband and I verbally adopted 2 grown "boys" (they were 19 and 20 when we "adopted" them). They are literally young enough to be our sons. 5 years later, we are getting divorced. NEVER, EVER would I see them as possible sex partners. In fact, the idea of seeing them this way makes me physically ill BECAUSE THEY ARE MY SONS! The mother and father are so absolutely disgusting in every way. I feel so sorry for John. I hope he finds a family to call his own and I hope he can work towards being family with the kids because it's seems they truly love him as a sibling. I can understand OP's reaction to what he said. She doesn't want to believe the parents who loved her so much don't love him because it is too much for her to deal with emotionally.
If the siblings don't hold those parents accountable, they don't deserve a relationship with John. They're gonna be all talk until Christmas shows up and they have to pick a side and John's alone on holidays.
So a couple of points on the second story. Is there a possibility that the mom had been abused as a girl? Yes, I think so.I have seen it where a mother (not even adoptive) began to emotionally separate from her daughter around the age that she had been abused as a child because she hadn't delt with her repressed memories. So the idea that she was suddenly protecting her daughters/self from someone she had an emotional attachment to suggests some past trauma.
I have to wonder if maybe John's bio-parents were as good friends with OP's parents as everyone thought.... Maybe they resented them for something? Maybe a lot of people were like, "oh YOU should adopt this boy who needs parents, you've already adopted, yes you have him, bye". But that it hands down one of the cruelest stories Rslash has ever read. Heartbreaking
I understand the "not being able to ignore he is a sexual mature male", "must protect daughters" just because that's the mentality I grew up in.... my mom had that same mindset and, though I know she means well and was just trying to protect me from the world, it's made things really difficult... I'm TERRIFIED of any hint of interest shown my way to the point I went into a panic attack when someone asked me out and I lost a best friend.... I'm in therapy but hearing that story just made something in my gut clench and it left a bad taste because I could understand the mindset....
Totally feel you. I'm in the exact same situation. I crave a boyfriend, but honestly I just want to throw up everytime a guy approaches me, because of the mindset my mother pushed on me. It's sad and frustrating. But I guess the only thing we can do is to go to therapy and fix ourselves before we inflict trauma on our future family and children.
@Roxana Toncean That is EXACTLY how I feel! Oh my gawd, the amount of relief to know that there are others out there with the EXACT feelings I have is such a relief. I thought I was alone in that so I am actually crying right now.
@@brabbit736 I am so glad too that I found someone who shares the same experiences! This finally puts a name on the problem and makes me realize so many other things... I am glad I am not alone and it's a really huge relief indeed. Funny, my parents, especially my mother, keep asking if I got a boyfriend yet. Uhh, with the trauma you gave me, not anytime soon 😭 I actually got to meet a good guy that actually was respecting my boundaries, never touched me without consent and was just sweet overall. But my trauma just made me ghost him, so yeah. I feel horrible and the life of a single mother sounds so appealing 🤡
@Roxana Toncean I know how you feel. I feel horrible for ghosting a guy who was a best friend literally since elementary school. I didn't know how to face him or talk to him though when he blindsided me with a Valentine's dinner date and my mom told me how disappointed she was with me for turning him down. I almost threw up in his car though when he asked me out when he was driving me back after the long awkward dinner. That event actually gave me the push for therapy finally.
@@brabbit736 I admire your strenght. I think I would have really throwed up 🙃 Especially if he was a guy I knew for that long 😭 I can only imagine the pain you're going through for losing him... I met this guy on Instagram and talked for 3 weeks before having an actual date and I felt overwhelmed as it was. I don't know what I would have done if he was a best friend. Since ELEMENTARY school on top of that 😭😭😭 Hope you are doing well. Keep your head up and know that your experiences are valid and people like your mother deserve no explanation 🙌🏻
The older sister feeling guilty shouldn’t worry about her little sister being inconvenienced. The little sister is the one who chose to behave disrespectfully in a house that isn’t hers. It’s her own fault she was asked to leave. How embarrassing, that you can’t behave well enough around other people that they ask you to leave. She should be ashamed haha.
Story 2, the fact that john thinks its unhuman of them to love him is so fucked up. I lived with a foster family for a while, no relation to my real family, no common friends no nothing and yet they still gave their full 100%, even now they still have a picture of me on their walls.
I simply don't understand those parents. They raised John from a baby and they don't feel like his parents. The mom sees him as a sexual being. They should know that all their kids saw each other as siblings. When people adopt babies they usually take them to their hearts and become family. Emotionally as well as legally.
Mom revealed that she's a pedo.....she pushed him away when she became attracted to him. She started not being able to trust herself and they blamed him rather than accept she is a nonce.
That last story absolutely disgusted me. As a person who was in the foster care system, the way those parents treated that guy is absolutely unforgivable. He did nothing to be treated that way
Felt rslash on that second story. OP was all like "NO! They love him the SAME!!!H-how do we fix thissss🥺🥺🥺🥺" after John specifically told them that he absolutely wasnt being treated the same (with proof). Way to go OP, way to go 😐
I was adopted, but my experience was the opposite in the extreme. My little sister (my parent's bio child) grew up hearing about how I was the special child they chosen. I was the golden child, and my sister always felt like she was unwanted. The divide is so deep my sister and her husband (nor her child) don't have contact with any of us. Family drama really can make or break us.
Younger sister continuously calling op insecure just serves to prove how younger sister is insecure and projecting
She is just a b word, period.
When I first read title, Sweet home, Alabama with playing in my head I’m not gonna lie
@@sytherwusky oh that's the second story
Oh yeah, younger sister is clearly jealous of OP. What's weird is that the mom is condoning such disrespectful behavior. Um would mom be okay if she took in a younger female relative and they were behaving that way in her home with her husband?
She's a spoiled little brat of a sister he needs to be kicked out on her butt so she needs to know how the real world works.
Shoutout to the husband for not only noticing she was trying to seduce him but also shutting it down and making sure that OP didn’t have to confront her gaslighting sister
Man’s a keeper
That guy is based, he’s the type of guy to not cheat on a 2 with a 💯
@@suspumpkin5229 no matter how attractive someone is. If you are loyal you won't cheat, simple as that, and that man seems to be a good man!
@@gecko2.617 drugs
As far as we know anyway
I'm surprised rSlash didn't somehow spin it against the husband
I really hope that John is able to reestablish a relation with his siblings and stays away from his “parents.” It’s absolutely insane that they would treat him that way. They willingly adopted him.
I wonder if the parents felt they 'had to' becuase they wanted to be seen as 'good people'. Then resented having to raise him.
I hope so too.
I went NC with my abusive (biological) parents and in the process 'lost' my siblings who generally took or were forced to take my parents' side (some were still young dependents).
In the meantime, my siblings have had new experiences with our parents, no unbuffered by me, and while some continue to be flying monkeys, some have come around. I am now rebuilding relationships with the latter, and continue to be NC with the former. OP has a chance to rebuild a relationship with John, but my thinking is for John to want to keep trying OP is going to have to take a serious, honest look at her parents' behaviour and stop trying to wash it away with gaslighting and platitudes.
I would never put the word parents in quotation marks, especially not for adopting parents cause they are his parents adopted or not, but this was definitely a "Parents" in quotation marks situation.
the mom is definitely worse, but the dad should have done better
The thing that pisses me off the most, taking away that John is innocent: if she had speculations, she did nothing. That’s the worst part.
I think that ship has sailed
For that last story update, it made me angry. To think that those parents treated John like that, the father being happy that he didn’t invite John on the hunting trip, and the mother being relieved that he left the house? They CHOSE to adopt John! Then they treat him like an outcast?!
Those two have failed as parents!
I was hoping that the lack of love towards John was them seeing their dead friends in him & not just neglecting him because of who he was
and i'm pretty sure this isnt that uncommon of a thing, people adopt thinking they cant have kids, still end up doing the deed (probably without protection) or continue trying, actually have a kid and then just pretty much dump on the other one.
Also it could be because it made them look good. Them being the generous couple who took in the orphan
Scummy people
@@breana2734 Even giving them the most charitable concept I can, that they adopted intending to love him as their own, but when he was there it 'felt different' but they'd already committed.
GO TO THERAPY, call in some experts and work on making it work instead of treating the innocent child like lesser than or like a predator.
Even with the most charitable reading I can possibly give them, they're STILL scum for how they handled it.
John's bio-parents must be looking down at their friends from heaven, shaking their heads in disappointment for how they mistreated their son. Who does that to a child who lost their parents!?! It's like they were just doing their dead friends a favor and nothing else.
Second Story: That's just basically clear cut favoritism, that's it. What the mom said is honestly disgusting, seeing your young adopted son as a "predator"? Disgusting, absolutely disgusting.
It's more than favouritism
It's downright abuse
@@TheBluePhoenix008 Emotional abuse at that. I wouldn't be able to hold myself back from lashing out at them as to how emotionally abusive they were. John is the bigger man for not yelling at them.
It's obvious he's just a trophy. Once she no longer wants to be a saint, she made up an excuse to kick him out and villainize him for being an orphan.
There was speculation that the mom may have been a victim of sexual abuse in her youth so sought to protect her daughters in the worst way possible. I don't think that explains why she pushed him away though. That leads me to the other speculation which was that either mom had feelings for or was having an affair with John's bio dad and when he started to look more like his dad, her motherly feelings started switching to feelings of (and I hate that I have to say this) lust for her son. So she couldn't be affectionate with him because she was attracted to him and branded him a "predator" to justify and rationalize her behavior
Seriously. Had to literally take a zanex after hearing that part.
It‘s disgusting that they treated their 12yo son like a predator for only existing. But that the Mom thinks he‘s a "sexually mature man" is just🤮. It reminds me of the story of that school, where they lengthened the girls‘ skirts because the male staff were getting "distracted". Getting "distracted" by a child that just started puberty and calling them "sexually mature" is straight up pedo behaviour.
Exactly. She was projecting her predatory desires onto poor John
What does that say abut their parenting? That they think a kid they raised from basically newborn will grow to be a creep just because he isn't blood?! They're weird!
Not to mention what kind of image does she have a sexually mature men that they're going to go after little girls. Sure child Predators generally tend to be straight men but I'd say that's the minority not the majority. They're just stupid and it's just an excuse to being ignorant toxic
"I swear, officer. I thought he was 18."
So trueeeee like ew
Parents be like: "No no, we really do love him just like a real son"
Also parents: "Oh thank god he's gone!"
.... ... you honestly think you didn't treat him differently? Nice lie you tell yourselves so you can sleep at night
Or did they think they were s smooth nobody noticed their mistreatment of John?
Apparently they WERE smooth enough bc no one actually noticed there was a problem until YEARS later when John put it all together and spelled it out for everyone
The mom having the audacity to act like she’s proud of her son and misses him when she literally accused him of being a predator. Disgusting...
The fact that she got weird the moment he started puberty shows that reality was that she had predatory desires for poor John. 🤮
*First OP:* Obviously, OP's sister is a piece of work, but can we talk about her mom? I know where OP's sister got the attitude from! At least OP's husband had her back.
*Second OP:* OP's parents did John super dirty. I wouldn't be surprised if OP and her bio siblings cut contact with their parents because WTF!? I hope OP and her bio siblings can continue to build a relationship with John because they genuinely love him as family.
Shoutout to the thumbnail, btw.
First Story: I had a roommate do this stuff, but she wasn’t my sister, she was a close friend. She needed a place to stay for a while, so we rented her our spare room.
She hit on my husband constantly, wore skimpy outfits, would touch his chest, make sexual comments and jokes, etc.
My husband actually came to me saying how uncomfortable he was and that he dreaded coming home because of her.
When I told her it wasn’t working out and that she needed to find a new place, there was thankfully no drama. She seemed to know it was coming.
We didn’t talk anymore after that.
As smooth as things went, I was honestly furious and stressed out over it. I just tried hard not to show it because I specifically didn’t want drama and didn’t want to embarrass my husband further.
I don't get people like this...it's like feeding their ego by getting someone who is in a happy, committed relationship is much more important than any other relationship in their lives.
@@janew5550 Not sure about why men do this kind of thing but from what I've both heard and read, a good number of women are more attracted to men who are in relationships because they're seen as more desirable than men who are single. It's a scummy thing to do regardless of gender and the people that do it deserve what's coming to them.
@@erasablefallen7223 That makes sense, but at the same time is like... EW???? wtf D:
@@aderpyaxolotl yeah it sucks ;-;
@@erasablefallen7223 fr. That's awful...
Now I understand why John is going very little to no contact with them they're horrible people what was the point of you adopting him if you're not going to love him as much as you do your own biological children.
Wait until you realise the inc*St
@@justaperson4656 what are you talking about
@@justaperson4656 what are you talking about?
@@james14294 the mother having sexual thoughts about John, assuming John will be a predator to her other kids, etc. Even if they aren't biologically related, that is still her son and has a lot of inc*st undertones
@@justaperson4656 what are you talking about?
As a mother I could never treat my children like that, no matter if they are biologically mine or not. Children don't decide who gave birth to them, or who they lose, but if you decide to adopt a child, you treat them well and give them love. Every child deserves love, not to be put through hell.
Exactly !!! They CHOSE to keep him but they didn't have to. I'm so frustrated and my heart hurts for the siblings.
I can’t imagine my own mother doing something like that. My best friend is in his 20s and my mother still gives him hugs and kisses like he’s her own son, and she didn’t even raise the man.
@@samaritan_sys 34 here, same. OP's mom is a low key degenerate with thoughts like that
I wish you had been my mom lol.
@@aderpyaxolotl I'm sorry you didn't have that support system, don't you forget though- you deserve amazing things and so much more.
My brother is 14 years older than me. If my mom told me she treated him like some sort of dangerous predator to be watched, I genuinely don't know if I could contain myself or not. She's not watching out for her daughters, she's making up excuses to hate John simply because he had nowhere else to go. God those parents make me fucking sick
I had the opposite problem. I wish my parents had kept a close eye on my older brother who molested me for 10 years.
That's a really good point, I hadn't thought of it like that.
@@Hinatachan360 your parents definitely should have kept a better eye on him. But to treat a teen boy like a sex criminal for no reason, without any evidence, just because they're not related is cruel.
It’s sounds like John and the rest of the siblings need to give the parents a taste of their own medicine. Freeze them out and see how it works out
im usually not one for petty revenge (that's a lie, I totally am-) but YESSSS
Yeah
I could not agree more. I am not one for Revenge but what those parents did is Unforgivable.
And do you think that will make Jonh feel happy? sure the support of his adoptive siblings will be great, but they will cut contact with the parents who raise them as fine as they could, he would feel even worse for how the family turned on, that's why he doesn't tell them anything at the beginning, he was sad about it and resentful to the members of the family, he would have been jealous of the adoptive siblings in some way if not he would have tried to apparent everything going ok and call them regularly.
Second story: I totally understand what OP is coming from not knowing what to do. I mean, in her viewpoint they were loving parents to everyone. They can't for the life off them get into their minds that their parents were abusive towards John. But I really hope that OP and the rest of their siblings go past the step of denial and do the best to support John because he needs them. I think going no contact would the best course of action, even if John disagrees. The parents needs to face consequences and that's the best way to punish them for it.
THIS!! My younger siblings witnessed me being abused throughout their entire lives. They never understood there was anything wrong with it, they just thought it was weird. I don't blame them at ALL because to them it was normalized. It does kind of suck though because I was always super on top of my sisters and trying to make sure they didn't get in trouble so my mom and her bfs didn't go after them, so the middle sister is now constantly like that with the youngest even though they're in a safe environment.
Last story: I wonder if the mum was in love with/attracted to the brother's (bio)father, and once brother hit puberty he looked like his dad. That could be why she pushed him away, and decided(maybe subconsciously) to drive him out ASAP. Not because he would "hurt her daughters", but because she was afraid of what SHE might do. The father may have been aware and also wanted him away from his wife. Some friends they were to the parents, they ab*sed the son of their friends.
I think you hit it on the head. Wife might have had a crush on bio dad but never acted on it. Settled for her husband and started a life with him but when bio dad and bio mom died the boy probably looked more like his mother at that young age. But once puberty hit. She was slapped in the face she still had feelings for the bio dad. So in her twisted mind she pushed her feelings onto her daughters thinking they'll fall in love with him or he'll try something with the girls when it wasn't true. They were just siblings while mom had a twisted fantasy story going in her head.
this is really gross but is totally feasible.
That is an excellent observation. I think you are absolutely right.
Story 2: seems like it was the mom who had predatory thoughts.
Yeah... that was VERY strange
Seemed like a HornPub plot
@Crickets That's might be a possibility. Then she shouldn't have adopted a boy, they usually grow up to be men.
Makes me think she was projecting her own feelings onto him to make herself look better
Wow. That last story broke my heart. My husband and I took in two kids after their parents died. If anyone in my family treated the kids as lesser than they deserved because I didn’t personally birth them, that family member would be out of my life, no questions asked. However, my family are good, reasonable, accepting people, unlike OP’s parents.
I feel like if the husband told the mom about the sister being the pervert, she'd actually listen
Or, she might say he's reading too much into it. "What's a girl supposed to wear out of the shower? So she said OP might not lose the baby weight --- but that could be true, right?" I would have told the guy to take pictures of the sister and send them to the parents. The sister probably would have posed, thinking she was seducing the guy.
@@nancyjay790 Exactly. Mom is definitely going to defend *anything* the sister does. Even without a sexual component...running around the sister's house half dressed when she's been told it's unacceptable is a deal breaker. If you're living in someone else's home especially if you're paying little or nothing, don't buck their rules!
Just NOPE! He’ll become the bad guy that was perving on her sister. If Mum won’t taker her word, he has zero hope of what he’s saying not getting twisted.
Maybe. We'd like to think so, but we don't know enough about the Mom and her relationship with the little sister to know for sure.
@@SpruceOaks At a minimum I'd expect mom to tell the sister not to make drama. If you're doing something unnecessary that bothers your HOST, stop doing it. It's not complicated. The fact that mom instead tried to make OP the bad guy for saying sister's behavior is unacceptable is a sign that sister is the untouchable favorite child.
Oh boy, that story about John. So, dear old Mom couldn't think of John as "one of her babies" once he became "sexually mature"? So she sent him away to "protect her daughters"? Ugh. UGH.
13:29 Rslash just hit a new octave out of pure shock
His name is Dabney 😁
Bro broke the sound barrier 💀
I was the same way too. I was like "YO WTF?" but in a higher octave than him lol
I would say that it being hard to restore the relationship between your siblings for something your adopted parents did is a lot better than it being impossible.
I hate when people try to use “parental instincts” to defend abuse.
If you seriously can’t control your “instincts” then that’s not what it is, it’s a mental illness.
1st story: No pitty for OPs sister. She's being disrespectful to OP AND OP's husband, ignoring the boundries BOTH have requested, and then becoming confrontational when both out their foot down. She's 18 from what OP said so time for her to be an adult.
Second Story: ......Jesus Harold Christ...... what the hell did I listen too?
second story reaction is accurate af
On story 2: it really disturbs me how quickly the mom stopped seeing John as one of her children, considering she chose to adopt him. I can't imagine how awful he must've felt growing up, being treated like a predator by your mother figure, and like a stranger by your father figure. Yeah he shouldn't talk to them for a long while.
Story 2: These parents had the audacity to pretend they're sad because Josh don't have a relationship with them... They knew damn well what they were doing. I hope all siblings go low or no contact with them. I wouldn't be able to look at my parents the same if I found out they were such abusers. Most importantly, I hope Josh will heal from this and they all will have a good relationship. Josh deserves to have people who care about him and will support him.
They want their cake and to eat it too. They wanted not have to be a parent not have to be emotionally available for the child that they went to get all the benefits and all the rewards of being parents. Lot of parents like that out there that one all the benefits being parents but don't want any of the responsibility or the hard work. We call them Deadbeats
My heart really bleeds for John, it’s honestly not fair in any way shape or form for him to lose his real family only to be outcast by the one he finally gets, it’s absolutely horrible how they treated him and shouldn’t have been subjected to it at all in any universe for any reason, I really hope he finds peace because those parents make me violently ill. If I were OP I seriously could not have any real relationship going forward with my parents because what they did was horrible needlessly cruel, abusive and traumatic to John and alienated a kid who just wanted a family, and I would never even want to bring my own children near them going forward
Imagine if a man said it was weird for his teenage daughter to hug him because she’s “sexually mature”
2nd story "John" is a legend.
Hes good man who saw things for what they were so he left and he made it on his own. Total sigma.
13:18 So she was uncomfortable with this poor boy and treated him unfairly because she thought this “stranger” that she took in was gonna do things with her children!? I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM! THEY TREATED HIM UNFAIRLY AND THE PARENTS DON’T LOVE HIM! THEY ADMITTED TO BEING UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND HIM! PLUS SHE ACTUALLY THOUGHT OF HIM AS A THREAT AND STIL LET HIM STAY? disgusting I would cut connections with my parents after that
First story that husband is a keeper
Second story that is…umm…a lot (mom is insane)
The fact that the mom couldn't hug him herself once he hit puberty makes me think she was attracted to him and that is what made her think of him as possibly being a $3xual being himself. 🤮
Sigmund Freud has wet dreams about that last family, Jesus!
If they loved him so much why didn't they treat him equally
The fact that John grew up to be a considerate and empathetic man like he is now is incredible. He could've easily grew up as a bitter, derange man without a care or direction in the world, and yet, he still has the strength to tell his adoptive parents that he understands why he was treated the way they treated him, on top of having a good life away from all that drama and abuse.
Listening to the story made me cry inside. John really knew the meaning of being lonely, and I feel nothing but sadness for him.
John was actually a grown up even when he was only 12 years old. He responded to the ill-treatment so maturely. Did well in school, started working at 18 and became financially independent.
Guarantee John is only trying to distance from the siblings because he’s so selfless, he doesn’t want to strain their relationship with their parents. If I had to choose between my relationship with my brother or my parents under this circumstance, I’d kick my parents to the curb.
One of the many things Reddit has taught me is that some people see adoption as nothing more than long term babysitting.
As someone with a little sister who's adopted, these stories enrage me every time.
Story 1: Imagine trying to steal the spouse of your older sibling. Like, why? Why would you do that?
if the mother thinks that a TWELVE YEAR OLD BOY is a “sexually mature man,” someone needs to lock her ass up.
Younger sister has never been told no in her life and has never been held accountable for her actions. So you get this. A person who can do no wrong, blames others for their normal reactions to her outrageous behavior, and only wants what she can’t have. They are not helping her by being nice. She needs to know and understand that what she did was wrong. Right now she thinks the couple are in the wrong, and that will only push her further away. If she understands what she did, then MAYBE she might feel bad and want forgiveness.
A thought I had about the second story: these parents were probably more toxic than their kids remember. John became their sibling at such a young age, they didn’t notice all of these signs. But with toxic/narcissistic parents, they often choose a sibling to be the “scapegoat”, and it was an obvious choice for them. Their adopted kid became the scapegoat which is why the other children remember their parents being loving- they weren’t subjected to this side of their parents. Truly awful behavior, I hope op and the siblings can rebuild a relationship with John and cut their parents out entirely.
So true. So so true. The others don't see it because they didn't have to experience it (kids so rarely notice what isn't directly affecting them too)...plus being narcissists they most definitely did their best to hide what they were doing.
the second story is heartbreaking :( no child deserves to be treated so poorly. it’s amazing that john stuck up for himself the way he did
First Story: Should've had security footage of sis to send to dear ol' mumsie. Helping her find a place was extremely generous on OP and her partner's part given her predatory behavior. Sucks seeing that someone you love and trust grow up to be a total monster. Girl needs help. Be prepared for her to complain about her new arrangement to mummy dearest. Put your foot down, protect your nest and continue to have your Partner's back.
Last story: If OP's parents were my own, I would NEVER look at them the same way again. I hope OP starts limiting contact with them and keeps her brother close. What their parents have done to a boy who asked for nothing but love and a sense of belonging was truly heinous.
I think the worst part about the sister is that she's sexually harassing her sister's husband and when the dude is uncomfortable, she doesn't care, she only cares about what is most likely, the thrill of stealing her older sister's husband. Not only that, she clearly doesn't care about his feelings because after he told her, point blank, that "I, myself, am uncomfortable with you in what is also MY apartment" and she still thinks he didn't really wany her gone and that OP is the only one making a fuss. Yikes.
John becoming an adult and leaving the day he was 18, to an apartment he already had, not wanting to start fights or conflicts - dude is mature beyond his years.
Hope that strength holds him together, dude has not had as easy life
John's parents legit saw a 12 year old boy as a "sexual being." JOHN isn't the predator, his PARENTS are.
The second story really hit me hard. I was abandoned by my mother (father wasn't in the picture) at 15 which is a story in and of itself, I moved into my then boyfriend's parents house with his two sisters. Nothing I ever did was good enough, I would do chores, clean up after the other kids, and just try to have fun; but no matter how much I tried I was always called an outsider. When they found out that my parents used to be drug addicts the rumors spread through their whole extended family and I was labeled a "drug addicted sinful wh0re". Even though I had never done any drugs, I couldn't even sit next to their son without their father calling me disrespectful and punishing me by constantly threatening to kick me out. His own daughter could cuddle up next to her boyfriend under a blanket and kiss hold handles etc. and he never saw an issue. I remember one time in particular he was driving me home from work and specifically said " You're awful disrespectful and I can totally understand why your mother abandoned you". When I told the mother she told me "I talked to him and he said he didn't say that, you're just trying to start drama. Stop lying." Eventually he did end up kicking me out for literally just being a kid.
That's horrible, I'm sorry that happened to you
I thought the story with the adoptive brother was going to be something like "My parent's just couldn't love him the same because sharing affection with him just reminded them of their dead friends." Which would suck but I could understand that a bit. But nope. The mom is out there SEXUALIZING A TEENAGED BOY. WTF?
Exactly. That's exactly what she was doing. She was projecting her own predatory issues onto poor John.
HA take THAT to all the people that said first, you shall receive NO SATISFACTION
Thank you so much for this
I love you.
First
Gigachad
👏👏👏👏👏
should've asked that dad "then why were you annoyed when he asked you about it and why were you happy after he said no?"
I love this sub, please do more of them. Thanks Rslash. Also I hope Lilly is doing well, you’re a good dad. One of my favorite things about you is the way you add positive values to your channel. Some of your comments make me stop and think. My marriage has gotten even better because I listen to you every day and I’m reminded to be the best and most supportive spouse I can be. Thank you.
Story 1:
Sister: If your husband really loves you, you wouldn't feel threatened by me.
OP: I don't feel threatened by you. I feel disrespected by you.
I feel for John like so much. I understand why OP had that thought in her mind originally, she didn't want the idea she had in her head to be a lie. No one wants that, it's understandable. I mean, if you've grown up thinking your parents are loving and stuff, you would likely hate to have to recognize the reality that they don't. It's hard, but it's also mature so I'm proud she decided to face the fear. But man, they really did him so dirty. I can't imagine how he feels, literally from the age of puberty being seen like a sexual deviant by someone who is supposed to be your mother. I can't imagine what that does to you.
Glad his siblings at the very least not only love him but were angry on his behalf. That's love, even if it was all made complicated by the parents.
I'm sure that little sister didn't even want that man, she just wanted to be showered with attention and positive reinforcement of being wanted. That´s all it is, she literally just wanted to be a temptation so she could feel better than her older sister. Gross.
Adopted brother story: there was some speculation in the comments about the mom. Either
A) she was a victim of sexual abuse as a kid which is why she had to "protect her daughters". But that wouldn't explain why she stopped being affectionate which leads to.
Or
B) either she had feelings for or was having an affair with John's bio dad and when John began to look like his bio dad, it stirred something in her.
What I'm saying is that she became attracted to her 12 year old son(🤢🤮) and in order to justify keeping him at arms length and not feeling like a monster she made him a predator in her mind.
Whether A or B, it was a BS rationalization that abused her son because of her own issues.
Or C she started having predatory desires for John because she is a pedo....because even if John looked like someone she had an affair with (he would have always looked that way, or it would have been once he FINISHED puberty that he looked like his father).... the fact that she started viewing him as a $3xual being at 12 is telling...... if it had been once he finished puberty and was filled out....then i would vote B..... but the timing says she starting looking at him that way at such a young age because she is a nonce.
Excluding John from the hunting trip was undoubtedly a result of the parents thinking John was somehow a danger. Mom becomes sexually attracted to a 12-year-old (which is nowhere near sexually mature) and suddenly he's the problem? I wonder if she would exhibited this same behavior had she become attracted to one of her biological sons?
As someone who was in a similar situation to John, being an adopted child in a family with clear favortism that made me feel isolated and unwanted, I completely understand how he feels. Though we had our support switched, his was his siblings while mine was my mom, I stand by him in not knowing how to move forward without those stigmas getting in the way.
Last story: I just know that wherever John’s parents are, they would be very disgusted and disappointed with OP’s parents. Those friends trusted OP’s parents enough to take care of John, but those people broke him. They hurt and scarred him probably for life. They feel shame because they knew they were cruel and wrong to treat their late friends’ son like that.
1st story: i have a family member that does stuff like that, she dropped out of college but since shes very attractive she goes around trying to sleep with the husbands or fathers of her friends, and one time she straight up told us that she does it coz she deserves a better life and they could give it to her, so yeah.
How dumb she is.....she needs to find a single person who can "give her that life" because something that clearly isn't dawning on her.....those guys aren't going to have the same finances to take care of her when they are paying alimony 🤦🤦♀️🤦♂️
First story, who else corrected their posture after Op was insulted on her posture?
I thought I was the only one 😅growing my dad had a thing about mine and my siblings posture so whenever I hear someone get scolded for their posture I straighten my posture
I hear that all the time. Stand up straight or you'll get a hump when you're old lol.
Guilty as charged.
Can't. I'm laying down.
"Her instinct became to protect her daughters" - That makes no sense. First, why would being cold to her son stop him from being a predator? Second, blood relation doesn't stop predators. The other boys in that family were just as much of a risk to her daughters as John was. Hell, their father was just as much of a risk!
Kick the sister out and why is OP even helping her find another place? Let her live on the street, she did it to herself.
She's probably looking because she doesn't want mom and sis to gang up on her. Sometimes it's just mentally safer to do things like this. Remember she is pregnant. The stress of those bullies would have been too much.
you have siblings that were good as children? not that easy to just let them go.
I was saying that myself. Her sister was INTENT on completely ruining OP's life, yet the OP feels obligation to set up housing for that sl*t? No. Get her out. Live in your car for all I care. You wanted to nuke my family, you get zero consideration from me. I would have had her shit outside in garbage bags and told her she had half an hour to drive back to the apartment and pick them up before you walk in and let randos pick over her crap.
@@MarkarthCityGuard yeah, also like sure she was being an asshole, but not like, kicked out on the street asshole. plus, sometimes you wanna be the bigger person (only somtimes tho lol)
You're probably gonna get a lot of hate for this comment, but I half agree with you. What I would have done instead is have OP and the husband sit down and give her 1-1 1/2 months to find her own place or she has to move back in with her mother, and if she doesn't want to live with her mother? Then good luck. I would have OP explain that what she did was NOT okay and tell her no exceptions. I would also ask the husband to share what made him uncomfortable and why and also have him explain to her that his wife isn't the only one with concerns. I would make sure the husband uses words like "gross," "immature," and for him to talk about how she's embarrassing herself because she's acting so [stupid.] (maybe not the word stupid, but another derogatory word that knocks her to her senses.)
Ha, the only way for me to catch Rslash videos the moment they're uploaded is to literally wake up by accident when it's still dark...then stare at the ceiling for an hour in a sleepy stupor, THEN turn on my phone.
As someone who's always wanted to adopt over having bio kids, John's story is heartbreaking. Biology doesn't matter like that.
That second story: yeah those parents are straight up lying, they knew they were favoriting them and using the sexual predator excuse to cove there asses
Agreed....and if it is true that the "mom" suddenly couldn't hug him once he hit puberty, sounds more like she was attracted to him and she was projecting her weird desires onto him.
@@SoManyRandomRamblings and now I don’t know what’s worse lol
Those parents need to see a therapist. If they don't accept and get help I would say no grandchildren over because I don't want to have them interacting with the messed up individuals that I don't understand what relationships between families are.
That second story was sad. This was an opportunity for the parents to change the trajectory of John's life after his parents died so that he felt loved and included and instead they treated him like an unwanted orphan. And then the fact the mom treated him as a predator because he was an pubescent boy living under their roof (that they invited him to live under!) with their daughters is just sick. Who thinks of a little boy like that. I seriously hope the OP and her siblings have distanced themselves from their parents and are continuing to try to show John that they love him as a brother and that blood doesn't matter to them.
Story 2: So basically OP's mother started to become sexually attracted to John (when he was 11, mind you) and punished him for it? OP's dad noticed (and was probably fed some garbage about sexuality by the mom), got insecure and punished John for it? It's understandable that OP and the other siblings never noticed anything, but John may be cutting out some innocents here. Good luck to all the siblings, especially John.
I agree...I think she was projecting her weird desires onto John.
Although I respect your opinion, I do not see how such blatant favoritism could not be seen by any of the "siblings". I do not feel it is "understandable" and I doubt if John can understand such a thing either.
Son of close family friends… hmmm… makes me wonder if he looked like his late father and there were latent feelings.
@@MarkDC101 People that witness abuse, as well as those in the middle of the abuse, dont always realize abuse is going on. Especially in a case like this, where the witnesses (OP and siblings) never experienced any form of the abuse themselves. On top of that anything they did witness were all small isolated events that could be brushed off as John having upset them somehow (which they is what they said, I guarantee you). The only reason it's obvious now is because everything was listed out after OP and siblings got talking.
It’s happened. Dabney has done so many videos he is reading the same ones others have done months ago! Buuuutt! Hearing Rslash read them is a whole new level of crazy! His upbeat voice and silly dad jokes are the best!!
Last story yeah, while I would cut the relationship with my parents, seems like OP needs more time to fully process everything. Hope someday he realizes the seriousness of the matter.
Poor, poor John... I felt sooo bad for him the whole story.
Sounds like the entire family could use some help.
Story 1: That younger sister is jealous and envy for OP for having a husband that she has a crush on.
Obviously the sister in the first story sucks but I can't get over the fact that OP was allowing her sister to sexually harass her husband under her own roof and then told him 'Yeah can you be the one to tell her she has to leave, it's too hard for me'
so you saw that too.
Are you kidding me? She specifically did that so that her sister won't accuse her of feeling jealous that is not hard for she she just didn't want to be called names here!
@@MartialArtswithLucyLu So that means its right to send a victim of sexual harassment to the harasser. Being called names by someone who does wrong doesnt seem as bad as that to me.
Wait, I thought husband said he would do it so that sister could get the message. Otherwise sister would just gaslight and think she could stay anyway? This would also work to stop any future harassment since being shut down this firmly by the object of her lust would serve to both reflect and cause major damage to her ego. I mean it didn't really work since when she left she still thought it was OP who kicked her and used her husband, but I could see the reasoning.
@@C.G.Gaster Well you have to experience it to know how it feels I've experienced name calling so I know ho that feels that is why I don't really see the big deal here especially since it looks they did it together but with OP avoiding the gaslighting and such here!
Story 1: "If I kick her out, she won't be able to finish her studies" That's so sad 😭
Kick her out anyway.
Edit: "If your husband _really_ loved you then you wouldn't feel threatened" He does love Op, that's why he's kicking you out. You're upsetting his wife and she's more important to him then you will _ever_ be.
In the first story I'm more surprised that the on thing they never addressed was "Okay, I can ignore the walking around in a towel and skippy clothes, it just means you're comfortable with us... fine. But how do you explain badmouthing my wife to my face?" The thing a husband should be upset about because there is zero reason to justify that behavior beyond "You could do better than the one who's carrying your child..."
Okay... that 2nd story update... I'm gonna say it. "Op's mom in that story is *disgusting.*"
On that main story.... I feel for John and those parents are horrible. I grew up with stepparents. And you know what? Even though my stepmother divorced my father she to this day still treats me the same as she does her biological son and until the day he died my stepfather treated me as no different than his biological children. No different whatsoever, to the point that THIS was my major life lesson from that great man: The closest of family, is rarely blood. To the OP of that post - John is your brother. Treat him that way and show him that he will always be your brother to you.
The mom pushing off her adopted son when he tried to hug her reminded me of my mom.. Only it's a little different because she's my biological mom. I would always try to hug her even growing up and she wouldn't like it, and would push me away or just not reciprocate... One day she did it in front of half the school, because it was an awards ceremony, and she just shook my hand while every other kid got to hug their mom... she just side stepped and shook my hand...
Wow, I’m really sorry that happened to you. I can’t imagine how you must have felt in that moment and I’m sure that pain stays with you… I hope that didn’t cause you to feel like something was wrong with you… it seems like your mom may have experienced some form of trauma that could have influenced her behavior toward you.
@@amandadee412 that would make sense. Though my family has always been stubborn and refuses to talk to each other. Even me, i'm too scared to talk to them about most things, so we all kinda just drift apart. I was just told that my mother just didn't like to be touched. But when you're growing up and just wanna hug and cuddle your mom, it's hard to understand why she doesn't want to.
@@wouldntyouliketoknowwesath7789 I completely understand what you mean when you say that growing up, kids want to hug their parents and I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been for you. I’m a mother and I have a 9 year old daughter who is very affectionate and always wants to hold my hand or hug me and I know it would break her heart if I didn’t hug her back. I’m so sorry that you experienced that and I really hope that you are living a happy, joyous life. Sending you hugs 🤗
I will never understand parents that neglect the children they CHOSE to adopt, or get weird hangups about not being biologically related (as if that has anything to do with whether or not someone becomes a sexual predator). It's sick, illogical, and cruel.
“You’re imagining things because you’re insecure” it’s VERY weird that the mom and the sister used the same exact language to gaslight OP.
Op's younger sister is the one who is insecure. She is constantly flaunting herself to Op's husband because she wants validation. Confident and secure women don't go after married men, especially not one whos married to their own sister. I would have zero sympathy for her. Op and her husband made their boundaries very clear and all her sister did was mock them. She made her bed she can lie in it.
Once again, RSLASH and I were on the same wavelength with something. His response post-update for that last story is exactly what I was thinking.
Eeeeew. Mom was Physically attracted to her own adopted son… Is that what i am hearing. !!
I don't think any of the kids will see or speak to their parents ever again after all that and nobody will be there to bury them when they die.
1S) Younger Sister is so insecure and jealous that she's "trying" to seduce her BIL who doesn't even want her while OP is having a difficult pregnancy.
2S) They are horrible parents. Like why the would adopted a kid and treat them like a "predator" that doesn't even make sense. Give John some space and work at arms length to rebuild your relationship.
The fact that the moment he hit puberty the "mom" suddenly couldn't hug him anymore the fact that that is the age when started $3xualizing him....makes me think she is a pedo....and she was projecting her predatory desires onto poor John.
Last story: I'd probably drop the parents and let the John know he will always be my brother.
I saw a few instances in various FICTIONAL works that described story 2. Never in my inebriated-induced nightmares would I ever imagined someone out there would have this insane concept of thought.
You'd be surprised cause that mother's fear is real! I've known a set of step kids that actually got married after sneaking behind the parents backs for years.
@@lmaree200886 Interesting. Was there any fall-out as a result?
That's literally just how abusive and often narcissistic parents are. They do things so over the top, have such a backwards line of logic, and put on such a good act to the outside, that even if the abused kid DID speak up, no one would believe him.
@@songohan3321 For a while there was some tension but they got over it once grandkids were born! 🤣
@@AmyoftheFlowerField so true. My parents were narcissistic abusers and everyone thought they were so great.
My future ex husband and I verbally adopted 2 grown "boys" (they were 19 and 20 when we "adopted" them). They are literally young enough to be our sons. 5 years later, we are getting divorced. NEVER, EVER would I see them as possible sex partners. In fact, the idea of seeing them this way makes me physically ill BECAUSE THEY ARE MY SONS! The mother and father are so absolutely disgusting in every way. I feel so sorry for John. I hope he finds a family to call his own and I hope he can work towards being family with the kids because it's seems they truly love him as a sibling. I can understand OP's reaction to what he said. She doesn't want to believe the parents who loved her so much don't love him because it is too much for her to deal with emotionally.
If the siblings don't hold those parents accountable, they don't deserve a relationship with John. They're gonna be all talk until Christmas shows up and they have to pick a side and John's alone on holidays.
So a couple of points on the second story. Is there a possibility that the mom had been abused as a girl? Yes, I think so.I have seen it where a mother (not even adoptive) began to emotionally separate from her daughter around the age that she had been abused as a child because she hadn't delt with her repressed memories. So the idea that she was suddenly protecting her daughters/self from someone she had an emotional attachment to suggests some past trauma.
Just because the mom in the 2nd story is a pervert doesn't give her the right to neglect John
I have to wonder if maybe John's bio-parents were as good friends with OP's parents as everyone thought....
Maybe they resented them for something? Maybe a lot of people were like, "oh YOU should adopt this boy who needs parents, you've already adopted, yes you have him, bye".
But that it hands down one of the cruelest stories Rslash has ever read. Heartbreaking
I understand the "not being able to ignore he is a sexual mature male", "must protect daughters" just because that's the mentality I grew up in.... my mom had that same mindset and, though I know she means well and was just trying to protect me from the world, it's made things really difficult... I'm TERRIFIED of any hint of interest shown my way to the point I went into a panic attack when someone asked me out and I lost a best friend.... I'm in therapy but hearing that story just made something in my gut clench and it left a bad taste because I could understand the mindset....
Totally feel you. I'm in the exact same situation. I crave a boyfriend, but honestly I just want to throw up everytime a guy approaches me, because of the mindset my mother pushed on me. It's sad and frustrating. But I guess the only thing we can do is to go to therapy and fix ourselves before we inflict trauma on our future family and children.
@Roxana Toncean That is EXACTLY how I feel! Oh my gawd, the amount of relief to know that there are others out there with the EXACT feelings I have is such a relief. I thought I was alone in that so I am actually crying right now.
@@brabbit736 I am so glad too that I found someone who shares the same experiences! This finally puts a name on the problem and makes me realize so many other things... I am glad I am not alone and it's a really huge relief indeed.
Funny, my parents, especially my mother, keep asking if I got a boyfriend yet. Uhh, with the trauma you gave me, not anytime soon 😭 I actually got to meet a good guy that actually was respecting my boundaries, never touched me without consent and was just sweet overall. But my trauma just made me ghost him, so yeah. I feel horrible and the life of a single mother sounds so appealing 🤡
@Roxana Toncean I know how you feel. I feel horrible for ghosting a guy who was a best friend literally since elementary school. I didn't know how to face him or talk to him though when he blindsided me with a Valentine's dinner date and my mom told me how disappointed she was with me for turning him down. I almost threw up in his car though when he asked me out when he was driving me back after the long awkward dinner.
That event actually gave me the push for therapy finally.
@@brabbit736 I admire your strenght. I think I would have really throwed up 🙃 Especially if he was a guy I knew for that long 😭 I can only imagine the pain you're going through for losing him... I met this guy on Instagram and talked for 3 weeks before having an actual date and I felt overwhelmed as it was. I don't know what I would have done if he was a best friend. Since ELEMENTARY school on top of that 😭😭😭
Hope you are doing well. Keep your head up and know that your experiences are valid and people like your mother deserve no explanation 🙌🏻
The older sister feeling guilty shouldn’t worry about her little sister being inconvenienced. The little sister is the one who chose to behave disrespectfully in a house that isn’t hers. It’s her own fault she was asked to leave. How embarrassing, that you can’t behave well enough around other people that they ask you to leave. She should be ashamed haha.
Exactly.
Oh god the mom's explanation in the second story makes me wanna throw up
That last story REALLY pissed me off. I don't think I've ever been this angry about a Reddit post. Fuck, man.
I was ready to call OP1's husband an a-hole but I was very relieved to find out he was holding his tongue out of respect to his wife. Refreshing.
Story 2, the fact that john thinks its unhuman of them to love him is so fucked up. I lived with a foster family for a while, no relation to my real family, no common friends no nothing and yet they still gave their full 100%, even now they still have a picture of me on their walls.
I simply don't understand those parents. They raised John from a baby and they don't feel like his parents. The mom sees him as a sexual being. They should know that all their kids saw each other as siblings. When people adopt babies they usually take them to their hearts and become family. Emotionally as well as legally.
Mom revealed that she's a pedo.....she pushed him away when she became attracted to him. She started not being able to trust herself and they blamed him rather than accept she is a nonce.
That last story absolutely disgusted me. As a person who was in the foster care system, the way those parents treated that guy is absolutely unforgivable. He did nothing to be treated that way
Felt rslash on that second story. OP was all like "NO! They love him the SAME!!!H-how do we fix thissss🥺🥺🥺🥺" after John specifically told them that he absolutely wasnt being treated the same (with proof). Way to go OP, way to go 😐
I was adopted, but my experience was the opposite in the extreme. My little sister (my parent's bio child) grew up hearing about how I was the special child they chosen. I was the golden child, and my sister always felt like she was unwanted. The divide is so deep my sister and her husband (nor her child) don't have contact with any of us. Family drama really can make or break us.
John’s adoptive parents earned the rare five out of five A#$hole score