The Shocking Florida Machete Murder

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 11K

  • @BuzzFeedUnsolvedNetwork
    @BuzzFeedUnsolvedNetwork  5 ปีที่แล้ว +8300

    Make sure to leave your questions for our Post Mortem episode down below!

    • @ilovebugs19
      @ilovebugs19 5 ปีที่แล้ว +89

      What is your favorite cupcake

    • @sam-ws3dp
      @sam-ws3dp 5 ปีที่แล้ว +161

      which one of you is more likely to buy a machete-

    • @WillddKvic
      @WillddKvic 5 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      BuzzFeed Unsolved Network I love the show!! Question for post mortem- if you two were in the hot daga, what food would you be?? Love you guys!!

    • @puppylover-hp8yr
      @puppylover-hp8yr 5 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      What would your last meal be

    • @apoorvajoshi225
      @apoorvajoshi225 5 ปีที่แล้ว +102

      #RoastMortem Why does Shane looks like one of the boring and nerdy Harvard students from Legally blonde 😂😂

  • @megankron9294
    @megankron9294 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17707

    lmaoo Francis straight up said " rip to Athalia, but im different.." then died THE SAME WAY

    • @JaviXT
      @JaviXT 4 ปีที่แล้ว +510

      "but im different" lmaoooo

    •  4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Karma

    • @loveisanopendoor5745
      @loveisanopendoor5745 4 ปีที่แล้ว +599

      i bet francis said 👁👄👁 when she saw a man with a machete walking towards her

    • @mromatic17
      @mromatic17 4 ปีที่แล้ว +214

      lol that’s why pride is one of the 7 deadly sins

    • @sabinfigaro7334
      @sabinfigaro7334 4 ปีที่แล้ว +111

      How do you not get seen chopping people, let alone walking with a machete. I got stopped for walking with an axe.. at night...but it's not a suburb it's just the one road...in a rural community in Alaska...when no one is around.. Soo imagine being in a neighborhood wearing a white shirt.. after butchering someone...no one saw? No maids? BS.

  • @pyrenox
    @pyrenox 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14519

    "Clementine, the bluejay, was never seen again."
    *A gasp in the audience*

    • @qtsvxga
      @qtsvxga 5 ปีที่แล้ว +125

      Pluto *pretends to be shocked*

    • @lily-ne3lb
      @lily-ne3lb 5 ปีที่แล้ว +162

      *surprised pikachu*

    • @JamesJacksonFilmz
      @JamesJacksonFilmz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      *Cues Dramatic Music*

    • @jitbb8215
      @jitbb8215 5 ปีที่แล้ว +113

      The bird did it

    • @FakeAssHandsomeMcGee_
      @FakeAssHandsomeMcGee_ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      It does look cute.

  • @AlashiaTuol
    @AlashiaTuol 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4326

    I love how Ryan looks at the camera when Shane talks about his bloody nose and knows
    *_knows_*
    EXACTLY what the audience will think about that XD

    • @yazz5747
      @yazz5747 4 ปีที่แล้ว +77

      @T.R *laughs in conspiracy*

    • @CottonCandySharks
      @CottonCandySharks 4 ปีที่แล้ว +124

      @T.R That Shane is a demon! Trying desperately to get us to not believe in demons!

    • @peachbunni3
      @peachbunni3 4 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      Cotton Candy Sharks XDDD YEP!! No wonder why demons and ghost never show up. Shane is too strong.

    • @CottonCandySharks
      @CottonCandySharks 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@peachbunni3 absolute best fan theory! XD

    • @justanormaldude42069
      @justanormaldude42069 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Cotton Candy Sharks foolish mortal, he is Satan of course! The devil himself!!

  • @pepps1943
    @pepps1943 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2962

    "I CANT THINK WITH ALL THIS EVIDENCE DISTRACTING ME!! Get it out of here!" -Florida cops

    • @winecrimesfoodandtime7119
      @winecrimesfoodandtime7119 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Exactly

    • @Ke0h298
      @Ke0h298 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      only in Florida

    • @jellybeanboy
      @jellybeanboy ปีที่แล้ว +15

      "Now.... Back to my hunch!"

    • @JCMProductions
      @JCMProductions ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@jellybeanboy look for clues, I tell ya, we’ll draw chalk around where the body is, that way we’ll know it was

  • @veryvanii
    @veryvanii 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6092

    shane: i got a nosebleed in a church once
    ryan: 👁👄👁

  • @chelseav418
    @chelseav418 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13874

    francis really pulled an "im not like other girls" and then got murdered the same way as athalia I CANT

    • @LemonSte
      @LemonSte 4 ปีที่แล้ว +144

      Well not the exact same lol, Frances got bludgeoned

    • @braceface1514
      @braceface1514 4 ปีที่แล้ว +94

      i howled do you hear me😭

    • @Iarenormal
      @Iarenormal 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      You can’t what?

    • @Iarenormal
      @Iarenormal 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Lucas why can’t u breathe I mean like what u said wasn’t funny

    • @Iarenormal
      @Iarenormal 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Daniel Godoy ok

  • @rachelanne7945
    @rachelanne7945 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2654

    Ryan: I don’t jump to theories
    Also Ryan: Idk it was probably aliens

    • @prathamesh245
      @prathamesh245 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Guys please make a video on princess diana.

    • @nikkovalidor4890
      @nikkovalidor4890 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      ryan also mocked the big about them using hypnosis when in any other case hed geniunely take it

    • @ahmedrizwan7235
      @ahmedrizwan7235 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      The Gloria Ramirez case theories in the end was exactly this 😂

  • @madshadow8586
    @madshadow8586 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6309

    Old crimes really be like "It happened in the mayors' office and the only person around was the mayor, but he wouldn't have done it so it's unsolvable."

  • @briannahenderson2421
    @briannahenderson2421 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2378

    Lol the hose the blood away thing reminds me of that John Mulaney joke
    _"we found a pool of the killer's blood in the hallway"_
    _"hmm gross, mop it up"_

    • @leslielemerond5766
      @leslielemerond5766 5 ปีที่แล้ว +114

      Now, back to my hunch!

    • @arigat-o9670
      @arigat-o9670 5 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      It’s like the criminals dressed up to rob the bank.

    • @hexcetera
      @hexcetera 5 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      @@arigat-o9670 its like they were going to church in atlanta

    • @camrynpetti9128
      @camrynpetti9128 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Maryjane D. It’s like they made a day of it!

    • @citrusghost4536
      @citrusghost4536 5 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      we'll draw chalk around where the body is, so we'll know where it was

  • @CatbaronAle
    @CatbaronAle 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15722

    It’s wild that most of these stories remaining unsolved are just a result of really shoddy police work.

    • @yourworstnightmare6003
      @yourworstnightmare6003 5 ปีที่แล้ว +684

      Or conspiracies (eg. people or towns working to cover evidence up or frame others).

    • @TheresaGreenwald
      @TheresaGreenwald 5 ปีที่แล้ว +607

      This particular case seems intentionally shoddy.

    • @MagisterialVoyager
      @MagisterialVoyager 5 ปีที่แล้ว +102

      @@yourworstnightmare6003 LMAO I was about to say cover up and conspiracy but you beat me to it.

    • @rhian4876
      @rhian4876 5 ปีที่แล้ว +82

      *_shoddy_*

    • @kumikamii
      @kumikamii 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Janee Doe like the McElroy murder

  • @minaswife8027
    @minaswife8027 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5739

    Florida: Hose it off
    Iceland: Solitary confinement
    The watcher: Hailed

    • @MABfan11
      @MABfan11 5 ปีที่แล้ว +150

      ALL HAIL THE WATCHER

    • @njblackbird3148
      @njblackbird3148 5 ปีที่แล้ว +167

      Hotel?: Trivago

    • @Herebutnotreally
      @Herebutnotreally 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Your username is perfection never change it

    • @Kai_Glitxh
      @Kai_Glitxh 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      ⚪⚫ALL HAIL THE WATCHER⚪⚫

    • @baksteen99
      @baksteen99 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Hotel: Trivago

  • @HunterNorth90
    @HunterNorth90 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6487

    The thing with Shane's bird is the only time in the whole series I've seen Shane getting riled up by Ryan and not the other way around. Shane doesn't joke around when it comes to his birds.

    • @frostythehoeman6969
      @frostythehoeman6969 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      Bird people creep me out 😬

    • @DenitaArnold
      @DenitaArnold 4 ปีที่แล้ว +91

      Yes, but it was his pet. Ryan should have backed down. I can't watch this ep cuz this.

    • @Chi-pv7dk
      @Chi-pv7dk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +431

      @@DenitaArnold really bro it ain’t that deep he was fine afterwards

    • @multifandombish1855
      @multifandombish1855 4 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      @@frostythehoeman6969 idk what's so creepy about Bird ppl?

    • @ryanrex5327
      @ryanrex5327 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      @@DenitaArnold Snowflake

  • @ronnnaway
    @ronnnaway 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5482

    "Detective, we found a pool of the killer's blood in that hallway."
    "Hmmm, gross. Mop it up. Now, back to my hunch."

    • @uaintrecognizemehoe8128
      @uaintrecognizemehoe8128 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Lunch**

    • @boltzy_
      @boltzy_ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Stolen

    • @ronnnaway
      @ronnnaway 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I didn't realize before posting this that someone else already did

    • @boltzy_
      @boltzy_ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@ronnnaway yall just happen to have the same comment

    • @xXxGordO241xXx
      @xXxGordO241xXx 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      *STOLEN COMMENT!!!*
      original one has 3.8k plus likes somewhere around there

  • @veronicalarr7681
    @veronicalarr7681 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1766

    "Clementine, the Blue Jay, was never seen again." THE BIRDS WORK FOR THE BOURGEOISIE

  • @icantthinkofaname1483
    @icantthinkofaname1483 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5386

    "Clementine, the blue jay, was never seen again."
    That's a little sus. I'm gonna say the bird did it

    • @loretta5653
      @loretta5653 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Birds are evil

    • @adambump5297
      @adambump5297 5 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      Yes a little tiny Blue Jay lifting a nearly three pound metal object it makes too much sense.

    • @loretta5653
      @loretta5653 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Witchcraft?

    • @darthfred45
      @darthfred45 5 ปีที่แล้ว +93

      Clementine put down the machete

    • @loretta5653
      @loretta5653 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Yea! Birds These Days, Amirite?

  • @Olives23485
    @Olives23485 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8221

    I love how the murder happend on the porch in broad daylight yet the case still remains unsolved

    • @winecrimesfoodandtime7119
      @winecrimesfoodandtime7119 3 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      Exactly?

    • @jordankane554
      @jordankane554 3 ปีที่แล้ว +467

      As a born and raised Floridian, I can say, that seems perfectly logical

    • @johnlouis1416
      @johnlouis1416 3 ปีที่แล้ว +240

      You love how there was a Legitimate Witneas and he said "he seems to be going to the neighbors house... oh well ill just make sure *I don't confirm* he walked into that home"
      *goes to Wrestle a Gator as a work out and eats a Raw Burmese Python as a post workout meal*

    • @jamesswindley9599
      @jamesswindley9599 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      Florida 😂 I don’t get why Florida is a joke in America 😂

    • @thebatmanwholaughs7877
      @thebatmanwholaughs7877 3 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      Well it is Florida

  • @starfiyaharts
    @starfiyaharts 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1814

    ryan heard all the complaints about his messy hair and decided to go full cockatoo... really paying his respects to shane's bird i guess #roastmortem

    • @aaryadevnani
      @aaryadevnani 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      If this doesn't get in, I'mma be disappointed

    • @clea8383
      @clea8383 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      This better get in

    • @yuh5470
      @yuh5470 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thais should get in

    • @osayialeopinion9028
      @osayialeopinion9028 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Imma throw a fit if this doesn't get in

  • @GippyHappy
    @GippyHappy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12774

    "If I were Athalia I would simply not be murdered. Rip her but I'm different"
    -Frances, shortly before being murdered

    • @Yeeishaw
      @Yeeishaw 4 ปีที่แล้ว +486

      Frances really said breed: different 😈

    • @Nyrella
      @Nyrella 4 ปีที่แล้ว +72

      well not the same way tbh. no machete for francis.

    • @agentelvis81
      @agentelvis81 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Not the same way at all. Did you watch the video?

    • @bobinasack
      @bobinasack 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Woah cool, same exact comment as the top 2 above you

    • @piadylan1207
      @piadylan1207 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      those comments are taking me out 💀💀

  • @Isabells-z5e
    @Isabells-z5e 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5530

    Frances: Im gonna prove that this place is safe by walking alone in the dark !
    murderer : am I a joke to you ?

    • @razkable
      @razkable 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      i mean it was 9 months later so...

    • @babyvia6712
      @babyvia6712 5 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Dude if that’s ur pfp u are fine as hell

    • @Isabells-z5e
      @Isabells-z5e 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@babyvia6712 aww that's sweet thanks

    • @Emma-up9zr
      @Emma-up9zr 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Olivia Eyes
      What a mood

    • @HezeJunior
      @HezeJunior 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      LMFAO 😭💀

  • @AzaStark
    @AzaStark 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3419

    Shane: * talks about the time he walked into a church and got a nosebleed innocently *
    Ryan (internally): *_WHeRE's mY HoLY waTER?!?_*

    • @lelouchvibritannia4028
      @lelouchvibritannia4028 4 ปีที่แล้ว +166

      Exactly what I'm thinking. Shane is a demon. He bled due to being around holy artifacts and prayers.

    • @johnrubin3907
      @johnrubin3907 4 ปีที่แล้ว +110

      Even tho he has disrespected so many haunted things, and nothing happened to him. I am starting to think Shane is a demon

    • @spork9207
      @spork9207 4 ปีที่แล้ว +77

      Shane * walks into church. God * give the demon a nose bleed

    • @ollies08
      @ollies08 3 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      More evidence that shane is a demon

    • @AsianSpeciminYT
      @AsianSpeciminYT 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      i agree with your pfp picture 🤝

  • @ranchdip8779
    @ranchdip8779 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1635

    the look ryan got on his face in the immediate instant after realizing shane got a nosebleed in church was "wait, demon?"

    • @black-op345gaming5
      @black-op345gaming5 5 ปีที่แล้ว +104

      It went from 0-100 Unsolved Supernatural that quickly.

    • @coolmoth3771
      @coolmoth3771 5 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      demön?? demön

    • @black-op345gaming5
      @black-op345gaming5 5 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      Cool Moth Hey there demons it’s me ya boi.

    • @SieMiezekatze
      @SieMiezekatze 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      his eyes lmao

    • @hellogorls5794
      @hellogorls5794 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      ranch dip Call Sam and Dean

  • @lethalleithan8523
    @lethalleithan8523 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1566

    Shane: “I got a nosebleed in church once”
    Ryan: “Next time on Buzzed Unsolved”

    • @tiffanycalhoun9993
      @tiffanycalhoun9993 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Lol I've gotten a nosebleed in church too. And i also started getting a fever too lmao

    • @ia490
      @ia490 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      That's an episode for Unsolved Supernatural 😂

    • @lethalleithan8523
      @lethalleithan8523 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ai big fax lol

    • @gretablackwell495
      @gretablackwell495 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      **demon Shane theorists screaming in the distance**

    • @itzame_ari
      @itzame_ari 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Khadijah I had a friend that, 3 times, had to leave the church because he would get sick, throw up and pass out during mass.

  • @lyb927
    @lyb927 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5757

    “DETECTIVE! We found a pool of the killers blood in the hallway!”
    “Hmmm... gross! Mop it up!”

    • @alicelortie9684
      @alicelortie9684 4 ปีที่แล้ว +124

      J Biggs JOHN MULANEY😍❤️

    • @LonelyMarshtomp
      @LonelyMarshtomp 4 ปีที่แล้ว +278

      Now... back to my hunch...

    • @avapauli2219
      @avapauli2219 3 ปีที่แล้ว +145

      I know, we’ll draw chalk around the body... that way we’ll know where it was...

    • @TheFagerlund
      @TheFagerlund 3 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      *Ok lets wrap this up were done here bois another day of hard police work*

    • @NoorAlam-tj4mn
      @NoorAlam-tj4mn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      @@TheFagerlund lez go get ourselves some well earned doughnuts, lads, we’ve done enough for today

  • @sweetestgirlonline
    @sweetestgirlonline 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1099

    athalia: **gets murdered**
    francis: too bad but i’m built different

    • @jana5728
      @jana5728 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      she's not like other girls

  • @guymanmanguy1601
    @guymanmanguy1601 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3635

    Old lady: I walk outside in the dark every day! It's safe! You won't get killed!
    Machete killer: I'm about to end this woman's whole career

    • @over-simplifiedelectronics25
      @over-simplifiedelectronics25 5 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      GuyMan ManGuy *whole woman’s life

    • @ryanharrington6389
      @ryanharrington6389 5 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      Her walking career?

    • @k.barrow6069
      @k.barrow6069 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      GuyMan ManGuy wtf!!!! 😂🤣😂🤣💯

    • @jhy1473
      @jhy1473 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Over-simplified Electronics wrong

    • @kingpanda6585
      @kingpanda6585 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      End her career.... In about 9 months after, maybe. Lol.

  • @yeahokaysurethatsalright
    @yeahokaysurethatsalright 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4580

    Next episode: The Suspicious Death and Disappearance of Shane's Parrot

    • @cassiess
      @cassiess 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Brock Obama YES

    • @Boy-fv6rm
      @Boy-fv6rm 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I had the same idea

    • @drmantistobboggangonzodr3961
      @drmantistobboggangonzodr3961 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      For huge unsolved fans, a bit of trivia.... what was Shane’s parrots name???
      I have no idea. And no prizes, sorry! 😐 Deborah WINGer? Precious McFeathers? #postmortem Shane what was your parrots name? Was it Wheezy?

    • @kenna163
      @kenna163 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@drmantistobboggangonzodr3961 It was Paco.

  • @jacobcox831
    @jacobcox831 5 ปีที่แล้ว +582

    Ryan: Yeah, I’d like some haters!
    Also Ryan: **Starts roasting himself so his haters can’t**

  • @mqzd24
    @mqzd24 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6575

    francis would be that lady who absolutely refuses to wear a mask

    • @CC81444
      @CC81444 4 ปีที่แล้ว +126

      Shes kinda like a Karen lol

    • @winterkeptuswarm
      @winterkeptuswarm 4 ปีที่แล้ว +120

      Really, Athalia does as well!! Maybe the murderer had a type?

    • @xxsohalalmodexx
      @xxsohalalmodexx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I can imagine that lol

    • @abigailmarshall5302
      @abigailmarshall5302 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      OR MAN

    • @SlingOrDie
      @SlingOrDie 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      A true Karen

  • @misterkingdom3571
    @misterkingdom3571 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2303

    "Hey that's my parrot. I think your head doesn't look good on your shoulders anymore."

    • @arianabecenti4115
      @arianabecenti4115 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I read this right as he said it lol😂

  • @aliababwa5153
    @aliababwa5153 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7420

    Just taking my machete on a walk. Hey wait a minute..is that MY BIRD?!

    • @hayhay6254
      @hayhay6254 5 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      Ali Ababwa I’m wheezing

    • @lancerider5979
      @lancerider5979 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      🤣🤣🤣😂😂

    • @Olster-xy5ol
      @Olster-xy5ol 4 ปีที่แล้ว +122

      For some reason I read this in Shane’s voice and it was amazing

    • @sapphirethewolf8596
      @sapphirethewolf8596 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Olster5913 Same lol

    • @dara03
      @dara03 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Hay Hay (wheeze)

  • @EllaIngram
    @EllaIngram 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1547

    Frances: yeahh this place is super safe and I’m gonna PROVE IT!
    Frances: *gets murdered*

  • @CobraFeather
    @CobraFeather 4 ปีที่แล้ว +528

    with the clothes found you could find the shoe size, shirt size, a estimate of the wrist size, and experts could estimate how tall they were, if they were more chubby then a normal human, how big their arm was, and other things that could help a lot during a investigation

    • @lisad359
      @lisad359 3 ปีที่แล้ว +80

      Notes taken, if doing a crime wear the wrong size lol

    • @tunners
      @tunners 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      the clothes would have probably shrunk in the water

    • @lolarose8973
      @lolarose8973 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @@tunners there would most likely still be some way to identify the size, they probably wouldn't shrink beyond recognition

  • @dee3412
    @dee3412 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3709

    Old lady: this is the safest place ... I walk in the dark all the time
    Killer: hold my machete

    • @cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967
      @cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Killer: With your stomach. H e r e y o u g o ! Okay now hold this fire.

    • @Annie-hb8ob
      @Annie-hb8ob 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      or more like "give me my machete" haha

    • @janiemtz
      @janiemtz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Killer: Hold my machete, no wait, give it back I need that

    • @mustafamunir9801
      @mustafamunir9801 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      ME: HOLD MY MACHETE how is he gonna kill them
      My friend: with his fist duh

    • @majcry4188
      @majcry4188 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Killer: Actually no I need it for something.

  • @checkman
    @checkman 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5820

    It's always someone innocently walking their dog, hiking, or jogging who find bodies.

    • @briannadenton3879
      @briannadenton3879 4 ปีที่แล้ว +480

      crystalheckman this is why I don’t do any of the above

    • @choochoopicklepie
      @choochoopicklepie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +359

      crystalheckman this is why I don’t leave the house

    • @chandlerwaddell8364
      @chandlerwaddell8364 4 ปีที่แล้ว +116

      Don't excercise a surefire way to hit the suspect list

    • @oliver4730
      @oliver4730 4 ปีที่แล้ว +194

      @@choochoopicklepie No one's leaving their house now, rn would be the perfect to dump a body if you thing about it

    • @TheIdiotChihuahua
      @TheIdiotChihuahua 4 ปีที่แล้ว +138

      Natalie Johnson don’t give people ideas

  • @malixnant
    @malixnant 5 ปีที่แล้ว +510

    Before I even clicked the video, seeing the name Florida in the title and as a floridian myself, I sighed deeply and said to myself
    ”what is it this time”

    • @destinyMila013
      @destinyMila013 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      iilucydacat ;P we as Floridians have such a bad rep 😪

    • @cylaura
      @cylaura 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      LMFAOO

    • @katroberts7995
      @katroberts7995 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same girl same

    • @FabeyUlous
      @FabeyUlous 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      iilucydacat ;P SAMEEE

    • @caspertheghost8822
      @caspertheghost8822 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      iilucydacat ;P LMAO

  • @alexjourney7705
    @alexjourney7705 3 ปีที่แล้ว +152

    Ryan connecting the dots to Shane being a demon and Shane just keeps incriminating himself, not noticing how sus he sounds. Love it.

  • @motherlizzy4740
    @motherlizzy4740 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3653

    "DETECTIVE! We found the killers blood in that hall!"
    "Hmmm, gross! Mop it up! Back to my hunch!"

    • @blakeblack5647
      @blakeblack5647 5 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      Yeeeeesss I thought about the same thing 😂

    • @laysagna4909
      @laysagna4909 5 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      Should I be upset or happy with myself for knowing where this is from?

    • @elizabethdesruisseau7826
      @elizabethdesruisseau7826 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Laysagna definitely happy 😂

    • @lulava9613
      @lulava9613 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I had the same exact thought through this whole episode

    • @samk5760
      @samk5760 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      YES

  • @b.g.6696
    @b.g.6696 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3232

    When I was 18 our cat died while my mom was overseas on a business trip. She was so distraught she cried on the phone with me for 2 hours. In those two hours she asked us to please wait until she got home in 10 days to bury the cat. It was June. I said, "Mom, she's going to start to smell..."
    And my mom said, through her tears,
    "Can't you just put her in the fridge?"
    So Shane, you are not alone. May your frozen Parrot rest in peace.

    • @yeeyeecowboy8778
      @yeeyeecowboy8778 3 ปีที่แล้ว +155

      frozen catsicle,,,

    • @pepps1943
      @pepps1943 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Weird flex but ok

    • @iaminpainauchocolat9300
      @iaminpainauchocolat9300 3 ปีที่แล้ว +95

      I'm sorry about your cat

    • @alloriavarner8304
      @alloriavarner8304 3 ปีที่แล้ว +94

      Same but with my lizard & it was only for like half a day until I got home from school. RIP Rocky.

    • @b.g.6696
      @b.g.6696 3 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      @@alloriavarner8304 rip rocky :(

  • @natelwood7606
    @natelwood7606 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1921

    hosing down the blood reminds me of a john mulaney bit about crime in the 1930s:
    “detective, we found a pool of the killer’s blood”
    “hmm... gross. mop it up! now back to my hunch”

    • @sadiejones7763
      @sadiejones7763 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      nathalie elwood random, but you are so pretty 🙃

    • @snowybookwyrm
      @snowybookwyrm 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      bro i had the same thought

    • @lilililililililililililililily
      @lilililililililililililililily 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I thought the same thing I just couldn’t remember it was from a mulaney sketch

    • @sadiejones7763
      @sadiejones7763 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Yes because a girl gives another girl a compliment ?? Really

    • @sadiejones7763
      @sadiejones7763 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes how being goofy? And wait what? I didn’t like it lol

  • @LoganWH8
    @LoganWH8 4 ปีที่แล้ว +170

    Defense attorney: “Isn’t it a fact that you were looking for a spot where nobody could see you put that stuff in the swamp?”
    Dewey Lee: No. No it isn’t. What kind of question is that?

  • @Lollemaster
    @Lollemaster 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1681

    *Innocent woman gets butchered*
    - Oh no
    *Clementine flies away*
    - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @heavengarcia7112
      @heavengarcia7112 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Clementine was probably like ab god damn time someone did it

    • @AikiraBeats
      @AikiraBeats 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Right not clementine

  • @bun872
    @bun872 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2632

    so what i’ve learned from BFU is that everyone in florida has a machete and everyone in New Orleans has an axe

    • @taylorlandry4333
      @taylorlandry4333 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      I'm from Louisiana, its more like everyone in New Orleans has a gun lol

    • @karinay6774
      @karinay6774 5 ปีที่แล้ว +74

      As a Floridian i can confirm we all have machetes

    • @MedinafamilyVlogs
      @MedinafamilyVlogs 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I disagree with this statement. I am from Florida and no one in my family nor my fiancé’s family owns a machete. Not sure about the New Orleans thing though.

    • @bananaboat5031
      @bananaboat5031 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@taylorlandry4333 back then

    • @loretta5653
      @loretta5653 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I have an axe but no machete. I am from New Jersey.

  • @12345sincara
    @12345sincara 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20632

    How about a solved series and shane attempts to guess which theories were correct.

    • @tehribbons1192
      @tehribbons1192 5 ปีที่แล้ว +280

      :o Yes!

    • @deannabowden9324
      @deannabowden9324 5 ปีที่แล้ว +310

      This would be awesome!!

    • @blackswanvante
      @blackswanvante 5 ปีที่แล้ว +160

      There are no “correct” theories because they are...just theories..

    • @jasmineshaw7483
      @jasmineshaw7483 5 ปีที่แล้ว +693

      Øh Ms. Believer there would be a correct theory in solved cases tho because they have been solved lol

    • @Midnightisnttryingyt
      @Midnightisnttryingyt 5 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      That would be so fun to watch

  • @gemlee5007
    @gemlee5007 4 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    I like how Shane's nose bled when he crossed the church's threshold, it just confirms that he's the final boss and the reason why ghosts won't appear with the both of them in the same room

  • @abigailwilliamson4688
    @abigailwilliamson4688 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4173

    “the lady that exploded in her living room”
    “i LOVED that lady”
    edit: i had no idea anyone saw this for ages lmao but the episode this is from is ‘the spontaneous human combustion of mary resser’

    • @katialowtas3680
      @katialowtas3680 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I can't remember, which episode was this?

    • @booplesnootbunny
      @booplesnootbunny 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@katialowtas3680 the spontaneous combustion I think

    • @raesalwayssober9078
      @raesalwayssober9078 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I read this comment the exact same time they said it lol

    • @Millie-fs5ew
      @Millie-fs5ew 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😂😂😂

    • @charlotte822
      @charlotte822 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Katia Lowtas The Spontaneous Human Combustion Of Mary Reeser 💗

  • @snorsaxattacks
    @snorsaxattacks 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8390

    Nosebleed starting immediately upon entering holy ground.
    Shane = Demon. Confirmed.

    • @zero_s
      @zero_s 4 ปีที่แล้ว +303

      At that moment he knew, Shane at 9 years old knew, he have demon blood in him

    • @awooga2846
      @awooga2846 4 ปีที่แล้ว +335

      That’s why he denies the existence of demons and isn’t scared by ghosts because he knows he’s the true demon and trying to throw people off the scent

    • @craftylad2872
      @craftylad2872 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      That happened to my sister

    • @taeaortkc9885
      @taeaortkc9885 4 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      16:48 Ryan posits; Shane confirms.

    • @appleuwumer
      @appleuwumer 4 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      AS SOON AS I HEARD HIM SAY THAT I checked the comments LMAOOOOO I knew someone noticed it too😂

  • @galadrielpokracki8153
    @galadrielpokracki8153 5 ปีที่แล้ว +268

    Cops in Reykjavik: Put em in solitary confinement.
    Cops in Florida: HOSE DOWN THE EVIDENCE

  • @minutedetails7696
    @minutedetails7696 3 ปีที่แล้ว +185

    When Shane told Ryan about his nosebleed story, Ryan in his head be like “that’s a demon there”

  • @jessiemay285
    @jessiemay285 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4365

    #roastmortem killers should really consider not killing in February, Ryan is struggling

    • @jad_23
      @jad_23 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      😂😂

    • @AKayfabe
      @AKayfabe 5 ปีที่แล้ว +97

      Right! Everyone who murders please do so in June. It’s easy to pronounce

    • @hwafans
      @hwafans 5 ปีที่แล้ว +82

      if this comment isn't a part of the roastmortem part of next weeks post mortem what's the point

    • @jad_23
      @jad_23 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@hwafans ikr😂

    • @oneslikeme
      @oneslikeme 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      This is one of the best roasts I've seen.

  • @brenna_boop6341
    @brenna_boop6341 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2281

    I love how Shane took like a whole minute to explain his idea of someone studying their victim, and posing as someone else for the crime. Sir, did you mean *framing someone* ?

    • @HYLOBRO
      @HYLOBRO 3 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      Well to be fair it is more complex than that. Framing somebody doesn’t involve purposefully being seen in a disguise that resembles the framed party. Framing someone is what that is, but his idea was to really go the extra mile with it.

  • @ridinhard1977
    @ridinhard1977 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1859

    Of all the crimes, ghosts, and mysteries, nothing has made me go what like “went out to walk her blue jay”

    • @Gabriellaella23
      @Gabriellaella23 4 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      Same 🤦🏽‍♀️ Like, was it on a leash? Or was it just sitting on her shoulder? maybe it's a good thing that the bird got away and could live free. 🤷🏽‍♀️

    • @Pooedepizze
      @Pooedepizze 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I was confused on the ax man killer I mean like who takes 5 hits to not kill someone like it should take at most 1 for a kill, like was it a five year old that did that

    • @frostythehoeman6969
      @frostythehoeman6969 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Like who tf keeps a bluejay as a pet???!!!

    • @Zecheerio
      @Zecheerio 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Just spent like 50 hours trying to figure out how TF you walk a bird??????

    • @elfinshell4758
      @elfinshell4758 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Tbh I’ve ‘walked’ my birds before. At one point I had a crow, a duck, and a parrot with me outside free flying. It was an amazing experience. (I did some wildlife rescue, mostly birds - for context)

  • @solflorspaceman
    @solflorspaceman 4 ปีที่แล้ว +376

    “SIR WE FOUND A POOL OF THE VICTIM’S BLOOD IN THE YARD”
    “HM GROSS! MOP IT UP. NOW BACK TO MY HUNCH”

    • @winsuma8253
      @winsuma8253 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      I know! We'll draw chalk around the body. That way we'll know where it was.

    • @chrissparks7439
      @chrissparks7439 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@winsuma8253 "Ew no, that's gross"

    • @professorbaxtercarelessdre1075
      @professorbaxtercarelessdre1075 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@chrissparks7439 then that same cop probably proceeded to burp and fart constantly and just be generally gross

    • @natalierivera8421
      @natalierivera8421 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wait what is this from? It sounds familiar but I can’t remember where I heard it 😩

    • @solflorspaceman
      @solflorspaceman ปีที่แล้ว

      @@natalierivera8421 John Mulaney!

  • @route77productions
    @route77productions 5 ปีที่แล้ว +599

    They should've gotten the Police from the Reykjavik case to solve this case. #JusticeForClementineTheBlueJay

    • @CharlieKling7
      @CharlieKling7 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Route 77 Productions They would just put their leads in solitary confinement for 2 years.

    • @NotPassive-356
      @NotPassive-356 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      yelena bugriyev exactly

  • @squigglykinkle805
    @squigglykinkle805 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5914

    When I lived in Florida someone tried to break into my landlady’s apartment, so she chased him down the street with a machete

    • @lovestay871
      @lovestay871 4 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      Squiggly Kinkle that’s....terrifying!😨

    • @lovestay871
      @lovestay871 4 ปีที่แล้ว +76

      Wouldn’t wanna be that person

    • @amewolff3722
      @amewolff3722 4 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      I still live in Florida. Lol

    • @sweetestaphrodite
      @sweetestaphrodite 4 ปีที่แล้ว +280

      honestly, I want to reach that level of badass.

    • @anicoleww
      @anicoleww 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      nora 노라 yess

  • @teogrunhut8764
    @teogrunhut8764 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4512

    _Walking your bird in Florida is so unusual_
    *continues to walk down the street with an aligator*

    • @fishsauce617
      @fishsauce617 5 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      *_Florida Man_*

    • @noellefritz5678
      @noellefritz5678 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      1000 subscribers without a single video challenge somebody walked a rattle snake in my town once. On a leash. I live in Iowa, it not supposed to be a crazy state but

    • @teogrunhut8764
      @teogrunhut8764 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@noellefritz5678 🤣🤣🤣🤔🤔

    • @mrprimor227
      @mrprimor227 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@noellefritz5678 try walking 2 horny alligators then you'll understand what crazy is.

    • @iitzdev7481
      @iitzdev7481 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      No no I’ve seen a guy walking a duck🤦‍♂️

  • @contentcop
    @contentcop 4 ปีที่แล้ว +85

    "On our ongoing investigation into why Florida is the way it is" actually made me laugh so hard I couldn't breath 🤣🤣

  • @DancingCacti
    @DancingCacti 5 ปีที่แล้ว +261

    This makes me think of John Mulaney... "Chief, there's a pool of the killer's blood in the hallway!"
    "Hmm, gross! Get rid of it!"

    • @noelburton4143
      @noelburton4143 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      DancingCacti I love that joke so much!!

  • @harrysb3002
    @harrysb3002 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4226

    can’t sell your house as a real estate agent?
    All Hail The Watcher

    • @clarissarojas7959
      @clarissarojas7959 4 ปีที่แล้ว +271

      Your neighbor won’t let you have any of his limes?
      All hail The Watcher

    • @Voidway20
      @Voidway20 4 ปีที่แล้ว +193

      Nose bleed when you enter a church?
      All hail The Watcher

    • @rylliewyllie
      @rylliewyllie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +171

      Get murdered with a machete?
      All Hail The Watcher

    • @hadiyapinky9091
      @hadiyapinky9091 4 ปีที่แล้ว +146

      Your murder case is still unsolved?
      All hail the watcher

    • @riatortilla9906
      @riatortilla9906 4 ปีที่แล้ว +91

      you have no clue why your even reading these replies where people are just repeating “all hail the watcher”?
      *all hail the watcher*

  • @zachlyons4952
    @zachlyons4952 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1571

    "Lets get this evidence outa here... now I can think clearly" 😂😂😂

    • @deseuryderia
      @deseuryderia 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      as John Mulaney says "if you aren't there when the cops arrive, you'd get away with it."

    • @rachelatkinson6734
      @rachelatkinson6734 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      He also said “There is blood from the murder, in the hallway?... Gross, mop it up. Now onto my theory. Oh I know let’s draw chalk around the body so that way we know where it was.”

    • @viviann2237
      @viviann2237 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@xXRemi_RandomXx ex ee of e you

  • @fourleafclover8519
    @fourleafclover8519 4 ปีที่แล้ว +249

    * watches a show called unsolved *
    * gets mad when they don’t solve it *

    • @ImCastielsBitch01
      @ImCastielsBitch01 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      frrr 😭✋🏽

    • @ImCastielsBitch01
      @ImCastielsBitch01 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I like how, since the years have passed, some *did* get solved tho

  • @Kate-eo8vh
    @Kate-eo8vh 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1504

    it was clearly Clementine. she wanted to fly, not walk.

  • @justafoolonline2737
    @justafoolonline2737 4 ปีที่แล้ว +504

    "Hey, thats my bird. I dont think your head looks good on your shoulders anymore."
    -Ryan

    • @zoulekahfordham7400
      @zoulekahfordham7400 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I'm using that in an argument now lmao
      'Well- well- well your head doesn't look good on your shoulders anymore!'
      *silence*
      xD

  • @lillyalexa6560
    @lillyalexa6560 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3775

    „I don‘t have any clothes covered in blood“
    Laughs in female

    • @awal4896
      @awal4896 5 ปีที่แล้ว +100

      I laughed way harder than I should have at this!!

    • @lindanicolausson6148
      @lindanicolausson6148 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@awal4896 I dont get it? Explain plz?

    • @awal4896
      @awal4896 5 ปีที่แล้ว +100

      Linda Nicolausson because of period blood

    • @dancinggouine9909
      @dancinggouine9909 5 ปีที่แล้ว +146

      right? i have so many blood stained clothes, my wardrobe definitely looks like I kill people.
      Like I kill people wearing only underwear, but still.

    • @thegrayyernaut
      @thegrayyernaut 5 ปีที่แล้ว +154

      @@dancinggouine9909 "The Florida Panties Killer is Still At Large"

  • @anikalra1427
    @anikalra1427 4 ปีที่แล้ว +116

    Francis: I'm simply built different
    Killer: I'm about to end this woman's whole life

  • @hennaafreen3309
    @hennaafreen3309 5 ปีที่แล้ว +594

    Ryan : Only if i have some facts behind it big boy
    Also Ryan : Underwater Area 51

    • @linp2871
      @linp2871 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      #roastmortem

    • @livmckibbin
      @livmckibbin 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      lmaoooooooo #roastmortem

  • @gabrielledd208
    @gabrielledd208 5 ปีที่แล้ว +599

    "WE FOUND A POOL OF THE KILLER'S BLOOD IN THE BEDROOM"
    "hmmm... gross! mop it up. now.... back to my hunch"

  • @micaelalerouxburch6947
    @micaelalerouxburch6947 5 ปีที่แล้ว +742

    "Florida man kills pet bird, then decapitates the owner for good measure" #postmortem #foodforthought

  • @lemonarsenic6063
    @lemonarsenic6063 3 ปีที่แล้ว +147

    "Only if I have some facts behind them,"
    Ryan, didn't you introduce the idea of alien abduction in the Gloria Ramirez case?

  • @maevefitzgerald3084
    @maevefitzgerald3084 5 ปีที่แล้ว +292

    Police officer: Hey, there's a pool of the killers blood out here.
    Detective: Hmm...gross! Clean that up.

    • @ajarofleeches
      @ajarofleeches 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Is that a John Mulaney reference I see

    • @maevefitzgerald3084
      @maevefitzgerald3084 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@ajarofleeches Now then, back to my hunch...

    • @probablypossessed2075
      @probablypossessed2075 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      UNDER
      RATED
      COMMENT

    • @ThePokeNote
      @ThePokeNote 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Just what i was thinking TBH

    • @samanthavialpando4050
      @samanthavialpando4050 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      We'll draw chalk around where the body is that way we'll know where it was

  • @samthehypotheticaldad
    @samthehypotheticaldad 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2666

    Victim: *Was nearly beheaded*
    Me: NEARLY headless? How can you be NEARLY headless?

    • @crateredcallisto2854
      @crateredcallisto2854 5 ปีที่แล้ว +583

      Nearly Headless Nick: *I'm about to end this whole man's career*

    • @sophie29456
      @sophie29456 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Snack discovery squad 🐍🦎🦜

    • @SMILESZ2
      @SMILESZ2 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      I see what you did there....

    • @5ft4inprotagonist24
      @5ft4inprotagonist24 5 ปีที่แล้ว +89

      is this...a Harry Potter reference?

    • @reematiq
      @reematiq 5 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Potterheads 😁

  • @gabbybyrd6749
    @gabbybyrd6749 5 ปีที่แล้ว +406

    There was a sufficient amount of wheezing in this episode. I approve.

  • @bryant7542
    @bryant7542 4 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    Trail of blood leading to his house, hates the neighbor, his shirt and watch are found with the murder weapon.
    Witness: "Mr. Standford's beating ___"
    What more do you need? I guess nobody did it huh. Amazing.

  • @berniecleene2720
    @berniecleene2720 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2000

    Why did the music make it looked like the bird was the main loss

    • @lovestay871
      @lovestay871 4 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      Bernie Cleene the poor bird tho

    • @destinyfarmer3581
      @destinyfarmer3581 4 ปีที่แล้ว +201

      Because the bird was the main loss

    • @Subllama
      @Subllama 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Bernie Cleene because it was :( jk rest in peace Athalia

    • @blitzvalentine363
      @blitzvalentine363 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Because it was. Poor bird

    • @salenebrom6476
      @salenebrom6476 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Cat and Kitty 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @kaxybaxy4147
    @kaxybaxy4147 5 ปีที่แล้ว +481

    “hey detective we found a pool of blood on the grass”
    “hmmmm… gross. mop it up. now then, back to my hunch.”

    • @AikiraBeats
      @AikiraBeats 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      So true

    • @sofiadeleonardo2629
      @sofiadeleonardo2629 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Omg someone else thought of John Mulaney too!!

    • @numerousfrogsinacoat607
      @numerousfrogsinacoat607 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      John Mulaney yeeesssss

    • @luciadoyle2552
      @luciadoyle2552 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      “Let’s draw an outline of chalk around where the body is...that way... we’ll know where it was...”

    • @erinmatejka4628
      @erinmatejka4628 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I’m your 200th like

  • @frazer7238
    @frazer7238 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1265

    creepy music starts
    shE planTeD bamBoO

    • @Mara-yf1se
      @Mara-yf1se 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      The bamboo is the murder...
      Mystery solved!

    • @vampirepossum8544
      @vampirepossum8544 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I hate the fact that made me chuckle

  • @DismemberedHat
    @DismemberedHat 3 ปีที่แล้ว +344

    The fact he was found to be innocent, not just "not guilty" is INCREDIBLY TELLING and tells me there's something missing here. To get a verdict of "innocent", it means you have to have evidence that you did not commit the murder. Period. Not just "there's not enough evidence that he did it" but actual evidence to prove that you did not commit this crime. Like if you had a completely rock solid alibi like you were in another country at the time of the murder. "Innocent" requires evidence that you didn't do it, not just a lack of evidence that you did

    • @gaaraxnaru
      @gaaraxnaru 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      I think Ryan just misspoke here. I don't think you can be found innocent in a US court, just not guilty. Or a mistrial. You can also have a guilty verdict thrown out.

    • @emilybarclay8831
      @emilybarclay8831 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@gaaraxnaru technically according to most justice systems you’re innocent until proven guilty, meaning anyone not found guilty is, in the law’s eyes, innocent

    • @gaaraxnaru
      @gaaraxnaru 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      @@emilybarclay8831 Technically, no. Most lawyers will tell you that there is a difference between being found "not guilty" and being "innocent". There's a reason why the term "innocent" isn't used in court sentebcing/verdicts. Outside of exonerations, I believe.

    • @Nonameforyoudangit
      @Nonameforyoudangit 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@gaaraxnaru Exactly - a good way to think about it is: innocent until found guilty or not guilty.

    • @gaaraxnaru
      @gaaraxnaru 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Nonameforyoudangit Exactly.

  • @Aro_dynamic46
    @Aro_dynamic46 5 ปีที่แล้ว +516

    If the murderer IS someone else entirely, I just imagine them watching this unfold and chuckling to themselves “You clueless idiots” like some cliche movie villain
    #postmortem

  • @jasmine-ob1io
    @jasmine-ob1io 5 ปีที่แล้ว +908

    i still really wish they did a series for solved murders.... i wanna finally not be confused for once

    • @popcornplease8359
      @popcornplease8359 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      It wouldn't be called Buzzfeed Unsolved or The Unsolved Network if they covered solved cases.

    • @zoieuwu33
      @zoieuwu33 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      watch other true crime channels, i really like Eleanor Neale!

    • @KennyMcCormick99
      @KennyMcCormick99 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Then I doubt that channel would have ever got this big & popular...

    • @alterego6719
      @alterego6719 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Damien X Check true crime channels if you think solved mysteries aren’t successful on yt

    • @Elijah505
      @Elijah505 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      jasmine ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ ʕʘ‿ʘʔ
      (ᵔᴥᵔ)

  • @caldature1217
    @caldature1217 5 ปีที่แล้ว +309

    Ryan : I bet you would murder me if I pushed you enough
    Shane, instantly : yeah probably

    • @Herebutnotreally
      @Herebutnotreally 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He's probably referring to the parrot eating jabs 😂😂

    • @chelseacox6080
      @chelseacox6080 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Caldature to be honest I feel like Ryan could make a nun wanna commit murder!
      Shane handles it very well. I love them both!

  • @koetheh0363
    @koetheh0363 3 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    Frances be like: "Athalia died? Oh, RIP! Anyways, it's literally so safe here.."
    *ends up getting murdered the same way*

  • @dkskaobd6320
    @dkskaobd6320 5 ปีที่แล้ว +709

    is it really friendship if you don't talk about murdering each other?

  • @freestee4002
    @freestee4002 5 ปีที่แล้ว +627

    Please do the Crazy Brabant Killers. They’ve killed 28 people randomly at supermarkets and the case was never cleared. There are crazy theories surrounding this case

    • @AikiraBeats
      @AikiraBeats 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yass they really should

    • @ricksanchez1149
      @ricksanchez1149 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@AikiraBeats Never heard of this incident, where did it happen and what went down? It's certainly an interesting name for some murders.

  • @biblicallyaccuratesandwich
    @biblicallyaccuratesandwich 3 ปีที่แล้ว +234

    Shane is 100% a demon, nosebleed in church? No way he’s not.

  • @runa1248
    @runa1248 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3551

    "Shane had no bloody clothing"
    Women everywhere: *have so many clothes that have been ruined by blood*

    • @imjustlucy_29
      @imjustlucy_29 4 ปีที่แล้ว +182

      Well... a specific clothing that have been ruined by blood.

    • @IceKreacher
      @IceKreacher 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      I have so many clothes ruined by blood because of my pets. But I don't mind because I love them.

    • @sweetestaphrodite
      @sweetestaphrodite 4 ปีที่แล้ว +150

      *@Metalhead 1966*
      ...what?

    • @Ghostbuster07
      @Ghostbuster07 4 ปีที่แล้ว +67

      Metalhead 1966 um that’s not-..

    • @AerCloud
      @AerCloud 4 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      @@IceKreacher excuse me? What?

  • @Edgea22
    @Edgea22 4 ปีที่แล้ว +776

    Possible theory: a grown up Razor Boy retired to Florida, noticed that people left machetes out, and feeling nostalgic for his youth with his mentor decided to go on a spree. When he realized he wasn't able to maintain the stamina stopped at two.

    • @milliejay1451
      @milliejay1451 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I support this theory

    • @sethescope
      @sethescope 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      this is the only good theory. I'm adopting this as my headcanon until proven otherwise

    • @hannahjewell7079
      @hannahjewell7079 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      the return of razorboy

  • @mariamischief4052
    @mariamischief4052 5 ปีที่แล้ว +366

    These crimes need to stop happening in February for poor Ryan's sake.

    • @aliexiety
      @aliexiety 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I don't even notice anymore when he says it

    • @mariamischief4052
      @mariamischief4052 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@aliexiety I sometimes read it in his voice now lol

  • @WeGoblinFolk
    @WeGoblinFolk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    A "sharp-tongued, aggressive woman" whose name means "wholesome or healing." I'm not going to say her parents jinxed her, but her parents totally jinxed her.

    • @RieJWyatt
      @RieJWyatt 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      To quote Ryan from a later episode:
      “I’m sure he didn’t say ‘I told you so’…but he DID bloody well tell them so.”

  • @darrenabbott6264
    @darrenabbott6264 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3599

    You're bird goes missing ?? ALL HAIL THE WATCHER

    • @JustPopCulture
      @JustPopCulture 5 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      communist onion your*

    • @darrenabbott6264
      @darrenabbott6264 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@JustPopCulture stop

    • @dannie5364
      @dannie5364 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Omg yesss

    • @qqq1q1qqqqqqq
      @qqq1q1qqqqqqq 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

    • @Dustydoo69
      @Dustydoo69 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      communist onion All hail the watcher 😂

  • @Someloser3232
    @Someloser3232 5 ปีที่แล้ว +581

    16:57
    It's at this moment that Ryan starts to think those "Shane is a demon" theories are starting to look pretty plausible

    • @LXW-Arts
      @LXW-Arts 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I heard that in Ryan's theory voice

    • @salenebrom6476
      @salenebrom6476 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      LXW arts 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @ThetubeguyNo1
    @ThetubeguyNo1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +374

    They should've talked a bit more about Frances' murder as well. Any connections made between the two murders could've cut down the suspects list.

    • @AKayfabe
      @AKayfabe 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Right! Just because the two were killed with different weapons or methods doesn’t mean the same person did not do it.

    • @Kick0a0cat
      @Kick0a0cat 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Also, Frances could have been involved in the murder or someone thought she was and therefore she was killed

  • @renip8605
    @renip8605 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    They absolutely caught me with the husband theory. I thought "Wow, really convenient that this guy happens to have a machete in his car"... And then everyone has one. Welcome to Florida! 😅

  • @rachelmurray3434
    @rachelmurray3434 5 ปีที่แล้ว +779

    16:50 Shane, we've suspected you of being a demon for a long time but you really ought to stop outing yourself like that so plainly, it lacks tact and you're really just making yourself come across as quite the lower class hell spawn. #roastmortem

    • @jordymintz6443
      @jordymintz6443 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      The parrot was his demonic familiar

    • @Rainears129
      @Rainears129 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Ryan agrees.

    • @Wolf1979
      @Wolf1979 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      😈😈😈

  • @orionrae3994
    @orionrae3994 5 ปีที่แล้ว +336

    "did you ever think about killing your neighbor?"
    "yeah when he didnt give me limes!"
    go off ryan

    • @bexo7406
      @bexo7406 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Cheyenne Rae “yea he was one cup short when i asked for sugar”

    • @suzanneh975
      @suzanneh975 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yeah Ryan can't say I blame you there. It's over your property line, you're entitled to those damn limes!

  • @spaghettiappletaterghost1009
    @spaghettiappletaterghost1009 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1780

    The woman: **is murdered**
    Me: **sad about the blue jay**

    • @emilycosgrove6906
      @emilycosgrove6906 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      I'm marathoning old BuzzFeed unsolved videos...And I live in St Augustine so when I got to this episode I remembered back to the last time I saw blue Jay which is probably like 8 months ago and I was like the blue jay lives and then I remember the lifespan of a blue jay is not 40 years and I got very sad 😢😂

    • @topangaleija
      @topangaleija 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Same. And assuming the blue jay just flew away and was not taken by the murderer, it likely died quickly from having not been taught to survive in the wild. Unless it was originally caught as an adult in the wild, in which case yay freedom

    • @frostythehoeman6969
      @frostythehoeman6969 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Hopefully the bluejay flew away bc ppl shouldn't keep those as pets

    • @Moo-2310
      @Moo-2310 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      If it was born in captivity, it probably died pretty quick. If it did originally live in the wild it probably flew off.

    • @jennaleelove680
      @jennaleelove680 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@frostythehoeman6969 She found it crippled and decided to take care of it.

  • @Emmad172
    @Emmad172 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    “A pool of blood?? Gross! Mop it up.” Big John Mulaney vibes

  • @noahcolegio7124
    @noahcolegio7124 5 ปีที่แล้ว +755

    Next season of buzzfeed unsolved supernatural "the Exorcism of Shane Madej"

    • @cindyh.6011
      @cindyh.6011 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      And the Bizarre Possession of Ryan Bergara

    • @bucca2
      @bucca2 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Noah Colegio The gears were turning in Ryan’s head at that whole nosebleed in a church business, you could tell

  • @cowmeowcatmoo2562
    @cowmeowcatmoo2562 5 ปีที่แล้ว +639

    Shane and Ryan:” I want haters.”
    Me:- clearly lying- “I strongly dislike y’all.”

    • @Blitzo2876
      @Blitzo2876 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      New England Patriots have lots of haters. 6 rings and counting. Go Patriots!

  • @rangikuraperawiti6409
    @rangikuraperawiti6409 5 ปีที่แล้ว +512

    The reason on why they uploaded late will remain..... UNSOLVED!!!!

    • @arizmack6341
      @arizmack6341 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I think it’s like 6 pm for them, so it’s not tHaT late

    • @adams_writings5995
      @adams_writings5995 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Theres only one logical answer. ITS THE WATCHER BABY.

    • @theulimategame5555
      @theulimategame5555 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      •{Arizmack}• its actually 9:35

    • @haleymarie16
      @haleymarie16 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      theulimategame555 it’s 6:35 pm in California 😉

    • @chancho7486
      @chancho7486 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@haleymarie16 6:48 in arizona

  • @bekind3340
    @bekind3340 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I like the idea that in between takes, Ryan asked Shane about the parrot bit and if it was too far and Shane went “no no it was really great” but as soon as they started shooting again he regained that murderous look in his eyes