Bad Movie Beatdown: 10,000 B.C. (REVIEW)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 มิ.ย. 2016
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=Originally posted November 19th, 2010; Re-edited version=
So dumb you’d think it was made by cavemen… Season 2, Episode 32. - ภาพยนตร์และแอนิเมชัน
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Another thing that really bothers me about this movie is the way they show mammoths galloping. Elephants and mammoths are constantly positioned on their toes. They don't gallop. They can only manage a fast shuffle. God dammit animators use some freaking references!!!
AnnoyingSquib That is very educational, and exactly why TH-cam comments are a Good Thing.
the toes isn't what matters since the horse also moves on its toes. it has to do with the sheer size/weight. a gallop is gait that takes all four legs off the ground at the same time, they are just too heavy for that nonsense.
Danny Cam Cthulhu and Co. - or some of that lot, anyway - are described as having hooves.
Ah, I remember this...it was one of my favorite reviews. Seriously, the part about this movie's insane geography cracks me up every time.
It still failed.
@subhkaran singh By the time this movie takes place Gondwana was long gone. Continents move at about the same speed your fingernails grow. 12,000 years ago their arrangement was essentially identical to what it is now.
The geography could actually be explained by changes in elevation. If D'leh's people live on a high plateau, they could go from an arctic climate to a tropical jungle just by descending a few thousand feet. Mount Kilimanjaro sits on a tropical savannah right on the equator, but its peak is icy cold and basically lifeless.
If they had just set this in a fantasy world or a planet that is like earth but isn't. That could fix a lot of the problems. It's kind of insulting that it's such an easy fix.
That would at least explain the inaccurate terror bird that was clearly suck in there because there was no plausible way they could use Velociraptor.
@Dancing Deity It is called 10,000 B.C. as in taking place 10,000 years ago in OUR past.... idiot.
@@wiseguy01 10'000 BC was actually 12'000 years ago just to let you know
This review is supposed to be intellectually smug lol...downvoted. The whole premise of this move (though badly implemented ,,) was based on many geological findings that the Sphinx and many Egyptian pyramids were built before 2700 BC.... Chk joe rogan podcast. Dont be moron like this guy.
Sphinx was built before 2700 BC
th-cam.com/video/zSjnvlDWwrE/w-d-xo.html
the one thing they seemed to get right, is that terror birds and saber tooth were around at the same times, in fact I read that the saber tooth's rise cause the eventual demise of the birds status as top predator. That's from a five second Google search by the way something that the filmmakers clearly didn't do
Terror Birds didn't live anywhere near Egypt though. They only existed in the New World and only got as far north as Texas/Louisiana. They also went extinct before humans got there.
@@999apeman , year old reply ik but Terror Birds actually got as far as Florida
Yeah but the last Terror Birds went extinct in Florida... about 7 thousand years before the movie takes place.
@@999apeman There is evidence that they existed in Africa and Europe as well (which wouldn't be that surprising, considering South America and Africa used to be united as a single continent called Gondwana), so it's not inconceivable they could have existed in Egypt. However, they went extinct nearly 2 million years ago, long before modern humans evolved.
Funny thing, The Flintstones was probably more historically accurate!
Don't you mean... prehistorically accurate?
I'll see myself out.
Genndy Tartakovsky's Primal too.
Or turok!
That says a lot
And that franchise isn't even realism focused (Which makes the existence of those live action films infuriating)
After seeing Nick Hodges's History Buffs review on Apocalypto, I thought to myself: "Hmm, what could possibly top conquistadors landing in Mesoamerica 600 years early?" then I remembered Matthew Buck's Bad Movie Beatdown review on 10,000 BC and then thought: "Oh, I know. Egyptian Pyramids built 7,300 years early! He'll have a field day on that one."
I didn't know you were A fan of film Brain as well as nostalgia critic
Some good old Bad Movie Beatdown.
Kind of a shame you don't do these as much anymore but never the less it's good to see the old classics uploaded again.
oh look, Sheena Fujibayashi strikes again xD
Woodenfan
Indeed.
One of Roland's worst movies.
Clearly this takes place on the Genesis Planet from The Search for Spock. They had different climates in walking distance from each other.
The geography could actually be explained by changes in elevation. If D'leh's people live on a high plateau, they could go from an arctic climate to a tropical jungle just by descending a few thousand feet. Mount Kilimanjaro sits on a tropical savannah right on the equator, but its peak is icy cold and basically lifeless.
It's a sad day when freaking Ice Age is a more accurate representation of that time then the live action movie. At least the human characters in that didn't speak English.
Just because they speak English doesn't mean they are speaking it it's just for us it doesn't mean it's cannon
It's a shame that the sequels pretty much scrapped any historical accuracy it might've had.
There's also Alpha which came out a decade later in 2018 and this came out in 2008 and both take place in the Ice Age. Ironic.
The people in this movie only speak English because Americans hate reading subtitles. English didn't exist 12,000 years ago.
my god- we need a firetruck for that burn-
screenwriter: a movie about prehistoric humans, so let's do a research... a history book published in 1867... great!
director reading a script: now that's a science! they never taugh me stuff like that in catholic school...
Film brain there's a very simple explanation for all the anachronisms. This is a game of civilization. Also wow this movie is racist.
Or it's set in the universe created in that one episode of doctor who, where time doesn't exist and everything happens at the same time
Or maybe, this is a game of Age of Kings and the bad guys are plaiyng as the Malay, whose civilization bonus means they can advance through the ages WAAAAAY faster then normal.
Hmmm, i have to play Civilizations again.
James Mason That make sense. I think 10,000 B.C. is some sort of video game based movie of the ever popular Civilization series, or a prequel to Civilization.
Nah! I'm not really serious about it. 😁
Civilization? This thing is Far Cry: Primal: the movie
This is a rare episode where a movie makes you Rage quit.
That smilodon has no business being there since it was native to the Americas. Same with those terror birds.
The terror birds also had HANDS on their wings, making it even more obvious they just wanted to stick Velociraptors in the movie.
Same with the corn and the chilis. I wonder if the film makers did any research for this movie.
Christ, there's so many anachronisms, I keep expecting the cast of Blazing Saddles to bust through one of the walls.
Why do prehistory films get such a bad track record? For real, the only way it seems that you can get a half decent film about prehistoric life is by cloning dinosaurs (repeatedly, even after it was proven the first time that it was a bad idea). Seriously, last time I saw a decent prehistory film was Alpha and even that was just okay.
Well, there is one explanation for the wrong geography and the anachronisms.
ALIENS!
The geography could actually be explained by changes in elevation. If D'leh's people live on a high plateau, they could go from an arctic climate to a tropical jungle just by descending a few thousand feet. Mount Kilimanjaro sits on a tropical savannah right on the equator, but its peak is icy cold and basically lifeless.
Not only did the spear disappear, it ended up back in the thrower's hand. He's a Jedi, apparently, which could also explain the odd climate/geography.
8:30 They’re not Dodo Birds; they’re called Terror Birds in which I can’t identify the species. Dodo birds are docile flightless birds, and Terror Birds are carnivorous flightless birds in which they’re supposed to be extinct somewhere before 10,000 years ago. I’m not an expert on Cenozoic Animals, but I mostly an expert on animals from the Paleozoic and Mesozoic.
Terror birds went extinct nearly 2 million years ago, long before modern humans evolved.
@@graemesmith6721 Exactly.
My goodness this pair can travel fast. I know it's been a long time since I have read about Ayla in the Clan of the Cave Bear books. But I do remember when she travelled from some where around Central Europe back to the Caves of Lascaux with her love interest, the trip took almost a year and she did most of it on horse back.
8:31 that birds aren't giant killer dodos, they are Phorusrhacos.
Ramsay Bolton How did you know the species of Terror Bird?
That or Titanis walleri
12:27 This may be odd, but my sister moved to another knack of the woods last year and she says - and I quote: "All the people there care about is their husbands or wives, their kids, their house. Maybe their parents. There is no friendship at all. They don't even listen to you. You tell a person that you don't take milk in your coffee, you tell them a thousand times." I kinda like that scene in the movie, it has a ring of truth to it.
I recall seeing the very first trailer for this movie & thought to myself "I wonder how many people will either rip it a new one, or, give it mixed reviews."...
Brother, was I right!
Thank you, Film Brain.
"IS THAT A PLASTIC BOTTLE!?" FB how I have missed you so
Bruce Leeds Never noticed it before, from looking at it now I would have thought maybe it was made of glass ? But yeah, does look like a plastic bottle.
I feel like one of the extras brought that on set without knowing it and the director didn't even care.
@@mattc2306 Makes sense to me.
Only Film Brain can do the "call a character by anything else other than their true name" schtick and actually make it not just tolerable, but enjoyable
14:50 - 15:24 This movie almost broke Matt.
If you pause on the map of Europe and the Atlantic Ocean, it shows Atlantis. They messed up Doggerland too.
I clicked on this movie originally because I thought it was a documentary, I think I made it about 5 minutes before I decided I couldn't go any farther.
I was really looking forward to that non-existent documentary...
sorry but those aren't dodos they are a terror bird of some kind examples of some terror birds are:Titanis, gastornis, kelenken, phoruscorincus,.
Alpha Raptorhunter THANK YOU! And here I thought I had to point it out.
I’m not an expert on Cenozoic animals, but thanks for the information.
9:44 Smilodons (also known as the “Saber-Tooth Cat”) are not the descendants of tigers, but they’re part of the big cat family and they’re supposed to be extinct during the last Ice Age.
Yeah they have there own family
You do have to give Roland props. It's not often you see a movie that say's duck you to so many subjects at once.
History, Geography, Anthropology, Chemistry, Geology, Biology, Astrology, Agriculture.
Most movies settle for one or two; but this movie goes above and beyond.
When it comes to accuracy defiance I suppose you could say they went to infinity AND BEYOND (Yes this is a shameless reference cause Disney now owns Natgeo)
and to add to the stupid if you pay close attention in the map room scene at the end the origin of the 'fake god dude' is....(drum roll please)....Atlantis. no i'm not kidding its only for a second but one of the maps shows a landmass in the middle of the Atlantic.
fucking called it....
I have a confession to make... This was one of favourite movies as a child. I still love the scene with the sabre tooth tiger.I am sorry, internet, I have failed you.
It’s literally like year one, hitting a bad guy on the head with a club just once and they’re out for days.
8:33 Actually they're called Terror Birds. They lived in South America and migrated north to Texas and Florida when North and South America joined... and went extinct about 7 thousand years before the movie take place.
More like 2 million years before.
This movie features beasts that were long extinct by 20,000BC
Considering that the TV Tropes page for Godzilla (1998) uses almost every Artistic License tag on the site, I'm not surprised that this movie also skimped out on basic research.
The great pyramid actually had a gold-plated top originally and is quite justified in being a world wonder for both its beauty and its construction. According to what ive heard of course, ive never seen it.
I don’t know about the top, but it was sheathed in polished stone that was looted over the centuries to build other things.
@markiangooley Yaya, the whole thing was beautiful smooth stone and the top was nice n gold
This was supposed to be a semi-preguel to Stargate. Complete with Ra.
Hence *every* technological anachronism of his civilization.
thanks, beyonce chick from todd's 2016 worst list!
Lynn Green huh interesting if true
Heck I swear with how they stupidly are building the pyramids thousands of years early I'm shocked they didn't have 3 tablets in the background that were meant to be references to the Egyptian God Cards (Potential lawsuits from Shueisha the real company that owns Yugioh be damned)
That would have awesome wtf
Taking a shot every time Film Brain does the "tic-tac" joke wasn't the best decision...still it's pretty fucking funny. Tic-tac. Pshh. Lol
“Climate doesn’t work that way.”
You’re talking to a director who made “The Day After Tomorrow”
It makes sense in that film cause it's about climate change
The geography could actually be explained by changes in elevation. If D'leh's people live on a high plateau, they could go from an arctic climate to a tropical jungle just by descending a few thousand feet. Mount Kilimanjaro sits on a tropical savannah right on the equator, but its peak is icy cold and basically lifeless.
This feels like a bad adaptation of the Turok games.
I like that pun, mammoth review.
10:20 This Smilodon isn’t hungry, but it was trapped in the hole and wants to be free. What a treehugger.
21:06 "Popcorn seeds?" You mean, corn?
This movie would be much more entertaining if they omitted the date and any sense of this being "historical", and instead called it something like "What You Think Happened Back Then", turning it into a satire of Hollywood's ignorance about history.
Maybe the tagline could say "Don't you dare read that history book!"
Why does everyone look like they're wearing felt wigs? Seriously, combs and braiding techniques have been around for thousands upon thousands of years, there's no reason for everyone in the movie to be sporting the exact same wannabe rastafarian look.
Also, I just love how the sabretooth tiger is like three times bigger than real sabretooth tigers were, 'cause I guess the massive teeth just didn't make them badass enough for this movie.
This movie has guilty pleasure written all over it.
Maybe this is the Earth the Maximals landed on in Beast Wars.
Just end it with the reveal of a time machine or a space ship, and this movie could be slightly better.
So if he and his spear disproved god-kings that long ago, why did Egypt have pharaohs afterwards
Trey the explainer started a series of cover all the inaccuracies
maybe they are just unbelievably in competent trackers and just kept going thousands of miles in the wrong direction to completely different climates
The geography could actually be explained by changes in elevation. If D'leh's people live on a high plateau, they could go from an arctic climate to a tropical jungle just by descending a few thousand feet. Mount Kilimanjaro sits on a tropical savannah right on the equator, but its peak is icy cold and basically lifeless.
This movie is reflective of Americans trying to learn history via Hollywood movies lol!
Good review, regarding the corn seed though, I think the implication is that the seeds (plus maybe some basic instructions given with them off screen) lets the hunter gatherer tribe start the slow road towards agriculture.
Still dumb considering corn is from the Americas and wasn't even fully domesticated in 10 000 BC, though.
@@Niobesnuppaagreed 😂
Jesus, Film Brain. Cats CAN be tamed and certainly can remember people, and them understanding language is not required. Granted it's silly for a wild animal to repay a debt, but it would be no less silly had it been a dog, monkey, or even another person from a different social group.
It's just that animals don't have the capacity of debt or compassion. A tiger won't stop hunting because a human (lower on the food chain) that it came across one time and had no attachments to came back to face it again. And how could an animal, regardless of how smart that type of animal is, have the mental capacity to understand that a human is being threatened when not immediately being attacked?
barbaro267 Ask around and you'll likely find plenty of pet owners who can corroborate that animals are capable of distinguishing which humans are their friends. You may even hear that in some exceptionally rare cases a dog might just make a big show of "protecting" their owners (via barking and growling) from some person or group which the dog perceives as a threat. Hard to believe, but true. And while it might be annoying, it's certainly never considered eye-rollingly unrealistic.
barbaro267 well some just can
@@barbaro267 Animals may not feel compassion like we do, but a lot of them can most certainly can tell who to trust and who to not. Especially cats, dogs, etc. And many animals have a sort of 6th Sense that can alert them of danger even if the danger hasn't happened yet.
That said, it's still unrealistic that a prehistoric cat would bond with a human THAT quickly.to the point of being willing to defend it. Yes you can form bonds with animals but that shit takes time, sometimes a long time. Most of the cats I owned growing up hated strangers and it would take someone awhile for the cat to trust them, even then they'd still be uneasy (with the exception of 1 who was essentially a lazier, more friendly Garfield that was grey). And honestly I wouldn't mind if this movie was just about a caveman making a bond with some fucking saber toothed tigers. That'd be an awesome movie
Crack theory: This movie is actually set in 10,000 AD, being a post-apocalyptic setting. The mammoths are thanks to cloning beforehand
That would solve all the problems.
I actually like this Movie but it's because I ignore the title and Watch it as an alternate universe/fantasy film. But for those who can't do that I understand why they hate it with all the historian inaccuracies.
Maybe this is set in the Minecraft world. It's geography is questionable as well.
We need some more new ones. :) I'm sure there's been some recent movies that qualify.
Why would the Egyptians use mammoths to build the pyramids instead of elephants?
I have no idea and it doesn’t make sense whatsoever.
When are you going to make more bad movie beatdown?
This is Life of Pi 10,000 BC style. Nice....
For a second I was looking at the map at 13:50 thinking perhaps it made more sense if you thought of all the continents as a single mass (Pangaea). It didn't help. It wouldn't make any sense in terms of time either.
For just a moment, I considered giving Emmerich the benefit of the doubt and see if there was a reasonable way to decode the logic. I know now as I knew then that this was a mistake. Shouldn't have thought harder about than he ever did....
Pangea doesn't account for the years of traveling required to reach all the places seen in this film.
Pangea was waaaaaaaaaay before humans anyway, so honestly if this movie was set on Pangea it would make even less sense.
@@barbaro267 You know that the islands of New Zealand, which aren't that large, contain both glaciers and tropical rain forests, right? That's due to changes in elevation. If D'leh's people live on a high plateau with an arctic climate, they could reach a tropical jungle just by descending a few thousand feet.
Also there was that one time he made a Stonewall film (genre departure aside, it pretty much instills the “destroy a landmark” criteria) which seemed well-intentioned at first especially since Emmerich himself is gay. But he ruined it by creating a fictional white lead even though most of those involved in Stonewall were people of color and often what we today would call trans or at least gender non-conforming queer people. Not helped by the fact that Emmerich called the character of Danny “straight-acting”. Way to shoot your message in the foot, Ron!
i am pretty sure the original script for this movie was a prequel to stargate. For whatever reason they didn't put any alien ship or give us those kewl laser weapons.
So this is basically a sad attempt at blending themes from "Conan the Barbarian" and "300".
Is the character's name really DELAY?? lmao...
I know its not a good movie but I liked it, and I've always seen it as fitting Robert E. Howard's Conan universe, specifically his short essay "The Hyborian age".
Normally I hate the "Egyptians didn't build the pyramids" idea, as well as the fucked geography and anachronisms, but here I see it as the same weird world of Conan but in a more primitive state. My Head Canon is basically the main characters are Early Hyborians or some other tribe while Egypt is Stygia, where they worship a God King and lone survivor of Atlantis who escaped the Cataclysm. Just like Thulsa Doom.
Maybe the director thought Pangea was a thing, which could explain the close environments
Pangea was a thing. However, continents move at about the rate your fingernails grow. 12,000 years ago, their arrangement was basically identical to what it is now. The close environments could be explained by changes in elevation, however. If D'leh's people live on a high plateau, it would be very cold up there. They could enter a tropical jungle just by descending a few thousand feet. There are places in the real world like this.
When you showed the hypothetical map of their travels I noticed that they didn't wander to North America. Which made me think that the climax of the movie would happen there (because everything important can happen only in the US, right, that's Hollywood logic). For a moment I was sure that they would establish the place by showing a prehistorical Statue of Liberty. When it comes to movies about cavemen I think I'll take "La guerre de feu", thank you very much :P
What's up with those different climates there? xD
I'm pretty sure they're in one location or region but wow..xD
The only way it would make any sense would be if there were extreme changes in elevation. If D'leh's people live on a high plateau, it would be cold up there. Then they could enter a tropical environment just by descending a few thousand feet. But I see no evidence that they did that in the movie.
so this is year one but like serious?
One of the most forgettable movies I've ever seen.
The boats on the river have lateen sails, which weren't invented until the 2nd century BC, nearly 10,000 years after this movie takes place.
Homer: this movie? It's just a bunch of random stuff that happens!
Holy crap the people who are endangered saw Godzilla, are still alive, I. Guess they struggled to survive moon 44.
"...where they eat *chili peppers*?"
Seriously, was Film Brain going through puberty a second time during the old days of BMB?
This movie makes "more sense" when you realize it's based on the Ancien Astronauts theory.
I swear, Roland Emmerich is the film director version of that conspiracy nut no one believe.
In fact, many of his movies are based on conspiracy theories; Stargate also has the Ancient Astronauts theory, 2012 is about the Mayan Prophecy theory and Anonymus is about both about the Authorship theory AND the Virgin Queen Gave Birth to a Hidden Tudor Successor thoery.
gladly we have science, logic and intellect - so we don't have to believe)))
EVEN if you skip all the absence of logic in the movie - it is stll a shitty movie, bad acting, bad script, bad montage, bad visuals, it's just bad... it happens
6:46 and 14:50 is the funniest parts of the review
Maybe it takes place in the world of a JRPG?
Those aren’t dodo birds those were terror birds whom where 10 ft tall flightless bird of prey that could swallow things the size of a hound
what would have made this movie awesome is if at the end what they ended up building was a star gate and the goa'uld walked through it and implanted our hero with a symbiote and he was effectively Ra. hidden Star Gate prequel!
maybe they should have added an extra couple zeros on the end of the title. pretty sure people were far more advanced then cavemen by this point in time.
I love this review. Definitely one of my favourites :)
Everyone reviewing this movie like it is supposed to be a based on a true story historical drama. It is not and I don't recall it being pushed out that way. It's more like a story in the same vein as the Greek myths. It is a fantasy adventure film that follows the hero's journey cycle.
you were almost a Dodo SANDWICH!
I have a perfectly great explanation for this, this guilty pleasure sir is set in the universe of Conan the barbarian.
Totally agree. all the weird geography and pseud-history is reminiscent of the Hyborian age but long before Conan was born. Robert E. Howard said that the Hyborian age is set around 14,000 - 10,000 BC.
Starting to wonder if this started as a Conan adaptation that he had to make into an original film after failing to get the rights.
I've seen this several times and try to imagine that it's set in an alternate universe. Otherwise. It's just a confusing mess
I'm surpriced Matthew didn't mention that the film implies the false god is an alien from Atlantis. When the protagonist ask what's the deal with the god-emperor, the African tribesman who speaks English says something like "some people say they came from the stars. Others say they arrived from the sea after their homeland sunk. They were three initially, but now only one is left" (the people who watched _Ancient Aliens_ probably noticed that the last part sounds similar to the theory that the pyramids where build by Atlantean refugees. Especifically that Isis, Osiris and Set were three royal siblings from Atlantis whose advanced technology and incestuous family drama became the basis of Egypcian religion)
I like your journalist-like voice intonation LOL
Wow, this movie is dumb.
And not even the fun kind of dumb.
Temperature: I don't feel like it.
I think your intro is way too long.
You could always SKIP IT.
Yeah, that's what I do.
Always the sign of a quality movie when the bad guy's death is ripped off from Outlaw of Gor.
It's really a shame this movie was so terrible. I want to see a movie with mammoths, saber tooth tigers, or just one that focuses on animals in general. Not the Disney clothes-wearing kind, although Fantastic Mr Fox doesn't suck, I mean a Warriors movie (the cats). I haven't watched Watership Down yet, only because I'm still looking for a great live-action movie about animals.
I enjoyed this move. It wasn't supposed to be serious history, but a fun exploration of weird theories of unknown ancient civilizations. Like the pyramids and sphinx being 12,000 rather than 4,000 years old. The mysterious Egyptian overlords are apparently supposed to be refugees from Atlantis, which explains their advanced technology.
I do briefly acknowledge the Atlantis concept used here in my 2012 review.
It totally makes sense because the events take place after the Finno-Korean hyperwar, that's why they have "advanced" technology, because they're relics.
How the fuck does go from cold snowy mountains to fucking Egypt there is no mountain range near Egypt like that
As a mammoth lover, I am insulted of how they portray the mammoths. The mammoths are way too large and they gallop. I still love mammoths but the ones in this movie aren’t good enough for me. Manny from Ice Age and the mammoths from Walking with Beasts are far better. They are more accurately portrayed. This movie, after all, was made by Roland Emmerich, the guy who made the awful Godzilla 1998 movie. As a Godzilla fan, I don’t count it as a Godzilla film as Godzilla is portrayed terribly, being weak, and not having atomic breath.
Anyway, I said enough.
Heck the owners of the Godzilla IP didn't like Roland Emmerich's take either. I mean they put their own version of it in Godzilla: Final Wars under the name of simply "Zilla" and had it die quickly.
You sound a lot like that small guy from History Boys. I mean that as a compliment. Good review.