I listened to this meditation this morning as I am awaiting the fallout from a no-contact letter I mailed to my narcissistic parents last week. They should receive it today or tomorrow. I found it impossible to imagine ideal parents' reactions in most of the situations. I found myself instead recalling examples of my parents' reactions in those situations and now realizing how deficient and hurtful those reactions were. I did not experience parents who could respond with love and empathy and shared joy. I think I will need to listen to this exercise several more times in the next several weeks so I can move past my actual parents and form an image of idealized parents. (I am a 64 yo woman. I have a lifetime of non-ideal responses to overcome.) Thank you for presenting this and all your other videos.
Much love and healing to you. You are doing the right thing to protect yourself. It’s so hard to navigate toxic parents, especially when you have to go no contact. But you deserve to have peace and happiness.
I sent a no contact letter to my mother 2 weeks ago. I am 65. I am starting to work this Daniel P Brown practice. It seems easier to do without a connection with my FOO- frees up the space to cultivate new patterns. I still have overlap of old memories that intrude into the attempts to imagine different parents, but I put the new parents in the old scenes, replacing the old parent bodies, for now. I have/had a lifetime of narcissistic partners, but that is changing, AND there is still lots of time to experience healthier connections! Good luck to you. You will do sensational with practice!!
Friends....you took steps to save yourself, as you should. God bless all of you....I'm older, I sent "the letter" back in 1996....my healing began. As I walked thru this meditation my parent was Jesus because EVERYTHING that was taking me thru the exercise is how God Loves Us❤. He grieves what our parents did to us. Their free will choices hurt us. Just as our free will can hurt others or enhance them. I pray ALL of Us rest in the Loving arms of God. Get up on His lap & see His smiling face as He wraps His arms around you & Loves You so much that He stretched out His arms & died. Like Him...we too can raise about our tragedy & truly Live & Love. We can & We will. You are precious people, priceless in fact! Healing is possible & you can do this.❤
I did this twice today (first time I used a video from somebody else but it was very similar.) both times I had a very hard time imagining different parents. I love my parents as imperfect as they were. And it kind of made more sense to me to imagine my own parents then some people I hardly know. The first time around I started crying right away and it felt healing. The second time, with Dr Sage, I was struggling again trying to imagine different parents and also struggling to imagine different reactions. I was mostly remembering their indifference or harshness
I have the exact same problem, I am completely incapable of imagining an ideal parent! I don't know how on earth someone who has awful parents is supposed to imagine anything other than what they experienced... I want to say I feel better knowing that I am not alone in this, but that just sounds incredibly selfish and mean...
Thank you so much for this, I appreciate the care and time you put into this. The ad in the middle was so so shocking for the system after being so at ease and in deep meditation. I couldn’t find the peace to continue after that
Whaaaa?! There are commercials in the middle of this meditation? Please, please do all the adverts right up front and get them over with so the listener can relax.
Hope you find this guided imagery exercise powerful! Please remember that meditation is a practice, like yoga:). It can take a few times before it starts to really feel like a way to re-imagine your ideal parent figures. xo
This was very relaxing. This exercise is quite hard at first - my inner child didn't trust the ideal parents so had to play around a lot. And thoughts about actual parents kept popping in. Is that ok? I heard on a support forum we can try to heal our own parents to make it easier. Can we do this exercise imagining healthy parents for our parents?
as many other commenters mentioned, please adjust ad settings to play only at the beginning of the video. we understand you monetizing this great content - but it is frankly harmful to have ads popping up in the middle of this guided meditation.
This meditation showed up on my feed in Devine timing. I woke up this morning with really heavy feelings regarding my mom and having to go no contact. This meditation brought so much relief to my body. My Devine parents knew exactly how to comfort me. Thank you soooooooooooooooo much for creating and sharing this 🙏♥️🙏♥️🙏♥️
Thank you, Dr.Sage for this soothing and enlightening video. I will be receiving more sage advice from your Re-Mothered course. My inner adult and inner child appreciate you and your therapeutic approach to complex PTSD issues. _\m/
Thank you Kim Sage, you should do meditation series one day! I do guided meditations every day with different teachers and your voice is the best! It was very soothing and calming
This was really powerful for me and it brought me to tears - but the video is riddled with ads. I couldn't go 5 minutes without being knocked out of meditation. Not nice.
Thank you for this meditation, at first I wasn't sure if it would work for me, since I have quite some problems with imaginative techniques, but after a few minutes I really felt it working and helping me in the moment. Whether it will bring positive long term effects I am not quite sure yet, but I'm hopeful and thankful for this technique.
Hi Dr Sage, i am a therapist in training and having a difficult time finding IPF training or workshops. I would like to use it in my practice. Any guidance would be so appreciated! Lovely meditation here ❤️
The meditation is great but getting ads about school shootings during it took away from the effectiveness. I was crying about ideal parents when it began telling me about Sandy Hook..
I have a question??? What if it’s Not me that is “Controlling Everything”? It’s my husband that is controlling my life. He speaks down to me about everything. If we are around others and I am saying something he doesn’t like ( He will grab my arm, give me a angry look, grab my leg, something to get my attention so that I will stop speaking about a certain subject. He likes me to be at home. Not working or doing things that I am interested in. He is a good father, he works hard & is a good provider to our family. But, when it comes to our marriage, in his opinion Nothing I do is good enough, things that I say seem to be extremely annoying to him. He micromanages me in every way. Sometimes I don’t think he even realizes it. I will call him out sometimes & he always justifies his actions. I feel “Trapped”. I have spoken to him about divorce for several years. But he says it’s not what he wants. But I know I am not happy and I know he is not happy. He doesn’t want to talk about the issues we are having, he doesn’t want to go to couples therapy and I feel more & more alone, disrespected, unhappy, I absolutely isolate myself from him & life in general. I spend 95% of my day’s alone. I don’t feel that I can truly be happy unless I can be freed from this relationship and find myself again. I’m in a Very Dark Place and it is so difficult!! I have been married to him for over 25 years. We have three daughters, March 31, 2022 my oldest daughter passed away. This has been absolutely devastating to me. Although this trauma is so difficult and such a painful thing to deal with, my marriage problems have only gotten worse. I need to be able to share how I’m feeling with my husband. But he doesn’t want to speak of it. He always says that I have already said these things, or he doesn’t want to talk about it. He says I need to move on & do something to make myself happy and not dwell on the past. Maybe he is correct?? I wish I could do things that make me happy, but the hobbies that I used to enjoy and be passionate about I no longer have a desire to do anymore. I feel so lost ( I don’t feel happy ever ). I use to be so confident, independent, strong, I knew who I was, what I wanted in my life, I knew my own worth and I didn’t need a partner/husband to make my life complete. I didn’t need to be married to be happy. I was very happy I had many close friends and I was always busy doing the things I loved. Travel, Art, sewing, gardening, dancing, concerts…….. But I did want children & a family. I always wanted to be a mother. After I had children they were & still are “My Life” they made me so happy & I love being a Mother. Giving them all the Love & attention that they deserved. ( the love & attention that I didn’t feel I had from my mother ). I love my mom very much but we are not close. She has always chose her friends, boyfriends, husbands, over her children. If it wasn’t for my father & my grandmother I wouldn’t have felt loved at all. I know I have not been a perfect mother but I know that my children absolutely knew how much I love them, that they are special, supported, that I was there for them always, and that I was there for them no matter what. However, I do feel scared for them because I do not want them to end up in a bad relationship. I feel that children who grow up and there are problems in the parents relationship it’s going to effect them and the choice’s they make in there own relationships with friends, boyfriends etc. although myself and my husband would try to go on a ride to talk so that we were not arguing in front of them, I know that they felt the tension between us and absolutely has effected them, my oldest daughter had a rough marriage that caused her a great deal of pain. Because of this & many other situations I feel an Extreme Amount of Guilt because I didn’t know what was happening and my daughter didn’t feel that she could come to me and tell me what she was going through. I knew that things were not good in the last year of her marriage, I had no idea just how bad things were. I know I cannot go back in time and change what happened. But I do have a lot of regret because I know I could have done more for her. Grief is something I don’t know how to deal with. It’s all consuming. It’s not just emotional pain it’s physical as well. Depression, Anxiety, Sorrow, Sleeplessness, are Extremely Devastating. “ Grief is the price we pay for Love “. That I know with all of my being!!
I read your whole comment. I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. You sound like a lovely person who cares very much for her children. I'm sorry you are going through so much emotional turmoil. I hope you know that you don't deserve a partner who you makes you feel the way your husband seems to make you feel. I've seen my mother shrink in her marriage with my father and it hurts to watch. You deserve to thrive. Just imagine how much you'll be able to give your loved ones when your cup overflows. But also it's what you deserve. You deserve a good life. Wishing you all the best
You have it in you, one part of your brain knows all your worth and wants to find joy in your hobbies and in being YOU. What helped me was to detach myself from him for a long enough period of time, I had the chance he had to go abroad for work and I moved to a place by myself. After a few weeks I started to reason by myself, i started to lose the control on my mind and to see things with my own eyes. I started to feel strong again and that he had taught me I needed him to survive, yet he needed ME to need HIM in order for HIM to survive. I also found a lot of support in the Thrive after abuse facebook group. You can make it, you have it in you 🌻
It’s a great meditation but it seems like she’s in a hurry. Give me a moment to visualize what you’re telling me to visualize and feel what you are telling me to feel before moving on to the next thing. I felt like I couldn’t keep up with the constant stream of instructions. Just shhhhhhhh… for a minute now and then.
I listened to this meditation this morning as I am awaiting the fallout from a no-contact letter I mailed to my narcissistic parents last week. They should receive it today or tomorrow. I found it impossible to imagine ideal parents' reactions in most of the situations. I found myself instead recalling examples of my parents' reactions in those situations and now realizing how deficient and hurtful those reactions were. I did not experience parents who could respond with love and empathy and shared joy. I think I will need to listen to this exercise several more times in the next several weeks so I can move past my actual parents and form an image of idealized parents. (I am a 64 yo woman. I have a lifetime of non-ideal responses to overcome.) Thank you for presenting this and all your other videos.
Much love and healing to you. You are doing the right thing to protect yourself. It’s so hard to navigate toxic parents, especially when you have to go no contact. But you deserve to have peace and happiness.
I sent a no contact letter to my mother 2 weeks ago. I am 65. I am starting to work this Daniel P Brown practice. It seems easier to do without a connection with my FOO- frees up the space to cultivate new patterns.
I still have overlap of old memories that intrude into the attempts to imagine different parents, but I put the new parents in the old scenes, replacing the old parent bodies, for now.
I have/had a lifetime of narcissistic partners, but that is changing, AND there is still lots of time to experience healthier connections! Good luck to you. You will do sensational with practice!!
Friends....you took steps to save yourself, as you should. God bless all of you....I'm older, I sent "the letter" back in 1996....my healing began. As I walked thru this meditation my parent was Jesus because EVERYTHING that was taking me thru the exercise is how God Loves Us❤. He grieves what our parents did to us. Their free will choices hurt us. Just as our free will can hurt others or enhance them. I pray ALL of Us rest in the Loving arms of God. Get up on His lap & see His smiling face as He wraps His arms around you & Loves You so much that He stretched out His arms & died. Like Him...we too can raise about our tragedy & truly Live & Love. We can & We will. You are precious people, priceless in fact! Healing is possible & you can do this.❤
I did this twice today (first time I used a video from somebody else but it was very similar.) both times I had a very hard time imagining different parents. I love my parents as imperfect as they were. And it kind of made more sense to me to imagine my own parents then some people I hardly know. The first time around I started crying right away and it felt healing. The second time, with Dr Sage, I was struggling again trying to imagine different parents and also struggling to imagine different reactions. I was mostly remembering their indifference or harshness
I have the exact same problem, I am completely incapable of imagining an ideal parent! I don't know how on earth someone who has awful parents is supposed to imagine anything other than what they experienced... I want to say I feel better knowing that I am not alone in this, but that just sounds incredibly selfish and mean...
Thank you so much for this, I appreciate the care and time you put into this. The ad in the middle was so so shocking for the system after being so at ease and in deep meditation. I couldn’t find the peace to continue after that
Yeah it's not well timed...
Take the video almost to the end, let it finish, then click replay (aprl 24, a video with this length will show no ads in the replay)
Please Take off the ads! There were two interruptions loud ads in the middle. You can change the ad settings so they only come on at the beginning.
yes it totally ruined it for me
@@pipgalea1376Take the video almost to the end, let it finish, then click replay (aprl 24, a video with this length will show no ads in the replay)
Dr Kim pls do more of these. Your voice is the most soothing thing ever!
Ok I will! I am so happy you enjoyed it!! 💗💛💗
Whaaaa?! There are commercials in the middle of this meditation? Please, please do all the adverts right up front and get them over with so the listener can relax.
Thank you! This has been the only work that is able to fill up my empty heart. It's amazing how powerful this exercise is.
Hope you find this guided imagery exercise powerful! Please remember that meditation is a practice, like yoga:). It can take a few times before it starts to really feel like a way to re-imagine your ideal parent figures. xo
This was very relaxing. This exercise is quite hard at first - my inner child didn't trust the ideal parents so had to play around a lot. And thoughts about actual parents kept popping in. Is that ok?
I heard on a support forum we can try to heal our own parents to make it easier. Can we do this exercise imagining healthy parents for our parents?
as many other commenters mentioned, please adjust ad settings to play only at the beginning of the video. we understand you monetizing this great content - but it is frankly harmful to have ads popping up in the middle of this guided meditation.
This is wonderful. I’m crying at my kitchen table. Thanks so much for making this.
Hi Kim. Love your work. It would be fabulous if the ads were taken out please. It disrupts the beautiful flow you are creating
This meditation showed up on my feed in Devine timing. I woke up this morning with really heavy feelings regarding my mom and having to go no contact. This meditation brought so much relief to my body. My Devine parents knew exactly how to comfort me. Thank you soooooooooooooooo much for creating and sharing this 🙏♥️🙏♥️🙏♥️
🙏🙏💗💛Thank you for sharing this! I am so sorry, and I so understand - holidays are really challenging. Sending you love and light!
This would be amazing if it weren’t for the ads shocking me out of my relaxed state
Take the video almost to the end, let it finish, then click replay (aprl 24, a video with this length will show no ads in the replay)
Meditation is great and the Drs Sage voice is soothing and calming, but the loud ads all of the sudden really freaked me out.
Same, I wish there was a version with no ads, they were so disruptive
@@ST-ou7yrTake the video almost to the end, let it finish, then click replay (aprl 24, a video with this length will show no ads in the replay)
You are the person I pictured as the ideal mom ❤❤❤ thank you for sharing your wisdom with us on TH-cam ❤
Thank you, Dr.Sage for this soothing and enlightening video. I will be receiving more sage advice from your Re-Mothered course. My inner adult and inner child appreciate you and your therapeutic approach to complex PTSD issues. _\m/
This meditation has been so helpful for me, I come back again and again.
Thank you Kim Sage, you should do meditation series one day! I do guided meditations every day with different teachers and your voice is the best! It was very soothing and calming
This made me cry 😭😭😭😭
This made me so emotional and filled me with so much hope! Thank you for this!
This was really powerful for me and it brought me to tears - but the video is riddled with ads. I couldn't go 5 minutes without being knocked out of meditation. Not nice.
This was so amazing and soothing thank you so much for sharing! Would love more meditations like this. ❤
Thank you for making this video, from the bottom of my heart
Ads in the middle made this hard to start focused on
Thank you for this meditation, at first I wasn't sure if it would work for me, since I have quite some problems with imaginative techniques, but after a few minutes I really felt it working and helping me in the moment. Whether it will bring positive long term effects I am not quite sure yet, but I'm hopeful and thankful for this technique.
This was incredible
Thank you I will be doing this more often ❤️
This made me so emotional! Thank you so much!!
So helpful! Thank you!
The meditation was very soothng.
I can't imagine such parents. Tried the original meditation by Mr Brown too. Maybe the words are too abstract for me, too general.
I had some trouble imagining my mother smiling at me but it got easier as I reminded myself what she went thru as a child.
7:55 already feeling safe in my body
Thanks for this extended version. Author's video on YT is too fast and starts too abruptly.
Couldn’t get into it with the ads :/
Has anyone ever ACTUALLY overcome an anxious attachment style? I’ve found ZERO records/case studies of such a person
@@Ghs--173 Do you mind if I ask how long it took?
Hi Dr Sage, i am a therapist in training and having a difficult time finding IPF training or workshops. I would like to use it in my practice. Any guidance would be so appreciated! Lovely meditation here ❤️
It helped me so much thank you so much.
The meditation is great but getting ads about school shootings during it took away from the effectiveness. I was crying about ideal parents when it began telling me about Sandy Hook..
I have a question??? What if it’s Not me that is “Controlling Everything”? It’s my husband that is controlling my life. He speaks down to me about everything. If we are around others and I am saying something he doesn’t like ( He will grab my arm, give me a angry look, grab my leg, something to get my attention so that I will stop speaking about a certain subject. He likes me to be at home. Not working or doing things that I am interested in. He is a good father, he works hard & is a good provider to our family. But, when it comes to our marriage, in his opinion Nothing I do is good enough, things that I say seem to be extremely annoying to him. He micromanages me in every way. Sometimes I don’t think he even realizes it. I will call him out sometimes & he always justifies his actions. I feel “Trapped”. I have spoken to him about divorce for several years. But he says it’s not what he wants. But I know I am not happy and I know he is not happy. He doesn’t want to talk about the issues we are having, he doesn’t want to go to couples therapy and I feel more & more alone, disrespected, unhappy, I absolutely isolate myself from him & life in general. I spend 95% of my day’s alone. I don’t feel that I can truly be happy unless I can be freed from this relationship and find myself again. I’m in a Very Dark Place and it is so difficult!! I have been married to him for over 25 years. We have three daughters, March 31, 2022 my oldest daughter passed away. This has been absolutely devastating to me. Although this trauma is so difficult and such a painful thing to deal with, my marriage problems have only gotten worse. I need to be able to share how I’m feeling with my husband. But he doesn’t want to speak of it. He always says that I have already said these things, or he doesn’t want to talk about it. He says I need to move on & do something to make myself happy and not dwell on the past. Maybe he is correct?? I wish I could do things that make me happy, but the hobbies that I used to enjoy and be passionate about I no longer have a desire to do anymore. I feel so lost ( I don’t feel happy ever ). I use to be so confident, independent, strong, I knew who I was, what I wanted in my life, I knew my own worth and I didn’t need a partner/husband to make my life complete. I didn’t need to be married to be happy. I was very happy I had many close friends and I was always busy doing the things I loved. Travel, Art, sewing, gardening, dancing, concerts……..
But I did want children & a family. I always wanted to be a mother. After I had children they were & still are “My Life” they made me so happy & I love being a Mother. Giving them all the Love & attention that they deserved. ( the love & attention that I didn’t feel I had from my mother ). I love my mom very much but we are not close. She has always chose her friends, boyfriends, husbands, over her children. If it wasn’t for my father & my grandmother I wouldn’t have felt loved at all. I know I have not been a perfect mother but I know that my children absolutely knew how much I love them, that they are special, supported, that I was there for them always, and that I was there for them no matter what. However, I do feel scared for them because I do not want them to end up in a bad relationship. I feel that children who grow up and there are problems in the parents relationship it’s going to effect them and the choice’s they make in there own relationships with friends, boyfriends etc. although myself and my husband would try to go on a ride to talk so that we were not arguing in front of them, I know that they felt the tension between us and absolutely has effected them, my oldest daughter had a rough marriage that caused her a great deal of pain. Because of this & many other situations I feel an Extreme Amount of Guilt because I didn’t know what was happening and my daughter didn’t feel that she could come to me and tell me what she was going through. I knew that things were not good in the last year of her marriage, I had no idea just how bad things were. I know I cannot go back in time and change what happened. But I do have a lot of regret because I know I could have done more for her. Grief is something I don’t know how to deal with. It’s all consuming. It’s not just emotional pain it’s physical as well. Depression, Anxiety, Sorrow, Sleeplessness, are Extremely Devastating. “ Grief is the price we pay for Love “. That I know with all of my being!!
I read your whole comment. I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter.
You sound like a lovely person who cares very much for her children. I'm sorry you are going through so much emotional turmoil. I hope you know that you don't deserve a partner who you makes you feel the way your husband seems to make you feel. I've seen my mother shrink in her marriage with my father and it hurts to watch. You deserve to thrive. Just imagine how much you'll be able to give your loved ones when your cup overflows. But also it's what you deserve. You deserve a good life.
Wishing you all the best
You have it in you, one part of your brain knows all your worth and wants to find joy in your hobbies and in being YOU. What helped me was to detach myself from him for a long enough period of time, I had the chance he had to go abroad for work and I moved to a place by myself. After a few weeks I started to reason by myself, i started to lose the control on my mind and to see things with my own eyes. I started to feel strong again and that he had taught me I needed him to survive, yet he needed ME to need HIM in order for HIM to survive.
I also found a lot of support in the Thrive after abuse facebook group. You can make it, you have it in you 🌻
Thank you.❤
Commercial alert
It’s a great meditation but it seems like she’s in a hurry. Give me a moment to visualize what you’re telling me to visualize and feel what you are telling me to feel before moving on to the next thing. I felt like I couldn’t keep up with the constant stream of instructions. Just shhhhhhhh… for a minute now and then.
0:34 if you’re a repeat visitor