If he is not a man who fears Allah. He doesn't fulfill his basic religious duty like praying at the mosque (as opposed to praying at home like a woman or not praying at all), he sleeps all day during Ramadan, has almost no religious knowledge and is not interested in learning. A man who doesn't fear Allah will not respect you. A man who does not fulfill his responsibilities towards Allah will not fulfill his responsibilities towards his family.
Thanks, Sister Nafisa ! Number 8 happened to me. As soon as I met this man he was asking me a lot of questions about what kind of job I'm doing, how many days I was working if I work full time or part time he said he wanted to help me . I foolishly thought he was interested in my professional life. A few days later, he asked me for money. I was shocked ! To me, a man who has his dignity and respects himself he will never ask a woman for money no matter how poor he is.
One of my personal red flags is someone who doesn't respect his commitments. I find it so important as too many people (men and women) say things they don't actually do. Words become meaningless and this definitely impacts the level of respect you have for the individual. Also, I would be VERY careful with regard to ego. How does the individual react to disagreements? Is it all about him being right or about the issue? How does he react to other cultures/people of other social classes? Is he nationalist? May Allah protect us and allow us to have the qualities we look for in a spouse.
If he's a momma's boy or easily manipulated by other family members to the point that he will share all your secrets with his mother/others and he will neglect his responsibilities towards you to please that person (mother/other wife/other family member).
After watching many murder/crime documentaries i understand how important it is to know about someone's parents, their childhood or up bringing. It says a LOT about a person!!!
Not every relationship is bad, there are happy homes out there, yes no one is perfect but that doesn’t mean we should give up. Not everyone can stay alone forever so if you desire a happy home, go for it and Allah is capable of doing that also.
Al Salamu 'alaykom wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatuh sister , Remember that this life is temporary , And that one day we will die , May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make us from the people of Jannatul firdaws al a'la and protect us from the punishment of the grave and the punishment of the akhira, Allahuma Ameen ya Rabbi ya Dhul Jalali wal Ikram Ya Rahman ya Rahim
Beautiful advice Nafisatu ❤ all that you’ve said is correct! Before my marriage I had a feeling that he wasn’t it but his beautiful nature showed me otherwise. He was calm, cool, collected, patient,loving… I still wasn’t feeling it and wanted to postpone the wedding. He firmly was against it and said anything could come up in a year. Ended up marrying him and his true colour came out, not wanting to taking any responsibility for the family, mentally, physically abusing and to add to that financial abusing too. He left the household with a pile of unpaid bills with a child to support on my own trust what Nafisatu is saying Allah’s given women the intuition as a way to protect ourself, please use it or you’ll end up regretting it 🌷
Subhanallah i was talking to a man who showed a lot of those red flags. I knew it right away, intuition right ! But due to my age (35 soon to be 36), i thought that i should sabr. And i did. Few things bothered me: 1. he only talked about that, always 2. He had 0 responsability regarding money 3. I later found out on my own that he was undocumented. 4. He told me within a week that he loved me and when i told him to go slow, he denied until the end that he wasn't in love with me. He said A today, B the next day. Always. I "stayed" with him for 2 months and then called it off. He was never serious about it, and i thank Allah that i'm not a romantic, because he was a smooth talker. Be careful,think with your brain not your heart 🥰 Thank you for this video Nafisa 😘
Salaam, I also ended a potential marriage. Following my intuition was the hardest but I know Allah is the most merciful and giving. I understand that my husband was already written for me and he is out there. Although I am sad because this was someone I pictured a life with but I just knew that he wasn’t the right person for me..
Such a great video! I wish this came out when I was 18 because it would have helped me avoid an unhappy and abusive relationship. Back then I didn't have the experience or maturity to spot these red flags you mentioned. 🙏
None of us did. And really the only reason we are able to wake up and learn now, is because of connecting to so many others with similar trials. We can compare notes, but also we have excellent teachers like Nafisa! Also, though, this is the path Allah SWT chose for us, to seek coming closer to Him, and to learn to not put our dependence on humans. Like Prophet Yousef, AS.
my father owns multi million companies in the gulf region however i suspect that a british man, muslim ofc wants to gain some kind of leverage from this . im a student in london, young and ambitious and my looks are decent alhamdilla so i think its double trouble (my looks and fathers finance) and not just susceptible to him but any man i encounter.. but people get mad when i say i want a wealthy man because at least i know he has options and finances and he chose me for me
It is your right to have the same (or better) standard of living that you are used to having and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that Keep your standards high and don't settle
You are entitled for whatever you want in life. Sorry to say it to you but he seems to have malicious intent towards you. So I advise you to stay guarded. Most muslim men are religious narcissists and you should focus on how spiritual he really is in his simple daily life. How empathetic he is towards other people and creators. Because many use the term as an ego boosting tool to gain societal leverage.
If he has an addiction or bad habit. This may be an addiction to cigarettes, another substance, the internet, his phone, hanging out in the streets, etc. The point is, this addiction or bad habit takes up a majority of his time. This means that Allah and his family will always come 2nd and/or 3rd in his life. He will not work to fulfill his responsibilities because he is busy supporting his addiction/habit. If you try to come in between him and his addiction/habit or give him al ultimatum, you may not have the outcome you'd like. Depending on what the addiction is, you may even be in danger.
Good advice. Once had a useless mentally unstable argumentative 50 year ar old man who I dumped for good in time - who was doing all of this and marrying me just for the 'passport' and wanted me to pay all the bill, get a house and always arguing about money or the lack of it! Hs just was not a man. Advice to older sisters don't marry desperately- or anyone on 'work permit' illegals or student visas full stop. Don't get desperate! May Allah find us sincere genuine positive and stable men for husbands who are practicing and financially secure and good for our akhira. Ameen.
Jazakillahu khayran sis. You have said it all, I wish I knew all these before I got married or let me say i knew some of these but was emotionally blinded. I'm close to 43 and 13 yrs in marriage with 3 kids. Husband and I live in different towns because of our works, can't tell all am currently going through ....... but don't want to divorce him because of my kids. My adviçe: Don't marry a man who's too secertive and adhere strictly to sis Nafisa's words. May Allah reward her abundantly.
My dear sister Nafisa, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the very necessary work you do for the community, these videos are so unbelievably important and relevant in navigating a scary world with people who can be so careless with people's lives and hearts. Thank you for sharing your beneficial wisdom and knowledge, I learn so much from you and take notes. Whilst there are men doing wonderful work in topics like this, hearing information like this from a fellow sister is really comforting and comes from a perspective of understanding how we women feel, so may Allah enable you to keep benefiting the ummah and bless you with the best in this life and the next ameen.
Please try to make Allah a consistent priority in life and He will guide and help in ALL situations and grant success in this life and the next by His permission. That's the secret to success through Allah.
Assalamu alaykum. This has helped me make me a calculated decision.. this has prevented me from being broken... My intuition warned me that something wasn't right... And this video gave me a means of direction.. and it has made me feel relieved and saved me a lot of stress and problems
Wow so true what you said everything you said. Especially about the men trying to rush you I had that happened once by the men’s father and I found out why they didn’t want me to know something
Wow, it's weird that I've noticed all these red flags in one person and just like you mentioned I wasn't sure if it was my intuition or just me overthinkin it.🤯
Also sisters, there's another type of men who only marries to get physical otherwise they don't care about your feelings... If you aren't emotionnally stable enough, please be careful ! remember that it can get to a point where some of them might see you in distress or having a crisis and dare to make fun of you in those moments ... May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect you all from that ameen ya Rabbi and grant you peace in this dunya and akhira . Please my sisters avoid arrogant, narcissistic men . Try to look for someone who was raised as a humble gentleman , One who doesn't seek to gain dominance over you , who has deen , who seeks your opinion as well , who treats you like a human being. And if you can't find that men then know that staying single is way better in some cases , better be alone than being treated like an animal or less . And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala forgive us and make us from al muqarabeen , make us live this life as He subhanahu wa ta'ala pleases , be amongst the muhsineen , the mutaqeen, the sabeeqoon , the muqaraboon , al dhakirat Allah kathiran , the people of Jannatul firdaws al a'la and make us from those who'll never experience punishment after our dunya , Ameen ya Rabbi ya Dhul Jalali wal Ikram Ya Rahman Ya Rahim May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect you my beautiful sisters , remember that a man isn't everything and make duaa to be independent and only depend on Allah , and to make the halal sufficient for you over the haram , and make you from the ones who are grateful and do plenty of istighfar ameen ya rabbi Subhanaka Allahuma wa bihamdika ash-hadu anla ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilayk سبحانك اللهم وبحمدك أشهد أن لا إله إلا أنت أستغفرك وأتوب إليك
A man who always difficulty getting along with others. It's always someone else's fault and he didn't do anything wrong. For some reason or another, the world is always out to get him. His ex-wife is a witch, his ex-bff is a liar, those family members he has issues with have always been envious of him, his neighbors are always picking on him. He never takes personal responsibility for any of his problems and, therefore, will never resolve them. Stay away or get a pair of boxing gloves so you can swing it out alongside him in the street
@@MC-fw5vt When looking for a spouse, we should look for a righteous and religious husband/wife. Religion over culture always. There are some people like this, but not all. Lets put our trust in Allah.
Sister i love you for the sake of Allah. I see some similarities in you in me. I seen your video about your personality test. Im actually more of an introvert due to personal reasons. Allah knows best why he turned me into an introvert as i got older. This also increased my eman. I pray one day we cross paths in sha Allah. Sister keep being amazing. I will also keep you in my duas 🤲🏿
Great video sister Nafisa. Your contents are so valuable Alhamdulillah. There are men out there that go as far as emotionally blackmailing a lady for more physical contact. I've heard stories about women asking for more intimacy from men too. Ladies I tell myself and I tell you, it's not just worth your dignity at all. And men can get bored easily. In the terms of sister Nafisa "love bombing" Slow pace does it. May Allah bless us with good spouse.
Whilst in the process of finding a potential you can do a small lie in not revealing your past, since that is between you and Allah Subhanallah Wa'Tala.
This video , Is what I have been wanted to hear for years! All the point you talk here ! Very alive! Thank you 😊 Nafisa ! You are really inspiring! May Allah bless you always.
Let me share my story A few months ago a muslim man proposed to me and I accepted without making it hard for them. After making the first family introduction, he started changing, he kept on abusing me, manipulating me, controlling me, said so many hurtful things to me, this was tough for me because I had genuinely loved them. I later mastered courage and called off the Nikkah. Its true that with any decisions, always pray to Allah. He called and quarrelled but i stayed firm on my decision. He had all the red flags in this video. 13 days later after canceling, he married someone else. I thank Allah for saving me from what would have been a disastrous marrriage Dear sisters, please pray about absolutely everything, Allah will guide us all to the Right spouses.
Jzk for such an insightful video Nafisah! One I will definitely come back to. Please can you dedicate a video talking about dealing with finances in a marriage, how you should *split* the bills, what is an unrealistic financial expectation put on the brother etc. I hear a lot of let’s save together go 50/50 then one day we will be set and only Allah knows whether that day will come etc. how to properly vet men financially and ensure you don’t bear the financial burden Jzk xxx
“Men are the caretakers of women, as men have been provisioned by Allah over women and tasked with supporting them financially.” [Quran, 4:34] Personally, I'm against this whole westernised 50/50 mentality propagated by some of the islamic scholars to fit their own narrative. I feel the general consensus is that a man should cover all household necessesities, such as shelter, medicine, food and clothing (this only covers needs not desires though) and spend according to his wealth. A wife is not obliged to spend her income on her household or her family. It is her choice if she contributes financially out of affection for her husband to relieve him of his burden. It should never be assumed or expected by her husband though. If a man cannot, at the very least cover all the household necessities then he should wait until he can before getting married. Otherwise, he is not ready to get married. “..Take from his wealth on a reasonable basis, only what is sufficient for you and your children”- [Sahih Al-Bukhari 5049, Muslim, 1714]. “But the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis” [al-Baqarah 2:233] “Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him” [al-Talaaq 65:7]
My Narcissistic husband of 22 years prayed and recited the Quran daily, so I thought he was a decent person. Unfortunately an emotional affair, with the same woman from his teenage years, for the second time, destroyed our marriage. I only found out last year that he wanted to marry her when they were young l, but her father said no. He kept that a secret and the fact that he’s always wanted her, guess he’ll get what he wants now. Years of emotional and financial abuse has left me thoroughly exhausted. Can’t believe that I was fooled for so many years, by someone who puts a ‘mask’ on for others, but was a tyrant to his family, Subhan’Allah 😔
This works for multiple religions and for both men and women. She's good. "When a man shows extreme jealousy...You may be just an addition to the other things in his life that he needs to have control over." Insightful. "You don't know or have never met any members of his family." Obviously family includes family equivalent for atypical circumstances...but it's an important indicator. "When they know your post code, game over." Double thumbs up. The 8 signs are all legit: seen them all in various pretenders before.
We are still humans and desire peace and harmony at our deepest core. Not for a mentally sick narcissist that is not why they get married or have children. So we should not assume that the other has same values and visions as we do. No matter how much we enjoyed spending time together.
Very informative video sister. I'm sure this will benefit many sisters out there. I am 42 and finding it extremely difficult to get married after 8 years since my divorce. Attended the so called marriage events but unfortunately not being able to find a quality marriage material type of guy. I am beginning to lose hope and despairing at times. I am a practising sister and even went for Umrah during Ramadan to ask Allah for a spouse. I am too old to be starting a family so have given up on that aspect. Any advice/video regarding this would be greatly appreciated sister Nafisa.jzk.
May Allah help you🥺 are you praying Tahajjud? Miracles happen. Do you have any advice about someone going into marriage? ( by the way I’m still single so this a general question🤣)
@@aj__love5919 Jzk sister for your kind words. May Allah make it easy for you and bless you in your marriage Ameen. Yes I do pray Tahajjud frequently alhamdulilah. I do istighfar tasbeeh daily,read quran daily and fast weekly alhamdulilah. Their is some khair in His timing it's just hard to deal with the long wait. The advice I can give you ,going into a marriage is to make sure you have done your background checks on the man you intend to marry. Marry someone who is truthful and trust your gut instincts .If at the getting to know stage ,you feel that you are getting a bad vibe /feeling then do not go ahead. Also ,pray Istikhara each time you are looking into a proposal and do this before you get emotionally attached with the guy. Also, marry a guy who has good manners and Prays his salahs. Hope this helps you 😊
@@pearls2733 Wa Iyyaki! And also JazakAllah ♥️ I will definitely use your advice because it’s hard. And doing Istikhara is the best. Keep going sister, May Allah make it easier for us all. Allah’s timing is always the best🥹
Allahumabarik the comment you made about intuition and being a mother to a newborn is elite and it makes sense why women supposedly have a stronger intuition than men in certain areas.
SubhanaAllah!!!! This was on point Sis, powerful message thank you for always sharing such beautiful beneficial knowledge Ma shaa Allah TabarakAllah 🤲🏾🤲🏾❤️🌹
I can attest to sign number 7. My biological male parent told my mother and my grandparents that he was all alone in this world🙄. No siblings, parents are no longer among the living….the whole works. He lied. Had two whole older brothers, idk how many sisters and BOTH PARENTS “kicking” as you said 😂. My mom was married to him when one day out of the blue his oldest brother popped up and said “hey I’m looking for (narcissist).” Obviously my mom asked who he was and he said “I’m his brother.” I can’t imagine what she felt in that moment…finding out that fix his mouth to lie that bad and to her whole family. And yes, he was abusive. So much that I want absolutely nothing to do with him.
I just recently subscribed to your channel and all I want to say is I’m completely blown away by your content.. mashallah so inspirational and so much wisdom.. I learnt a lot from this and can truly relate to some of the red flags you mentioned.. Sisters reading my comment, I’ve tried and test most of what this sister has said, complete facts! So please be careful and may Allah swt keep all of us safe & protected Ameen.
Jazaakillah khairan sister Nafisa! I have watched a few of your videos and they are all so amazingly beneficial. May Allah protect all of us from spouses that don’t have our best interest at heart. I love you for the sake of Allah sis💕 Congratulations on finding your well deserved husband and the beautiful blessing of a baby! May Allah SWT continue to bless you fee dunya and aahirah Ameen💕
MashaAllah nafisaaaa I am sooo astonished by the things u said! Subhanallah I WROTE DOWN SOME NOTESSS 📝!😂😂 Subhanallah I recognized some patterns. Great video
Loool truss I’ve come across some , the love bombing when you don’t even know my surname like I could legit be your worst nightmare but you’ve already envisioned our life together. Girlllllsss and guys who claim they’re divorced and they have kids especially online . First question should be are you still married if not can I meet the ex wife then lool this helps filter those who want secret second wives
😂😂😂 I know right! Meeting the wife such an important thing to do if he already has one and a woman is considering being the 2nd because you can see things for yourself if he is serious. A secret marriage is a disaster or any woman, don’t do it! You are worthy to be known and respected as a wife.
im so sad, last month i gave this guy a chance whom i didnt on first sight fully liked but would wanted to give it a chance because ive gotten lonely and didnt want to regret not to have given a try for the sake of Allah to marry in halal. but your right, the intuition made me feel so scared about him. he would not listen on just our second date to not get in his car, he insisted to drive me elsewhere, i had to say no way to many times. but also asks me many question wich as i asked him the same he wouldnt answer the same questions. i feel like i deserve love and safety but Allah wont give it to me, i already had such unloving unsafe life i grew up wich made me and my mother very sick as my mum had cancer and surgeries because of my father was not her right match and abusive in a way she insisted to stay but at all cost of her happiness and health, im sad i m waiting for the same destiny. i would love to heal my wounds, and really hope i wont give in to someone like my dad but thats the only guys i atract who are same like my dad, i will probly die alone
No sister don’t think this way inshallah you will find a incredible husband that will love you as you love him and value you as you value him. Never think negatively about your future and always have faith in Allah SWT to give you what you hope to have and if you really want to strive even more than you already do towards gaining a loving husband than try to pray tahajjud salah and make dua at night for what you wish to have and make dua for Allah to forgive your father and to forgive your mother and make dua that Allah enters both your parents into jannah because this world is only for tests and forgiving your father yourself will heal your heart and heal your wounds and Inshallah you will be just fine my sister it’s very hurtful to hear this message and inshallah you strive for better and strive towards faith and pray your salah inshallah and your heart and mind will find ease inshallah because Allah SWT said our hearts find ease in remembrance of him so make dikr sister and don’t lose faith and be patient because Allah SWT is with those who are patient.
Aslamoalicom Dear Sister Nafisa Thanks for your excellent this Important topic about Intentions. I believe the right Intentions is Important element of success any thing to be done. Wish you all the best success.
Asalaamu Alaaikulm jazak Allah for the video insightful, would you consider making a video about poligamy and islamic perspective of the positive perspective? Jazak Allah Khair
Mashallah your knowledge in relations is sooooo mature and 💯true. Please sister I need your opinion about marriage applications like Muzz . How I choose the right religious man on it . Please talk about this topic. Many thanks and love from Egypt.
Why you don’t go to the mosque and ask about a man ? My husband has and account there. A 45 year old divorce is for a reason but woman care more about money then anything else There is no man in Egypt?? Hypocrates are on those apps most of them they still marry like mine.
Assalamualaikum jazakallahu Khairan kaseerah sis nafeesa it really inspirational, very true even I suffered because lack of knowledge how men black mail innocent women and how innocent women are trapped with such evil men
With love bombing, it's not as simple as that.... You need to look at his overall behaviour. If there's other behaviours which are consistent with the negative aspect of love bombing then yes be careful! But it's not always abusive or narcissistic, it can be genuine. If it's reciprocated and if there are positives to him (because we all have red flags but some we can work through) then it might not be a bad thing. You have to look at the situation yourself and make judgement and not be oblivious to anything!
I love your videos , please make a video regarding essentials of marriage, how girls can get mentally prepared for marriage, please do share some marriage tips for girls , per marriage books to read Girls usually don’t have much idea regarding how to deal with marital issues and marriage also requires sacrifices so please share tour advices for girls who r getting married and also for those who r already married ❤❤❤
Sister i agree eith you😊 But maybe you should be careful when you talk about the jealousy part,as muslims might get confused In Islam, a man is supposed to be jealous. You know, gheera is a very important part of manhood actually. Maybe you could make a video, where you talk about that more specifically😘 Love you, sister. Salam aleykum!
Thank you for your input. That was why I said it is dependent on culture but instinctively we all know when it becomes extreme and out of the norm. That warning had to be said because extreme jealousy is one of the biggest giveaway of an abusive individual. May Allah guide us all rightly.
If the man lied about not saving my pics while he has them to send him more pics ..and when I figured out he said I lied because every time he ask me for a pic I refuse at first so he didn't wanted me to feel like he is a freak ..does is mean he is a manipulative man?
Yes he is. He is not yet your husband he should not asked for your pic do not send your pic to s man who is not your husband some men are very smart when it comes to this He will first go by sending him a normal picture then move on my asking you illicit pictures this men knows exactly what they want so be careful never entertain such men
I wish I had someone tell me these signs when I foolish took the red flags as not that problematic 😢.. 10 years later and 3 kids under 6 years old and he’s gone without a drop of regards or responsibility.. trying to come to terms with why I did not take these red flags into consideration 😢
I'm so sorry for what happened, may allah bless you with a loving caring spouse. Please try not to be so hard on yourself, the education were getting nowadays about red flags and what to look for is so much more common, you just didn't know any better
A sociopath type may present as almost perfect down to admitting his faults, but the Admission may represent a single percentage of his character and deeds. He frequents the mosque, prays fasts, he wears Muslim garments, grooms and grows that beard, tells you what you want to hear like hes an Actor with a Script, Set and Wardrobe.
Allah will expose his falsehood. There will be always something that'll come out wrong from that person. He might act but his actions will say otherwise, those won't always align.
Assalamu alaykum wa rahamatullah. May Allah bless you for your good content and all those clear information and advices you give us. BarakAllahu feek! Since the video is about the intention, I have been speaking with a practising muslim man for 5 months and one of the questions I asked from the very beginning was what is his intention in speaking with me, and he said "serious intention for the purpose of marriage". I'm 27 and he's 28, we have different cultures and we live in different countries, so we got to know eachother through the phone and he contacted me. The thing is we have been speaking about lots of important matters so not about "what's your favourite colour" kind of questions, but I'm noticing that this month he is being less and less present. Us women notice time dedication and I'd want him to be more present. I let him know that, he apologized and said he understood what I mean, but the situation hasn't changed. What should I think about this lack of presence? By that I mean one or two texts during the whole day and a phone call in two weeks more or less. I made him understand that I understand one is busy when one is working, but during days off it should be different and he should be more present. I don't really know what to think about this lack of presence and communication lately, do you have any advice? Oh and I'm praying my istikhara prayer and I hope Allah will guide me through all this. This lack of presence/communication may possibly mean Allah wants us not to be together, I'm starting to think that. JazakAllahu Khair for your time!
If he hangs out with friends too much is another red flag. My grandma force me to get engaged to a guy that has loads of pics of himself sharing a bed with his friends on trips they would take. One of his closest friends got upset that he was engaged with me. All of it was so suspicious. Also his niece was weirdly attached to him, she kept telling me her and her uncle looked like a couple 😣
Ladiiies don't marry a man who "hates" people who do Daà'wah, i swear i was talking to someone saying "I don't feel comfortable listenning to them" 😱😱 and i was like okey that's already enough for me. NEXT.
**The red flags mentioned in the video** 1- If he’s pushing you for physical intimacy 2- If he’s bombarding you with too much love ( love bombing you) 3- If your intuition is telling something is wrong then trust your gut instinct and take your time in doing background checks on him 4- If he shows extreme jealousy (he will end up controlling you as he feels a sense of entitlement and you CANNOT change him so DON’T settle and be careful ) 5- If he lies a lot (common lies include lying about their age, lying about their previous marriage and pretending to not have been married before. This will cause you to have trust issues) 6- If you’re doubting whether he’s marrying you for you or he’s trying to obtain spousal visa through you. Once he gets his “right to remain” residency permit then you will see his true colours 7- if you don’t know or you’ve never met his family. He’s hiding you for a reason and him not introducing you to his family says a lot about his intentions and what he thinks if you. Make sure you verify the family he introduces too 8- If he keeps bringing up convos about finances especially if you’re a women who is well established or you come from a wealthy background. This is a sign of him trying to use you for financial gain
If he is not a man who fears Allah. He doesn't fulfill his basic religious duty like praying at the mosque (as opposed to praying at home like a woman or not praying at all), he sleeps all day during Ramadan, has almost no religious knowledge and is not interested in learning. A man who doesn't fear Allah will not respect you. A man who does not fulfill his responsibilities towards Allah will not fulfill his responsibilities towards his family.
Finding a husband is so stressful and scary since only Allah knows the hidden intentions they have in their heart😢
Thanks, Sister Nafisa ! Number 8 happened to me. As soon as I met this man he was asking me a lot of questions about what kind of job I'm doing, how many days I was working if I work full time or part time he said he wanted to help me . I foolishly thought he was interested in my professional life. A few days later, he asked me for money. I was shocked ! To me, a man who has his dignity and respects himself he will never ask a woman for money no matter how poor he is.
One of my personal red flags is someone who doesn't respect his commitments. I find it so important as too many people (men and women) say things they don't actually do. Words become meaningless and this definitely impacts the level of respect you have for the individual.
Also, I would be VERY careful with regard to ego. How does the individual react to disagreements? Is it all about him being right or about the issue? How does he react to other cultures/people of other social classes? Is he nationalist?
May Allah protect us and allow us to have the qualities we look for in a spouse.
Aameen ya Rabbil'Alamin 🤲
If he's a momma's boy or easily manipulated by other family members to the point that he will share all your secrets with his mother/others and he will neglect his responsibilities towards you to please that person (mother/other wife/other family member).
Very true. This leads to abuse of the wife
💯 TRUE EXPERIENCED IT
@@tinaali3686 I'm sorry you went through that. May Allah ease your burdens.
You are absolutely right!
After watching many murder/crime documentaries i understand how important it is to know about someone's parents, their childhood or up bringing. It says a LOT about a person!!!
Same those documentaries have really helped me with judging people...
@@rahmashazly6912
So true
The thought of Marriage petrifies me, so much deceit sloshing around. Personally best to be single and rely on Allah swt. Sad times unfortunately.
Not every relationship is bad, there are happy homes out there, yes no one is perfect but that doesn’t mean we should give up.
Not everyone can stay alone forever so if you desire a happy home, go for it and Allah is capable of doing that also.
Same here sister. I'm scared of commitment
@geekista Oh Allah swt, please make it easy for all of us muslim women, ameen.
@Halo H ameen ya rabi 🤲
Al Salamu 'alaykom wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatuh sister , Remember that this life is temporary , And that one day we will die , May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make us from the people of Jannatul firdaws al a'la and protect us from the punishment of the grave and the punishment of the akhira, Allahuma Ameen ya Rabbi ya Dhul Jalali wal Ikram Ya Rahman ya Rahim
jazak Allahu khayran you're soo right I agree with you with all the point may الله protects all , istekhara had saved my life from marrying someone
Waiyakum.
Beautiful advice Nafisatu ❤ all that you’ve said is correct! Before my marriage I had a feeling that he wasn’t it but his beautiful nature showed me otherwise. He was calm, cool, collected, patient,loving… I still wasn’t feeling it and wanted to postpone the wedding. He firmly was against it and said anything could come up in a year. Ended up marrying him and his true colour came out, not wanting to taking any responsibility for the family, mentally, physically abusing and to add to that financial abusing too. He left the household with a pile of unpaid bills with a child to support on my own trust what Nafisatu is saying Allah’s given women the intuition as a way to protect ourself, please use it or you’ll end up regretting it 🌷
Subhanallah i was talking to a man who showed a lot of those red flags. I knew it right away, intuition right ! But due to my age (35 soon to be 36), i thought that i should sabr. And i did. Few things bothered me: 1. he only talked about that, always
2. He had 0 responsability regarding money
3. I later found out on my own that he was undocumented.
4. He told me within a week that he loved me and when i told him to go slow, he denied until the end that he wasn't in love with me. He said A today, B the next day. Always.
I "stayed" with him for 2 months and then called it off. He was never serious about it, and i thank Allah that i'm not a romantic, because he was a smooth talker.
Be careful,think with your brain not your heart 🥰
Thank you for this video Nafisa 😘
Salam as I’ve just ended a potential marriage today, I can agree with all these especially following your intuition.
May Allah ease your affairs and grant you what is best. Stay strong
Salaam, I also ended a potential marriage. Following my intuition was the hardest but I know Allah is the most merciful and giving. I understand that my husband was already written for me and he is out there. Although I am sad because this was someone I pictured a life with but I just knew that he wasn’t the right person for me..
@@khadijalulu2166 sending you dua sis.
Such a great video! I wish this came out when I was 18 because it would have helped me avoid an unhappy and abusive relationship. Back then I didn't have the experience or maturity to spot these red flags you mentioned. 🙏
Thank you. Insha’Allah it helped those who are yet to know. Stay blessed
None of us did. And really the only reason we are able to wake up and learn now, is because of connecting to so many others with similar trials. We can compare notes, but also we have excellent teachers like Nafisa!
Also, though, this is the path Allah SWT chose for us, to seek coming closer to Him, and to learn to not put our dependence on humans.
Like Prophet Yousef, AS.
Allah is the Only and Best help for the believers.
@@aishahwilliamsmobley
If Allah swt was the best help for humans, Allah would of destroyed abusive husbands.
my father owns multi million companies in the gulf region however i suspect that a british man, muslim ofc wants to gain some kind of leverage from this . im a student in london, young and ambitious and my looks are decent alhamdilla so i think its double trouble (my looks and fathers finance) and not just susceptible to him but any man i encounter.. but people get mad when i say i want a wealthy man because at least i know he has options and finances and he chose me for me
It is your right to have the same (or better) standard of living that you are used to having and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that Keep your standards high and don't settle
You are entitled for whatever you want in life. Sorry to say it to you but he seems to have malicious intent towards you. So I advise you to stay guarded. Most muslim men are religious narcissists and you should focus on how spiritual he really is in his simple daily life. How empathetic he is towards other people and creators. Because many use the term as an ego boosting tool to gain societal leverage.
If he has an addiction or bad habit. This may be an addiction to cigarettes, another substance, the internet, his phone, hanging out in the streets, etc. The point is, this addiction or bad habit takes up a majority of his time. This means that Allah and his family will always come 2nd and/or 3rd in his life. He will not work to fulfill his responsibilities because he is busy supporting his addiction/habit. If you try to come in between him and his addiction/habit or give him al ultimatum, you may not have the outcome you'd like. Depending on what the addiction is, you may even be in danger.
True
Alhamdullah for having you sister may Allah swt give you more barakah in life and make everything easy for you
Good advice. Once had a useless mentally unstable argumentative 50 year ar old man who I dumped for good in time - who was doing all of this and marrying me just for the 'passport' and wanted me to pay all the bill, get a house and always arguing about money or the lack of it! Hs just was not a man. Advice to older sisters don't marry desperately- or anyone on 'work permit' illegals or student visas full stop. Don't get desperate! May Allah find us sincere genuine positive and stable men for husbands who are practicing and financially secure and good for our akhira. Ameen.
Wow, glad you escaped that. It’s never feels good to be used. May Allah keep us all genuine 🤲🏾
I’m so happy you go through that phase and JazakAllah for the advice 😊
Jazakillahu khayran sis. You have said it all, I wish I knew all these before I got married or let me say i knew some of these but was emotionally blinded. I'm close to 43 and 13 yrs in marriage with 3 kids. Husband and I live in different towns because of our works, can't tell all am currently going through ....... but don't want to divorce him because of my kids.
My adviçe: Don't marry a man who's too secertive and adhere strictly to sis Nafisa's words.
May Allah reward her abundantly.
My dear sister Nafisa, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the very necessary work you do for the community, these videos are so unbelievably important and relevant in navigating a scary world with people who can be so careless with people's lives and hearts. Thank you for sharing your beneficial wisdom and knowledge, I learn so much from you and take notes. Whilst there are men doing wonderful work in topics like this, hearing information like this from a fellow sister is really comforting and comes from a perspective of understanding how we women feel, so may Allah enable you to keep benefiting the ummah and bless you with the best in this life and the next ameen.
You are most welcome and may Allah reward you for seeking nearness to him. Jazaka’Allahu khairan
Aameen ya Rabbil'Alamin 🤲
آمين يارب العالمين 🤲🏽
Please try to make Allah a consistent priority in life and He will guide and help in ALL situations and grant success in this life and the next by His permission. That's the secret to success through Allah.
Such a great video for young muslim girls looking for marriage! Jazak'Allah khair!
Alhamdulilah
Salam Alaykum Sis Nafisa , can you please make a video on anxiety and panic attacks before marriage?
Assalamu alaykum. This has helped me make me a calculated decision.. this has prevented me from being broken... My intuition warned me that something wasn't right... And this video gave me a means of direction.. and it has made me feel relieved and saved me a lot of stress and problems
جزاك اللهُ خيرًا
Dear sis for this beneficial video. May ALLAH عز و جل truly bless your effort ❤
Waiyakum. Ameen
Wow so true what you said everything you said. Especially about the men trying to rush you I had that happened once by the men’s father and I found out why they didn’t want me to know something
Wow, it's weird that I've noticed all these red flags in one person and just like you mentioned I wasn't sure if it was my intuition or just me overthinkin it.🤯
Also sisters, there's another type of men who only marries to get physical otherwise they don't care about your feelings... If you aren't emotionnally stable enough, please be careful ! remember that it can get to a point where some of them might see you in distress or having a crisis and dare to make fun of you in those moments ... May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect you all from that ameen ya Rabbi and grant you peace in this dunya and akhira . Please my sisters avoid arrogant, narcissistic men . Try to look for someone who was raised as a humble gentleman , One who doesn't seek to gain dominance over you , who has deen , who seeks your opinion as well , who treats you like a human being.
And if you can't find that men then know that staying single is way better in some cases , better be alone than being treated like an animal or less . And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala forgive us and make us from al muqarabeen , make us live this life as He subhanahu wa ta'ala pleases , be amongst the muhsineen , the mutaqeen, the sabeeqoon , the muqaraboon , al dhakirat Allah kathiran , the people of Jannatul firdaws al a'la and make us from those who'll never experience punishment after our dunya , Ameen ya Rabbi ya Dhul Jalali wal Ikram Ya Rahman Ya Rahim
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect you my beautiful sisters , remember that a man isn't everything and make duaa to be independent and only depend on Allah , and to make the halal sufficient for you over the haram , and make you from the ones who are grateful and do plenty of istighfar ameen ya rabbi
Subhanaka Allahuma wa bihamdika ash-hadu anla ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilayk
سبحانك اللهم وبحمدك أشهد أن لا إله إلا أنت أستغفرك وأتوب إليك
A man who always difficulty getting along with others. It's always someone else's fault and he didn't do anything wrong. For some reason or another, the world is always out to get him. His ex-wife is a witch, his ex-bff is a liar, those family members he has issues with have always been envious of him, his neighbors are always picking on him. He never takes personal responsibility for any of his problems and, therefore, will never resolve them. Stay away or get a pair of boxing gloves so you can swing it out alongside him in the street
@@MC-fw5vt When looking for a spouse, we should look for a righteous and religious husband/wife. Religion over culture always. There are some people like this, but not all. Lets put our trust in Allah.
MashAllah, your contents are so good and so helpful. All women should listen to this…
I wish I could have got all of these things before now. Very educative.
Sister i love you for the sake of Allah. I see some similarities in you in me. I seen your video about your personality test. Im actually more of an introvert due to personal reasons. Allah knows best why he turned me into an introvert as i got older. This also increased my eman. I pray one day we cross paths in sha Allah. Sister keep being amazing. I will also keep you in my duas 🤲🏿
Great video sister Nafisa. Your contents are so valuable Alhamdulillah. There are men out there that go as far as emotionally blackmailing a lady for more physical contact. I've heard stories about women asking for more intimacy from men too. Ladies I tell myself and I tell you, it's not just worth your dignity at all. And men can get bored easily. In the terms of sister Nafisa "love bombing" Slow pace does it. May Allah bless us with good spouse.
I needed this years ago. Jazakallah khayr 💜🤲🏾
Masha Allah very helpful and eye opening especially on Visa section jazza kul Allah khyr
MashaAllah you are glowing sis. Thank you so much for this vidéo. May Allah reward you immensely.
Ameen and May Allah continue to bless you too
Hi dear MashaAllah
Your advice is superb Masha’Allah 😊 JazakAllah Sis! Even though I am single it’s still always good to know
Whilst in the process of finding a potential you can do a small lie in not revealing your past, since that is between you and Allah Subhanallah Wa'Tala.
This video , Is what I have been wanted to hear for years! All the point you talk here ! Very alive! Thank you 😊 Nafisa ! You are really inspiring! May Allah bless you always.
Ameen Jazaka’Allahu khairan
Let me share my story
A few months ago a muslim man proposed to me and I accepted without making it hard for them. After making the first family introduction, he started changing, he kept on abusing me, manipulating me, controlling me, said so many hurtful things to me, this was tough for me because I had genuinely loved them. I later mastered courage and called off the Nikkah.
Its true that with any decisions, always pray to Allah. He called and quarrelled but i stayed firm on my decision. He had all the red flags in this video. 13 days later after canceling, he married someone else.
I thank Allah for saving me from what would have been a disastrous marrriage
Dear sisters, please pray about absolutely everything, Allah will guide us all to the Right spouses.
Jzk for such an insightful video Nafisah! One I will definitely come back to. Please can you dedicate a video talking about dealing with finances in a marriage, how you should *split* the bills, what is an unrealistic financial expectation put on the brother etc. I hear a lot of let’s save together go 50/50 then one day we will be set and only Allah knows whether that day will come etc. how to properly vet men financially and ensure you don’t bear the financial burden Jzk xxx
“Men are the caretakers of women, as men have been provisioned by Allah over women and tasked with supporting them financially.” [Quran, 4:34]
Personally, I'm against this whole westernised 50/50 mentality propagated by some of the islamic scholars to fit their own narrative. I feel the general consensus is that a man should cover all household necessesities, such as shelter, medicine, food and clothing (this only covers needs not desires though) and spend according to his wealth. A wife is not obliged to spend her income on her household or her family. It is her choice if she contributes financially out of affection for her husband to relieve him of his burden. It should never be assumed or expected by her husband though. If a man cannot, at the very least cover all the household necessities then he should wait until he can before getting married. Otherwise, he is not ready to get married.
“..Take from his wealth on a reasonable basis, only what is sufficient for you and your children”- [Sahih Al-Bukhari 5049, Muslim, 1714].
“But the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis” [al-Baqarah 2:233]
“Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him” [al-Talaaq 65:7]
well done sis , this is so beneficial . may Allah bless you with more wisdom
My Narcissistic husband of 22 years prayed and recited the Quran daily, so I thought he was a decent person. Unfortunately an emotional affair, with the same woman from his teenage years, for the second time, destroyed our marriage.
I only found out last year that he wanted to marry her when they were young l, but her father said no.
He kept that a secret and the fact that he’s always wanted her, guess he’ll get what he wants now.
Years of emotional and financial abuse has left me thoroughly exhausted. Can’t believe that I was fooled for so many years, by someone who puts a ‘mask’ on for others, but was a tyrant to his family, Subhan’Allah 😔
I'm so sorry for you... 22 years, that must've been really hard on you ... May Allah grant you a future full of happiness 🥰
Are you still together?
This works for multiple religions and for both men and women. She's good.
"When a man shows extreme jealousy...You may be just an addition to the other things in his life that he needs to have control over." Insightful.
"You don't know or have never met any members of his family." Obviously family includes family equivalent for atypical circumstances...but it's an important indicator.
"When they know your post code, game over." Double thumbs up. The 8 signs are all legit: seen them all in various pretenders before.
We are still humans and desire peace and harmony at our deepest core.
Not for a mentally sick narcissist that is not why they get married or have children.
So we should not assume that the other has same values and visions as we do. No matter how much we enjoyed spending time together.
Very informative video sister. I'm sure this will benefit many sisters out there. I am 42 and finding it extremely difficult to get married after 8 years since my divorce. Attended the so called marriage events but unfortunately not being able to find a quality marriage material type of guy. I am beginning to lose hope and despairing at times. I am a practising sister and even went for Umrah during Ramadan to ask Allah for a spouse. I am too old to be starting a family so have given up on that aspect. Any advice/video regarding this would be greatly appreciated sister Nafisa.jzk.
May Allah help you🥺 are you praying Tahajjud? Miracles happen. Do you have any advice about someone going into marriage? ( by the way I’m still single so this a general question🤣)
@@aj__love5919 Jzk sister for your kind words. May Allah make it easy for you and bless you in your marriage Ameen. Yes I do pray Tahajjud frequently alhamdulilah. I do istighfar tasbeeh daily,read quran daily and fast weekly alhamdulilah. Their is some khair in His timing it's just hard to deal with the long wait. The advice I can give you ,going into a marriage is to make sure you have done your background checks on the man you intend to marry. Marry someone who is truthful and trust your gut instincts .If at the getting to know stage ,you feel that you are getting a bad vibe /feeling then do not go ahead. Also ,pray Istikhara each time you are looking into a proposal and do this before you get emotionally attached with the guy. Also, marry a guy who has good manners and Prays his salahs. Hope this helps you 😊
@@pearls2733 Wa Iyyaki! And also JazakAllah ♥️ I will definitely use your advice because it’s hard. And doing Istikhara is the best. Keep going sister, May Allah make it easier for us all. Allah’s timing is always the best🥹
@@aj__love5919 💜💜💜.Ameen. you are very welcome sis and hope everything goes well for you.
@@pearls2733 Summa Ameen! I hope so too because I only trust Allah’s timing.
Allahumabarik the comment you made about intuition and being a mother to a newborn is elite and it makes sense why women supposedly have a stronger intuition than men in certain areas.
Allah is the Only & Best help for the believers. Please study the Quran and ask Allah for understanding and guidance.
I wanted you to keep going with the points. Sad it ended. Thank you so much and may Allah reward you abundantly. Love you
LOL I think 30 minutes of me is enough for one video 😂 but Alhamdulilah that you found it beneficial. Jzk
SubhanaAllah!!!! This was on point Sis, powerful message thank you for always sharing such beautiful beneficial knowledge Ma shaa Allah TabarakAllah 🤲🏾🤲🏾❤️🌹
Jazaka’Allahu khairan for watching. Glad it was helpful ❤
@@NafisasPearlz Aameen wa iyyaki Aameen yessssssss very Ma shaa Allah ❤️
unfortunately, most brothers want intimacy prior marriage. I get ghosted for not wanting to.
Allah is protecting you
What else does a man want from a woman?
I can attest to sign number 7. My biological male parent told my mother and my grandparents that he was all alone in this world🙄. No siblings, parents are no longer among the living….the whole works. He lied. Had two whole older brothers, idk how many sisters and BOTH PARENTS “kicking” as you said 😂. My mom was married to him when one day out of the blue his oldest brother popped up and said “hey I’m looking for (narcissist).” Obviously my mom asked who he was and he said “I’m his brother.” I can’t imagine what she felt in that moment…finding out that fix his mouth to lie that bad and to her whole family. And yes, he was abusive. So much that I want absolutely nothing to do with him.
The noor on your face tho❤
This part 9:22 😅 I’ve seen it maaaaany times. Ladies be careful be these men are willing to do anything for a passport.
I just recently subscribed to your channel and all
I want to say is I’m completely blown away by your content.. mashallah so inspirational and so much wisdom.. I learnt a lot from this and can truly relate to some of the red flags you mentioned.. Sisters reading my comment, I’ve tried and test most of what this sister has said, complete facts! So please be careful and may Allah swt keep all of us safe & protected Ameen.
Jazakallah ka'ir sister I really needed to hear this
Waiyakum sister
Jazaakillah khairan sister Nafisa! I have watched a few of your videos and they are all so amazingly beneficial. May Allah protect all of us from spouses that don’t have our best interest at heart. I love you for the sake of Allah sis💕 Congratulations on finding your well deserved husband and the beautiful blessing of a baby! May Allah SWT continue to bless you fee dunya and aahirah Ameen💕
MashaAllah nafisaaaa I am sooo astonished by the things u said! Subhanallah I WROTE DOWN SOME NOTESSS 📝!😂😂 Subhanallah I recognized some patterns. Great video
MashaAllah- This is a much needed video.
Such an eyeoper. Thank you, Jazakallahu khair.
God bless you sister. You are helping countless women and young women.
Ameen. Jazaka’Allahu khairan
Ma Shaa Allah.
Well done sis.
Loool truss I’ve come across some , the love bombing when you don’t even know my surname like I could legit be your worst nightmare but you’ve already envisioned our life together. Girlllllsss and guys who claim they’re divorced and they have kids especially online . First question should be are you still married if not can I meet the ex wife then lool this helps filter those who want secret second wives
And even if you don’t mind polygyny make sure you meet his wives .
😂😂😂 I know right! Meeting the wife such an important thing to do if he already has one and a woman is considering being the 2nd because you can see things for yourself if he is serious. A secret marriage is a disaster or any woman, don’t do it! You are worthy to be known and respected as a wife.
im so sad, last month i gave this guy a chance whom i didnt on first sight fully liked but would wanted to give it a chance because ive gotten lonely and didnt want to regret not to have given a try for the sake of Allah to marry in halal. but your right, the intuition made me feel so scared about him. he would not listen on just our second date to not get in his car, he insisted to drive me elsewhere, i had to say no way to many times. but also asks me many question wich as i asked him the same he wouldnt answer the same questions. i feel like i deserve love and safety but Allah wont give it to me, i already had such unloving unsafe life i grew up wich made me and my mother very sick as my mum had cancer and surgeries because of my father was not her right match and abusive in a way she insisted to stay but at all cost of her happiness and health, im sad i m waiting for the same destiny. i would love to heal my wounds, and really hope i wont give in to someone like my dad but thats the only guys i atract who are same like my dad, i will probly die alone
No sister don’t think this way inshallah you will find a incredible husband that will love you as you love him and value you as you value him. Never think negatively about your future and always have faith in Allah SWT to give you what you hope to have and if you really want to strive even more than you already do towards gaining a loving husband than try to pray tahajjud salah and make dua at night for what you wish to have and make dua for Allah to forgive your father and to forgive your mother and make dua that Allah enters both your parents into jannah because this world is only for tests and forgiving your father yourself will heal your heart and heal your wounds and Inshallah you will be just fine my sister it’s very hurtful to hear this message and inshallah you strive for better and strive towards faith and pray your salah inshallah and your heart and mind will find ease inshallah because Allah SWT said our hearts find ease in remembrance of him so make dikr sister and don’t lose faith and be patient because Allah SWT is with those who are patient.
Aslamoalicom Dear Sister Nafisa
Thanks for your excellent this Important topic about Intentions. I believe the right Intentions is Important element of success any thing to be done.
Wish you all the best success.
Asalaamu Alaaikulm jazak Allah for the video insightful, would you consider making a video about poligamy and islamic perspective of the positive perspective? Jazak Allah Khair
Aslamulakum Nafisa. Please make Du'a for me, I'm going through a rough time right now.
May Allah help you 🤲
@@lydiaafilales2497 Ameen 🤲🏽
Mashallah your knowledge in relations is sooooo mature and 💯true. Please sister I need your opinion about marriage applications like Muzz . How I choose the right religious man on it . Please talk about this topic. Many thanks and love from Egypt.
Jazaka’Allahu khairan. I will consider it insha’Allah. Thank you for watching
Why you don’t go to the mosque and ask about a man ?
My husband has and account there. A 45 year old divorce is for a reason but woman care more about money then anything else
There is no man in Egypt??
Hypocrates are on those apps most of them they still marry like mine.
Jazaka Allah khairan. Just in time MashaAllah ❤
Waiyakum
This video is so needed thank you
Assalamualaikum jazakallahu Khairan kaseerah sis nafeesa it really inspirational, very true even I suffered because lack of knowledge how men black mail innocent women and how innocent women are trapped with such evil men
Thank you so much for this Nafisa. That video of how to read between the lines is a much needed one. Anticipating 😊
With love bombing, it's not as simple as that.... You need to look at his overall behaviour. If there's other behaviours which are consistent with the negative aspect of love bombing then yes be careful! But it's not always abusive or narcissistic, it can be genuine. If it's reciprocated and if there are positives to him (because we all have red flags but some we can work through) then it might not be a bad thing. You have to look at the situation yourself and make judgement and not be oblivious to anything!
And pay attention to how you FEEL! don't ignore that!
Jazakumullahu Khairan
MashAllah such a nice video to educate ourselves may Allah grant us good spouse Ameeen
Ameen
I love your videos , please make a video regarding essentials of marriage, how girls can get mentally prepared for marriage, please do share some marriage tips for girls , per marriage books to read
Girls usually don’t have much idea regarding how to deal with marital issues and marriage also requires sacrifices so please share tour advices for girls who r getting married and also for those who r already married ❤❤❤
I definitely recommend reading a book called “The Handbook of a healthy Muslim marriage” by Shaykh Abdur-Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera 🤍😊
@@idiegirl jazak Allah dear, I will definitely read it inshallah
Love all your videos ❤ mashallah you are the big sis we all need. What’s your thoughts on our Muslims bros and their obsession with Andrew Tate?
I don’t know who that is. I may research into it.
@@NafisasPearlz oh no well I’m sorry for introducing his name to you!
Is there a link if nafisa made the video for reading between the lines?
Marsha Allah Sister, great advice
Sister Nafisa, can you tell me how to deal with insecure man like pros and cons. I'm in that position where I'm with insecure man right now.
Sister i agree eith you😊
But maybe you should be careful when you talk about the jealousy part,as muslims might get confused In Islam, a man is supposed to be jealous. You know, gheera is a very important part of manhood actually. Maybe you could make a video, where you talk about that more specifically😘 Love you, sister.
Salam aleykum!
Thank you for your input. That was why I said it is dependent on culture but instinctively we all know when it becomes extreme and out of the norm. That warning had to be said because extreme jealousy is one of the biggest giveaway of an abusive individual. May Allah guide us all rightly.
We miss your videos ❤
I like how you say “sis”😅❤❤❤
UR AMAZING JAK ❤
Good advice. I was blessed and I don’t know why. My husband is spoiled rotten, though not perfect. 🇺🇸🇸🇦❤️
Beautiful ❤❤❤
If the man lied about not saving my pics while he has them to send him more pics ..and when I figured out he said I lied because every time he ask me for a pic I refuse at first so he didn't wanted me to feel like he is a freak ..does is mean he is a manipulative man?
Yes he is. He is not yet your husband he should not asked for your pic do not send your pic to s man who is not your husband some men are very smart when it comes to this
He will first go by sending him a normal picture then move on my asking you illicit pictures this men knows exactly what they want so be careful never entertain such men
Assalam Walekum Sis,
can you make a video abt right intension Man.
I wish I had someone tell me these signs when I foolish took the red flags as not that problematic 😢.. 10 years later and 3 kids under 6 years old and he’s gone without a drop of regards or responsibility.. trying to come to terms with why I did not take these red flags into consideration 😢
I'm so sorry for what happened, may allah bless you with a loving caring spouse. Please try not to be so hard on yourself, the education were getting nowadays about red flags and what to look for is so much more common, you just didn't know any better
Sister what about salatul istikhara?
A sociopath type may present as almost perfect down to admitting his faults, but the Admission may represent a single percentage of his character and deeds. He frequents the mosque, prays fasts, he wears Muslim garments, grooms and grows that beard, tells you what you want to hear like hes an Actor with a Script, Set and Wardrobe.
Allah will expose his falsehood. There will be always something that'll come out wrong from that person. He might act but his actions will say otherwise, those won't always align.
Assalamu alaykum wa rahamatullah. May Allah bless you for your good content and all those clear information and advices you give us. BarakAllahu feek!
Since the video is about the intention, I have been speaking with a practising muslim man for 5 months and one of the questions I asked from the very beginning was what is his intention in speaking with me, and he said "serious intention for the purpose of marriage". I'm 27 and he's 28, we have different cultures and we live in different countries, so we got to know eachother through the phone and he contacted me. The thing is we have been speaking about lots of important matters so not about "what's your favourite colour" kind of questions, but I'm noticing that this month he is being less and less present. Us women notice time dedication and I'd want him to be more present. I let him know that, he apologized and said he understood what I mean, but the situation hasn't changed. What should I think about this lack of presence? By that I mean one or two texts during the whole day and a phone call in two weeks more or less. I made him understand that I understand one is busy when one is working, but during days off it should be different and he should be more present. I don't really know what to think about this lack of presence and communication lately, do you have any advice?
Oh and I'm praying my istikhara prayer and I hope Allah will guide me through all this. This lack of presence/communication may possibly mean Allah wants us not to be together, I'm starting to think that. JazakAllahu Khair for your time!
If he hangs out with friends too much is another red flag. My grandma force me to get engaged to a guy that has loads of pics of himself sharing a bed with his friends on trips they would take. One of his closest friends got upset that he was engaged with me. All of it was so suspicious. Also his niece was weirdly attached to him, she kept telling me her and her uncle looked like a couple 😣
Macha'Allah
Pure good sense. Did you marry, Nafisa?
Alslamalikom sister nafisa
Walaikumsalam
Ladiiies don't marry a man who "hates" people who do Daà'wah, i swear i was talking to someone saying "I don't feel comfortable listenning to them" 😱😱 and i was like okey that's already enough for me. NEXT.
I’m having the love bombing issue too much and I don’t believe it I wish I was not that pretty 💔
Alhiamdullah
**The red flags mentioned in the video**
1- If he’s pushing you for physical intimacy
2- If he’s bombarding you with too much love ( love bombing you)
3- If your intuition is telling something is wrong then trust your gut instinct and take your time in doing background checks on him
4- If he shows extreme jealousy (he will end up controlling you as he feels a sense of entitlement and you CANNOT change him so DON’T settle and be careful )
5- If he lies a lot (common lies include lying about their age, lying about their previous marriage and pretending to not have been married before. This will cause you to have trust issues)
6- If you’re doubting whether he’s marrying you for you or he’s trying to obtain spousal visa through you. Once he gets his “right to remain” residency permit then you will see his true colours
7- if you don’t know or you’ve never met his family. He’s hiding you for a reason and him not introducing you to his family says a lot about his intentions and what he thinks if you. Make sure you verify the family he introduces too
8- If he keeps bringing up convos about finances especially if you’re a women who is well established or you come from a wealthy background. This is a sign of him trying to use you for financial gain
as salaamu alaykum. Here in America the females are doing the exact same thing and then trying to keep it a secret.
Walaikumsalam
That would be wrong.
May Allah guide us all aright.
Thank you
God bless you