I am a grandfather, I love my two grandkids dearly. But I find myself getting realy angry at my boy, he is 4 but demands attention, when he doesnt get it, he has a meltdown. when I don't understand him he gets twice as mad. I do play with him when he comes to visit as i do with his 1 year old sister. He gets jealous of his sister, has a fit which triggers me. My concern is, he tells me his mom yells at him and makes him cry. i have heard his dad yell at his son like he is yelling at an adult. I confronted my daughter about their behavior and mine. She is very aware of how she reacts towards her son as well as her husband. The sad thing is, my grandson gets yelledat by 3 adulta and no telling if he gets yelled at by his other grandparents. I actually cried when he was here last, i dont like being yelled at, why should i yell at a 4-year-old who is 100% innocent. Since the incident, I have been looking for answers to my behavior and making sure my 4-year-old parent's look for help. it's sad to know my 4 year old gets yelled by both parents and his grandpa. I will work on my behavior for my little 4 year old. I am so glad I found this video and many others. Thank God there are beautiful people like you to share your time to teach us better ways to control ourselves.
I know this is a bit old. But, you are a blessing sir. I was so, stress I lost my job and trying to search for another is no issue. My little ones been around some crappy people most times. I'm a single mother with no help sadly. It's hard trying to do what I can when I have my little ones yell and don't listen when I have so much on me or mess up so much in the house or out. I yell and put them in time out. But, I want to spend time with them but, know it's not the right time for now and keeps getting the way to get where I need to go for them. Not just for me. I want to control my anger and I want to understand them more.
God this is sooooooo helpful....was dying out of guilt, shame and disappointment of my temper going crazy on my kids. I didn't know i had soooo much suppressed anger, and i am getting triggered every now n then..... I felt sooo lonely and such a loser as a mom of twins. Its such a relief to know there is a solution, there is a way out. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. ❤ to other moms who are struggling in this journey too. I think i will see this every morning till i get this into practice without reminder. ❤
me too because of shame and guilt you just want to disappear but i love my son so much and more than anything in this world that's why i want to do my best until i can see progress to his attitude hoping we could surpass all of this😢
We need our space sometimes and always want our little ones times too. I really want to help with my anger and I want them to also, learn as they get older too.
This helps because I was raised emotionally, verbally, and psychologically abused, so a lot of things are embedded in my brain...HOWEVER excuses are not allowed for how I continue my legacy with my own seeds! I really appreciate the accountability you speak on and your tips and get excited to get angry to try them if that makes any sense...in the moment I definitely feel helpless, knowing I want 8 more children, I have a 3 year old and am 37 weeks pregnant....I tell myself, “yea, and you want 8 more...” in the HEAT of a moment...but later on...I still do...call me crazy...I just want to carry my duties out of multiplication, love and happiness....💕 I’ll be looking for more videos so I can share and rehabilitate to my peers...it sucks to see other parents losing their sh*t...I allow it to hurt me...but knowing that I’m getting better and not flipping out strengthens me more and more and once I’m able to conquer my self, I’ll be able to help others, and/or at the same time...one step at a time!💕💕💕💕 thanks Junkie! I’m gonna go hug and kiss my baby now. (Her name is Promise)🤱🏽🤱🏽🤱🏽🤱🏽
Ah, my mom yelled at me my whole childhood, but she was really good about coming in qnd apologizing to me when she lost it. I'm working soooo hard to not yell but it is so hard!! I hope these tool will help me not to loose my sh*t cause I need all the help I can get lol 😆
I needed this. I am a single parent living with my mother...but I have a lot of trauma regarding my relationship with my mother and I see it leaking into my parenting (as well as her overstepping her boundaries) with my child and my parenting... I don't want to be like this... I have for a couple of weeks now wanted to stop, and have been struggling changing my reactions to my emotions because that is what she is learning and I need to show that outwardly as an example. Every Resource I have looked for, && this might be the best
I am also a single parent living with my family. I go back-and-forth between my mom‘s house and my dad‘s house so they can each get a break and also spend time with my daughter. I am trying to break generational cycles. It can be hard when I see my parents interacting with my daughter because I feel like I’m getting re-traumatized. The only thing I can do is work on my own actions.
My mother use to verbally and physically abuse me on a daily and I was so used to it I never learned any different I sis the exact same Things my mother did and that’s no excuse. Now I am in therapy and trying to learn how To control my anger sometimes it’s hard to do because of how I was raised and it was not a good feeling at all. I’m always had trouble dealing with my emotions and acted out as soon as something happen instead of thinking about it first I love my little girl I don’t want her to hate me like I did with my mother I needed to hear this video and I’m thankful for this video I can now put it to use from here on out thank yon so much
I have two daughters and man it’s hard parenting. I have been pretty strict with them and I get frustrated pretty easily. I catch myself yelling mostly to my oldest daughter which she is 5. After I yell at her she says “mommy is angry, I’m scared” it breaks my heart🥺. I feel like the worst mom ever and im not sure if there’s other moms like me or is it just me m😢. Thank you for this video I will be taking tips 🥺. I want to be a better mom.
@Peeress Ma'at yes! That’s how my daughter is but when I start showing her my sweet side she says “mommy is happy” and she starts jumping of happiness. A couple days ago a lady told me “us adults sometimes we forget we were kids once and that was us too” and honestly since then I’ve been more patient and haven’t been yelling at my daughter like I use too. It feels great! ❤️
Yes, I have this issue too really intensly when I'm pregnant. It's a hormonal thing. I literally go from 0 to 100 in the blink of an eye, and then right back to 0 a second later. Are you on anything hormonal? Certain time of month? Pregnant? Because generally, you should feel it coming.
I really appreciate this way of conceptualizing the feeling of anger and the tactics to avoid losing ones cool. My kids are 2, 3 and 3 and it's so HARD at times, especially when they are all shouting to be heard (and then I can't hear anyone). It makes me want to scream "Stopppp!". Noise is just so triggering for me :( Anyway, thank you!
My 4 year old daughter ignores then talks back or yells back when told what to do. Everything is a challenge or a power struggle. I often lose my patience and get angry with her so often that I feel like I spent the whole day yelling. Its tough when her baby brother is such a good boy and she is rebellious or jealous of him so I try to show her more love but I cant help but feel guilty. Going to try these tips thank you!
Thankyou for this video. I am disappointed because of my own anger. I used to show it to my 3 year old kid.. i dont know how can i change my anger. But here after i will really try to remember your words...
Wow! Great video!! So helpful!! Thank you for discussing this. :) I have two boys under 3 and the aggression I receive everyday (all day) can be extremely difficult. I always tell myself that this will pass and if I do the best I can they will pass from this to being super awesome adults one day. Also, I noticed praying with my kids helps keep their aggression lower towards me! Thank God. Lol 😂
One of my boys is a handful 24/7 from the moment he wakes up to bed time. With my job and tiredness it's very hard for me to keep cool. 😱🥺 He winds me up all day...
Most often I couldn't control my anger, and yell and even hit the child, however, today I came to know yelling and hitting, both of them does not work, cos I really get sad and repent after few moments to see him crying. He just dropped few tears and crying silentIy, I felt immensely pain and said sorry to my 4 years old son, Its no win situation 😂 from both ends. Thank you for your guidance.
Thank you!! This was very helpful!! I'm a hurricane like you mentioned and I'm really trying my best to stop exploding to my children and fail many times!! I really agree with your strategies and will try them out immediately! Also I love the part for apologies, that's what I already do with them and it teaches so much to them!! Thank you again!
Thankful for this video. I needed this today. I am still angry and will have to re watch later. Easy to miss things when you are upset. So I am going to calm down and watch again soon. Thanks again!
Battling with anger so bad. Been learning about myself, my personality and why I am this way and have found that with my personality type and architype, I have a very little tolerance for incompetence, my 4yo child is a very smart kid and a fast learner, when he struggles during tutoring basics over and over again i Struggle sooo bad trying to keep my cool. I erupt and instantly regret, and I do apologise and leave to find myself again. Oh it's hard.
Well worth the watch Right here. Thank you for your time and dedication to this subject. Thank you for the way you speak to us parents on the subject, allowing us to save face and keep our dignity while learning how to right wrongs and grow to prevent and care for our future roles in the responsibility for our adult tantrums and anger. God bless 🙏🏼
I lost my shit in 2014 tried real hard to recover from but in 2019 i went way over the red line all because of the my hurt and others added on like gang around me to reserve more abuse than nessery its not just those years its others as well you try to hel from it's not just physical but physiological trauma but some of us are made to take a few hits or two you just keep pushing forwards never looking backwards yesterday has been done be greatful of my and yours and others presence ❤
I used to be a very calm and patient person, but since having a baby.. I feel like I get overwhelmed and lose my temper really easily. My son is 1.5 now. Something I feel like I'm losing my mind with him, but overall he is a very good boy. The main issue I have with him is that when I try to do anything where I can't keep an eye on him. Like if I do dishes he'll go into the other room and play with stuff he's not supposed to have or climb furniture. When he is acting up or having a tantrum I try really hard to stay calm and try to meet his needs. Like I'll make sure he isn't hurt, try to feed him, check his butt, cuddles, trickles, or even dance with him. But if nothing works and he's just crying and hurting me I'll typically put him in his room for a while then walk away. Sometimes I'll growl with frustration afterwards and try to woosah. The best thing is when my husband is home and I start to feel overwhelmed. I'll ask him to take over and he will, but I can't leave the room or the baby will get super upset and just cry and bang at the door he saw me go through.
My two older boys were never challenging. My 3 year old on the other hand instantly screams and kicks when he gets upset. I get overwhelmed and so stressed out. I’m a stay at home dad since a year after Covid hit. I scream back at him I’ve tried timeout. Nothing seems to work. I wanna run away at times all I do is cry when I find myself alone.
I have told to my mother when we had arguments I don’t want to speak with her right now , and going to a different room , but her reaction is going after me and “forcing “ me to speak .. trying to make me feel bad , what is your advice on this situation ? Also I have speak about it when we were calm and her reply was , she needed answers and it wasn’t the right thing to go to my room or not reply right away because it make her angrier .. 👀
I get most triggered at her bed time. When she's running around naked, out of my reach. And I fear that she'd catch a cold. Be late for bed. Get sick. Also, that's the time when I'll be done for the day. But I can't be done if she doesn't sleep. But usually she's too sleepy to not be sleeping. So she SHOULD sleep quickly, but she doesn't settle. So I get angry.
I don't think you're alone Saba, bedtime is such a triggering time of day. Are there any routines you could implement/change so that bedtime isn't so overwhelming. Eg. Not giving a bath everyday (if you do) or starting the routine earlier in the evening? 💗
Wow. I wish I could apologize for the childish behavior on this thread. You are not alone. I have two young girls who are hippie wild ones and run around naked too lol. We have a Jack and Jill setup so I close doors so they have to fiddle with the door knob to get out. Gives me time to grab them and get them into bedtime clothes. My triggers are tantrums at bedtime when I’m exhausted from a 16 hour day. I grew up with my dad on meth and the garbage that came with it. I moved to a new town so middle school and high school was tough due to bullying. Then went into the military and had a horrible chain of command. Basically, it’s hard for me to have patience. Life isn’t perfect and it’s not always easy to properly regulate emotions. But, I’d say, try to make a game of getting into pajamas. With this time of the year, I use looking at the neighbors Christmas lights as a reason to get dressed so we can go outside quickly and look at the lights.
im here for this exact same thing... getting my 5 and 3 year old girls ready for bed when everyone is tired and frustrated and acting up and i lose my patients sometimes, tonight i yelled at the 5 year old who is a very sweet lovey type of girl and she got really sad and then that made her more sad so while we were laying in bed she kept crying over everything which was just frustrating me more. But it wasnt in a teaching way, I just just getting mad. Now I cant sleep thinking about what sort of a piece of shit am I to be yelling at my 5 year old girl who I love more than anything in the universe, who draws me pictures all day of how much she loves me :'(
Don't understand why she is out of your reach ? But the evening is definitely the hardest time for me too when I'm exhausted. The mornings are stressful too because we've to leave and the kids don't want to.
Single mother of two and I exploded on my children because I ask them to help me clean but they’ll just sit there and act like they’re cleaning. It drives me CRAZY. I repeat myself more than 10 times. I feel so bad after and I apologize. But I don’t want them thinking that just because I apologize it means my behavior is okay so I try to really work on it.
How do I get my husband to be on board with this?? He acts out on his anger.. and it’s the root of our parenting problems. I’m the gentle one, I always look for ways to “better parent” and he wants to raise our child the way he was..
Sometimes our husbands see things from a different perspective they are logical and practical while we mothers are more emotional so try and combine your emotions with his logic 😀it’s something I learned to do
Yes.. when they dont listening and always want to be heard instead of in taking wise words from and it makes me want to distant myself cause I'm not use to this behavior. I have always dislike it
I have tried to walk away from my 3yr old to catch my breath and calm down. This seems to upset him even more and I feel as if what I'm doing is making him feel rejected, abandoned or making my love for him conditional (like as if I don't love him when he hits, so I leave him) also, sometimes he breaks things etc. I don't know what yo do, his hitting makes me furious and if I try to talk to him he just bangs doors, hits and kicks things, all in anger, I don't know how to bring him to the point of release so he let's out the upset and calms down. He bottles it all up, gets crossed and then hurt. And he's only almost 3
I'm so angry all the time mostly when I'm trying to do everything at once fast and everything is getting in the way, my baby wants attention when I'm trying to do other things and mostly the noises she makes and so loud and consistent and she only listens to me when I'm yelling she laughs at me and ignores me when I'm calm ... The worst thing is she's not even 2 yet but I have become a solo parent for the past 2-3 months ... I just want to calm down I can't even remember the last time I was truly happy without having something bring me down
I’m feeling like I have only a very short window to change the trajectory of my relationship with my daughter 7 and 8 years old. I get very upset that I have to repeat myself as after as I do and I need to find another way. If you can help I’d appreciate it.
Single mom and I yelled this morning at my daughter because we discovered that she left her backpack at home after we made the 25 minute trip to her school because she was more worried about bringing a toy into the car than bringing her backpack. So we had to go back to get it and were an hour late to school. I yelled a lot. Not proud of it but there is a new rule. No toys in the car.
Thank you so much. God bless you for this video. Confession. I spanked my 2 years old yesterday and yelled a couple of times. I have 2 under 2 and yesterday got so off and I got so guilty. She is still at the age of putting everything in her mouth she pooped used it all over her including her hair after shower!!!! I went knot!!! I am scared I don't want to be a "crazy mom". It is so rewarding to be calm when they do kids stuff but I pray God gives me the strength.
For me it’s the messes. I’ll go to the bathroom and my toddlers are making the biggest mess possible. Once they got into my first babies ashes and spread them all over. It’s not fun or okay. They destroy things too, they’ve completely broken two laundry baskets and are trying on their third. I’m exhausted and too poor to be replacing thing all day everyday.
What makes me angry is that I cannot chase my kids. I'm HEAVILY pregnant and I just can't chase my 1.5 and 3 year old around anymore. If they start climbing something and my stress response turns on because if the danger, it's SOOO HAAAARD not to fly off the handle if they don't listen when I speak gently to get down or wtvr. It's always triggered by dangerous situations they get themselves into. Which makes me feel justified. But I wonder if it would cause less damage for them to fall off the bookshelf and onto the tile floor than to get yelled at and grabbed at by me in anger.
I find myself being so short tempered to my son..I tell him how annoying he is,tell him to just shut up or go to his room,if he does the smallest thing I loose it..I'm never physically with him but verbally I am abusive.i call him stupid or dumb and I hate it I try to control it but it's hard and it makes me so sad I want a good healthy relationship with my son😢 Pls help me
How old is your son? The second you start calling him annoying, stupid, dumb, or to shut up, you’re psychologically hurting him in the long run. If your son grows up thinking he’s annoying and stupid, he’ll develop depression and anxiety and may not want to live because his own self worth is getting stomped down by his own mother. He’s going to feel worthless. He’s going to grow up hating himself and that’s going to lead him into not being successful in life. The moment you get frustrated you need to walk into another room before lashing out like that. Before you blow up, think about the long term mental effects you’re setting your son up for. If you feel like yelling, start recording yourself on video so you can replay the screaming when you’re calmed down and listen to how hurtful you can be. Hearing your own self scream like that on video is going to be an eye opener to you. You may benefit from anger management courses
The tip about taking a few minutes to yourself and tell the child to play before you lash out doesn't work if you have to get out the door in the morning. That's the toughest time.
Hi I'm also a kind of parent who has a difficulty in handling may emotion mo's especially with anger emotion towards may two sons. I yells at them and even spank them whenever I'm angry I really gets angry easily at them
The guilt I feel after those outbursts drives me into depression. I really focus on the harm I’m doing to my children. I’m getting better at calming myself but it’s not liner.
This video made me cry. Please God make us all calm and good parents. Ameen.
I am a grandfather, I love my two grandkids dearly. But I find myself getting realy angry at my boy, he is 4 but demands attention, when he doesnt get it, he has a meltdown. when I don't understand him he gets twice as mad. I do play with him when he comes to visit as i do with his 1 year old sister. He gets jealous of his sister, has a fit which triggers me. My concern is, he tells me his mom yells at him and makes him cry. i have heard his dad yell at his son like he is yelling at an adult. I confronted my daughter about their behavior and mine. She is very aware of how she reacts towards her son as well as her husband. The sad thing is, my grandson gets yelledat by 3 adulta and no telling if he gets yelled at by his other grandparents. I actually cried when he was here last, i dont like being yelled at, why should i yell at a 4-year-old who is 100% innocent. Since the incident, I have been looking for answers to my behavior and making sure my 4-year-old parent's look for help. it's sad to know my 4 year old gets yelled by both parents and his grandpa. I will work on my behavior for my little 4 year old. I am so glad I found this video and many others. Thank God there are beautiful people like you to share your time to teach us better ways to control ourselves.
I know this is a bit old. But, you are a blessing sir. I was so, stress I lost my job and trying to search for another is no issue. My little ones been around some crappy people most times. I'm a single mother with no help sadly. It's hard trying to do what I can when I have my little ones yell and don't listen when I have so much on me or mess up so much in the house or out. I yell and put them in time out. But, I want to spend time with them but, know it's not the right time for now and keeps getting the way to get where I need to go for them. Not just for me. I want to control my anger and I want to understand them more.
God this is sooooooo helpful....was dying out of guilt, shame and disappointment of my temper going crazy on my kids. I didn't know i had soooo much suppressed anger, and i am getting triggered every now n then.....
I felt sooo lonely and such a loser as a mom of twins. Its such a relief to know there is a solution, there is a way out. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. ❤ to other moms who are struggling in this journey too.
I think i will see this every morning till i get this into practice without reminder.
❤
me too because of shame and guilt you just want to disappear but i love my son so much and more than anything in this world that's why i want to do my best until i can see progress to his attitude hoping we could surpass all of this😢
We need our space sometimes and always want our little ones times too. I really want to help with my anger and I want them to also, learn as they get older too.
1st Step: Stop ourselves.
2nd Step: Wait for the feelings to pass.
3rd Step: Express yourself.
I am new to gentle parenting and this video is so timely!! Praise YAHUAH!
Love your comment. Praise YHVH ❤
Finding it now… and couldn’t agree more. Praise YHWH!!
Heres the best parenting tips you will ever get but most are to ignorant to even listen th-cam.com/video/l5IwmtvzvTQ/w-d-xo.html
Same here ❤️
This helps because I was raised emotionally, verbally, and psychologically abused, so a lot of things are embedded in my brain...HOWEVER excuses are not allowed for how I continue my legacy with my own seeds! I really appreciate the accountability you speak on and your tips and get excited to get angry to try them if that makes any sense...in the moment I definitely feel helpless, knowing I want 8 more children, I have a 3 year old and am 37 weeks pregnant....I tell myself, “yea, and you want 8 more...” in the HEAT of a moment...but later on...I still do...call me crazy...I just want to carry my duties out of multiplication, love and happiness....💕 I’ll be looking for more videos so I can share and rehabilitate to my peers...it sucks to see other parents losing their sh*t...I allow it to hurt me...but knowing that I’m getting better and not flipping out strengthens me more and more and once I’m able to conquer my self, I’ll be able to help others, and/or at the same time...one step at a time!💕💕💕💕 thanks Junkie! I’m gonna go hug and kiss my baby now. (Her name is Promise)🤱🏽🤱🏽🤱🏽🤱🏽
this is really enlightening.
Ah, my mom yelled at me my whole childhood, but she was really good about coming in qnd apologizing to me when she lost it. I'm working soooo hard to not yell but it is so hard!! I hope these tool will help me not to loose my sh*t cause I need all the help I can get lol 😆
Heres the best parenting tips you will ever get but most are to ignorant to even listen th-cam.com/video/l5IwmtvzvTQ/w-d-xo.html
My kids drive me insane. Feeling overwhelmed being a single parent of two young boys.
I only have 1 so I can imagine your distress
I have one 2yr old toddler. I cant imagine wat u r going thru ...
I have two boys too. Both under 5. Stay strong 💪 I just lost it this morning & I'm drowning in guilt... again. 😔
Heres the best parenting tips you will ever get but most are to ignorant to even listen th-cam.com/video/l5IwmtvzvTQ/w-d-xo.html
Stay strong. We are all in this together
I needed this. I am a single parent living with my mother...but I have a lot of trauma regarding my relationship with my mother and I see it leaking into my parenting (as well as her overstepping her boundaries) with my child and my parenting... I don't want to be like this... I have for a couple of weeks now wanted to stop, and have been struggling changing my reactions to my emotions because that is what she is learning and I need to show that outwardly as an example. Every Resource I have looked for, && this might be the best
I am also a single parent living with my family. I go back-and-forth between my mom‘s house and my dad‘s house so they can each get a break and also spend time with my daughter. I am trying to break generational cycles. It can be hard when I see my parents interacting with my daughter because I feel like I’m getting re-traumatized. The only thing I can do is work on my own actions.
My mother use to verbally and physically abuse me on a daily and I was so used to it I never learned any different I sis the exact same
Things my mother did and that’s no excuse. Now I am in therapy and trying to learn how
To control my anger sometimes it’s hard to do because of how I was raised and it was not a good feeling at all. I’m always had trouble dealing with my emotions and acted out as soon as something happen instead of thinking about it first I love my little girl I don’t want her to hate me like I did with my mother I needed to hear this video and I’m thankful for this video I can now put it to use from here on out thank yon so much
I have two daughters and man it’s hard parenting. I have been pretty strict with them and I get frustrated pretty easily. I catch myself yelling mostly to my oldest daughter which she is 5. After I yell at her she says “mommy is angry, I’m scared” it breaks my heart🥺. I feel like the worst mom ever and im not sure if there’s other moms like me or is it just me m😢. Thank you for this video I will be taking tips 🥺. I want to be a better mom.
Yes Im guilty of my anger as well.
I think she always can do better.
Im working on being more patient and teach her instead losing my cool.
@Peeress Ma'at yes! That’s how my daughter is but when I start showing her my sweet side she says “mommy is happy” and she starts jumping of happiness. A couple days ago a lady told me “us adults sometimes we forget we were kids once and that was us too” and honestly since then I’ve been more patient and haven’t been yelling at my daughter like I use too. It feels great! ❤️
I snap so quickly I don’t get a chance to stop myself😫Help!!!
Breathe breathe breathe!!!
I have the same problem.
Same here it’s like I want to remove myself but it already happened
Yes, I have this issue too really intensly when I'm pregnant. It's a hormonal thing. I literally go from 0 to 100 in the blink of an eye, and then right back to 0 a second later. Are you on anything hormonal? Certain time of month? Pregnant? Because generally, you should feel it coming.
@@adararelgnel2695 I am not pregnant. I do take medicine for my thyroid plus I was always impulsive 😫
I really appreciate this way of conceptualizing the feeling of anger and the tactics to avoid losing ones cool. My kids are 2, 3 and 3 and it's so HARD at times, especially when they are all shouting to be heard (and then I can't hear anyone). It makes me want to scream "Stopppp!". Noise is just so triggering for me :( Anyway, thank you!
My 4 year old daughter ignores then talks back or yells back when told what to do. Everything is a challenge or a power struggle. I often lose my patience and get angry with her so often that I feel like I spent the whole day yelling. Its tough when her baby brother is such a good boy and she is rebellious or jealous of him so I try to show her more love but I cant help but feel guilty. Going to try these tips thank you!
Thankyou for this video. I am disappointed because of my own anger. I used to show it to my 3 year old kid.. i dont know how can i change my anger. But here after i will really try to remember your words...
Wow! Great video!! So helpful!! Thank you for discussing this. :) I have two boys under 3 and the aggression I receive everyday (all day) can be extremely difficult. I always tell myself that this will pass and if I do the best I can they will pass from this to being super awesome adults one day. Also, I noticed praying with my kids helps keep their aggression lower towards me! Thank God. Lol 😂
One of my boys is a handful 24/7 from the moment he wakes up to bed time. With my job and tiredness it's very hard for me to keep cool. 😱🥺 He winds me up all day...
Heres the best parenting tips you will ever get but most are to ignorant to even listen th-cam.com/video/l5IwmtvzvTQ/w-d-xo.html
Most often I couldn't control my anger, and yell and even hit the child, however, today I came to know yelling and hitting, both of them does not work, cos I really get sad and repent after few moments to see him crying. He just dropped few tears and crying silentIy, I felt immensely pain and said sorry to my 4 years old son, Its no win situation 😂 from both ends. Thank you for your guidance.
Thank you!! This was very helpful!! I'm a hurricane like you mentioned and I'm really trying my best to stop exploding to my children and fail many times!! I really agree with your strategies and will try them out immediately! Also I love the part for apologies, that's what I already do with them and it teaches so much to them!! Thank you again!
Thankful for this video. I needed this today. I am still angry and will have to re watch later. Easy to miss things when you are upset. So I am going to calm down and watch again soon. Thanks again!
Battling with anger so bad. Been learning about myself, my personality and why I am this way and have found that with my personality type and architype, I have a very little tolerance for incompetence, my 4yo child is a very smart kid and a fast learner, when he struggles during tutoring basics over and over again i Struggle sooo bad trying to keep my cool. I erupt and instantly regret, and I do apologise and leave to find myself again. Oh it's hard.
Well worth the watch Right here. Thank you for your time and dedication to this subject. Thank you for the way you speak to us parents on the subject, allowing us to save face and keep our dignity while learning how to right wrongs and grow to prevent and care for our future roles in the responsibility for our adult tantrums and anger.
God bless 🙏🏼
I lost my shit in 2014 tried real hard to recover from but in 2019 i went way over the red line all because of the my hurt and others added on like gang around me to reserve more abuse than nessery its not just those years its others as well you try to hel from it's not just physical but physiological trauma but some of us are made to take a few hits or two you just keep pushing forwards never looking backwards yesterday has been done be greatful of my and yours and others presence ❤
I used to be a very calm and patient person, but since having a baby.. I feel like I get overwhelmed and lose my temper really easily. My son is 1.5 now. Something I feel like I'm losing my mind with him, but overall he is a very good boy. The main issue I have with him is that when I try to do anything where I can't keep an eye on him. Like if I do dishes he'll go into the other room and play with stuff he's not supposed to have or climb furniture.
When he is acting up or having a tantrum I try really hard to stay calm and try to meet his needs. Like I'll make sure he isn't hurt, try to feed him, check his butt, cuddles, trickles, or even dance with him. But if nothing works and he's just crying and hurting me I'll typically put him in his room for a while then walk away. Sometimes I'll growl with frustration afterwards and try to woosah.
The best thing is when my husband is home and I start to feel overwhelmed. I'll ask him to take over and he will, but I can't leave the room or the baby will get super upset and just cry and bang at the door he saw me go through.
My two older boys were never challenging. My 3 year old on the other hand instantly screams and kicks when he gets upset. I get overwhelmed and so stressed out. I’m a stay at home dad since a year after Covid hit. I scream back at him I’ve tried timeout. Nothing seems to work. I wanna run away at times all I do is cry when I find myself alone.
Your not alone Michael. Hope things get easier. Keep the head up. Things can only get better
Thank you so much for this! It helped me see things from a different perspective. Love it !!
How do I undo the harm I have done? That’s the worst part. I want to better but it doesn’t happen every time
Love.
me too how to undone the damage that i have done to my son i feel guilty and i just want to disappear 😢
Thank you soo much. This was very helpful and will definitely try these beautiful strategies
We are basically at the mercy of how our kids decide to behave. This video didn’t change that, for me at least.
I have told to my mother when we had arguments I don’t want to speak with her right now , and going to a different room , but her reaction is going after me and “forcing “ me to speak .. trying to make me feel bad , what is your advice on this situation ?
Also I have speak about it when we were calm and her reply was , she needed answers and it wasn’t the right thing to go to my room or not reply right away because it make her angrier .. 👀
I get most triggered at her bed time. When she's running around naked, out of my reach. And I fear that she'd catch a cold. Be late for bed. Get sick. Also, that's the time when I'll be done for the day. But I can't be done if she doesn't sleep. But usually she's too sleepy to not be sleeping. So she SHOULD sleep quickly, but she doesn't settle. So I get angry.
I don't think you're alone Saba, bedtime is such a triggering time of day. Are there any routines you could implement/change so that bedtime isn't so overwhelming. Eg. Not giving a bath everyday (if you do) or starting the routine earlier in the evening? 💗
@@elliea8868 which is why she and the rest of us are here to learn , and get support from a hopeful safe space
Wow. I wish I could apologize for the childish behavior on this thread. You are not alone. I have two young girls who are hippie wild ones and run around naked too lol. We have a Jack and Jill setup so I close doors so they have to fiddle with the door knob to get out. Gives me time to grab them and get them into bedtime clothes. My triggers are tantrums at bedtime when I’m exhausted from a 16 hour day. I grew up with my dad on meth and the garbage that came with it. I moved to a new town so middle school and high school was tough due to bullying. Then went into the military and had a horrible chain of command. Basically, it’s hard for me to have patience. Life isn’t perfect and it’s not always easy to properly regulate emotions. But, I’d say, try to make a game of getting into pajamas. With this time of the year, I use looking at the neighbors Christmas lights as a reason to get dressed so we can go outside quickly and look at the lights.
im here for this exact same thing... getting my 5 and 3 year old girls ready for bed when everyone is tired and frustrated and acting up and i lose my patients sometimes, tonight i yelled at the 5 year old who is a very sweet lovey type of girl and she got really sad and then that made her more sad so while we were laying in bed she kept crying over everything which was just frustrating me more. But it wasnt in a teaching way, I just just getting mad. Now I cant sleep thinking about what sort of a piece of shit am I to be yelling at my 5 year old girl who I love more than anything in the universe, who draws me pictures all day of how much she loves me :'(
Don't understand why she is out of your reach ? But the evening is definitely the hardest time for me too when I'm exhausted. The mornings are stressful too because we've to leave and the kids don't want to.
Am crying I need help....
Single mother of two and I exploded on my children because I ask them to help me clean but they’ll just sit there and act like they’re cleaning. It drives me CRAZY. I repeat myself more than 10 times. I feel so bad after and I apologize. But I don’t want them thinking that just because I apologize it means my behavior is okay so I try to really work on it.
Beautiful summary ❤
I’m CRYING because it’s finally clicking and I want it to work
How do we fix the toxic words that we have taken out on the young kids?
Awesome video ❤
This is all great advice but how do I get my son to take the nap he needs???
How do I get my husband to be on board with this?? He acts out on his anger.. and it’s the root of our parenting problems. I’m the gentle one, I always look for ways to “better parent” and he wants to raise our child the way he was..
Sometimes our husbands see things from a different perspective they are logical and practical while we mothers are more emotional so try and combine your emotions with his logic 😀it’s something I learned to do
Yes.. when they dont listening and always want to be heard instead of in taking wise words from and it makes me want to distant myself cause I'm not use to this behavior. I have always dislike it
I have tried to walk away from my 3yr old to catch my breath and calm down. This seems to upset him even more and I feel as if what I'm doing is making him feel rejected, abandoned or making my love for him conditional (like as if I don't love him when he hits, so I leave him) also, sometimes he breaks things etc. I don't know what yo do, his hitting makes me furious and if I try to talk to him he just bangs doors, hits and kicks things, all in anger, I don't know how to bring him to the point of release so he let's out the upset and calms down. He bottles it all up, gets crossed and then hurt. And he's only almost 3
Thanks again avital
I get most angry when kids make mess every 5 minutes just yesterday my daughter shit on the floor I had walk out my home I was so angry
When my best friend was trying to potty train her son; he hugged her leg and shit on her foot.
@@jackiet7970 omgggggg so funny Jesus needed this
Ha ha ha ahhhh.... this is so funny thank you x much needed
@@jackiet7970 omg.
I'm so angry all the time mostly when I'm trying to do everything at once fast and everything is getting in the way, my baby wants attention when I'm trying to do other things and mostly the noises she makes and so loud and consistent and she only listens to me when I'm yelling she laughs at me and ignores me when I'm calm ... The worst thing is she's not even 2 yet but I have become a solo parent for the past 2-3 months ... I just want to calm down I can't even remember the last time I was truly happy without having something bring me down
I don't have time to do hobbies
Give yourself permission to take a break . It’s ok to have your baby wait you are no good if you are tired and upset. Take a break
I’m feeling like I have only a very short window to change the trajectory of my relationship with my daughter 7 and 8 years old. I get very upset that I have to repeat myself as after as I do and I need to find another way. If you can help I’d appreciate it.
well we do not ever want to resent our kids. I am learning how to have emotional intelligence.
I made my mom what this. I love u so much ❤❤
Single mom and I yelled this morning at my daughter because we discovered that she left her backpack at home after we made the 25 minute trip to her school because she was more worried about bringing a toy into the car than bringing her backpack. So we had to go back to get it and were an hour late to school. I yelled a lot. Not proud of it but there is a new rule. No toys in the car.
Thank you so much. God bless you for this video.
Confession. I spanked my 2 years old yesterday and yelled a couple of times. I have 2 under 2 and yesterday got so off and I got so guilty. She is still at the age of putting everything in her mouth she pooped used it all over her including her hair after shower!!!! I went knot!!!
I am scared I don't want to be a "crazy mom". It is so rewarding to be calm when they do kids stuff but I pray God gives me the strength.
For me it’s the messes. I’ll go to the bathroom and my toddlers are making the biggest mess possible. Once they got into my first babies ashes and spread them all over. It’s not fun or okay. They destroy things too, they’ve completely broken two laundry baskets and are trying on their third. I’m exhausted and too poor to be replacing thing all day everyday.
What makes me angry is that I cannot chase my kids. I'm HEAVILY pregnant and I just can't chase my 1.5 and 3 year old around anymore. If they start climbing something and my stress response turns on because if the danger, it's SOOO HAAAARD not to fly off the handle if they don't listen when I speak gently to get down or wtvr. It's always triggered by dangerous situations they get themselves into. Which makes me feel justified. But I wonder if it would cause less damage for them to fall off the bookshelf and onto the tile floor than to get yelled at and grabbed at by me in anger.
Thanks so much for the advice. Really needed it as the feeling I got at time is like a pressure cooker at KFC with multitude of demands.
Holy moly i like this
I find myself being so short tempered to my son..I tell him how annoying he is,tell him to just shut up or go to his room,if he does the smallest thing I loose it..I'm never physically with him but verbally I am abusive.i call him stupid or dumb and I hate it I try to control it but it's hard and it makes me so sad I want a good healthy relationship with my son😢
Pls help me
How old is your son? The second you start calling him annoying, stupid, dumb, or to shut up, you’re psychologically hurting him in the long run. If your son grows up thinking he’s annoying and stupid, he’ll develop depression and anxiety and may not want to live because his own self worth is getting stomped down by his own mother. He’s going to feel worthless. He’s going to grow up hating himself and that’s going to lead him into not being successful in life. The moment you get frustrated you need to walk into another room before lashing out like that. Before you blow up, think about the long term mental effects you’re setting your son up for. If you feel like yelling, start recording yourself on video so you can replay the screaming when you’re calmed down and listen to how hurtful you can be. Hearing your own self scream like that on video is going to be an eye opener to you. You may benefit from anger management courses
I have taken this in for anytime I get upset. I’m the hurricane and I don’t want to be anymore.
The tip about taking a few minutes to yourself and tell the child to play before you lash out doesn't work if you have to get out the door in the morning. That's the toughest time.
Im so guilty feeling for not being able to control my feelings
What if your toddler isn’t talking yet? It’s a wee bit difficult if you can’t have a conversation with your child yet
❤️
No I disagree, I don't wake up being angry internally, someone has to make me mad in order for me to get mad.
I like no one is responsible for your emotional reaction but you
Hi I'm also a kind of parent who has a difficulty in handling may emotion mo's especially with anger emotion towards may two sons.
I yells at them and even spank them whenever I'm angry
I really gets angry easily at them
I tell my son I need to go calm down and he starts talking back…..that triggers me even more
Try disengaging until you calm down
The guilt I feel after those outbursts drives me into depression. I really focus on the harm I’m doing to my children. I’m getting better at calming myself but it’s not liner.
The guilt that I have afterwards just makes me feel even more bad as a parent and eats me alive...
We all make mistakes just pick yourself up and start again
Currently. I’m up at 3 am. I just feel horrible
Feeling quilty too. But kids need us. We have to stay strong for them.
Beautiful women always have anger issues.