😢 I hate that I’ve experienced this first hand. It upset me to no end that he only started doing the absolute most once he could feel me truly pulling away which made me turn away more because it showed that he could’ve done the things I wanted and he knew what I wanted the whole time and just didn’t care to.😔
@@jibarabicha4853 YES! Like why bother being in a relationship if your intention is to put in as little effort as possible?! Just do nothing and stay single then! I still don’t get it but I really value these videos letting me know that it’s not just my experience and I’m not crazy or overreacting
"Without the anxiety, it won't be exciting" I think you digged some gold here. We need to learn how to combine excitement with calmness. To feel a high level of excitement in the relaxed state (like meditate on excitement" or something like that..) is the next challenge!
This all sounds like attachments however and not secure love. It's the game-playing that happens when starting relationships where you feel insecure. A secure relationship surely doesn't require to act inauthentically. Because that's what this is, not being real.
now i get what he means when he says this message goes over peoples heads. he literally says you don’t have to try hard and to be yourself to me that doesn’t sound like game playing. he’s literally saying be authentic show your emotions through your subtle action and have the tough conversations. the vulnerable conversations that deepen a connection. like…ya.
Thank you. This dude is either knowingly or unknowingly spreading insecure attachment to impressionable people. I hope they’re able to see through the bs.
I am going through this right now and he’s is speaking facts on facts. Mentally checked out, and note he’s warm got sure. Thanks father Alex for your insight 🫶🏾
Father Alex, you cannot imagine how I needed to listen to it, bcs i left i man I love, i rejected myself the quick enjoyment and chose anxiety for us both
Yeah no, males need women. But we women need ourselves. We dont need anyone. We want to he ourseleves. When you are soul and not ego u dont need anyone.
I am in a 4 month NC right now. Emotional inconsistencies aren’t as strong as they used to be so I am out there talking to new people. While being out there I definitely feel more hypersensitive with the validation and questioning if I even like a person as person. Having the conversations I genuinely enjoy but, can tell I’m anxious thinking about new people. I have to question myself if I am really into this new person or am I just feeling needy. Love your video! Thank you. My take away is “dont give a f “ till I get further along on my emotional work. 😂
I don't know. If someone needs me, that's grounds for manipulation and toxic possessiveness. It might seem cute in the honey moon stages. But many men see you as an object to possess and if they get to that point of needing you then ever leaving them is a dangerous game. I've been through it and you see it on the news and irl all the time. Id rather a man just want me, and still feel secure by himself. I think thats a level of maturity a lot of men never achieve.
Great video and thank you for your insight, it reminded me of your old wicked vids (miss them though) but now i can see you're becoming more mature and mindful
Question: I can see someone with an anxious attachment doing more when someone pulls away. What about the avoidant though? I've had avoidants react by going silent.... then maybe finally reaching out much much later. I think there might be different reactions to feeling insecure....
i agree too..i wouldnt be able to bite back and tell them not to use my tissues. i'd think his reaction is abit too much and wud naturally keep away after that
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
This explains so much. I’ve put my bf (now fiancé) through the worst, my girlfriends even thought he was leaving me, but he still takes care of everything for me and proposed 5 months into dating😂.
Sucker for validation? But we women are busy and I feel like sometimes it takes too much energy to play this game. It sucks the life out of you unless you realize what’s going on. That leads me to another question, if you are a sucker for validation, once you get married and have children or not have children, the wife isn’t going to be giving the same amount of validation as she did in the beginning or “honeymoon stage” then what? You will seek validation somewhere else. 🤨🧐
Wouldn't the second type of insecurity you described also lead to cheating, mindgames and manipulation? It does sound like anxious attachment and thank goodness that could be rectified overtime by becoming a secure attachment, but in the process of that, if left unchecked could still be harmful to the relationship. What happens if they are two working individuals and one of them have to travel for work. Most likely the person with the anxious attachment would try to fill that void with someone else. Subsequently, they would keep people in the background "for fear" of the relationship not working out which realistically means they were cheating the entire relationship.
You’ve always been good looking but there’s something different about you Alex. It’s like you’ve fine tuned your signature look and you’ve hit a sweet spot
Tell me you guys didn't watch the video without telling me you didn't watch the video because I clearly talked about that in the first minute and I even said how people were literally say what you guys are saying
I'm not reacting to your comment. I'm reacting to the other ones. Because I clearly talked about the difference between attacking people just to make them feeling secure and the sense of insecurity that arises from love
Alex, you have an unhealthy obsession with comparisons to black guys. Lol. Just an observation. Maybe it is something you need to heal? For example, you could have said, "Maybe you usuallly date tall guys and your current boyfriend is short." Go within...
He said long time ago that from where's his coming from black men are considered the biggest representation of masculinity (or something along those lines). Take the knowledge and don't try to psychoanalyse people ffs
😢 I hate that I’ve experienced this first hand. It upset me to no end that he only started doing the absolute most once he could feel me truly pulling away which made me turn away more because it showed that he could’ve done the things I wanted and he knew what I wanted the whole time and just didn’t care to.😔
Ughhh, why are they like this? And the strategy really comes out when it’s too late. What’s the point when we don’t want them anymore…smh
@@jibarabicha4853 YES! Like why bother being in a relationship if your intention is to put in as little effort as possible?! Just do nothing and stay single then! I still don’t get it but I really value these videos letting me know that it’s not just my experience and I’m not crazy or overreacting
This.
Im currently doing it because im tired of being taken for granted. He wanted to see my bad side so i triggered all his insecurities and left.
Loool Good Job!!
😂😂
"Without the anxiety, it won't be exciting" I think you digged some gold here. We need to learn how to combine excitement with calmness. To feel a high level of excitement in the relaxed state (like meditate on excitement" or something like that..) is the next challenge!
This all sounds like attachments however and not secure love. It's the game-playing that happens when starting relationships where you feel insecure. A secure relationship surely doesn't require to act inauthentically. Because that's what this is, not being real.
THIS 💯💯💯💯
now i get what he means when he says this message goes over peoples heads. he literally says you don’t have to try hard and to be yourself to me that doesn’t sound like game playing. he’s literally saying be authentic show your emotions through your subtle action and have the tough conversations. the vulnerable conversations that deepen a connection. like…ya.
Thank you. This dude is either knowingly or unknowingly spreading insecure attachment to impressionable people. I hope they’re able to see through the bs.
I am going through this right now and he’s is speaking facts on facts. Mentally checked out, and note he’s warm got sure. Thanks father Alex for your insight 🫶🏾
Father Alex, you cannot imagine how I needed to listen to it, bcs i left i man I love, i rejected myself the quick enjoyment and chose anxiety for us both
Yeah no, males need women. But we women need ourselves. We dont need anyone. We want to he ourseleves. When you are soul and not ego u dont need anyone.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Honesty is the best policy
I am in a 4 month NC right now. Emotional inconsistencies aren’t as strong as they used to be so I am out there talking to new people. While being out there I definitely feel more hypersensitive with the validation and questioning if I even like a person as person. Having the conversations I genuinely enjoy but, can tell I’m anxious thinking about new people. I have to question myself if I am really into this new person or am I just feeling needy. Love your video! Thank you. My take away is “dont give a f “ till I get further along on my emotional work. 😂
Your face is really beautiful dude
are you flirting with Father Alex? 🤔
@@wandafragasanchezdelacampa3546😂😂😂
😂😂😂@@wandafragasanchezdelacampa3546
😹😹😹😹😹 ahahaha omg so funny, they're torally flirting!!!! back offffff he's mine jkjkjkjk 😹😹🤣🤣🤣🫠🫠🫠
@@nadinemiranda um no he is mine bitch💀😊
I don't know. If someone needs me, that's grounds for manipulation and toxic possessiveness. It might seem cute in the honey moon stages. But many men see you as an object to possess and if they get to that point of needing you then ever leaving them is a dangerous game. I've been through it and you see it on the news and irl all the time. Id rather a man just want me, and still feel secure by himself. I think thats a level of maturity a lot of men never achieve.
That’s the first insecurity he mentioned that it is toxic, I think he means be stingy with your love if they not acting right
Great video and thank you for your insight, it reminded me of your old wicked vids (miss them though) but now i can see you're becoming more mature and mindful
Your intelligence is helpful
I love your videos Alex. You are so so good and your expressions are so cute😍♥️
Love this video ❤the insecurities I felt for a man I love was fuel to birth my poetry book 📕 it is indeed very thrilling
Love your hair
💯💯💯💯💯💯Making us wiser n wiser
This video was deep, thank you for sharing 🙏🏼
Question: I can see someone with an anxious attachment doing more when someone pulls away. What about the avoidant though? I've had avoidants react by going silent.... then maybe finally reaching out much much later. I think there might be different reactions to feeling insecure....
i agree too..i wouldnt be able to bite back and tell them not to use my tissues. i'd think his reaction is abit too much and wud naturally keep away after that
Bob the programmer 😂
Or bob the truck driver
Plot twist: we can only love ourselves.
Alex changed my whole dating approach.. i be telling my GFs they better listen to my big brother 😂
I call Rob Greene My Uncle Bobby
Attachment issues more likely.
but is it love if it evokes insecurity, or a need for validation?
What if he reacts to my coldness with aggressively tries to make me jealous?
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is chamani White, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Why is it when a man is cheating he will accuse his partner of cheating and still be jealous.
Just found you today! 🙏🏻
This explains so much. I’ve put my bf (now fiancé) through the worst, my girlfriends even thought he was leaving me, but he still takes care of everything for me and proposed 5 months into dating😂.
Whoa wow girl
He is anxious attachment
Unless he planning on a grand finale… ( payback, laugh now cry later. 😭
Thwy first d3finition of disrespect 2as everything for me 🙌
I love Father Alex University lol came here to get advice on a crush...and accidentally became a more self-actualized human
I love Your channel ❤
another excellent video. 😅
Now she’s dating “Bob the programmer” 😂
I want to call his job and tell HR that he smokes weed. He's so evil now I'm pissed lol
That’s petty if you do that… just leave… 🙄
@@whiteliner2253 Yeah I definitely look left
@@babydii3487 good…
Sucker for validation? But we women are busy and I feel like sometimes it takes too much energy to play this game. It sucks the life out of you unless you realize what’s going on. That leads me to another question, if you are a sucker for validation, once you get married and have children or not have children, the wife isn’t going to be giving the same amount of validation as she did in the beginning or “honeymoon stage” then what? You will seek validation somewhere else. 🤨🧐
He should hide his preferences from me or at least not tell me verbally Lol.
Can you do a video no contact?
Wouldn't the second type of insecurity you described also lead to cheating, mindgames and manipulation?
It does sound like anxious attachment and thank goodness that could be rectified overtime by becoming a secure attachment, but in the process of that, if left unchecked could still be harmful to the relationship.
What happens if they are two working individuals and one of them have to travel for work. Most likely the person with the anxious attachment would try to fill that void with someone else. Subsequently, they would keep people in the background "for fear" of the relationship not working out which realistically means they were cheating the entire relationship.
Not doing all that bs, come healed or don’t come at all.
You’ve always been good looking but there’s something different about you Alex. It’s like you’ve fine tuned your signature look and you’ve hit a sweet spot
It's the pineapple hairdo
🍍@@MsAldil
How to make them feel insecure?
Why would you want to do that??? Insecurity is not good it’s dangerous
@saltandpepperandmint right it causes domestic violence to deliberately make a man feel insecure
Tell me you guys didn't watch the video without telling me you didn't watch the video because I clearly talked about that in the first minute and I even said how people were literally say what you guys are saying
@@MindfulAttraction2.0 I asked it before watching it
I'm not reacting to your comment. I'm reacting to the other ones. Because I clearly talked about the difference between attacking people just to make them feeling secure and the sense of insecurity that arises from love
❤
Alex, you have an unhealthy obsession with comparisons to black guys. Lol. Just an observation. Maybe it is something you need to heal? For example, you could have said, "Maybe you usuallly date tall guys and your current boyfriend is short." Go within...
He said long time ago that from where's his coming from black men are considered the biggest representation of masculinity (or something along those lines). Take the knowledge and don't try to psychoanalyse people ffs
I don't know, it just doesn't sound right. I'll stick with the black guys lol
He said what he said. And he IS s Black guy (Afro latin)
I agree - as a black women it encourages negative tropes. He can be black and still participate in harmful stereotypes.
🤯
Lol
It’s about time to get an haircut 💇dude
Sry bro i like my own insanity sry
I love your videos Alex. You are so so good and your expressions are so cute😍♥️