Omg I had this - it was actually homophobic as well! It was like “god cares if you’re gay and it’s not right” or something, it made me very uncomfortable
I was given a teen girls bible as a kid (not the one in the video) and it mostly just talked about loving god, caring for yourself, fulfilling your god given path as a wife and child bearer, and abstinence till marriage. Lots of abstinence talk.
like damn bruh Gods gonna make me commit cannibalism just bc my shirt is made of polyester and cotton even though he literally says that murder is bad..... aight then
The only bible I've (British, not bible belt) ever read bits of was in a hotel room. I vaguely remember writing aggressively athiest things in it and putting it back inside the bedside table. I was 7.
@@davisvinson5299 Eh not really I rather laugfh at charles darwin for being a satanist/freemsason yet trying to sell made up theories while not believing in them himself.
6:14 reminds me of when i talked about what I now consider as "autistic obsessions" (which is all perfectly normal and valid) in confession and the priest said I was "substituting god" 🥴🥴
If you haven't done it already (I'm relatively new to your channel so if you did this already, my bad), I'd love a behind-the-scenes video showing the equipment you use to make it and the process of editing. I love seeing filming setups and stuff like that.... those kinds of videos from creators are always cool to watch imo
I’m a Christian, and the first time I read the Bible I had a nervous breakdown. It really is more brutal than the human mind can comprehend. But I believed what it was saying about Hell, so I’ve been doing my best to stay out of there. Here’s a quote from Jesus to brighten your day: “Don’t fear men, who can merely kill your body. Instead, fear God, who can kill both your body and soul in Hell. Fear Him.”
I'm glad I found this. I had this book as a kid. I can't remember if my mom or my grandma bought it for me but I read it one time and it sat collecting dust for years
yk i was in a cult for a while and our preacher used always say that god and satans places were swapped in the old testiment so i mean he mightve been right???
Sorta I learnt in my study that Satan rules the earth and God rules the hevens. The book of revelations is essentially God taking the world back from the devil.
I definitely appreciate you specifying Christianity (versus religion in general) throughout. Good shit. I’m so used to atheists/agnostics throwing Judaism under the bus by just referring to ‘organized religion’, and you didn’t, and that’s fucking awesome to see. I think the only change I’d suggest is giving context about the old testament sections. In the standard King James Revised bible, the old testament is the result of translations from Hebrew to Aramaic to Greek to Latin (to German I think?) to English. That’s usually worth mentioning, because it’s basically a different text than the standard Torah. The more you look into ACTUAL jewish texts, the more cool they are, i swear. Analysis and interpretation of the Torah and related texts are usually considered part of their written canon (the Talmud and Midrash).
My goodness. 1 for the content, my dude your awesome and 2 wtf was that book? At the end of the day your god, cuz if anyone of a religious inclination takes offense simply ask for their forgiveness. Kind of like a get out of jail free card.
Jesus was a schizophrenic who believed he was the son of God. He heard voices claiming it was God who was talking to him, he thought he can cure people, he believed he could walk on water as if he was a floating object. But yet people still believed him. "Do not idolize false God's ". This why I think Bob Marley is a God, he sang about people's struggles, how they were tortured and butured when they didn't listen to their masters, he praised peace and love. Kurt Cobain used to hang out with the gays because they were bullied, a thing that Christians frown apon. These false preachers think they can change thr world by preaching a book written by man, but they take the poor man's money and they live off the sin that they preach against.
can we talk about the misogyny in this book? calling periods (normal body function) unclean, says the he will greatly increase the pain of childbirth and that the husband rules over the wife. sounds like garbage.
“Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman, that is detestable”. Well yeah, obviously. I’d lie with a man the way I’d lie with a man, not a woman. There’s nuance there.
As a Christian I gotta say, this Bible has good design. Shame that nothing is clear of the trend of pointlessly gendering things. I still use my 10yo Bible that's rainforest themed, with adventure maps of ancient landscapes as they were in that time, notes on how different cultures worked, and thicker fully coloured pages with wildlife paintings. But it'll never beat the one I always wanted: the Action Bible, which is basically a comic/manga version of the whole Bible that takes advantage of the cooler/darker stuff in it. Also I'm glad that even reading now, my Bible had notes that were as objective as possible for my child self (i.e. "Some interpret this verse _this_ way, & others _that_ way" "Scholars differ on what this vision means" "These are a few sects in Christianity" "How did you treat ppl different than you with love this week?"). While you can definitely smell the right-wing vibes from the book in this video.
Christians: God loves all! :) Also Christians just because someone wore mixed fabrics: 3:27 Also 5:08 I can think of one: the finger (Disclaimer: I know not all Christians are like that, I’m talking about the extremist ones lol)
i came for the jokes about religion, i stayed for princess asmr
I had a girls bible and trust me it was sexist as hell
Maybe "as hell" was not the right wording
I wanna know how, tell me lol-
Hail Lilith.
Feeling like hell would be less sexist tbh
Omg I had this - it was actually homophobic as well! It was like “god cares if you’re gay and it’s not right” or something, it made me very uncomfortable
He can take my cattle, but not the cattle decapitation shirt.
not gonna lie I'm kinda curious about that girls bible.
I was given a teen girls bible as a kid (not the one in the video) and it mostly just talked about loving god, caring for yourself, fulfilling your god given path as a wife and child bearer, and abstinence till marriage. Lots of abstinence talk.
*has flashback to That's Cringe:Girl Defined*
@@cyclopeluigi4922 ee. ew. ogh. man. if only u knew
like damn bruh Gods gonna make me commit cannibalism just bc my shirt is made of polyester and cotton even though he literally says that murder is bad..... aight then
The only bible I've (British, not bible belt) ever read bits of was in a hotel room. I vaguely remember writing aggressively athiest things in it and putting it back inside the bedside table. I was 7.
as you should
As someone with Autism I guess I'm going to hell because I have a mental defect. Guess I'm not good enough for God.
crust "not my cattle" bag, you've done it again you mad genius
As a Christian I must say this is an atrocious recreation of the Bible. You are completely justified in laughing at this.
PS you’re justified laughing at any version of the Bible but this one is extra bad
@@davisvinson5299 Eh not really I rather laugfh at charles darwin for being a satanist/freemsason yet trying to sell made up theories while not believing in them himself.
One of my classmates called jesus "the magical jewish zombie"
Was binging your videos and I feel blessed with the drop of this one. Maybe there is a god after all 🙏🏽💯
6:14 reminds me of when i talked about what I now consider as "autistic obsessions" (which is all perfectly normal and valid) in confession and the priest said I was "substituting god" 🥴🥴
"Rack up points"
What?? Was this book written during the 1980s????
Please review the girls bible
I thought about it! But I figured it would be more fun if a girl reviewed it instead of me haha
I had this exact bible when I was a kid and we would do bible study every night before bed for like a few weeks thanks for the throwback lol
You're hilarious dude. Keep up the good work 🙌
If you haven't done it already (I'm relatively new to your channel so if you did this already, my bad), I'd love a behind-the-scenes video showing the equipment you use to make it and the process of editing. I love seeing filming setups and stuff like that.... those kinds of videos from creators are always cool to watch imo
I’m a Christian, and the first time I read the Bible I had a nervous breakdown. It really is more brutal than the human mind can comprehend. But I believed what it was saying about Hell, so I’ve been doing my best to stay out of there. Here’s a quote from Jesus to brighten your day: “Don’t fear men, who can merely kill your body. Instead, fear God, who can kill both your body and soul in Hell. Fear Him.”
That’s a terrible way to live. If you need hell to motivate you to be a good person, than you’re not a good person
sounds like god is actually satan
I HAD THIS BOOK AS A KID I THINK MY GRANDPARENTS GOT IT FOR ME
YO BI CRUSTBAG????
im not at all super hyped by this...
I'm glad I found this. I had this book as a kid. I can't remember if my mom or my grandma bought it for me but I read it one time and it sat collecting dust for years
yk i was in a cult for a while and our preacher used always say that god and satans places were swapped in the old testiment so i mean he mightve been right???
Sorta I learnt in my study that Satan rules the earth and God rules the hevens. The book of revelations is essentially God taking the world back from the devil.
I mean hell looking kinda more chill than heaven
You triggered terrible flashbacks with this.
I definitely appreciate you specifying Christianity (versus religion in general) throughout. Good shit. I’m so used to atheists/agnostics throwing Judaism under the bus by just referring to ‘organized religion’, and you didn’t, and that’s fucking awesome to see.
I think the only change I’d suggest is giving context about the old testament sections. In the standard King James Revised bible, the old testament is the result of translations from Hebrew to Aramaic to Greek to Latin (to German I think?) to English. That’s usually worth mentioning, because it’s basically a different text than the standard Torah.
The more you look into ACTUAL jewish texts, the more cool they are, i swear. Analysis and interpretation of the Torah and related texts are usually considered part of their written canon (the Talmud and Midrash).
Thanks for the cackle with cover. Now onto rest of video.
Indeed if your ever seen those Jehovas witness books. That stuff is...looney.
Oh shit me and crustbag have a matching tattoo. How adorable.
NOT MY CATTLE
My goodness. 1 for the content, my dude your awesome and 2 wtf was that book?
At the end of the day your god, cuz if anyone of a religious inclination takes offense simply ask for their forgiveness. Kind of like a get out of jail free card.
had this exact book
took one look in it one day
now it's probably sold off to some other poor kid
PLease make a video for the girls bible
3:03 I feel like god would like her for certain reasons
I love ur vids hhahahahaha
🤣
Omfg my brother had that exact bible as a kid and I remember being so jealous lol
The disappointment of not finding that onlyfans page :'( funny as fuck video tho
Jesus… why is capitalism not against the Ten Commandments?
He already did that 3:34
Dude I used to own this Bible
gotcha this 🤚🏻 🌈
Now review the action Bible
Jesus was a schizophrenic who believed he was the son of God. He heard voices claiming it was God who was talking to him, he thought he can cure people, he believed he could walk on water as if he was a floating object. But yet people still believed him.
"Do not idolize false God's ". This why I think Bob Marley is a God, he sang about people's struggles, how they were tortured and butured when they didn't listen to their masters, he praised peace and love. Kurt Cobain used to hang out with the gays because they were bullied, a thing that Christians frown apon. These false preachers think they can change thr world by preaching a book written by man, but they take the poor man's money and they live off the sin that they preach against.
Its “catholics” that like a inappropriate age group.
The way God is described in this "bible for boys" (wtf?), he would fit perfect into a death metal band
I mean it’s literally not different than the Old Testament.
can we talk about the misogyny in this book? calling periods (normal body function) unclean, says the he will greatly increase the pain of childbirth and that the husband rules over the wife. sounds like garbage.
Am I too old to be making passive aggressive jokes about religion? Probably lol, but who cares! It's all in good fun, enjoy the video guys! ❤️
You are never too old to mock the church.
im christian and i can agree that the church sucks
“Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman, that is detestable”.
Well yeah, obviously. I’d lie with a man the way I’d lie with a man, not a woman. There’s nuance there.
The punishment for sinning could be metal lyrics
I was exactly thinking that
I was raised Christian and I find this video hilarious lol (btw I'm an atheist now)
This video has big Morel Orel vibes and I'm here for it.
I want to buy the teen gal bible, read it and then burn it in a rainbow cloak while chanting Sappho's poems
the way i’m spiritual but not religious makes this video mmm mmm good
You made my day again!! You put so much effort in your videos! I appreciate your content! ✨🎶
idk why religion isnt canceled but jacksepticeye was attempted to be canceled because he used a font on twitter for comedic effect.
As a Christian I gotta say, this Bible has good design. Shame that nothing is clear of the trend of pointlessly gendering things.
I still use my 10yo Bible that's rainforest themed, with adventure maps of ancient landscapes as they were in that time, notes on how different cultures worked, and thicker fully coloured pages with wildlife paintings. But it'll never beat the one I always wanted: the Action Bible, which is basically a comic/manga version of the whole Bible that takes advantage of the cooler/darker stuff in it.
Also I'm glad that even reading now, my Bible had notes that were as objective as possible for my child self (i.e. "Some interpret this verse _this_ way, & others _that_ way" "Scholars differ on what this vision means" "These are a few sects in Christianity" "How did you treat ppl different than you with love this week?"). While you can definitely smell the right-wing vibes from the book in this video.
n o t m y c a t t l e
I don’t have anything to say I’m just commenting to boost this in the algorithm
The section about wild animals eating your children and the ground and sky being unreasonably hot, is just Australia.
Your cat purring at the end of the video, so wholesome.
Hell bois rise up
Funny do Islam next
I add cheese too my burger because blasphemy tastes so good!
Oh fuck, this is giving me Catholic School flashbacks.
Princess ASMR was gold.
HOLY SHIT I HAD ONE OF THESE!
not to be dramatic but i'd die for princess
Christians: God loves all! :)
Also Christians just because someone wore mixed fabrics: 3:27
Also 5:08 I can think of one: the finger
(Disclaimer: I know not all Christians are like that, I’m talking about the extremist ones lol)
New crustbag video 🥵🥵🥵🥵😈
I'm not a Christian either dude
That’s a fucking sick sweater thingie. Band name?
Oh gosh! Anything but my cattle!
Cults are fun
Oh no not jezuz