As someone who was tricked into a relationship with someone much older than me, thank you for protecting that girl and keeping him from making advances.
@@faboulousdiamzwhen the age gap is that large, the younger person doesn’t know they’re being groomed. The older person is not only more mature with more life experiences, but their brain is fundamentally more developed than the younger person, causing a huge power dynamic.
@ they didn’t tell me their real identity online for years. When we met they used the fact that they were a tiny bit famous in their corner of the internet and other grooming tactics. Yes i was technically over the age of 18 but they knew me online since i was freshly 19 and used the same tactics. They convinced me everyone in my life was toxic and I needed to cut them off. That they were the only person I was safe with. So I moved across the country to them. Once I was isolated and dependent on them they started talking about how “hot” it was that I was so young and started to become abusive the more I became dependent on them. I had no friends or financial options to leave. Because they were my first I never realized sex wasn’t supposed to hurt. Or I was meant to be turned on. I never was attracted to them. They were kind to me in a world where not many people were. They promised to “take care” of me when the only parent who didn’t abuse me just died and I felt trapped and alone. I found a journal before I left. One they yelled at me for finding. In it they wrote about their fantasies for starting a cult and having young followers whose mind they could mold into being their perfect partners. That’s how you get tricked. I was easy to manipulate because my abusive parent had manipulated me my whole life to convince me I was worthless, and any worth I had was only to appease and make happy my abuser. So when someone seemed like a safe escape, I took it. I didn’t know there was any other way to live until people showed me genuine kindness and a way out. That I didn’t need to break and bend my whole personality and every moment of my time to take care of my abuser. By the time I found that journal I was financially dependent, and also got my health insurance through that partner and chronically ill so I needed health care. That and I loved their child I helped raised for years. I had no legal right as a caretaker and knew she would be alone with their abuse if I left. That’s how I was tricked. I had no safety, they promised the first love and safety in my life. They lied.
So. As a general rule of thumb. This is not how polyamory or open marriages should work. There should always, without a doubt. Be an open communication between all partners. Your primary partner should know about every other partner you are with or will go out with and vise-versa. That's how you ensure no one feels like the side piece or is unaware of the situation. The moment a partner purposefully hides what they are doing with someone else, it is cheating.
as a rule of thumb is stupid. if you are going to act like you are single what was the point of getting married? or being in a committed relationship? if you want to act like a single man or woman stay single and do what you want
@@ogieoglethorpe3788ok, so, polyamory is a thing, and this person who u are very rudely “correcting” is correct. If you are in a relationship we’re both parties agree to these terms as in, they both agree to let each other sleep with other people WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED that’s how polyamory works, it’s not your dating multiple people it’s the fact that some people are just naturally sexually curious and need different things with different people every once and awhile but don’t want to cheat this is their option, it’s not the fact of they wonna fck around and do whatever it’s the fact of they want a relationship with someone they love and trust and care about but these people who are just life flings don’t really mean much, and that may sound harsh, but you make that clear to the person you sleep with, if they do not agree to your terms find someone else, and as long as you and your partner agree to those terms than it is none of your god damn business on what they fckin do
@@DarkShadowStudiosYT1 ok, so, polyamory is a thing, and this person who u are very rudely "correcting" is correct. If you are in a relationship we're both parties agree to these terms as in, they both agree to let each other sleep with other people WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED that's how polyamory works, it's not your dating multiple people it's the fact that some people are just naturally sexually curious and need different things with different people every once and awhile but don't want to cheat this is their option, it's not the fact of they wonna fok around and do whatever it's the fact of they want a relationship with someone they love and trust and care about but these people who are just life flings don't really mean much, and that may sound harsh, but you make that clear to the person you sleep with, if they do not agree to your terms find someone else, and as long as you and your partner agree to those terms than it is none of your god damn business on what they fokin do
@@ogieoglethorpe3788people who are polyam dont act single. im poly, two partners, and i quite often brag about my partners to people im also interested in. quite a few of my exes also dated another one of my partners, usually while dating me and meeting them separately.
This ain't even a polyamory, this is an open relationship. Polyamory: romantic relationship between 3 or more people, where all of the persons on the relationship know and like eachother. Open relationship: romantic relationship where all the people in the relationship can have s*x with people outside of the relationship WHILE the other person knows about it.
Tho in poly relationships they all do have to know each other, they don't have to like each other like that, two people dating one, but not dating each other would still be polyamory. Key difference is the dating part, these people are part of the relationship, while in an open marrige it's hookups(? on the side with your partner's consent basically
As someone who is Polyamorous, this is true in some cases. There are two types of polyamorous relationships: the circle (everyone is dating everyone and likes each other romantically) and the tree/snowflake (this is a relationship where two or more people are dating one person but not each other.) The main difference between polyamorous relationships and open relationships is communication. In polyamorous relationships, you sit down and talk things out "I want to bring this person in our relationship, is that okay?" "Yes but here are some boundaries I have." In an open relationship, it's mainly sexual and hardly ever romantic.
well, actually that's not the only kind of polyamory. it can also just be people dating more than one person, like a polycule. they may not all know each other. they often aren't all dating each other. but they all know about each other, and it's consensual, and there is communication. and honestly, an open relationship is a type of polyamory. there's several types.
It doesn't matter if she's an adult, he was in his 30 wanting to have sęx with a new adult, someone who was 11 years younger, someone who could have been his child
Not polyamory, I'm poly with my partner, so let me explain a few qna's Q. What's the difference between an open relationship, swingers, and poly? A. Polyamory has something called a polycule where there's a main couple and side couples. It's pretty safe as everyone knows everyone elses sex life, and everyone is usually clean and tested. An open marriage is very much less safe, but communication is key, this usuallyhappenswhen one partneris poly but the other isn't and can be abused, nothing should be hidden, swingers usually throw parties with new partners every night, but once again, both partners are aware of everything going on Q. Is it ok for someone to spring on you that they are poly after you've been dating a while? A. NO, this is something that should be first or second date. Springing it on your partner after you've been dating for a month or two is a huge red flag Q. My partner is poly, but I'm not. I really like them and don't want to break up. What are my next steps? A. First, you should determine if you're ok with the thoughts of your partner hooking up with other people. Then you should have a talk, are you the main partner or the side? What rules should be implemented? And do you think you or him should be regularly std tested Q. At what point is it poly or cheating? What's the difference between the two? A. It becomes cheating the moment they hide things or deceive you if they get a new partner and don't mention it right away or if they say they're at work when they're really with someone else, this is not poly it is deception and you should reevaluate your relationship, the difference is poly is consintual with ALL parties, the side, the first S/O, and the second S/O should all be in the know and no one should be in the dark. I'm willing to answer more questions, please just ask
From how you described a polycule they generally have their own partners im the polycule. What is ot called when everyone in a group is dating each other? For example 3, 4 or 5 people who are all together?
Why is there a need of more than one partner? We humans are genetically "social Monogamous with polygamous tendencies" and these tendencies are basically evolution instincts To spread the gene and increase the count but now we dont need that so why not settle for just one partner? Man woman doesnt matter, just why Why not commitment to your one and only?
@@IronManFan-gj8ov humans are pack animals, for one. so, while some people can thrive in monogamy, others cannot. two, there is no 'gene' that determines whether youll be polyamorous or not, just like theres no gene that determines whether youll be monogamous. three, polygamous is when someone (usually a man) has multiple spouses, its not the same as polyamory- polyamory is just dating more than one person. why do people cheat?
As someone who was groomed by a much older polyamorous couple when I was fresh out of hs, thank you for protecting that girl. What happened to me has scarred me in all aspects of my life, and I wish there had been someone like you looking out for me back then.
Oh no baby girl that wasn't polyamory, that was him. We don't do that. We do not mess with children, ever, EVER. POLYAMORY IS FOR GROWN FOLKS. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. That's disgusting.
@cami1031 are you speaking from experience, or just speaking what you think is the truth? because this isnt polyamory, and most polyam relationships dont like cheating as much as any mono couple would. you arent poly because you want to cheat, and you saying that proves you dont know what youre talking abt tbh
On the animal level, it’s instinctive to want lots of sexual partners and for each partner to only be with us. You have to choose to sacrifice either the “lots of partners” part OR the “partners only bang me” part for love to work.
@@anonhere4021am i tweaking or are u kinda making it sound like having one partner is a lesser thing compared to multiple/cheating. Idk man i think having one person who should presumably be the love of your life exclusive to u and only “bang” u would be heaven for most people
@@JeffreyjkKlein still a teenager, you're putting legality over morality. Just because it's legal doesn't mean it's right. What is illegal tho? Sexual coercion. He could absolutely be charged for that.
This isn't polyamory! This is an open relationship! Polyamory is when 3 or more people are in a closed relationship. There are boundaries, so stuff like this doesn't happen.
This is why you take a background check on the person you were dating double check he doesn’t have anything nefarious going on and then the guy after a year or two and if he thinks about polyamory, it means he’s wanting to cheat on you, but in a polyamory, you can’t cheat because you’re able to be with other people pick your men better women
@@lucasmartin3509 small note, you CAN cheat in a proper polyamory, relationships like the one portrayed here arent really polyamory, its just whats used (poorly) by a spouse as a pass to get with others. ive been in polyam relationships where i and others have been cheated on before, and the "dont ask" rule generally isnt a thing in most relationships lol
@@ihavenonameforyou1 except you are committed, and there shouldnt be any undiscussed 'sleeping around'. all of my partners know who im dating and having sexual OR romantic relations with, and i know who theyre having relations with. when they start hiding who theyre going out with or messaging, then that crosses the line over into cheating, just like in a monogamous relationship. sure, im not married to my partners (never plan to be, really bc none of us really want to do it outside of maybe for tax reasons), but i still call my boyfriends as my boyfriends, and my girlfriend as my girlfriend. 🤷
@@ihavenonameforyou1 most times poly relationships are 3 or more people who date exclusively, for example 3 people who date eachother and no one else, if one of them went out of their way and took a 4th person out and did not inform any of the 3 partners that is cheating, so it can happen. Open relationship is not the same as polyamory
@@grayross3137 if this is all youre hearing abt polyam relationships, then youre not hearing what actual polyamory is, i fear. coming from a person who is polyam, this is nothing what its like lol
That is because most cheaters stain the actual meaning of polyamorous people. Polyamory is feeling attraction for more than one person, there are poly couple that have agreed to stay together because they are all poly. I do not recommend being in a poly relationship if you're not it yourself, it can cause emotional distress, but if you do, please set very clear rules and boundaries like most do. Examples are: You need to know the third person before a physical relationship starts, your partner needs to wear protection at all times, open communication always, weekly std tests for your and their own safety, you need to know their location so you can get them if the date goes south, etc. There are multiple types of relationships like that. I suggest educating yourself with open-minded articles or talking with actual poly people.
i do not see how polyamory or open relationships can ever be anything but disgusting and abusive. if anyone ever suggested that to me, we are done on the spot.
@@Touay. because this isnt what polyamory really is. im in a 4+ years long polyam relationship now, and its quite literally been the best few relationships ive ever been in. sure, we've had a few bad apples, but just like any other relationship, its been dealt with civilly and like adults. theres no major age gaps, no cheating, no lack of trust, just thoughtful conversation, open communication, and not a lot of sex. hell, i have a few partners that ive never even had sexual relations with, its just purely romantic interest. and, even with the few partners that i do have sexual interests in, its very uncommon anything happens besides a little raunchy makeouts before bed. we're all adults, we know how to communicate like adults, and we all know how to be open about our issues with one another and how to deal with said issues like civil adults. ive seen so many monogamous relationships struggle with the basic concept of communication, its really unnerving tbh that two adults cant just sit down and talk through things.
I'm still open to polyamory, but my girlfriend wanted to have an open relationship. I was uncomfortable, but she gaslit me into believing that this was just her, and not to judge (Were both LGBTQ+ so support is a hard topic) She ended up adding one of our friends. When I asked her when we wanted to talk to him about affection and such she said that only she would be dating him, not us. It made me sick, and wildly depressed. Eventually we broke up because she didn't like my gender fluidity I still don't mind polyamory, but I will never go without boundaries again
There needs to be awareness of that stuff, younger than middle school cuz I be hearing stories of 7yos being manipulated into this sh*t. Maybe this needs to be covered as early as possible because 7 is crazy.
Nah, that is your thinking and thus your problem, they are a grown ass adult and can make whetever decisions they want Also good god, drop this age gap bs, if they are both adults then there is no problem
@ShyPineapple777 yes, it's ok, they are both adults and thus can do whatever they want. The only reason that yall think it's a problem is bc yall want to infantilize grown adults and act as if they are stupid. If by 18 you can drive, vote, drink in most countries and even start an OF or literally die for your country, then they can decide to date whoever they want
@@matheusrubimdepaoli5409but it is a problem in this case because she said no and was uncomfortable and he still tried to change her mind through his wife grown ass adult is one thing but consent is a whole another thing!
me and my husband are both polyamorus, but after awhile of being poly and both of us having terrible experiences with our other partners, we decided to be monogamous. before meeting him i was already in a relationship, and that boyfriend ended up being abusive and then broke up with me, and after so many uphappy relationships... i just decided i personally didnt want to be with anyone but him, but was fine with him dating others. shortly after we got together, he met someone else and they were together for a little bit, but they were being emotionally manipulative, so they broke up. and after that he met another guy and they were together for awhile, but he S/A'ed my husband, so my husband broke up with him. and after that he decided he wanted to just be with me too. we have discussed it, and im the future this could change, but likely will not. this is the happiest and healthiest relationship either one of us have ever been in, so we are more than okay with not being involved with anyone else.
I, while yes I am not entitled to anyone’s love or attention, felt left out, I was in a relationship with someone who said they wanted two partners, me and their other partner, then they said that they never said that when they added more people to the relationship, I was forced to date another person, neither of us wanted to date each other and we are still friends, but my partner would tell me they could talk or something came up but in reality they were just leaving me out, I ended ip doing something wrong, not don’t to state what but I regret it, and the partner started trying when they realized I was already half way out the door, we broke up before a year
Oooooo. Fun. Poly stories time. Was with this one guy for months before he came to me and explained he was poly and asked if I’d be open to us having another partner. I explained to him my rules (I knew what poly was and what I wanted at the time), that whomever he picked had to love both him and me, I believe this is triangle poly? I have more rules now because of this story but that was my only one at the time. Anyway. He picks out a friend of his, a choice I wouldn’t have accepted now. This friend, he was already in love with my then boyfriend, another red flag, as it should’ve began with developing that feeling for us both. Well. They start talking behind my back and hanging out without me, which would have been fine if it was just a “We like this thing and we know you don’t so we’ll just go do it ourselves.” This partner proceeded to talk down to me all the time, act as if I was the villain, a third wheel in their relationship. They wouldn’t let me be affectionate toward our partner when they were around and any conversations with them about it led to them saying they hated me and would never love me (didn’t even get the one demand I had) and my partner telling me that I had to give them more time and that’s just how they were and that I was being dramatic about it all by asking them to love me so quickly. I was constantly jealous and felt left out of my own relationship, made to feel like a monster for simply existing around them. I eventually gave up and left, I think it had taken this new partner threatening me and being just genuinely a bully for me to leave. I understand that not all poly is like this and that the person I got stuck with was awful. That I should’ve never even been made to feel jealous, but I’ve not gotten over what they did and how awful they made every day feel. They scared me out of ever doing poly again and because of them I now have a whole “If you want poly that’s up to you but they have to meet this whole laundry list of criteria” spiel that I’ve given partners since, and nobody’s taken me up on it so. Nice.
@StereotypicalJesus first red flag was him waiting to tell you he was polyam, instead of telling you that before yall started dating:/ im so sorry you went through that, ive been through something similar (was already poly and so was my partner, but the guy she wanted wasnt), so i get how you feel:(
I was in a polyamery relationship, and when i found out i was pregnant, the girl we were with wanted to be pregnant as well. After a few months, i ended it with her and gave my bf an ultimatum. Then i ended it with my ex because he was still seeing her after i had our daughter.
I do not understand this behaviour. If you're wanting to "explore" with others and the passion between you has waned... then just end the relationship? Why not just break up?
For me it was them forgetting our anniversary to hang out with their other partner who theyd been with for less than ¼ of the time we had been together
For those unsure about the difference of open & poly: Open relationships & polyamory are very different. Yes the idea is the same but open relationships need a lot more trust and talk. Poly relationships are people who date others while with someone, It can vary from partner A dating Partner B and partner b is dating partner C or all 3 dating. Theres closed poly and opened. my opinion on their situation: This is a open relationship. Also she shouldve done more digging to check if he was talking to any younger people as the comment about being a first for a girl was kinda concerning. If he was so willing to do it with a 19 yr old im sure hed feel some sort of excuse to do it with a 18 or 17 yr old.
If a marriage is already being open the relationship is already dead because unsatisfaction is already a sign of a bad relationship plus how would you have kids because it would feel wrong so yeah
thw thing is, this isn’t polyamory.. polyamory/REAL open relationships should either start out open or become open with the idea/consent of both parties..
So what I understood, it's not exactly a polyamorous relationship. Polyamory is: A loves B and C, B loves A and C, C loves A and B But in the relationship in the video, A loves B and C, but B and C don't have a relationship or love each other, it is not a triangle, it is an angle.
Open communication is so important. I was poly for a while, urged to be so by a guy I wanted so desperately to be with. Promised we’d tell each other who we were seeing and when we had sex with someone new. I had 2 other partners who were always lovely and honest. The guy I was so in love with ended up breaking our rules, cheated on me for who knows how long, and gave me an STI. He exposed me and my other partners because he couldn’t be honest with who he was seeing and tossed me aside to be someone else’s boyfriend. I’m still working through the trauma. My other two partners are fine. One is one of my best friends, and the other is my fiancé and the best person in the world for me (and we’re monogamous).
remember! As a polyamous person, DONT FORCE SOMEONE TO BE IN A OPEN RELATIONSHIP. The WHOLE point of polyamory is the fact that you have multiple consenting partners that all love each other.
To be brief, I know of one very successful mmf throuple. Both dudes are bisexual and it all just works really well for them. Polyamory doesn't always mean open polyamory. These three are exclusive to each other only
Polyamory and open marriage is in my opinion disguting , as soon as it starts in most case it ends badly, and if you want to sleep with others but still be with your partner you're just delusional i would run as soon as my partner say that.
Seeing I have 14 and 10 years together... I am curious what your personal experience is with dating in general and polyamory is. Because a lot of people are just judging from a far. And I am very much aware I and most people I know that are poly are not telling friends and family because of the judgement. Eventhough they have been in happily commited relationships for a long time. PS. this video is a terrible depiction.
Its a life choice all of these videos do paint it in a bad light as the partners usually get forced into it polyamory and open marriages is something that most definitely doesn’t work for alot of people but some just need a open relationship for a variety of reasons same this polyamory its a complicated thing please do more research its not just “wanting to fuck more people”
It is very harsh for me to hear "discusting" when I know we are a loving, harmonious and happy. And I don't get why. For example: I find spousal abuse and controlling behavior discusting and toxic. These are traits not limited to any type of relationship or even outside of one.
yeah.... no, it works. ive been in a polyam relationship for upwards of 4 years now, and its the best relationship ive ever been in. its mostly non-sexual, mind you, so its not like we're just sleeping around either, its primarily romantic with sexual tones maybe once every few weeks or so. it works just fine, as long as you know what you want out of the relationship and know how to deal with jealousy, communication, misunderstandings, etc.
@@gghoulish-fun I'm not saying it can't work. But no one with a sane mind would even try to make it work. Just saying and I'm a Muslim saying that, that's important because our religion allows men to have up to 4 wives.
Polyamory has always existed through human societies, and is more prevelant in Asian then Western countries. If u just want to be a d*ck, pick a different reason
Polyamory has always existed through human societies, and is more prevelant in Asian then Western countries. If u just want to be a d*ck, pick a different reason
I'm only on my second relationship and I straight up told my ex and my current gf that if you bring up that you want a poly relationship it's over, I have massive anxiety and can't take stuff like that but thankfully so far my girlfriends have been somewhat anxious too
This is NOT how partnered polyamory should be. I can understand a minimal info basis for like, solo-poly. But even as an aromantic I still like to know baseline info about other relationships and share info about mine. People who want to be 100% quiet about it are suspicious
Yeah, I'm poly myself and anytime I go from single to having a partner it's something I tell them about in the first month of us dating. Polyamory is a huge deal breaker for a lot of people, so I get it out of the way quickly so we don't waste our time. To wait until your partner can't easily leave to tell them is definitely a red flag.
@ anyone can do as they please, We all have free will, but bc the brain is not fully mature at age and is not the brain of an adult they set the age of consent to 21, no one will do anything of high school students decided to experiment, we have sex ed at a young age too so we know wat it is, but most of us also prefer to wait till we’re 21 or older, bc we like to focus on other things while growing up
@introverted_gremlin Well brains development depends on the individual its goes from mid to late twenties and for most all development won't stop until they are thirty. So the age Set on 21 and using brain development as argument is bad arguments on itself as brains aren't fully Developed then not even close(PS: 90% of the brain is developed by year 5 meaning the last 10% development span another 2 decades at earliest still) So by that logic age of consent should be 30. If thats the age of consent high schoolers exploring should be punished.
@ very true, we are taught that but most still prefer it to b 21 (some might have different reasons than others) My dad’s reason to me was that it felt like there was no pressure to fit into a social norm, u had the choice to experience that if u wanted even if u were not 21 and would not b punished for it, that’s why they teach way it is, the risks, how to avoid things u don’t want like stds infection pregnancy etc from the age of 8 (which is a bit old since our anatomy, language and stats courses start in the 1st grade) so if u do want to u’ll know what to do, but u didn’t hve to if u didn’t want to, u could never do it if u wished, or wtv, (so technically the 21 thing is probably only on paper and id say we dont have one at all we just prefer it for some reason)
@@introverted_gremlin fair I guess Personally just think age of consent should be earlier as age when you can enlist in military service or forced to go as some countries have it as mandatory. As if your are mature mentally and physically to die and kill for your country you are easily past the maturity to decide If you want sleep around or not.
Personally I have polyamory my mom forced it on my dad and they would be on dates constantly and would forget about me and my sister. Thankfully I had a job to buy food for us.
Yeahh, I dont have anything against polyamorous people, but I am stricktly momogamous. What can I say, I dont wanna have to share someone while they dont have to share me.
Polyamory isn’t the same as an open relationship btw Polyamory is when more than 2 people are in a relationship together! There are healthy polyamory relationships
Correct me if I’m wrong (genuinely - I’m not polyamorous, so I’m not 100% sure about all of it), but that’s not polygamy. That’s an open relationship. Polygamy is a closed relationship with multiple people. (Again, tell me if that’s incorrect, I’d rather be told I’m saying the wrong thing so I can correct myself and know better in the future than continue making a fool of myself)
I kind of stumbled into the poly relationship when I was in high school. I'm not the jealous type, so I didn't really care what was going on. I agreed to join the relationships, but one of them got jealous of the closeness I had to both partners. He killed the vibe (got jealous because I was "making out with his girl") and the trio became a duo. The girl found another girlfriend that I didn't like very much so I left as well.
he's just using the word polyamory or whatever he calls it to look for other girls without him being called a cheater and still keeping you. that is just selfish.
That isn't how being poly works, that's just called an open relationship, being poly is adding a 3rd person that both people already in the relationship are attracted to and want to date and having all 3 of you date.
Poly wasn't for me. I was 17 turning 18 in 2 months, I had just graduated high school and I was somehow manipulated into a relationship with a girl let's call her ruby for privacy sake who was 16 turning 17 in a month (I only realized I was tricked after I ended things) she wanted to make me happy since I was bisexual so we went poly. But when we found a guy I liked, she would get upset, end things with the guy, then drag me to a new guy and repeat. I was getting dragged guy from guy, I was tired and emotionally tired. Then we met this guy, just turned 19 that month, who we will call jason for privacy reasons and he was the sweetest. I told him how tired I was with being dragged from guy to guy and he stayed for my sake. Ruby was tiring, I would go to therapy and when I would get back I would tell them what I spoke about, then ruby would make an issue out of nowhere and it was our job to make things better, she was a narcissistic and a gold digger who would spend the pocket money I had that I took out from my paycheck. So Jason and I were talking about we both were emotionally exhausted and we both suspected was that Ruby was cheating which turns out she was. So we broke up with her. Jason got me out of the relationship and I have been with him ever since but due to our bad experience we decided that poly wasn't for us. We're now engaged.
Well.. yeah? The point of why cheating hurts is because it betrays your trust. If there's consent and open communication, it isn't betrayal. It varies for everyone. This also isn't polyamory, just an open marriage. Polyamory relationships are more developed and communicated by everyone. This is just flings. (Before anyone calls me woke, slurs, or tells me to kms I don't have a soild opinion on polyamory, I'm going by definitions, so leave me alone.)
There's often this trend with men and women choosing partners Women tend to pick men around their own age often someone who's a bit older but still within their age range Men just want girls below 25 no matter how old they themselves get, this whole idea of virginity made some men turn into these predators who find the girl's painful feeling of hymen breaking to be something to be proud of. When did making girls experience pain become something that makes a man manly?
I know a low life that openly makes s•xual comments about his daughters and nieces. Yet his wife just looks the other way and lets it happen. Wife was abducted by him when she was 13. Stockholm syndrome to the max. So vile…..so very very vile.
@p0pp4 its a pedophilic/predator mindset, some men are seriously attracted to taking a young girl's virginity because its like, yknow.. taking a kid's first time, which is fucking awful
I think it's a power thing. My old preacher used to say that "stealing" a woman's virginity gave a man power, and so it was a greedy thing to do. He was a huge creep, so I imagine creeps like him have a similar mindset
As someone who was tricked into a relationship with someone much older than me, thank you for protecting that girl and keeping him from making advances.
This is really out of genuine curiosity, Not judging you at all, can you explain to me how you can be "tricked" in a relationship with anyone?
@@faboulousdiamzwhen the age gap is that large, the younger person doesn’t know they’re being groomed. The older person is not only more mature with more life experiences, but their brain is fundamentally more developed than the younger person, causing a huge power dynamic.
No one tricked you. Youre just a moron.
same girl
@ they didn’t tell me their real identity online for years. When we met they used the fact that they were a tiny bit famous in their corner of the internet and other grooming tactics. Yes i was technically over the age of 18 but they knew me online since i was freshly 19 and used the same tactics. They convinced me everyone in my life was toxic and I needed to cut them off. That they were the only person I was safe with. So I moved across the country to them. Once I was isolated and dependent on them they started talking about how “hot” it was that I was so young and started to become abusive the more I became dependent on them. I had no friends or financial options to leave. Because they were my first I never realized sex wasn’t supposed to hurt. Or I was meant to be turned on. I never was attracted to them. They were kind to me in a world where not many people were. They promised to “take care” of me when the only parent who didn’t abuse me just died and I felt trapped and alone. I found a journal before I left. One they yelled at me for finding. In it they wrote about their fantasies for starting a cult and having young followers whose mind they could mold into being their perfect partners. That’s how you get tricked. I was easy to manipulate because my abusive parent had manipulated me my whole life to convince me I was worthless, and any worth I had was only to appease and make happy my abuser. So when someone seemed like a safe escape, I took it. I didn’t know there was any other way to live until people showed me genuine kindness and a way out. That I didn’t need to break and bend my whole personality and every moment of my time to take care of my abuser. By the time I found that journal I was financially dependent, and also got my health insurance through that partner and chronically ill so I needed health care. That and I loved their child I helped raised for years. I had no legal right as a caretaker and knew she would be alone with their abuse if I left. That’s how I was tricked. I had no safety, they promised the first love and safety in my life. They lied.
So. As a general rule of thumb. This is not how polyamory or open marriages should work. There should always, without a doubt. Be an open communication between all partners. Your primary partner should know about every other partner you are with or will go out with and vise-versa. That's how you ensure no one feels like the side piece or is unaware of the situation. The moment a partner purposefully hides what they are doing with someone else, it is cheating.
as a rule of thumb is stupid. if you are going to act like you are single what was the point of getting married? or being in a committed relationship? if you want to act like a single man or woman stay single and do what you want
Not as a rule of thumb, it literally isn’t how they work
@@ogieoglethorpe3788ok, so, polyamory is a thing, and this person who u are very rudely “correcting” is correct. If you are in a relationship we’re both parties agree to these terms as in, they both agree to let each other sleep with other people WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED that’s how polyamory works, it’s not your dating multiple people it’s the fact that some people are just naturally sexually curious and need different things with different people every once and awhile but don’t want to cheat this is their option, it’s not the fact of they wonna fck around and do whatever it’s the fact of they want a relationship with someone they love and trust and care about but these people who are just life flings don’t really mean much, and that may sound harsh, but you make that clear to the person you sleep with, if they do not agree to your terms find someone else, and as long as you and your partner agree to those terms than it is none of your god damn business on what they fckin do
@@DarkShadowStudiosYT1 ok, so, polyamory is a thing, and this person who u are very rudely
"correcting" is correct. If you are in a relationship we're both parties agree to these terms as in, they both agree to let each other sleep with other people WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED that's how polyamory works, it's not your dating multiple people it's the fact that some people are just naturally sexually curious and need different things with different people every once and awhile but don't want to cheat this is their option, it's not the fact of they wonna fok around and do whatever it's the fact of they want a relationship with someone they love and trust and care about but these people who are just life flings don't really mean much, and that may sound harsh, but you make that clear to the person you sleep with, if they do not agree to your terms find someone else, and as long as you and your partner agree to those terms than it is none of your god damn business on what they fokin do
@@ogieoglethorpe3788people who are polyam dont act single. im poly, two partners, and i quite often brag about my partners to people im also interested in. quite a few of my exes also dated another one of my partners, usually while dating me and meeting them separately.
This ain't even a polyamory, this is an open relationship. Polyamory: romantic relationship between 3 or more people, where all of the persons on the relationship know and like eachother. Open relationship: romantic relationship where all the people in the relationship can have s*x with people outside of the relationship WHILE the other person knows about it.
Tho in poly relationships they all do have to know each other, they don't have to like each other like that, two people dating one, but not dating each other would still be polyamory.
Key difference is the dating part, these people are part of the relationship, while in an open marrige it's hookups(? on the side with your partner's consent basically
@misteriosa5932 All the poly relationships I've been on have been as I described, but I guess it can also be as you describe
As someone who is Polyamorous, this is true in some cases. There are two types of polyamorous relationships: the circle (everyone is dating everyone and likes each other romantically) and the tree/snowflake (this is a relationship where two or more people are dating one person but not each other.)
The main difference between polyamorous relationships and open relationships is communication. In polyamorous relationships, you sit down and talk things out "I want to bring this person in our relationship, is that okay?" "Yes but here are some boundaries I have." In an open relationship, it's mainly sexual and hardly ever romantic.
well, actually that's not the only kind of polyamory. it can also just be people dating more than one person, like a polycule. they may not all know each other. they often aren't all dating each other. but they all know about each other, and it's consensual, and there is communication. and honestly, an open relationship is a type of polyamory. there's several types.
@@remitheowl9864 Yeah, it would be imposible for me to explain in such deepness so I just explained what I had experienced
That is disgusting😱 he is a predator
No
@@ramiiibm YES are you slow 😂
Still no since technically she is an adult
It doesn't matter if she's an adult, he was in his 30 wanting to have sęx with a new adult, someone who was 11 years younger, someone who could have been his child
No and yes
Not polyamory, I'm poly with my partner, so let me explain a few qna's
Q. What's the difference between an open relationship, swingers, and poly?
A. Polyamory has something called a polycule where there's a main couple and side couples. It's pretty safe as everyone knows everyone elses sex life, and everyone is usually clean and tested. An open marriage is very much less safe, but communication is key, this usuallyhappenswhen one partneris poly but the other isn't and can be abused, nothing should be hidden, swingers usually throw parties with new partners every night, but once again, both partners are aware of everything going on
Q. Is it ok for someone to spring on you that they are poly after you've been dating a while?
A. NO, this is something that should be first or second date. Springing it on your partner after you've been dating for a month or two is a huge red flag
Q. My partner is poly, but I'm not. I really like them and don't want to break up. What are my next steps?
A. First, you should determine if you're ok with the thoughts of your partner hooking up with other people. Then you should have a talk, are you the main partner or the side? What rules should be implemented? And do you think you or him should be regularly std tested
Q. At what point is it poly or cheating? What's the difference between the two?
A. It becomes cheating the moment they hide things or deceive you if they get a new partner and don't mention it right away or if they say they're at work when they're really with someone else, this is not poly it is deception and you should reevaluate your relationship, the difference is poly is consintual with ALL parties, the side, the first S/O, and the second S/O should all be in the know and no one should be in the dark.
I'm willing to answer more questions, please just ask
Thank you for this! People have sO many misconceptions about polyamory!
From how you described a polycule they generally have their own partners im the polycule. What is ot called when everyone in a group is dating each other? For example 3, 4 or 5 people who are all together?
Why is there a need of more than one partner? We humans are genetically "social Monogamous with polygamous tendencies" and these tendencies are basically evolution instincts
To spread the gene and increase the count but now we dont need that so why not settle for just one partner? Man woman doesnt matter, just why
Why not commitment to your one and only?
@@IronManFan-gj8ov humans are pack animals, for one. so, while some people can thrive in monogamy, others cannot. two, there is no 'gene' that determines whether youll be polyamorous or not, just like theres no gene that determines whether youll be monogamous. three, polygamous is when someone (usually a man) has multiple spouses, its not the same as polyamory- polyamory is just dating more than one person. why do people cheat?
@@karenoien325 still a polycule!
As someone who was groomed by a much older polyamorous couple when I was fresh out of hs, thank you for protecting that girl. What happened to me has scarred me in all aspects of my life, and I wish there had been someone like you looking out for me back then.
Diddy disciple 😭🙏
Not a great time to bring P. Diddy up
Bro didn't get it
I wouldn’t be surprised if it was Diddy himself
You're so Immature 😭🙏🏻
no Diddy preyed on adolescent and very, very young teens so he would think 19 is too old for him.
Oh no baby girl that wasn't polyamory, that was him. We don't do that. We do not mess with children, ever, EVER. POLYAMORY IS FOR GROWN FOLKS. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. That's disgusting.
19 isn’t a child and is a literal adult I would get it if the girl was fresh out of high school but she isn’t
@thedoomslayer3698 19 *is* fresh out of highschool, most kids graduate at 18. not to mention shes a TEENager, not an adult.
The girl was a legal adult. She had every right to consent to sex you disgusting prude. Stop infantilizing girls.
@@gghoulish-fun
adult
well cant do anything bout it age of consent is 16
Nah, dude trying to be drake 💀
Thank you for, in a sea of Diddy jokes, daring to be a Drake joke
(It’s a joke comment but I also genuinely mean it 😂)
he aint shes above 15
Diddy strikes again. Or perhaps I should say Diddy STROKES again.
💀
As he should
@@ramiiibm Bruh 🤦♂️
Get out🗣@@ramiiibm
💀💀💀
Ngl poly or open relationship nowadays seems more like enabling cheating rather than admitting you want to cheat lmao
@cami1031 are you speaking from experience, or just speaking what you think is the truth? because this isnt polyamory, and most polyam relationships dont like cheating as much as any mono couple would. you arent poly because you want to cheat, and you saying that proves you dont know what youre talking abt tbh
Ain’t the whole reason of marriage is to only love each other and be exclusive?
depends on the people getting married
Not really. If it was, people wouldn't cheat, people marry for a lot of reasons, you know?
On the animal level, it’s instinctive to want lots of sexual partners and for each partner to only be with us. You have to choose to sacrifice either the “lots of partners” part OR the “partners only bang me” part for love to work.
@@anonhere4021am i tweaking or are u kinda making it sound like having one partner is a lesser thing compared to multiple/cheating. Idk man i think having one person who should presumably be the love of your life exclusive to u and only “bang” u would be heaven for most people
@@miau5878 most people, yes. not everyone, though, which is also why some people cheat. 🤷
Bro's a predator get him locked up 💀
except he wasn't? You may not like it but 19 is an adult and legal.
@@JeffreyjkKlein still a teenager, you're putting legality over morality. Just because it's legal doesn't mean it's right. What is illegal tho? Sexual coercion. He could absolutely be charged for that.
@@gothicvomit4894
he could not be charged
with what?
legally dating somebody over the age of consent😂
Dont Ask, Dont Tell is not good
If you cannot openly talk to your partner, dont do it
This isn't polyamory! This is an open relationship! Polyamory is when 3 or more people are in a closed relationship. There are boundaries, so stuff like this doesn't happen.
This is why you take a background check on the person you were dating double check he doesn’t have anything nefarious going on and then the guy after a year or two and if he thinks about polyamory, it means he’s wanting to cheat on you, but in a polyamory, you can’t cheat because you’re able to be with other people pick your men better women
@@lucasmartin3509 small note, you CAN cheat in a proper polyamory, relationships like the one portrayed here arent really polyamory, its just whats used (poorly) by a spouse as a pass to get with others. ive been in polyam relationships where i and others have been cheated on before, and the "dont ask" rule generally isnt a thing in most relationships lol
@@gghoulish-funsorry but if you are not commited and you can sleep with other people then it is literally and logically not possible to cheat.
@@ihavenonameforyou1 except you are committed, and there shouldnt be any undiscussed 'sleeping around'. all of my partners know who im dating and having sexual OR romantic relations with, and i know who theyre having relations with. when they start hiding who theyre going out with or messaging, then that crosses the line over into cheating, just like in a monogamous relationship. sure, im not married to my partners (never plan to be, really bc none of us really want to do it outside of maybe for tax reasons), but i still call my boyfriends as my boyfriends, and my girlfriend as my girlfriend. 🤷
@@ihavenonameforyou1 most times poly relationships are 3 or more people who date exclusively, for example 3 people who date eachother and no one else, if one of them went out of their way and took a 4th person out and did not inform any of the 3 partners that is cheating, so it can happen. Open relationship is not the same as polyamory
How are you gonna do a background check if you're not a police officer?
This is NOT how polyamorous relationships work.
Because 9/10 of the stuff i hear is horrific with that 1 being people who go into the relationship with those expectations
@@grayross3137 if this is all youre hearing abt polyam relationships, then youre not hearing what actual polyamory is, i fear. coming from a person who is polyam, this is nothing what its like lol
That is because most cheaters stain the actual meaning of polyamorous people. Polyamory is feeling attraction for more than one person, there are poly couple that have agreed to stay together because they are all poly. I do not recommend being in a poly relationship if you're not it yourself, it can cause emotional distress, but if you do, please set very clear rules and boundaries like most do. Examples are: You need to know the third person before a physical relationship starts, your partner needs to wear protection at all times, open communication always, weekly std tests for your and their own safety, you need to know their location so you can get them if the date goes south, etc.
There are multiple types of relationships like that. I suggest educating yourself with open-minded articles or talking with actual poly people.
That man is a predator, thank you for protecting that girl
An abomination of the rules of marriage. Just fall in LUST. Leave love and marriage out of the equation.
i do not see how polyamory or open relationships can ever be anything but disgusting and abusive.
if anyone ever suggested that to me, we are done on the spot.
@@Touay. because this isnt what polyamory really is. im in a 4+ years long polyam relationship now, and its quite literally been the best few relationships ive ever been in. sure, we've had a few bad apples, but just like any other relationship, its been dealt with civilly and like adults. theres no major age gaps, no cheating, no lack of trust, just thoughtful conversation, open communication, and not a lot of sex. hell, i have a few partners that ive never even had sexual relations with, its just purely romantic interest. and, even with the few partners that i do have sexual interests in, its very uncommon anything happens besides a little raunchy makeouts before bed. we're all adults, we know how to communicate like adults, and we all know how to be open about our issues with one another and how to deal with said issues like civil adults. ive seen so many monogamous relationships struggle with the basic concept of communication, its really unnerving tbh that two adults cant just sit down and talk through things.
Thank you I was looking for this comment Idk how this bullshit has became a normal thing to people
it's just a relationship with more people
@@itsme6256because most people mind their own business
ikr? like how do ppl consider this normal
Bros diddy 😭😭🙏🏽🙏🏽
Bro's still making diddy jokes
I'm still open to polyamory, but my girlfriend wanted to have an open relationship. I was uncomfortable, but she gaslit me into believing that this was just her, and not to judge (Were both LGBTQ+ so support is a hard topic)
She ended up adding one of our friends. When I asked her when we wanted to talk to him about affection and such she said that only she would be dating him, not us. It made me sick, and wildly depressed. Eventually we broke up because she didn't like my gender fluidity
I still don't mind polyamory, but I will never go without boundaries again
There needs to be awareness of that stuff, younger than middle school cuz I be hearing stories of 7yos being manipulated into this sh*t. Maybe this needs to be covered as early as possible because 7 is crazy.
Who cares if they’re adults, the age difference is completely disgusting.
Nah, that is your thinking and thus your problem, they are a grown ass adult and can make whetever decisions they want
Also good god, drop this age gap bs, if they are both adults then there is no problem
@ 19 and 35 is okay? Wow…
@ShyPineapple777 yes, it's ok, they are both adults and thus can do whatever they want. The only reason that yall think it's a problem is bc yall want to infantilize grown adults and act as if they are stupid. If by 18 you can drive, vote, drink in most countries and even start an OF or literally die for your country, then they can decide to date whoever they want
@@ShyPineapple777 50 and 30 is okay so is 19 and 35
@@matheusrubimdepaoli5409but it is a problem in this case because she said no and was uncomfortable and he still tried to change her mind through his wife grown ass adult is one thing but consent is a whole another thing!
Nah he’s Diddy💀
me and my husband are both polyamorus, but after awhile of being poly and both of us having terrible experiences with our other partners, we decided to be monogamous. before meeting him i was already in a relationship, and that boyfriend ended up being abusive and then broke up with me, and after so many uphappy relationships... i just decided i personally didnt want to be with anyone but him, but was fine with him dating others. shortly after we got together, he met someone else and they were together for a little bit, but they were being emotionally manipulative, so they broke up. and after that he met another guy and they were together for awhile, but he S/A'ed my husband, so my husband broke up with him. and after that he decided he wanted to just be with me too. we have discussed it, and im the future this could change, but likely will not. this is the happiest and healthiest relationship either one of us have ever been in, so we are more than okay with not being involved with anyone else.
This like not ok bro I would divorce him
God, this story gives me a pit in my stomachache that is so awful he would do that
I, while yes I am not entitled to anyone’s love or attention, felt left out, I was in a relationship with someone who said they wanted two partners, me and their other partner, then they said that they never said that when they added more people to the relationship, I was forced to date another person, neither of us wanted to date each other and we are still friends, but my partner would tell me they could talk or something came up but in reality they were just leaving me out, I ended ip doing something wrong, not don’t to state what but I regret it, and the partner started trying when they realized I was already half way out the door, we broke up before a year
Oooooo. Fun. Poly stories time.
Was with this one guy for months before he came to me and explained he was poly and asked if I’d be open to us having another partner. I explained to him my rules (I knew what poly was and what I wanted at the time), that whomever he picked had to love both him and me, I believe this is triangle poly? I have more rules now because of this story but that was my only one at the time.
Anyway. He picks out a friend of his, a choice I wouldn’t have accepted now. This friend, he was already in love with my then boyfriend, another red flag, as it should’ve began with developing that feeling for us both. Well. They start talking behind my back and hanging out without me, which would have been fine if it was just a “We like this thing and we know you don’t so we’ll just go do it ourselves.” This partner proceeded to talk down to me all the time, act as if I was the villain, a third wheel in their relationship. They wouldn’t let me be affectionate toward our partner when they were around and any conversations with them about it led to them saying they hated me and would never love me (didn’t even get the one demand I had) and my partner telling me that I had to give them more time and that’s just how they were and that I was being dramatic about it all by asking them to love me so quickly.
I was constantly jealous and felt left out of my own relationship, made to feel like a monster for simply existing around them.
I eventually gave up and left, I think it had taken this new partner threatening me and being just genuinely a bully for me to leave.
I understand that not all poly is like this and that the person I got stuck with was awful. That I should’ve never even been made to feel jealous, but I’ve not gotten over what they did and how awful they made every day feel. They scared me out of ever doing poly again and because of them I now have a whole “If you want poly that’s up to you but they have to meet this whole laundry list of criteria” spiel that I’ve given partners since, and nobody’s taken me up on it so. Nice.
@StereotypicalJesus first red flag was him waiting to tell you he was polyam, instead of telling you that before yall started dating:/ im so sorry you went through that, ive been through something similar (was already poly and so was my partner, but the guy she wanted wasnt), so i get how you feel:(
I was in a polyamery relationship, and when i found out i was pregnant, the girl we were with wanted to be pregnant as well. After a few months, i ended it with her and gave my bf an ultimatum. Then i ended it with my ex because he was still seeing her after i had our daughter.
You could've seen that one coming.
I do not understand this behaviour. If you're wanting to "explore" with others and the passion between you has waned... then just end the relationship? Why not just break up?
Typically out of fear of starting over.
@@halfbakedproductions7887 because they still want to come home to a warm bed and nice meal:/
Isn’t it stupid that monogamy is the default for relationships
This literally isnt polyamory its an open relationship
Thats not poly thats an open relationship with room for lies. Thats how you fuck up a marriage
Open marriage is not the same as a poly relationship
Thats not polyamory, thats just an open marriage with an open pdfile
For me it was them forgetting our anniversary to hang out with their other partner who theyd been with for less than ¼ of the time we had been together
For those unsure about the difference of open & poly:
Open relationships & polyamory are very different. Yes the idea is the same but open relationships need a lot more trust and talk. Poly relationships are people who date others while with someone, It can vary from partner A dating Partner B and partner b is dating partner C or all 3 dating. Theres closed poly and opened.
my opinion on their situation:
This is a open relationship. Also she shouldve done more digging to check if he was talking to any younger people as the comment about being a first for a girl was kinda concerning. If he was so willing to do it with a 19 yr old im sure hed feel some sort of excuse to do it with a 18 or 17 yr old.
Most people in these comments have no idea what polyamory is, please educate yourselves first before making assumptions
If a marriage is already being open the relationship is already dead because unsatisfaction is already a sign of a bad relationship plus how would you have kids because it would feel wrong so yeah
thw thing is, this isn’t polyamory.. polyamory/REAL open relationships should either start out open or become open with the idea/consent of both parties..
Im still open to polyamory, but i know with my fiance i want monogamy, even though our boundaries are looser than most
People need to stop using the word polyamory and giving it a bad rap. This isnt polyamory, this is a man that wanted a gree pass to sleep around
So what I understood, it's not exactly a polyamorous relationship.
Polyamory is:
A loves B and C, B loves A and C, C loves A and B
But in the relationship in the video, A loves B and C, but B and C don't have a relationship or love each other, it is not a triangle, it is an angle.
Open communication is so important. I was poly for a while, urged to be so by a guy I wanted so desperately to be with. Promised we’d tell each other who we were seeing and when we had sex with someone new. I had 2 other partners who were always lovely and honest. The guy I was so in love with ended up breaking our rules, cheated on me for who knows how long, and gave me an STI. He exposed me and my other partners because he couldn’t be honest with who he was seeing and tossed me aside to be someone else’s boyfriend.
I’m still working through the trauma. My other two partners are fine. One is one of my best friends, and the other is my fiancé and the best person in the world for me (and we’re monogamous).
remember! As a polyamous person, DONT FORCE SOMEONE TO BE IN A OPEN RELATIONSHIP. The WHOLE point of polyamory is the fact that you have multiple consenting partners that all love each other.
That’s not Poly , that’s swinging
To be brief, I know of one very successful mmf throuple. Both dudes are bisexual and it all just works really well for them. Polyamory doesn't always mean open polyamory. These three are exclusive to each other only
That is NOT polyamory. Polyamory is all about trust and openness and love. Respect for yourself and your partners is super important.
“What made you decide polyamory wasn’t for you?”
*Morals.* 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
@GracieSmith-06 i have good morals and im polyam. so what?
Be in a relationship all you want, don't get married if you don't wanna commit to that person 100%, it's as simple as that.
Polyamory and open marriage is in my opinion disguting , as soon as it starts in most case it ends badly, and if you want to sleep with others but still be with your partner you're just delusional i would run as soon as my partner say that.
Seeing I have 14 and 10 years together... I am curious what your personal experience is with dating in general and polyamory is.
Because a lot of people are just judging from a far. And I am very much aware I and most people I know that are poly are not telling friends and family because of the judgement. Eventhough they have been in happily commited relationships for a long time.
PS. this video is a terrible depiction.
Its a life choice all of these videos do paint it in a bad light as the partners usually get forced into it polyamory and open marriages is something that most definitely doesn’t work for alot of people but some just need a open relationship for a variety of reasons same this polyamory its a complicated thing please do more research its not just “wanting to fuck more people”
It is very harsh for me to hear "discusting" when I know we are a loving, harmonious and happy. And I don't get why.
For example: I find spousal abuse and controlling behavior discusting and toxic. These are traits not limited to any type of relationship or even outside of one.
yeah.... no, it works. ive been in a polyam relationship for upwards of 4 years now, and its the best relationship ive ever been in. its mostly non-sexual, mind you, so its not like we're just sleeping around either, its primarily romantic with sexual tones maybe once every few weeks or so. it works just fine, as long as you know what you want out of the relationship and know how to deal with jealousy, communication, misunderstandings, etc.
@@gghoulish-fun I'm not saying it can't work. But no one with a sane mind would even try to make it work. Just saying and I'm a Muslim saying that, that's important because our religion allows men to have up to 4 wives.
Yeah Americans would accept mostly anything in the name of being open mind. First sentence explains
Polyamory has always existed through human societies, and is more prevelant in Asian then Western countries. If u just want to be a d*ck, pick a different reason
Polyamory has always existed through human societies, and is more prevelant in Asian then Western countries. If u just want to be a d*ck, pick a different reason
I'm only on my second relationship and I straight up told my ex and my current gf that if you bring up that you want a poly relationship it's over, I have massive anxiety and can't take stuff like that but thankfully so far my girlfriends have been somewhat anxious too
Instead of pretending to be single just actually be single
@@decadentnight you dont pretend to be single in a polyam relationship though, soo...
This is NOT how partnered polyamory should be. I can understand a minimal info basis for like, solo-poly. But even as an aromantic I still like to know baseline info about other relationships and share info about mine. People who want to be 100% quiet about it are suspicious
That's not poliamory. That's a dishonest predator! Open relationships should be honest and without secrets
not a preatator age of consent is 16
For me the red flag would’ve been even the mention of polyamory while in a marriage
Yeah, I'm poly myself and anytime I go from single to having a partner it's something I tell them about in the first month of us dating. Polyamory is a huge deal breaker for a lot of people, so I get it out of the way quickly so we don't waste our time. To wait until your partner can't easily leave to tell them is definitely a red flag.
So.... polygamous relationships and open marriages are VERY different things.
@animeobssesent101 polyamorous* just an fyi, polygamy is wayyy different than polyamory
That’s why i like that the age of consent where im from is 20-21! Jeez, he’s a creep
So two 18's old cannot consent to each other? Thats pretty weird.
@ anyone can do as they please, We all have free will, but bc the brain is not fully mature at age and is not the brain of an adult they set the age of consent to 21, no one will do anything of high school students decided to experiment, we have sex ed at a young age too so we know wat it is, but most of us also prefer to wait till we’re 21 or older, bc we like to focus on other things while growing up
@introverted_gremlin Well brains development depends on the individual its goes from mid to late twenties and for most all development won't stop until they are thirty.
So the age Set on 21 and using brain development as argument is bad arguments on itself as brains aren't fully
Developed then not even close(PS: 90% of the brain is developed by year 5 meaning the last 10% development span another 2 decades at earliest still)
So by that logic age of consent should be 30.
If thats the age of consent high schoolers exploring should be punished.
@ very true, we are taught that but most still prefer it to b 21 (some might have different reasons than others)
My dad’s reason to me was that it felt like there was no pressure to fit into a social norm, u had the choice to experience that if u wanted even if u were not 21 and would not b punished for it, that’s why they teach way it is, the risks, how to avoid things u don’t want like stds infection pregnancy etc from the age of 8 (which is a bit old since our anatomy, language and stats courses start in the 1st grade) so if u do want to u’ll know what to do, but u didn’t hve to if u didn’t want to, u could never do it if u wished, or wtv, (so technically the 21 thing is probably only on paper and id say we dont have one at all we just prefer it for some reason)
@@introverted_gremlin fair I guess
Personally just think age of consent should be earlier as age when you can enlist in military service or forced to go as some countries have it as mandatory.
As if your are mature mentally and physically to die and kill for your country you are easily past the maturity to decide If you want sleep around or not.
Personally I have polyamory my mom forced it on my dad and they would be on dates constantly and would forget about me and my sister. Thankfully I had a job to buy food for us.
Yeahh, I dont have anything against polyamorous people, but I am stricktly momogamous. What can I say, I dont wanna have to share someone while they dont have to share me.
Poliamori is just cheating, is disgusting and horrible, i don't understand why people do it. Also... A teenager ☠️☠️☠️
@@CgcCgc-ng2ej wtf is poliamori
Polyamory isn’t the same as an open relationship btw
Polyamory is when more than 2 people are in a relationship together!
There are healthy polyamory relationships
no cheating is not consensual polyamory is
Correct me if I’m wrong (genuinely - I’m not polyamorous, so I’m not 100% sure about all of it), but that’s not polygamy. That’s an open relationship. Polygamy is a closed relationship with multiple people. (Again, tell me if that’s incorrect, I’d rather be told I’m saying the wrong thing so I can correct myself and know better in the future than continue making a fool of myself)
@@Stay4Stray-v8q polygamy is one person having multiple spouses, polyamory is a closed relationship between multiple people!
She was barely legal 💀💀
i mean by 3 years aint that close
As someone that’s poly, ew, that is absolutely vile
I kind of stumbled into the poly relationship when I was in high school. I'm not the jealous type, so I didn't really care what was going on. I agreed to join the relationships, but one of them got jealous of the closeness I had to both partners. He killed the vibe (got jealous because I was "making out with his girl") and the trio became a duo. The girl found another girlfriend that I didn't like very much so I left as well.
THATS NOT HOW THOSE WORK THERES A LITERAL WEBTOON ABOUT THIS
😬 its so annoying when people abuse things like polyamory to get what they want out of a relationship.
he's just using the word polyamory or whatever he calls it to look for other girls without him being called a cheater and still keeping you. that is just selfish.
as a linnea, this makes me immensely uncomfortable
First, love the name Linnea.
Second, he's a monster in hiding and op barely got out of there before he got worse
Cant imagine being in a marriage and having a ‘dont ask dont tell’ policy. I will just assume the worst, like this guy playing with ages of consent.
That isn't how being poly works, that's just called an open relationship, being poly is adding a 3rd person that both people already in the relationship are attracted to and want to date and having all 3 of you date.
That wasn’t polyamory, that was abuse and manipulation. Thank God they didn’t have children, I guarantee he would have done something to them.
reason number 74832 of why I think "open relationships/poly' is bunk at this point.
When they asked for an open marriage, your marriage is over.
Poly wasn't for me. I was 17 turning 18 in 2 months, I had just graduated high school and I was somehow manipulated into a relationship with a girl let's call her ruby for privacy sake who was 16 turning 17 in a month (I only realized I was tricked after I ended things) she wanted to make me happy since I was bisexual so we went poly. But when we found a guy I liked, she would get upset, end things with the guy, then drag me to a new guy and repeat. I was getting dragged guy from guy, I was tired and emotionally tired. Then we met this guy, just turned 19 that month, who we will call jason for privacy reasons and he was the sweetest. I told him how tired I was with being dragged from guy to guy and he stayed for my sake. Ruby was tiring, I would go to therapy and when I would get back I would tell them what I spoke about, then ruby would make an issue out of nowhere and it was our job to make things better, she was a narcissistic and a gold digger who would spend the pocket money I had that I took out from my paycheck. So Jason and I were talking about we both were emotionally exhausted and we both suspected was that Ruby was cheating which turns out she was. So we broke up with her. Jason got me out of the relationship and I have been with him ever since but due to our bad experience we decided that poly wasn't for us. We're now engaged.
this is an open relationship, NOT polyamory. hate when people group them together as the same thing
Polyamory is cheating with consent
Well.. yeah?
The point of why cheating hurts is because it betrays your trust. If there's consent and open communication, it isn't betrayal. It varies for everyone.
This also isn't polyamory, just an open marriage. Polyamory relationships are more developed and communicated by everyone. This is just flings.
(Before anyone calls me woke, slurs, or tells me to kms I don't have a soild opinion on polyamory, I'm going by definitions, so leave me alone.)
@@dioncii8902 polyamory*, just an fyi! polygamy is when a man has more than one wife, polyamory is dating more than one person and having a polycule:3
yes like sex is just consensual r*pe
@@gghoulish-fun Thanks.
my gf used it to cheat on me, we had a 'discuss & meet them first' rule.
Seems like polyamory wasn’t the problem, was a different p word that ruined it
I swear it like never works once someone opens a marriage or relationship
Poly seemed like it worked well for her, her husband was just a creep lmao
There's often this trend with men and women choosing partners
Women tend to pick men around their own age often someone who's a bit older but still within their age range
Men just want girls below 25 no matter how old they themselves get, this whole idea of virginity made some men turn into these predators who find the girl's painful feeling of hymen breaking to be something to be proud of.
When did making girls experience pain become something that makes a man manly?
Thats what happens when you mess about. If you don't want to be monogamous then don't get married.
This isn’t polyamory. Polyamory is communication first, it could never healthily house a don’t ask, don’t tell policy.
HES A CRADLE SNATCHER😭
I know a low life that openly makes s•xual comments about his daughters and nieces. Yet his wife just looks the other way and lets it happen. Wife was abducted by him when she was 13. Stockholm syndrome to the max. So vile…..so very very vile.
He’s the problem. Good choice.
My friend is named Linnea and we both are Swedish, but she’s younger than me
This wasn't proper poly and that man is a predator
this is not polyamory. its an open relationship ie for anyone not just your partners.
I've been a cis-het man my entire life and I've never understood the allure of taking a virgin. I mean seriously, how could that be a selling point?
@p0pp4 its a pedophilic/predator mindset, some men are seriously attracted to taking a young girl's virginity because its like, yknow.. taking a kid's first time, which is fucking awful
I think it's a power thing. My old preacher used to say that "stealing" a woman's virginity gave a man power, and so it was a greedy thing to do. He was a huge creep, so I imagine creeps like him have a similar mindset
that's just divorce without the paperwork man
Ewwww so what he was “unsatisfied” with was how old his wife was getting. What a pervert.
What taught me? My common sense
Can we not mix up poliamory with "open relationship" those are NOT the same