That ad immediately made me say "fourth edition" right after you said "then you need" cause it honestly sounds like a better solution than another 5e supplement.
If you're really worried about being one of these players, you're already not. The worst players (and people in general) can't and won't think they do anything wrong ever
@@kendromeda42 Not true, sadly. I've had some problem players in my games (years ago, luckily) who were neurotic about being a bad element, but focused on the wrong things - like they'd be super careful not to push the party to do anything they didn't want to do, but they'd get really anal about other players' builds, for example.
I'm very glad that I've got a group of friends who are comfortable with one another, but even then some of the non-malicious situations still come up, completely on accident. They're almost inevitable to be honest, so good communication is super important.
I still personally believe the entire Llamas with hats series is just a long winded explaination that Carl is giving to Paul as to why he shouldn't leave for that walk back in episode 1
Big take away from this video: talk to them like a normal adult human being. Don't just put it on the side and hope it solves itself, and don't be vindictive about the problem either. Calmly try to have a discussion with them. The goal isn't to "win" the argument, the goal is to get the problem solved.
B-B-B-B-BUT I _DO_ NEED TO WIN THE ARGUMENT! THEY ARE MY ENEMY AND I MUST DEFEAT THEM IN VERBAL (or physical if I slam enough Monsters) COMBAT! IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO DEFEND MY FRAGILE EGO!
I pretty sure the problem with doing that is the result of losing friends/dropping a social group. For a lot of people, that may be fine, but in a place where there are only 7 people interested in DnD, if u leave that group, you will not have another to play with. Other problem is social anxiety - I am guilty of that, plus trauma with having deeper conversations. And the last problem for me at least would be how different people behave in game vs real life. It was hard for me to talk with my close friend about her bad behavior when, in real life, she is super sweet and caring, but give her a team and she immediately promotes herself to team main leader, team main decider, team main talker, team main fighter, etc...
This was very helpful. I have a player whose trying to "reasonably" get the group to follow their plan even though people don't want too. got some ideas to work with that now.
A hard earned lesson the dropping toxic tables was. I had to personally self correct the desire to be the main character. Now I always get self-conscious about whether or not I'm game hogging, it's a struggle but I always ask the group about any ideas I have; there's also this great trick where if you focus someone they start to speak (also a really handy tool as a DM.)
Probable outcome to the nice approach: "Hey, I was noticing that some of us were doing a lot of _____ (insert what problem player is doing). I'm thinking we could cool it on that so everyone can have more fun." "Oh, sure thing man! Sorry, I didn't realize I was doing ______ so much." Paranoid expected outcome: "Hey gang, I was noticing that some of us are doing a lot of ______. I'm thinking we could cool it on that so everyone can have more fun?" "SCREW YOU DM! I'LL NEVER ADHERE TO YOUR HOPES FOR ALL OF US TO HAVE FUN. ONLY *I* CAN HAVE FUN DESTROYING EVERYONE ELSE'S FUN. I'M GONNA F*** THIS GAME, AND YOU'RE GONNA WATCH!"
I have a background in having various leadership positions in a guild in an mmo (from raidleader to officer to leader) and once I warm to a group I get over my social anxiety easily, so I can fall into a very assertive personality. But I hate going over people's head, so I constantly check with the other players for their opinions. Perhaps even to the point it seems paranoid. A character of mine was supposed to be a grumpy, more quiet type, but everyone else was hesitant / nervous / new, so early on I stepped up a bit and ended up naturally becoming the party face. As a monk with +1 charisma. Luckily our group gelled super well and everyone happily chimes in now and starts crazy shenanigans.
Then there's the other type of problem player that is so incredibly apathetic that they refuse to partake in any decision making. When the entire party does this and foists all responsibility on the one player that actually gives a shit about the story outside of combat. . . Well, I may as well be playing a video game.
@@Hromovlad1 There's being a combat heavy character and a combat only player. These players completely check out if there's nothing to hit. If you want to do that, go play Munchkins.
D&D and 5e is a competitive, cooperative team story based combat game. You win if everyone has fun, you lose if one person doesn't have fun. (People like to pretend otherwise, but the DM is a player actually too and a teamate)
Please note that a lot of us play D&D as an escape and sometimes those negative feelings from life can bleed into the game, even if they don't mean it. If someone's having a hard time they are going through, please be patient with them but don't let them use it to antagonize everyone else. Just becuase someone is in grief does not give them the right to lash out at everyone else.
I think a lot of "Problem players" just have different expectations for the game than the rest of the party. Generally, there are two solutions to this: get the player to understand the expectations of the rest of the group, and of the campaign, or have the player find a group that does meet their expectations. The former can be doe during a session 0, where the DM explains what their expectations for the game, or probe the players to find out what their expectations are, and have everyone buy in to those expectations. The later solution often happens when a player's expectations are so divergent that they aren't having fun. If a player expects a dungeon crawl, and is thrust into a political intrigue game, quite often the best solution is for the player to find a group that's doing a dungeon crawl. Often we find ourselves thinking about our expectations for a game, and are easy to label those with different expectations as problems, when they're just looking for a group that shares their own expectations.
This video spoke to me so much! I ended up leaving an online game and felt like I did the worng thing, but now I know I didn't. The problem player was a stage hog and tried making the campaign all about her. She interrupted the DM while on other people's turns and forced the party to do her backstory quests. I talked to the DM about my issues and he agreed but refused to do anything stating, "to just stick it out and see how the group goes." While he just sat back, enabling her behavior. I left and found a much better game.
As a DM, I’ve had my fair share of problem players to deal with. Whenever I have to talk with a player about a problematic behavior, I do so in a calm, yet firm, manner. Also, I try not to confront a problem player at the table in the middle of a session unless I absolutely have to.
I most definitely needed this video. The problem player in my party is someone who constantly feels the need to be an edge lord. Picking fights with literally (not figuratively) everyone we come across. This behavior slows down the game. It disrupts the plot. it adds needless encounters and takes away future opportunities. For Example, the PP in my group literally finds any reason to start a fight with anyone who looks in his direction, that's not an exaggeration I'm being very literal. And in doing so he gets put on his ass multiple times by these characters which by extension is obviously the DM. And instead of learning the clear lesson that not everything can be solved with violence and intimidation he continues to do this behavior. The most ironic part of all of this is he rolls like shit every time and if even the dice are telling you to fucking stop, maybe thats a fucking sign to sit the fuck down and let the plot progress. These actions slow the game. Cost us reputation as a group or "guild". Cost us spell slots and money to heal the moron every time because he constantly loses these encounters. It causes the DM to clearly scale these characters way higher than they should be just to put him on his ass to learn a lesson only for him to never learn it. We are a group of 4, 3PCs and the DM. The other member and Myself have already discussed this behavior in game as our characters and after sessions when we say you need to stop. The DM does nothing to squash this behavior outright instead of in game. I love playing DnD and unfortunately I dont have many friends willing or interested in playing outside of this group. So if I dont play with them I wont be able to play at all. Its beyond infuriating.
But sometimes people are just dipshits who don't really care if the other players are having a good time. They think everyone's taking time out of their day to entertain that one person, and if anyone challenges that idea, they either have a temper tantrum or just leave, forcing everyone to start over from scratch with a bad taste in their mouth.
This is why gaming is more like a business effort than it is about being creative. You are a game manager, not a world creator at this point. You are working with others to get the best "output" (your players) of the "product" (the game) you can have while not letting it go under. It requires knowing your players, one-on-ones, connecting with them outside of the game sphere, and constant feedback - just like well-established companies do with their employees.
I spoke with people on another discord last time I had problem to get a outsiders perspective and it helped. I'm not willing to leave our current table as other DM seems subpar and I compare myself to them. (the one time I DM a game)
So, I tend to play support characters because my OCD demands that I min max the hell out of my character, and no one gets mad at the support character for being overpowered.
This video helped a few ideas I had been mulling over finally click into place, mostly about rules lawyers/rules pest players. The "I just want to make sure we are playing by the rules" type that seem innocuous at first but start to grade as you intrudes things not explicitly from the books and their concerns become more frequent.
I was wanting to run a one shot in a homebrew setting I came up with with my brother. It was designed to be a gritty realism, low to mid magic levels, monsters are rare and terrifying kinda game. We both agreed that this kind of dnd settings would suit our tastes. So I set about building this one shot to see how it goes, he sets about building his character. A few days later he messages me and says he wants to play an Aasimar celestial warlock/divine soul sorcerer. Ordinarily i wouldn't have an in issue with that, I'm more tolerant of magic in my settings than he even is and don't mind the high fantasy aspects of dnd. But He had explicitly stated in past discussions that the reason he doesn't play dnd anymore is because it's become saturated with magic, and that's not the kind of world he wanted to play in. So I set about building a more toned back world and he comes up with a character that absolutely would not fit within the parameters of the setting, which we had both discussed prior. When I told him that what he wanted to play just didn't fit the tone of the world, and that we could play in forgotten realms instead if that's what he wanted, he said "you can call the classes whatever you like and reflavor them, I just want the mechanics" Call a chicken a duck, it's still a chicken. He wanted to get away with playing something that didn't exist in the world I came up with and tried to coerce me into calling it something else. I know my brother, and whenever I've seen him roll up a character he always fandangles the ability scores to be 16's,17's, and 18's across the board. I already expected it and was willing to let it fly. But he was gearing up to play a a high fantasy, high magic character that would be a god among men and steam roll over everything I threw at him because he doesn't like the idea of his characters being at ANY sort of disadvantage. We ended up not playing because he didn't want to run his character in a world it would fit in, like forgotten realms.
So, I was the first kind of problem player, and I have been spending the past 3 years correcting my behavior because that is not okay. Recently, I have been looking to become a DM, and I am searching for new players to play with.
2:27 I was actually one of those players it it broke my fucking heart when I found out. I'm working on doing better and I think it's making everyone have a better time
it is always a valid choice to remind them that you do not have to keep playing with them if they keep being a source of misery for everyone else. you always have the option to just not invite them back to the next game.
Here we go this is what i was looking for. Another site just said ask them to leave....duh! Sometimes it is not that simple and obvious if they are a PP on purpose.
Initially thought this was gonna be just another video either repeating the same horrible advice for “dealing” with selfish players, or repeating the vague advice everyone gives because it’s common sense, but actually turned out to have some useful advice for spotting and dealing with these problems. Thanks Honestly wish this video existed a couple years ago during the worst (and somehow longest) campaign I’ve ever been in.
Just had this happen with our session 1, it happened in our last campaign which ended because of a TPK said person helped cause by running in. the player after being talked to about inappropriate behaviors that NO one was okay with but themselves decided to bow out of the game entirely... now looking for a new place to play at cause it was at said persons house. 🙃
Its literally the worst. They feel this unhinged need to be edge lords. Completely missing the point that we are playing SOMEONE ELSES story. Yes you are A main character but you are not THE main character. And you are most certainly not the plot engine that pushes the story forward. They literally dont understand the basic concepts of TTRPGs.
I wish this video had been out a year ago. Was a new DM and had a difficult player who got kicked out by the rest of the group, but it really should have been my responsibility. Still, very helpful advice, so thank you :)
The other side is the player who never wants anyone to take the spotlight. I was once in a session where my character was the center of the story, but only because we were on his arc and the DM had explicitly told us that he was planning one arc focused on each character. I just happened to go first. This player however, didn’t care and complained that the DM was favoring me and later refused to help the party and kept complaining at every turn which eventually culminated in a duel to the death between our characters
So, when a person comes to a game with the express purpose of screw people over I think a good way to deal with that is to railroad them into submission which is one of the rare times when I think railroading is acceptable. At the end of the day it is better to have one unhappy player than it is to have one happy player, and if that unhappy player is complaining tell them how they can have fun and explain to them why your railroading them into the ground.
So, I actively engage in self loathing because I have an extremely overinflated ego which has caused me a boat load of problems in the past, and it is so potent that the only way to tame it is by hating myself for it.
As someone who doesn't play D&D and finds socialising very difficult, this video works incredibly well as some refreshing life advice for social situations in general. Makes me want to learn the game! Davvy, do you have any content teaching new players? :)
My first 5e campaign one player was constantly “flexing” with how he was saying he could just kill my character if he wanted to and the DM never told him to stop trying to antagonize other group memebers
I'm writing here in hope of getting advice: I have a group.I currently play with, and one of the players asked me to let them introduce a new character. Thing is, when making this new character, as a complete 180 from their previous character they gave her a lot of plot that sounds edgy asf. In reality his character feels most like a put-upon mom that has to keep the party-babies safe. And that's fine, and despite being somewhat belicose everything's in good spirits. However, she is a warlock/oathbreaker multiclass and her patron is affably lawful evil if not chaotic neutral outright. She makes pacts and deals that can make people get screwed over by their own bad decisions. But she is a devil. And thus the party wizard will stubbornly oppose anything that deals with her, even the toll his party member needs to pay, specifically sacrificing various weird animals. Like, the animal attacked them, they killed it and need to excise something from it then send it to her patron. That's all. But he feels like it takes ages to convince him to agree to something and I worry it might be harmful in the long run. So should I try to do something? If so what? Should I just leave them be? Nobody seems to find it a problem yet, so it might just be just me and I don't want to bring it up with the party or even just the pally player because I don't want to create any tension, ya know? Usually I'm all for that but I feel this is one of the cases I need to even decide whether I take action or not.
If the player is usually reasonable, but feels the character must be stubborn, pull them aside and work with them to figure out how to create situations within the plot that will force them to move past the stubbornness in the short term. In the long term, use your DM powers to incentivize party cooperation and cohesion and disincentivize disagreements. (reward the good and punish the bad) If that doesn't work, pull them aside again, and try to work out a direction for the character that can make them more... pliable for the sake of not spending 20 minutes a session convincing them to participate.
The timing on this is spooky for me. I just yelled at a player in yesterday's session after pestering me with rules about magic during the game. One of those players who tries to get his own way constantly when the situation doesn't go his way. He left the group in a huff. There is more details I'm leaving out and I wont claim I'm completely innocent in the situation which could have been handled better but when you get hounded on the same spell rules over and over again, I lost my temper
Would really love it if you would differentiate a bit more between problem players, and people just having a REALLY bad time. Due to the pandemic, compounded by that effect on their job
Some of my players have had a bad time this past year, but its ONLY because of external stress from the effects of the pandemic. Its important to recognise the difference
4:00 So... kinda sad Childhood Psych thought... That kind of behavior is learned, not innate. Those players grew up watching their role models use their control of resources (food, shelter, money, travel, technology, etc.) to control the lives of others, and even their own lives. These are the people that grew up hearing "While you're under my house, you will follow my rules. When you turn 18 and move out, THEN you can do whatever you want. But while I continue to put food on your table and clothes on your back, you will do as I say!" every single day of their teenage years.
7:30 Yeah I kind of feel that a DM I have right now is favoring one player. I don't even know why because the player in question seems to think that RP is being an ass to every NPC and often enough to the rest of the party, especially threatening the other characters, forcing us to act out of character to keep the party together. And when one of the characters had enough and took him up on the offer to fight and downed him in a single round of combat the DM got angry with us. And yet for some reason this asshole character gets way more plot inclusion than the rest of the party combined.
This video hit too close to home. original DM saw problems with my ex and I as personal problems that we needed to sort out on our and refused to kick both of us despite him being shitty in game. 2 of the 3 other players also didnt want him at the table but his problems werent consistant and mostly targeted me. I played with him for 3 years post break up. When covid happened a I took over as DM because orignal DM hated playing online he created more problems but I didn't feel like I had the right to kick him and I didn't want to lose all my friends by leaving. Finally it took the player who would take over DMing when we can in play in person butting heads that my ex left. He just rage quit between sessions mid module. why? because a person who is immune compomised wanted anyone entering his home to be vaccinated or wear a mask if they couldnt get the vaccine. It's two weeks without him and no one misses him.
I would let the problem player continue as is but I wouldn't let them get away without consequences. Even if their character's background and alignment allows for it. If you want to play a evil rogue who kills NPCs and steals from the group, that player better play smarter or they might find themselves at the gallows.
Here’s a good DND hot take. I would honestly argue that most DM‘s shouldn’t try to fix problem players. You are not a social worker or therapist. Your only job is to make sure that people are having fun. I’ve tried in the past to talk to problem players and it always just leads to them getting upset making a stink and leaving the group on very bad terms. I’ve had entire groups destroyed trying to deal with problem players. The sad truth is unless you are someone who is trained in dealing with conflict management or de-escalation it’s probably best to just boot them from the group with little to no explanation.
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That ad immediately made me say "fourth edition" right after you said "then you need" cause it honestly sounds like a better solution than another 5e supplement.
That ad, so Pathfinder 2e
Here's an idea: instead of homebrewing 5e to hell and back, play a different game.
It's okay Davvy your my favourite don't worry :)
Davvy Chappy: releases video about problem players
My paranoid ass: watches video to see if I fall under any of the categories
If you're really worried about being one of these players, you're already not. The worst players (and people in general) can't and won't think they do anything wrong ever
same
Same
@@kendromeda42 Not true, sadly. I've had some problem players in my games (years ago, luckily) who were neurotic about being a bad element, but focused on the wrong things - like they'd be super careful not to push the party to do anything they didn't want to do, but they'd get really anal about other players' builds, for example.
@@Envy_Dragon Very true! I guess its a spectrum, and the best thing to do is communicate with everyone and be honest yet courteous
I'm very glad that I've got a group of friends who are comfortable with one another, but even then some of the non-malicious situations still come up, completely on accident. They're almost inevitable to be honest, so good communication is super important.
Hi Zedrin, love your work
Comfort is secondary when faced with the futility of the flesh
*Calling out players for being murderhobos*
“I do not kill people. That is my least favorite thing to do.”
Caaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl!
@@3nertia There's a dead npc in our house!
Carl would be the problem player, and I'm personally all for it
I still personally believe the entire Llamas with hats series is just a long winded explaination that Carl is giving to Paul as to why he shouldn't leave for that walk back in episode 1
Emphasis on *the* - Carl is the original problem player
THE PARTY :BUT CAAAAAAAARL , HE DIDNT EVEN TALK TO US YET
CARL :HE DIDN'T NEED TO , HE WAS EVIL , I COULD FEEL IT IN MY BONES
The party: WE COULD'VE SOLVED THIS DIPLOMATICALLY!!
Carl: A pen is mightier than a sword, so stabbing him 23 times with my sword I invested extra energy for our group today
I think we know the same Carl lolz
Big take away from this video: talk to them like a normal adult human being. Don't just put it on the side and hope it solves itself, and don't be vindictive about the problem either. Calmly try to have a discussion with them. The goal isn't to "win" the argument, the goal is to get the problem solved.
B-B-B-B-BUT I _DO_ NEED TO WIN THE ARGUMENT! THEY ARE MY ENEMY AND I MUST DEFEAT THEM IN VERBAL (or physical if I slam enough Monsters) COMBAT! IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO DEFEND MY FRAGILE EGO!
I pretty sure the problem with doing that is the result of losing friends/dropping a social group. For a lot of people, that may be fine, but in a place where there are only 7 people interested in DnD, if u leave that group, you will not have another to play with. Other problem is social anxiety - I am guilty of that, plus trauma with having deeper conversations. And the last problem for me at least would be how different people behave in game vs real life. It was hard for me to talk with my close friend about her bad behavior when, in real life, she is super sweet and caring, but give her a team and she immediately promotes herself to team main leader, team main decider, team main talker, team main fighter, etc...
I mean, if building a meat dragon and causing a blood tornado over Paris is "being a problem player" then yeah, I guess we can push Carl under the bus
Paul! Paul! Paul!
Hey wtf man
@@carlsmagicbicep9736 the only bad thing about watching the whole "Llamas with hats" series is that now people think I'm some sort of psychopath
Under the bus…or over the bridge
This was very helpful. I have a player whose trying to "reasonably" get the group to follow their plan even though people don't want too. got some ideas to work with that now.
"The main type of pee-pee you have to worry about..."
- Davvy 'Double Entendre' Chappy, 2021
Gonna be honest, for about 20 seconds I thought the thumbnail was saying Carl was the solution for problem players. Tbh I almost agreed with that
The omnipotent, sociopath llama as an NPC? That sounds terrifying.
Ok so I think we have a universal Carl who is the sociopath player.
A hard earned lesson the dropping toxic tables was.
I had to personally self correct the desire to be the main character. Now I always get self-conscious about whether or not I'm game hogging, it's a struggle but I always ask the group about any ideas I have; there's also this great trick where if you focus someone they start to speak (also a really handy tool as a DM.)
Probable outcome to the nice approach:
"Hey, I was noticing that some of us were doing a lot of _____ (insert what problem player is doing). I'm thinking we could cool it on that so everyone can have more fun."
"Oh, sure thing man! Sorry, I didn't realize I was doing ______ so much."
Paranoid expected outcome:
"Hey gang, I was noticing that some of us are doing a lot of ______. I'm thinking we could cool it on that so everyone can have more fun?"
"SCREW YOU DM! I'LL NEVER ADHERE TO YOUR HOPES FOR ALL OF US TO HAVE FUN. ONLY *I* CAN HAVE FUN DESTROYING EVERYONE ELSE'S FUN. I'M GONNA F*** THIS GAME, AND YOU'RE GONNA WATCH!"
As DM, I know my players can't play without me. If they want to "ruin my game," there is no game.
No DnD is better than Bad DnD.
I have a background in having various leadership positions in a guild in an mmo (from raidleader to officer to leader) and once I warm to a group I get over my social anxiety easily, so I can fall into a very assertive personality. But I hate going over people's head, so I constantly check with the other players for their opinions. Perhaps even to the point it seems paranoid.
A character of mine was supposed to be a grumpy, more quiet type, but everyone else was hesitant / nervous / new, so early on I stepped up a bit and ended up naturally becoming the party face. As a monk with +1 charisma. Luckily our group gelled super well and everyone happily chimes in now and starts crazy shenanigans.
"No D&D is better than bad D&D" is a hard lesson to learn, but damn if it isn't important.
With a Greatsword. Next question.
how do I get a great sword?
@@zEr-ne5ri you raise the swords self esteem
@@notoriousgoblin83 listen here you little coffee mug.
@@zEr-ne5ri Forge your own!!!
Funny you assume I have such mercy
Then there's the other type of problem player that is so incredibly apathetic that they refuse to partake in any decision making. When the entire party does this and foists all responsibility on the one player that actually gives a shit about the story outside of combat. . . Well, I may as well be playing a video game.
I mean, if it is just one or two players, they can still be useful to the party in combat and exploration scenarios
@@Hromovlad1
There's being a combat heavy character and a combat only player. These players completely check out if there's nothing to hit. If you want to do that, go play Munchkins.
"There's no point in being obstinate if you can actually help someone"
Is unironically gold advice!
D&D and 5e is a competitive, cooperative team story based combat game. You win if everyone has fun, you lose if one person doesn't have fun. (People like to pretend otherwise, but the DM is a player actually too and a teamate)
Please note that a lot of us play D&D as an escape and sometimes those negative feelings from life can bleed into the game, even if they don't mean it. If someone's having a hard time they are going through, please be patient with them but don't let them use it to antagonize everyone else. Just becuase someone is in grief does not give them the right to lash out at everyone else.
I think a lot of "Problem players" just have different expectations for the game than the rest of the party. Generally, there are two solutions to this: get the player to understand the expectations of the rest of the group, and of the campaign, or have the player find a group that does meet their expectations. The former can be doe during a session 0, where the DM explains what their expectations for the game, or probe the players to find out what their expectations are, and have everyone buy in to those expectations. The later solution often happens when a player's expectations are so divergent that they aren't having fun. If a player expects a dungeon crawl, and is thrust into a political intrigue game, quite often the best solution is for the player to find a group that's doing a dungeon crawl.
Often we find ourselves thinking about our expectations for a game, and are easy to label those with different expectations as problems, when they're just looking for a group that shares their own expectations.
"Some of the people who [...] top [...] are only out for their own pleasure." - Davvy Chappy, 2021
The thumbnail game on this video was STRONG AF
CAAAAAARRRLLLLLL
"Some of the people who top tables are only out for their own pleasure". Poor Davvy.
This video spoke to me so much! I ended up leaving an online game and felt like I did the worng thing, but now I know I didn't. The problem player was a stage hog and tried making the campaign all about her. She interrupted the DM while on other people's turns and forced the party to do her backstory quests. I talked to the DM about my issues and he agreed but refused to do anything stating, "to just stick it out and see how the group goes." While he just sat back, enabling her behavior. I left and found a much better game.
If I've said it once, I've said it 10000000 times.
"Out of Game problems require Out of Game solutions."
Lamas with hats I remember
I have a player who, after 2,5 years still doesn’t know how the basic rules work. It truly is taking the pass out of the game
I fuking hate lazy players, is like I'm playing for them, I prefer bad players to them. Why show up if you are not interested in playing
As a DM, I’ve had my fair share of problem players to deal with. Whenever I have to talk with a player about a problematic behavior, I do so in a calm, yet firm, manner. Also, I try not to confront a problem player at the table in the middle of a session unless I absolutely have to.
Easy, talk to them once. If they don't fix it they are out. Life is too short to waste with people you don't want to be around.
Have you tried turning off the game. Sitting down with your players and hitting them?
You had me in the first half.
We’re just so busy
Bender always has the best advice
"SOME OF THE PEOPLE WHO TOP TABLES" IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD
Love the community reference. One of my favorite scene of the show.
What a perfect thumbnail.
I most definitely needed this video. The problem player in my party is someone who constantly feels the need to be an edge lord. Picking fights with literally (not figuratively) everyone we come across. This behavior slows down the game. It disrupts the plot. it adds needless encounters and takes away future opportunities. For Example, the PP in my group literally finds any reason to start a fight with anyone who looks in his direction, that's not an exaggeration I'm being very literal. And in doing so he gets put on his ass multiple times by these characters which by extension is obviously the DM. And instead of learning the clear lesson that not everything can be solved with violence and intimidation he continues to do this behavior. The most ironic part of all of this is he rolls like shit every time and if even the dice are telling you to fucking stop, maybe thats a fucking sign to sit the fuck down and let the plot progress. These actions slow the game. Cost us reputation as a group or "guild". Cost us spell slots and money to heal the moron every time because he constantly loses these encounters. It causes the DM to clearly scale these characters way higher than they should be just to put him on his ass to learn a lesson only for him to never learn it. We are a group of 4, 3PCs and the DM. The other member and Myself have already discussed this behavior in game as our characters and after sessions when we say you need to stop. The DM does nothing to squash this behavior outright instead of in game. I love playing DnD and unfortunately I dont have many friends willing or interested in playing outside of this group. So if I dont play with them I wont be able to play at all. Its beyond infuriating.
You should be able to talk with your friends and not have a problem but…
But sometimes people are just dipshits who don't really care if the other players are having a good time.
They think everyone's taking time out of their day to entertain that one person, and if anyone challenges that idea, they either have a temper tantrum or just leave, forcing everyone to start over from scratch with a bad taste in their mouth.
Honestly, loved that add so much, was really funny and loved it lol
This is why gaming is more like a business effort than it is about being creative. You are a game manager, not a world creator at this point. You are working with others to get the best "output" (your players) of the "product" (the game) you can have while not letting it go under. It requires knowing your players, one-on-ones, connecting with them outside of the game sphere, and constant feedback - just like well-established companies do with their employees.
I spoke with people on another discord last time I had problem to get a outsiders perspective and it helped.
I'm not willing to leave our current table as other DM seems subpar and I compare myself to them. (the one time I DM a game)
So, I tend to play support characters because my OCD demands that I min max the hell out of my character, and no one gets mad at the support character for being overpowered.
This video helped a few ideas I had been mulling over finally click into place, mostly about rules lawyers/rules pest players. The "I just want to make sure we are playing by the rules" type that seem innocuous at first but start to grade as you intrudes things not explicitly from the books and their concerns become more frequent.
Socially anxious and watching this kind of video to make sure I dont exhibit problem player traits
I was wanting to run a one shot in a homebrew setting I came up with with my brother. It was designed to be a gritty realism, low to mid magic levels, monsters are rare and terrifying kinda game. We both agreed that this kind of dnd settings would suit our tastes. So I set about building this one shot to see how it goes, he sets about building his character. A few days later he messages me and says he wants to play an Aasimar celestial warlock/divine soul sorcerer.
Ordinarily i wouldn't have an in issue with that, I'm more tolerant of magic in my settings than he even is and don't mind the high fantasy aspects of dnd. But He had explicitly stated in past discussions that the reason he doesn't play dnd anymore is because it's become saturated with magic, and that's not the kind of world he wanted to play in.
So I set about building a more toned back world and he comes up with a character that absolutely would not fit within the parameters of the setting, which we had both discussed prior.
When I told him that what he wanted to play just didn't fit the tone of the world, and that we could play in forgotten realms instead if that's what he wanted, he said "you can call the classes whatever you like and reflavor them, I just want the mechanics"
Call a chicken a duck, it's still a chicken. He wanted to get away with playing something that didn't exist in the world I came up with and tried to coerce me into calling it something else. I know my brother, and whenever I've seen him roll up a character he always fandangles the ability scores to be 16's,17's, and 18's across the board. I already expected it and was willing to let it fly. But he was gearing up to play a a high fantasy, high magic character that would be a god among men and steam roll over everything I threw at him because he doesn't like the idea of his characters being at ANY sort of disadvantage.
We ended up not playing because he didn't want to run his character in a world it would fit in, like forgotten realms.
So, I was the first kind of problem player, and I have been spending the past 3 years correcting my behavior because that is not okay. Recently, I have been looking to become a DM, and I am searching for new players to play with.
2:27 I was actually one of those players it it broke my fucking heart when I found out. I'm working on doing better and I think it's making everyone have a better time
it is always a valid choice to remind them that you do not have to keep playing with them if they keep being a source of misery for everyone else. you always have the option to just not invite them back to the next game.
Here we go this is what i was looking for. Another site just said ask them to leave....duh! Sometimes it is not that simple and obvious if they are a PP on purpose.
Nice. sometimes things just don't work out. Do your best, do the work, have a tripline for the exit.
"I don't top tables, I bottom them."
No Chappy! Don’t talk about the Burger King crown! NOOOOO
6:20 You know you're being taken advantage of when they're rolling 2d20 instead of 1d20 when making persuasion checks against you
Some of my first games were full of some weird people. Soured me a bit on dnd but I’m trying to get back into it
This guy looks like he's 18 years old but he's brilliant.
Initially thought this was gonna be just another video either repeating the same horrible advice for “dealing” with selfish players, or repeating the vague advice everyone gives because it’s common sense, but actually turned out to have some useful advice for spotting and dealing with these problems. Thanks
Honestly wish this video existed a couple years ago during the worst (and somehow longest) campaign I’ve ever been in.
CAAAAAARL, you ate the shopkeeper again
Just had this happen with our session 1, it happened in our last campaign which ended because of a TPK said person helped cause by running in. the player after being talked to about inappropriate behaviors that NO one was okay with but themselves decided to bow out of the game entirely... now looking for a new place to play at cause it was at said persons house. 🙃
Its literally the worst. They feel this unhinged need to be edge lords. Completely missing the point that we are playing SOMEONE ELSES story. Yes you are A main character but you are not THE main character. And you are most certainly not the plot engine that pushes the story forward. They literally dont understand the basic concepts of TTRPGs.
I wish this video had been out a year ago. Was a new DM and had a difficult player who got kicked out by the rest of the group, but it really should have been my responsibility. Still, very helpful advice, so thank you :)
The other side is the player who never wants anyone to take the spotlight. I was once in a session where my character was the center of the story, but only because we were on his arc and the DM had explicitly told us that he was planning one arc focused on each character. I just happened to go first. This player however, didn’t care and complained that the DM was favoring me and later refused to help the party and kept complaining at every turn which eventually culminated in a duel to the death between our characters
So, when a person comes to a game with the express purpose of screw people over I think a good way to deal with that is to railroad them into submission which is one of the rare times when I think railroading is acceptable. At the end of the day it is better to have one unhappy player than it is to have one happy player, and if that unhappy player is complaining tell them how they can have fun and explain to them why your railroading them into the ground.
So, I actively engage in self loathing because I have an extremely overinflated ego which has caused me a boat load of problems in the past, and it is so potent that the only way to tame it is by hating myself for it.
Davvy is life. Davvy is the way.
This Davvy guy is clever. Quite a shrewd and thoughtful individual, you've been through some stuff huh
As someone who doesn't play D&D and finds socialising very difficult, this video works incredibly well as some refreshing life advice for social situations in general. Makes me want to learn the game! Davvy, do you have any content teaching new players? :)
My first 5e campaign one player was constantly “flexing” with how he was saying he could just kill my character if he wanted to and the DM never told him to stop trying to antagonize other group memebers
I'm writing here in hope of getting advice: I have a group.I currently play with, and one of the players asked me to let them introduce a new character. Thing is, when making this new character, as a complete 180 from their previous character they gave her a lot of plot that sounds edgy asf. In reality his character feels most like a put-upon mom that has to keep the party-babies safe. And that's fine, and despite being somewhat belicose everything's in good spirits. However, she is a warlock/oathbreaker multiclass and her patron is affably lawful evil if not chaotic neutral outright. She makes pacts and deals that can make people get screwed over by their own bad decisions. But she is a devil. And thus the party wizard will stubbornly oppose anything that deals with her, even the toll his party member needs to pay, specifically sacrificing various weird animals. Like, the animal attacked them, they killed it and need to excise something from it then send it to her patron. That's all. But he feels like it takes ages to convince him to agree to something and I worry it might be harmful in the long run.
So should I try to do something? If so what? Should I just leave them be? Nobody seems to find it a problem yet, so it might just be just me and I don't want to bring it up with the party or even just the pally player because I don't want to create any tension, ya know? Usually I'm all for that but I feel this is one of the cases I need to even decide whether I take action or not.
If the player is usually reasonable, but feels the character must be stubborn, pull them aside and work with them to figure out how to create situations within the plot that will force them to move past the stubbornness in the short term. In the long term, use your DM powers to incentivize party cooperation and cohesion and disincentivize disagreements. (reward the good and punish the bad)
If that doesn't work, pull them aside again, and try to work out a direction for the character that can make them more... pliable for the sake of not spending 20 minutes a session convincing them to participate.
CAAAARLE!
Caaaaarl, the Orb of Annihilation KILLLLLLS PEOPLE!
Hmmmm I think we are all talking about the super bad Carl Peterson.
Thnx for the advice davvy chappy now I can be even a better player: )
The timing on this is spooky for me. I just yelled at a player in yesterday's session after pestering me with rules about magic during the game. One of those players who tries to get his own way constantly when the situation doesn't go his way. He left the group in a huff. There is more details I'm leaving out and I wont claim I'm completely innocent in the situation which could have been handled better but when you get hounded on the same spell rules over and over again, I lost my temper
Yeah while the dm needs to be consistent the players have to relax and let him handle the rules.
4:07 sauce for this specific image? Stained glass knights look awesome.
Knight of new Benalia - From the Magic the gathering Dominaria set. You might also wanna check out: Danitha Capashen and Benalish honor guard.
Dude this video could've come at a more appropriate time. Because of a potential problem player in my d&d group
Davvy, I want you to know YOU are my favourite ❤
Great vid Davvy ty!
Would really love it if you would differentiate a bit more between problem players, and people just having a REALLY bad time. Due to the pandemic, compounded by that effect on their job
Some of my players have had a bad time this past year, but its ONLY because of external stress from the effects of the pandemic. Its important to recognise the difference
4:00 So... kinda sad Childhood Psych thought... That kind of behavior is learned, not innate. Those players grew up watching their role models use their control of resources (food, shelter, money, travel, technology, etc.) to control the lives of others, and even their own lives. These are the people that grew up hearing "While you're under my house, you will follow my rules. When you turn 18 and move out, THEN you can do whatever you want. But while I continue to put food on your table and clothes on your back, you will do as I say!" every single day of their teenage years.
Problem player example: Davvy Chappy peer pressuring me into being a cool dude by joining his discord lol
Alternate title: how to deal with difficult children.
7:30 Yeah I kind of feel that a DM I have right now is favoring one player. I don't even know why because the player in question seems to think that RP is being an ass to every NPC and often enough to the rest of the party, especially threatening the other characters, forcing us to act out of character to keep the party together. And when one of the characters had enough and took him up on the offer to fight and downed him in a single round of combat the DM got angry with us.
And yet for some reason this asshole character gets way more plot inclusion than the rest of the party combined.
"Quitting" is an 8 letter word, Davvy. "Quit" is 4 letters.
Carl's not the problem player, he's the bbeg
Who remembers Llamas with hats?
I play with my wife, my brother and my best friend. So, I've never had a problem player.
If you don’t let the rogue have a couple of solo, mission impossible stealth bits, why even have a rogue?
Great video!
Thanks for the video.
You are absolutely amazing! I wish that I knew you in real life.
Caaaaaarrrrrrrrlllllll! That kills people!
This video hit too close to home. original DM saw problems with my ex and I as personal problems that we needed to sort out on our and refused to kick both of us despite him being shitty in game. 2 of the 3 other players also didnt want him at the table but his problems werent consistant and mostly targeted me. I played with him for 3 years post break up. When covid happened a I took over as DM because orignal DM hated playing online he created more problems but I didn't feel like I had the right to kick him and I didn't want to lose all my friends by leaving. Finally it took the player who would take over DMing when we can in play in person butting heads that my ex left. He just rage quit between sessions mid module. why? because a person who is immune compomised wanted anyone entering his home to be vaccinated or wear a mask if they couldnt get the vaccine. It's two weeks without him and no one misses him.
I'm a simple man I see Carl I click
You didn't talk about mid maxers what are your thoughts on them
Honestly, i think i am adopting a stop the session or let the game die attitude.
Just dont really want to deal with it, its my spare time after all.
the imgs lol
DnD but more complicated and with higher stakes? I believe that's called Pathfinder 2e
Nice beard!
Caaaarrrlll, that kills people carl!
I would let the problem player continue as is but I wouldn't let them get away without consequences. Even if their character's background and alignment allows for it. If you want to play a evil rogue who kills NPCs and steals from the group, that player better play smarter or they might find themselves at the gallows.
I'm disappointed this video isn't called How to deal with a CCCCCCCCCCCCARL
...So I stabbed him 37 times in the chest
I really wish I could play a campaign with you ...
what about tablebottomers?
Here’s a good DND hot take. I would honestly argue that most DM‘s shouldn’t try to fix problem players. You are not a social worker or therapist. Your only job is to make sure that people are having fun. I’ve tried in the past to talk to problem players and it always just leads to them getting upset making a stink and leaving the group on very bad terms. I’ve had entire groups destroyed trying to deal with problem players. The sad truth is unless you are someone who is trained in dealing with conflict management or de-escalation it’s probably best to just boot them from the group with little to no explanation.