How To Make A Narcissist Feel Sorry For What They Have Done | Peptalk

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 766

  • @ronch550
    @ronch550 2 ปีที่แล้ว +410

    They won't feel sorry for you. They'll feel sorry for themselves because they'll have to face the consequences of their actions. If you think they're feeling sorry for you, think again!!

    • @arianamooon
      @arianamooon 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Right!

    • @ronch550
      @ronch550 ปีที่แล้ว

      @roman sepiol yes they'll die alone.. Nobody wants to be with them. But they'll blame YOU for why everyone doesn't like them. They'll say it's YOU who destroyed their reputation even as they scream at people and hurt them physically, emotionally, psychologically, etc.. What a bunch of **cking ***holes.

    • @vanessahiner1736
      @vanessahiner1736 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      true!

    • @carine4318
      @carine4318 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Spot on - my ex tries with pretty words etc..they are so detached emotionally

    • @tabbylove86
      @tabbylove86 ปีที่แล้ว

      What to do when a narcissric person sexually harassed me and I want to confront them..now I understood there is no use confronting them .but how do I get closure and justice and the feeling of making them accept that they did wrong..will God do that

  • @petergriffiinbirdistheword
    @petergriffiinbirdistheword 2 ปีที่แล้ว +202

    *No contact will not make them care.* But it will help you heal.

    • @palapalak.8907
      @palapalak.8907 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      It's just a loss. It was all a game.

    • @LucyFre
      @LucyFre 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      No... its they who do stonewalling disappearing silence treatment. You wait for explanation. They don't give a fk

    • @StreetGeekz
      @StreetGeekz 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      They won’t care, but they will ruminate on it. Especially if you were able to go no contact before they initiate the discard.
      My ex was angry with me for 2 1/2 years and told she me was while she was having another man’s child. She was dreaming of me and mad that I had left, and wasn’t there for the birth.

    • @marytaylor9504
      @marytaylor9504 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      SO TRUE! But THE SILENCE DOES DEPLETE THEIR EGO'S TO A DEGREE!!!

    • @marytaylor9504
      @marytaylor9504 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​​@@StreetGeekzWhich I DID!!! NO CONTACT!!! AFTER ripping his PHONY MASK OFF HIS LYING PINOCCHIO NOSE!!!

  • @daniellemorse6929
    @daniellemorse6929 2 ปีที่แล้ว +170

    Once we finally heal over the abuse, it does not matter what they think or feel. I will never return to that abuse again. The person that I thought I was in love with never existed and never loved me. Narcs can't love. So happy to be free of the pain that I was dealing with from that toxic relationship.

    • @anamartafaial1916
      @anamartafaial1916 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      No Contact . Forever.

    • @Pugetwitch
      @Pugetwitch ปีที่แล้ว

      I stayed single for 6 years and then I started to date somebody else who has antisocial personality disorder. Very few narcissistic tendencies. he's also on the autism spectrum. His most pressing behavioral issue I've noticed is pushing away and manipulation via threats of stonewalling and self harm. I'm sure he would be clinically diagnosed with borderline personality disorder with multiple antisocial and autistic traits.

    • @OracleTarotBenji
      @OracleTarotBenji ปีที่แล้ว

      takes two to tango ever heard of that the way u speek here is not empathetic or empath at all .. just saying

    • @daniellemorse6929
      @daniellemorse6929 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@OracleTarotBenji You don't know me, so don't assume. Obviously it takes two to tango. No one is perfect in a relationship but no one deserves to be abused.

    • @michaelcoddington3026
      @michaelcoddington3026 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This is so true and how I feel right now as this 20yr/16yr marriage is ending. My heart breaks for my children

  • @sallyjones9144
    @sallyjones9144 2 ปีที่แล้ว +619

    It's not possible for them to feel sorry for what they did.

    • @lesleybrown1583
      @lesleybrown1583 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      They ARE demon possessed 4 yr olds!

    • @truthh8597
      @truthh8597 2 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Exactly.. they will yet again blame you for ‘ruining their reputation’ after you have Exposed them :|
      That’s why they’re always underhanded and sneaky

    • @rayc9899
      @rayc9899 2 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Make sure you don't stop breathing while waiting...LOL

    • @truthh8597
      @truthh8597 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@rayc9899 gahh

    • @lukeskywalker313
      @lukeskywalker313 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@rayc9899 lol

  • @anthonygiachinta3056
    @anthonygiachinta3056 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Rescue a dog . A wagging tail never lies ❤

  • @joyfulstrategy5694
    @joyfulstrategy5694 2 ปีที่แล้ว +192

    Just shut the door to them and live your best life

    • @Richard-vq7ud
      @Richard-vq7ud 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I heard that you can slap them with silence.

    • @danielleking8920
      @danielleking8920 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      For real. They arent worth your thoughts. They are incredibly evil. I wasted so much of my life married to a narcissist and being victim to his flying monkeys. I've been out a year, no contact divorce and I have so much peace now. The damage has been done but with God, I'm healing.

    • @ImranKhan-tj3dr
      @ImranKhan-tj3dr 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hi 😍❤🌷

    • @palapalak.8907
      @palapalak.8907 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Bravo.

  • @kayholdstock1573
    @kayholdstock1573 2 ปีที่แล้ว +283

    You are worth more. Move on, genuine connections with genuine people at a soul level. Fake is empty nothing-ness. Fly high and take genuine people with you as equals 🤩

    • @marylourodriguez9227
      @marylourodriguez9227 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I always thought we had a soul connection but the way it looked at times it was so fake as you say. I will never know since he passed 2 months ago

    • @ninath13
      @ninath13 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      We are definitely indifferent.

    • @Gyle.3559
      @Gyle.3559 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      👍

    • @martiniloganmartinilogan83
      @martiniloganmartinilogan83 ปีที่แล้ว

      💜❤💜

    • @jennamarie2220
      @jennamarie2220 ปีที่แล้ว

      Profound! 👍🏼

  • @Skateborder1
    @Skateborder1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    They feel sorry when you leave cuz they couldn’t manipulate you, they recognized u are a real one.

  • @mhashas1
    @mhashas1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    You know what’s weird, is that when I knew I was done, getting him to understand anything was the last thing I was interested in. I stopped caring

    • @charlotteclark6061
      @charlotteclark6061 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      ...I'm 90% there, feelings are very low...love etc. . I'll let go when I'm ready! He will be just fine torturing someone else later! Unfortunately!

    • @Life_with_Pallavi
      @Life_with_Pallavi ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@charlotteclark6061 I'm also at the same place. 90%

    • @barbarabuttler7647
      @barbarabuttler7647 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That's good because you can't make them feel sorry. The desire to accomplish the impossible is eternally frustrating. It's such a relief to accept reality!!!

  • @mayankajmera
    @mayankajmera ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I felt drowned and thought that I was the only one till i researched about this behaviour and its surprising to see saw many people heartbroken like me here talking the same experience i had gone through, wish we could meet each other somewhere and give each other a deep hug, take care and all the best guys , there must be a reason, leave to God.

  • @loriderewitz7213
    @loriderewitz7213 2 ปีที่แล้ว +73

    No contact (if possible) is the best way to heal. Who in the heck cares how they feel, I just don’t care anymore so the no contact is to help ME get through this and move forward. If my no contact made him uncomfortable at all well? All the better but I’m doing it for me for a change!
    Thank you so much Anoushka!

  • @thestrengthwithin4249
    @thestrengthwithin4249 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    If you wanna get over the narcissist stop listening to stuff like this as it’s only regurgitates problems for yourself, you have all the tools in your toolbox to move on as every time you watch a video like this all day you will think about what they have done to you and how you can get them back, move on you are stronger than you think 💪💚

    • @dub1951
      @dub1951 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I agree 100% exceptance is the key except and move on

    • @mzbarb
      @mzbarb 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I totally agree
      I feel good about leaving him but when I receive a text from him, I end up watching videos and start to ruminate about him for at least a week.
      I hate the ruminating about that relationship and dealing with the reality that he never cared about me or loved me after 6 years.
      I've left and gone no contact so many times.
      It's year 8 and I'm in my 1st week of no contact after 7 months of breaking the last no contact that lasted for 2 months.

    • @thestrengthwithin4249
      @thestrengthwithin4249 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@mzbarb hello sweet cheeks 👋
      I totally understand where you are coming from 🙌
      You have proved yourself one week so far make that into two make it into three etc etc 💪💪💪💪
      Block his phone number. There is no need to contact him and you do not want him to contact you, move on you have ability to do it this time as you do not want to be here in a year or so in the same situation, yes it’s difficult. However, you have the ability to move forward and make a better life for yourself and not let him bring down any more.
      Stay strong 💪 stay positive and lots of love from the UK 🇬🇧
      You can do it 🙌🙌

    • @mzbarb
      @mzbarb 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@thestrengthwithin4249
      Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement 😊

  • @caur739
    @caur739 2 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    They do not seem to be capable of feeling remorse for hurting anyone. And even if they could the feeling is not long lasting and causes no change in behavior

  • @user-cy8os7uc9m
    @user-cy8os7uc9m 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thank you Anoushska. 68 years old & too many years lost. All those years married to a covert narcissist & I just didn’t know what I was dealing with. I couldn’t name it. It’s insidious. Divorced now for 3 years, Fell for the Hoover only to be shattered again. My eyes are now so open. I’m a warrior. Thank you for all the insights that validate me & strengthen me in my resolve to move forward. ❤️

  • @Pattie7291
    @Pattie7291 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    They DONT have the capacity to "feel" anything in regards to someone else, when that person has been impacted by their toxic behavior. They are focused on themselves, and their own twisted desires.

  • @ejm922
    @ejm922 2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    yes, you are so right, do not waste your time on getting back at them, explaining, its a waste of time- just be you, breathe, realise you are the only important thing to work on- they will never be equal to your empathetic beautiful self.give that love to one who feel and wants it- not a dark, pitiful soul.

  • @jamescarpenter3490
    @jamescarpenter3490 2 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    Wow..spot on...never apologizes, no regrets and manipulative. Thanks.

  • @almarti932
    @almarti932 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    I get more love and respect from a rock than I do from my narcissist ex.

    • @keith0377
      @keith0377 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      lol...thats about right

    • @anthonygiachinta3056
      @anthonygiachinta3056 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Rescue a dog ! A wagging tail never lies ❤

    • @anitanash7777
      @anitanash7777 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@anthonygiachinta3056👍😂🤣

  • @vanessagordon7944
    @vanessagordon7944 2 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    The non contact part I really sadistically enjoyed tbh! Watching him scramble around my friends and family was super funny! And then when his flying monkeys saw me not engaging they finally saw that he was a lunatic and he lost many many friends! My non response was such an effective weapon 💯 and I enjoyed every second of watching it all play out like a netflix series. Watching him scramble and hunt to find his new supply, the poor girl. He literally got her from another country, so she has absolutely no idea who he is.... its super tragic. Glad I got out.

    • @elstevens8179
      @elstevens8179 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      GOD SPEED to YOU...... CONGRATULATIONS 🎉🎉🎉 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

  • @sebelzahntigerkind3923
    @sebelzahntigerkind3923 2 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    They don't want anyone back who's seen through what they are. You can be their own child of many decades and they don't even have as much as an apology left for you. All they care about is to preserve their 'image' in front of others, so they can still get their supply off someone else. Those monsters should have their wombs go barren the moment they decide to become narcissists.

    • @thehotcoffeehouse6081
      @thehotcoffeehouse6081 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Could not agree more. My covert abusive narc mother is 96, with zero insight on herself and less than zero remorse for her decades of abuse that have torn our family apart permanently. All she cares about is her image in the eyes of others....if you can believe that, at age 96 for gosh sakes!! I'm no contact for 14 years now but still fervently wish I had been adopted out to loving parents who really wanted to raise a child lovingly. My narc is a soul crusher, so I stay no contact. It saved my life and still does every single day, thank the good Lord.

    • @MJ-qb5ph
      @MJ-qb5ph 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Totally 100 per cent

    • @jadegreen1554
      @jadegreen1554 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      The men should stop being able to get aroused the moment they decide to become narcissists too. But we know that won’t happen. Karma though…

    • @fredericleveque7873
      @fredericleveque7873 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      that is actualy not true. but i guess it is in most cases. but no, a narcisist do not "decide" to become one. you could say it is because at some point they were just too weak against life they found this solution to keep going. but no. you don't decide that. be sure of one thing is that a narcisist is someone deeply sad, with anger against himself before everything else. but it is realy hard to get out of this state of mind if not actualy impossible. talking as one myself here. every human bein have feelings. narcisist is a spectrum, i tend to be on the martyr side, like self devaluating to inspire empathy thing, wich is probably the easiest one to fight because it is actualy a contradiction, so its easier to see it in yourself, but this have causes, its not that you wake up one day and be like "hey! i'm trash i'm gonna tell people i'm trash so they will love me! yaaaaay!"
      i think i did found true love tho, and lost it cause of that, but even that can't be a certainty because i know how my brain works, i might just have tried to get validation or something, yet the point where this relationship ended is the point i started asking myself question and found some answers. and it is an incredibly hard feeling to be so sure that your love is sincere but always doubting it because you know deep down there is that monster lurking and he might trick you into thinking stuff. i developed an overanalytique personality over my life and the combination of both is realy explosive on your mental health. so i can tell bein a narcisist and trying to supress it realy take a huge strain on your mental health. not everyone can accept to suffer like this so i guess most people just get complecent and find other "ressources" while i'm still thinking that, i'm the one for my love and at some point, might be 10 or 20 years from now i'll be reunited with her. and not actualy trying to get any other "ressources" at this point.
      but i'd say the worst thing is that you never know drives you to do things. you always question every single social interaction you have to be sure you are not bein selfish and trying to get stuff from it.

    • @maxcabaitan1732
      @maxcabaitan1732 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Totally 💯 🎯

  • @johi160389
    @johi160389 2 ปีที่แล้ว +121

    It sounds clear but it is also so unfair to realize that someone did you wrong and you end up being the one who got hurt and is still struggling with the journey to heal

    • @sukma5277
      @sukma5277 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Exactly ,it shows how mean they are ,quickly move on to new person. Learn this the hard way, but the lesson learnt

    • @JanetCaterina
      @JanetCaterina ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Injustice is a very frustrating experience. But the great thing is that we can move on to a higher level of maturity, shredders and interpersonal relationships. This totally balances out the scales because we become the winner.

  • @carlaagostinho1306
    @carlaagostinho1306 2 ปีที่แล้ว +127

    So true🙏🙏🙏... Finally got over and found my own closure 🙏🙏
    Learned so much from all of this, it was one of the most challenging times in my life, but I'm so much better today!
    I'm free, and there is nothing more precious than to feel freedom!
    Anouska grateful for your work, it helped me hugely in moments of darkness.
    I'm a better version of myself today... I even thank the narc for all he has done.... Thanks for that I'm the person I am today!
    To all other victims, please : this is the way!!!! You will feel so much "higher" and worthy then before!
    Hope all of the victims of narc abuse find quickly this peace, 🙏🍀

    • @jadegreen1554
      @jadegreen1554 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Please describe more for others about what steps you took (TH-cam channels videos, you listened to that helped; therapies, yogas, practices; books; songs; self care.
      Thank you kindly

    • @carlaagostinho1306
      @carlaagostinho1306 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@jadegreen1554 I followed several channels on you tube and group support for victims of these abuse, got to a point that I realised they were making me understand and rationalise what was going on... Helped me to understand that it wasn't me who was wrong and not worthy... Even though I realised that... It wasn't all pink... Had "angels" by my side 🙏 good and amazing friends who were always pushing the best side of me out... So thankful 🙏
      But despite all of that I wasn't were I wanted, so, one day I woke up and allowed myself to live transforming experiences... Started doing things I wasn't "allowed" , living things I never lived before and.... My God!!! What a transformation 🙏🙏🙏
      Realised that if you allow yourself to express and feel beautiful and amazing experiences you free yourself 🙏
      For me it was music ❤️ started going to several music festivals, meet amazing people from all over the world... And the feeling of freedom was astounding 🙏
      It doesn't have to be music for you, but I really do believe that if you find that one thing that triggers you, you will be able to feel that amazing sensation of freedom 🙏 hold on to it like your life depends on it, and when you notice, suddenly you don't even think about it anymore 🙏 it's all far behind 🙏
      Sharing my path with you 🙏 it worked soooo well for me 🍀
      Took me out of 6 years in a dark place... I know that your personality matters, and we are all different from each other, but I think it's all about giving yourself an opportunity, in spite of giving opportunities to one who don't deserve... Put yourself in the priority position!!!! Always remember YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE!
      I really do hope it helps you 🙏🙏🙏🙏🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀
      Here if you need 🍀

    • @QueenBee-fg1iz
      @QueenBee-fg1iz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@carlaagostinho1306 You are so correct! You MUST put yourself first. I too listened to many TH-cam channels to learn about narcissism. I started putting in time exercising, eating well, sleeping, and meditating. Things I never had time for when I was with my ex. It’s interesting how when you step back and take a good look at your relationship, you then see the truth. I just took a 3 week trip to Europe with my sister and niece. Met amazing people. I did have to go no contact with his family recently as they seem to bring up bad memories. The only person I talk to is my ex’s adult son as we have always been close. He is having a difficult time as my ex is devaluing him for the new supply’s small children. I’m sharing my healing journey and helping him to understand that it has nothing to do with him.

    • @carlaagostinho1306
      @carlaagostinho1306 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@QueenBee-fg1iz that's the way 🙏🤗
      So happy to hear someone got out of the "chain"! Congratulations! Live, enjoy life, receive all the good things live has to offer, if you set your mind to it you will be amazed with how wonderful life can be 🙏🍀
      No contact is crucial 😉
      Keep on the right track 🙏🙌🙌🙌

    • @ruipedro4195
      @ruipedro4195 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Unfortunately I had a short relationship with a narcissist and it took me 2 years to get well. Then I started to study this type of people but it's not easy because they hide their personality and goals well. Some are covert narcissists. Thank you @Carla Agostinho for your testimonial.

  • @chloerodgers692
    @chloerodgers692 2 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    Secret is not to take it personally. It feels personal, it hurts….but they would do this to anyone that gave them what they’ve wanted/needed. In fact, for those of us who have had years of abuse from a narcissist, I’m sure you have a list of those they have used, alienated, reconciled, alienated again, reconciled, etc. etc. etc. It IS NOT PERSONAL. They are just sick.

    • @thegaragedancer
      @thegaragedancer ปีที่แล้ว

      @@kayligo I think we can get more creative.

    • @EbonyNicole000
      @EbonyNicole000 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@thegaragedancer this is true, I dated one. When he didn't get his way, he strangled me. Threw me across my living room then ran out my house. I called the police, this is when he began to stalk me, and said he was sorry (for the first time, ever!) Both to me and my daughter in a grocery store, so won't get locked up! He did his time in jail and house arrest. He came back around almost a half year later only to take back his apology, denying he ever said sorry and blames me for the fines he has to now pay!
      He use to try and put me through a guilt trip saying he almost died in jail. This wasnt true bc when he was released I was told he got out early due to good behavior!
      So this is 100% true, however. Let's not forget. Narc 101. He denied him ever apologizing to me and my daughter when everything was all said and done. 🤦🏾‍♀️

    • @EbonyNicole000
      @EbonyNicole000 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And I forgot to mention, he then made an entire story up, says I tried to fight him first. Which was not true. I never it my hands on him, ever in a aggressive way. He created this entire made up lie in his head to validate what he did. He says IM the one who needed anger management! These ppl are straight clowns, literally.

    • @jhavajoe3792
      @jhavajoe3792 ปีที่แล้ว

      Good reminder- "It's not personal." And good reminder to hang on to friends, allies that are reality based. In younger years, I wanted to punch out a guy, but after talking with another, I realized it was the narc's M.O. to talk crap to everybody. Keep socialized ( communication). I would have been in jail wondering what happened? Easier to let the Narc shoot off his own foot through the years and repeatedly. And Yes: "Violence is the last resort of the incompetent."

    • @jrae95
      @jrae95 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      i needed that reminder today, after nearly 7 months i’m still healing. it still hurts. the last couple weeks feel like it did in the very beginning. no closure, i’m not sure why i even want that. i guess i still take it personally that i’m not worth an explanation or anything at all. it’s a crushing feeling that someone you thought you were in love with turns out to just be a user and a liar and really i guess a coward. with all those things in mind though i still feel hurt in my heart when i think of him, which is too often for my liking. i thought it would be better by now it just feels like i’m falling backwards. and it makes me sick to think he’s probably just living his great life with new supply and just hunky dory and i’m over here still crying some days over memories i won’t let go of. i’m not sure the reason for this experience. i guess i should be grateful it was only a couple years of trauma and maybe he’ll never come back to my life again.. there’s still a want for that and i don’t know why.

  • @matthewtaylor3734
    @matthewtaylor3734 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Grieving is part of healing ✨

  • @missta1820
    @missta1820 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Loved the explaination Anouska. I have gone no contact with total silence as well.
    The Narcissist is every now and then trying to speak to me by door knocking etc.
    All doors are closed and bolted. My time is for myself these days.🎇

    • @missbrooke666
      @missbrooke666 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Get a doorbell camera & keep recordings if you want to get a restraining order xx

  • @Lil_Pixi
    @Lil_Pixi ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Yes, even as this was loading I was thinking to myself "they don't feel sorry because they lack empathy and depth of feeling to experience feeling for anyone else." Spot on, thank you for the wise and kind words, Anoushka. I have recently survived a horribly abusive relationship that lasted a lot longer than it should have, but I'm free now to be me again, and love again. I just hope his next victim realises sooner than I did.

  • @Coupy-pie
    @Coupy-pie ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I thank my ex narcissist, she brought out the best in me haha - I healed my insecurities and it sparked an interest in psychology. if she did come back, I would be open to it but it would be a lot different this time.

  • @danielgoodwin749
    @danielgoodwin749 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you so much its so true word for word I've just left one and I kept making the same mistake going back feeling guilty. I've never met one person who has ever took so much out of me especially when I put so much effort in. It's definitely time for me to get myself back on track and I've learnt so much from this incredibly long hard year with her. Great to see this video keep up the great work its so inportant.

    • @mayankajmera
      @mayankajmera ปีที่แล้ว

      I feel you 😥,it's hard

  • @therealbronxilla
    @therealbronxilla ปีที่แล้ว +10

    My ex-narc is trying to get me to do something for her and I am at the point where I really don't care. Thanks to channels like yours and others, I have a real understanding of what kind of "person" this is. Her discard of me was extremely painful, but I now know that she could care less and my caring doesn't help either. She's imploding - might get evicted, but she did this to herself. I don't wish her harm but there is no way I am going back to being her daily gofer and personal assistant while she goes out with other men. Communicating with her now feels like chatting with a lifeless AI chatbot.

  • @turbodownwarddog
    @turbodownwarddog 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    It's not remorse, it's the lack of supply that will make them mourn.

    • @marytaylor9504
      @marytaylor9504 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes And they know that they will never find another you!!!

  • @pizzamachine4193
    @pizzamachine4193 2 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    My narc has new supply, which is her baby daddy. I've gone no contact and don't anticipate her reaching out. Guess I should be relieved but I'm still in a sad stage. Hang in there.

    • @kaoshi_kutie
      @kaoshi_kutie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You will be okay! ❤

    • @babayaga3738
      @babayaga3738 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I'm in the same boat buddy it's going to be tough but you have to move forward and focus on yourself find a hobby or outlet to keep in mind occupied away from her

    • @pizzamachine4193
      @pizzamachine4193 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@babayaga3738 thank you bro. I’m praying for us both. There’s definitely better days in front of us.

    • @shaheeda
      @shaheeda 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Tim wil heal you.

    • @predadragos1183
      @predadragos1183 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@pizzamachine4193 they don't change and it's painfull eather way stay /leave ! My ex narc cheated on me twice ,became a doormat a walking zombie was hard to let go but I did it ...don't waste your time ,health with such people they don't deserve you !

  • @heavenlygrandma9992
    @heavenlygrandma9992 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    This was absolutely awesome and explained so well.
    I am at that point after figuring out that he was a covert narcissist and didn't love me, that I just don't care what happens after I leave. And I'm not even wishing anything bad on him.
    Forgiving is just letting it go and not holding on to any negative emotions about it.
    But I do hope that he is too old to find another victim for their sake.
    I'm not even angry that I think his treatment of me may have caused my leukemia. The negative emotion associated with leukemia is devaluation. And I've been disabled for 12 years but am gradually improving my health.
    I would one day like to work with women or children or maybe both who have been traumatized by narcissist. Many years ago I made a comment that I'd like to help abused women. What's that saying, "Be careful what you wish for." If I am to do that and I had to go through all this hell to do it, I can't honestly say that I'd ever have made that comment.
    Because I have almost died 3 times and couldn't wear shoes for 8 years or drive for 8 years.
    I had perfect vision and then doctors almost blinded me. The doctors destroyed my body and made me look like I was about 90 years old when I was only in my 50s. Thankfully they didn't destroy my mind and I dumped them and became my own healer. I am also improving my vision. I'm not holding my breath about my teeth that doctors destroyed. I'd have to be able to reach a very high healing vibration to help them.
    But, one day, I will be whole and healthy again and then I will just see where life leads me.

    • @steadypace1262
      @steadypace1262 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Goodness me I can relate to your unnecessary suffering because of careless, cold-hearted medical treatment. I started to think that I was accident prone as I have injured myself a few times in the past but I don't know what it's called when you have other people mainly medically trained practitioners causing silly accidents on your body. I put it down to bad luck and not listening to my hunches more carefully but now I'm thinking that if you still have a narcissist around you their bad negative energy can attract more bad luck into your life. I'm glad your health is improving and will keep on improving, I wish you well.🕊

    • @heavenlygrandma9992
      @heavenlygrandma9992 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@steadypace1262
      Don't put it past a narcissist to be covertly causing the accidents. I don't know, but don't put it past them. I attribute at least part of me getting acute myeloid leukemia to his treatment of me because devaluation is the negative energy connected to leukemia.
      The wife of a narcissist usually had a lot of health issues, but it's not usually connected to that. But negative emotions can manifest into physical illnesses.
      Thanks!

    • @steadypace1262
      @steadypace1262 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@heavenlygrandma9992 True. I have mainly dealt with the more covert type of narcissist's, these passive-aggressive types don't want you to get well at all. They are cold-hearted and indifferent to any serious illness that happens to you. When you are weak it makes them feel strong. Enjoy your day.👍🌝

    • @heavenlygrandma9992
      @heavenlygrandma9992 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@steadypace1262
      That's exactly right. The more miserable you are, the happier they are.
      He put on a good show in public, but in private I was on my own from the moment I got back from having the stem cell transplant.
      Actors... that's all they are.
      He was more mad that he lost his maid and yelled at me when I could not eve wear shoes and was out of breath after only a few steps...
      But that's okay.... it's going to be all his to deal with soon!

    • @steadypace1262
      @steadypace1262 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@heavenlygrandma9992 It sounds like we married the same man lol. Narcissist's are all clones of each other, yucky people they are we have a similar story.🙂

  • @weluvmusick
    @weluvmusick 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Thank you so much I recently went no contact with a toxic individual and Lord knows it’s more than worth it I can surly live without that nonsense

    • @Redpill1962
      @Redpill1962 ปีที่แล้ว

      And that is a good description ! It is utter nonsense from them . Nutty Fruitcakes the lot of them !!

  • @sophiashow3988
    @sophiashow3988 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    She is so right......Don't waste your time on these people and it;s true you hurt them more by living your best life.

  • @mariposa1933
    @mariposa1933 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    You’d have to have a conscience to feel sorry. 🧐😞
    Your channel is a lifesaver. THANKYOU ❤🥰🤗

  • @tinajones5548
    @tinajones5548 2 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    No-one likes to feel irrelevant. That's what no contact is doing to them. They are sorry for themselves for losing control of you. Good luck to them, jog on without me. I've witnessed his karma.

    • @Js-wd6dr
      @Js-wd6dr 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      How did you witness his karma?

    • @tinajones5548
      @tinajones5548 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@Js-wd6dr his image has been blown out of the water. We live in a small village and people have distanced themselves from him. After he discarded me many people have questioned him as to why he would do that to a " good woman ". He is now tolerated in our community not looked up to. He's tried sooo many lies and victim behaviour that people just walk away tut tutting....

    • @joshuaanzalone2060
      @joshuaanzalone2060 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yep Tina they lost control and they have to face themselves and they hate it.

  • @Mia-zb2xr
    @Mia-zb2xr 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    you made me live again . thank you again ❤

  • @philipzanoni
    @philipzanoni ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you. I needed to hear this. I've removed everything you mentioned but my energy. And enough time has gone by now where I feel strong enough to unplug that last life line.
    Now.. it's gonna be all about me and my health. Physical mental and emotional thank you again for your perfectly described methodology to help me become 100% free from the bondage of a narcissist

  • @qwickvids1140
    @qwickvids1140 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Even if they say sorry, its a sorry that is passive. Its not genuine they dont walk in their apology. They just say the words i apologize for how things turned out…” not sorry for their actions. I just got off the phone with my narc ex. This video is so spot on.

  • @jennifer78756
    @jennifer78756 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Thank you Anoushka, this has been validating and the video on the silent treatment, that narcissists are insecure.

  • @hikarialuqito9990
    @hikarialuqito9990 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    There was one time when my long-friend did hurt me so bad and i didn't know how i was the one who ended up asking forgiveness to her, as if i was the one who had hurt them while she was the one who leave deep scars in my heart.
    your video is just amazing! it's on spot! thank you for sharing for us. God bless!

    • @mayankajmera
      @mayankajmera ปีที่แล้ว

      Oh man, I feel you 😥

    • @kevinowens6010
      @kevinowens6010 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah Brother that is from the dark side. These Narcs share a collective energy source. A invisible plug in. Turn everything fucked up they DID on you and punishment is required.

  • @sharon2674
    @sharon2674 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thank you for the clarity...I am on the right path and responding the right way. This helps and won't look back!!
    I have not corresponded or responded and have removed myself completely from this energy and person!!

  • @joelleelkhoury9803
    @joelleelkhoury9803 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Everytime I try to point out his faults, he tells me I can accept all your states: angry, sensitive, sad, etc… but I cannot accept your weakness.
    And this is when I realised that he’s the weak one who doesn’t want to admit it.

  • @mrgordy1980
    @mrgordy1980 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I’m reading the title and already thinking this is impossible
    Edit: brilliant advice. Thank you 🙏🏼

  • @ladybug9708
    @ladybug9708 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Every word you said was exactly what I needed to hear. It’s so hard to accept the truth. It’s so sad!!! Thank you so much for the eloquent way you say such hard things. You are truly helping many people get out of awful situations and with this knowledge hopefully many people will never even think of entering a toxic relationship. Much LOVE! 💜💚💜💚

    • @LidiaGonzalez-ne8uy
      @LidiaGonzalez-ne8uy 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I feel bad just had a anger explosion with my husband and had to end the relationship if we can call that that I think his now looking for new supply or maybe already having sex with someone as I’ve been told he goes to the dark sts at night so probably I know if will hurt but I also know he didn’t cared for my person

    • @LidiaGonzalez-ne8uy
      @LidiaGonzalez-ne8uy 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Only to control and manipulate my person

  • @richf8248
    @richf8248 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    All of this is so new to me. I've never had so much confusion and being hard on myself. After watching these videos, I now feel more hurt and absolutely stupid. Every single question I had about why things were so weird between, us and why I walked on eggshells, I now understand. When I found out the truth from all of these videos, it absolutely killed me and just destroyed my heart. I'm around 7 months of no contact and damn, it still hurts. I have never felt like this for anyone before her. I thank all of these channels for all of the insight. Now, everything I was confused about, was just illuminated from all of these. I also thank all of the comments here for sharing their stories. I don't feel so alone now, and crazy. I'm still healing from this, but learning all that I can to possibly share with someone else up the road. Also, I know now that she wasn't really in love with me and it was all just BS, but this has made me stronger as a man, an empath, and just a person in general. Maybe now, I'll be ready for a truly wonderful woman. Thank you everyone, and thank you to this channel, for all of the much needed insight.

  • @djw8504
    @djw8504 ปีที่แล้ว

    This channel helped me thru my very painful breakup with my ex Narc! I am so grateful! Keep moving forward! It’s so worth it to stay away and look after yourself! I’ve never felt healthier and happier!! 🙏💪❤️

  • @shipraasaini
    @shipraasaini ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Well said.....no contact is best way to take out negativity from life as well. Loved your energy.

  • @rwsocks11
    @rwsocks11 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    They have you replaced before the break up anyway, they have plenty people who supply them so after a little time passes why would they ever think of you......... they just move on and repeat, they don't care if it's you or someone else providing their needs........... needs being met, no need to think of you

  • @brendanbiddle4875
    @brendanbiddle4875 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    They never care, there’s not a thing you can do but do you and move forward!

  • @douglascapellato6971
    @douglascapellato6971 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Wow! Thanks for this video. Came like a sign for what I am living in my personal and professional life. Thanks for this gift 🙏

  • @susanjaneterry1073
    @susanjaneterry1073 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    No contact turned him into an obsessive stalker. Feel sorry? Don't bet on it. Does a cat who just killed a mouse feel bad about it? Well, neither does the narc. Ir's the same challenge the cat feels when he sees the mouse. All about the chase. The predator and his prey. Feelings? What feelings? You'd get more from a bronze statue in the middle of the park.

  • @abeden9898
    @abeden9898 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You are absolutely brilliant Anoushka.

  • @lisavansant961
    @lisavansant961 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for this video it's true 100% I've been in no contact for a while now I'm feeling so much better focusing on myself for once and trying to live my life. Thank you I enjoy your work and appreciate it.

  • @gozitan5
    @gozitan5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    True NPD won’t feel anything and definitely not sorry…..great presentation. Thanks.

  • @douglasmiller1212
    @douglasmiller1212 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Probably the best, simplest, honest, and spot on video on this subject I've seen.

  • @edgreen8140
    @edgreen8140 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Not gonna happen. Their needs and lack of attachment. Yes no contact. I totally agree. They are to impaired to benefit from anything.
    You confronting them is just challenge fuel and then their need for vengeance. Stop thinking your dealing w a normal person. Personality disorder tells you it's really bad. Rigid ways of relating to the world in all areas.

    • @lamentate07
      @lamentate07 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That is the problem. It's easy to keep pondering 'what ifs?' while forgetting that they are not normal.

  • @Jelly.G
    @Jelly.G 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Yes you helped me realize what I've been telling myself thank you

    • @dejasarafian531
      @dejasarafian531 ปีที่แล้ว

      And what have you realize this while?

  • @CCTOOLE
    @CCTOOLE ปีที่แล้ว +4

    What a face! Her wisdom and her beauty made me forget my narcissist for a minute.

  • @kaamilahismail2299
    @kaamilahismail2299 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    So true. I did my research etc and learnt alot over the years regarding a narcissist. Thank you for spreading awareness. These kind of pplm really suck the life out of you. If you allow them 2! Take control of your life and let them go.

  • @deb2319
    @deb2319 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Good Advice. Thankful for your wisdom!

  • @mevolveme
    @mevolveme 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You helped me sleep last night. Just wanted to say thank you

  • @TuerlingsTim
    @TuerlingsTim ปีที่แล้ว

    Totally agree. Be proud of yourself and search for peace, relaxing time
    And happiness. Let them proceed with there own game, good luck😉

  • @sumayakenan6955
    @sumayakenan6955 ปีที่แล้ว

    This video is the best by far God bless u on the path to paradise

  • @octavia9464
    @octavia9464 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You are awesome 👌 right on point with just what a narcissist is!!!

  • @jhavajoe3792
    @jhavajoe3792 ปีที่แล้ว

    Excellent. Clear reasoning not to waste time, energy and emotion.

  • @Newdealcrew
    @Newdealcrew ปีที่แล้ว +1

    this was so good

  • @Jkoch1983
    @Jkoch1983 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Quite sensible. I completely agree with you 😊

  • @davidhodgson5252
    @davidhodgson5252 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you young lady
    You have helped me so much I send you kisses and hugs 🤗😘💖❤ Thank God for people like you !!

  • @estefaniagomez1440
    @estefaniagomez1440 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Anoushka!!!! You are fantastic!! Thank you for all your videos!!!

  • @susanweaver6946
    @susanweaver6946 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    After the many times of leaving and going back I finally went absolutely No Contact. It's been months now. He has tried to get to me through flying monkeys, leaving letters hand delivered in my mailbox, parking across the street watching me. I ignore all his advances. I'm over it!!

  • @janniestanley
    @janniestanley 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Thx for this. No one addresses when it’s your adult children. That’s when it’s so, so hard. The estrangement. Don’t know what we did to contribute to the narcissism. It’s said the parents created this issue. But we’ve done everything for our kids. Anyway, I’m getting there. I’m working on it. There’s still communication from one of our kids but only if it concerns our grandchildren.

  • @grettaadams3158
    @grettaadams3158 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks!

  • @uncleboslifelessons2448
    @uncleboslifelessons2448 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you, this video was a big help.

  • @AlexanderGonzalez-qp4tj
    @AlexanderGonzalez-qp4tj ปีที่แล้ว

    Also great the presentation and outfit. No distractions. Thank you

  • @amandalidey329
    @amandalidey329 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow. These videos. Sometimes, it can be a lot, but I appreciate u speaking on it.

  • @DavidAlfredoGuisado
    @DavidAlfredoGuisado 2 ปีที่แล้ว +135

    They don't care about how you feel, they don't care if you keep "no contact" or not, I'm sorry to disagree here but it's been proven time and time again they couldn't care less about your actions once they moved on in the arms of someone else. If the narcissist misses you or feels whatever emotion when you're done with them then they're not actually a narcissist.

    • @lamentate07
      @lamentate07 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      They may not care now, but they often do eventually care later when they try to get in contact with you. This is especially true if you are were a secondary source. There is less animosity towards secondary sources, but ultimately narcs think they own you.
      In the end, it doesn't matter. We have to spend our time more wisely with genuine people who are worth our attention.

    • @deb2319
      @deb2319 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      they care that you got awaY!

    • @truthh8597
      @truthh8597 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      They only care about losing supply.. not losing you

    • @indiesindie1984
      @indiesindie1984 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Exactly 💯! Move on and don't let them rent space in your head!

    • @tinajones5548
      @tinajones5548 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      They care about what you might say and to whom, then they trip themselves up constantly. They are paranoid. Foolish people living a delusional life.

  • @heidiyoung2050
    @heidiyoung2050 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for this information. As I know someone going through this now as I'm supporting them the best I can as a friend.

  • @donnaholton1981
    @donnaholton1981 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Sad that there are people in this world that intend to hurt others that would never do anything to hurt anyone on purpose.

  • @rodneyrichardson8286
    @rodneyrichardson8286 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you.

  • @johnjuneau1282
    @johnjuneau1282 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you .thank you. for your help and information wow I will put your information to use 👍

  • @suskelleykelley7241
    @suskelleykelley7241 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I knew I was healed is when I don't care if they miss me or not! Don't care what they say think or feel about me. I want nothing from him!! Yes I'm not MAD anymore and truly wish the best for him from a far and hope he finds happiness

  • @cinemaunitestheworld
    @cinemaunitestheworld 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you for this, I really appreciate it!

  • @alcudiababe1
    @alcudiababe1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I know people say that you're doing the forgiveness for yourself and your healing and yourself (easier said than done) but for me I can be very, very angry for a long time because of what the person has done especially if I was close to them and then I can be like I'm done, I'm done being angry, I'm deciding to be at peace and I work towards closure. So, it's not that I've forgiven them it's more I value my sanity more to then be at peace - because I have learnt that you're not going to get closure all the time from others so then I'm just working towards radical acceptance of the situation because when you accept something truly for what it is you have no desire to go back and change it

  • @hafiseanwar1366
    @hafiseanwar1366 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks for a great and easy to understand video.
    I agree with your point , and i speak from personal experience the most effective way to deal with a Narc is to go no contact!

  • @AhanVlog
    @AhanVlog ปีที่แล้ว

    One of the best video
    ....
    Forgive yourself
    It's does not matter to take revenge

  • @kristahunter1588
    @kristahunter1588 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow you have some great videos got me thank you. Getting a better understanding of the narcissist problems

  • @Peter-swe
    @Peter-swe ปีที่แล้ว

    You speak so clear. Thank yo so mutch!

  • @emmanuelpower2439
    @emmanuelpower2439 ปีที่แล้ว

    Makes plenty sense. Thank you. Yes... the moment i started withdrawing energy, things started to change for the better. Now totally cut. Freed.

  • @gbuddy80
    @gbuddy80 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    100% real life here! Really happen! i did this and it works this is validation

  • @silverlining5796
    @silverlining5796 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    yes finally!! their sorrow it's most important as it helps forgiving which brings healing. but..

  • @garfantu
    @garfantu ปีที่แล้ว

    Excellent, like all your videos which have helped me immensely in overcoming my recent experience with a serious narc. Thanks

  • @tilanarosslee2024
    @tilanarosslee2024 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you..😊 saved me alot of wasted time

  • @kayceraeBlueEyedDanger
    @kayceraeBlueEyedDanger 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    If you don't believe or if you doubt what she is gifting to you is true, ask me to tell you my story, then you will. The biggest payback IS healing yourself, and the best part, you are doing it for you, you give to yourself what no one else can. And all this self healing, love, learning about who you are, cherishing your uniqueness, establishing your boundaries, is just the beginning to finding happiness within you. The journey of self discovery is like none other and it's yours. When you grow, there is no more room for the weeds.

  • @lionelwarunlikebefore4249
    @lionelwarunlikebefore4249 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great video mam. One of the best I've heard on the subject. Thanks.🌹

  • @celinerose7042
    @celinerose7042 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you so much. Your words really helped me.

  • @Drizzlestreetwear
    @Drizzlestreetwear 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This talk was so helpful! Do I have space to think? Time for me? Not when I was with my ex Narc. I had to leave and already after two weeks I’m feeling better despite the trauma bond. Thanks so much for your wisdom!

  • @The_BlackDragon
    @The_BlackDragon ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you ❤ god bless you 😊

  • @katiew681
    @katiew681 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is a brilliant video. Thank you.

  • @roseli3173
    @roseli3173 ปีที่แล้ว

    Your talking is amazing and totally agree 👍....