On point I now have multiple sclerosis....u cant complain if u r sick But they would get medical help immediately n recover if they r sick ....to torture n torment the empaths I would like to know why ? Nobody has answered this question But we analyze it Why ?
Blocking them on social media, and ignoring them in public, absolutely burns them up and triggers the mental illness within them. When they can no longer reach you because you treat them with indifference, it works.
Sometimes it makes them happy, because they take it as your weakness. If you block someone, you're pissed - and that still gives them power - it's really heavy
Guys... My narcissist Girlfriend who betrayed me - was forced by me to Block me on whatsApp & Instagram... I feel so relieved now... My logic is simple... If I haven't broken the relationship, why should I Block her.. So I forced her to Block me 😅😅
@@yarabia I disagree. Blocking them and going no contact permanently isn't about being pissed, it's about taking back your own power and control over your life. If we're focused on how THEY take things then we're not ready to be set free.
The last time I spoke to him was back in Jan of this year. I spoke my peace and cut off the conversation, before he had a chance to open up his big mouth start his insults towards me. I was gone, like proof, just gone! Blocked him and never answered anything else he had to say. I have to say it felt great. He has done this to me so many times. It felt so good to be just as cold as him. I know he got to see how it all feels now. This is for all the times he has disrespected me, cheated on me and lied to me. Proud to say, that I have made it up 141 days of no contact so far.
I cut off all narcissists in my life and was amazed at the good karma that started flowing in. It might be tough at first as an empath, but you will definitely not regret it.
I have whole family over 40 of them.. abuse doesn’t stop. I miss them and can’t let go anxiety depression.. it’s so hard I heard I have to heal wounds…
@@SA-px3ln The hard part is accepting they'll never be healthy people who want to see you succeed. Once your mind can fully process that, you'll be able to detach, and then things really take off in a positive way, I'm living proof.
@@SA-px3ln It's an emotional journey and a battle to overcome demonic people and our own personal demons, no one would believe the nefarious things people have tried to do to me, and now I'm grateful for all of it, because it has made me who I am today, and I'm still trying to level up as far as I can go. I believe life is about struggle, and once I changed my mindset to embrace the challenges, everything changed for the better. I recently had a life long dream of mine come true right out of the blue, no joke. I still watch videos like this to keep my skills sharp and also to root on others like yourself.
Same . Mother, aunt, and 'fiance' who cheated on stop... My physical health has been Soo bad dealing with them, rather be alone and peaceful. Stay strong Sistar ❤
This particular video is exactly what I needed to hear to remain no-contact with my ex. Absolutely mind-blowing to watch myself (logical, reasoned, purposeful etc) be ensnared in trap after trap trying to save her soul.This stuff is heartbreaking actually. The idea of letting go of someone FOREVER after a close relationship seems unnecessary and dramatic....that is, unless you are talking about letting go of a narcissist. This is soul warfare. A narcissist will try to take your soul. The GIFT from the narcissist, however, is the reawakening of your childhood trauma. They will show you what you need to work on. They will be brutal, raw and unjust. They will strip you bear. In the end, however, I chose myself. I am worth more than what this person was doing to me. You cannot love them or try to understand them. You will always be the little boy crying with his arms out for his mother. They will whip you with this, lash after lash, UNTIL YOU CHOOSE YOURSELF. That is all there is to it. You either choose to respect and love yourself and walk away....or you get destroyed. It does not matter how smart / high emotional IQ you believe you are. We are no match for them. They have been doing it their entire lives. You will be forever in a maze that is designed by them to lead you nowhere.
Bravo! Well said. 👊✨🙏🌟 Thanks for this. I came back to this video and your post really resonates with me again. I had to admit I can't win. I really tried to help them but they became bored, treated me badly and when I blew up, which is what they wanted of course, devalued me, discarded me, destroyed my name and reputation completely. I have to cut myself off from the trauma bond. It's the only way. 🏃🏃🏃
Perfectly expressed. In the very beginning, after the love bombing, My X admitted that they have been like this their entire lives and they are not changing at 60. It was then that I started researching…and, found narcissistic personality disorder. As an empath, I was ripped to shreds and they walked away laughing
40 years of torture and finally started distancing myself emotionally from my husband. Had no idea what narcissism was. Thought he was just confused. Some days I am successful to emotionally detach myself yet other days it’s misery again. Can’t leave as have nowhere to go.thank you so very much for this video.
Yes, here's a strategy I decided upon. It seems crazy but it's actually working...... I decided to take full responsibility/blame for everything the narc did to me. I apologized even though they should have apologized to me. I accepted blame for it all. Now I'm free because I have been brought so low by them, that the only way is UP, WITHOUT THEM!!!In capitulating totally to them I have paradoxically set myself free, to go ahead and live my best life, choosing ME at all times and only letting good, decent people into my life from now on. I have taken the power from them. They 'win' and now their spell over me is broken, I hope they have no further interest in me, just like I no longer have any dealings with them. Peace at last. 🙏
You will get there, its hard, you grieving. It will pass and you will start to feel like your old self again, stay strong and seek the Lord to also help you through this difficult time.
Do not reach out or communicate with them at all and you will find yourself at peace and not thinking about them as much day by day. It’s a great feeling to have your power back. Silence and moving on is the best thing you can do for yourself and your health. Stay strong
It is true they win all the time and there is no getting back at them because nothing phases them. They are the biggest con artists and everything is a game to them. They can win an academy award for their performances.
It's challenging when you're in trauma bond, I'm glad I went no contact, but I miss parts of him. This is where it is at, but I have to remind myself what he did to me.
Give them nothing ! Nothing ! None of your time , none of your energy , no contact , no exceptions . Going thru a divorce after 35 years together , it is never too late ! Once you know , that ‘s it , get out , run .
Guys... My narcissist Girlfriend who betrayed me - was forced by me to Block me on whatsApp & Instagram... I feel so relieved now... My logic is simple... If I haven't broken the relationship, why should I Block her.. So I forced her to Block me 😅😅
This helps make sense to me. I went NC for 8 months & caved. He came in strong & had me believing he missed me, he was sorry, he wanted me. Then after 1 month I went to his house. We had a beautiful time. I thought a real connection. He hugged me goodbye & said he would text. 3 days went by & no text! I tried calling only to find I was blocked! I jumped on FB messenger & he blocked me immediately! He did this to get back at me...for revenge for the NC for those 8 months! It's sick!!!
Omg if that was the case it was pure evil!! Did he ever reached out to you all this time since you left this commemt? Sorry this as%%% did this to you❤
Wow! So cruel. I'm sorry that it happened to you, I know it has to be painful. When I finally made a decision to go no contact 60 days ago, I wanted to make sure my mind was made up and that it would be permanent for reasons you just stated. In the back of my mind I feel like he's capable of doing something similar. He showed up at my house a week ago but I didn't respond. I refuse to give him an opportunity to plead his case because it's already closed for good!
HOLD ON TO YOUR HAPPY GO LUCKY SELF. IT'S THERE. BEEN DORMANT. USE IT. THINK OF THE THINGS THAT DELIGHT YOUR SOUL. DON'T ALLOW A NARCISSIST ACCESS TO YOUR SACRED BEING❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Overcoming a narcissist is a big challenge that can lead to true self-love and eventually to finding the person that belongs in your life. Like the universe, god, tell as you please is sending an obstacle we must pass over to find our true selves and acknowledge our true potential. It's like a battle between good and evil, love and hate. Love always wins in the end. But revenge is unnecessary because these people are already hurt and don't know what love is. Moving on with respect for you and others.
Totally agree with everything you've said. Do not play their game. Dig deep and gather you're strength for yourself. Revenge is going to effect you more because THEY don't CARE about the consequences of their actions but YOU DO CARE. Don't sink to their level. Be smart, be quiet, be safe...
This is true. I hate playing games but sometimes as you're making your exit it's good to be unpredictable and throw them off the pattern so they'll be confused.
And that's exactly what I did. I use to tell him everything I knew. I stopped confronting, stopped challenging and started silently observing. Makes it harder for them to figure out how to play you.
I agree. I think calling out their behavior and trying to hold them accountable and holding your boundaries is something that is needed with these people. The only way they can continue with their behavior is by people being completely dismissive toward them. Most people just let them fully get away with everything which I don’t think works in anyone’s favor. Don’t expect them to own up to what they have done or feel bad though. It simply won’t happen.
After all the pain he PURPOSELY caused me, makes me happy to have him realize I am stronger than he thought and I choose me at the end of the day. Got a text from a number I didn't recognize saying he was in trouble, no cards, no car keys ECT and ' could I meet him to help a bit' 😅😅 nuts and said I was in a dv shelter with a protective order I don't have yet and blocked. So grateful he is not my responsibility. Rock on Sistar ❤❤
No contact means closing the lolly shop, no more nasty childish tantrums. Moved address and dissapeared leaving narc forever with nothing just as I got from knowing them. I do like your chanel, hard but best advice!
I went No contact and it worked. I didn’t answer phonecalls or messages at all. No contact is the best way to cut off the supply and they will be living a nightmare if you do.
Narcs dont feel pain ,remorse ,regret They hurt when u r better than them ,become popular ....which is hard cos they isolate u...,smart, friendly,loving towards others even ur own kids etc😮
They love you being in the gutter. It proclaims their innocence. But your in the gutter due to the abuse. Time heals. You DO get up and move on. My case took me way over a year. By that point people have other things to talk about. It’s old news. No contact. No gutter. No games. No more control. That’s when they care. Cos you don’t
Good day,my one always break up, say I'm cheating with her with my ex, making up stories about me in my face,calling me rude names,she is so cold with no emotions at times, she have different personalities and her face changes at times, when we spend time alone she is happy and looks like a 16year old but she is 55 but looks like one in her 30's
Already began doing this. It is freeing and feels good to have the control. My narcissist was just a guy I dated for very shirt period of time but were in small community and unless I'm willing to give up playing music I'll need to see him. He's a very dangerous narcissist. He admitted to me that hecaused his wife to commit suicide! On purpose because he didnt want to pay her alimony when they divorced. She, unlike me, was weak from living with a narcissist 14 yrs! She drank and used drugs. These people can be extremely dangerous. All He's done to me has been to turn people against me in the music community we share. I ignored it and now they're beginning to come around again. The narcissist announced his engagement this fall! Another victim Scary!
Thank You❤ only dated them 7 months and I already kicked them to the curb. She’s right guys you have to not care,. give up and no longer contact them and that’s how you win by simply giving up.
Towards the end of the discharge still had no clue what this was. I went out side to my car and would listen to the ballgame LOL this got her raging cause what would the neighbors think . She was also a big "Karen" She would get mad if anyone even parked near or in front of the house! So I moved after 8 years of You know what . I cried for 3 years then before I found out what this was. going on 8 months no contact like you taught us its gone . Sure moments of the trauma bond still but when you exposed the dark empath everything clicked they feed off the super empath me...TYSM
I felt so weak not actually fighting back, but she showed me evil in the end like I had never seen before. I was so confused about what I had done to deserve that. This was after she filed for divorce, and told me she was already seeing someone else never talking to me about us. God told me to let it go and be done with it as soon as possible, so I did. Then I found out she checks all the narcissist boxes and started to feel lucky for not fighting back. Yah, she always wanted to compete and win, but this time it felt like she wanted me destroyed. I was still so confused that the person I loved so much would…… so now no contact and afraid of her trying to come back to me, knowing what I know now.
Thank you these demons are operating on the spiritual realm. They cause so much pain and suffering. If we did not want the table turned, we would not be human. We must go no contact and let the universe handle it.
My situation was totally different but thank you. I almost died and hippa refused to tell me about narcissistic rage. They protect the bad and expect us to figure it out.🤡👈🏻
He lives 2 houses from me!!!!! He moved on SO QUICKLY and she now lives there!! This is torture for ME!! Total betrayal. I can’t afford to move right now 🤬
Hey let it go ,remember she is being treated the same awful way he treated you. There will be new ones every so often and he will never be happy. 😂 consider it a lucky escape ❤❤❤❤
There is one thing I would like to add as far as winning against a narcissist. Win your identity back. Most narcissist create a narrative of being the victim of their past relationships. I used to advocate my narcs story of victimization against his ex partners and other people he took advantage of. I felt a real conviction to reflect upon it and as for God's forgiveness and really open up to the truth of what really happened which is probably the same that happened to you and if they had children with them even worse. I have since stated to our mutual friends how badly I feel that I spoke against them now knowing there may be different facts. It has been a huge release of the hold this relationship had on me for I feel no longer a flying monkey in their fake bubble of friends and family. I have disconnected completely to anyone who has daily contact with him and embracing a new identity with family and friends that did not fall for his false persona. I do not try to persuade the ones that did. Bless them on their way. I bought a new phone and installed only the contacts I wish to continue in my new life. All pictures, accounts, videos etc... are deleted. I get on social media and create positive quotes like "I am not a survivor, I AM a THRIVOR. The best revenge is to be thriving without them which is what you can because you are no longer emptying yourself into their empty souls that have a never ending pit of despair, drama, and manipulation that will bring them to a unfulfilled life sooner or later. The new supply are just as miserable as you were if not more, especially when they are older. Aging seems to bring in a depraved mind that is not so easy to hide. You broke free - Good job! You will not be the one having to be their caretaker one day or worse depending on them to take care of you. Statistics show they end up abandoning you emotionally if not physically which is worse because they silently abuse you and you are now helpless to even have the power to leave on your own. I do self videos for journaling and then play them back. I think I am growing up and becoming a new me. I am really starting to love myself. More importantly I am healing and my faith in God is keeping my eyes on the Creator and the great plans that can be waiting for me when I apply myself. I spend 20 minutes in the morning with some healing methods and it's a game changer as well. It really is a great time to be alive when you kick the addiction of a narcissist.
Not interested in revenge. They already know the pain they’ve caused, because they feel nothing except emptiness and self hatred all the time. I just want the attachment and the longing to go. I want to stop needing them and missing them all the time, and be able to think about something else.
it's funny because I saw your title to your TH-cam and I said oh no not another one from someone else but I still thought I'd give it another try and boy am I glad I did. My gosh you said some things that really resonated with me. I've learned from others on TH-cam about narcissism and they're awesome but the way you put things are so simple but still intellectual and professional, warm yet strong. You're such a beautiful lady but it's your heart that's beautiful above all. I want to continue to learn from you. You have no idea how grateful I am for you. I am just stunned by what you're making me aware of, what I'm dealing with and how to handle it. Hope you can also help how to handle elderly parents that are narcissistic and how we can go about protecting ourselves as we care for them without dealing with too much financially, emotionally and physically and more which can be incredibly painful and draining. I believe in forgiveness, praying for others and I know that God will avenge us for anything that has been wrongly done to us by. anyone but I know we must also have boundaries and to keep away from evil people. Thank you ever so much and thank you for caring and helping us and may God bless you and bless you for all you do. . Stay wonderful beautiful loving and kind lady. I mean. From thar the bottom of my heart as a sister to a sister. 💖🥰💖
I'm into 7 weeks no contact as you mentioned my ex narcissist is dead to me, I have a friend who is friends with my ex on fb who keeps asking me questions how my weekend went might be wrong but I'm starting to think she is telling my ex what I am saying
Yeah, l think she's a flying monkey. Minimize communication with her. Or if you have to answer to any of her questions reply back with a white lie. (Of course don't make it obvious).
That 'friend' is a flying monkey for rhe narc. Fade that person out of your life gradually, or simply block them and the narc. That 'friend' is the narc's spy, not your friend at all. Get away and stay away.
I started doing this after the Hoover stage. He actually got me texting him every single day and then it dawned on me that he was looking for supply. It felt off texting him, like I was on the verge of starting to chase him, so I recognized that and slowly started disengaging with him. The reason why I started talking w/ him again in the first place was because I wanted the smear campaign to stop. I couldn’t take it anymore and then I started dating someone else and was like he’s going to completely try and kill that relationship. So I’ve been super silent about dating someone, I gave them what they wanted while knowing that I was slowly going to back away. I hate being this manipulative, it’s not my nature, but it’s not my first rodeo with these kind of people either. Just know the stages of and realize when they start love bombing you again it’s just leading up to a discard of some kind and they will not spare your feelings or emotions causing additional damage.
I cannot thank you enough for this absolutely AMAZING message you are helping me soooo much I'm in a dark place atm narcissist lives next door and have to use the same path while they sit on the front with his women drinking laughing in front of me what do I do 🙏🙏🙏😢😢😢😢😢
Could never wrap my head around the “ competition mindset,” which increases as jealousy and envy , control and gossip ensues. It’s good to know others best to know thyself! I don’t play or stay in relationships with people like this anymore. Exhausting!Therefore, my lessons have been such that I feel as though I’ve won the Nobel Peace prize!
Greetings! I appreciate and celebrate all that you have done to understand narcissism in an excellent way. I pray that GOD will give you the desires of your heart. You are a beautiful woman. Be encouraged in all matters of your life!
You explain very well , & i also tried to heal a narcissist but she flipped into the next moment and continue to destroy herself and her family life !!!!!!! Narcissist cannot change ✅ There life is of only last upto 40 years , After that they will living their life with their own karma ..... Their mind will be the reason life are living but reality is they are dying everyday, every minute & every seconds 👍
“To oppose something is to MAINTAIN it… You must go somewhere else: you must have another goal: then you walk a different road” URSULA LEGUIN 🙏🏽💔🙏🏻 Blessed be…
Excellent and very helpful video! Once we understand what went on, there are so many memories that get re-assembled re-cataloged in our brain. We see how the "relationship" was messed up and unhealthy, often even at the best of times, and that we were so unable to understand it in the moment ... All that retrospection and rumination makes one to want to have our "say" reach the narcissist, to let them know we're on to their toxicity. But, like you said in the video, they'd only discount our perceptions and feel filled by the fact we've spent time attached to a memory of them. When I think of "letting go" as the ultimate revenge, then it becomes a very powerful tool. A tool I needed very much ... Thank you for this concept!!
I infact have a heart..I think they should just enjoy themselves while they getting the guys...once you grow up and has been honest and still receive this..them wish them all the best
The spring is slowly approaching in the Northern Hemisphere, and I assure you, when the warmer weather comes in and the nights get longer, unbalanced people get just-that-little-bit more imbalanced; be on the lookout for road ragers, Karens demanding to speak to managers and snooping exes to peak ~mid-May.
If you wanna bunch them to their core, you do not do anything. Just completely ignore them. They will die inside Out, the more they try to get your attention the more you ignore them. This way can lead them to ☠️
They torture you for no reason. I know when im doing well as the narc friend starts coming at me harder. Only recently that i realsised they are a narc. The worst part is gas lighting and manipulation. My narc 'friend'(enemy) of 36 years spreads rumours like wildfire is toxic and i think no contact is best. My only issue is they will carry on spreading rumours anyway and i will have to sit back and take it. They want to destroy everything i do. Great advice thanks.
Hi my coach you are really helping us people who have no idea about this kind of people especially how to handle them, and if still leaving with them the same house is just another story.
Hi wonderful person u r still hurting inside too , so hard to let someone go u really care for, Iam still hurting after 4 months I want her back but I don’t if that makes sense,I never new about narcissists , thank you for your support and true words 😊🤗
I have no choice as my son’s wife keeps leaving and coming back over 25 years and we live next door. We are retired and can’t leave and we watch our son living a life walking on glass and not wanting to lose everything he’s worked for. 😢
In all of her videos I've seen so far, she says cut them out of your life, go no contact. Are there any videos that address what to do when you have minor children together? The court ordered 50/50 custody. Cutting him out isn't an option. Currently, I try to wait at least 24 hours to respond as a subtle message that he is no longer important enough to deserve an immediate response. I try to answer texts succinctly. I try to contact him only when absolutely necessary and only about the children. I use my lawyer for all other communication. But he keeps dragging me to court.
I don’t want to harm her in any way. A little salt or creating a little wound and a little salt in it I don’t mind much. Just a little. However I feel so thrown into the garbage. I miss her. Even her angry words are better then the silence. I’ve left her alone since new years. I’ve let her go and moved on. This lady is amazing in the video. I have a long way to go.
Actually I’d give anything to hug her again and pray her eyes would open and realize that I care. I don’t want to play a game to win. Just want to hear her voice again in a nice tone. I’m really messed up I know
I use to beat them at every game we played for fun. Must have driven them nutz inside. Even the restraining order they tried to get on me was denied in the end. My order of protection was granted against them. I have won because i now understand what i was dealing with. I am free and healing more and more everyday. No more contact. I get it. Live my best life.
Not playing their game, indifference, emotional detachment, and treating the narcissist as if they don't even exist is the way to beat the narcissist, correct?
A narcissist never heals…& you need to get rid of the idea that you’re the person to bring about the impossible…work on your own boundaries, because Boundary Issues are the reason why you’ll continue to attract the same destructive behaviour… Trust in Schadenfreude! 🙏🏻💔🙏🏽
What after? I went whole 3 months no communication not making his favorit food, if i had to relay a message i left a note and he played along until one day he exploded and started yelling on top of his lungs and telling me that I am psychotic idiot.
I'm not sure what I feel. Do I want justice for me? Sure, but more than anything I just want my siblings to love me. They can't and will never be capable of such reciprocation. I think I'm going to heal and just let them sit in silence. They deserve no more energy from me.
I received a message written in partner way and playing the victim. My reply was 1. I have read your message 3 times and smiled. 2. Yours and my view is different 3. Tell the person just be glad that I will go and you are released of all that negative feeling due to my behaviour. 4. I delete the spending negative time. Waste of time 5. Wish the person a happy proceed😉
No one can torture a narcissist more than themselves.
Are you saying that narcissist torture themselves when a scapegoat escape
@@sabarinathan6554 Yes, because they need a new source of supply to fill the void.
Don't play with a narcissist. These ppl are dangerous to your health and your life!
True 👍
Right
The same can be said about being a narcissist. Don’t play with people.
AMEN !
On point
I now have multiple sclerosis....u cant complain if u r sick
But they would get medical help immediately n recover if they r sick ....to torture n torment the empaths
I would like to know why ?
Nobody has answered this question
But we analyze it
Why ?
Blocking them on social media, and ignoring them in public, absolutely burns them up and triggers the mental illness within them. When they can no longer reach you because you treat them with indifference, it works.
Sometimes it makes them happy, because they take it as your weakness. If you block someone, you're pissed - and that still gives them power - it's really heavy
Guys... My narcissist Girlfriend who betrayed me - was forced by me to Block me on whatsApp & Instagram... I feel so relieved now...
My logic is simple... If I haven't broken the relationship, why should I Block her.. So I forced her to Block me 😅😅
@@yarabia🎉🎉🎉😢😢😂😂😂😂🎉😢😢🎉🎉😢😢🎉😅
Ignoring them in public works extremely well. Just be careful you’re safe because you may trigger a rage.
@@yarabia I disagree. Blocking them and going no contact permanently isn't about being pissed, it's about taking back your own power and control over your life. If we're focused on how THEY take things then we're not ready to be set free.
Forget them! They don’t care about you!! You deserve more! Value yourself.
The last time I spoke to him was back in Jan of this year. I spoke my peace and cut off the conversation, before he had a chance to open up his big mouth start his insults towards me. I was gone, like proof, just gone! Blocked him and never answered anything else he had to say. I have to say it felt great. He has done this to me so many times. It felt so good to be just as cold as him. I know he got to see how it all feels now. This is for all the times he has disrespected me, cheated on me and lied to me. Proud to say, that I have made it up 141 days of no contact so far.
Girl! same!!!
How is it going nowdays?!
112 days no contact
Detach emotionally it baffles them. 💯
Ignore, move on and be happy. Do not give any form of supply. That is how i win against him EVERYDAY!
I cut off all narcissists in my life and was amazed at the good karma that started flowing in. It might be tough at first as an empath, but you will definitely not regret it.
I have whole family over 40 of them.. abuse doesn’t stop. I miss them and can’t let go anxiety depression.. it’s so hard I heard I have to heal wounds…
@@SA-px3ln The hard part is accepting they'll never be healthy people who want to see you succeed. Once your mind can fully process that, you'll be able to detach, and then things really take off in a positive way, I'm living proof.
@@MiamiVisor didn’t you have wounds trauma anxiety for long years of this?
@@SA-px3ln It's an emotional journey and a battle to overcome demonic people and our own personal demons, no one would believe the nefarious things people have tried to do to me, and now I'm grateful for all of it, because it has made me who I am today, and I'm still trying to level up as far as I can go. I believe life is about struggle, and once I changed my mindset to embrace the challenges, everything changed for the better. I recently had a life long dream of mine come true right out of the blue, no joke. I still watch videos like this to keep my skills sharp and also to root on others like yourself.
Same . Mother, aunt, and 'fiance' who cheated on stop... My physical health has been Soo bad dealing with them, rather be alone and peaceful. Stay strong Sistar ❤
This is where I am at right now. I just don’t really care anymore. So much soul destroying abuse.
This particular video is exactly what I needed to hear to remain no-contact with my ex. Absolutely mind-blowing to watch myself (logical, reasoned, purposeful etc) be ensnared in trap after trap trying to save her soul.This stuff is heartbreaking actually. The idea of letting go of someone FOREVER after a close relationship seems unnecessary and dramatic....that is, unless you are talking about letting go of a narcissist. This is soul warfare. A narcissist will try to take your soul. The GIFT from the narcissist, however, is the reawakening of your childhood trauma. They will show you what you need to work on. They will be brutal, raw and unjust. They will strip you bear. In the end, however, I chose myself. I am worth more than what this person was doing to me. You cannot love them or try to understand them. You will always be the little boy crying with his arms out for his mother. They will whip you with this, lash after lash, UNTIL YOU CHOOSE YOURSELF. That is all there is to it. You either choose to respect and love yourself and walk away....or you get destroyed. It does not matter how smart / high emotional IQ you believe you are. We are no match for them. They have been doing it their entire lives. You will be forever in a maze that is designed by them to lead you nowhere.
Soul warfare is exactly what it is. For OUR own growth. Beautifully put.
Bravo! Well said. 👊✨🙏🌟 Thanks for this. I came back to this video and your post really resonates with me again. I had to admit I can't win. I really tried to help them but they became bored, treated me badly and when I blew up, which is what they wanted of course, devalued me, discarded me, destroyed my name and reputation completely. I have to cut myself off from the trauma bond. It's the only way. 🏃🏃🏃
Perfectly expressed.
In the very beginning, after the love bombing, My X admitted that they have been like this their entire lives and they are not changing at 60. It was then that I started researching…and, found narcissistic personality disorder. As an empath, I was ripped to shreds and they walked away laughing
40 years of torture and finally started distancing myself emotionally from my husband. Had no idea what narcissism was. Thought he was just confused. Some days I am successful to emotionally detach myself yet other days it’s misery again. Can’t leave as have nowhere to go.thank you so very much for this video.
Yes, here's a strategy I decided upon. It seems crazy but it's actually working...... I decided to take full responsibility/blame for everything the narc did to me. I apologized even though they should have apologized to me. I accepted blame for it all. Now I'm free because I have been brought so low by them, that the only way is UP, WITHOUT THEM!!!In capitulating totally to them I have paradoxically set myself free, to go ahead and live my best life, choosing ME at all times and only letting good, decent people into my life from now on. I have taken the power from them. They 'win' and now their spell over me is broken, I hope they have no further interest in me, just like I no longer have any dealings with them. Peace at last. 🙏
They probably dont think about you at all unless they need something. They aren't like us
I finally learned, sometimes you have to lose in order to win.
Great advice. All silent now for months. I'm using a lot of energy trying to heal. But getting there.
Well done for continuing your healing journey. It will eventually not use so much energy 🤍
How??🙄
You will get there, its hard, you grieving. It will pass and you will start to feel like your old self again, stay strong and seek the Lord to also help you through this difficult time.
Never tried to Hoover? Or did you do total no contact?
Do not reach out or communicate with them at all and you will find yourself at peace and not thinking about them as much day by day. It’s a great feeling to have your power back. Silence and moving on is the best thing you can do for yourself and your health. Stay strong
Just be you. They hate it when you let your light shine! They shrink away from what they think they are!
It is true they win all the time and there is no getting back at them because nothing phases them. They are the biggest con artists and everything is a game to them. They can win an academy award for their performances.
Makes sense.they want reaction. Don'tgive. they loose
It's challenging when you're in trauma bond, I'm glad I went no contact, but I miss parts of him. This is where it is at, but I have to remind myself what he did to me.
Same😢
Give them nothing ! Nothing ! None of your time , none of your energy , no contact , no exceptions . Going thru a divorce after 35 years together , it is never too late ! Once you know , that ‘s it , get out , run .
Yes yes yes!!!! They are dead to you! They do not exist!!!!
They do not deserve a second thought, heck, they don't deserve a first thought. It's over. Just awful people (sub-humans)
Exactly where I'm at.
Me also after 36 years together.
Guys... My narcissist Girlfriend who betrayed me - was forced by me to Block me on whatsApp & Instagram... I feel so relieved now...
My logic is simple... If I haven't broken the relationship, why should I Block her.. So I forced her to Block me 😅😅
This helps make sense to me. I went NC for 8 months & caved. He came in strong & had me believing he missed me, he was sorry, he wanted me. Then after 1 month I went to his house. We had a beautiful time. I thought a real connection. He hugged me goodbye & said he would text. 3 days went by & no text! I tried calling only to find I was blocked! I jumped on FB messenger & he blocked me immediately! He did this to get back at me...for revenge for the NC for those 8 months! It's sick!!!
😥
Omg if that was the case it was pure evil!!
Did he ever reached out to you all this time since you left this commemt?
Sorry this as%%% did this to you❤
Wow! So cruel. I'm sorry that it happened to you, I know it has to be painful.
When I finally made a decision to go no contact 60 days ago, I wanted to make sure my mind was made up and that it would be permanent for reasons you just stated. In the back of my mind I feel like he's capable of doing something similar. He showed up at my house a week ago but I didn't respond. I refuse to give him an opportunity to plead his case because it's already closed for good!
HOLD ON TO YOUR HAPPY GO LUCKY SELF. IT'S THERE. BEEN DORMANT. USE IT. THINK OF THE THINGS THAT DELIGHT YOUR SOUL. DON'T ALLOW A NARCISSIST ACCESS TO YOUR SACRED BEING❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Best advice ever
I shall rent them space in my head no more!
Overcoming a narcissist is a big challenge that can lead to true self-love and eventually to finding the person that belongs in your life. Like the universe, god, tell as you please is sending an obstacle we must pass over to find our true selves and acknowledge our true potential. It's like a battle between good and evil, love and hate. Love always wins in the end. But revenge is unnecessary because these people are already hurt and don't know what love is. Moving on with respect for you and others.
Great post !
Let go and let GOD !!!!!!!
Thanks 😊 🙏
Totally agree with everything you've said. Do not play their game. Dig deep and gather you're strength for yourself. Revenge is going to effect you more because THEY don't CARE about the consequences of their actions but YOU DO CARE. Don't sink to their level. Be smart, be quiet, be safe...
I’m doing this, no contact, stop giving him any information! Be unpredictable! This really helps.
This is true. I hate playing games but sometimes as you're making your exit it's good to be unpredictable and throw them off the pattern so they'll be confused.
And that's exactly what I did. I use to tell him everything I knew. I stopped confronting, stopped challenging and started silently observing. Makes it harder for them to figure out how to play you.
This is good. Feeling kind of naughty admitting I do feel like they deserve a taste of their own medicine. Thanks coach!
I agree. I think calling out their behavior and trying to hold them accountable and holding your boundaries is something that is needed with these people. The only way they can continue with their behavior is by people being completely dismissive toward them. Most people just let them fully get away with everything which I don’t think works in anyone’s favor. Don’t expect them to own up to what they have done or feel bad though. It simply won’t happen.
@@sarahb.art.a8100 I agree. It's insane. Has made me want to be more assertive and lose my tolerance for gross cruddishness. Thank u
After all the pain he PURPOSELY caused me, makes me happy to have him realize I am stronger than he thought and I choose me at the end of the day. Got a text from a number I didn't recognize saying he was in trouble, no cards, no car keys ECT and ' could I meet him to help a bit' 😅😅 nuts and said I was in a dv shelter with a protective order I don't have yet and blocked. So grateful he is not my responsibility. Rock on Sistar ❤❤
No contact means closing the lolly shop, no more nasty childish tantrums. Moved address and dissapeared leaving narc forever with nothing just as I got from knowing them. I do like your chanel, hard but best advice!
No more giving them eye candy too. Block them on social media.
I went No contact and it worked. I didn’t answer phonecalls or messages at all. No contact is the best way to cut off the supply and they will be living a nightmare if you do.
Saying no is better than no contact in my situation.
Stay away is the key🙏
Narcs dont feel pain ,remorse ,regret
They hurt when u r better than them ,become popular ....which is hard cos they isolate u...,smart, friendly,loving towards others even ur own kids etc😮
Yes.I won't waste my precious time and energy on a dead person,the narcissist.
Great advice, the only way to win is to not play. And whatever people do to others, is actually what they do to themselves.
They love you being in the gutter. It proclaims their innocence. But your in the gutter due to the abuse. Time heals. You DO get up and move on. My case took me way over a year. By that point people have other things to talk about. It’s old news. No contact. No gutter. No games. No more control. That’s when they care. Cos you don’t
Exactly, and their harbor guilt, particularly, if the narc dies
Good day,my one always break up, say I'm cheating with her with my ex, making up stories about me in my face,calling me rude names,she is so cold with no emotions at times, she have different personalities and her face changes at times, when we spend time alone she is happy and looks like a 16year old but she is 55 but looks like one in her 30's
Already began doing this. It is freeing and feels good to have the control. My narcissist was just a guy I dated for very shirt period of time but were in small community and unless I'm willing to give up playing music I'll need to see him. He's a very dangerous narcissist. He admitted to me that hecaused his wife to commit suicide! On purpose because he didnt want to pay her alimony when they divorced. She, unlike me, was weak from living with a narcissist 14 yrs! She drank and used drugs. These people can be extremely dangerous. All He's done to me has been to turn people against me in the music community we share. I ignored it and now they're beginning to come around again. The narcissist announced his engagement this fall! Another victim Scary!
Any contact should take the form of a criticism and tell them what to do. Don’t react, don’t engage. Disregard what they say as a lie.
Thank You❤ only dated them 7 months and I already kicked them to the curb. She’s right guys you have to not care,. give up and no longer contact them and that’s how you win by simply giving up.
Thank you so much for this - destroy health, no contact, no supply
Towards the end of the discharge still had no clue what this was. I went out side to my car and would listen to the ballgame LOL this got her raging cause what would the neighbors think . She was also a big "Karen" She would get mad if anyone even parked near or in front of the house! So I moved after 8 years of You know what . I cried for 3 years then before I found out what this was. going on 8 months no contact like you taught us its gone . Sure moments of the trauma bond still but when you exposed the dark empath everything clicked they feed off the super empath me...TYSM
Go silent …it kills em!
I felt so weak not actually fighting back, but she showed me evil in the end like I had never seen before. I was so confused about what I had done to deserve that. This was after she filed for divorce, and told me she was already seeing someone else never talking to me about us. God told me to let it go and be done with it as soon as possible, so I did. Then I found out she checks all the narcissist boxes and started to feel lucky for not fighting back. Yah, she always wanted to compete and win, but this time it felt like she wanted me destroyed. I was still so confused that the person I loved so much would…… so now no contact and afraid of her trying to come back to me, knowing what I know now.
so sorry you went through that, hope things are better for you now
Bad people that do not change
The lesson in all this; life is inside out not outside in
Thank you these demons are operating on the spiritual realm. They cause so much pain and suffering. If we did not want the table turned, we would not be human. We must go no contact and let the universe handle it.
Never invite the vampire back into your house......
My situation was totally different but thank you. I almost died and hippa refused to tell me about narcissistic rage. They protect the bad and expect us to figure it out.🤡👈🏻
Your so right. I'm happy I ran across your channel and I subscribed. I've been in and out of a nar
He lives 2 houses from me!!!!! He moved on SO QUICKLY and she now lives there!! This is torture for ME!! Total betrayal. I can’t afford to move right now 🤬
They are some sick people! I am so sorry.
Hey let it go ,remember she is being treated the same awful way he treated you.
There will be new ones every so often and he will never be happy. 😂 consider it a lucky escape ❤❤❤❤
There is one thing I would like to add as far as winning against a narcissist. Win your identity back. Most narcissist create a narrative of being the victim of their past relationships. I used to advocate my narcs story of victimization against his ex partners and other people he took advantage of. I felt a real conviction to reflect upon it and as for God's forgiveness and really open up to the truth of what really happened which is probably the same that happened to you and if they had children with them even worse. I have since stated to our mutual friends how badly I feel that I spoke against them now knowing there may be different facts. It has been a huge release of the hold this relationship had on me for I feel no longer a flying monkey in their fake bubble of friends and family. I have disconnected completely to anyone who has daily contact with him and embracing a new identity with family and friends that did not fall for his false persona. I do not try to persuade the ones that did. Bless them on their way. I bought a new phone and installed only the contacts I wish to continue in my new life. All pictures, accounts, videos etc... are deleted. I get on social media and create positive quotes like "I am not a survivor, I AM a THRIVOR. The best revenge is to be thriving without them which is what you can because you are no longer emptying yourself into their empty souls that have a never ending pit of despair, drama, and manipulation that will bring them to a unfulfilled life sooner or later. The new supply are just as miserable as you were if not more, especially when they are older. Aging seems to bring in a depraved mind that is not so easy to hide. You broke free - Good job! You will not be the one having to be their caretaker one day or worse depending on them to take care of you. Statistics show they end up abandoning you emotionally if not physically which is worse because they silently abuse you and you are now helpless to even have the power to leave on your own. I do self videos for journaling and then play them back. I think I am growing up and becoming a new me. I am really starting to love myself. More importantly I am healing and my faith in God is keeping my eyes on the Creator and the great plans that can be waiting for me when I apply myself. I spend 20 minutes in the morning with some healing methods and it's a game changer as well. It really is a great time to be alive when you kick the addiction of a narcissist.
Thanks again and again. So much gaslighting but it came down to her seeking a new supply. You have walked me through this , thank you 🙏🏽
Not interested in revenge. They already know the pain they’ve caused, because they feel nothing except emptiness and self hatred all the time. I just want the attachment and the longing to go. I want to stop needing them and missing them all the time, and be able to think about something else.
it's funny because I saw your title to your TH-cam and I said oh no not another one from someone else but I still thought I'd give it another try and boy am I glad I did.
My gosh you said some things that really resonated with me. I've learned from others on TH-cam about narcissism and they're awesome but the way you put things are so simple but still intellectual and professional, warm yet strong. You're such a beautiful lady but it's your heart that's beautiful above all.
I want to continue to learn from you. You have no idea how grateful I am for you. I am just stunned by what you're making me aware of, what I'm dealing with and how to handle it.
Hope you can also help how to handle elderly parents that are narcissistic and how we can go about protecting ourselves as we care for them without dealing with too much financially, emotionally and physically and more which can be incredibly painful and draining.
I believe in forgiveness, praying for others and I know that God will avenge us for anything that has been wrongly done to us by. anyone but I know we must also have boundaries and to keep away from evil people.
Thank you ever so much and thank you for caring and helping us and may God bless you and bless you for all you do.
. Stay wonderful beautiful loving and kind lady. I mean. From thar the bottom of my heart as a sister to a sister.
💖🥰💖
My sentiments too !
I'm into 7 weeks no contact as you mentioned my ex narcissist is dead to me, I have a friend who is friends with my ex on fb who keeps asking me questions how my weekend went might be wrong but I'm starting to think she is telling my ex what I am saying
Yeah, l think she's a flying monkey. Minimize communication with her. Or if you have to answer to any of her questions reply back with a white lie. (Of course don't make it obvious).
She is probably a flying monkey
That 'friend' is a flying monkey for rhe narc. Fade that person out of your life gradually, or simply block them and the narc. That 'friend' is the narc's spy, not your friend at all. Get away and stay away.
Brilliantly explained. Thanks 👏 I simply had to subscribe.
I started doing this after the Hoover stage. He actually got me texting him every single day and then it dawned on me that he was looking for supply. It felt off texting him, like I was on the verge of starting to chase him, so I recognized that and slowly started disengaging with him. The reason why I started talking w/ him again in the first place was because I wanted the smear campaign to stop. I couldn’t take it anymore and then I started dating someone else and was like he’s going to completely try and kill that relationship. So I’ve been super silent about dating someone, I gave them what they wanted while knowing that I was slowly going to back away. I hate being this manipulative, it’s not my nature, but it’s not my first rodeo with these kind of people either. Just know the stages of and realize when they start love bombing you again it’s just leading up to a discard of some kind and they will not spare your feelings or emotions causing additional damage.
I cannot thank you enough for this absolutely AMAZING message you are helping me soooo much I'm in a dark place atm narcissist lives next door and have to use the same path while they sit on the front with his women drinking laughing in front of me what do I do 🙏🙏🙏😢😢😢😢😢
Sending you comfort. They are mean but inside they are a mess...but YOU are a bright light and you will be just fine. Stay 💪 strong. 🙏🩶🪻
❤have a drink 🥃 with them.
Thanks Anoushka!!❤⚘
Take control of a new life...
Time to heal and keep going to up!!!😊
Could never wrap my head around the “ competition mindset,” which increases as jealousy and envy , control and gossip ensues.
It’s good to know others best to know thyself!
I don’t play or stay in relationships with people like this anymore. Exhausting!Therefore, my lessons have been such that I feel as though I’ve won the Nobel Peace prize!
I blocked on all and deleted her number. Best thing I ever did in 35 years of knowing her!
Love it! NO CONTACT. no hard work required. Make it easy on yourself.
Greetings!
I appreciate and celebrate all that you have done to understand narcissism in an excellent way. I pray that GOD will give you the desires of your heart. You are a beautiful woman. Be encouraged in all matters of your life!
You explain very well , & i also tried to heal a narcissist but she flipped into the next moment and continue to destroy herself and her family life !!!!!!!
Narcissist cannot change ✅
There life is of only last upto 40 years ,
After that they will living their life with their own karma .....
Their mind will be the reason life are living but reality is they are dying everyday, every minute & every seconds 👍
“To oppose something is to MAINTAIN it…
You must go somewhere else: you must have another goal: then you walk a different road”
URSULA LEGUIN
🙏🏽💔🙏🏻
Blessed be…
Absolutely spot on 👍
I called him out ion his last lie, blocked him,, changed my number, and deleted my FB,
Just don’t engage, let go and go out and live ❤️
Excellent and very helpful video! Once we understand what went on, there are so many memories that get re-assembled re-cataloged in our brain. We see how the "relationship" was messed up and unhealthy, often even at the best of times, and that we were so unable to understand it in the moment ... All that retrospection and rumination makes one to want to have our "say" reach the narcissist, to let them know we're on to their toxicity. But, like you said in the video, they'd only discount our perceptions and feel filled by the fact we've spent time attached to a memory of them. When I think of "letting go" as the ultimate revenge, then it becomes a very powerful tool. A tool I needed very much ... Thank you for this concept!!
She is so right about this do not doubt this critical information
No, you’re right that’s what got me thrown out I played by his rules threw me out
TRUE THAT! Great video, thank you so much for what you do! 😊❤
This was exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks for posting
Excellent❤
I infact have a heart..I think they should just enjoy themselves while they getting the guys...once you grow up and has been honest and still receive this..them wish them all the best
The spring is slowly approaching in the Northern Hemisphere, and I assure you, when the warmer weather comes in and the nights get longer, unbalanced people get just-that-little-bit more imbalanced; be on the lookout for road ragers, Karens demanding to speak to managers and snooping exes to peak ~mid-May.
Karen is a slur against white women 😀
Thank you so much 🙏👏❤️
Totally on point Anouska! Thank you ☺️
KARMA!!!!! Please!!!!!!
If you wanna bunch them to their core, you do not do anything. Just completely ignore them. They will die inside Out, the more they try to get your attention the more you ignore them. This way can lead them to ☠️
Thank you for the most valuable life lesson I've ever had.👍🏻💙
You are absolutely right ❤
Don’t sink to there level or your no different then them. Just get them out of your life, and move on.
Thanks again for your help. Extremely helpful.
Thanks!
Thank you 😊
They torture you for no reason. I know when im doing well as the narc friend starts coming at me harder. Only recently that i realsised they are a narc. The worst part is gas lighting and manipulation. My narc 'friend'(enemy) of 36 years spreads rumours like wildfire is toxic and i think no contact is best. My only issue is they will carry on spreading rumours anyway and i will have to sit back and take it. They want to destroy everything i do. Great advice thanks.
Thanks for this educational message. ❤
Hi my coach you are really helping us people who have no idea about this kind of people especially how to handle them, and if still leaving with them the same house is just another story.
Hi wonderful person u r still hurting inside too , so hard to let someone go u really care for, Iam still hurting after 4 months I want her back but I don’t if that makes sense,I never new about narcissists , thank you for your support and true words 😊🤗
this ish is saving my life... Thank you
I have no choice as my son’s wife keeps leaving and coming back over 25 years and we live next door. We are retired and can’t leave and we watch our son living a life walking on glass and not wanting to lose everything he’s worked for. 😢
No contact is hard when you share children together.
In all of her videos I've seen so far, she says cut them out of your life, go no contact. Are there any videos that address what to do when you have minor children together? The court ordered 50/50 custody. Cutting him out isn't an option.
Currently, I try to wait at least 24 hours to respond as a subtle message that he is no longer important enough to deserve an immediate response. I try to answer texts succinctly. I try to contact him only when absolutely necessary and only about the children. I use my lawyer for all other communication. But he keeps dragging me to court.
Stick to only dealing with the kids, nothing else. Nothing about you personally, give them nothing. Short answers and no follow ups from you.
I don’t want to harm her in any way. A little salt or creating a little wound and a little salt in it I don’t mind much. Just a little. However I feel so thrown into the garbage. I miss her. Even her angry words are better then the silence. I’ve left her alone since new years. I’ve let her go and moved on. This lady is amazing in the video. I have a long way to go.
Actually I’d give anything to hug her again and pray her eyes would open and realize that I care. I don’t want to play a game to win. Just want to hear her voice again in a nice tone. I’m really messed up I know
@wtcmedic911 man I know,it's not good,I've done the same. You've got to keep aiming high and getting away. Do not give in to her!!!!!!!!
Do a TH-cam search for Jerry wise how to emotionally detach
We share the same story buddy, you are not alone. She did it to me as well. We need to control our empatethic behavour at some points
@@wanputrawadi3255 same story here too .my love and care was weaponized against me .
I use to beat them at every game we played for fun. Must have driven them nutz inside. Even the restraining order they tried to get on me was denied in the end. My order of protection was granted against them. I have won because i now understand what i was dealing with. I am free and healing more and more everyday. No more contact. I get it. Live my best life.
exactly, they will win
Not playing their game, indifference, emotional detachment, and treating the narcissist as if they don't even exist is the way to beat the narcissist, correct?
Not a nar that's cheating
A narcissist never heals…& you need to get rid of the idea that you’re the person to bring about the impossible…work on your own boundaries, because Boundary Issues are the reason why you’ll continue to attract the same destructive behaviour…
Trust in Schadenfreude!
🙏🏻💔🙏🏽
Choice is what god has given everyone.
What after? I went whole 3 months no communication not making his favorit food, if i had to relay a message i left a note and he played along until one day he exploded and started yelling on top of his lungs and telling me that I am psychotic idiot.
Thank you this video has been really helpfull
I'm not sure what I feel. Do I want justice for me? Sure, but more than anything I just want my siblings to love me. They can't and will never be capable of such reciprocation. I think I'm going to heal and just let them sit in silence. They deserve no more energy from me.
Stop, I love u
I received a message written in partner way and playing the victim. My reply was 1. I have read your message 3 times and smiled. 2. Yours and my view is different 3. Tell the person just be glad that I will go and you are released of all that negative feeling due to my behaviour. 4. I delete the spending negative time. Waste of time 5. Wish the person a happy proceed😉