My In-Laws Are Going to Guilt Us Into Giving Them Money
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ธ.ค. 2020
- My In-Laws Are Going to Guilt Us Into Giving Them Money
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Never tell someone how much you make or what’s in your bank accounts . Periodttt.
That will stop all problems before they start.
People simply assume you paid based on certain professions. Glad I can look anyone in the eye and say no.
@@DebtFreeDad I havent run into the problem of family asking for money yet. So I'm fortunate.
@The Dave Ramsey Show You are not Dave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@@loslogos9091 yes dont fall for it. You can see they have stolen the profile picture
I've never understood the mindset of not wanting to hurt a family member's feelings when that same family member is willing to use guilt to manipulate you into doing what they want. They aren't worrying about your feelings.
Facts, some people feel obligated I guess.
What confuses me is how do you guilt someone into them giving you money ? Like do you not have a job ? Do you not have integrity? Do you not love your family ? Sad how far down society has gone .
Do NOT contact this number!!! This is obviously a scam. Their account must have been hacked. Dave has never recommended investing in cryptocurrency!
@@savannarose8560 spam for sure.....contact my guru via whats app. Thanks for letting folks know.
It's because the individual has been strongly conditioned to be 'nice' and thus that person becomes afraid to say No; the consequences will make them feel ashamed and wretched about themselves.
It really does require real and maybe professional help to change.
Dave hit the nail on the head when he explained mother-daughter relationship when it comes to money. Just the other day my mother asked me to co-sign for her for an apt. I firmly said no and she had the audacity to say, “I didn’t tell you no when I co-signed for your car 12 years ago.” Trying to guilt trip me. Mind you, I was 19 and didn’t have any credit. That’s why I needed a co-signer. But I couldn’t care less. That was her choice to co-sign for me. And I’m making the choice to not co-sign for her. I’m good with my money, she’s not. And she tries to use that to her advantage. Tough love. Your financial burdens will not become mine 🤷🏾♀️
🤦🏿♀️🤦🏿♀️🤦🏿♀️ I never asked nobody to co-sign for me . I’m returning the favor.
Lol, my mother expected me to be her financial savior after law school. But she taught me that a mans wife and kids come first. Sorry mom, your lesson is correct what you want is wrong. Kids dont owe parents anything, they didnt ask to be here. I think that's a mom thing, dad is just happy I can take care of my own. Lol
@@DebtFreeDad lol lol 🤦🏿♀️🤦🏿♀️ I love reading this dialogue. Because my mother needed help and she’s great with money. She owns her house and all just needed a little help . My brother didn’t help my mother . Now he needs help . Watch how you treat people seriously
@@empresslonnie1love391 moms had health issue came to live with me and i wont take anything from her. The difference is your moms good with money mine isn't. I'm just not giving her money to support s bad money habit. I will help with a real problem or pay a bill if I need to. But, I wont contribute to her making a deeper mess. Everyone's situation is different.
My neighbor was sticking his nose into our business. He said I needed to cosign for a 30k car for my mother. I got really mad and gave him a piece of my mind. He said I needed to save $200 of my check and pay for their flooring. I told him if he has the money to be that generous he's welcome to and keep my name out of his mouth. Idk if it's bc I am pregnant but I've been mad since. I have been paying for their bad financial decisions since I was 8. Stopped 8 years ago. Just cleaned up the debt.
Parents like this don't care about their children. I have 3 kids and I could never imagine living off of any my children. That's why I'm here watching and following Dave, so I don't burden my children in any way. Smh 🙄
Great Attitude!
Your own the other side of my mothers camp
Straight up !
Kyle snuck in a classic dig...
"My mother-in-law is a Travel Agent for GUILT TRIPS" 🤣🤣🤣
Lol. I think they have a elementary school intern, maybe a great nephew or something, doing the captions.
That's a Dave Ramsey line.
Looks like the mother in law is gonna be "up a Creek." 😁.
@@dorisjking8937 It's awesome :)
😝 @Stephen Santiago
The in-laws are grown up and can take care of themselves.
Doesn't sound like they're grown up.
@@Only2GendersCommonSense Agreed - they don't, but they should be. And why isn't the husband calling - they are his parents. Is he a big baby??
@@jimroscovius
Could be 😆
Tell the guilt trip travel agents that you aren't buying tickets any longer.
@The Dave Ramsey Show boy the scam artists are quick these days.
12/20/20....WHY DO PPL MENTION/GIVE INFO ON THESE COMMENT SECTIONS---TO SUPPOSEDLY MAKE MONEY WITH PPL THAT DAVE RAMSEY
HASN'T & DOESN'T PROMOTE?
BOTS? TROLLS?
I wish DR could ELIMINATE these comments that could possibly harm his viewers.
Just sayin'....
Do NOT contact this number!!! This is obviously a scam. Their account must have been hacked. Dave has never recommended investing in cryptocurrency!
@@savannarose8560 account isn't hacked. The scammer created a different channel using the same user name
@@eileeneclark9011 it's SUPER common all over youtube. get the word out that these are bots just having a fake conversation to make it appear legit but it absolutely is not. the numbers are spaced because it would get flagged otherwise.
That poor couple. That family is totally taking advantage of them. They know their son in law wants to be in good standing with the family, and they know they can guilt the daughter. Shame on them.
@The Dave Ramsey Show This person isn't the check marked "The Dave Ramsey Show".
@The Dave Ramsey Show reported as impersonation.
I can’t tell you how many people I have run into who have parents who think their kids were put on this earth to act as personal ATM’s.....!!!! Have one personal friend who has a steady stream of “loser” family members who think he works specifically to bail them out of their various poor decisions!
Why does your friend tolerate those losers
BONDAGE
Sadly, that's my parents. They try to cross the boundaries all the time. The guilt is overwhelming. They do the ,"we are old" line! We cut off any money three years ago. It is a horrible situation to be in. I feel for this young couple. Dave is right. The woman to woman boundary setting is bad. My mom and sister work the guilt! My sister is wealthy and enables my parents year after year. I finally cut off any talk about her money giving to them. You have to cut them out like a cancer! This just sucks. It breaks my heart to hear these calls.
@@stewbugz5213 I can imagine what you and your sister are going through.. just know that you made the best decision and continue to be on your purpose
Hope he said NO
My sister has been emotionally blackmailing my mother for money for over 35 years, it's absolutely terrible how she treats her. Also the reason I haven't spoken to my sister for over 20 years. Like Dave says, as a dude I have identified her as a toxic person and removed her from my life.
Smart. And Mother's fault for condoning it
When his wife graduates, she won't have immediate wealth. She may even have student loans. She's not responsible for giving random amounts of money to his MIL.
Amen!!!
When I was younger, people would sometimes ask me for money. I always struggled with fear of their rejection if I told them no. As I matured, I came to understand that if I caved and gave or loaned them the money, I ended up resenting them. I learned the power of the word, “no”. Now, if someone asks to borrow money, my immediate response is, “I’m sorry but I don’t loan money”. My boundary is usually challenged and I reiterate my boundary by repeating my original comment. Typically, saying my statement twice in an unwavering tone, does the trick. If the person asking doesn’t like me afterwards, that’s their problem. Shows me that they didn’t really care for me to start with. I’m not against helping people but the people who are habitually in financial predicaments are the ones that must be told no.
GIVEN?? This is getting ridiculous!
I've noticed a sharp uptick in the number of basic grammar errors on the video titles. I wonder if the uploader even graduated middle school.
Trying to set boundaries with family members that don’t understand boundaries is literally a nightmare. They will test you, guilt trip you, and slander your name just to get their way.
Not really, because they can either respect your boundaries or you can cut them off.
It’s not a nightmare if you have a backbone.
True. I’ve experienced it all. Slandered by my mother. Yes they will do all these things to you. I didn’t care anymore. My peace was worth more.
I now desperately want a 15 minute segment dedicated to John and Dave pretending to guilt trip each other 🤣🤣🤣
Too funny
My dad was a nurse and made good money then had kidney failure and lost a leg, and now has to live off SSI, and the man has never asked me for a dime. He just really cut back. I have abviously helped him over the years but it always has to be a present or surprise. He won't ask or guilt for anything.
Just tell them, 'I aint gots no money."
Haha that will guilt them into feeling bad for not teaching you how to speak properly.
"NO" is a complete sentence! 😅
Some people are so deeply rooted by their dysfunctions that they'll sacrifice their own children to avoid facing their fear of change
It’s truly sickening to watch parents do this to their kids.
Mixing finances and family if it’s not immediate is always messy.
Thanksgiving dinner doesnt taste the same!
If your in-laws are bold enough to ask for money then you should be bold enough to say no. Period.
I laughed when he said “no i didn’t. That’s why I’m not there.”
Do NOT contact this number!!! This is obviously a scam. Their account must have been hacked. Dave has never recommended investing in cryptocurrency!
I’ll always be here for my daughter financially if It would mean she was going to be homeless or couldn’t afford food. If I went broke and meant I had to live on the streets- I would never ever ever ask her for financial help. She was not asked to be put here in life to take care of me. BUT, that’s why I follow Dave’s plan of paying off the house fast, before I get let go from my prestige job. I’ll never have to worry about being a financial burden.
This comes up for us a lot. Our deal is to gift only. If we can afford to GIFT money to family and we feel it's worthy (emergency dental surgery is worthy, destination wedding is not) - then we gift it. Lending to family is crazy. Yes, those two items were real requests for help.
The trouble (for example) is that the asker might have already paid for the destination wedding and is making payments on a car they cant afford and THAT is why they can't pay their light bill...It gets really, REALLY complicated.
Tell them that you were going to ask them for money, and that you are poor.They will love that.
It was hard for me to say no for a long time. I hated anyone being mad at me. I am so glad I got over that. The word No is a beautiful thing. I’d rather someone else be mad at me than me be mad at myself for doing something I didn’t want to do.
It's easy. Just say no. But then my parents are responsible people and don't ask. I did have other relatives ask, and the answer was no.
Look at what’s happening between Vanessa Bryant and her mom....
I heard the mother is the reason Kobe stopped speaking to his family. She must've manipulated him somehow. They didn't even get to speak at the funeral
Dave needs to hire an editor for these titles
No, I think the editor had written these titles. Hiring two separate people means more $ out the door and he will not have it!
No is my favorite word so not an issue over here 🤷🏾♀️
Scammers detect it 👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼
@@jaimecruz5367 nah bro he legit legit its dave ramsey 😐😑😑
Do NOT contact this number!!! This is obviously a scam. Their account must have been hacked. Dave has never recommended investing in cryptocurrency!
Physician Assistants rock! She has a great opportunity to have a great income and earned it. Her parents didn't earn it. Don't give them any money. I agree she needs counseling and learn tough love.
Easy answer: NO!
I feel so related. Yep “boundaries” awesome book
Apart from my wife its nobodys else business how much we both make a year, its private.
we need more people in this world like my grandparents, they were too proud to try any of this nonsense that these inlaws and family is trying to pull.
Facts!!! I know from experience.
The only reason the mother and sister use the wife as an ATM, is because she must have let them know how much she makes and she is a weak target.
"No, I'm not giving you a dime" is a real sentence.
My sister already made the dumb mistake to not be there for me when I needed her because when I do make money, I won't have to share.
It can be worse, they can guilt trip you into giving the a monthly gift and free room and board.
lol at the title “given them money.”
Dave outsources his youtube channel to our chinese overlords
Dave nails it again.
"she wants to help them, she doesn't want to enable them"... yeah, right. Tell your wife "okay - giving them money is enabling irresponsibility". When you wake up on the couch you'll see why I said "yeah, right".
Its not going to matter too much. When she graduates and makes more money than him and settles into her career, odds are they will get divorced.
Keep your financial affairs to yourself. Don't talk about what you do personally, unless you know how to give advice/directions in general terms. Never give money to anyone you don't respect financially...only people who are 100% trustworthy and responsible, and you know they would never even ask unless they've exhausted all options, and you're the last one. Only give what YOU can afford to give, even if it doesn't fully match what they ask for. I heard a comedian (who's very wealthy) say years ago that when a family member calls, and he knows they're only calling for money, he waits 2 weeks to call them back...bc whatever the emergency was will have been resolved in that time. "Hey sorry I missed your call, what's up..oh no really..that's terrible..well did you get it figured out..great to hear, ttyl!" 😂😂 trust me it works!
Everything on here is true, guilt and family are so common to use that card.
Man this video hit me on so many levels, you can't understand.
"NO" is a complete sentence
Great ideas don't even trade without investing with an experience expert or.. Signing up for mentorship
You're right sir trading without an expert or mentorship blow your entire account off
Are you a trader??
Are you a trader??
No sir expert Mrs Evelyn is...
Currently investing with her and she's been really great
I think if you are in a position to help parents and they actually need the help go ahead. But, you do have to put down guidelines or else they will look at you as a retirement fund. In some tamiles and cultures parents want their kids to fully support them because they have no retirement.
Hello guy
It's past time to get Dr. Henry Cloud on the Ramsey team. "Boundaries".
I am a divorced mom. During and after my marriage, I have always struggled financially. I wouldn’t ask my kids for anything.
Yeah... Me too
I’d have a slightly different approach... I’d have the wife sit down with her parents when the waters are calm and start with “ I wanted to share with you FPU and how my husband and I have just started.” Then ask them to join as well so these issues do not arise. If they refuse and ask for money, then ‘no’ is a complete sentence.
Easy! Just block their number and ghost them!
Lol, easy fix
The Dave Ramsey Show Sorry, but I wasn’t joking, Dave...
I’m an expert at ghosting my in laws because I refuse to let their drama and their finances be a cause of drama in my life.
@@NT-bz5nh smart
The solution is a simple one word: NO!
"NO" is a complete sentence! 😅
I'm just happy they updated the title and replaced "given" with "giving." Happy Holidays!
I have no problem telling friends and family to pound sand
I’m 💀💀 bout the title 😂😂😂
"... unless it's an emergency situation"?... then EVERY request will be an emergency.
Didn’t expect that family story time but I get what you mean Dave.
So I'm a PA. I have no idea what degree he is referring to that she is getting lol.
I dont know so I'm speculating but if its some brand new experimental thing I'd be nervous if it was that new because if it's not something that's widely implemented you don't have a lot of Surety about the future of the profession.
Maybe she's getting her degree in respiratory therapy? But thats not in the same group as PA/NP so I found his answer there to be interesting lol and I'm very curiois.
I bring this up because if they got talked into doing some degree that's going to not turn out to be what they think it is, then it tells me that they are at a higher risk of getting into pressure from the in-laws to give money
Yeah...I was confused too. I'm a Respiratory Therapist. And I don't know of Masters degree in Respiratory programs. I've never heard of what he is talking about.
@@naturalbeauty_abena1230 it didn't sound very legitimate because he advertised it as being the same as a PA but there is no new profession that the same as a PA.
And he said she basically functions as a fellow?
Something doesn't add up.
It seems like he's either embellishing or they have gotten duped into some kind of weird degree that no one will recognize. Not sure.
I am going to hazard a guess here that she is a fellow in a nurse residency program, possibly respiratory therapy. The demand for these folks in the wake of the pandemic has hiring bonuses on the order of $ 40K.
Nurse Residency Programs (also known as New Grad Nurse Programs) are formalized extensions of nursing education and practice that occur within the first year of a registered nurse's career.
The fellowship provides extra income while in residency.
@@machintelligence possibly. I could see that. Regardless thats not "like a PA/NP" lol.
@@machintelligence Nurses doing fellowship and residency lol. Only in America where these BS programs exist. Shortcuts for wannabes.
If my parents needed my help I have decided they can move in with me. They will not be homeless. They have never asked me for a dime, but I am not anyone's ATM.
There are SOOOO many instances of this...
Just play that oldies song that just mostly says no lol
My parents' house burnt down and they got divorced this year now they're both broke and living off me and other people and its driving me insane how their generation seems to have a common I dont wanna pay for things mentality cuz all their friends have parents who pay their Bills and their money is play money. So both of my parents are reaching out for support not help and its killing me.
Ok. So didn't they have insurance? And can't they work part time...they still are at fault for spending everything they had a.nd living off other people
@dave Ramsey - the title is misspelled. “given” should be “giving”
I have failed if I'm asking my kids for money and expecting them to say yes. We are very open with our kids on money. They are learning Dave's principles from us.
Broke people seem to always have enough for liquor & cigarettes.
😂😂😂!!
"seat down with a pastor!!??"... Since when being and expert in stealing 10% of your money qualifies you to be a counselor?
NO!!!
That sounds pretty toxic!
Do NOT contact this number!!! This is obviously a scam. Their account must have been hacked. Dave has never recommended investing in cryptocurrency!
NO!
Source - Me who learn how to say it a long time ago
If it’s a real financial situation I’m helping my mother Periodttt. But if you always make financial mistakes it’s not my problems.
That was my question. It wasn't clear if it was bad luck or bad planning. Seems like bad planning was implied
Do NOT contact this number!!! This is obviously a scam. Their account must have been hacked. Dave has never recommended investing in cryptocurrency!
@The Dave ramsey Show
How about YOU Invest in an English language course if you want to attempt to defraud people on the internet. Ding bat.
“Given” them money. C’mon title guy 🤦🏾♂️
That’s southern for “giving”
@The Dave Ramsey Show Where is the check box in front of your name? Hmmm. Maybe you're a BS fake account.
Yes - whoever does Ramsey’s titles is grammatically challenged - lots of boo-boos! Must be a Milennial......😂
@@ddellwo are you saying millennials didn't receive a proper education from the previous generation? Also, you spelled millennial wrong. Sincerely, a millennial.
@@superblump87 - Thus the “lol”.......😉
I would be starving and everything I owned sold and about to be evicted before I would ask my baby boy for money help, how toxic are these parents 🥺😢
They need to learn how to say "no". End of story.
Tell her no. Cut them off. If they really care they'll reach out.
Lol! So funny! 6:00
Dave spelled STEEL correctly but the headline on this episode incorrectly says GIVEN when it should be GIVING. Love ya Ramsey team!
Seems like they have been making a few mistakes in the titles lately. Proof reader must be on PTO
Given...southern speak for giving🤣🤣
I wonder does Dave edit these ? Or does he have a lackey that does it for him .
Thanks for making the correction Ramsey team! Good to know you read our comments!!🥰
The money you have given them in past, has not helped their future, since they are still asking for money. Help them find a 2nd job.
If the person making these videos is spelling them wrong on purpose so we will comment and correct them... genious!
It's hard because he doesn't want to be seen as the wicked warlock of the West by his in-laws.
Doesn't bother me 🤣
@@Austenfan177 Agreed. And they have to be on the same page. Follow the budget with no handing out of money. My wife and her sister have gone half & half on an airline ticket a couple of times so their mom could fly to Texas to see their brother. We have no debt, house paid off, and we can afford it. She always lets me know. No hiding.
You can't help people who don't help themselves. It's always just enabling them!
You can only feel guilty if you permit it.
Simple solution: NO
This guy is missing a backbone. He’s weak and no wonder his in-laws can punk him.
He needs to tell them “no” without explaining and be done with it.
"No" is such a short word😊
I was waiting for the question, Why were they depending on her for money? Are they handicapped in any way or are they just leaches?
By the way the conversation went, I'm thinking it was more bad planning than bad luck. But, yes, I was expecting the question
I agree, I’m surprised Dave did not investigate why the in-laws need the money so bad.
Helping them and them getting money from you, to burn and not changing their money habits. IS DUMB
I would never let my mom or mother in law for that matter be on the street, but a social security check can pay for a small apartment and electric and water if I need to by groceries fine but past that you are simply enabling
Can you explain how the step up basis could be effected if Biden’s tax plan goes through? I’ve read about it but I think it would be helpful to hear someone actually talk about it and explain it.
Nice and interesting video
I agree!
You always need to help your family healthy way.
How do you know when the help asked for is "healthy"?
@Crypt0 scam artist
@Crypt0 scam artist
@@lwscijunkie example you can definitely help with student loan, that’s one example.
@@iammohumed4099 WHAT IF...someone who smokes/drinks/drugs asks for a student loan? It's so hard to know if the person who wants money is honest about their intentions.
Just say No..
Man I hate it when a spouse doesn't know what the degree name is...
Like welfare, there is no cure.
Nice try, but read about FBC13 algorithm first
only you are gonna let someone guilt trip you into anything... Id tell em to pound sand and pull themselves up
In baby step 2 you don't have any money just say you can't afford to help anybody asking for money. Baby step 7 is the only time you can afford to give an in law money. Even then you should lay at ground rules for giving them money.
Bruh is it that hard to say no 🤦🏽♂️
Just don't be a wimp and say NO. NO, NO, NO. Sorry, NO!
NOT SORRY, NO!
"Giving"* them money. Dave your admin is so lazy. So many mistakes.
@The Dave Ramsey Show Hey Dave. I called the number and gave them about 3/4 of my retirement savings. Right now I only have 225k. I am 55 and have a birthday coming up at March which my job required retirement at 56. Help
Do NOT contact this number!!! This is obviously a scam. Their account must have been hacked. Dave has never recommended investing in cryptocurrency!
Edit: looks like they were able to copy the name identically but the account has been reported.
@@savannarose8560 I thought he did? I already invested and sold my Tesla stocks and did not make a profit!!! My wife already put down divorce papers!!
My only question that may change my opinion.
Did the parents finance her education with expectations of being repaid?
If that's the case maybe they are not out of line, maybe the daughter is the mooch ?