I’m still in my marriage after a year and a half of his betrayal, I think I need to play this back every single day, I really needed to hear this, but it’s really hard to forgive him
It's 2 and a half years for me. My wife cheated and I am still here because I feel stuck. The kids, finances and not wanting to face the my family about what she did is what's keeping me here. I'd want to leave and never see her ever again if we had no kids. Bottom line is, I can't forgive and honestly I don't want to forgive her. I want out and need to see how I can go about it.
This sounds like a mature decision you’ve taken the time to cool out from the initial drama of discovery and see how things go with hopes for the best, because if you can’t forgive , then you’re - even subconsciously - poisoning the relationship. Is she doing the work to show her commitment to you and have you gotten personal counseling at least for you to learn to let it go or help you build a bridge to what your new life will look like? How you can stabilize that for your children in a different living space than your wife? That might be healthier than stewing in resentment in front of them and might help you adjust to the risk she took against the family when she cheated.
I also love how you said there are no magic words or actions to make you feel complete because your right, no matter what he does or says or how perfect he acts now, it can never take away the pain
Such a great message. Thank you, I really needed to hear it. I stayed after the affair. I want it to work, but I am having the hardest time forgiving her.
I've been going through a lot of self-help and coaching providers lately (for the obvious reason of needing them) and I found a soft spot for your videos. Thank you for taking the time.
Great video content and very insightful as well as helpful. You are a very kind person and prove this through your ability to be vulnerable on this platform. Thank you for your information and advice. It truly helps. Cheers!
Thank you so much, your videos have been so helpful and supportive. Helping be better understand and not feel alone in this. Incredibly grateful for you.
What about if they don’t do the work? 6 year marriage, she had an affair, I found out, got couple’s therapist, she moved out, gave us two sessions, and bailed. Two weeks of separation and she decided we’re over. How do I unburden myself and forgive them for this incredible betrayal? It’s not even the affair that bothers me, but the abandonment of our marriage, the breaking of all the promises we made that we’d always work on things together.
Sometimes that's the most painful part - I know it was for me. I felt like I wasn't even worth the effort. In time, I was able to see this as a sign of his character/cowardice/traumas and not a reflection of my worth. I hope one day you can see the same.
@@lisaarends8742 yea, it really helps me see the person she is now as being unworthy. But it’s hard to differentiate who they are now from who they seemed to be even just a few weeks before. It’s hard to not question everything they said, when the lies started, etc. Trying to do the work, trying to survive to the day where maybe it’s easier and things are “okay” Thanks for your videos. They really help. Feels normalizing and validating.
@@chronosoSorry your hurting brother. If I could chime in a little bit. I think you just have to start to let go of her, the relationship and memories. It gets easier I promise you. God will give you something greater
What if what they did just is too much? I mean it changed our lives so much forever. He now has a new baby ....I just can't find my way thru this. What if it's just too much
Lisa I’m heartbroken, have been since my husband went out late at night when I was in bed my birthday actually, now three years on the truth is he was having sex with someone even older than me I’m 70 I’m struggling with this it’s a nightmare and he tells me lies and I can’t go on like this anymore please help I’ve listened to loads of your videos I knew you just summit all up so well it is exactly how I’m feeling so I don’t know the way out I did it for a lady of my age I don’t know like I really don’t but I I watch you very very often and I’m actually learning a lot from your advice thank you but how does it how can I make this hurt leave me xx
I resonate with everything you say. Thank you for sharing this important topic in such a clear and concise way. I am trying to forgive and move forward. It's not easy, and I struggle with the pain every day, but I hope and pray that it gets easier. 🙏 ❤️🩹
I’m still in my marriage after a year and a half of his betrayal, I think I need to play this back every single day, I really needed to hear this, but it’s really hard to forgive him
Why are you still with?
Update? Does it ever get better? I'm struggling trying to have peace of mind.
It's 2 and a half years for me. My wife cheated and I am still here because I feel stuck. The kids, finances and not wanting to face the my family about what she did is what's keeping me here. I'd want to leave and never see her ever again if we had no kids. Bottom line is, I can't forgive and honestly I don't want to forgive her. I want out and need to see how I can go about it.
This sounds like a mature decision you’ve taken the time to cool out from the initial drama of discovery and see how things go with hopes for the best, because if you can’t forgive , then you’re - even subconsciously - poisoning the relationship.
Is she doing the work to show her commitment to you and have you gotten personal counseling at least for you to learn to let it go or help you build a bridge to what your new life will look like? How you can stabilize that for your children in a different living space than your wife? That might be healthier than stewing in resentment in front of them and might help you adjust to the risk she took against the family when she cheated.
I also love how you said there are no magic words or actions to make you feel complete because your right, no matter what he does or says or how perfect he acts now, it can never take away the pain
They kind of are what they did.
While it may not define that person's lifetime - it does define their moral compass direction.
FANTASTIC discussion. So insightful, spot on! As the betrayed I need to listen to this daily. Thank you!!
Such a great message. Thank you, I really needed to hear it. I stayed after the affair. I want it to work, but I am having the hardest time forgiving her.
As much as I want too
I really don't think I could ever forgive
Same
I've been going through a lot of self-help and coaching providers lately (for the obvious reason of needing them) and I found a soft spot for your videos. Thank you for taking the time.
needed this message today
I hope you find a great partner when u r ready- you have integrity
Great video content and very insightful as well as helpful. You are a very kind person and prove this through your ability to be vulnerable on this platform. Thank you for your information and advice. It truly helps. Cheers!
Thank you very much. Everything you have said makes sence now. I really needed this message. God bless you.
Thank you so much, your videos have been so helpful and supportive. Helping be better understand and not feel alone in this. Incredibly grateful for you.
You are great- period
I dont want to hurt him i just reslly want it to go away but it will never go away now
What about if they don’t do the work? 6 year marriage, she had an affair, I found out, got couple’s therapist, she moved out, gave us two sessions, and bailed. Two weeks of separation and she decided we’re over. How do I unburden myself and forgive them for this incredible betrayal? It’s not even the affair that bothers me, but the abandonment of our marriage, the breaking of all the promises we made that we’d always work on things together.
Sometimes that's the most painful part - I know it was for me. I felt like I wasn't even worth the effort. In time, I was able to see this as a sign of his character/cowardice/traumas and not a reflection of my worth. I hope one day you can see the same.
@@lisaarends8742 yea, it really helps me see the person she is now as being unworthy. But it’s hard to differentiate who they are now from who they seemed to be even just a few weeks before. It’s hard to not question everything they said, when the lies started, etc.
Trying to do the work, trying to survive to the day where maybe it’s easier and things are “okay”
Thanks for your videos. They really help. Feels normalizing and validating.
@@chronosoSorry your hurting brother. If I could chime in a little bit. I think you just have to start to let go of her, the relationship and memories. It gets easier I promise you. God will give you something greater
What if what they did just is too much? I mean it changed our lives so much forever. He now has a new baby ....I just can't find my way thru this. What if it's just too much
Lisa I’m heartbroken, have been since my husband went out late at night when I was in bed my birthday actually, now three years on the truth is he was having sex with someone even older than me I’m 70 I’m struggling with this it’s a nightmare and he tells me lies and I can’t go on like this anymore please help I’ve listened to loads of your videos I knew you just summit all up so well it is exactly how I’m feeling so I don’t know the way out I did it for a lady of my age I don’t know like I really don’t but I I watch you very very often and I’m actually learning a lot from your advice thank you but how does it how can I make this hurt leave me xx
I feel your pain 😢
So basically yiu the betrayed are to just keep eating shit while the cheater got all the sexy funtimes and no consequences
I resonate with everything you say. Thank you for sharing this important topic in such a clear and concise way. I am trying to forgive and move forward. It's not easy, and I struggle with the pain every day, but I hope and pray that it gets easier. 🙏 ❤️🩹