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My Recovery.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ต.ค. 2023
- This is the last time I'm going to discuss this. The music industry is notoriously known for dr*gs and artists developing issues with addiction, rehabilitation and even tragedies. I generally refuse to discuss my experience and past regarding this issue with the press, as I feel they are only looking to sell papers when they ask. So, today, I'm going to try and talk about it here. If you're struggling with addiction and a musician, check out MusiCares: www.musicares.... or if you're not a musician check out MIND: www.mind.org.u...
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If you're struggling with addiction and a musician, check out MusiCares: www.musicares.org/get-help/addiction-recovery or if you're not a musician check out MIND: www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/recreational-drugs-alcohol-and-addiction/drug-and-alcohol-addiction-useful-contacts/
i was an addict before becoming a musician.. basically because of my addiction i thought about becoming a rockstar so i can get all those things, more drugs and sex.. eventually i did got them just not as a musician.. turns out its nothing but fool's gold. the exchange rate for the high you get is a very very bad lowest of lows. its fucked up and its hard to describe to non drug users. but i quit couple of years back but my dream as a rockstar remained. and now here i am.
Does pot count as a drug?
Sorry jojo. Don’t ever hop back on. The lowers just get lower on that bus.
@@Wakkawakkawakkawah, It depends on how you use it. I don’t think it’s addictive. I use it to get to sleep. I’ve recently tried microdosing mushrooms, with the help of a therapist, but I don’t think I’ve used them enough to notice a difference.
@@SuziQ. i take a naturalish pill called night rest with melatonin and a few other things. Only thing that has worked for me. Ambien had me doing all sorts of sleepwalking waking up in weird places. The knockoff ambien is so inconsistent and dangerous it should be banned to be honest. Ganga, especially a nice indica, can really help with sleep. Have you heard or the term California-sober? Weed only. No alcohol. Just to wrap this around, mushrooms can really help in the right dosage for certain things. Don’t try to go too far too fast.
I am a 61 year old musician, alcoholic, & addicted to opiods and smoke weed everyday. I am day 2 sober without alcohol & weed and a friend is getting me a few suboxones to get through the opiods withdrawals. Thanks for inspiring me to get clean & sober. I didn't even search for you yet you appeared in my feed today. God works in weird ways.🙏
You might want to think about a proper Suboxone detox with a program Trust me a few subs are not going to do the trick Good luck
Just wanna send you some good vibes and perseverance. I know what you're going through, the grass is greener on the other side! It's a tough climb to get there, but it's worth it.
Suboxone is a damn miracle! Shit 100% saved my life.. idk if I'd have been able to quit as quickly or as easily as I did without it.
(you might want to check to see if you can get it prescribed. It's gotten A LOT easier to get a script for it than it used to be!)
P.S. I'm super proud of you man. Two things:
1. remember that if you mess up and use again, it's no biggie! We all make mistakes, all we can do is keep truckin' along :)
2. be around people. That's key for early sobriety. Just try to spend time around good, positive people that you enjoy.. it does wonders for keeping you out of your head!
Wishing you all the best❤
Hang in there. Keep being brave and keep fighting. ❤
I grew up living in hotel rooms with my mother who was a meth dealer, and my sister was an addict as well...they both did about 5 years a piece in prison. I turned 18 during the oxycontin craze in Seattle, and eventually was living out of my car as a heroin dealer from about 19-23. It took my entire music career away from me, and the years that followed were just spent doing nothing due to the trauma. Im 11 years sober, and now restarting my music career.
Where are you from? Seattle?
May I ask about your grandparents?. Were they clean. Or addicted to anything..
I keep seeing a generation of people who had parents that uses powders.. which was more uncommon years ago.. ( unless it was common and the internet has just made it more noticeable from people able to talk about it..)...
But I'm just trying to figure out where this whole generation of parents on meth or heroin come from.
Were there parents alchaholics or straight or junkies too ..
Sorry if the questions seem bizarre.. I'm just trying to figure out the "generational psychology" ( so to speak) of what's going on here in the world...
@@Add_Account485 my grandmother used to drink and smoke a lot on both sides, they eventually quit but it still gave my grandpa COPD and he just passed not to long ago. Anyhow I had my aunt and uncle on my mom's side who both died way too young from alcoholism. Plus my dad's side everyone drank and smoked cigarettes. My great grandfather was an alcoholic but lived to be 97 years old. So it's basically in my DNA to be an addict. If you think about it everyone is addicted to something. It could be your phone. People freak out when they can't find their phone or if the battery is low. I know if I do then these streamer guys will absolutely flip out if they get a low battery.
@@Add_Account485 I also think it's the way you grew up, what people were around you, what you watched on TV, what you were told by your folks and other people. It's basically his you were programmed is how someone will act. That's why my generation is probably the last decent generation cause we grew up with Nintendo NES and no smart phones, no smart anything. If we did and we live streamed my late teens/early 20's there was so much crap I did and other people did that would've went viral. Lots of fights at hotel parties, women fighting, women getting drunk, guys getting drunk and trying to jump me cause at the time I was a weed and pill dealer. I was selling oxycontin and Xanax way before anyone knew what they were from all these rap songs. I'd get somas, Percocet, Xanax, Valium, oxy 80's, and I sold weed too. I'm not a scumbag though so I didn't peer pressure anyone to do anything they didn't want to do. These kids got it really bad nowadays with all these analogs and fentanyl. At least when I was doing it oxycontin was just a long acting Percocet and now these kids gotta worry about fake pressed pills. Some of them are that good and other are made very shitty. They just buy a cheap pill press and they look so obviously fake. That's another problem when you go to a doctor and try to get a script for Klonopin cause you have legit benzo induced brain injury and they have no idea what it is, I printed out papers and they barely even wanted to read them. They just think you're a junkie looking for pills. If that was the case I wouldn't be at the ER, I'd be looking for pills to get better and taper you off according to the symptoms I feel. Just likes Dr B said, it should be up to me to see as fast as I can go and you should never be forced off them which is what the old Dr at the older methadone clinic I went to. He basically said to pick one or the other which is so unprofessional. He was just worried about his license cause he's a former junkie that got his license back eventually. He also got everyone hooked on gabapentin and people are taking handfuls of that shit now. DeFranco has blood on his hands. I'd love for people to call in his office and call him a murderer and a psychopath. Shit I might even do it. He killed two of my friends by forcing them off benzos. One ended up overdosing and the other committed suicide. Plus there are other people there that are on them.
I'm sorry you had such a rough upbringing. You should be very proud of yourself for overcoming it. Congrats on your sobriety!
I feel like this podcast overpromises. The titles and descriptions lead us to expect complete honesty and transparency, but it never quite gets there. Jenny May Finn is amazing, giving Justin every chance to really dig into his feelings, experiences, and insights. And although Justin cracks a little, he just can't get there. Always dodging, always shifting, always skirting the issue. As he said toward the end of this episode, "Why is this about me??" That pretty much sums up this podcast.
He's not perfect. He's a human being......❤
I know weed doesn't seem bad. But I've spent all of my money on it for nearly 15 years now. I'm now 5 days clean. Not alot I know but I'm being honest... I'm proud of myself.
Well done, stick with it mate. It’s difficult being in a non altered state at first, but give it a month and you’ll feel much better. I gave up 8 years ago and my wallet is much happier for it.
@@benwatkins3794 yh that's the thing reality doesn't feel real atm. But I've been told it does pass.
So you should be! Keep it up friend.
Before you spent all your money on it for 15 years you started off spending money on it for 5 days. It didnt seem much at the time but look what it turned in to.
Hopefully these 5 days turn into 15 years away from it. Keep going my friend. Wishing you all the best.
Doesn't weed make people quite lazy too?
I wish so many younger kids would watch and listen. A good friend of mine's son (15 yo) died last week from fentanyl. He thought it was a pain reliever from a fellow skateboard friend. His dad went to wake him up in the AM and he was gone. Every parent's absolute worst nightmare. Drugs F'ing suck!! On another note if you haven't seen the Darkness live DO IT! My daughter and I saw them recently and had a blast rocking out. Justin gets the audience in the palm of his hands immediately. Phenomenal front man. 😎🤟
I stopped using heroin right around the time fentanyl was getting big. That stuff is _terrifying,_ and they cut so many things with it.. even shit that doesn't make sense to cut with an opiate. It's absolutely WILD that a drug can make heroin look like an extremely safe drug in comparison😂
@@idontwantahandlethoughyeah i have a long term heroin addiction, never heard of anybody dying from smoking it until fentanyl came in when two guys i knew died from smoking £10s worth shared at the same time next to each ither. Terrifying stuff.
fentanyl f'ing sucks.
I was bought up like you with a work ethic from my dad which keeps me busy. I have alcoholic tendencies and keeping busy avoids drinking, sport (cycling and exercise) has also been my saviour for many years. I'm 50 now, still keeping busy, less sport. What I fear the most is retirement and having too much time with little to do. My point to all of this is I think as part of our armoury we need to be able to learn how to be comfortable doing absolutely nothing as Jenny was saying.
Good episode 👏
i worked a show u guys did last year in Margate, i was a crew member, I was genuinely suprised at the LACK of drugs and alcahol that surrounded the show.. I've worked a few other shows close to your gig and we had people smoking various classes of drugs backstage, drinking til wrecked almost mid show.. By far, you were probably the most honest up front and clean band i had seen there in months. Its very refreshing and the show was astounding. My favourite part was doing the pack at the end and coming back to the stage to grab some cases to load into the lorries (think it was stacks of les pauls cases actually haha) and i look stage-left at the stair well and there's you Justin, In nothin but a pair of Y fronts dancing i think.. Literally shocked and in stitches made it funny as hell and an honor to work the show. You guys rock it and Justin congratulations getting through it and keeping your head high through the years with the addictions. Its hard and stressful, i have been there too and its hard to walk away from it. I knocked the drink on the head a few years back and it was dangerous to me. As your co host says on the show its the little people that can be the barrier between you and that path. It was for me and im so glad because i became something i did not want to be. Now my mind is not clouded with that sh*t and i can pick up my guitar have my son watching me play and showing him the roots of rock at 3 years old. with drugs n drink i could not find the time, nor the patience to do it.. I think you have to experience it first hand to understand. Music has been my saviour and im not famous ive played in bands that went no where but ive always had the dream. being nearly 40 now my dream still remains but i almost destroyed it for myself by being off my tits all the time. I don't know why im blurting this out but its been really nice to watch this video and i appreciate the true honesty from a rock legend! keep on rocking dude!
Thanks for sharing man!
Fantastic open conversation. Thanks for this, the sigh at 16.52 brought me almost to tears - I don’t know what you were remembering but I have memories that feel the same
I’ve seen the Darkness perform both pre and post hiatus. The level of professionalism and stamina displayed at post hiatus shows is incredible. You’re such a more polished and impressive act now. Can’t wait to see you again in Melbourne next Feb
Can't agree more. The live act now is way better than in those early days. The band is tight as f, drumming is definitely on another level and the whole performance, at least in my opinion is much, much better now.
Your level of fame must be the perfect level. You had a number 1 hit, sold millions of records, toured the world. Yet you can still walk the streets unnoticed, and noticed only by people who love your music.
That represents success for me personally. Revered by those in the know, yet not bothered and hassled 24/7
I think it's more to do with the fact he's in Soho (or actually Noho) and people generally go about their business there + if you see a celebrity you don't fall over yourself to speak to them. I once walked past Paul McCartney on the adjacent street and he was on his own without being hassled...
@@JimmyWin501 I am very jealous. That`s awesome!! macca!!
Well spoken. This must be the perfect level.
The voice actors on The Simpsons have it the best. They “work” 30 minutes a week and are paid millions, and that’s not including the residuals from all the reruns in syndication and merchandising, and whatever else they get on the back end. Almost know one knows what they look like so they can go out in public anywhere, even in Hollywood, and no one would would bug them for an autograph telling them how they are their biggest fan and have a fantasy about meeting them in public and then getting married, getting all creepy like. But when they want the attention they just use “the voice” and anyone in earshot older that 20 will immediately know who they are and start treating them they way we all imaging celebrities get treated by true fans. Getting ignored by the hot blond in the club? Just bust out the Apu voice and say something about melon flavored Slushies and he’s banging her in the Uber on the way to his house in Calabasas.
@@trippmoorehaha that’s true. I will say in regards to Apu,, Ironically Hank Azaria is the one actor from the Simpson’s I would recognize in public because he’s actually acted in a good bit of live actions stuff, movies and tv. He’s a great actor too, he really should take more live action roles. I loved Ray Donovan in its early seasons, I think that was the first show I’d seen him in where someone pointed him out to me.
You two are so good together and this was a great conversation! Thank you!
Hey- I'm a 52 year old artist who's well familiar with many of these pastures and have to say this was a wonderfully earnest, sincere, honest and open conversation that helped me reaffirm some positives in my life. well done, Justin. thank you for being so candid
This was intense! Thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts. This is a topic that needs to be discussed.
I do love Jenny May. Observant, compassionate, kind, always asking the right questions and then holding back to give Justin the room to talk. What a woman!
"I knew it wouldn't end well." Same experience with me and alcohol. I knew but I didn't care. Luckily, there came 15 minutes during which I DID care and was clear enough to make life saving decisions before it turned really bad. But that was after five years of heavy drinking.
Justin, over the years you have not only inspired me as a guitarist, a vocalist, a songwriter, but also by you being an amazing human being. Thank you for being so honest and open, and for offering up these podcasts/interviews which continue to inspire and entertain. Absolute legend! All the best bro!
Seriously, no lie, Jenny would make a fantastic therapist. Really commend you Justin for sharing your personal experience with alcohol and drugs.
Who hasn't
I really didn't like her input at all.
@@jasoncdebussy What input didn't you like and how would you of done the interview?... Just want to laugh at your answer 😂😂
@@Bpg5012trickI found her quite contrary. The interview was about Justin - her opinions are irrelevant.
Because you disagree with me you are going to laugh? Is that how you conduct your life? How sad.
@@jasoncdebussy How was she contrary. I didn't see her asking questions to put him down or to make fun of him. If this is the last time he is going to talk about this subject. You are going to ask questions other people will want to know. If Justin is happy with how she did the interview, then that's all that matters. Any questions he didn't want to answer, he just moved on. All I seen was two friends having a chat.
Dear beautiful human, Dear Justin, thank you for this episode. It's not just musician, I must confess I'm a housewife, 53, when I was 30 I went true a drug addiction. For 10 years I was addicted to speed, and I must say, It's was easier (for me) to cut off the hard drugs than cigarettes or alcohol, as you have to go and get it in a different environment (underground if that make sense)... I'm glad I'm off that shit and wish everybody the strenght to do the same! Warm hug from a stranger from the Netherlands ❤
It seems weird to people who haven't been addicted to anything, but I think that makes a lot of sense! It's fairly easy to make sure you don't see the illegal, hard drugs in your day to day life.. you just stop associating with those people. But alcohol and cigarettes are *EVERYWHERE,* and that makes it so much harder. And food addicts have it even worse: they don't even get to stop doing the thing they're addicted to! That sounds like an actual nightmare tbh 😶
Big hug to you Christel.. Hope we can All walk each other Home. I just want to feel safe.. Best wishes 🌹
The Speed and coke cocktail is the best ever. 🍸
Alcohol? Is the Hardest drug of all. 😢
@@SimplyStopMotionActionFigureFu yep, how many times you fall of the wagon, but this the socialy accepted addiction.... try at a party, no thank you I try to drink less..... aaah just one, there is no harm done. ...
But everybody who strugles.... listnen to Dax song about (dear) alcohol , so relatable.... keep on goiing, pick yourself up and try again... hug for all who need it!!!
A punk attitude while living a rock n roll life, thats a combo not many can authentically pull off and you’re still doing it….minus the class A’s.
Triumphant, I applaud your honesty.
Well done, Justin Hawkins.
Really interesting conversation. I'm a mental health nurse, and I work specifically with addiction/substance abuse...when we talk about "recovery" in our clinics it's often more focused on recovering from the prolonged traumas that have resulted in a need to self medicate.
P.s I am not sure if the memoir thing is a joke, but I really hope it isn't as I would preorder it this hour if I could aha. Much love 💜
Harm reduction techniques too... def a part of the way forward. Am presuming you are familiar with Gabor Mate.
Memoir is real and coming soon
I adore how Jenny May Finn did not shy away from difficult questions.
I also love how honest Justin's answers were...
My father was a musician and he died young ...
This interview was important to listen to. ❤
Thank you for talking about this so candidly...❤
The fear of being still is a very real thing. I think I can see that fear in you Justin. I really loved the piece between you and Jenny around 'not doing anything'. Her gentle challenges and you trying to acknowledge that fear but feeling uncomfortable and being defensive. That's human interaction at its realest.
Agreed. He's not alone in this. It can be really scary. To be alone with your thoughts. I try to avoid that as well, I'm aware of it. I want to learn it. I sometimes go out for lunch by myself and just watch people and drink coffee and try to do nothing.
@@Plottoberrythe being alone with your thoughts part is so true! I am in early recovery and it really is difficult, especially with having a phone that is a stand in for a distraction device near us at all times. I recognize how much I use it as a crutch to not be alone with my thoughts, and i really liked hearing about how you go out alone and just be. I will take a page out of your book, my friend 😊
Sounds so much like me. I went from straight edge 13yrs old to 27 (rebel against my peers who were drinking doing other things). At 27 I just broke from a really unhealthy marriage and things got bad. 6 years sober and 3 months no nicotine. If anyone is struggling, there's a better life and a better way. Fight for it.
Hell yeah dude! Proud of you 🤗
me, about 25 bad break-up, led to coke, felt amazing, confident and assured... but it really just offset the problems till later... and the crash was not great... Dont do drugs kids, its expensive and doesnt help in the long run...
Same Age. Same dates Brother I am here if you ever need to talk. Im 33 as well.
Many years ago I worked for a rather well sort of advertising agency. Drug taking was rife throughout the office. I didn't really fit in and in the end rather than give in to temptation and the pressure of colleagues I quit a very well paying job. I struggled a lot professionally after that and for a long time, regretted my decision until one day seeing one of my former colleagues who had lost everything, was divorced and no longer saw his kids due to his constant battle with drink and drugs. I came home to my family so thankful that I made the right decision. Please think carefully kids before taking that leap. I was just very very lucky
People think you are spouting cliches when you say a sober life is better but it really, really is. Physically and mentally. Not feeling constantly ill or tired all the time
I really appreciate these videos. SO GOOD AND HONEST. Thank you guys for doing these
This is a fake interview. Don't believe what you hear
Justin,this was a great piece of work! You are a breath of fresh air in the world of podcasts. Thank you.❤
Trouble with coming off drugs is spending the rest of your life wanting them
Exactly
Simply put, and boy it's true.
But it does get better. I was sober from opiates for 3yrs, then friggin' relapsed, and I miss when I was sober, my life was much better, but getting thru these wd's is such a bitch, esp now that I'm older & out of shape.
You've got this, man. It's so worth it. I remember how beautiful everything was to me when I first got clean. I try to think of that daily.
I'm 22 years clean and sober. I don't ever even think of using or drinking. Haven't had a craving for 20 years.
Ah yeah this is good… but it would be soooo much better on drugs. That’s it in a nutshell . Sucks eh 😢
The conversations between you and Jenny are always so candid and appreciated, thankyou
Thank you for putting this out there Justin! Love your story and been a fan since 2002!
Very good and honest interview, Justin! You touch some important issues in a brilliant way. With drugs and alcohol there are highs and lows, both creative energy and destructive bad behaviour. We all have to cope with our own lives and deal with all kinds of temptations and easy escape routes. Luckily I have no addictions beyond coffee. Lots of respect to those who manage to stay clean.
This is such an honest and brave episode, your chats with Jenny are always fab. Thank you x
I used to have a drug problem when I was playing music and shows for fun...when I didn't have drugs I had a problem! But seriously, I hope your conversation helps those how really have struggles and need support. It's much appreciated that you're being candid and addressing what is a difficult topic.
DAMN Justin glad to hear I am not the only one caught in a loop! Several glitches in the Matrix I still deal with that shit at 53!
I love you Justin! You’re just a damn good dude.
Thank you for this video, as well as the alcohol discussion previously. I've thought about nothing but having a music career for over a decade now and am finally taking the risks to do so, but my anxiety and previous addiction issues are creeping up to stop me once again, and this helps so much to keep trying harder every day and not be afraid to ask for help.
I just saw The Darkness play in Los Angeles and I think when a frontman has a regulated nervous system, there's this sense that someone isn't PUSHING. I don't think drug use and being a badass are inherently linked. I think badassery comes from skill, especially skill that is sustained over time. I feel like anyone can scream it out and be indulgent and usually burn out. But it's so amazing to see people endlessly level up their skillset forever with passion that burns from within. Tenacity is more badass than juvenile dangerous wildness. Tenacity comes from a different place. I love seeing a performer who is well regulated so they can channel spontaneity. I think "drug behavior" has an edgelord quality that is boring and predictable, exhausting and obviously dangerous, and it has never felt as badass as fierce skillz.
Yo! Agree. Great post
Agreed !! 💯
Yeah, I like that.
i worked at a rehab for 10 years and lost a brother to addiction.. most addiction comes from some form of mental illness but some are genetically predisposed to addiction ....i like this bluntly honest video one of the best ive seen
This resonated with me, thank you Justin. I think I'm in recovery from the self-harming behaviours I did to feel acceptable with undiagnosed ADHD.
I'm trying to remove the belief that I'm not up to the right standard to exist around people. If I find a healthier belief to replace it, maybe I'll consider myself recovered.
So now I'm open about how my brain works and how crap my memory is. These days other people are usually on board: I can say, whoops I have no idea if I locked the door, and it's fine.
Combined with large quantities of CBD, this has led me to feel a lot less horrible about getting in loops or forgetting stuff. It's removed the dysphoria that had me bingeing in the past.
I'm also learning to appreciate the fun surprises that my wonky brain gives me. Chaos can produce serendipity, and serendipity is the mother of invention.
Thanks for doing this Justin, there's help out there, for everyone who seeks it. But first you have to admit (to yourself) that you have a problem. That's not always easy
The last 20 minutes of this were fascinating. I had a lot of anxiety issues and when covid kicked off i started daily meditation and it has transformed my life. I think the most valuable lesson in life is learning to just be, to just exist, to feel content in the here and now. It's not easy but it's worth it. All we have is the here and now and we don't need to be always doing and striving and pushing ourselves. It's really about detaching from all those societal pressures and norms that tell what we should be doing and wanting. As young kids we're all great at just being and existing. It's only as we grow up and learn all this stuff from society, friends, parents, schools, media etc that we start needing and wanting to do more and be more and prove ourselves as worthy. But we're all worthy just as we are. It's about learning that and accepting that. And it's also possible to be a total hippie and a total punk/rock fan at the same time 😄
@IndieRockerHippy - great comment ⭐️
A very enjoyable read,great comments!
Thanks for sharing Justin. Transmuting dark times into light for yourself and others is beautiful. Helping others has always helped me to lessen my self centeredness and connect to myself and others more deeply.
How I stopped smoking, just as you described stopping drug use.
I didn’t buy them and didn’t smoke them, I had to stop hanging around people and places that had smoking happening, one day at a time.
Thank you for opening up, Justin. It's such an uncomfortable topic and you're right.. media tends to sensationalise it to no end other than cheap entertainment. Your discussion was frank and without the "juicy" details.. it was honest and open hearted.. true to yourself. And Jenny is just lovely. The questions weren't attention seeking, but rather thought provoking and sincere. Thank you again for sharing.
As a fan, I'm aware that you don't like to talk about your drugstory (drug history) but I'm super glad that you did! And I'm glad you're not glamorizing it!
I'm a 43 yr old chemical dependency counsellor in Ontario Canada, and I'm also in recovery myself. Im also a musician, and have seen many friends and fellow musicians lose themselves and everything due to drugs and drink. I think that addiction is an equal-opportunity problem, and education, empathy, and tenacity are absolutely vital to helping ourselves and others navigate towards and into recovery. Keep up the good work.
Hey I’m trying to get into Canada from America but had a felony in America when I was using, trying to get a prescription fraudulenty , but my question is does Canada consider the charges or are I’m just screwed?
Only in North America you can be an addict and anaddiction counselor.
This is such a refreshing and honest video, you're amazing Justin!
A very good friend of mine passed away this week from an overdose. At this point. That's all.
So much love and healing to you Mr. Hawkins ❤
While I never had an addiction problem, I am someone who does not like to waste my time. That being said, I highly HIGHLY value moments where I stop to just be present. My living room has a picture window looking out into our garden. Sometimes, usually when I'm drinking my morning coffee, I take a moment to just sit and look out the window and appreciate where I am. I don't do it often, but it really helps me appreciate what I have. Don't think of taking a moment to do nothing as a waste of time. If anything it's an incredibly valuable USE of time. Being able to appreciate your very existence is an amazing feeling and is not a privilege everyone gets to enjoy.
Well said! I am a person living in long term recovery and mindfulness, as I believe what you are talking about is called in recovery circles, is a really important part of my morning routine. It is easy, especially as fast paced as the world now is, to get caught up in what happened in the past or what may happen in the future. I agree that taking time to just be present in the moment is super important. That, combined with gratitude!
@@aaronbickford8725 Glad to hear there's some science behind what I was talking about! I have a therapist but mindfulness is not something that has ever been taught to me, it's actually a coping mechanism I learned after I finally escaped my call center job. I started a new job and didn't have to talk on the phone and I suddenly realized how wonderful the sound of silence is haha. I never had a quiet moment at the call center job and being able to stop and appreciate a moment of peace and quiet was euphoric. That doesn't developed into me either actively seeking out a quiet moment to myself, or taking the time to appreciate it when it came naturally.
Coffee is a drug
@@moncrayon My point was not to say that my drug is better and more ethical than anyone else's drugs. My point was to say that I have not experienced the serious chemical dependency that harder drugs cause. I don't understand addiction the same way as people that suffer from opiate or alcohol addiction. Yes, coffee is a psychoactive drug. But if I start talking to someone who's sober and try to act like I know what they're going through because I like coffee, they're going to laugh in my face.
Shouldn't say I've never had an addiction problem when your channel name is "Caffeinated". Just makes you sound discredited right from the start
I really enjoyed this episode. Thanks to Justin for being so open about things which are obviously still uncomfortable and difficult to talk about. I absolutely 100% relate to the awkward laughs - that's my go to when I'm in a bind. It was also just really interesting and sensitively conducted. Bravo 🔥
The willingness to be open and vulnerable like this - is so damn valuable. I don't want to call it brave or courageous, because it's just... human. And that's where the true inspiration resides.
There's a peculiar kinship to having experienced addiction, and corresponding mental health matters. Humbling and heartening, all at once.
Also... The power to just be, and 'do' nothing ♥️ yes, Jenny!!
I have been sober/clean for 33 years. There were a few false starts in the beginning. It happens. Don’t let it discourage you. Just use it a lesson. See if you can figure out why you slipped and have a plan for the next time. You can do this, if that’s what you want.
There's always a few false starts mate, it's what makes us learn what not to do.
33 years for me too...well done my friend...
36 years for me.
Strong enough to come clean about it, nothing but respect for Justin!
See you at the gig in a month
🙂
I met Justin once in Camden -and he is a genuinely lovely human being....
dangit, I'm now mildly in love with jenny may. such calm, thoughtful conversation, and her smile....
As others have mentioned here (I don’t wanna diagnose anyone with anything) a lot of what Justin talks about in this episode is very relatable as someone with ADHD that was diagnosed as an adult, as it encompasses more than people think. Drug use, inability to focus on something you don’t care about unless you ‘trick’ yourself into it, thought loops, inability to relax etc etc are all things I and many other people with ADHD can relate to. If anyone reading this feels like they can relate to, please have a look into ADHD. The definition has changed so that ADD is now ADHD Inattentive type so the traditional ‘hyperactivity’ element doesn’t need to be present. The Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale (ASRSv1.1) is a good, quick, first pre assessment to check out. It won’t tell you if you have ADHD, but it can tell you if it’s something worth looking into.
Justin, I also suffer from OCD. I suffer from thoughts that repeat constantly in my head. It’s a nightmare.
I also hate when people say “I’m a bit OCD”.
I don’t think there is enough awareness about this chronic illness. Thank you for talking about it.
I also have OCD and cannot stand that ‘it’s just my OCD side coming out’.. get fucked. Trivialises the day to day trauma of the disease!
Very true. My partner has OCD, I think its more related to tourette syndrome than folks understand, at least how I perceive it. The struggle is largely internal and invisible to anyone on the outside but I know those with it suffer deeply and are constantly battling a barrage of invasive internal attacks while trying to maintain a facade of being “ok.” I do think, though, culture is starting to become more aware to folks with neurodivergence and its becoming less stigmatized, slowly but surely
Don't want to seem like I'm presuming to have a real solution to OCD, but I'll throw this out just in case it can help anyone.
The therapy known as AEDP sees our emotional state as tending to be at one of three tiers. At the first, the most alienated, one is doing things sort of compulsively without gaining real satisfaction from them. It could be scrolling and swiping, nose picking, commenting excessively online, smoking, drinking, taking drugs etc. and any one of thousands of other examples, but I'm talknig about it because the book* I read on this mentions OCD behaviours as one of those examples. *'It's Not Always Depression' by Hilary Jacobs Hendel.
They way of getting out of compulsive behaviour is to recognise that it's driven by anxiety: the second tier. Hendel suggests you do a little negotiation with yourself: can I set aside the compulive behaviour and just let myself feel the anxiety? And if it's too much, I can always go back to the compulsion. But the great thing is, you don't have to stay at anxiety anyway, because AEDP sees this as just another screen for the third tier: real emotion.
What's the difference between anxiety and 'real emotion"? As I understand it, anxiety is hermetic, bound up with the self: I must be better, I must punish myself etc. Real emotions like grief, rage and disgust, but also joy, love and sexual arousal are about relationships with people or situations outside ourselves that we can't control. Anxiety and self punishment, awful as they are, offer the illusion of control, e.g. a little boy's father dies and rather than give in to the grief, which would be an admission that the father is really gone and there's nothing he can do about it, he torments himself lying awake at night imagining that the father has been buried alive and he should go and try to dig him up.
Agains, Hendel recommends a little negotiation: can I set aside the anxiety, self punishment, tension etc. and see what it is I really feel? If it's too much, one can always go back to the anxiety or the compulsive behaviour. But gradually, one can open up to more and more feeling. The way to do this is physically: once you are ready to feel what you really feel, sit and wait for the feeling to come. If you assume you know what it is already (e.g. a lot of people assume they're blocking rage), you won't really feel it and you may miss out on a surprising insight. For instance, through this process, I've found I'm bottling up a lot of joy and good feeling for people because that was what was blocked when I was growing up.
I have OCD as well--and it bugs me, too, when people throw the term around. There are many different flavors of OCD, but they pretty much always revolve around grappling with irresolvable anxiety and an inability to reach a state where you feel everything is okay. When you deal with an illness where the sense of impending catastrophe can be absolutely crushing, hearing someone chuckle about their OCD-ish penchant for neatness can be infuriating.
Wishing lots of strength to those who deal with it and their loved ones. It can definitely be managed, if you're currently struggling. I'm in a better place with my own. It's always a process, but a doable one.
@ashleymerritt9461 i have had two bosses as a psych nurse. One is totally "im a bit OCD" and the other one has had to be hospitalized over obsessive thoughts.
I spent the first half an hour of this thinking "Justin clearly has ADHD", so pleased it was brought up! OCD and ADHD share a lot of symptoms too. I was diagnosed with OCD as a teenager and I've just turned 40 and been diagnosed with ADHD. Definitely worth investigating.
Yup, those OCD-like behaviors and loops are just things that our brains do to form feedback loops. I personally get random thoughts stuck in my head, for days, years, or my lifetime, and when I’m alone I might verbalize or repeat them, but when I’m masking I try to avoid doing that-but then there are a couple of memetic things I will occasionally release among folks I’m close to or comfortable with, because they know I’m not a total Kook.
The meds with or without caffeine often makes that tendency worse, and frankly the reason I live like a slob despite it bothering me to a point of causing discomfort and unhappiness, it’s also extremely difficult to ever get started on the process of cleaning, especially because I know that once I get started that I won’t be able to stop until it’s done or my body gives up or I run out of time-whichever comes first, and I don’t have the time or energy to fix or clean every single thing in my home, so I let it bother me, and eat away at me because inaction is still easier than action in almost every case.
I often need hard deadlines or folks to help me as a body double to get started, and help define the parameters of the beginning and end of a task I can’t seem to get started on.
I will also say that my ability to self-start became even more dramatically impaired after a loved one, that was very close to me, lost their battle with terminal depression back in Jan 2021. I can’t believe it’s already coming up on 3 years already, and I’m still struggling to get back to where I was four years ago-which was also a pre-COVID world. I know others are dealing with that, but it’s worse when you’ve experienced a loss to suicide on top of it, and the reason I even bring it up is because we suspect that most of his issues were because of untreated ADHD that resulted in and compounded that loop of self-sabotage and depression, and when you combine that with his stubborn nature and attitude towards asking for help-well, it’s a lethal combination.
If anyone reading this head Justin say anything that sounded like something they’ve experienced or described their own behavior, don’t do drugs if you haven’t started, or get off them if you have and see a mental healthcare professional to help diagnose the root cause of your problem.
When I was 23 I was being treated for depression with some heavy meds that could’ve killed me, because taking depression meds can have that opposite effect in some people-and it turns out my issues were ADHD and sleep apnea, which resulted in the symptoms that felt and appeared to be depression, and once I got those sorted out it was like I was a new person, and I don’t know if I would even be here today if not for that. So, tell someone and help them help you make that call to get the appointment scheduled and go talk to someone and get treated or at least rule it out as a diagnosis and figure out something else out that will work for you.
Might be a good idea to ask youself are they actually symptoms of an undisciplined life. Poor diet, sleep issues, too much physical drain like over sexed or drugs and alcohol will scatter your brain in bizarre ways. Obviously poor thought processes are the first symptom to arise when you trash your body.
Everyone could be diagnosed with some level of ocd and adhd
@@xwhite2020the amount of people with undiagnosed mental health issues who end up self medicating is ridiculously high
Same here! Practically text-book ADHD with some typical comorbidities. She is very well informed and some advice like "acceptance", meditation is really spot on.
Couple of minutes in, I thought, please get a diagnosis because some medication can help.
Especially as with age the hyperfocus tends to get harder to get into and is more likely to be less "flow" like and shorter.
I found alcohol & drugs made uncomfortable situations comfortable for the first few years. Then it flipped on me my level of comfort was making everyone who knew me or cared for me extremely uncomfortable. Been clean & sober for 13 years 1 month 12 days.
Thanks for the honesty and reflection, on this and many other subjects. A few years ago I chopped my breakfast on a mirror for two years, combined with too much drink and the weed. Dangerous. I became someone else, or... not someone else -- rather my Mr. Hyde side got to dominate. and after I had done some pretty low-life inexcusable shit on one particular day, I realised that and quit being "on" all the time.
I still struggle with mental health, depression and other things, and thus have periodic minor relapses. Because yeah - not taking drugs is easy, but living like that - especially if your life and people around you are challenging and exhausting - is exceptionally hard.
Jenny is a very smart girl.
I love these videos so much. I'm quite early into my journey with sobriety, trying to show my Dad you can still have fun while being healthy (he had quite a big health scare recently).
I understand the escapism part, that's what I've always searched for. Now I'm trying to be present and enjoy everyday as much as I can.
Can't wait to see you guys in Sunny Scotland 😊❤ I'll be bobbing about down the front as usual!
Great interview. I admire your honesty and really hope you continue to be well and drug/alcohol free. You really don't need them, you're great as you are xx
I love the candid nature of this conversation. Their relationship allows a natural flow and makes you feel in the room with them.
Fascinating stuff.
Jenny May is a wonderful gift to this podcast, i love her probing questions whilst being polite. Thanks you for being honest Justin, as someone who is in recovery it all starts well and sends you to the pit of hell.
Anyone with two brain cells to rub together can see how much work Jenny does on this channel. I think Justin is extremely lucky to have her and her skill set.
@@barrymitchell6444Clearly idioms are beyond you.
Justin: Really good breakdown of the different stages of the effects of drugs and how they change over time. Thanks for honest discussion. Good job Jenny.
I just tell people I'm "in abstinence" and the ones that know get it and the ones that don't get it I don't bother explaining. It's my struggle and I agree that it's personal and I don't need to explain myself to anyone. Thanks for the music and thanks keeping on making the music Justin.
I perform requests from a 430 song list at a rehab/detox and it is amazing the effect live music has, and Brandi Carlile's That Wasn't Me is the one that reliably makes "tough" men cry. As an aside, I Believe in a Thing Called Love is on my list, falsetto and all.
I've said it before, there's a Brandi Carlile shaped hole in Justin's series of reaction videos, he should definitely look at that song. 😂
Rock on!
Thank you Justin for being so open.
I am a recovered drug addict and alcoholic, 4 years clean. I have come across many AOD councillors and therapists over that journey, only a fraction of whom have the eloquence, no bullshit honest approach that Jenny shows in this interview, she is remarkable. she seems to have the ability to allow open and honest dialogue without judgement, and the seemingly practiced skill of prompting Justin to have his own revelations whilst guiding the conversation to an every deeper and more insightful and meaningful exploration of the arc of addiction. I commend her, I think councillors, addicts and people interested in drug use should watch this, absolutely extraordinary. and thank you Justin, what you did here is brave and impactful, for me anyway. kudos to you both.
Saw you beforming in Estonia at a car show and i had tottaly forget about you and your band and then u sang "love is only a feeling". It was a perfect summer day and i just went into a hypnosis listening to u. It still is one of the best beformances i heard and it left a mark in me for some reason. I wish u the best in life,love and career wise. Stay sober,stay clean,stay awsome
Amazing observations justin. Im just on my last few ml of methadone, after relying on drugs to push me through a career i was ill suited for. Sometimes you need a person outside your immediate circle to spot patterns and drive change; i had basically put myself in a prison of my own construction. Glad you are doing so much better and props to your co host.
You got this! I jumped off at 2ml in February
@@emm8357I'm on 65 now what's the journey like ?
ive been going down 5mls every few months, what I've noticed is there's fuck all sapport for people with no money
fully agree.@@redskyatnight123
When you’re not busy you come face to face with yourself. It’s uncomfortable to sit with yourself when you don’t like you. That’s what I go through anyway.
That's a superb insight and an excellent reason for you to like you.
Thank you Justin for open your soul with us. You help people and the people and your fans help to you. I wish all the best for you and The Darkness all of you are very important for me and lots of people!!! I love you so much!!!
Age 70, not a musician but had a spell working for ad agencies with Thin Lizzy, Yes, Boomtown R and others, Art college started my road on weed and alcohol and finally ditched the dope and then six years later alcohol. Now ride motorcycles to free my mind and enjoy music. Your vids are so cool and keep putting new bands on my watch list, thanks.
"Givin' Up" is my favorite Darkness track. I love how it's a completely non-sugarcoated take on heroin addiction, but made relatable to anyone regardless what they're addicted to, in the form of a catchy, hard, driving Rock tune.
When you sang "Well, I've ruined nearly all of my veins, stickin' that fuckin' shit into my arms." and "But I've found myself and easy way out...", in the register you chose to sing that in; and the melody. Divine. *chef kiss* Simple, honest writing that has a profound impact after it's been filtered through your process and delivered to us as music. Thank you, Justin!
P.S. That song has the sickest solos on that record.
Don't know anything about this bloke but from what he says here it sounds like his drug of choice was cocaine, not heroin
@nigel4776 Artists often write songs from the perspective of others. Maybe that was the case for Givin' Up. If you read the full lyrics in context, I think it's clear that song in particular is not about cocaine. I wasn't really making a point about Justin's personal poison of choice. Just having a spaz about a song I really love lol.
@@CodyGudmundsen Yep, you're right, I just read the lyric. Odd that a coke addict would write a song about a heroin addict
@nigel4776 Maybe Justin here had a close friend addicted to heroin that he was writing, no idea haha. Tons and tons of music out there where the perspective is not of the person who wrote it. Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam has written songs from a females perspective a time or two, I believe. No rules when you're writing! Artistic liberty is endless. Cheers, bro! Wishing all the best and a safe and happy holiday season to you and your fam.
You two are so funny together. Brilliant.
Self-medicating ADHD is very common.
So real. I had a friend who turned to coke and ended up in rehab. I have it adhd too. Getting off the stimulants and maintaining my productivity was really difficult. The best thing Ive been able to do for myself is coffee exercise and nootropics. I like gingko and lion’s mane mushrooms. You can get them in regular pill for too. Ask a doctor first if it’s right for you, but I’ve never heard of any side effects. I’ve been lacking in my own self care lately, and the only thing that can hold my attention is playing guitar!! 😬
@@Wakkawakkawakkawah
I have ADHD but only found out about a year ago at 52yrs old. In the 90s (my 20s) every weekend I was going to dance music events and doing the standard drugs. So self medicating by accident and I loved it, a lot. So literally 10 years of getting on it every single weekend.
Then life became more serious and I grew up and that life took a back seat and I was just doing normal weekend activities (not drugs and not dance music) and it was all a bit shit but I think I knew I couldn't keep doing drugs every weekend so I stayed off them.
But sounds like I need to look into nootropics, gingko and lions mane mushrooms now. I haven't done any drugs for about 20 yrs but I think I need something.
@@Br00stamy friend, lots of decent coffee helps
Thanks for sharing your bits about this, most people hide this from the public aspect and for good reason. Please know that I and so many others thank you for sharing this side of your story here today. Your positive energies, enthusiasm for and about life is in my opinion responsible for the comments here lifting some up to share their story one bit at a time.
An excellent byproduct to witness as a result of y'all doing this and making the time for sharing. I fucking love ya man, cheers from Northern BC Canada
I’m from a seaside town, I’ve been clean & sober for 10 years but I took party drugs & drank merely because I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it until I stopped enjoying it & now I enjoy living by the sea, drink & drug free.
Good day mate! That's a though topic. I always tried to figure out how was your experience after one way ticket. It seems you read my mind..... and.... -29 days to Milaaaaan! Agaaaaaiiiiin!❤
Justin, may I just say that I think that, during the time of JHRA and The Podcast, while there have been times where there was laughter, since these introspective exploratory discussions in The Podcast there seems to be a different kind of joy in your expression? Meaning that someting in your face and your smile is more something than it was...it's visibly authentic and really wonderful.
Its good you've gone here a few times. Totally get that after a while you're done acknowledging/associating with it and you just kinda want to move on. The stories never change but the shame can get worse if anything.
You've done quite a bit to get the message out there. I'm just over 12months sober and your relatable chats on this topic has helped.
All the best to you and anyone else out there who's working on themselves for the better.
Thanks for speaking about this. As a musician myself who luckily never got into drugs etc, I've been saying it loud that there is a problem and film industry. It seems that the industry itself thrives on this and is the norm. Peeple die and yet the industry goes on like nothing happens.
What would you expect the industry to do about it?
@@Talisman09 the industry itself is guilty of enabling and also being part of the drugs sold etc. Look up in the history of many starts who passed from Overdose who had drugs pushed in them for performance etc. Elvis etc. The industry is the one who need to step up and to stop this. They have the power to do so. But again money talks and many who are caught in the music and movie industry are just prostituted so you speak. It's just facts. I won't argue that many stars are addicted by fault but again the industry could help curb this by being a leader in making sure that artists are not allowed to be made rich and continue the lifestyle.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I've never been addicted to drugs, or alcohol. I can drink a beer, and not drink another one for months. Interesting to hear what it's like.
Loved your varied and deep musings/discussions. On the issue of doing nothing vs not seeing the point of doing nothing - I'm definitely on Team Justin here! As she said herself - the time passes anyway... So why not make it count?
Thank you so much for sharing Justin I do appreciate it mate
So interesting, when you said that drugs are the ‘backdrop’ but they don’t influence everything that happens. I think that’s a big difference for me. Drugs felt like they were the only thing that influenced what happened to me. They were the main event. But I also didn’t have a passion at that time. And I think that’s one reason why my drug use became so dangerous…other than my relationships with my family, there wasn’t really anything that was more important to me. And especially towards the end my family was even less important than my drug use. At least that’s what my behavior demonstrated…
Thanks so much for sharing. Its really cool to watch a rockstar do these videos and honestly the videos u make are truly entertaining. Im a huge GnR fan and im still glad they freaking alive today.❤😊
I am feeling my depression, a chronic one, is really closely related to this. I knew I was an addictive personality, so I avoided substances. I did some drinking, but never in a problematic way. But I can really relate to the need of chaos and how a very dark mood can feel addictive. The dive down feels exhilarating, when you have nothing else to feel that way for. People said I was ruining parties for being sober, then were disappointed, when I had started to drink. I think they could feel something wrong with me, which none of us could articulate. So the drug issue and my depression are both really coming to clearer view when it comes to social interactions. You kind of ignore the positive influences, and go more for the negative, because you feel more alive somehow. Until comes the burn out, or in case of substances, the place where it has become a real issue.
You’re both beautiful humans for being so real and open, I love listening to these highly educational chats and I’m so glad you’re still with us Justin. Sending=❤
Very proud of you, Justin! Great interview. I think most rock stars (besides a handful such as Frank Zappa) dabble in drugs and alcohol at some point, especially early on. One band that has never done drugs or drink is Sparks, who have been creating music since the late 60's, and of course Justin did an awesome version of their "This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us" and they appeared in his video.
true, but zappa was addicted to nicotine, which kills more people than any drug on the planet, followed by sugar
How Justin and Jenny May see eye to eye is amazing.
I SEE what you did there
The two, most exquisite people on you tube, talking about the ugliest substances, with the utmost respect.
Just watching this now. Live the darkness. They were such a breath of fresh air. I knew that they had prob gone off the rails at a certain point but never really knew why. This is such an honest retrospective of that time. Thank you for being so honest
Man, the talk around an hour in about the circle of nothing and being OK in that stasis is so interesting and key to me. It's something I ponder about others and when I find meaning in life from perpetual forward moment, having goals and ideas I want to create and bring to life.
Own it Justin! You don’t need to engage w the media. We want to hear straight from you!!! ❤❤❤❤❤
(@23:20) Little Pantera lyric there. A new level of confidence and power. I would love to hear you and Philip Anselmo talk about drug use. Have you seen the video of him speaking to Loyola University kids about his heroin use? He says a lot of similar things, but he also says it was a way to "slam the door" on people and life and vulnerability as well. He has a lot of intriguing thoughts on his friends who have passed, too, like Layne.
On the topic of smoking, I watched my Dad get Stage IV head and neck cancer twice from chewing tobacco. Spending time over the last 5 years in his hospital, seeing people who have had their face operated on, like my dad who had his jaw removed, or people with skin from their chest on their face, or people with their larynx removed really did it for me. My mom had a heart attack in her 50s which put her off smoking, but I just felt like that was just bad luck in a way. My grandma died of a stroke, and I didn't really attribute that to smoking. But, seeing all of those people at my dad's hospital fighting for their lives, and being put through the ringer did it. People don't want to hear it, though. I mean it in the best way possible, when I tell people this... I don't want your kids to go through what I have, or your parents from going through this, but people always get defensive and rude. Go spend some time at a cancer care hospital. I promise it will change you for the better.
Hi Justin! I have recently stopped smoking again after a little over a year (same as you) I found what worked for me was actively making the choice to not buy any more cigarettes or replace it with any other habits and just ride it out cold turkey.
I definitely still wanted them for a while but seven weeks onward, I currently am not missing it!
It's not an easy habit to break and it requires conscious effort but I'm sure you can do it and push onward should you decide to! Good support and keeping busy by picking up a guitar or another habit to keep your mind occupied and.hands busy definitely makes it easier. Good luck if you do!
Thank you for sharing so much, Justin.
Still a functioning alcoholic at 65 with all the short and long term breaks of course. But I need to numb my brain without hurting other people. Living the rest of my life sober sounds awful! I never got the same buzz from pot or pills and I knew myself well enough that if I ever did Heroin or something similar that would be the end of me, so I never tried them. Now how's that for self control? And I never will up and until I'm on my deathbed and request morphine for that beautiful buzz all the way into the afterlife. So glad you happy and well Justin, and thanks for all the great music and advice!
I don't believe that for one second, if your in the most excruciating pain ever you would gladly stop it, just like soldiers who are taken prisoner , they would gladly sell there grand to stop the pain of interrogation, the best sas soldier would give up there granny , I used to take drugs I came out with the bullshit I would never take heroin, my first love dumped me out of the blue, whilst feeling that way I was offered heroin, you know what I became a raging heroin addict!!!! Yet I said I would never do heroin, no one can say for certain what they will or won't do
Thank you for opening up and sharing your story. Wishing you years of health, sobriety, and music! Talking about addiction and mental health is so important.
Also, thanks for what you said about not misusing the phrase “OCD”; I’m a parent of a teenager diagnosed with OCD, and until we got the right combination of meds and therapy it was an absolute beast.
Very honest, very well said. I'm glad you're on a better path