My parents separated when I was 4 years old, and now I am getting all the Christmas decor from my mum. Most of it was stuff they acquired in their married life, some was even wedding gifts. I really appreciate having those things even if they aren't together anymore. They have more meaning than that to me. I could see your kids in the future loving to have some of those sentimental things from you.
Yes! And as Cici gets older she would probably love to go through all that stuff like the Martha Steward things and star cookie cutters, I would have thought it was a gold mine at like 8 years old, all these bins of Christmas stuff to go through and be creative with.
I wouldn't keep all the things. As someone whose family keeps all things that have sentimental value, I would like a curated box of the most important special things from family. Instead of a house full. I think keeping the mickey tree for CC and maybe like those crystal ornaments Don got Jen every year is something I would keep for my child to have someday but the snoopy or anything not VERY special - nah
@@morganpoff4237 agree! Keeping everything can be overwhelming for both of them. I imagine this stuff figuratively weights on Jen as she explained she was sorta avoiding going though all the holiday boxes. Having this declutting process is something she needs as she continues to redefine her life after marriage. Also for CC it may be enough to have the really important things like the tree that was a symbol of her parents then love and marriage- which she was born out of, and maybe the yearly holiday cards.
As a former women's shelter employee I can tell you this kind of stuff is in HIGH demand every year, can really bring a lot of holiday cheer to many families this year with a donation ❤
It is not wasteful at all to donate it, I completely agree with you! Think off the blessings you are passing along, someone is going to be so glad to find that at a thrift store!
I had to pause the video and comment. From personal experience, as memories fade, so will the attachment to items attached to that marriage and holidays spent in that marriage. It’s not been that long since you’ve been separated. This is normal process of grieving which can come in many forms and it comes in waves. Give yourself time and perhaps hold onto one item from snoopy collection and revisit it in a couple months or after Christmas and see how you feel then.
Was also going to say the same. She has a basement and space. Keep everything and wait another year. If you have to think about it, you are not ready. This year has been emotional for all of us. Wait until next Christmas. You are still moving in, Covid. Wait one year until you are more settled and things are generally more normal.
It doesn't have to be important to anyone but you. If it doesn't bring you joy and make you smile, it's OK to part with it. It's never easy to go through these kinds of things.
I listened to your singing on Instagram last night, Jen. You really have a beautiful voice. I’ve been watching you for a decade and it’s so nice to see you come out of your shell in different ways.
It’s an honor to be part of your daily life during this season. Thank you for taking us on your journey with you. It’s not a trivial thing to have to pack up a dead dream, or a dead memory. You do it with grace and honesty. ❤️
Save them for Charlotte. I have so many memories of Christmas decor that I wish my mom saved for me. But she got rid of everything when my parents divorced. What I would give for them now.
Thats a lot of stuff to foist onto your daughters future. One or two memorable items, sure. But not all of it. Plus most of this stuff Charlotte hasn’t even seen, let alone created memories about.
Get rid of all of it. I finally decided to get rid of every single bit of my Christmas decorations and start new. I'm so happy I did. I don't miss any of them and neither do my kids. I got all blue and silver stuff to use for a couple years then I'm going to donate it all and get black and white. No sentiment involved and it makes my life a lot easier.
You made a comment about this being a “downer” and I just wanted to say how much I appreciate the range and depth of emotions and human experience you have been willing to share lately. You can find 100 vlogmas videos with perfectly curated backdrops, expertly choreographed family activities with airbrushed smiles and matching jammies. It’s all very lovely but it sure isn’t the whole story. Right now...we need shared experience, empathy, and growth. What you do highlights all of this and more. Thank you and I hope you have a truly wonderful holiday season, whatever it may bring.
I believe objects collect energy and emotion so it makes it difficult to get rid of some things. You could always get a new snoopy collectible that reminds you of your fresh new start. 🎄
I have been following you for years and it is wild to see you come full circle with these items and memories. You have made so many emotional changes. Thank you for sharing. I know there are so many people who are going through the same experiences and can relate. A new world awaits
Why not give the tree to CC to put in her room? I would think that she would love it. She is a good thing to come from your marriage and maybe you can transfer your feelings of somewhat sadness when looking at it, to happiness that your daughter is enjoying it? I think that, down the road, if she sees the tree and that you got rid of it, she could be upset about it.
Wow Jen you have come a long way. I am super happy for you! Would you mind sharing with us how you declutter the rest of the stuff you have in your old house? I love watching people declutter and reorganize. Can be a series in January since everyone is organizing and starting fresh. Much Love ❤️ from Utah
I totally get what you are talking about. I call it negative emotional clutter. I have talked about it several times on my channel. Anything that brings back something hurtful, depressing, negative, or just doesn't make me happy anymore, I let it go. It was SO HARD in the beginning. But, when those things walk out of my house and get a new home, it is so freeing. It brings me joy to know that they will get a home where people will love them.
Just because others have it worse, doesn't mean it's not hard for you. Don't apologize. It's not silly. I think sorting through your holiday things is just part of the process. Part of your growth. ❤ Wishing a beautiful & peaceful holiday for you and yours, Jen! ❤
I totally understand. Sometimes it's best to give away so your heart can heal. And even though your feeling great, it's just a reminder and holidays are tough sometimes and filled with new and past emotions. And things are attached to that time frame.
I think you can pass some things on to your children. My mom passed many things down to me from when my parents were still together and I appreciate that.
I have to pause because I wish I could talk back to you. Lol. Get rid of the Snoopy. I completely understand what you’re saying. While you love it and it’s adorable-it’s time to create new memories with new things. Okay....back to vlog.
I don't know. The "juvenile" things or the child-like things, or even the most sentimental, I might tuck away in a box again. Remaining out of sight and mind for you. The kids have been heavily introduced to Disney and all of those similar things. It would be nice for them to have a chance to have those things one day. Especially because it came from a different time for their parents. Whenever that is, you'd have more distance from these "things" but it could bring joy to the kids. I come from divorced parents when I was only 7. But I know that they were once very much in love. She passed away when I was 25 and I have absolutely nothing from the time that my parents were together and I feel like I'd love a part of their happy history, not just the one I grew up knowing. I know that if I saw videos like these of my mom purging, I'd want my hands on some of these things that once meant so much - like it's a piece of her/their history given to me. Just a different perspective before it's too late.
I wholeheartedly agree. So much. I get it. Hide things away for finds for the kids. God forbid, anything happens to you or your ex or whatever, these will be great treasures for CC or Donnie. Once you let them go, they can never come back. If you have the ability to keep them out of sight and mind for you, do so. They will never have memories of the two of you as a couple, but in their hearts "things" might tell them a story. What brings you pain now might help them or bring them joy one day. Tuck it away for yourself...but think 6 times before you toss things that might benefit the kids one day. All the best!
You are so strong Jen and I love your perspective I’m talking through things.... no matter what stage in life you are in- everyone has so many of the same feelings and thoughts you have! Love your videos so much
I applaud your transparency it is extremely relatable. I have never went through a divorce but I see and understand what you mean with the grief of your past life, memories, and relationships. Grief isn't always sad but its a sense of loss, that perhaps holidays will not look the same, maybe even for the better but it is still a sense of lose that comes with change no matter how good it is. Connecting memories with tangible things is also something I do with songs. I connect songs to certain points in my life and they envoke feelings. I enjoy you so much more Jen this feels like the person you were meant to be, easy on yourself, a free spirit and unapologetically YOU! Happy holidays.
I think you’ve really done “the work”. It is totally understandable and “cleansing” to rid yourself from your “past life”. When you were first married, you were all about “homemaking” for your family of 2. It was just the 2 of you for a long time. A lot of these things that bring memories are part of that time in your life and that time is over. I think you’ve got the right idea to put some things aside and sleep on it. And you will make new memories for the kids now and savor those memories. No worries. I got a lot out of your discussion. I think you are very emotionally intelligent! Thanks for sharing!!!
This is my first holiday season divorced too. I'm getting rid of my department 56 village set. So many hard memories attached to those houses my ex gave me each year. I totally get it and validate those feelings you're having.
Totally normal to feel how you feel! I was widowed 8 years ago and going through stuff is extremely emotional. Especially putting up ornaments. I got rid of some, kept some and bought some new ones. I go through the emotions every year. I'm starting my own traditions now. You will find your way, you already are! Nothing you get rid of cant' be replaced. It's just stuff. Even the most sentimental items at the end of the day are just stuff.
Jen, my new favorite word is "pause" Is this decision essential to make now? I say put the questionable items away and rethink them next year and if not then the year after. Happy Holidays Jen!
The older i get the more i realize its just "stuff" - made in some factory far far away....your memories are still there if you have the object or not...do what makes you feel happy. I've been super purging for years now and for me i haven't felt like i've lost anything but i can relate to the other side of the coin also. thanks Jen for keeping it real.
I would keep the sentimental, collectable things for your children until they are old enough to determine if they want it or not. You may want to consider that your own current personal detachment/feelings towards the items may not be how your children feel about the items/things. They have their own and will have their own perspective on their early life when their parents were together.
Here are some thoughts on the Snoopy stuff: you said you've loved Snoopy since you were a small child. While you acquired those items during a chapter of your life that's now closed, your love of Snoopy existed before that chapter and will likely continue. Consider storing those items for a bit (maybe a few more Christmases) to see if some time can turn them from a memory of your "past life" to something that feels like *you*. Once you have a few Christmases worth of memories in the new house, it might feel right to again begin displaying those items that you've long loved.
I 100% understand your heaviness on the things your keeping or not keeping. When I went through my Divorce I could not bring things in my house. Cuz it was my passed! I am so proud of you!! Keep being you.. love seeing you every day!!
BTW, it's not trivial. My mom died in Feb 2019 and I had to go through her whole house and get rid of stuff. I'm 60 this Friday and realized last year that I came by my hoarding tendencies very honestly... Mom had things I never ever saw in my life, in my own 30+ years of living in that house... some things were so easy to just toss in the dumpster. Others are now in my attic, in my spare room, in the buffet in my living room, to be looked at, touched, decided upon at some point when I'm emotionally ready. Sometimes it's just not time to deal with something...
If I were you I would use the Mickey Tree/Snoopy Tree in the kids rooms. The kids came out of the love that those tree represented regardless of whether Mom and Dad are together. Plus its Mickey/Snoopy you know they will love it :)
I too had to pause the video to comment. I FEEL this. I feel you. It's hard. I remember feeling exactly what you seem to be expressing when I went though my divorce. I had no interest in being back in that marriage but the stuff brought back feelings...really hard to describe feelings. I think for me it was the fact that those things were like moments frozen in time and in those times I was happy exactly where I was. Things change, people change and, looking back, those happy times are the things that sting the heart the hardest. Maybe allow those tangible reminders to help guide you through processing the feelings you're having and then decide if they should stay or go. My heart is with you. I hope this year brings you nothing but happiness.
I definitely have memories attached to "things". This is the first year without my mother in law. Bringing out Christmas decorations and items she bought us was really hard for me. I can't imagine what you are going through. I remember the Mickey tree. I also remember a vlog way back when you were showing your Snoopy Christmas cookie jar and said it would be for your future children to have as an heirloom.
Your kids will love the things that they are used to seeing every year. Someone will definitely love the excess and will be happy to use. It’s great to clean out the excess:
I love that you call your piano room the “ballroom” because it has no furniture and you dance in it! I love dancing at home and children love dancing! Great sense of humor and outlook.
I’ve been watching your videos for a long time. Especially your past vlogmas videos, and I am so proud of you and the evolution you’ve had. You seemed lost for a while there, and and this video watching you work through the process of letting go in a healthy mature way made me want to say go you 👍🏼
I used to be poor in my 20s, always looking forward to be able to buy me lovely things. Then in my 30s I did it and quite enjoyed it, I did the the decorating thing, the hosting thing, the crafting and gardening... in my 40s I realised I spent too much time organising, cleaning and caring for my stuff. Now I have only 1 seasonal decoration only in my living room! That's it! Sooooo good! Try it
It's therapy, going through your past that way. Personally it was very healing for me. Like you said, those things just don't fit in the new chapter. Love the vlogs! Happy Holidays ❤
Hi Jen! Could you share the Xmas book collection you have for the kids, I’m interested in starting a collection for my toddler and baby. Happy holidays!
I totally get how hard it is to go through things that have memories attached to them. My husband died six years ago and there are so many memories. I get started and I just can’t go on. So I get this!! You are doing good. Keep looking forward.
110% relate to the moving out of things. They can carry significant memories. My whole year has brought so much change and I’ve disconnected with quite a few things to move forward more fully in my new life. You are growing. It’s a beautiful thing.
Just because there is awful things going on in the world doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do all the things you do. It’s those things that make us feel sane. One day you won’t care so much about people coming for you in the comments. You are a very good person Jen. Great mother, great daughter and huge giver.
When my sister and I were going through my mom's things, we went through the same emotions. We decided that anything we cried over we would keep. Anything else had to go. Give yourself some time and you will know what to do. It's a journey. Big hugs
It's not just you. I actually have several of the Lenox Snoopy ornaments. My mom bought me one per year for 5 years. When I pulled them out from storage this year I started crying. I didn't even realize they meant that much to me but seeing them reminded me that I'll be completely alone this holiday season.
Jen, I totally can sympathize with you over sentimental stuff over the holidays. I do have one question, would you not want to keep it for CC or Don Jr when they are older? While is no longer a part of your present it is still their history, while they might not have been around yet, it’s still their history as well. I cherish a Santa my mom gave me when I moved out that my dad had given her a decade before they had split.
You honestly do not need any make up to be beautiful. Also, may I say that it is absolutely refreshing to see you letting go of the old an opening yourself up for the new.
Jen, when I first saw your house tour with those Lenox Snoopy collectables I fell in love with them. It took me a while, but I finally found all the pieces (the candy dish was very hard to find). I remember you talking about them as you showed them, saying how much you adored them and that these were things you would love to pass down to any children you might have. I would hate to see you regret getting rid of those pieces. I have had similar feelings with items from a past relationship that I wasn't sure about when I eventually got married and moved all of my stuff. I packed some away that I was hesitant about, but after a couple years I was able to take them out and enjoy them. My advice is to keep them. Pack them away and see how you feel about them after more time has passed. I know you're trying to declutter, but you really did love those ornaments, and even though they were part of your married life, they really were mainly part of YOU. I'm sure your children would adore having those as they have families of their own in the future. I would wait before parting with them. Just my 2 cents. :)
Your hesitation and apprehension of selling your snoopy collectibles is so SO understandable! You spent a lot of years and made a lot of memories with Don. You are normal Jen...this is all normal and it is all very understandable to a reasonable person. I am constantly praying for you as you navigate your new life and you are doing such a great job. I have been a friend of yours since the beginning and to be honest I have grieved the loss of your relationship but I am happy you are doing so well and just know you are allowed to feel all the feelings and it is all ok. Love you. 💕
I would keep the Lenox Snoopy Tree. You can always give it away, but you can’t necessarily always get it back. You seem hesitant about it. It’s ok to have a couple of items that bring back memories, as long as it doesn’t jeopardize your present-day happiness. This video is cathartic!
You did really well Jen! You have worked through such a huge transition. Everything you said makes sense to me! I also have several of those Martha Stewart treat containers- they are so cute but I think this year might be the year I acknowledge that I’m just not going to use them and set them free! You will feel so good when you bring out your decor next year and it is all things you love! 💕
Hey Jen, while our situations are different, I totally get the bittersweet sentimental attachment to holiday decorations. Holidays are especially tied up in our desire to create a warm loving family and memories, almost akin to the warmth of Thomas Kinkade painting, and I think that's why they are tougher. For over a decade, as I was dreaming of a family, I collected holiday decor thinking what a magical season I could create for my longed for babies. I wasn't able to have those babies, and that's the biggest heartbreak, and so while I still love those decorations, I can't really bring myself to use many of them, almost like I am not worthy of them, since I don't have the family they were purchased for. Anyway, not saying you feel the same, just that these items in particular become enmeshed in our dreams. That said, I think if you can use your items and they still bring you joy, maybe even after another couple of years have passed, you should. Or, another thought, is to save the most special or charming for your kids. They won't have the same bittersweet memories and instead may just love them as keepsakes you gave them. Just a thought anyway. I think what I most want to say is that you don't have to be In a rush to decide when you aren't sure. You could give it a couple of years and see.
Thank you for being so raw and sharing this vulnerable part of your life with us! Lots of us have watched you since the beginning, and care about you and your family so much! ♥️
I don’t know if your kids like play dough - but the cookie cutters are perfect for that! The former early childhood teacher in me is drooling at all possibilities you could make and do with all that with the kids! 🎄💖🤍 I don’t know where you’re planning to donate that, but a daycare/preschool would LOVE that! Edit: the stuff in the first box 🤍
We just put up and decorated a tree for the first time since 2005. We lost our son in 2006, and I just didn’t have the heart to put up the tree. When you’re ready, you’re ready. And the painful things might take years to neutralize. Pack up, sell or give away the items that cause you pain or angst. Do it for you and no one else.
Jen, I completely hear what you are saying. I too am recently divorced and so many "things" trigger my emotions. I connect with the "things" too and we have a heart and it hurts sometimes. Keep the things that make you happy or the kids. I got a new tree this year with new ornament to celebrate a new beginning for the kids and I. I love how you express and relate your emotions to us! Thank you!! Your helping me at least.
I love seeing you so healthily and happily reflect on the memories and sentiments from the past brought to you by the items. I truly admire your approach to your new life and goals. Divorce is never the plan when you decide to marry someone, but I am so encouraged by how you (and Don seemingly) are navigating this life transition with each other and the kids. As a "child" of a divorce that was messy and heartbreaking, I see and applaud the healthy way you are navigating the holidays and the changes that are coming with it this year. Your babies are so blessed and will always know and feel your love!!! You, Charlotte, and Donny can start your own tradition/version of a "Mickey Tree" that you can attach new sentiments to as a mommy. :) Love you!
I remember many years ago in a holiday house tour your comment about the snoopy decor was that you hopes to pass it to your kids one day. I think its okay to tuck them into storage for another couple years and see how your emotions evolve. Id hate to see you get rid of something in a pretty emotional state and then regret it later. Thats just my two cents!
100 percent agree that hanging onto items you won't use is more wastful than donating. Someone will be excited to find those items. Decluttering is good for the soul.
@@Joy-zf6cs didn’t know you were the comment police. She asked a question. Jen mentioned that she has stuff at the old house. I think everyone that is still here is here because we love and support Jen. So thanks for the snippy comment.
I am in the same place as far as buying goes. I decluttered stuff I never used in preparation for a move. It made me really think twice before I buy new stuff. I think it’s just part of growing. Also, if an item doesn’t bring you joy sell it or donate it. You have worked hard to move on. You don’t need something bringing you back to a place you chose to move on from. ❤️
Even though you like them I get the feeling they don't bring you joy when you see or hold them. They're still beautiful, and they're from another time that came with many gifts but I sense they aren't 'relevant' in your new, fresh and joyful home. Best of luck. I attach so much sentiment on holiday items too, so it must be so hard. I hope you find peace with what you choose to keep and let go.
My thinking is that if it doesn’t make you feel good then get rid of it and move on from it, sell it and buy something new to replace it that you can fully enjoy and that makes you feel good. It doesn’t look like the Snoopy things make you feel good anymore. I love that you addressed your reasons behind letting objects go but I had already worked out that this was what you were doing and have been doing for quite a while. It makes complete sense to me. Memories are strong things but the most important thing is making new ones with your kids.
Hi Jen, I never comment but watch every single one of your videos over the years. You might not see this but I wanted to let you know that seeing you go through this phase in your life...I’m really proud of you. The emotions you’re having are really valid and you have taught me to work through my own feelings in my life about things I’ve held sentimental value to, including positive and negative memories that are taking up space in my brain. I just don’t have room to store those negative memories anymore and I feel motivated to work through not letting them take up mental space in my life anymore. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, thank you for sharing your life. Stay genuine to yourself. Post what you want to post and what feels good in your heart. I’m a supporter who will be here regardless and I appreciate the realness of what you’re going through instead of putting up a facade. On an unrelated note, I am getting a Peloton Bike+ this week. I would be interested in a review from you on some of your favorite classes and accessories, etc. if you need a video idea. Thank you!
Oh I’m so glad you uploaded! I was in the midsts of a panic attack and this instantly distracted me and got me all cozy again. Thank you Jen for always being a light in this world
Ohh I just saw the part of you talking about the snoopy item. One time my therapist told me to make new memories and traditions with items I kind of like but hold old feelings. So I did and if it still didn’t feel right then out it goes
I TOTALLY understand your feelings about your Mickey tree and your Snoopy collectibles - holiday items ESPECIALLY touch my heart, sometimes in a lovely way, and sometimes it hurts. ❤️
Nothing is a waste....you bought it and it helped keep society running.......and now you are blessing another who can purchase it cheaper at some charity places or get it for free. The other day we mailed some packages at the post office and at UPS and while boxes going to family members across the country were up to 39.00 to send....I am happy to support the shipping services, it helps keep the country and world running and people employed. etc. That is how I look at things! Great job going thru' things Jenn. Happy Holidays !!
As someone who went through a divorce a couple years ago, I really appreciate you sharing all of this. For myself, I felt internally okay long before I was able to articulate my thoughts or even describe what had happened. I'm not sure if it's just a lack of language or because divorce is so deeply personal. Or maybe because it intersects with so many inner sore spots? I still struggle to discuss it because I want to honor my ex's privacy and be compassionate to my past self and her dreams. I call these moments of heaviness my chrysalis pains, and as they fade I find I'm surprised by the strong, whimsical spirit within. From what you've graciously shared with your viewers, your growth in all this has been lovely to see. Your honesty is refreshing, and whatever content you want to make, well, we're all cheering you on!
My parents separated when I was 4 years old, and now I am getting all the Christmas decor from my mum. Most of it was stuff they acquired in their married life, some was even wedding gifts. I really appreciate having those things even if they aren't together anymore. They have more meaning than that to me. I could see your kids in the future loving to have some of those sentimental things from you.
Yes! And as Cici gets older she would probably love to go through all that stuff like the Martha Steward things and star cookie cutters, I would have thought it was a gold mine at like 8 years old, all these bins of Christmas stuff to go through and be creative with.
I wouldn't keep all the things. As someone whose family keeps all things that have sentimental value, I would like a curated box of the most important special things from family. Instead of a house full. I think keeping the mickey tree for CC and maybe like those crystal ornaments Don got Jen every year is something I would keep for my child to have someday but the snoopy or anything not VERY special - nah
@@morganpoff4237 agree! Keeping everything can be overwhelming for both of them. I imagine this stuff figuratively weights on Jen as she explained she was sorta avoiding going though all the holiday boxes. Having this declutting process is something she needs as she continues to redefine her life after marriage. Also for CC it may be enough to have the really important things like the tree that was a symbol of her parents then love and marriage- which she was born out of, and maybe the yearly holiday cards.
As a former women's shelter employee I can tell you this kind of stuff is in HIGH demand every year, can really bring a lot of holiday cheer to many families this year with a donation ❤
It is not wasteful at all to donate it, I completely agree with you! Think off the blessings you are passing along, someone is going to be so glad to find that at a thrift store!
I had to pause the video and comment. From personal experience, as memories fade, so will the attachment to items attached to that marriage and holidays spent in that marriage. It’s not been that long since you’ve been separated. This is normal process of grieving which can come in many forms and it comes in waves. Give yourself time and perhaps hold onto one item from snoopy collection and revisit it in a couple months or after Christmas and see how you feel then.
Well said... ❤️
Was also going to say the same. She has a basement and space. Keep everything and wait another year. If you have to think about it, you are not ready. This year has been emotional for all of us. Wait until next Christmas. You are still moving in, Covid. Wait one year until you are more settled and things are generally more normal.
I was thinking the same. Put Snoopy back in the box and revisit in a year or so.
Very well said.
It doesn't have to be important to anyone but you. If it doesn't bring you joy and make you smile, it's OK to part with it. It's never easy to go through these kinds of things.
Makes total sense to have emotional attachments to “things” especially during the holidays. I think the kids would love the snoopy tree!!
I listened to your singing on Instagram last night, Jen. You really have a beautiful voice. I’ve been watching you for a decade and it’s so nice to see you come out of your shell in different ways.
We appreciate your honesty and completely understand it. How about putting sentimental items away for the kiddos to enjoy as adults?
Are you will to sell.any cookie related items? I will buy them from you
It’s an honor to be part of your daily life during this season. Thank you for taking us on your journey with you. It’s not a trivial thing to have to pack up a dead dream, or a dead memory. You do it with grace and honesty. ❤️
Save them for Charlotte. I have so many memories of Christmas decor that I wish my mom saved for me. But she got rid of everything when my parents divorced. What I would give for them now.
I agree!
Thats a lot of stuff to foist onto your daughters future. One or two memorable items, sure. But not all of it. Plus most of this stuff Charlotte hasn’t even seen, let alone created memories about.
Get rid of all of it. I finally decided to get rid of every single bit of my Christmas decorations and start new. I'm so happy I did. I don't miss any of them and neither do my kids. I got all blue and silver stuff to use for a couple years then I'm going to donate it all and get black and white. No sentiment involved and it makes my life a lot easier.
You made a comment about this being a “downer” and I just wanted to say how much I appreciate the range and depth of emotions and human experience you have been willing to share lately. You can find 100 vlogmas videos with perfectly curated backdrops, expertly choreographed family activities with airbrushed smiles and matching jammies. It’s all very lovely but it sure isn’t the whole story. Right now...we need shared experience, empathy, and growth. What you do highlights all of this and more. Thank you and I hope you have a truly wonderful holiday season, whatever it may bring.
You are making my day brighter every day I watch your Vlogmas... thank you ..
I believe objects collect energy and emotion so it makes it difficult to get rid of some things. You could always get a new snoopy collectible that reminds you of your fresh new start. 🎄
Jen - random question... you used to save a roll of your favourite wrapping paper every year. Do you still do that? They would be fun to see!
I attach memories to things. I had to get rid of some things from some people that is no longer in my life because of the feelings attached to them.
You are comfortable sharing your raw side with the world,that itself means huge progress.Cheers. Keep up the spirit.
I have been following you for years and it is wild to see you come full circle with these items and memories. You have made so many emotional changes. Thank you for sharing. I know there are so many people who are going through the same experiences and can relate. A new world awaits
Why not give the tree to CC to put in her room? I would think that she would love it. She is a good thing to come from your marriage and maybe you can transfer your feelings of somewhat sadness when looking at it, to happiness that your daughter is enjoying it? I think that, down the road, if she sees the tree and that you got rid of it, she could be upset about it.
The kids might like some of the stuff. Its part of the journey. Kinda like a wedding album.
Just stick in the garage and label dont look at till 2025.
WOW You've come so far. Very very proud of you. Here's to new beginnings
Wow Jen you have come a long way. I am super happy for you! Would you mind sharing with us how you declutter the rest of the stuff you have in your old house? I love watching people declutter and reorganize. Can be a series in January since everyone is organizing and starting fresh. Much Love ❤️ from Utah
I totally get what you are talking about. I call it negative emotional clutter. I have talked about it several times on my channel. Anything that brings back something hurtful, depressing, negative, or just doesn't make me happy anymore, I let it go. It was SO HARD in the beginning. But, when those things walk out of my house and get a new home, it is so freeing. It brings me joy to know that they will get a home where people will love them.
Thank you for your honesty, I too struggle to part with things that have memories attached - even if I want to let them go x
Just because others have it worse, doesn't mean it's not hard for you. Don't apologize. It's not silly.
I think sorting through your holiday things is just part of the process. Part of your growth.
❤ Wishing a beautiful & peaceful holiday for you and yours, Jen! ❤
You’re cleansing your Christmas stuff and I’m beginning my hoarding phase of it lol. I want to deck my house out. I love watching your relaxing vlogs.
I totally understand. Sometimes it's best to give away so your heart can heal. And even though your feeling great, it's just a reminder and holidays are tough sometimes and filled with new and past emotions. And things are attached to that time frame.
I think you can pass some things on to your children. My mom passed many things down to me from when my parents were still together and I appreciate that.
This is true for me too!
I have to pause because I wish I could talk back to you. Lol. Get rid of the Snoopy. I completely understand what you’re saying. While you love it and it’s adorable-it’s time to create new memories with new things. Okay....back to vlog.
I always loved that gingerbread spoon rest!
I don't know. The "juvenile" things or the child-like things, or even the most sentimental, I might tuck away in a box again. Remaining out of sight and mind for you. The kids have been heavily introduced to Disney and all of those similar things. It would be nice for them to have a chance to have those things one day. Especially because it came from a different time for their parents. Whenever that is, you'd have more distance from these "things" but it could bring joy to the kids.
I come from divorced parents when I was only 7. But I know that they were once very much in love. She passed away when I was 25 and I have absolutely nothing from the time that my parents were together and I feel like I'd love a part of their happy history, not just the one I grew up knowing. I know that if I saw videos like these of my mom purging, I'd want my hands on some of these things that once meant so much - like it's a piece of her/their history given to me.
Just a different perspective before it's too late.
I wholeheartedly agree. So much. I get it. Hide things away for finds for the kids. God forbid, anything happens to you or your ex or whatever, these will be great treasures for CC or Donnie. Once you let them go, they can never come back. If you have the ability to keep them out of sight and mind for you, do so. They will never have memories of the two of you as a couple, but in their hearts "things" might tell them a story. What brings you pain now might help them or bring them joy one day. Tuck it away for yourself...but think 6 times before you toss things that might benefit the kids one day. All the best!
This! YES! ALL THE YES.
Really great advice.
You are so strong Jen and I love your perspective I’m talking through things.... no matter what stage in life you are in- everyone has so many of the same feelings and thoughts you have! Love your videos so much
I applaud your transparency it is extremely relatable. I have never went through a divorce but I see and understand what you mean with the grief of your past life, memories, and relationships. Grief isn't always sad but its a sense of loss, that perhaps holidays will not look the same, maybe even for the better but it is still a sense of lose that comes with change no matter how good it is. Connecting memories with tangible things is also something I do with songs. I connect songs to certain points in my life and they envoke feelings. I enjoy you so much more Jen this feels like the person you were meant to be, easy on yourself, a free spirit and unapologetically YOU! Happy holidays.
I soooo get what you're talking about about things that you just can't have anymore or revisit because its just not part of the present.
I think you’ve really done “the work”. It is totally understandable and “cleansing” to rid yourself from your “past life”. When you were first married, you were all about “homemaking” for your family of 2. It was just the 2 of you for a long time. A lot of these things that bring memories are part of that time in your life and that time is over. I think you’ve got the right idea to put some things aside and sleep on it. And you will make new memories for the kids now and savor those memories. No worries. I got a lot out of your discussion. I think you are very emotionally intelligent! Thanks for sharing!!!
This is my first holiday season divorced too. I'm getting rid of my department 56 village set. So many hard memories attached to those houses my ex gave me each year. I totally get it and validate those feelings you're having.
Totally normal to feel how you feel! I was widowed 8 years ago and going through stuff is extremely emotional. Especially putting up ornaments. I got rid of some, kept some and bought some new ones. I go through the emotions every year. I'm starting my own traditions now. You will find your way, you already are! Nothing you get rid of cant' be replaced. It's just stuff. Even the most sentimental items at the end of the day are just stuff.
Jen, my new favorite word is "pause" Is this decision essential to make now? I say put the questionable items away and rethink them next year and if not then the year after. Happy Holidays Jen!
The older i get the more i realize its just "stuff" - made in some factory far far away....your memories are still there if you have the object or not...do what makes you feel happy. I've been super purging for years now and for me i haven't felt like i've lost anything but i can relate to the other side of the coin also. thanks Jen for keeping it real.
Jen, you will party and celebrate again! So much of what you are unboxing is the you that me and my girls started watching you for!!
I would keep the sentimental, collectable things for your children until they are old enough to determine if they want it or not. You may want to consider that your own current personal detachment/feelings towards the items may not be how your children feel about the items/things. They have their own and will have their own perspective on their early life when their parents were together.
Here are some thoughts on the Snoopy stuff: you said you've loved Snoopy since you were a small child. While you acquired those items during a chapter of your life that's now closed, your love of Snoopy existed before that chapter and will likely continue. Consider storing those items for a bit (maybe a few more Christmases) to see if some time can turn them from a memory of your "past life" to something that feels like *you*. Once you have a few Christmases worth of memories in the new house, it might feel right to again begin displaying those items that you've long loved.
Everything you were processing in regards to keeping items or letting them go made a lot of sense! Thank you for sharing :)
I 100% understand your heaviness on the things your keeping or not keeping.
When I went through my Divorce I could not bring things in my house. Cuz it was my passed! I am so proud of you!! Keep being you.. love seeing you every day!!
BTW, it's not trivial. My mom died in Feb 2019 and I had to go through her whole house and get rid of stuff.
I'm 60 this Friday and realized last year that I came by my hoarding tendencies very honestly... Mom had things I never ever saw in my life, in my own 30+ years of living in that house... some things were so easy to just toss in the dumpster. Others are now in my attic, in my spare room, in the buffet in my living room, to be looked at, touched, decided upon at some point when I'm emotionally ready. Sometimes it's just not time to deal with something...
If I were you I would use the Mickey Tree/Snoopy Tree in the kids rooms. The kids came out of the love that those tree represented regardless of whether Mom and Dad are together. Plus its Mickey/Snoopy you know they will love it :)
I too had to pause the video to comment. I FEEL this. I feel you. It's hard. I remember feeling exactly what you seem to be expressing when I went though my divorce. I had no interest in being back in that marriage but the stuff brought back feelings...really hard to describe feelings. I think for me it was the fact that those things were like moments frozen in time and in those times I was happy exactly where I was. Things change, people change and, looking back, those happy times are the things that sting the heart the hardest. Maybe allow those tangible reminders to help guide you through processing the feelings you're having and then decide if they should stay or go. My heart is with you. I hope this year brings you nothing but happiness.
I definitely have memories attached to "things". This is the first year without my mother in law. Bringing out Christmas decorations and items she bought us was really hard for me. I can't imagine what you are going through. I remember the Mickey tree. I also remember a vlog way back when you were showing your Snoopy Christmas cookie jar and said it would be for your future children to have as an heirloom.
**raising glass** to new memories.
Your kids will love the things that they are used to seeing every year. Someone will definitely love the excess and will be happy to use. It’s great to clean out the excess:
I love that you call your piano room the “ballroom” because it has no furniture and you dance in it! I love dancing at home and children love dancing! Great sense of humor and outlook.
I’ve been watching your videos for a long time. Especially your past vlogmas videos, and I am so proud of you and the evolution you’ve had.
You seemed lost for a while there, and and this video watching you work through the process of letting go in a healthy mature way made me want to say go you 👍🏼
Anything that triggers emotion is good to let go off. There will be new memories and items you and your children pick.
I used to be poor in my 20s, always looking forward to be able to buy me lovely things. Then in my 30s I did it and quite enjoyed it, I did the the decorating thing, the hosting thing, the crafting and gardening... in my 40s I realised I spent too much time organising, cleaning and caring for my stuff. Now I have only 1 seasonal decoration only in my living room! That's it! Sooooo good! Try it
The kids could of used the cookie cutters for play doh 😅 xoxo thanks for vlogmas
Totally agree it's more wasteful to keep stuff you won't use. I have the same mindset and pass things on for others to use/enjoy.
It's therapy, going through your past that way. Personally it was very healing for me. Like you said, those things just don't fit in the new chapter.
Love the vlogs!
Happy Holidays ❤
Loving that you’re doing vlogmas this year !! I’ve been following you for at least 7 years now and you’ll always be my favourite TH-camr ❤️
Hi Jen! Could you share the Xmas book collection you have for the kids, I’m interested in starting a collection for my toddler and baby. Happy holidays!
I totally get how hard it is to go through things that have memories attached to them. My husband died six years ago and there are so many memories. I get started and I just can’t go on. So I get this!! You are doing good. Keep looking forward.
110% relate to the moving out of things. They can carry significant memories. My whole year has brought so much change and I’ve disconnected with quite a few things to move forward more fully in my new life. You are growing. It’s a beautiful thing.
Just because there is awful things going on in the world doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do all the things you do. It’s those things that make us feel sane. One day you won’t care so much about people coming for you in the comments. You are a very good person Jen. Great mother, great daughter and huge giver.
Christmas is for the kids. Yours would love to experience Christmas like you used to celebrate.
When my sister and I were going through my mom's things, we went through the same emotions. We decided that anything we cried over we would keep. Anything else had to go. Give yourself some time and you will know what to do. It's a journey. Big hugs
It's not just you. I actually have several of the Lenox Snoopy ornaments. My mom bought me one per year for 5 years. When I pulled them out from storage this year I started crying. I didn't even realize they meant that much to me but seeing them reminded me that I'll be completely alone this holiday season.
Jen, I totally can sympathize with you over sentimental stuff over the holidays. I do have one question, would you not want to keep it for CC or Don Jr when they are older? While is no longer a part of your present it is still their history, while they might not have been around yet, it’s still their history as well. I cherish a Santa my mom gave me when I moved out that my dad had given her a decade before they had split.
Jen glad to hear you're feeling better! Cardio works every time, takes about a week to come back. so happy to hear!
You honestly do not need any make up to be beautiful.
Also, may I say that it is absolutely refreshing to see you letting go of the old an opening yourself up for the new.
Jen, when I first saw your house tour with those Lenox Snoopy collectables I fell in love with them. It took me a while, but I finally found all the pieces (the candy dish was very hard to find). I remember you talking about them as you showed them, saying how much you adored them and that these were things you would love to pass down to any children you might have. I would hate to see you regret getting rid of those pieces. I have had similar feelings with items from a past relationship that I wasn't sure about when I eventually got married and moved all of my stuff. I packed some away that I was hesitant about, but after a couple years I was able to take them out and enjoy them. My advice is to keep them. Pack them away and see how you feel about them after more time has passed. I know you're trying to declutter, but you really did love those ornaments, and even though they were part of your married life, they really were mainly part of YOU. I'm sure your children would adore having those as they have families of their own in the future. I would wait before parting with them. Just my 2 cents. :)
Your hesitation and apprehension of selling your snoopy collectibles is so SO understandable! You spent a lot of years and made a lot of memories with Don. You are normal Jen...this is all normal and it is all very understandable to a reasonable person. I am constantly praying for you as you navigate your new life and you are doing such a great job. I have been a friend of yours since the beginning and to be honest I have grieved the loss of your relationship but I am happy you are doing so well and just know you are allowed to feel all the feelings and it is all ok. Love you. 💕
I would keep the Lenox Snoopy Tree. You can always give it away, but you can’t necessarily always get it back. You seem hesitant about it. It’s ok to have a couple of items that bring back memories, as long as it doesn’t jeopardize your present-day happiness. This video is cathartic!
You did really well Jen! You have worked through such a huge transition. Everything you said makes sense to me! I also have several of those Martha Stewart treat containers- they are so cute but I think this year might be the year I acknowledge that I’m just not going to use them and set them free!
You will feel so good when you bring out your decor next year and it is all things you love! 💕
Hey Jen, while our situations are different, I totally get the bittersweet sentimental attachment to holiday decorations. Holidays are especially tied up in our desire to create a warm loving family and memories, almost akin to the warmth of Thomas Kinkade painting, and I think that's why they are tougher. For over a decade, as I was dreaming of a family, I collected holiday decor thinking what a magical season I could create for my longed for babies. I wasn't able to have those babies, and that's the biggest heartbreak, and so while I still love those decorations, I can't really bring myself to use many of them, almost like I am not worthy of them, since I don't have the family they were purchased for. Anyway, not saying you feel the same, just that these items in particular become enmeshed in our dreams. That said, I think if you can use your items and they still bring you joy, maybe even after another couple of years have passed, you should. Or, another thought, is to save the most special or charming for your kids. They won't have the same bittersweet memories and instead may just love them as keepsakes you gave them. Just a thought anyway. I think what I most want to say is that you don't have to be In a rush to decide when you aren't sure. You could give it a couple of years and see.
I totally understand. These items have memories attached and especially holiday things! You are not alone and you
make perfect sense.
Thank you for being so raw and sharing this vulnerable part of your life with us! Lots of us have watched you since the beginning, and care about you and your family so much! ♥️
Ask CC and see if she likes it. Put it in her room.
I have a hard week emotionally! You want us to be real!
Your Vlogmas is helping to brighten my day! I think you look nice!
Thank you for being real!
I don’t know if your kids like play dough - but the cookie cutters are perfect for that! The former early childhood teacher in me is drooling at all possibilities you could make and do with all that with the kids! 🎄💖🤍 I don’t know where you’re planning to donate that, but a daycare/preschool would LOVE that!
Edit: the stuff in the first box 🤍
We just put up and decorated a tree for the first time since 2005. We lost our son in 2006, and I just didn’t have the heart to put up the tree. When you’re ready, you’re ready. And the painful things might take years to neutralize. Pack up, sell or give away the items that cause you pain or angst. Do it for you and no one else.
Thank you for sharing!
We love you Jennifer! If your vlogs are fun, we are with you! If they are emotional, also we are with you!! Great job on the decluttering!! Loved it.
Random question, but what piano do you have? I have a Yamaha upright and it looks very similar to mine :)
Jen, I completely hear what you are saying. I too am recently divorced and so many "things" trigger my emotions. I connect with the "things" too and we have a heart and it hurts sometimes. Keep the things that make you happy or the kids. I got a new tree this year with new ornament to celebrate a new beginning for the kids and I. I love how you express and relate your emotions to us! Thank you!! Your helping me at least.
I love seeing you so healthily and happily reflect on the memories and sentiments from the past brought to you by the items. I truly admire your approach to your new life and goals. Divorce is never the plan when you decide to marry someone, but I am so encouraged by how you (and Don seemingly) are navigating this life transition with each other and the kids. As a "child" of a divorce that was messy and heartbreaking, I see and applaud the healthy way you are navigating the holidays and the changes that are coming with it this year. Your babies are so blessed and will always know and feel your love!!! You, Charlotte, and Donny can start your own tradition/version of a "Mickey Tree" that you can attach new sentiments to as a mommy. :) Love you!
I remember many years ago in a holiday house tour your comment about the snoopy decor was that you hopes to pass it to your kids one day. I think its okay to tuck them into storage for another couple years and see how your emotions evolve. Id hate to see you get rid of something in a pretty emotional state and then regret it later. Thats just my two cents!
100 percent agree that hanging onto items you won't use is more wastful than donating. Someone will be excited to find those items. Decluttering is good for the soul.
I am so proud of you and the way that your vlog is so real. I appreciate your honesty. You are an inspiration!
When will you have all of your stuff out of the old house?
Why does she need to? Are you the new owner trying to move in? Chill
@@Joy-zf6cs didn’t know you were the comment police. She asked a question. Jen mentioned that she has stuff at the old house. I think everyone that is still here is here because we love and support Jen. So thanks for the snippy comment.
@@elisapetras8136 I don’t believe I replied to you .And not everyone here is here to support Jen . I’ve seen the comments .
I am in the same place as far as buying goes. I decluttered stuff I never used in preparation for a move. It made me really think twice before I buy new stuff. I think it’s just part of growing. Also, if an item doesn’t bring you joy sell it or donate it. You have worked hard to move on. You don’t need something bringing you back to a place you chose to move on from. ❤️
Jen- Thank you for your candor. You do not know how much this conversation meant to me.
So glad you're doing vlog'mas again! And doing a great job too! Keep smiling and carry on Jen! The best is yet to come for you!
Completely understand. Purging can be very helpful in moving on, especially with holiday stuff. I’ve been there.
Even though you like them I get the feeling they don't bring you joy when you see or hold them. They're still beautiful, and they're from another time that came with many gifts but I sense they aren't 'relevant' in your new, fresh and joyful home. Best of luck. I attach so much sentiment on holiday items too, so it must be so hard. I hope you find peace with what you choose to keep and let go.
Yay! Day four!🎄
😍
My thinking is that if it doesn’t make you feel good then get rid of it and move on from it, sell it and buy something new to replace it that you can fully enjoy and that makes you feel good. It doesn’t look like the Snoopy things make you feel good anymore. I love that you addressed your reasons behind letting objects go but I had already worked out that this was what you were doing and have been doing for quite a while. It makes complete sense to me. Memories are strong things but the most important thing is making new ones with your kids.
It’s not stupid! I know exactly how you feel. You do you. Xoxo
Hi Jen, I never comment but watch every single one of your videos over the years. You might not see this but I wanted to let you know that seeing you go through this phase in your life...I’m really proud of you. The emotions you’re having are really valid and you have taught me to work through my own feelings in my life about things I’ve held sentimental value to, including positive and negative memories that are taking up space in my brain. I just don’t have room to store those negative memories anymore and I feel motivated to work through not letting them take up mental space in my life anymore. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, thank you for sharing your life. Stay genuine to yourself. Post what you want to post and what feels good in your heart. I’m a supporter who will be here regardless and I appreciate the realness of what you’re going through instead of putting up a facade. On an unrelated note, I am getting a Peloton Bike+ this week. I would be interested in a review from you on some of your favorite classes and accessories, etc. if you need a video idea. Thank you!
Oh I’m so glad you uploaded! I was in the midsts of a panic attack and this instantly distracted me and got me all cozy again. Thank you Jen for always being a light in this world
Ohh I just saw the part of you talking about the snoopy item. One time my therapist told me to make new memories and traditions with items I kind of like but hold old feelings. So I did and if it still didn’t feel right then out it goes
I TOTALLY understand your feelings about your Mickey tree and your Snoopy collectibles - holiday items ESPECIALLY touch my heart, sometimes in a lovely way, and sometimes it hurts. ❤️
Nothing is a waste....you bought it and it helped keep society running.......and now you are blessing another who can purchase it cheaper at some charity places or get it for free. The other day we mailed some packages at the post office and at UPS and while boxes going to family members across the country were up to 39.00 to send....I am happy to support the shipping services, it helps keep the country and world running and people employed. etc. That is how I look at things! Great job going thru' things Jenn. Happy Holidays !!
As someone who went through a divorce a couple years ago, I really appreciate you sharing all of this. For myself, I felt internally okay long before I was able to articulate my thoughts or even describe what had happened. I'm not sure if it's just a lack of language or because divorce is so deeply personal. Or maybe because it intersects with so many inner sore spots? I still struggle to discuss it because I want to honor my ex's privacy and be compassionate to my past self and her dreams. I call these moments of heaviness my chrysalis pains, and as they fade I find I'm surprised by the strong, whimsical spirit within.
From what you've graciously shared with your viewers, your growth in all this has been lovely to see. Your honesty is refreshing, and whatever content you want to make, well, we're all cheering you on!