As soon as he heard me say “I sustained a severe TBI a couple of years ago and the injury left me with some irreversible damage that I will most likely struggle with for life….” *ding ding ding ding ding!!* Jackpot. That was like rolling out the red carpet for the oh so infamous gaslighting. He loved not having to work too hard at making me question my already challenged memory and lingering heartbreak the injury had left me with. He loved to downplay my injury, too… said I’ve had plenty of time to get over it and should stop whining about my damn migraines. Just the tip of the iceberg. Lots of love to all of you who are struggling with the heartache your narcissist caused you.
Great topic! When I go out I feel like I'm wearing a shirt that says Narc free rent here. The only kind of human being that I attract is a Narcissist!! BUT NOW I can spot their red flags and have them pinned by the first private conversation.
For me , unhealed wounds . My father was emotionally unavailable growing up everything had to revolve around him . As an adult i then mirrored men after my father until I was willing to go deep and realize I had unhealed wounds . In these dysfunctional relationships if we did nothing but slowed down and observed to see if there behavior matches there talk early on you will see there behavior is fake it's extremely lacking . They will not go the distance because they are not being authentic.
That's really great advice, to slow down and observe. I didn't do that in my last relationship, I just believed him because he was a man of God I thought. But I got took lol
That's really great advice, to slow down and observe. I didn't do that in my last relationship, I just believed him because he was a man of God I thought. But I got took lol
They love good, kind people and target them. Its funny how Narcs never end up with narcs ? No coincidence. They are like stalkers. You are the target 🎯
I haven’t watched the video yet, except for the first minute or so. So I’m just going to answer the question and I’m curious to see if it’s something that comes up during the course of the video. My mother is a narcissist and it dawned on me somewhere along the way that instead of daddy issues maybe I have mommy issues? I have always struggled with self-esteem and anxiety and I am very much an empath (I really hate that word, but it’s the simplest way to say it and everybody knows what it means) and, I guess in an effort to boost my own self-esteem, I have always been an I want to fix things for other people. So, without even trying, I seem to find the most damaged people around me and feel like if I try hard enough or love them enough, I can somehow fix things for them. My most recent relationship was a very clear example of the fact that, no, I can’t. And all I’ve done is make my own personal issues worse. Hopefully, at the ripe old age of 49, I have finally figured enough of this out that I don’t continue to make the same mistakes.
Sounds like you're my female soul mate. I can relate down to the mom, likely w/ NPD. Also hate the term empath, but too tired atm to explain why it has bad connotations, so you likewise have good instincts. I got out of the rescue mode years ago, logically anyway. Learned to recognize narcissism to a point. Had been involved w/ a few and dodged an overt one after a few mere months, largely unscathed and feeling relieved I did. Then got in a 10 year w/ a more covert one. Only seeing it now that I've turfed him 6 months for cheating. I actually shared that I think he has some level of NPD, but from a more compassionate stance, a la channels like Heal NPD, which I highly recommend. You sound like someone who would be quite receptive to a more compassionate and insightful look at pwNPD, w/out feeling misplaced compassion that would keep you trauma bonded and hurt more. I disagree pretty strongly w/ Bens intro on this, in light of better info. He has great insights, from being one. Lee can be better at conveying how narcissists aren't out sniffing the wind to prey on "empaths". They largely feel for us and are looking for love too. Most aren't malignant, but their maladaptions can be super painful when things start going sideways, because they don't have staying power, and usually can't maintain lasting love. When asked, my ex explained when he loves someone it's based on how it makes him feel. I'll just let that marinate...lol.
@Liz Barrand this sounds like me and its horrible and after what might be called a "relationship" my self esteem is through the floor , he says in the video they use wounded to suck us in and she sure did that then punished me for sins committed against her by someone else. Feels like revenge to me but i didnt hurt her just makes a person insane trying to understand the motivation behind it from them? such a horrible experience going to take some time to pick myself back up. thanks for sharing your experience it helped me thank you
I've heard a theory that borderline personality disorder is actually partially people with c-ptsd and partially people who have npd, all being diagnosed with the same thing. And the people who recover from BPD are the ones who had c-ptsd, and the ones who never get better or the ones who have NPD. It actually makes a lot of sense because sometimes someone is borderline but they act exactly like a narcissist
@@somethinggood9267 what you are saying has been clinically proven - most BPD diagnoses are misdiagnosed C-PTSD, which unfortunately enables the real BPDs = NPD on steroids to further the victim narrative. And while the new DSM and ICD have made the updated BPD diagnostic criteria to be almost identical to that of NPD, the pop-psych circles are already done their damage in completely dismissing the victims of narcissistic abuse at the hands of BPDs, and putting all of the blame onto the survivors.
As soon as he heard me say “I sustained a severe TBI a couple of years ago and the injury left me with some irreversible damage that I will most likely struggle with for life….” *ding ding ding ding ding!!* Jackpot. That was like rolling out the red carpet for the oh so infamous gaslighting. He loved not having to work too hard at making me question my already challenged memory and lingering heartbreak the injury had left me with. He loved to downplay my injury, too… said I’ve had plenty of time to get over it and should stop whining about my damn migraines. Just the tip of the iceberg. Lots of love to all of you who are struggling with the heartache your narcissist caused you.
Great topic! When I go out I feel like I'm wearing a shirt that says Narc free rent here. The only kind of human being that I attract is a Narcissist!!
BUT NOW I can spot their red flags and have them pinned by the first private conversation.
For me , unhealed wounds . My father was emotionally unavailable growing up everything had to revolve around him . As an adult i then mirrored men after my father until I was willing to go deep and realize I had unhealed wounds . In these dysfunctional relationships if we did nothing but slowed down and observed to see if there behavior matches there talk early on you will see there behavior is fake it's extremely lacking . They will not go the distance because they are not being authentic.
That's really great advice, to slow down and observe. I didn't do that in my last relationship, I just believed him because he was a man of God I thought. But I got took lol
That's really great advice, to slow down and observe. I didn't do that in my last relationship, I just believed him because he was a man of God I thought. But I got took lol
They love good, kind people and target them. Its funny how Narcs never end up with narcs ? No coincidence. They are like stalkers. You are the target 🎯
He saw a caring, forgiving person who he thought would forgive him anything...NOT
Manufactured love exactly that. 😢
I haven’t watched the video yet, except for the first minute or so. So I’m just going to answer the question and I’m curious to see if it’s something that comes up during the course of the video. My mother is a narcissist and it dawned on me somewhere along the way that instead of daddy issues maybe I have mommy issues? I have always struggled with self-esteem and anxiety and I am very much an empath (I really hate that word, but it’s the simplest way to say it and everybody knows what it means) and, I guess in an effort to boost my own self-esteem, I have always been an I want to fix things for other people. So, without even trying, I seem to find the most damaged people around me and feel like if I try hard enough or love them enough, I can somehow fix things for them. My most recent relationship was a very clear example of the fact that, no, I can’t. And all I’ve done is make my own personal issues worse. Hopefully, at the ripe old age of 49, I have finally figured enough of this out that I don’t continue to make the same mistakes.
Sounds like you're my female soul mate. I can relate down to the mom, likely w/ NPD. Also hate the term empath, but too tired atm to explain why it has bad connotations, so you likewise have good instincts. I got out of the rescue mode years ago, logically anyway. Learned to recognize narcissism to a point. Had been involved w/ a few and dodged an overt one after a few mere months, largely unscathed and feeling relieved I did. Then got in a 10 year w/ a more covert one. Only seeing it now that I've turfed him 6 months for cheating. I actually shared that I think he has some level of NPD, but from a more compassionate stance, a la channels like Heal NPD, which I highly recommend. You sound like someone who would be quite receptive to a more compassionate and insightful look at pwNPD, w/out feeling misplaced compassion that would keep you trauma bonded and hurt more.
I disagree pretty strongly w/ Bens intro on this, in light of better info. He has great insights, from being one. Lee can be better at conveying how narcissists aren't out sniffing the wind to prey on "empaths". They largely feel for us and are looking for love too. Most aren't malignant, but their maladaptions can be super painful when things start going sideways, because they don't have staying power, and usually can't maintain lasting love. When asked, my ex explained when he loves someone it's based on how it makes him feel. I'll just let that marinate...lol.
@Liz Barrand this sounds like me and its horrible and after what might be called a "relationship" my self esteem is through the floor , he says in the video they use wounded to suck us in and she sure did that then punished me for sins committed against her by someone else. Feels like revenge to me but i didnt hurt her just makes a person insane trying to understand the motivation behind it from them?
such a horrible experience going to take some time to pick myself back up.
thanks for sharing your experience it helped me thank you
Nothing is wrong with that women . Nothing . The entire blame is on the jerk only ….🤷🏻♀️
Think mine was a borderline but they seem very similar.
There's a fair bit of overlap w/ borderlines, because NPD is also on the cluster B spectrum.
@@saintejeannedarc9460 yes
I've heard a theory that borderline personality disorder is actually partially people with c-ptsd and partially people who have npd, all being diagnosed with the same thing. And the people who recover from BPD are the ones who had c-ptsd, and the ones who never get better or the ones who have NPD. It actually makes a lot of sense because sometimes someone is borderline but they act exactly like a narcissist
@@somethinggood9267 what you are saying has been clinically proven - most BPD diagnoses are misdiagnosed C-PTSD, which unfortunately enables the real BPDs = NPD on steroids to further the victim narrative. And while the new DSM and ICD have made the updated BPD diagnostic criteria to be almost identical to that of NPD, the pop-psych circles are already done their damage in completely dismissing the victims of narcissistic abuse at the hands of BPDs, and putting all of the blame onto the survivors.
This is a pitch-where are the answers to the question posed?
That sounds like my life. Seems to be I date them exclusively now that I Know so much about them