I'm pretty sure everyone that tunes into your channel LOVES that you're a real person and not "social media ready." It's refreshing. I'm a chaotic creative as well, and I know that I absolutely get inspiration seeing someone like me on screen. It's validating and helps to squash some of that guilt that I'm somehow not up to par with the rest of the world. Do what you're comfortable doing. We love you regardless of what you're wearing, makeup, or what your house looks like.
Sometimes, when I'm feeling down and like I'm "behind" in some way, I avoid watching most TH-cam channels, because their seemingly organised and neat life triggers my anxiety even more. I never skip your videos, though. The fact you're not "social media ready" makes you, ironically, the most relatable and watchable of all, so thank you for being real x
A friend of mine asked how I find time to write, and I told her that I do writing instead of cleaning the house. She went, "Ohhhh. Yeah, I don't know how to do that." It was the first time I've ever considered that allowing the house to get messy was a type of skill. 😅
Oh my heck! OH MY FREAKING HECK!!!! That is the EXACT response I give people whenever they ask how I manage to XYZ. "I don't clean." And a few years ago, I told my husband that my inability to clean was my number one talent. He was like....."I don't think that's a talent." and I was like, "Do you understand the lengths I will go to in order to NOT clean? Trust me, it's a talent!"
This is so real! I was raised with super high expectations around cleaning and in recent years have had to let go of some of those ingrained standards, allowing more mess to exist without feeling guilty so I can spend the time elsewhere 😅 it's definitely a skill in its own way
I'm so glad to see you getting back to your old self after the hurricane. I'm sure you still have your moments, but I hope to see you one day back in a bookstore, smiling. I think you're on your way.
It is getting a lot better, but it's been so weird to go through October and not be able to walk to town and go to work or even go write at the coffeehouse or anything else! The biting grief of the initial event is, at least, fading into more of just sadness/inconvenience/hope for the future.
I’m an old British guy, but I really related to what you said in this video. I am addicted to youtube “my desk/study setup” videos, and they always look stylish and super-neat. Then, I glance over to where my desk and computer are crammed into a tiny 2nd bedroom surrounded by a load of stuff that is dumped there because there is nowhere else in my apartment to put them. Whilst I envy and admire a minimalist approach to living/work spaces, I just had to admit to myself “that ain’t me”! Now, I’m looking at a pile of laundry that needs doing… Think I’ll make myself a coffee and watch some more desk/study setup videos😂
I love how down-to-earth you are, all of your talks about elements of your life are so relatable. That IDGAF vibe that comes with your 40s is really wonderful and freeing, I’m enjoying it too. Ditto on the clothing styles, I dress outwardly how I am inwardly, fashion trends be damned. And also on the messy house - I recently discovered I have ADHD and now understand my total inability to maintain tidy spaces. It’s great to see others on YT whose spaces feel relatable and comfortable. Thanks for being so open and sharing this with us!
OMG I literally just talked about the complexities of online aesthetics on my channel and came to the same conclusion: so many of us really do appreciate realness but can never totally escape the pressures and standards of online aesthetics. As always, you created a super validating discussion.
You look great , you are sincere and open. You wouldn’t believe how encouraging this is - to allow oneself to be real. It takes way too much energy (wasted energy) to try and present oneself as you might think others might find acceptable. I practice accepting my self as I am and am so much happier because of this.
I feel you on the pressure to look “aesthetic”. I don’t want to put on makeup every time I film, and I definitely don’t have the “look”. Also, this video motivated me to organize and clean out my disaster of a closet 😊
Your realness was what hooked me on your videos. Thank you for being genuinely _you_ in this space that seems to only allow those who are superficially 'correct.' Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I totally related to the discussion on TH-cam aesthetics and being self-consciousness on social media. One of the biggest things I felt was that I didn't belong on TH-cam, because I didn't have the right "look" and my videos were not as high-energy as others I would watch. I would try to get "dressed up" for vlogs, then I wouldn't have any energy left for actually writing. But, I love watching your channel, because you seem like a really nice friend I'd want to chat with over coffee or tea. I finally did find my balance with TH-cam with no-face/no-talking study videos or the occasional vlog instead of the sit-down chats. As I am getting older, I am prioritize what little energy I do have more and more. Thanks as always for sharing!
I’d like to say that if a messy house bothers *you*, then less stuff is definitely liberating. Signed: a formerly overwhelmed messy person. Releasing stuff has changed my life. The rest of your message about performing for others is so very valuable.
Having to choose where you are spending your time and how that is furthering your creative goals is such a real thing. I often get asked how I can write, be a mom and do ALL the things. Well, I don't do all the things. My house is often a mess and I am okay with that as long as it's sanitary ... mostly sanitary ... 😅 I love content creators who make space for showing glimpses into their honestly chaotic spaces from time to time. It helps me remember I can do my creative thing too. We are all real people.
I love your stuff because you don't put on airs and graces. You don't make me feel bad about myself. I can look at you on the screen and say, 'ah thats one of my people.' 😂
Oh yes to everything you said about putting yourself on social media. When I decided to start a channel, I felt all the things, but then I realized that all the regular folks who were not showing themselves or their messy flawed spaces, were actually perpetuating the myth that only the perky young people were on social media. Thanks for being you
"I have to clean last night's mess first." Yup, that is me, doing yesterday's dishes while listening to you! I am a lot like you it seems, if I go by this video. My house looks like yours, including the animal hair. I'm 49. I don't dye my grey hair nor do I wear make up and have hardly done so since about age 33. I'm chubby. My front tooth is similar to how yours is. 🙃 I've been thinking of starting a YT channel but I have been saying to myself I need to wait until my house is in order. I'm much more harsh about myself than others. I think that goes for most people. I don't think I've ever left a critical comment of any sort on a video. I think you are beautiful but like you said, does it matter? I usually don't comment about how nice someone looks because then I'm putting an importance on it. I rather focus on what is being said. With my daughters (age 18 & 25) I didn't comment very much on how pretty they were as they were growing up. Yes, sometimes, but I didn't want them to think that was super important. Instead I gave a lot of good feedback for their creative pursuits, their love of learning and just how they were generally as kind, smart young ladies. Anyway, I liked seeing the everyday living bit you did and I would love to see more. I know that they say when you start a YT channel you should niche down but I really like to see people talking /doing multiple things even if they have one core thing they usually focus on. I also heard, and I believe, people are now starting to swing towards wanting less edited, more authentic content. I think people are wanting to see others they can relate to that are not setting unreachable standards. People are looking for connection because it is severely lacking now adays. I've seen people talking about how they are tired of seeing people switch out decor every season, tired of over- consumption. Now it's "anti -influencing" --leaning toward slow living, and showing their lived in "messy" houses. Thanks for letting us into your space! ~ Rachelle
I always remind myself (when I feel low or self-conscious) that being my comfy self is all that is expected of me. I'd much rather have a fashionable day once a month and hear, "Wow, you look really nice today," than be an on-point 24/7 fashionable girly and hear, "Wow, are you okay?" when I am naturale.
As a fellow braids-wearer, I often try to guess how old your braids are. My own go through a 3-5 day cycle from freshly braided to wild-and-windblown, and I quite enjoy the more relaxed look of 2-4 day old braids. I usually brush my hair and re-braid it when my hair starts blowing in my face and getting in my way.
YES! I definitely wear braids, and a bandana too, so I don't have to deal with my hair every day! I've done it my whole life. I usually rebraid right before I get the dreaded dreds at the back of the head...
I found your channel several months ago and I've enjoyed your content so much, I searched non-aesthetic writing to find more creators like you! I hope you don't find that as an insult. I live a non-aesthetic writer's life and I'm okay with it.
I have a lot of cleaning anxiety from the way I was raised, but my rule of thumb is that as long as there's no food rotting in the kitchen, the bathrooms aren't a biohazard, and the cats have clean litter and feeding stations, that's good enough. Basically - does it smell? No? Then it's probably fine. We can tackle the clutter when we have the time and energy to do so. I feel you on the social media thing. I've been trying to record videos for my bookbinding business and it's uncovering so many insecurities I didn't know I had. My hands suddenly look weird, I never knew I had a lisp, my face is so red, my desk is so dingy, on and on. I was never self conscious about my appearane until I turned on a camera. I really didn't care what I looked like and felt that anyone who did wasn't worth my time. But making videos feels different. Other people's opinions actually matter when you want to build an audience. I'm hoping this is a hurdle I can overcome but it's hard.
I’ve been a minimalist for over a decade and while I know it’s not for everyone, I’ve helped friends and family REDUCE the amount of stuff they have. Everyone has had only positive things to say about the results, so keep going and you will reap those benefits! You don’t have to be bare bones if you don’t want to, but I’m sure most households have a LOT they could let go of and make life easier.
I love your channel for your authenticity. I also like that you know yourself so well. (I was never good at housework or wearing makeup either - too boring - no time for it!)
I am just like you I'm messy and get anxiety if company wants to visit. I'm not worried about wearing makeup as long as I'm showered and clean clothes on I'm happy. I don't like the to watch the channels that are fussing with decor and magazine perfect homes. You are down to earth and you are doing what you love to do. Those young girls will eventually catch up to us older ladies lol I'm glad I found your channel. Be happy with what you want to do don't worry about what's got to be done it will be there long after we're gone lol
I love this video. It's so true. I think one element of this is that we can also feel that we are failing by being self conscious, but I actually disagree. The truth is that we can be both self conscious and at the same time do it anyway. I think I do that a lot. I think it's still a success, even if we were nervous about what others thought. I will feel cringe toward myself, but still post my videos anyway, because I remember looking for my niche's type of content and feeling defeated when I couldn't find what I was looking for. So, I created the content I wish existed (in my niche), in case even just one other person searching TH-cam finds it useful. However, to say it's easy would be untrue. I'm always battling this each time I upload. I tend to be an over-thinker and a rumination machine, unfortunately. I love that you have expressed what so many of us are thinking / feeling when we view content. Some of it feels too staged, literally. And not to knock that, because staged backgrounds can be very pretty, but there's something I love about seeing real backgrounds with real things folks cherish. I also like seeing messy gardens and cluttered counters. I do agree that it is wise, though, to every now and then purge some things and condense. You're absolutely correct about that. Who will have to deal with our piles when we are gone. I shudder to think...I do not have kids and do not plan on having them, and also wouldn't want to burden my little brother with the task...so there's some motivation for ME to purge some things. It's time for one in my house again.
I don’t participate in social media in terms of being on camera but the beginning of this video really resonated with me as a woman who just turned 40. I am so happy and a bit messy and have a ton of books and I love it! 😻
I’m 47 and started my writing channel a couple of months ago. This video resonated with me a lot. I can’t compete with the energy and aesthetics of the younger people. But I absolutely love what they’re bringing to the table. 😊
Thank you for this. Not that I needed permission but it's nice to see it. My home is a nerdy aesthetic mixed with too many people in a small space. lol
Bookstores really are the best. And they smell good. And no one's getting rich off a bookstore job, but Jamey also paid me more than, frankly, he probably should have. He's just a really good guy.
I have definitely not recorded a video because I looked like shit on that day. I'm also one of those people who have one corner of the apartment tidy for possible recording, and the rest is absolute chaos. My kids and my book addiction don't help. Thank you for being one of the few women on the internet without make-up. It makes me feel less alone :)
To me, your authenticity, creativity, and intellect more than make up for the issues which are troubling you. I’d focus on your strengths and forget the rest.
Lidiya, I found your channel because of the hurricane - and I am so glad I did. This discussion is pertinent to everyone on TH-cam and to those who are even just thinking about it. 🤔 Our current home (1980s Athens Greece) is not of our aesthetic choice either - but when I recently “made peace with the aesthetic” and the fact there is nothing to be done about it for very many reasons, I suddenly found the energy to optimize specific corners of the space. First the small room where I sometimes read, write, sleep. Then the counter in the kitchen. A few tweeks to the bathroom (only I would notice). Finally, the Livingroom that is woefully furnished and overrun with husband’s papers. The point is - once I let go of my “imagined expectations” for my home, I freed up the energy to put a little bit of time and care into one pocket after another by simply rearranging what was there. It only took me FOUR YEARS 😫😂😅to come to this frame of mind where I was no longer overwhelmed by my dislike for my surroundings !!! So don’t despair !! Also, I think there are many women, like you and me, who don’t use makeup and value comfortable clothes over fashion. Thanks for speaking about your craft and for having the courage to present and articulate your experience on TH-cam. -V
Thank you for the vlog!! 🤗🍁✨ I agree with everything you had to say! I feel supported 💁🏽♀️ rejuvenated 🛀🌸 and inspired 🌈✨ I also appreciate you highlighting your community 🙏🏼 hope we can help at least a little bit 😢
Thank you for this! I've been just showing my hands as I don't feel I'm "presentable" enough to show my face on youtube. Silly really since when I first did youtube back in 2016 I always showed myself.... so yeah maybe soon I'll get the courage back to face the camera.
Do it ! 😃 It's not like you have to show your face every time. I think people really like that connection. I know that when I was watching this video (glancing over while doing dishes) I like that I felt like a friend was looking me in the eyes while talking. I don't have friends in real life. You never know who needs what you can give them! The people that are there for you are your people and the reason you are making videos (besides for yourself )....don't limit yourself based on some sad people that get off on thinking they are messing up your day by what they said. I mean, you are basically handing over your power to them. Know your worth and keep on! ❤
Admiring your kitchen curtains (bird theme). If there is something in my house I don’t like, I’ll think about the feasibility of painting it 😉. Your boxes may be in your way now, but imagine the feeling when everything is sold and gone! You look very organized with your eBay things. Great video 🎉
I usually have your videos on in the background while I'm drawing/working on cross stitch, so somehow this was the first time I noticed your Yang and Reinhard figurines (although given your cat's name, I probably should've figured that out earlier haha)
You know, I'm in the glorious don't give a shit 50s. So good for you being in the glorious don't give a shit 40s! Just keep it real, that's what drew me to your channel.
Girl, I had no idea you lived so close to me until your Helene video. 😅 I started watching you around the start of summer. Just so you know, my home has been extremely messy especially after the hurricane, and it wasn't the best even before that- you know? It's hard to find time, and idk about you but I've had less energy since Helene. It's okay if you have to take a bit longer to get things done.
Im so chaotich that visit one friend its just that challenge for me because i have a few sidejobs of selling stuff online for one side books for the other fragancies and help my aunt with her jewelery crafting. Also i write as a work ( i guess i had a lot on my plate to have everything perfect) but i always wanted to film myself talking but now o dont have the confidence or the space phisically. So what i did instead are podcast and enter the marvelous work of working with episodes and sound editing. Anyway your videos ar so cozy for myself that remind me to be a little bit gentle with me and all the things i dont do in every single day.
Just gotta remember "F#@% it, we'll do it live." When I go live on my other channel, I literally sit in front of a black sheet and it's not even a fancy one It's for a bed It looks like I'm in a specific location and unless it's pointed out, nobody can tell.
Whenever a fan is like "Oh, you should stream or do videos!" or a channel that does video interviews asks about an author interview, I just keep thinking of how much I would need to change in my life as a trans girl in a messy house to make myself even remotely confident doing that. For now, I just secretly stream here and there with two or three friends in chat to do voice training while playing some old game that doesn't require any thought. I feel bad turning down opportunities, but I keep imagining a comment section full of hate speech.
I watched a guy's video (I can't remember the content, maybe real estate?) Who was dressed in a nice shirt sitting in a nice chair but his camera kept slowly dropping and he was in his boxers!! 😆 But he just kept rolling.
It's possible you have ADHD too! We lack the executive function to break down the task and habits of keeping our environments clean. I don't know how other people do it either. My husband once tried explaining it to me. "Pick a spot, any spot, and just start cleaning from there." It didn't work.
I'm pretty sure that young, good-looking people with attractive homes get more subscribers and more sponsorship money than those who aren't like that. I'm also pretty sure that with perfect aesthetics even the biggest lies are sellable. (Have you ever been in a Catholic church?) But it's also true that lying and hiding these sad truths behind folkways won't really help. Being honest and earning different merits is probably a good idea.
Fellow trash goblin here! I'm also chaotic and don't usually see the point of cleaning. But also we live with my parents and a few years ago had to get rid of everything we had in storage, which was basically our whole lives before moving here, and I sort of filled the living room of their small mobile home with boxes and boxes and wasn't physically able to do anything about it for two whole years. (I didn't think too much of it until a friend surprised me with a visit and was horrified, lol.) We finally cleaned it as a surprise while they were away for a week, and it took the ENTIRE week of almost non-stop cleaning to get it all done and we only finished a couple hours before they got home.
WOW. You're in good company and expressing what a lot of Creatives feel and struggle with. Those early messages of shame sink in. I used to think that clean, tidy, and organized were all the same thing. They're NOT. They're 3 separate things. I learned that from Dana K. White at A Slob Comes Clean. She's says, "That's not how my brain works." I was just listening to her interview with Mel Robbins "5 Secrets to Declutter Your Home and Mind Like a Pro!" KC Davis is featured as well. Highly recommend! After decades of struggling against how my brain works, I discovered Dana. Things that are "so obvious!" to others (read her one-star Amazon reviews) are a flippin' revelation to me. I don't want a shiny, Pinterest-worthy home. I want functional, comfortable and EASY, instead of aspiring to what I grew up with. Years ago I was sitting in my sister's kitchen with her having a cuppa tea, and she said, "I really need to get into that pantry and clean it." I can honestly say, I've NEVER had that thought. That'll happen if something spills. Whatever.
I'm so glad that you alluded to that creeping change that happens with so many youtubers where as they get more popular they keep "improving" their backdrop and their camera and their makeup, and editing style, and start using filters etc... and I 100% understand where that comes from and why they do it, but it often makes me feel a bit sad for the same reasons you mentioned; depending what type of content they make, it often makes me feel like "ah, goodbye to those cozy relatable/achievable/real vibes I actually liked... 🥲" so I'm so glad you're thinking about those things from that angle! ❤ You're definitely a comfort re-watch channel for me because the low-key/real-life style doesn't unconsciously stress me out and reinforce unrealistic expectations the way most things made for "visual consumption" these days do. I definitely feel like "not enough" to be seen in public a lot of the time, even while I consciously and vehemently disagree with all the places that those expectations stem from, the *feeling* is still there. So I think the more people (especially women) who let themselves be seen online in "regular person" mode the better it will be for all of us, so thank you ❤️❤️ Not to mention the the dystopian AI-fakeness creeping into every facet of the internet and media nowadays while so many people just pretend not to even notice is getting absolutely exhausting and depressing and making me feel crazy lately. I'm so glad you're just you! It's very grounding.
I'm pretty sure everyone that tunes into your channel LOVES that you're a real person and not "social media ready." It's refreshing. I'm a chaotic creative as well, and I know that I absolutely get inspiration seeing someone like me on screen. It's validating and helps to squash some of that guilt that I'm somehow not up to par with the rest of the world. Do what you're comfortable doing. We love you regardless of what you're wearing, makeup, or what your house looks like.
Sometimes, when I'm feeling down and like I'm "behind" in some way, I avoid watching most TH-cam channels, because their seemingly organised and neat life triggers my anxiety even more.
I never skip your videos, though. The fact you're not "social media ready" makes you, ironically, the most relatable and watchable of all, so thank you for being real x
A friend of mine asked how I find time to write, and I told her that I do writing instead of cleaning the house. She went, "Ohhhh. Yeah, I don't know how to do that." It was the first time I've ever considered that allowing the house to get messy was a type of skill. 😅
Oh my heck! OH MY FREAKING HECK!!!! That is the EXACT response I give people whenever they ask how I manage to XYZ. "I don't clean." And a few years ago, I told my husband that my inability to clean was my number one talent. He was like....."I don't think that's a talent." and I was like, "Do you understand the lengths I will go to in order to NOT clean? Trust me, it's a talent!"
This is so real! I was raised with super high expectations around cleaning and in recent years have had to let go of some of those ingrained standards, allowing more mess to exist without feeling guilty so I can spend the time elsewhere 😅 it's definitely a skill in its own way
your channel is honestly just such a breath of fresh air 😊 I always feels less anxious and worried after watching so thank you!
I'm so glad to see you getting back to your old self after the hurricane. I'm sure you still have your moments, but I hope to see you one day back in a bookstore, smiling. I think you're on your way.
It is getting a lot better, but it's been so weird to go through October and not be able to walk to town and go to work or even go write at the coffeehouse or anything else! The biting grief of the initial event is, at least, fading into more of just sadness/inconvenience/hope for the future.
I’m an old British guy, but I really related to what you said in this video.
I am addicted to youtube “my desk/study setup” videos, and they always look stylish and super-neat. Then, I glance over to where my desk and computer are crammed into a tiny 2nd bedroom surrounded by a load of stuff that is dumped there because there is nowhere else in my apartment to put them.
Whilst I envy and admire a minimalist approach to living/work spaces, I just had to admit to myself “that ain’t me”!
Now, I’m looking at a pile of laundry that needs doing…
Think I’ll make myself a coffee and watch some more desk/study setup videos😂
I love how down-to-earth you are, all of your talks about elements of your life are so relatable. That IDGAF vibe that comes with your 40s is really wonderful and freeing, I’m enjoying it too. Ditto on the clothing styles, I dress outwardly how I am inwardly, fashion trends be damned. And also on the messy house - I recently discovered I have ADHD and now understand my total inability to maintain tidy spaces. It’s great to see others on YT whose spaces feel relatable and comfortable. Thanks for being so open and sharing this with us!
OMG I literally just talked about the complexities of online aesthetics on my channel and came to the same conclusion: so many of us really do appreciate realness but can never totally escape the pressures and standards of online aesthetics. As always, you created a super validating discussion.
You look great , you are sincere and open. You wouldn’t believe how encouraging this is - to allow oneself to be real. It takes way too much energy (wasted energy) to try and present oneself as you might think others might find acceptable. I practice accepting my self as I am and am so much happier because of this.
I feel you on the pressure to look “aesthetic”. I don’t want to put on makeup every time I film, and I definitely don’t have the “look”. Also, this video motivated me to organize and clean out my disaster of a closet 😊
I’m still impressed that you’re a writer who bought her own house! ❤
Your realness was what hooked me on your videos. Thank you for being genuinely _you_ in this space that seems to only allow those who are superficially 'correct.'
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Lidiya, other TH-camrs have an audience; you have a reverse harem. And we're happy to be here.
I totally related to the discussion on TH-cam aesthetics and being self-consciousness on social media. One of the biggest things I felt was that I didn't belong on TH-cam, because I didn't have the right "look" and my videos were not as high-energy as others I would watch. I would try to get "dressed up" for vlogs, then I wouldn't have any energy left for actually writing.
But, I love watching your channel, because you seem like a really nice friend I'd want to chat with over coffee or tea. I finally did find my balance with TH-cam with no-face/no-talking study videos or the occasional vlog instead of the sit-down chats. As I am getting older, I am prioritize what little energy I do have more and more. Thanks as always for sharing!
I’d like to say that if a messy house bothers *you*, then less stuff is definitely liberating. Signed: a formerly overwhelmed messy person. Releasing stuff has changed my life. The rest of your message about performing for others is so very valuable.
Sending you warm wishes as you work toward a simpler life! Sorry you’re at the things-are-worse stage of clearing out.
Thank you for being real 💫
One of the reasons I watch your channel is that you seem to be your authentic self. I enjoy the person you share on youtube just the way you are. :)
Having to choose where you are spending your time and how that is furthering your creative goals is such a real thing. I often get asked how I can write, be a mom and do ALL the things. Well, I don't do all the things. My house is often a mess and I am okay with that as long as it's sanitary ... mostly sanitary ... 😅 I love content creators who make space for showing glimpses into their honestly chaotic spaces from time to time. It helps me remember I can do my creative thing too. We are all real people.
I love your stuff because you don't put on airs and graces. You don't make me feel bad about myself.
I can look at you on the screen and say, 'ah thats one of my people.' 😂
Oh yes to everything you said about putting yourself on social media. When I decided to start a channel, I felt all the things, but then I realized that all the regular folks who were not showing themselves or their messy flawed spaces, were actually perpetuating the myth that only the perky young people were on social media. Thanks for being you
"I have to clean last night's mess first." Yup, that is me, doing yesterday's dishes while listening to you! I am a lot like you it seems, if I go by this video. My house looks like yours, including the animal hair. I'm 49. I don't dye my grey hair nor do I wear make up and have hardly done so since about age 33. I'm chubby. My front tooth is similar to how yours is. 🙃 I've been thinking of starting a YT channel but I have been saying to myself I need to wait until my house is in order. I'm much more harsh about myself than others. I think that goes for most people. I don't think I've ever left a critical comment of any sort on a video. I think you are beautiful but like you said, does it matter? I usually don't comment about how nice someone looks because then I'm putting an importance on it. I rather focus on what is being said. With my daughters (age 18 & 25) I didn't comment very much on how pretty they were as they were growing up. Yes, sometimes, but I didn't want them to think that was super important. Instead I gave a lot of good feedback for their creative pursuits, their love of learning and just how they were generally as kind, smart young ladies.
Anyway, I liked seeing the everyday living bit you did and I would love to see more. I know that they say when you start a YT channel you should niche down but I really like to see people talking /doing multiple things even if they have one core thing they usually focus on. I also heard, and I believe, people are now starting to swing towards wanting less edited, more authentic content. I think people are wanting to see others they can relate to that are not setting unreachable standards. People are looking for connection because it is severely lacking now adays. I've seen people talking about how they are tired of seeing people switch out decor every season, tired of over- consumption. Now it's "anti -influencing" --leaning toward slow living, and showing their lived in "messy" houses.
Thanks for letting us into your space! ~ Rachelle
I always remind myself (when I feel low or self-conscious) that being my comfy self is all that is expected of me.
I'd much rather have a fashionable day once a month and hear, "Wow, you look really nice today," than be an on-point 24/7 fashionable girly and hear, "Wow, are you okay?" when I am naturale.
As a fellow braids-wearer, I often try to guess how old your braids are. My own go through a 3-5 day cycle from freshly braided to wild-and-windblown, and I quite enjoy the more relaxed look of 2-4 day old braids. I usually brush my hair and re-braid it when my hair starts blowing in my face and getting in my way.
YES! I definitely wear braids, and a bandana too, so I don't have to deal with my hair every day! I've done it my whole life. I usually rebraid right before I get the dreaded dreds at the back of the head...
L, I'd like to see the mess aaaand the vintage dresses....that's not a contradiction😂❤😂❤
This was great. Your authenticity makes a big difference for other folks. Thanks!
Thanks for the real reminder that it's okay not to be perfect. Best wishes!
I found your channel several months ago and I've enjoyed your content so much, I searched non-aesthetic writing to find more creators like you! I hope you don't find that as an insult. I live a non-aesthetic writer's life and I'm okay with it.
I’ve been planning on starting a craft channel for a while and this makes me feel a lot better about it.
Thank you for showing up as yourself, great video!
I love the howling cat in the background. He needs attention!
That's my old girl and she gets more attention than anyone! It's just that the second you leave her alone she starts doing that! 😂
I have a lot of cleaning anxiety from the way I was raised, but my rule of thumb is that as long as there's no food rotting in the kitchen, the bathrooms aren't a biohazard, and the cats have clean litter and feeding stations, that's good enough. Basically - does it smell? No? Then it's probably fine. We can tackle the clutter when we have the time and energy to do so.
I feel you on the social media thing. I've been trying to record videos for my bookbinding business and it's uncovering so many insecurities I didn't know I had. My hands suddenly look weird, I never knew I had a lisp, my face is so red, my desk is so dingy, on and on. I was never self conscious about my appearane until I turned on a camera. I really didn't care what I looked like and felt that anyone who did wasn't worth my time. But making videos feels different. Other people's opinions actually matter when you want to build an audience. I'm hoping this is a hurdle I can overcome but it's hard.
I’ve been a minimalist for over a decade and while I know it’s not for everyone, I’ve helped friends and family REDUCE the amount of stuff they have. Everyone has had only positive things to say about the results, so keep going and you will reap those benefits! You don’t have to be bare bones if you don’t want to, but I’m sure most households have a LOT they could let go of and make life easier.
We love you for how real and kind and relatable you are :) always look forward to your videos :)
Me, who lives in utter chaos: huh. Seems pretty clean to me!
I like your channel, but honestly, I gave you a thumbs up immediately based on the thumbnail only. Really enjoy your content.
I love your channel for your authenticity. I also like that you know yourself so well. (I was never good at housework or wearing makeup either - too boring - no time for it!)
I love you even more after this video! 😂
I am just like you I'm messy and get anxiety if company wants to visit.
I'm not worried about wearing makeup as long as I'm showered and clean clothes on I'm happy.
I don't like the to watch the channels that are fussing with decor and magazine perfect homes.
You are down to earth and you are doing what you love to do.
Those young girls will eventually catch up to us older ladies lol
I'm glad I found your channel.
Be happy with what you want to do don't worry about what's got to be done it will be there long after we're gone lol
I really appreciate your encouragement. I will make a video.
I love this video. It's so true. I think one element of this is that we can also feel that we are failing by being self conscious, but I actually disagree. The truth is that we can be both self conscious and at the same time do it anyway. I think I do that a lot. I think it's still a success, even if we were nervous about what others thought. I will feel cringe toward myself, but still post my videos anyway, because I remember looking for my niche's type of content and feeling defeated when I couldn't find what I was looking for. So, I created the content I wish existed (in my niche), in case even just one other person searching TH-cam finds it useful. However, to say it's easy would be untrue. I'm always battling this each time I upload. I tend to be an over-thinker and a rumination machine, unfortunately. I love that you have expressed what so many of us are thinking / feeling when we view content. Some of it feels too staged, literally. And not to knock that, because staged backgrounds can be very pretty, but there's something I love about seeing real backgrounds with real things folks cherish. I also like seeing messy gardens and cluttered counters. I do agree that it is wise, though, to every now and then purge some things and condense. You're absolutely correct about that. Who will have to deal with our piles when we are gone. I shudder to think...I do not have kids and do not plan on having them, and also wouldn't want to burden my little brother with the task...so there's some motivation for ME to purge some things. It's time for one in my house again.
I hope you keep doing your thing in your way.
I don’t participate in social media in terms of being on camera but the beginning of this video really resonated with me as a woman who just turned 40. I am so happy and a bit messy and have a ton of books and I love it! 😻
I’m 47 and started my writing channel a couple of months ago. This video resonated with me a lot. I can’t compete with the energy and aesthetics of the younger people. But I absolutely love what they’re bringing to the table. 😊
P.S. I am looking at your background Wall o' Books and thinking #GOALS!
Your channel is so soothing. 😊
Thank you for this. Not that I needed permission but it's nice to see it. My home is a nerdy aesthetic mixed with too many people in a small space. lol
About 100 years ago I managed Waldenbooks stores for a living. It was hands down the best job I've had. Lousy pay but great job.
Bookstores really are the best. And they smell good. And no one's getting rich off a bookstore job, but Jamey also paid me more than, frankly, he probably should have. He's just a really good guy.
even with less stuff im still a mess lol...lets here it for us messies!
I needed to hear that so bad! Thank you. You are such a sweet understanding person
I have definitely not recorded a video because I looked like shit on that day. I'm also one of those people who have one corner of the apartment tidy for possible recording, and the rest is absolute chaos. My kids and my book addiction don't help.
Thank you for being one of the few women on the internet without make-up. It makes me feel less alone :)
I think you are enough! Cheers
Hi Lidiya! Don't change, be your authentic self. I luv you, your channel, your home and most especially your sweet cats! ❤
the intro monologue resonates with me *so* much ❤️🔥😮💨
I love your look, real and perfect. Someone I would smile at as I pass by.
I love your honesty 👍
To me, your authenticity, creativity, and intellect more than make up for the issues which are troubling you. I’d focus on your strengths and forget the rest.
Lidiya, I found your channel because of the hurricane - and I am so glad I did. This discussion is pertinent to everyone on TH-cam and to those who are even just thinking about it. 🤔 Our current home (1980s Athens Greece) is not of our aesthetic choice either - but when I recently “made peace with the aesthetic” and the fact there is nothing to be done about it for very many reasons, I suddenly found the energy to optimize specific corners of the space. First the small room where I sometimes read, write, sleep. Then the counter in the kitchen. A few tweeks to the bathroom (only I would notice). Finally, the Livingroom that is woefully furnished and overrun with husband’s papers. The point is - once I let go of my “imagined expectations” for my home, I freed up the energy to put a little bit of time and care into one pocket after another by simply rearranging what was there. It only took me FOUR YEARS 😫😂😅to come to this frame of mind where I was no longer overwhelmed by my dislike for my surroundings !!! So don’t despair !! Also, I think there are many women, like you and me, who don’t use makeup and value comfortable clothes over fashion.
Thanks for speaking about your craft and for having the courage to present and articulate your experience on TH-cam. -V
Thank you for the vlog!! 🤗🍁✨ I agree with everything you had to say! I feel supported 💁🏽♀️ rejuvenated 🛀🌸 and inspired 🌈✨
I also appreciate you highlighting your community 🙏🏼 hope we can help at least a little bit 😢
Thanks for this video. I am struggling with finding a balance between house and writing and youtube channel about story buildng coming soon.
Thank you for this! I've been just showing my hands as I don't feel I'm "presentable" enough to show my face on youtube. Silly really since when I first did youtube back in 2016 I always showed myself.... so yeah maybe soon I'll get the courage back to face the camera.
Do it ! 😃 It's not like you have to show your face every time. I think people really like that connection. I know that when I was watching this video (glancing over while doing dishes) I like that I felt like a friend was looking me in the eyes while talking. I don't have friends in real life. You never know who needs what you can give them! The people that are there for you are your people and the reason you are making videos (besides for yourself )....don't limit yourself based on some sad people that get off on thinking they are messing up your day by what they said. I mean, you are basically handing over your power to them. Know your worth and keep on! ❤
Admiring your kitchen curtains (bird theme). If there is something in my house I don’t like, I’ll think about the feasibility of painting it 😉. Your boxes may be in your way now, but imagine the feeling when everything is sold and gone! You look very organized with your eBay things. Great video 🎉
I usually have your videos on in the background while I'm drawing/working on cross stitch, so somehow this was the first time I noticed your Yang and Reinhard figurines (although given your cat's name, I probably should've figured that out earlier haha)
I have watched your videos, especially whe. Youre showing artwiork pr album coveras, but many time I just listen. You have a nice voice.
You know, I'm in the glorious don't give a shit 50s. So good for you being in the glorious don't give a shit 40s! Just keep it real, that's what drew me to your channel.
Girl, I had no idea you lived so close to me until your Helene video. 😅 I started watching you around the start of summer. Just so you know, my home has been extremely messy especially after the hurricane, and it wasn't the best even before that- you know? It's hard to find time, and idk about you but I've had less energy since Helene. It's okay if you have to take a bit longer to get things done.
❤❤❤
I just read about döstädning. I Like the Idea, many greetings from Germany
I love this 💗
Im so chaotich that visit one friend its just that challenge for me because i have a few sidejobs of selling stuff online for one side books for the other fragancies and help my aunt with her jewelery crafting. Also i write as a work ( i guess i had a lot on my plate to have everything perfect) but i always wanted to film myself talking but now o dont have the confidence or the space phisically. So what i did instead are podcast and enter the marvelous work of working with episodes and sound editing. Anyway your videos ar so cozy for myself that remind me to be a little bit gentle with me and all the things i dont do in every single day.
This. Neurodivergent housekeeping and self care is a never ending nightmare. 😂 Love this message though.
Just gotta remember "F#@% it, we'll do it live."
When I go live on my other channel, I literally sit in front of a black sheet and it's not even a fancy one It's for a bed It looks like I'm in a specific location and unless it's pointed out, nobody can tell.
but honestly... same! biggest de-motivation for making content is how much of a mess my house and barn are, no matter how much i clean LOL
Whenever a fan is like "Oh, you should stream or do videos!" or a channel that does video interviews asks about an author interview, I just keep thinking of how much I would need to change in my life as a trans girl in a messy house to make myself even remotely confident doing that. For now, I just secretly stream here and there with two or three friends in chat to do voice training while playing some old game that doesn't require any thought. I feel bad turning down opportunities, but I keep imagining a comment section full of hate speech.
I watched a guy's video (I can't remember the content, maybe real estate?) Who was dressed in a nice shirt sitting in a nice chair but his camera kept slowly dropping and he was in his boxers!! 😆 But he just kept rolling.
It's possible you have ADHD too! We lack the executive function to break down the task and habits of keeping our environments clean. I don't know how other people do it either. My husband once tried explaining it to me. "Pick a spot, any spot, and just start cleaning from there." It didn't work.
I'm pretty sure that young, good-looking people with attractive homes get more subscribers and more sponsorship money than those who aren't like that. I'm also pretty sure that with perfect aesthetics even the biggest lies are sellable. (Have you ever been in a Catholic church?) But it's also true that lying and hiding these sad truths behind folkways won't really help. Being honest and earning different merits is probably a good idea.
Fellow trash goblin here! I'm also chaotic and don't usually see the point of cleaning. But also we live with my parents and a few years ago had to get rid of everything we had in storage, which was basically our whole lives before moving here, and I sort of filled the living room of their small mobile home with boxes and boxes and wasn't physically able to do anything about it for two whole years. (I didn't think too much of it until a friend surprised me with a visit and was horrified, lol.) We finally cleaned it as a surprise while they were away for a week, and it took the ENTIRE week of almost non-stop cleaning to get it all done and we only finished a couple hours before they got home.
WOW. You're in good company and expressing what a lot of Creatives feel and struggle with. Those early messages of shame sink in. I used to think that clean, tidy, and organized were all the same thing. They're NOT. They're 3 separate things. I learned that from Dana K. White at A Slob Comes Clean. She's says, "That's not how my brain works." I was just listening to her interview with Mel Robbins "5 Secrets to Declutter Your Home and Mind Like a Pro!" KC Davis is featured as well. Highly recommend! After decades of struggling against how my brain works, I discovered Dana. Things that are "so obvious!" to others (read her one-star Amazon reviews) are a flippin' revelation to me. I don't want a shiny, Pinterest-worthy home. I want functional, comfortable and EASY, instead of aspiring to what I grew up with. Years ago I was sitting in my sister's kitchen with her having a cuppa tea, and she said, "I really need to get into that pantry and clean it." I can honestly say, I've NEVER had that thought. That'll happen if something spills. Whatever.
Why do you seemingly have several copies of the same books? @22:39 Or is that your work aka bookstore? I'm new here.
Trash goblins unite! Okay back to the video
I'm so glad that you alluded to that creeping change that happens with so many youtubers where as they get more popular they keep "improving" their backdrop and their camera and their makeup, and editing style, and start using filters etc... and I 100% understand where that comes from and why they do it, but it often makes me feel a bit sad for the same reasons you mentioned; depending what type of content they make, it often makes me feel like "ah, goodbye to those cozy relatable/achievable/real vibes I actually liked... 🥲" so I'm so glad you're thinking about those things from that angle! ❤ You're definitely a comfort re-watch channel for me because the low-key/real-life style doesn't unconsciously stress me out and reinforce unrealistic expectations the way most things made for "visual consumption" these days do.
I definitely feel like "not enough" to be seen in public a lot of the time, even while I consciously and vehemently disagree with all the places that those expectations stem from, the *feeling* is still there. So I think the more people (especially women) who let themselves be seen online in "regular person" mode the better it will be for all of us, so thank you ❤️❤️
Not to mention the the dystopian AI-fakeness creeping into every facet of the internet and media nowadays while so many people just pretend not to even notice is getting absolutely exhausting and depressing and making me feel crazy lately. I'm so glad you're just you! It's very grounding.