I began a similar process six weeks ago, before I saw this video. But I'm seeing so much of what you're saying, panning out. This is great great stuff. Slowly the anxiety is waning a bit and emerging is an awareness of social openings I couldn't quite see before, or how people are behaving. I'm making a few of those connections but it's going to be a while before serious acumen develops. But I'm game so far! Thanks for the insight
Heh am I the only guy who loves meeting new people? Though that's probably because I never figured out to actually turn acquaintances and colleagues into close friends.
Don't know how to invite people to do stuff. And fucking terrified of doing it to people who I might have to be near often. One reason I'm going on erasmus(study abroad for half a year) as well as live in hostel for 2 months where it should be easy to at least make new acquaintances often to overcome a lot of fears without additional unnecessary stress.
What you say seems to check out. But you didn't address the competitiveness of many social environments. There are always people who think/know they are above me in terms of social intelligence and use it as leverage to push me into the corner. (Say when deciding who it's ok to interrupt or whose approval has any validity - basically some people 1) strive to take all the attention and 2) in a newly estableshed group only interact with people they pick, and talk over others whenever they feel like ) They feel it's okay to impose themselves over me, as if it was meant to be so by nature, as they try to establish themselves in a good position relatively to the most in the group. Unfortunately such people are often accepted inspite of their rudeness. This causes often times that I'm already on the defensive since the start and can only interact with other members of the group, who have been put down too. Then it's like I am at their mercy, which sucks. Yes many people are socially awkward, but many others take advantage of this. How can I improve my skill when there is such aggressive competition?
John Lüka Just practice social skills and assert dominance bro.. get confidence and start being risky like If ur at school start like touching a guys butt and you dominated them
Alas, there is no social groups where I live, and it is too tiring for me to travel 1.5 hours after work to some meeting to then travel again 1.5 hours home - the social events themselves drain a HUGE lot of energy from me, and the commuting... yeah, it seems like I wound not raise my social intelligence in my entire life.
I know exactly the feeling. And you seem weird and out of place if you travel that far for a social event. Plus the odds there is a single female your age at one of them, that might be interested in you at that, is generally low.
@@seanm2818 Yes... =-( But I am not giving up, I'm saving money to move to the big city near me, and then I will have the ability to attend social events)
The hotter the lady, the more insecure. Go for the most beautiful girl in the room. Most men don't have the confidence to approach the hottest girl and when you do you stand out above the rest.
I’d say he’s probably out of her league of all she has is her looks. Of the two stereotypes presented the man is more likely to have the higher income and standard of living.
you said something very interesting. Walking groups....... being that I love walking.... but I'm guessing there's just old married/taken women or moms..... I doubt any single women 21 to 42... I could be wrong. Am ?
Yes, it depends on what walking group, in what city... But I've been on some walking groups with some attractive single women to be sure! But also, there are walking groups full of seniors too.
Love is a male concept anyway. It doesn't matter if she's interested because of your money, jaw or height, in the end she can never feel for a man what a man can feel for her.
Kasperi Matias Youre right i was insecure and selfish at the time.. I’m trying to improve and be natural now tho.. Improving sympathy and empathy to people so sorry, and If i was really hating i wouldnt have liked ur comment ;)
To be fair, a lot depends on the 40 year old man you are picturing - Picture Will Smith 10 years ago picking up a 24 year old - doesn't seem so weird right? But if you picture a slightly overweight man with a dad-beard hitting on a young sorority girl (which is what people normally picture) then it just feels wrong.
I know 40 year old men who can pull 24 year old women. Being 40 doesn't mean you can't be handsome and charming. Honestly, I'd say its the opposite. Imagine a guy with loads of life experience, a successful career, and in good shape. That much higher up the totem pole than a 25 year old idiot who is working at starbucks while trying to get a philosophy degree.
@@Fishdogpigsquirrel you are absolutely correct. In fact, the examples you provide are why dads from other cultures actually prefer that their daughters get hitched with the older established settled mature man
"You have to pay the piper either way" a massive point that most guys don't understand
Please elaborate!
I began a similar process six weeks ago, before I saw this video. But I'm seeing so much of what you're saying, panning out. This is great great stuff. Slowly the anxiety is waning a bit and emerging is an awareness of social openings I couldn't quite see before, or how people are behaving. I'm making a few of those connections but it's going to be a while before serious acumen develops. But I'm game so far! Thanks for the insight
Heh am I the only guy who loves meeting new people?
Though that's probably because I never figured out to actually turn acquaintances and colleagues into close friends.
EXACTLY!
I think I am the exact opposite, I am terrified of meeting new people but I have really close friends
@@James-ou4dd Same. Kinda funny how I envy other people without realizing they might struggle as well, just differently.
Don't know how to invite people to do stuff. And fucking terrified of doing it to people who I might have to be near often. One reason I'm going on erasmus(study abroad for half a year) as well as live in hostel for 2 months where it should be easy to at least make new acquaintances often to overcome a lot of fears without additional unnecessary stress.
Travelling is great for this. Takes years of solid work though!
What you say seems to check out. But you didn't address the competitiveness of many social environments. There are always people who think/know they are above me in terms of social intelligence and use it as leverage to push me into the corner. (Say when deciding who it's ok to interrupt or whose approval has any validity - basically some people 1) strive to take all the attention and 2) in a newly estableshed group only interact with people they pick, and talk over others whenever they feel like ) They feel it's okay to impose themselves over me, as if it was meant to be so by nature, as they try to establish themselves in a good position relatively to the most in the group. Unfortunately such people are often accepted inspite of their rudeness. This causes often times that I'm already on the defensive since the start and can only interact with other members of the group, who have been put down too. Then it's like I am at their mercy, which sucks. Yes many people are socially awkward, but many others take advantage of this. How can I improve my skill when there is such aggressive competition?
John Lüka Just practice social skills and assert dominance bro.. get confidence and start being risky like If ur at school start like touching a guys butt and you dominated them
Alas, there is no social groups where I live, and it is too tiring for me to travel 1.5 hours after work to some meeting to then travel again 1.5 hours home - the social events themselves drain a HUGE lot of energy from me, and the commuting... yeah, it seems like I wound not raise my social intelligence in my entire life.
I know exactly the feeling. And you seem weird and out of place if you travel that far for a social event. Plus the odds there is a single female your age at one of them, that might be interested in you at that, is generally low.
@@seanm2818 Yes... =-( But I am not giving up, I'm saving money to move to the big city near me, and then I will have the ability to attend social events)
Great video man. You explained this to well. Thank you.
The hotter the lady, the more insecure. Go for the most beautiful girl in the room. Most men don't have the confidence to approach the hottest girl and when you do you stand out above the rest.
This is BANG ON
Cody Bogard have you tried it yourself or are you the guy who is afraid to approach her?
Very right
I’d say he’s probably out of her league of all she has is her looks. Of the two stereotypes presented the man is more likely to have the higher income and standard of living.
Solid content as usual :)) but please shave your neck 😨
No :P
He is waiting for the next visit to the stylist who asked not to touch it until.
nerdy low SI meets cheerleader high SI th-cam.com/video/rnaCi4rBfqw/w-d-xo.html Gets girl.
you said something very interesting.
Walking groups.......
being that I love walking....
but I'm guessing there's just old married/taken women or moms.....
I doubt any single women 21 to 42...
I could be wrong.
Am ?
Yes, it depends on what walking group, in what city... But I've been on some walking groups with some attractive single women to be sure! But also, there are walking groups full of seniors too.
Books, movies and sarcasm works well.
On point as always - I'd love to see you talk more on sexuality...
Nick G ooh kinky
Just curious... why do you look relatively average in these form videos, but like a Chad in the workshop videos?
Because the secret to doing well on Tinder is using really great photos of yourself.
Very good video quality
Love is a male concept anyway. It doesn't matter if she's interested because of your money, jaw or height, in the end she can never feel for a man what a man can feel for her.
👍
Ruckus Just like it instead? Nobody cares tbh
@@mariusleroy8895 wtf is your problem? You must be very insecure when u are just hating on everyone
Kasperi Matias Youre right i was insecure and selfish at the time.. I’m trying to improve and be natural now tho.. Improving sympathy and empathy to people so sorry, and If i was really hating i wouldnt have liked ur comment ;)
40 year old guy, hitting on a 24 year old woman. That's just wrong, on multiple levels, along with creepy.
To be fair, a lot depends on the 40 year old man you are picturing - Picture Will Smith 10 years ago picking up a 24 year old - doesn't seem so weird right? But if you picture a slightly overweight man with a dad-beard hitting on a young sorority girl (which is what people normally picture) then it just feels wrong.
I know 40 year old men who can pull 24 year old women. Being 40 doesn't mean you can't be handsome and charming. Honestly, I'd say its the opposite. Imagine a guy with loads of life experience, a successful career, and in good shape. That much higher up the totem pole than a 25 year old idiot who is working at starbucks while trying to get a philosophy degree.
You must be 24 😆
@@Fishdogpigsquirrel you are absolutely correct. In fact, the examples you provide are why dads from other cultures actually prefer that their daughters get hitched with the older established settled mature man
@@troyjohnson9123 No, I'm the 40 something year old.
Shiity asf
torreslalo20 It’s about as shit as your name..figure that one out on your own