I love how 29 year old Kristin today looks younger than 19 year old Kristin 😅😂 Maybe it's the glasses but maybe it's also the ghostly filter of this spectral being, which is aggressively trying to tell me that I'm not over my ex yet 😂(despite not having an ex 🤔) Imagine meeting this version of Kristin in a haunted house 😱😂 Great video as always Kristin 😊
As an INTP, I can attest that even us introverted, not-always-in-touch-with-our-feelings types, definitely need at least one good confidant, someone they feel really comfortable letting it all hang out with. Being overly emotional or talking about what’s going on inside might be painstaking for us, but believe me it’s worth it to have that one friend.
I totally remember that video! I found it when I was unable to get over my ex and was trying to determine if I was truly over her or not. I relied on it daily. 😉
INTP here. Kristin, you are correct. An INTP definitely would not have made a video about ten signs you aren't over your ex, but if I had been somehow forced into making said video it would have been about five seconds long, and been a single shot of me saying, "You still think about them," before taking a sip of coffee. Also I love how kind you are to your former self. That is a skill I have not yet mastered.
Hahaha the coffee is KEY! Rest assured, I have not yet mastered it. I feel like it will always be a work in progress, but I'm human so I figure that's okay!
Happy April Fool's Day, Kristin! I love how you're willing to poke fun at your past self. I can definitely relate to cringing at my old posts/videos all the time! 😂🤣
Is it just me, or is 19 the most blasty teenage year? It seems like it's the year, we get our first spike in confidence and really just lay-out all our major opinions publicly (dispute whatever real flaws, those feelings have). Such a major time for our self-awareness. Fun video Kristen! -an ISFP
This video made me smile, even though I'm watching it at 4:30am instead of going to bed. Random thoughts I had while watching: - It's really interesting seeing how you've changed. Your younger self seems angry (I think most of us are angry when we're 19) which contrasts with how chill and positive you seem now. (I mean... I don't know what you're like off camera. It's possible that you're punching a cat and screaming right now. But you appear chill.) - To me that video feels like an underdeveloped but developing Fi. I went through a similar journey in my mid to late 20s. Fi is my tertiary function (INTJ) and I had to consciously learn in therapy to listen to my emotions (including those pertaining to break-ups) because failing to do so was a major cause of me having a nervous breakdown aged 25. In short... to some people it's not always obvious they're not over someone, especially if you have tertiary or inferior Fi. - Coincidentally, today I found an old photo of myself 10 years ago, when I was 21. I was very different back then. A lot thinner. 21 year old me looked like a broomstick wearing a hat. I never recorded myself back then but sure I'm have old writing, which would have been pure Ni conspiracy theory stuff. - I'm slightly drunk right now so I'm oversharing and rambling. Sorry about that.
@@WolfoxBR Quite possibly! I think it's both an Ni thing (uncomfortable with too many ideas, unlike Ne) plus a Te thing (wanting to control and organise our thoughts for maximum efficiency) so yeah probably.
As a introvert i find it hard to process. Been processing for months but still think of that person everyday and i have break downs daily at the thought of what happened and how they wrote me off. I guess processing is really important in this topic
Well as an INTJ i surpressed all the feelings after my first breakup and i dragged them with me through an entire new relationship which was a clear overcompensation when i look back at it now (ISFJ broke up and i got into a relationship with an ESTP). It was extremely unhealthy and those feelings managed to break through again and again throughout this second relationship (in form of impulsive anger and overwhelming sadness) until i pretty much was forced to process it after a „big bang“. But im married now with an INFJ (who helped me with processing)
You talking about John Mayer made me think about how awesome it would be to see mbti content from you that has to do with artists, specifically singers! Something like analyzing what their mbti is based on their lyrics and music. I would love to see this! :)
The song you used of mine (which is around 4:30-7:30, for those intrigued) is interestingly placed with this content. I'd shied away from a full '80s-sounding song before it, because that sound reminds me too much of childhood ennui - the decade's sound is as cold as what being an autistic only child (with parents who found their own emotions cumbersome) was like. It's the sound of car rides when you have no physical agency. But with the song, I decided to take those sounds and make every possible choice a warm, comforting one. So it's a partial rewriting of my past - a choice to separate the sounds and the life I know them from. Thank you for sharing. And for figuring out how to let the Ti/Fe users in.
In response to your question about if non-Fi users are less aware of if they are over someone: yep. I’m an INFJ, and both me and my INFJ best friend take several months to decide if we even have a crush on someone in the first place. Once we know we do, it’s hard for us to know when we have lost feelings. For example, my friend ended up dating for a few months only to realize that the “love“ she felt for her boyfriend was really platonic. She had bought for almost 6 months that it was romantic love before she realized why it felt so awkward to imagine kissing him or saying ‘I love you’. She is now dating someone else who she has actual romantic feelings for, and she’s amazed by the difference that actual romantic feelings make. My ENTP boyfriend has similar difficulty understanding his emotions. He’ll know when something feels off, but it will take him a lot of “calculations“ to figure out what’s wrong (he will have to come up with possibilities of what could be wrong with his Ne and then use Ti to decide if they are accurate). Before we were dating, he struggled with deciding if he was over his ex for several years. So honestly I think it’s normal for Fe users to be unaware of how they feel, especially in romantic relationships. This is probably (among other reasons) because the nature of extroverted feeling is very “open“ emotionally, and sometimes we mistake those “open” emotions for romantic love, if that makes sense. Hope this helps :)
Yeah, I'm an INFJ and I was in a relationship with someone for 8 YEARS before I had the self-realization and courage to break up with him because it wasn't romantic. The last few years I mostly knew, I just didn't want to hurt him. That darn Fe!
Random reactions: - I see the Typing Teas list is still there. We're waiting for the rest, kristin. You can do it! - age reveal! (sorry if it showed up anywhere else and I missed it. Hey, inferior Se, it's not my fault!) - the "you deserve better" part in the first fi-day moment... I always need to remind myself of that. I mean, I objectively know that, but my instinctive emotional reaction is always "I wasn't good enough; I'll never be good enough". - 19 year old kristin is kind of intimidating there. And I don't mean in an "ESFP through the eyes of an INTJ" way. Lots of Te. Interesting. - The "no no no no no no, no no, no" parts are cute. Very kristin. - John Mayer reference. Because of course. - Hmmmm, a lot of things there were oddly specific. I don't think you were ok there, kristin, but good to know you're ok now. - kristin has obviously grown and matured a lot. I'm proud of you, kristin. - I tend to be kind to my past self (selves?). But I need to learn to be kinder to my present self. - Wait. When I was 19, kristin was a blastocyst. I feel old.
I think it's a very human thing to struggle with loving ourselves, both past and present. But it's an important journey in all its stages. Glad at least that we're not alone in it. :)
Yes, you’re clearly projecting yourself in that video. It’s fun to reflect back on ourselves. I know I’ve grown a lot as a person in the last ten years. Thirteen year old me and twenty-three year old me are two very different people.
Yay! Thanks for sharing this video. Accepting our own imperfections is so hard, especially when it's out there in the open, for everyone to see. That's why I have a lot of respect for creators. Especially those who are willing show themselves being imperfect, those who admit their mistakes. It takes a lot of courage and humility to be able to show up to the world as you are, and to give it your all, and risk being told that your all is not good enough. It's hard to create and realize that it's not as good as you envisioned it, that you're not as good as you thought you were, and then still let other people see it anyways. I really hope to be like this one day. Thanks for paving the way, and concretely showing us how it can be done. That's what true self-esteem is to me. Not being like 'oh I'm so great' but being like 'great or not, I stand by my side. '
Hey Kristin! Happy April Fools day! Despite the holiday, the following is all true: I just wanted to share that you helped me discover something about myself recently. I'm ashamed to admit that I still don't know much about MBTI even though I watch a lot of your videos, but one thing I do know is that, when I took the MBTI test, I got INFJ. I hear that that's a meme around here, to claim you're an INFJ, but it at least appears to be true in my case. Anyway, I got an illness a while back that limited my capabilities, and ever since then I've been very angry at myself. I didn't know why I was so angry at myself until I watched a recent video of yours. One of your INFJ characters was talking about not meeting her ideals, or something like that, and I realized that that's what I was angry at myself for. Apparently, as an INFJ, I have high ideals for myself, and this illness has made me reach far short of what those ideals are. The funny thing is, God was telling me to not be so mad at myself for this just before I made this realization, so I'm trying not to be as angry at myself for this anymore. So, I just wanted to thank you for making these videos and share how you helped me understand myself more, and one of these days I'm going to hunker down and really spend some time figuring out MBTI.
Thank you for taking the time to write this comment! It makes me so happy to know my videos have helped you in some way! And good on you for being open to such realisations. :)
@@dearkristin You're very welcome! I'm glad it made you happy. I was hoping reading how you helped me would encourage you. :) I'm looking forward to you helping me even more as I learn more about MBTI.
I know right?! One of the many ways I tried to compensate for the fact that people kept branding me as "a child" and "silly". I have embraced these qualities now. 😆
"NOooooooo, I like to think I was better than that" Relatable when I looked old posts on social media, but I think during the time it was probably normal 5:05
One further comment, Kristin. I had a distinct feeling you were trying to right what you feel was the wrong advice in the video, meaning you really HAD to right the wrong advice here. It was adorable. If someone has a problem with 19 year old Kristin, they just don't like very young adults. You were normal. At 19, opinions change fast and often while you are learning about the world.
KRISTIN I'm so proud you used one of my FAV Spongebob reaction images HAHA (seductive mailman). (also, I think it's so great that you're a Christian TH-camr! Love it!) - - - - My relationship junk that's longer than it needs to be: - I (an male ENFP) have been struggling with a breakup for abt 3 months. I met her (INTJ) because we're both preaching the Gospel at the college we go to. We were infatuated with one another at first sight and after two months she decided she didn't want to pursue a relationship anymore and did the classic INTJ crushing-her-emotions-into-dust-in-the-palm-of-her-hand. Then she fell back in love with an old boyfriend of hers who lives halfway across the US. I get to see her once a week and pretend to be totally okay when I'm still very not okay, lol. I miss her dearly. But we still strong in the Lord.
Gosh, I'm so sorry to hear this, Erik! This must have been very hard for you. It is still very fresh but I have no doubt that as time goes on, you will heal. Thanks for sharing. 😊
If I see a video like this, I usually assume it’s more for the person who made it. Like they’re verbally working through their feelings...on camera...for the internet to see. I’d watch it to get insight as to how the person is processing everything, and maybe leave a helpful comment if need be. But I definitely wouldn’t watch that kind of video thinking it’ll actually be useful for me personally.
One of the best. I was thinking a lot of feelings being unloaded, then at the last moment you broke it all down. I wish, I could go back & tell a way younger self of me so much. "But you know time & space rules." I know I have been hurt by past relationships & the worst thing I have done is just shut down & close off. A decade later I decided to started figure out things. I am better than what I told I am. The 1 thing good about an INTP, I feel better alone, but not always. Great video!
I love how you send your past self so much love. I still struggle with that, and I am 35. As an SE dom myself I been through a lot of ups and downs. I will definitely try to be kinder to my past self and be a bit proud of that I have been a person who have jumped into things before thinking and feeling, because that meant that I learned a lot - sometimes the hard way, but now I have so much experience to learn from❤️
isfp. i learned a lot watching this video but i couldn't ignore how beautiful you are. lowkey my rolemodel. as for my breakup story: i loved the john mayer lyrics you put up. it's so true that after getting let down a few times, you realize that there are things you simply can't give away anymore for anyone, no matter how fun they are. it took me three months upon meeting an online friend in person for it to escalate romantically, but now it takes years for me to even let myself get to that point with anybody. i've learned the hardway how important it is to have a genuine friendship with the person. how important it is to be able to talk to them about anything, more important than liking then physically. as a sensor i put so much stock on appearances. physical looks or how someone is presenting themselves or the face value of what they're saying. i learned to use my imagination and empathy a little bit to see from other people's pov's in a positive way. i think that life is more wonderful after a few heartbreaks, because you realize how resilient you are. i find myself a little bolder when i show someone love knowing that things might not last as much as i hope it will. and i also realize that love doesn't really run out. if you give it away and the person wasted it it's okay, it's going to keep pouring through you. there's a lot to go around for lots of people and lots of things. also love won't always be returned and that's okay, because what you love most about the other person is probably in you anyway..
You're pretty cool for doing a video after covie, as you put it. That takes courage. Hope you're feeling a little better now. I had to watch the video just to support your channel. entp
@@dearkristin Hope your voice comes back soon! The show must go on! lol I say that with a slight amount of humor (humour) since your community loves you and just wants you to feel better soon. I'll say a prayer for you...
Aw, came here for laughs. Left with a lot of lovely insights about break ups (which I just went through). So happy you did this!! Love and relate to both you now and 19 year old Kristin too! ❤️
As someone who is currently going through a break up - ROM COMS ARE STILL THE BEST- I love rom coms and idealising love even if I’m not in a relationship. Have I cried this week while watching rom coms and rewatched heartstopper and also cried to it and also cried at a rom com books and made an entire playlist of break up songs which is SOLEY Taylor swift and also screamed them and cried? Yes. I’m an ENFP- feeling my emotions and being real with people is very important to me. Also daydreaming scenarios with your ex and day dreaming more romance scenarios because the possibilities are endless. Though distraction and being around people is also great 😂 and I want to distract myself it’s my first reaction or to day dream and idealise the future of all the things I Could do. But that Fi needs addressing and I need space and time to do that. Oh and ending the breakup chat with you describing it as if it were the end of a coming of age film and being very dramatic over text (after 4 mins of very rambly voice messages and we were talked about everything- and then said goodbye- then I ended in the most ENFP way ever)
This old video may have been valuable content for some of the 16 year olds I knew as a teen. 🤔 Glad to see how far you've come, and how much you've grown. 😘
10:30 well, I guess I'm somewhat aware of my feelings because I use a part of my surplus Ti capacity to monitor them xD I haven't properly integrated Fi to do it automatically for me yet. -INTP
Very nice video. Also it takes courage to analyze your past self, so kudos to you :) Thank you so much for sharing. At 26:36 in this video you used the German word "Spiel" and pronounced it perfectly. Just out of curiosity do you speak or have you learnt German ? :)
I love the genuine excitement that you get when you’re able to accurately guess what past you was thinking. Haha You really do almost see her as a different person, huh? This felt like a trip down memory lane for me, also. I was in high school at the time, and I remember wanting to make TH-cam videos, and trying (but mostly failing) at doing so. It almost feels like a right of passage for those of us born in the 1990s. I’m glad that you were able to accept your past self instead of just dying of cringe. We’re all imperfect, but that’s what makes us beautiful. Celebrate the growth! 🎉
Really appreciate the video Seeing how much someone can change over time gave me some thoughts. Guess it's not easy to predict how growth will impact someone's personality, it means for all of us there is a hope. Also for those who are not satisfied where they are right now, you're really doing the best you can and know. Being able to forgive yourself and others is truly valuable skill. Thank you for the message Kristin ;)
This was interesting to watch, because my ten-year anniversary on TH-cam is coming up on January 1, 2013, and I hope I'll still be able to look at "The Great Embrace" without too much face-palming. Also, looking forward to our "Return to Comms" the day after my birthday, assuming I did the math correctly!
Happy April Fools Kristin :-) This concept was such a perfect idea for the occasion - it must have been really eye-opening to reflect on how much you've grown! On that note, I was wondering what you meant by "integrating Fi into Se" at 14:55? Thanks so much and keep up the amazing videos xx
Speaking to your Fi/ Fe awareness question as a Ti Dom - I have come to realize only in my mid 20‘s that I‘m not over cutting ties with my childhood best friend. It took me about nine years of denial to reach that conclusion and before that, I was so sure that I did everything right. Or maybe I really was over him and it was only after reassessing the events leading up to me ending our friendship, that I realized that I wasn’t being fair to him and that is what keeps me from moving on now. Like my baby Fe is screaming at me to resolve the conflict that I have identified. I wonder whether that‘s even a type thing though tbh. I think it’s more likely that it’s just personal growth that most people go through as they mature.
I'm Ti dom and have a similar issue with my parents. My experience has been my Ti thinking there's some sort of inconsistency, and then grilling my Si (LOOP TIME!) for some detail I missed that would make everything consistent.
I think it's a natural and good thing to always want to be "fair" to people, but sometimes it's right for that to take a back seat when the other person has treated us with unfairness, and consistently so. The "fair" thing can sometimes be to cut ties on a relationship that was helping neither person. It's right to treat others with fairness, but when that isn't respected by both parties, perhaps you're being unfair to yourself if you stay. I'm sorry you've been struggling with these feelings, but know that humans heal, and there is always hope for forgiveness/redemption in the future should you both reach a point where you are ready.
@@dearkristin thank you so much for your kind words 😊 In my case, I‘m okay with the fact that I ended the friendship. As you said, I found that the constant fights and misunderstandings were bad for my mental health, but the way I did it was unnecessarily brutal and that’s why I‘m not over it. I‘ve been debating whether it would be helpful to apologize, but after almost ten years it might be to late. If he has healed from it, an apology won’t do anything for him except maybe cause anger and resentment because then it would just be about me wanting to clear my conscience. One good thing that resulted from all this, though, is that I‘m (hopefully) being a better and more empathic friend in the present and future so I won’t do the same thing to someone else. That growth also partly resulted from me getting interested in typology. I‘m pretty sure that my childhood best friend is an INFP and our immature Ti/Fi clashed almost every time we saw each other.
For your question in 10:17 As an ISFJ or an INTP (I couldn't figure out my type yet) two and a half years ago I met a guy in my class and I realized that I was tend to be talking about him more often than it should be, so I was like "Okaaaay, it won't gonna work with this guy, you are fairly young and you have lots of problems you need to deal right now, so, nope." and I didn't count him as a crush. Next year we get into separate classes, school became online learning so I didn't see him for almost half and one year. I thought I was completely over him till I saw his name on my "classmates for this year" list. I connected my nervousness to another reason but in a few months I finally accepted. My acceptance moment was like "Enough! We both know you feel different about him. Why you are so persistent? So, let's stop refusing it..." It may not be a good choice to accept him because now I want him...
10:51 not going to lie but everything you did say was spot on for me. Idk how but it was, maybe because I am an ESFP too. I would enjoy such content, mainly because I am kind of slow to actually sit down and evaluate what I am feeling. I usually say what ever and go hangout with my friends who blissfully unaware of badly I am about punch a wall at even the slightest bit of someone not fully loving me
Okay, I love everything about this video. So funny, so wholesome and inspiring. ❤️ I can't believe that I am 10 years older than you and I am not half as wise. 🥲😂 So much sound advice here! I just recently read through my old journals (yep, miraculously, I kept them) and it felt like looking into another world. And at the same time, I could still relate soooo much. The anger and sadness though... 😅 Glad I worked on that!
One of the least told facts about life is that everyone reaches a point where they have enough good and bad memories to dwell on either one forever. We get enough evidence to say we're either great or terrible, agent or victim, for at least the length of a normal conversation. So how we process and move on is the key from keeping new years from being new burdens. I say this as someone who's not good at processing. I just sort of understand the task. :-)
@@restlessmosaic These are very wise words. I personally think too much dwelling can be harmful either way. It's indeed processing, learning and letting go and moving forward that makes us grow. There is always a chance to turn your life for the better, at least in some parts of it. I think there's not one correct way of processing, though, I'd say that looks different for every personality type and human. For some it's through their mind, for some through their emotions - or both!
LOL girl I was listening to those types of videos for ages, only just 2 years ago. It eventually lead me to understanding attachment theory. So, don't feel bad about your video and the way it was presented! It was beneficial to many people I am sure, even today :) ♡
-11? Hell I was around -7, and that was really bad. I got my eyes lasered finally. PRK, results weren't quite perfect (a bit of astigmatism and farsightedness) but I can totally function without correction, even if I need glasses to read comfortably. This is wonderful outside and in the water. It's SO different! Worth it.
Happy April fools day every buddy! Hahaha! Thanks for this! You made my day! I have soooo many old videos that make me cringe 😬 but yet they’re just so funny 😂
I'm an ENTP, and I think I know when I am over/not over someone, BUT 1) I'm not always willing to admit it if I'm not, and 2) I tend to bond to people in a more mental than emotional way. Maybe it's that I can mentally tell when I'm over/not over someone, even if the emotional part is less easy for me to access?
This video was awesome Kristin, great messages:D I love the ability to reflect and look at some memories of yourself in the past that were painful or in a time where you were lost, but then looking at how you persevered through that pain and have become stronger, more vulnerable, and wiser because of it.
As an intj with a sensitive Fi (possibly HSP), there's so much to learn from watching an esfp deal with past issues. After all intj's cognitive functions are the reverse of the esfp's
I'm ESFP- I went through my first heartbreak- we did not even date, but I wanted it to happen so much. He's an INTJ, so if they predict we won't happen, we won't. So I learnt that if it is unrequited instead of chasing them for 8 months, put that emotional energy into something you love and makes you happy, on yourself. I feel like having Fi in second slot and being Se dom, when you genuinely like someone- the feeling makes you feel like infinite, and it takes over your entire existence and I loved that feeling at the same time it being not reciprocated it felt exhausting, and the pain and suffering felt like it will last forever. On the contrary once I connected the dots and things made sense that us won't happen(nope it doesn't make sense how can you predict when we didn't even give us a shot, with such few data) we were not compatible, it took me 3 months to process and think logically we were not compatible after all, even tho my Fi wanted us to happen badly. Processing feelings and getting over someone is so important. Treating someone badly because of unprocessed past bad experience is really bad when you should be gentle with them, cause everyone is different and you'll not always have the same bad experience with everyone. It taught me to being open and cautious at the same time. I hope i made sense. Also, I guess now I know what I'm not looking for in a relationship, and I've started being self aware more.
I love the message that you send about loving your past self. I've recently found out (after some hardcore introspection) that I can't blame myself for choices I made with the tools or thoughts I had back then, as long as I did what I thought was right. That way, I don't regret what I've done or what I've chosen (although the overthinking remains) and I really love my past self for that. However, you can't escape cringe. Luckily, I didn't post much back then🤣 By the way, I would've raised my hand on the facebook stalking thing. The INFJ punchline was right on time bc I felt so related to it, I can't escape the stereotype. That feature on instagram that let you check on their activity, I used it to check if they were online liking posts and figure they were ghosting my messages on purpose, it was an INFJ gold mine. I once told my close friends about it, like "yeah we all did it, right? Totally normal" and I can't forget the look on their faces. Guess I opened up too much, they weren't ready for that 🤣
Thanks for sharing! Glad you've done some healing in the area of loving your past self. It is hugely important, especially if there are traumatic memories involved. You're doing great! 💪
April 1st 2033 (the next April-fools-Fi-day) ... Kristin reacts to this video. Put it on your coloured sticky-note diaries now! ... Interesting how 19 y.o. Kristen covers up the Fi with a Te-style delivery. Maybe she thought it would be punchier or funnier or just do better on the wild west of TH-cam circa 2012?
First video ever.... Kristin is as charismatic and confident as ever. I guess you are really a natural. You were right, tho. You chose the wrong niche, I wouldn't watch that. MBTI tho, now that is something I would watch, if you ever decide to go that route. You know since I am the most valuable viewer, and what I like dictates what has value on the internet... sarcasm ofc.
Min 14:20 “who does this“ - I did this back when I was 16. the boy stopped talking to me so I started befriending all of his male friends. I acutally got really close to them and from age 21-27 we (he and I) actually had "a thing" which was the most toxic interhuman contact I've ever been in… BUT I made my 16yo-self very very proud. Today (I'm 31 now) I'm more than glad that we don't have any contact anymore even though I'm still friends with his old friends :D
I'm around the same age as you, so I was around the same age as you were 10 years ago as well. I could be rather bitter myself in my tone and attitude. I've always had some difficulties with my mental health and life structure and personal relationships, though it's varied between worse or better at times throughout life. In more recent years I've been doing better. I was a very detached INTJ back then, both in the 'real world' and on the internet, I had difficulty forming any close relationships with people (except for some family who I had always had). While I tried not to show my bitterness to people, it still tended to come out a lot in my negative judgments and complaints about various people and things. On the internet in particular, I had a bad habit at times of getting into feuds and always trying to scheme ways to "one-up" my "foes". I didn't really understand my own self or my values, and at times I took things much too far and tended to disappoint myself very much. Through my 20's, I started trying to make more of an effort to change my outlook and my ways. But even this had its difficulties. I remember I started trying to make a lot more effort to try to form genuine connections and friendships with people, but these could go awry, as I often was trying to relate to people who themselves didn't have their values sorted out. So while I've never had a romantic relationship and so no breakups to speak of there, I can relate to the pain of losing friends who were important to me. There was one friend whose memory I was still constantly bothered by for years. I had tried really hard to be a good friend to that person, but there were just things in that person's choices that were out of my control and ultimately could not be reconciled, until it turned very bitter. Sometimes even today the memories of this friend still spring up in bitter recollection. I think there are still a lot of matters here that I never really came to terms with. But things have improved more and more as years ago by. I have found a lot more peace of mind in the last few years. Many things helped, such as committing more to live out my faith in God, forming some better more reliable friendships, working towards solutions in the difficulties in my life and working to reconcile through the dysfunctional issues with family, getting away from negative influences and finding more positive influences, getting more clear foundations for my values, and of course also better understanding how I think about things. That last bit in particular, has been helped a lot by learning more about MBTI and having a better understanding of my natural thought processes and the thought processes of others around me, and it has spared me a lot of the distressing confusion I once held. Overall, I have seen a very big, positive difference in the mindset I have now compared to 10 years ago or even 5 years ago. And I believe I will continue to see good things come about in life!
@@dearkristin Also I just wanted to clarify, as I somewhat misphrased my first sentence (though I have edited it now), when I said I was the same age as you 10 years ago, I meant I was also around 19 at that time. I was trying to draw a parallel in the contrasting yet vaguely similar journeys of the ESFP and INTJ! Though the way I initially phrased it may have seemed that I was saying I was 29 back then, which kind of throws off the parallel I meant to convey. I suppose that's an example of how my Ni can jump between those kinds of abstract associations but miss the more concrete precision of the proper wording that an ISTJ might be more mindful of. Anyway, I digress!
Heart break healed my broken relationship with myself. It took away my shame and gave me humility and respect for myself. It made me apologize, accept and love myself. I heard that you can't be addicted to someone if your happy or content with yourself (art of seduction). Also rats addicted to herion/cocaine? (Not sure which one) stop being addicted when you put em in rat heavan ( other rats, plenty of food and stimulus, like a wheel or some toys) . which if true could mean a lack of joy possibly cuz of a disconnect from urself and what you kno to enjoy or a lack of diversity in ur sources. Idk.. What helped me to move on is just forgiveness and working towards my goals.. ✌
I think it might be an F thing to be very aware of when they still aren’t over someone, I’ve seen both Te and Ti types be in denial about not yet being over someone else (literally saying “I’m over him/her” and having a huge break down just a few days later over that person they’re supposedly over).
I love how your energy was over the top back then... aaaand it's still over the top in your comedy videos, so... XD XD But physically you didn't change much! You were gorgeous back then and you are still nowadays! What I liked the most it's your (present) message at the end about loving not only your present self, but also your past self! It's kind of hard sometimes to forgive you some mistakes, especially when other people were involved in them. That's why I can relate to videogame Nioh 2's depiction of Kinoshita Toukichirou (later known as Toyotomi Hideyoshi) about losing your best self and redeeming at the end; and my soon-to-be-published book protagonist, although based on an historical one of my country, also gets through a similar journey of being a hero, then being a jerk, and lastly saving his own soul :3 I think if you were an ENFP, the video could have turned similar (we have common Fi-Te after all), especially with the energy being over the top, although the examples may have been... wackier and not so realistic or concrete (ENFP's Ne vrs ESFP's Se). This was a heartwarming video! n.n
I think your brothers are just enjoying harassing you bc you feel embarrassed. This isn’t so bad. The video editing is bad ofc but you’re still you. It’s easy to cringe at yourself, but you’re still the passionate, theatrical ESFP you were 10 years ago (in a good way). Today’s my birthday btw and I’m 20. Thanks for the upload! :D
Ah. Well I’m not meaning you haven’t grown! You’re more beautiful and serene now, and you’re videos are much better. In other things I wouldn’t know bc I don’t know you like that. I just meant to say to not worry-you’re alright.
Late and short comment, still sick, but oh well. On the other hand I hope you're feeling better! 11:45, that lil' sneaky unpack will happen, regardless of if I'm coughing up my lungs. I might not make it through, but it will happen. Lovely messages throughout! Cringing at the past is for dweebs, pride in having grown is where it's at :) As always, you're doing great, my only critique is for not using a rainbow-filter throughout the entire video. Going to sleep now for another week. -Moobles
11:00 Absolutely! I'm an ENFP and I had one relationship in my life, and whenever I was having an emotional mess, I would always turn to this type of content. It's an easy and fast solution because usually they do help me. But sometimes they were making me more emotional though 😢😂 And I'm not sure, but maybe I benefit from this type of content because it is made by other Fi users?? Because I always feel understood when watching the videos. And it is certainly beneficial because during break-ups or high intense romantic situation, because there is just no place for thinking objectively at that time😂🤦♂ So, that's why the output from outside becomes very valuable. Emotions just take over (God, I hate those times. Especially when I do stuff that I regret later) And if I watched this 19-year-old Kristin's video, it could have been absolutely helpful at that time. And I don't think you were angry at the time ... rather caring. Maybe you went through this situation, and you noticed that you were not over your ex yet and wanted to help people from your experience. Perhaps at the time of making the video you weren't over someone yet and you were just trying to convey a message to your ex that I'm over you 😂😂 I don't know.
That old video pretty much sums up my current situation right now after 4 years of trying to getting over my crush :") Cause I'm staring at all these photographs, I guess the good thing ain't meant to last, I gave her forever she gave a month, I've never fallen for anyone and now I'm looking at the ceiling wondering just what she's feeling now, If that's what love's about, then I'm so good without; I guess Mimi Webb was right about it all along 😭🤧
What I keep noticing here is that 19 yo you has the "Te" voice you use for ENTJs and ESTJs. In retrospect, current you has the ENFJ/ESFP (the second one obviously) voice, I'm saying the Fe voice. Seems interesting!
Interesting and true! I like to think I didn't actually talk like this in life, but I do thing the Te tone was much more prominent then, given that I have since taken active steps to tone it down. I have certainly learned a lot more about being outwardly sensitive and empathic. This has just come with years of more healthy relationships, I would say!
Coming back to this video everytime I realise I am not over her, mainly because the advice makes me have a new realisation every time (beauty of being an Ne-Fi user is that I make new connections every time which in this sense often link to internal realisations) . After a talk with my INFP friend last night I realised it was actually time to let go, I deleted her phone number and unfollowed most of her social media. She’d already deleted me on some and because it has to be mutual it immediately ditched her on mine, Regret not doing it first Because I would have had the satisfaction of doing it first.
Got broken up with about 2 hours ago, so thought I’d come and rewatch this. As an Fi user, I need to process before moving on, while simultaneously Falling in my Ne (which is dominant so it’s going to win 99% of the time) which finds all the good things that can come of this, making a Taylor swift playlist and screaming the lyrics. Also even on the phone call when they did it I was just there like “hey at least I can listen to the all too well 10 min version and cry. Ooh and enchanted, and MINE” and then went to “ooh I’m going on a cruise in a few weeks, might end up having a cute holiday romance. “ but did have the fi moment of “I am upset, but harbour no ill emotions towards you and also would still love to be friends because I care about you”. And yes I have already channeled emotions into poetry. It’s my first breakup, and so it’s new territory to me- but being open and processing it and acknowledging emotions is so important for me as an Fi user. But also prioritising other friendships and relationships, like i am meeting a friend for coffee tomorrow, with friends on Tuesday, at school the rest of the week so probably Also going to take every opportunity to be around people. That being said it’s a balance between Ne wanting to use this as an opportunity I guess for new adventures and things that can come from being single and wanting distraction and to play, while simultaneously wanting to process and be true to how I’m feeling about it (and yet not wanting to feel hurt because that is painful). Because Fi is second slot, I need to nurture it to be fulfilled and truly happy, but sometimes it can suck to feel bad emotions and I have a tendency to switch Fi off and fall into a loop. Also 16P’s after a breakup?!
@@restlessmosaic honestly learning mbti and typology has helped me understand some of my own processes and emotional needs a lot better, as well as being very interested in self improvement. I’m also very interested in psychology in general
Answering to question in minute 10: I think being very aware of ur own feelings, and knowing when ur over someone, is specifically a very FP thing because is related to Fi. As an Fe dominant, I'm feeling but sometimes it's hard to know those things. Although, weirdly enough, I find it easier to know I'm over someone than to know whether I like someone or not. Don't know why this is Signed: ENFJ
Fellow ENFJ, and I get what you mean. I broke up with my first gf 5 years ago, and it took me until last month to finally acknowledge I still had feelings for her.
This INFJ doesn't have five people I check on, but I did text ex's mom on her birthday... And I totally did a glow up in case I ran into my ex. But it paid off in my case. So, I would have related to 19 yo Kristen.
I can't share any feelings about relationships on here. Being an INFJ and the fact it would be anonymous,, it would be a book and you'd soon have my whole life written down on the post. I'll save people skipping over all of that!
You might be embarrassed by 19 year old Kristin, but I like her and I'm rooting for her! I think she'll turn out just fine. :) Edit: Spoilers! Just got to the end of the video. I'm glad that you came to appreciate 19 old Kristin at the end. She's a good egg.
I love how 29 year old Kristin today looks younger than 19 year old Kristin 😅😂 Maybe it's the glasses but maybe it's also the ghostly filter of this spectral being, which is aggressively trying to tell me that I'm not over my ex yet 😂(despite not having an ex 🤔) Imagine meeting this version of Kristin in a haunted house 😱😂 Great video as always Kristin 😊
Kristin Button.
The virtuous tend to age in reverse
Yeah I am an INFP, and I love Kristin!!
I look forward to the ultra-meta analysis of this video in ten years.
As an INTP, I can attest that even us introverted, not-always-in-touch-with-our-feelings types, definitely need at least one good confidant, someone they feel really comfortable letting it all hang out with. Being overly emotional or talking about what’s going on inside might be painstaking for us, but believe me it’s worth it to have that one friend.
Yeap true.
From another INTP
Edit: or INFP. I'm not sure.. really
100%! Thanks for sharing 😊
Yes, but only one!
'Wouldn't have made the video if I were an INTP. Almost guaranteed'
Correct. You can't have an ex if you never get a date in the first place.
I *may* be one, and was a few years behind, but she had to make the first move
ohmagosh I'm not alone in being... That alone😂
Does a close friend of the op gender count?😉
I totally remember that video! I found it when I was unable to get over my ex and was trying to determine if I was truly over her or not. I relied on it daily. 😉
Bahahaha!
INTP here. Kristin, you are correct. An INTP definitely would not have made a video about ten signs you aren't over your ex, but if I had been somehow forced into making said video it would have been about five seconds long, and been a single shot of me saying, "You still think about them," before taking a sip of coffee.
Also I love how kind you are to your former self. That is a skill I have not yet mastered.
Hahaha the coffee is KEY!
Rest assured, I have not yet mastered it. I feel like it will always be a work in progress, but I'm human so I figure that's okay!
Happy April Fool's Day, Kristin! I love how you're willing to poke fun at your past self. I can definitely relate to cringing at my old posts/videos all the time! 😂🤣
Is it just me, or is 19 the most blasty teenage year? It seems like it's the year, we get our first spike in confidence and really just lay-out all our major opinions publicly (dispute whatever real flaws, those feelings have). Such a major time for our self-awareness. Fun video Kristen! -an ISFP
accepting my past self has helped me accept others - which helps me have better relationships! Thank you Kristin
I'm glad! 😊
This video made me smile, even though I'm watching it at 4:30am instead of going to bed.
Random thoughts I had while watching:
- It's really interesting seeing how you've changed. Your younger self seems angry (I think most of us are angry when we're 19) which contrasts with how chill and positive you seem now. (I mean... I don't know what you're like off camera. It's possible that you're punching a cat and screaming right now. But you appear chill.)
- To me that video feels like an underdeveloped but developing Fi. I went through a similar journey in my mid to late 20s. Fi is my tertiary function (INTJ) and I had to consciously learn in therapy to listen to my emotions (including those pertaining to break-ups) because failing to do so was a major cause of me having a nervous breakdown aged 25. In short... to some people it's not always obvious they're not over someone, especially if you have tertiary or inferior Fi.
- Coincidentally, today I found an old photo of myself 10 years ago, when I was 21. I was very different back then. A lot thinner. 21 year old me looked like a broomstick wearing a hat. I never recorded myself back then but sure I'm have old writing, which would have been pure Ni conspiracy theory stuff.
- I'm slightly drunk right now so I'm oversharing and rambling. Sorry about that.
I'm now wondering if posting random thoughts collected while watching is an INTJ thing, because I just did the same. Hmmm.
@@WolfoxBR Quite possibly! I think it's both an Ni thing (uncomfortable with too many ideas, unlike Ne) plus a Te thing (wanting to control and organise our thoughts for maximum efficiency) so yeah probably.
Thanks for the comment! I think there is no question that I was in denial about some things in this video. 😆
INTJ drunk ramble better than the average college student essay :o
@@driftingpaperboat You should see the INTJ drunk college essay...
As a introvert i find it hard to process. Been processing for months but still think of that person everyday and i have break downs daily at the thought of what happened and how they wrote me off. I guess processing is really important in this topic
Well as an INTJ i surpressed all the feelings after my first breakup and i dragged them with me through an entire new relationship which was a clear overcompensation when i look back at it now (ISFJ broke up and i got into a relationship with an ESTP). It was extremely unhealthy and those feelings managed to break through again and again throughout this second relationship (in form of impulsive anger and overwhelming sadness) until i pretty much was forced to process it after a „big bang“. But im married now with an INFJ (who helped me with processing)
Thanks for sharing. I feel this is a universal human experience. Glad you were able to process in a healthy way!
You talking about John Mayer made me think about how awesome it would be to see mbti content from you that has to do with artists, specifically singers! Something like analyzing what their mbti is based on their lyrics and music. I would love to see this! :)
She's on a recent Joyce Meng panel as a singer in her own right - does that count?
The song you used of mine (which is around 4:30-7:30, for those intrigued) is interestingly placed with this content. I'd shied away from a full '80s-sounding song before it, because that sound reminds me too much of childhood ennui - the decade's sound is as cold as what being an autistic only child (with parents who found their own emotions cumbersome) was like. It's the sound of car rides when you have no physical agency.
But with the song, I decided to take those sounds and make every possible choice a warm, comforting one. So it's a partial rewriting of my past - a choice to separate the sounds and the life I know them from.
Thank you for sharing. And for figuring out how to let the Ti/Fe users in.
Wow !! this comment is gold ✨️ Both from an Fi introspective retrospective standpoint and as an inside look at the artistic process 🙏🏻😎
I really like this song, Brandon 😍
In response to your question about if non-Fi users are less aware of if they are over someone: yep.
I’m an INFJ, and both me and my INFJ best friend take several months to decide if we even have a crush on someone in the first place. Once we know we do, it’s hard for us to know when we have lost feelings.
For example, my friend ended up dating for a few months only to realize that the “love“ she felt for her boyfriend was really platonic. She had bought for almost 6 months that it was romantic love before she realized why it felt so awkward to imagine kissing him or saying ‘I love you’. She is now dating someone else who she has actual romantic feelings for, and she’s amazed by the difference that actual romantic feelings make.
My ENTP boyfriend has similar difficulty understanding his emotions. He’ll know when something feels off, but it will take him a lot of “calculations“ to figure out what’s wrong (he will have to come up with possibilities of what could be wrong with his Ne and then use Ti to decide if they are accurate). Before we were dating, he struggled with deciding if he was over his ex for several years.
So honestly I think it’s normal for Fe users to be unaware of how they feel, especially in romantic relationships. This is probably (among other reasons) because the nature of extroverted feeling is very “open“ emotionally, and sometimes we mistake those “open” emotions for romantic love, if that makes sense. Hope this helps :)
I relate to this so hard
~INFJ
Commenting here so I can hopefully look back on this comment too
Very interesting! Thanks for sharing
Yup yup yup! That's me! Oh god. 😱😅😂
Yeah, I'm an INFJ and I was in a relationship with someone for 8 YEARS before I had the self-realization and courage to break up with him because it wasn't romantic. The last few years I mostly knew, I just didn't want to hurt him. That darn Fe!
Generic encouragement. I love that.
Love the messages. And rainbow filter
Random reactions:
- I see the Typing Teas list is still there. We're waiting for the rest, kristin. You can do it!
- age reveal! (sorry if it showed up anywhere else and I missed it. Hey, inferior Se, it's not my fault!)
- the "you deserve better" part in the first fi-day moment... I always need to remind myself of that. I mean, I objectively know that, but my instinctive emotional reaction is always "I wasn't good enough; I'll never be good enough".
- 19 year old kristin is kind of intimidating there. And I don't mean in an "ESFP through the eyes of an INTJ" way. Lots of Te. Interesting.
- The "no no no no no no, no no, no" parts are cute. Very kristin.
- John Mayer reference. Because of course.
- Hmmmm, a lot of things there were oddly specific. I don't think you were ok there, kristin, but good to know you're ok now.
- kristin has obviously grown and matured a lot. I'm proud of you, kristin.
- I tend to be kind to my past self (selves?). But I need to learn to be kinder to my present self.
- Wait. When I was 19, kristin was a blastocyst. I feel old.
I think it's a very human thing to struggle with loving ourselves, both past and present. But it's an important journey in all its stages. Glad at least that we're not alone in it. :)
Yes, you’re clearly projecting yourself in that video. It’s fun to reflect back on ourselves. I know I’ve grown a lot as a person in the last ten years. Thirteen year old me and twenty-three year old me are two very different people.
Yay! Thanks for sharing this video. Accepting our own imperfections is so hard, especially when it's out there in the open, for everyone to see. That's why I have a lot of respect for creators. Especially those who are willing show themselves being imperfect, those who admit their mistakes. It takes a lot of courage and humility to be able to show up to the world as you are, and to give it your all, and risk being told that your all is not good enough. It's hard to create and realize that it's not as good as you envisioned it, that you're not as good as you thought you were, and then still let other people see it anyways. I really hope to be like this one day. Thanks for paving the way, and concretely showing us how it can be done. That's what true self-esteem is to me. Not being like 'oh I'm so great' but being like 'great or not, I stand by my side. '
100% 🙌
Hey Kristin! Happy April Fools day! Despite the holiday, the following is all true:
I just wanted to share that you helped me discover something about myself recently. I'm ashamed to admit that I still don't know much about MBTI even though I watch a lot of your videos, but one thing I do know is that, when I took the MBTI test, I got INFJ. I hear that that's a meme around here, to claim you're an INFJ, but it at least appears to be true in my case.
Anyway, I got an illness a while back that limited my capabilities, and ever since then I've been very angry at myself. I didn't know why I was so angry at myself until I watched a recent video of yours.
One of your INFJ characters was talking about not meeting her ideals, or something like that, and I realized that that's what I was angry at myself for. Apparently, as an INFJ, I have high ideals for myself, and this illness has made me reach far short of what those ideals are.
The funny thing is, God was telling me to not be so mad at myself for this just before I made this realization, so I'm trying not to be as angry at myself for this anymore. So, I just wanted to thank you for making these videos and share how you helped me understand myself more, and one of these days I'm going to hunker down and really spend some time figuring out MBTI.
Thank you for taking the time to write this comment! It makes me so happy to know my videos have helped you in some way! And good on you for being open to such realisations. :)
@@dearkristin You're very welcome! I'm glad it made you happy. I was hoping reading how you helped me would encourage you. :) I'm looking forward to you helping me even more as I learn more about MBTI.
You were so serioussssssss! And the SASS! This was gold. Thank you for sharing it
I know right?! One of the many ways I tried to compensate for the fact that people kept branding me as "a child" and "silly". I have embraced these qualities now. 😆
"NOooooooo, I like to think I was better than that"
Relatable when I looked old posts on social media, but I think during the time it was probably normal
5:05
Fe here. (INFJ) Still appreciate bluntness. Kinda prefer it most of the time actually. It's more real:) Thanks for this!
You're a good sport, Kristin. Good on you. Looking forward to your video in 10 years when you're reacting to your MBTI videos.
Good idea! 👍
One further comment, Kristin. I had a distinct feeling you were trying to right what you feel was the wrong advice in the video, meaning you really HAD to right the wrong advice here. It was adorable. If someone has a problem with 19 year old Kristin, they just don't like very young adults. You were normal. At 19, opinions change fast and often while you are learning about the world.
Loved the roast and analysis of your past-self. Glad you are feeling better too. You will have amazing immunity going forward.
KRISTIN I'm so proud you used one of my FAV Spongebob reaction images HAHA (seductive mailman). (also, I think it's so great that you're a Christian TH-camr! Love it!)
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My relationship junk that's longer than it needs to be:
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I (an male ENFP) have been struggling with a breakup for abt 3 months. I met her (INTJ) because we're both preaching the Gospel at the college we go to. We were infatuated with one another at first sight and after two months she decided she didn't want to pursue a relationship anymore and did the classic INTJ crushing-her-emotions-into-dust-in-the-palm-of-her-hand. Then she fell back in love with an old boyfriend of hers who lives halfway across the US. I get to see her once a week and pretend to be totally okay when I'm still very not okay, lol. I miss her dearly. But we still strong in the Lord.
Gosh, I'm so sorry to hear this, Erik! This must have been very hard for you. It is still very fresh but I have no doubt that as time goes on, you will heal. Thanks for sharing. 😊
If I see a video like this, I usually assume it’s more for the person who made it. Like they’re verbally working through their feelings...on camera...for the internet to see. I’d watch it to get insight as to how the person is processing everything, and maybe leave a helpful comment if need be. But I definitely wouldn’t watch that kind of video thinking it’ll actually be useful for me personally.
One of the best. I was thinking a lot of feelings being unloaded, then at the last moment you broke it all down. I wish, I could go back & tell a way younger self of me so much. "But you know time & space rules." I know I have been hurt by past relationships & the worst thing I have done is just shut down & close off. A decade later I decided to started figure out things. I am better than what I told I am. The 1 thing good about an INTP, I feel better alone, but not always. Great video!
I love how you send your past self so much love. I still struggle with that, and I am 35. As an SE dom myself I been through a lot of ups and downs. I will definitely try to be kinder to my past self and be a bit proud of that I have been a person who have jumped into things before thinking and feeling, because that meant that I learned a lot - sometimes the hard way, but now I have so much experience to learn from❤️
Lots of hugs to both 19 yr old you, and you now 🤗🤗🤗🤗
isfp. i learned a lot watching this video but i couldn't ignore how beautiful you are. lowkey my rolemodel.
as for my breakup story: i loved the john mayer lyrics you put up. it's so true that after getting let down a few times, you realize that there are things you simply can't give away anymore for anyone, no matter how fun they are. it took me three months upon meeting an online friend in person for it to escalate romantically, but now it takes years for me to even let myself get to that point with anybody. i've learned the hardway how important it is to have a genuine friendship with the person. how important it is to be able to talk to them about anything, more important than liking then physically. as a sensor i put so much stock on appearances. physical looks or how someone is presenting themselves or the face value of what they're saying. i learned to use my imagination and empathy a little bit to see from other people's pov's in a positive way. i think that life is more wonderful after a few heartbreaks, because you realize how resilient you are. i find myself a little bolder when i show someone love knowing that things might not last as much as i hope it will. and i also realize that love doesn't really run out. if you give it away and the person wasted it it's okay, it's going to keep pouring through you. there's a lot to go around for lots of people and lots of things. also love won't always be returned and that's okay, because what you love most about the other person is probably in you anyway..
You're pretty cool for doing a video after covie, as you put it. That takes courage. Hope you're feeling a little better now. I had to watch the video just to support your channel. entp
Thanks! I filmed this before covie. Still don't have a voice!
@@dearkristin Hope your voice comes back soon! The show must go on! lol I say that with a slight amount of humor (humour) since your community loves you and just wants you to feel better soon. I'll say a prayer for you...
Aw, came here for laughs. Left with a lot of lovely insights about break ups (which I just went through). So happy you did this!! Love and relate to both you now and 19 year old Kristin too! ❤️
Sorry to hear about your breakup! I'm sure things are rough right now, but you will heal and emerge stronger 💪
@@dearkristin yes!! No doubt :) thank you!!
As someone who is currently going through a break up - ROM COMS ARE STILL THE BEST- I love rom coms and idealising love even if I’m not in a relationship. Have I cried this week while watching rom coms and rewatched heartstopper and also cried to it and also cried at a rom com books and made an entire playlist of break up songs which is SOLEY Taylor swift and also screamed them and cried? Yes. I’m an ENFP- feeling my emotions and being real with people is very important to me. Also daydreaming scenarios with your ex and day dreaming more romance scenarios because the possibilities are endless.
Though distraction and being around people is also great 😂 and I want to distract myself it’s my first reaction or to day dream and idealise the future of all the things I Could do. But that Fi needs addressing and I need space and time to do that.
Oh and ending the breakup chat with you describing it as if it were the end of a coming of age film and being very dramatic over text (after 4 mins of very rambly voice messages and we were talked about everything- and then said goodbye- then I ended in the most ENFP way ever)
This old video may have been valuable content for some of the 16 year olds I knew as a teen. 🤔
Glad to see how far you've come, and how much you've grown. 😘
That filter is... powerful!
I find myself doing the finger steeple at 11:47 every time I think of the word "unpack" now.
Hahaha. The way it should be!!!
10:30 well, I guess I'm somewhat aware of my feelings because I use a part of my surplus Ti capacity to monitor them xD I haven't properly integrated Fi to do it automatically for me yet.
-INTP
Very nice video. Also it takes courage to analyze your past self, so kudos to you :) Thank you so much for sharing. At 26:36 in this video you used the German word "Spiel" and pronounced it perfectly. Just out of curiosity do you speak or have you learnt German ? :)
Thanks 😊 I have not; I think it's just a word I have heard many times!
So happy to see you being yourself despite Covie. Awesome, Kristin😊
I know it's an old video, but I really have to say this - you didn't age at all, you now look just as young as when you were 19, it's amazing!
Woah, never pause The Notebook. Crush your friend's spirit; if she dies, she dies.
That would be like pausing Grave of the Fireflies just because one of your friends recently lost their little sister.
😅 😅 😅 😅
@@dearkristin I don't know why people say my sense of humor is mean
I love the genuine excitement that you get when you’re able to accurately guess what past you was thinking. Haha You really do almost see her as a different person, huh?
This felt like a trip down memory lane for me, also. I was in high school at the time, and I remember wanting to make TH-cam videos, and trying (but mostly failing) at doing so. It almost feels like a right of passage for those of us born in the 1990s.
I’m glad that you were able to accept your past self instead of just dying of cringe. We’re all imperfect, but that’s what makes us beautiful. Celebrate the growth! 🎉
Really appreciate the video
Seeing how much someone can change over time gave me some thoughts. Guess it's not easy to predict how growth will impact someone's personality, it means for all of us there is a hope.
Also for those who are not satisfied where they are right now, you're really doing the best you can and know. Being able to forgive yourself and others is truly valuable skill.
Thank you for the message Kristin ;)
The guy who dumped her watching her videos now
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"😱😱😱
This was interesting to watch, because my ten-year anniversary on TH-cam is coming up on January 1, 2013, and I hope I'll still be able to look at "The Great Embrace" without too much face-palming.
Also, looking forward to our "Return to Comms" the day after my birthday, assuming I did the math correctly!
Happy April Fools Kristin :-) This concept was such a perfect idea for the occasion - it must have been really eye-opening to reflect on how much you've grown! On that note, I was wondering what you meant by "integrating Fi into Se" at 14:55? Thanks so much and keep up the amazing videos xx
Speaking to your Fi/ Fe awareness question as a Ti Dom - I have come to realize only in my mid 20‘s that I‘m not over cutting ties with my childhood best friend. It took me about nine years of denial to reach that conclusion and before that, I was so sure that I did everything right. Or maybe I really was over him and it was only after reassessing the events leading up to me ending our friendship, that I realized that I wasn’t being fair to him and that is what keeps me from moving on now. Like my baby Fe is screaming at me to resolve the conflict that I have identified.
I wonder whether that‘s even a type thing though tbh. I think it’s more likely that it’s just personal growth that most people go through as they mature.
I'm Ti dom and have a similar issue with my parents. My experience has been my Ti thinking there's some sort of inconsistency, and then grilling my Si (LOOP TIME!) for some detail I missed that would make everything consistent.
I think it's a natural and good thing to always want to be "fair" to people, but sometimes it's right for that to take a back seat when the other person has treated us with unfairness, and consistently so. The "fair" thing can sometimes be to cut ties on a relationship that was helping neither person. It's right to treat others with fairness, but when that isn't respected by both parties, perhaps you're being unfair to yourself if you stay. I'm sorry you've been struggling with these feelings, but know that humans heal, and there is always hope for forgiveness/redemption in the future should you both reach a point where you are ready.
@@restlessmosaic Yeah … that sounds very familiar
@@dearkristin thank you so much for your kind words 😊 In my case, I‘m okay with the fact that I ended the friendship. As you said, I found that the constant fights and misunderstandings were bad for my mental health, but the way I did it was unnecessarily brutal and that’s why I‘m not over it. I‘ve been debating whether it would be helpful to apologize, but after almost ten years it might be to late. If he has healed from it, an apology won’t do anything for him except maybe cause anger and resentment because then it would just be about me wanting to clear my conscience.
One good thing that resulted from all this, though, is that I‘m (hopefully) being a better and more empathic friend in the present and future so I won’t do the same thing to someone else. That growth also partly resulted from me getting interested in typology. I‘m pretty sure that my childhood best friend is an INFP and our immature Ti/Fi clashed almost every time we saw each other.
Healthy self-reflection makes me so happy
For your question in 10:17 As an ISFJ or an INTP (I couldn't figure out my type yet) two and a half years ago I met a guy in my class and I realized that I was tend to be talking about him more often than it should be, so I was like "Okaaaay, it won't gonna work with this guy, you are fairly young and you have lots of problems you need to deal right now, so, nope." and I didn't count him as a crush. Next year we get into separate classes, school became online learning so I didn't see him for almost half and one year. I thought I was completely over him till I saw his name on my "classmates for this year" list. I connected my nervousness to another reason but in a few months I finally accepted. My acceptance moment was like "Enough! We both know you feel different about him. Why you are so persistent? So, let's stop refusing it..." It may not be a good choice to accept him because now I want him...
10:51 not going to lie but everything you did say was spot on for me. Idk how but it was, maybe because I am an ESFP too. I would enjoy such content, mainly because I am kind of slow to actually sit down and evaluate what I am feeling. I usually say what ever and go hangout with my friends who blissfully unaware of badly I am about punch a wall at even the slightest bit of someone not fully loving me
Okay, I love everything about this video. So funny, so wholesome and inspiring. ❤️ I can't believe that I am 10 years older than you and I am not half as wise. 🥲😂
So much sound advice here!
I just recently read through my old journals (yep, miraculously, I kept them) and it felt like looking into another world. And at the same time, I could still relate soooo much. The anger and sadness though... 😅 Glad I worked on that!
One of the least told facts about life is that everyone reaches a point where they have enough good and bad memories to dwell on either one forever. We get enough evidence to say we're either great or terrible, agent or victim, for at least the length of a normal conversation.
So how we process and move on is the key from keeping new years from being new burdens.
I say this as someone who's not good at processing. I just sort of understand the task. :-)
@@restlessmosaic That is very deep for someone only understanding the task! 😜 Need to think about this for a moment.
@@restlessmosaic These are very wise words. I personally think too much dwelling can be harmful either way. It's indeed processing, learning and letting go and moving forward that makes us grow. There is always a chance to turn your life for the better, at least in some parts of it.
I think there's not one correct way of processing, though, I'd say that looks different for every personality type and human. For some it's through their mind, for some through their emotions - or both!
@@SimoneEppler Agreed! Processing of any sort is the important thing.
LOL girl I was listening to those types of videos for ages, only just 2 years ago. It eventually lead me to understanding attachment theory. So, don't feel bad about your video and the way it was presented! It was beneficial to many people I am sure, even today :) ♡
Wonderful.
I have no words. It's amazing.
Thank you.
You should do a video in 10 years and review some of the videos you’re making now!
-11? Hell I was around -7, and that was really bad. I got my eyes lasered finally. PRK, results weren't quite perfect (a bit of astigmatism and farsightedness) but I can totally function without correction, even if I need glasses to read comfortably. This is wonderful outside and in the water.
It's SO different! Worth it.
I've heard! How I dream to be able to swim without goggles 😆
Happy April fools day every buddy! Hahaha! Thanks for this! You made my day! I have soooo many old videos that make me cringe 😬 but yet they’re just so funny 😂
Your April Fools video could have been "hey guys, so I thought I'd get myself professionally typed and turns out actually I'm an INFJ"
Genuinely thought about doing this! But I thought it would be WAY too transparent.
Nobody would have believed you, of course, but it would still have been hilarious.
I'm an ENTP, and I think I know when I am over/not over someone, BUT 1) I'm not always willing to admit it if I'm not, and 2) I tend to bond to people in a more mental than emotional way. Maybe it's that I can mentally tell when I'm over/not over someone, even if the emotional part is less easy for me to access?
This video was awesome Kristin, great messages:D I love the ability to reflect and look at some memories of yourself in the past that were painful or in a time where you were lost, but then looking at how you persevered through that pain and have become stronger, more vulnerable, and wiser because of it.
Thank you! 🙏
As an intj with a sensitive Fi (possibly HSP), there's so much to learn from watching an esfp deal with past issues. After all intj's cognitive functions are the reverse of the esfp's
I'm ESFP- I went through my first heartbreak- we did not even date, but I wanted it to happen so much. He's an INTJ, so if they predict we won't happen, we won't. So I learnt that if it is unrequited instead of chasing them for 8 months, put that emotional energy into something you love and makes you happy, on yourself. I feel like having Fi in second slot and being Se dom, when you genuinely like someone- the feeling makes you feel like infinite, and it takes over your entire existence and I loved that feeling at the same time it being not reciprocated it felt exhausting, and the pain and suffering felt like it will last forever. On the contrary once I connected the dots and things made sense that us won't happen(nope it doesn't make sense how can you predict when we didn't even give us a shot, with such few data) we were not compatible, it took me 3 months to process and think logically we were not compatible after all, even tho my Fi wanted us to happen badly.
Processing feelings and getting over someone is so important. Treating someone badly because of unprocessed past bad experience is really bad when you should be gentle with them, cause everyone is different and you'll not always have the same bad experience with everyone. It taught me to being open and cautious at the same time. I hope i made sense.
Also, I guess now I know what I'm not looking for in a relationship, and I've started being self aware more.
I love the message that you send about loving your past self. I've recently found out (after some hardcore introspection) that I can't blame myself for choices I made with the tools or thoughts I had back then, as long as I did what I thought was right. That way, I don't regret what I've done or what I've chosen (although the overthinking remains) and I really love my past self for that. However, you can't escape cringe. Luckily, I didn't post much back then🤣
By the way, I would've raised my hand on the facebook stalking thing. The INFJ punchline was right on time bc I felt so related to it, I can't escape the stereotype. That feature on instagram that let you check on their activity, I used it to check if they were online liking posts and figure they were ghosting my messages on purpose, it was an INFJ gold mine. I once told my close friends about it, like "yeah we all did it, right? Totally normal" and I can't forget the look on their faces. Guess I opened up too much, they weren't ready for that 🤣
Thanks for sharing! Glad you've done some healing in the area of loving your past self. It is hugely important, especially if there are traumatic memories involved. You're doing great! 💪
As an representative of the Infj gang, i loved the stereotypical infj input, and yes it is true, plz help.
What the heck is that lovely accent??
Maybe it's just me but, it really is sweet to my ears
Aussie!
The making of this video as an ENFP would be endlessly, embarrassingly tmi to the point it would’ve never been revealed. Ever
Just beautiful. Thank you very much for this Kristin. Be well, take care. ❤
April 1st 2033 (the next April-fools-Fi-day) ... Kristin reacts to this video. Put it on your coloured sticky-note diaries now!
...
Interesting how 19 y.o. Kristen covers up the Fi with a Te-style delivery.
Maybe she thought it would be punchier or funnier or just do better on the wild west of TH-cam circa 2012?
I have no idea what she thought 😅
I'm glad that you're well:D
Thanks for uploading!
Well done, well done! 👏
Glad you posted this. I like 19yo Kristin.
I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing with you 😉
Hehe, thanks!
First video ever.... Kristin is as charismatic and confident as ever. I guess you are really a natural.
You were right, tho. You chose the wrong niche, I wouldn't watch that. MBTI tho, now that is something I would watch, if you ever decide to go that route. You know since I am the most valuable viewer, and what I like dictates what has value on the internet... sarcasm ofc.
Hahaha thanks, farrex0!
Bravo! That was fun to watch!!
Min 14:20 “who does this“ - I did this back when I was 16. the boy stopped talking to me so I started befriending all of his male friends. I acutally got really close to them and from age 21-27 we (he and I) actually had "a thing" which was the most toxic interhuman contact I've ever been in… BUT I made my 16yo-self very very proud.
Today (I'm 31 now) I'm more than glad that we don't have any contact anymore even though I'm still friends with his old friends :D
I'm around the same age as you, so I was around the same age as you were 10 years ago as well. I could be rather bitter myself in my tone and attitude. I've always had some difficulties with my mental health and life structure and personal relationships, though it's varied between worse or better at times throughout life. In more recent years I've been doing better.
I was a very detached INTJ back then, both in the 'real world' and on the internet, I had difficulty forming any close relationships with people (except for some family who I had always had). While I tried not to show my bitterness to people, it still tended to come out a lot in my negative judgments and complaints about various people and things. On the internet in particular, I had a bad habit at times of getting into feuds and always trying to scheme ways to "one-up" my "foes". I didn't really understand my own self or my values, and at times I took things much too far and tended to disappoint myself very much.
Through my 20's, I started trying to make more of an effort to change my outlook and my ways. But even this had its difficulties. I remember I started trying to make a lot more effort to try to form genuine connections and friendships with people, but these could go awry, as I often was trying to relate to people who themselves didn't have their values sorted out. So while I've never had a romantic relationship and so no breakups to speak of there, I can relate to the pain of losing friends who were important to me.
There was one friend whose memory I was still constantly bothered by for years. I had tried really hard to be a good friend to that person, but there were just things in that person's choices that were out of my control and ultimately could not be reconciled, until it turned very bitter. Sometimes even today the memories of this friend still spring up in bitter recollection. I think there are still a lot of matters here that I never really came to terms with.
But things have improved more and more as years ago by. I have found a lot more peace of mind in the last few years. Many things helped, such as committing more to live out my faith in God, forming some better more reliable friendships, working towards solutions in the difficulties in my life and working to reconcile through the dysfunctional issues with family, getting away from negative influences and finding more positive influences, getting more clear foundations for my values, and of course also better understanding how I think about things. That last bit in particular, has been helped a lot by learning more about MBTI and having a better understanding of my natural thought processes and the thought processes of others around me, and it has spared me a lot of the distressing confusion I once held.
Overall, I have seen a very big, positive difference in the mindset I have now compared to 10 years ago or even 5 years ago. And I believe I will continue to see good things come about in life!
Thanks for sharing. I see a lot of self-awareness in this comment. Seems like you are on a good trajectory. Good on you and best of luck!
@@dearkristin Thank you! It's always great to hear from you, whether on video or in a comment.
@@dearkristin Also I just wanted to clarify, as I somewhat misphrased my first sentence (though I have edited it now), when I said I was the same age as you 10 years ago, I meant I was also around 19 at that time. I was trying to draw a parallel in the contrasting yet vaguely similar journeys of the ESFP and INTJ! Though the way I initially phrased it may have seemed that I was saying I was 29 back then, which kind of throws off the parallel I meant to convey.
I suppose that's an example of how my Ni can jump between those kinds of abstract associations but miss the more concrete precision of the proper wording that an ISTJ might be more mindful of. Anyway, I digress!
@ 9:01, yup same here with my Ne Dom sister ( ENFP)
Ngl I actually found the old video very entertaining (in a good way)
Heart break healed my broken relationship with myself. It took away my shame and gave me humility and respect for myself. It made me apologize, accept and love myself. I heard that you can't be addicted to someone if your happy or content with yourself (art of seduction). Also rats addicted to herion/cocaine? (Not sure which one) stop being addicted when you put em in rat heavan ( other rats, plenty of food and stimulus, like a wheel or some toys) . which if true could mean a lack of joy possibly cuz of a disconnect from urself and what you kno to enjoy or a lack of diversity in ur sources. Idk.. What helped me to move on is just forgiveness and working towards my goals.. ✌
-11 here too ❤ Thanks for sharing 😍❣
I think it might be an F thing to be very aware of when they still aren’t over someone, I’ve seen both Te and Ti types be in denial about not yet being over someone else (literally saying “I’m over him/her” and having a huge break down just a few days later over that person they’re supposedly over).
What if I've never been in love with someone in my life. Am i good?
I love how your energy was over the top back then... aaaand it's still over the top in your comedy videos, so... XD XD But physically you didn't change much! You were gorgeous back then and you are still nowadays!
What I liked the most it's your (present) message at the end about loving not only your present self, but also your past self! It's kind of hard sometimes to forgive you some mistakes, especially when other people were involved in them. That's why I can relate to videogame Nioh 2's depiction of Kinoshita Toukichirou (later known as Toyotomi Hideyoshi) about losing your best self and redeeming at the end; and my soon-to-be-published book protagonist, although based on an historical one of my country, also gets through a similar journey of being a hero, then being a jerk, and lastly saving his own soul :3
I think if you were an ENFP, the video could have turned similar (we have common Fi-Te after all), especially with the energy being over the top, although the examples may have been... wackier and not so realistic or concrete (ENFP's Ne vrs ESFP's Se).
This was a heartwarming video! n.n
Thank you! 😁 Glad you appreciated the message. And all the best with publishing your book!
@@dearkristin An Honor! And thanks, this project of mine is going to be MAJESTIC! ^O^
I think your brothers are just enjoying harassing you bc you feel embarrassed. This isn’t so bad. The video editing is bad ofc but you’re still you. It’s easy to cringe at yourself, but you’re still the passionate, theatrical ESFP you were 10 years ago (in a good way). Today’s my birthday btw and I’m 20. Thanks for the upload! :D
Ah. Well I’m not meaning you haven’t grown! You’re more beautiful and serene now, and you’re videos are much better. In other things I wouldn’t know bc I don’t know you like that. I just meant to say to not worry-you’re alright.
Thank you! And 🎂 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sam!!
Hi, I'm a 20 year old intj and I love your past me 😄
Late and short comment, still sick, but oh well. On the other hand I hope you're feeling better!
11:45, that lil' sneaky unpack will happen, regardless of if I'm coughing up my lungs. I might not make it through, but it will happen.
Lovely messages throughout! Cringing at the past is for dweebs, pride in having grown is where it's at :)
As always, you're doing great, my only critique is for not using a rainbow-filter throughout the entire video.
Going to sleep now for another week.
-Moobles
11:00
Absolutely! I'm an ENFP and I had one relationship in my life,
and whenever I was having an emotional mess, I would always turn to this type of content.
It's an easy and fast solution because usually they do help me.
But sometimes they were making me more emotional though 😢😂
And I'm not sure, but maybe I benefit from this type of content because it is made by other Fi users?? Because I always feel understood when watching the videos.
And it is certainly beneficial because during break-ups or high intense romantic situation, because there is just no place for thinking objectively at that time😂🤦♂
So, that's why the output from outside becomes very valuable.
Emotions just take over (God, I hate those times. Especially when I do stuff that I regret later)
And if I watched this 19-year-old Kristin's video, it could have been absolutely helpful at that time.
And I don't think you were angry at the time ... rather caring.
Maybe you went through this situation, and you noticed that you were not over your ex yet and wanted to help people from your experience.
Perhaps at the time of making the video you weren't over someone yet
and you were just trying to convey a message to your ex that I'm over you 😂😂
I don't know.
That old video pretty much sums up my current situation right now after 4 years of trying to getting over my crush :")
Cause I'm staring at all these photographs, I guess the good thing ain't meant to last, I gave her forever she gave a month, I've never fallen for anyone and now I'm looking at the ceiling wondering just what she's feeling now, If that's what love's about, then I'm so good without;
I guess Mimi Webb was right about it all along 😭🤧
Sorry to hear! You deserve for someone to care about you the same way you care for her.
@@dearkristin She told me that I'm not cool enough to be with her. I tried to be cool but I just hate lying to myself by trying to be someone else.
Dark Kristin is dark! You seem to have really found some inner peace since then.
Good on you!
And yeah I have Fe even if it's 4th. 😄
For sure!
Uploaded 42 seconds ago.
YASSS
What I keep noticing here is that 19 yo you has the "Te" voice you use for ENTJs and ESTJs. In retrospect, current you has the ENFJ/ESFP (the second one obviously) voice, I'm saying the Fe voice. Seems interesting!
Interesting and true! I like to think I didn't actually talk like this in life, but I do thing the Te tone was much more prominent then, given that I have since taken active steps to tone it down. I have certainly learned a lot more about being outwardly sensitive and empathic. This has just come with years of more healthy relationships, I would say!
I'd have date 19th-year-old Kristin and 29th-year-old Kristin in a heartbeat. You are like fine wine :)
Coming back to this video everytime I realise I am not over her, mainly because the advice makes me have a new realisation every time (beauty of being an Ne-Fi user is that I make new connections every time which in this sense often link to internal realisations) . After a talk with my INFP friend last night I realised it was actually time to let go, I deleted her phone number and unfollowed most of her social media. She’d already deleted me on some and because it has to be mutual it immediately ditched her on mine, Regret not doing it first Because I would have had the satisfaction of doing it first.
as an INTJ just really needed to understand emotions and other people, get an understanding of the situation then get past it
Got broken up with about 2 hours ago, so thought I’d come and rewatch this. As an Fi user, I need to process before moving on, while simultaneously Falling in my Ne (which is dominant so it’s going to win 99% of the time) which finds all the good things that can come of this, making a Taylor swift playlist and screaming the lyrics. Also even on the phone call when they did it I was just there like “hey at least I can listen to the all too well 10 min version and cry. Ooh and enchanted, and MINE” and then went to “ooh I’m going on a cruise in a few weeks, might end up having a cute holiday romance. “ but did have the fi moment of “I am upset, but harbour no ill emotions towards you and also would still love to be friends because I care about you”. And yes I have already channeled emotions into poetry. It’s my first breakup, and so it’s new territory to me- but being open and processing it and acknowledging emotions is so important for me as an Fi user. But also prioritising other friendships and relationships, like i am meeting a friend for coffee tomorrow, with friends on Tuesday, at school the rest of the week so probably Also going to take every opportunity to be around people. That being said it’s a balance between Ne wanting to use this as an opportunity I guess for new adventures and things that can come from being single and wanting distraction and to play, while simultaneously wanting to process and be true to how I’m feeling about it (and yet not wanting to feel hurt because that is painful). Because Fi is second slot, I need to nurture it to be fulfilled and truly happy, but sometimes it can suck to feel bad emotions and I have a tendency to switch Fi off and fall into a loop.
Also 16P’s after a breakup?!
You seem to be handling all of this more healthily than I would have at a similar time in my life.
@@restlessmosaic honestly learning mbti and typology has helped me understand some of my own processes and emotional needs a lot better, as well as being very interested in self improvement. I’m also very interested in psychology in general
Answering to question in minute 10:
I think being very aware of ur own feelings, and knowing when ur over someone, is specifically a very FP thing because is related to Fi. As an Fe dominant, I'm feeling but sometimes it's hard to know those things. Although, weirdly enough, I find it easier to know I'm over someone than to know whether I like someone or not. Don't know why this is
Signed: ENFJ
Fellow ENFJ, and I get what you mean. I broke up with my first gf 5 years ago, and it took me until last month to finally acknowledge I still had feelings for her.
Very interesting!
This INFJ doesn't have five people I check on, but I did text ex's mom on her birthday... And I totally did a glow up in case I ran into my ex. But it paid off in my case.
So, I would have related to 19 yo Kristen.
I can't share any feelings about relationships on here. Being an INFJ and the fact it would be anonymous,, it would be a book and you'd soon have my whole life written down on the post. I'll save people skipping over all of that!
Is “Fi-days” something you came up with?
Im just happy there was no social media when i was 19. I was a mess back then 🤦🏼♀️🤣
You might be embarrassed by 19 year old Kristin, but I like her and I'm rooting
for her! I think she'll turn out just fine. :) Edit: Spoilers! Just got to the end of the video. I'm glad that you came to appreciate 19 old Kristin at the end. She's a good egg.
Thank you! 😁