A high school friend of mine refused her silicone leg sleeve ment to make the prosthetic look like a “normal” leg. Instead she got a foot special for heels. Learnt so much from her.
Imo the prosthetics that are meant to look real have sort of an uncanny valley look to them, like it’s just sort of creepy. The black robotic ones look so cool and badass. Also the fact it was meant for heels is so cool I didn’t know they could do that
@@kat3217 Lol when my dad was talking options for his prosthetic, he was so excited to get a sleek black robot leg. He even asked if they could make the silicone foot cover completely black and was a bit disappointed when they said nah, skin tone would be best.
@@kat3217 yep, they have ones that are manually adjusted heel height so you can wear all different types of shoes and in the last year Proteor USA has put out a microprocessor ankle/foot that you can program heel height for 100 different shoes and run it from your phone. Prosthetics have come such a long way. Ottobock is doing some pretty cool stuff with knees. I've always said if I had to have a prosthetic I'd want it to be really stylized. I also agree the ones made to look really real can be total uncanny valley. We have a donated one we keep for show/teaching that has every individual leg hair and vein drawn on, the wrinkles on the knuckles of the toes and really legit looking toe nails. I've never seen a patient get one though. They are ridiculously expensive and insurance does not cover "cosmetic" covers.
@@madsfiedler3884 we live in The Netherlands. And a lot more is provided by insurance. And she was 14 when she survived cancer and got a artificial knee. 16 when she had been in a brace and a lot of pain and made a choice lie Jo did and got a amputation. So she mist the reticules high heels and experimentation “normal” girls go through. An wanted the option. She had 2 leges with 2 different feet.
I’ll never forget the day my 5th grade teacher told me to cover up my prosthesis because people shouldn’t have to see that. Even at that age I knew something felt very wrong about that. It’s not your problem if someone is made uncomfortable by seeing someone with a physical difference.
I'm sure my son will have similar stories crop up as an early amputee. How did you handle that? Did you talk with your parents and get some intervention?
That teacher should be fired. If they don't want to acknowledge the fact that people are different and it's ok to be different (whether it's gender, race, religion, or different disabilities or lack of thereof), and they are comfortable voicing their opinion towards literal children, they're gonna be a trauma source/contribute to it.
@@Kasiarzynka My mom ended up blowing up on him when she found out about it (I didn't understand the significance at the time, so I just mentioned it because I thought it was weird). The last thing she said to him before leaving was that she wished he'd take a walk in my shoes. Within 6 months, he was diagnosed and died of cancer (no clue what type he had). Always made me wonder if he already knew and was dealing with his own demons when he tried to tell me to cover my leg up.
@@hoid9407 Yeah, unfortunately, it’s bound to happen more than you’d think. Hopefully it’s nothing too bad, because things have gotten better since back then. There are other stories I could share (example: summer of 2014 I went to King’s Island and there were “NO Amputees” signs on 90% of the rides because they wanted to just handle amputees all the same instead of on a case by case basis when it came to safety regulations). Just try your best to make sure he knows this sort of thing isn’t normal, and isn’t right, and that he is going to need to remind people of his rights many times over the years, because somehow some people will never fully understand that people with disabilities are still people, and their disability is not something that they choose to have just to inconvenience everyone else.
Veterans, like me, tend to "flaunt" it to counter the feeling of being "the odd one out" and, like you, discovered it's a lot easier to deal with. I think you made the right decision.
Please don’t answer if I overstep but I’m struggling with this… I’m a veteran and have a limp. More noticeable throughout the day-folks keep randomly asking me about it and I’ve gone from “I got hurt” to “I am having a rough day” to the full story to “military” to ignoring them… how do you break the feeling of shame/invasion of privacy? ((It’s been 4 surgeries. It’s not getting better. I accept that most days. But the “I’m entitled to ask until you give me a satisfactory answer” just makes me not want to bother with those folks these days.)) On good days, I’m up for explaining… on more painful days, I’m doing the best that I can to just mask the best I can until I get home. I admire you/y’all. I wish I could emulate that confidence.
@@hj7947 maybe start by saying "thank you for asking" (or not, I'm not sure on this one), then something like "I was in the military and got hurt but it's still a recent trauma and I'd rather not talk about it because it's a difficult subject for me" And yes, it's totally fine that you don't want to bother with them !
I have done the same with my crutches. My condition- CRPS- is very rare, so I use these conversations as a way to educate people about it. I respect that not all disabled folks want, or are willing, to have these conversations, but I’m a chatty person and I feel I’m spreading understanding one conversation at a time.
@@diamondrl0 - EXACTLY! And there are days where bothering me will yield the answer, “Keep it up and I’ll shove this crutch so far up your ass, you’ll look like a unicorn.” So I feel the need to offset those (thankfully very rare) grumpy days, too, lol.
I think it’s crazy that it’s considered rare. I hear about it a lot. Out of curiosity, I looked up how common it is and found that there are 5-26 cases out of 100,000. It still baffles me that it’s rare because my daughter has an extremely rare genetic anomaly and there’s less than 250 in the world that have it. Regardless, I’m sorry you have to deal with that. I have chronic intractable pain and it’s no fun at all
It also makes other people feel less awkward about it if it comes up in conversation (not that you should spend your life making other people feel comfortable at your expense)
@@apriljones1013 ever considered disability merch? It’s weird at first but I’ve had people come up to me to try and learn by asking questions. Most recently a teacher approached me because his daughter just got diagnosed, had a good conversation and now he’s less worried about her future :))
I worked at a Hilton that catered to business. One morning I noticed one of our regulars was walking a little funny so I asked if she was okay - thinking she had twisted her ankle or something. I was so embarrassed when she said it was a fake leg. Her glee that in the 3 years she'd been staying there, that was the first time I'd noticed anything off about her gait almost made me feel better
When my daughter was just 2yo we saw a man leaving hospital with a metal shaft instead of a foot in a shoe. My daughter stopped, pointed, burst out laughing and at the top of her voice,yelled "look at that man's foot mummy it's so funny!" Everyone stopped in shocked silence but the young man smiled at her, lifted his foot up for her to see and laughingly announced that he had been silly and lost it, and that the doctors were making him a better one. I am so grateful to that beautiful man, his reaction created a compassionate, disability blind ally that day.
@@madsfiedler3884he has the right to be upset at the parents. Children can't be questions but parenting methods can and should, this man was nice and awknoledged that it may embarrass the parent here. He is in no way required to awknoledge that though.
@@cryochick9044 if you will notice, i was talking about the infant lol though given her age, i dont think even the most rigorous disability awareness education from the parents would have much affect
People can't see mine because most of the time I'm riding my motorcycle. Proper gear is wearing long pants so most of the time in public it's covered by my long jeans. However recently saw a dude who had one side either cut or rolled up to show it off. It had flames all over it. And was badass.
The cool stuff I've seen put onto patient's sockets is one of my favorite parts of my job. I have one guy who always brings us these really cool skull pin up girl prints to put on his. Another who hand paints all of his with different really neat designs. One lady uses her cricut machine to make cool stickers that wrap all around it and when she gets tired of looking at it she peels it off and makes something new.
I did my onboarding for a new job at a hardware store. I was in jeans. The onboarding docs asked if I was disabled, and aside from sporting a temporary splint because my dogs leash wrapped my finger and amputated it 3 weeks ago ( they put it back on successfully), my trainer made an assumption and told me to click “no” to indicate I’m not disabled. I looked at her and said, “oh, but I am. I just hide it well” and pulled my pant leg up to show her my prosthetic leg. I NEVER purposely hide my leg and wear it with pride. But I also don’t limp and she said she never would have known.
I'm not ashamed of my leg but I haven't found the right style of clothes. I saw one of your posts, you were talking about some pants that had zippers on the legs to help make it easier to get on and off. Where did you find them if you don't mind telling?????
I have this really bad injury in my foot and one of my biggest worries is having to get it amputated. Sometimes when I’m anxious I’ll just come and watch your videos and see how you’re doing well and it makes me feel better
I once went to this summer camp with a counselor who had a prosthetic leg. He was one of the best basketball players there and always openly answered questions about his prosthetic leg when anyone asked. I loved how he was just like anyone else there, playing the same games and having just as much fun. Much respect to people who are just happy to be themselves for who they are.
Part of me wants to help counter the stigma regarding amputees. But another part of me thinks "F#$k your questions--I'm trying to get this shopping trip over with."
Just curious, in your case would you be bothered if someone who noticed your prosthetic/amputation came up to you and offered a potentially beneficial service? Just because as a massage therapist working in healthcare oftentimes ii see people with any variety of bodily pain& issues but ii never go up to them because ii don't want to be rude about whatever they're dealing with.
Totally valid take! Having to be an educational advocate for your own conditions 24/7 can often be tiring and not everyone is gonna be in the mood for it all the time Can confirm myself from a neurological and identity pov
@@jmassagetherapist6773 I’d generally advise against it, especially if it’s a stranger. I personally get a lot of unsolicited advice about my disability and what they think will “Fix me”, and no matter how well intentioned, it always feels very condescending, as if I’m not trying hard enough to get better. Especially of their disability is more visible it might make them feel singled out. If massage might be helpful for them, they probably already know that and A) probably already see a massage therapist or B) can’t afford it. It’s really good that you care about these people you see and even better that you consider how they might feel about your advice, you get top marks for that 😊 And this is just based on my own experience, everyone has their own comfort zone.
Honestly fair. It can be tricky with those 2 options cause you don't want to be villianized meerly for standing around. But yeah they aren't owed and explaination.
@@jmassagetherapist6773in general, keep offers of assistance to things people would normally do for anyone, disabled or not. Offering to hold a door, good for people in wheelchairs, good for people with their hands full. You overhear someone trying to find a bathroom, and you know the building, so you give directions. Try to help not because they are disabled, but because they are human. If you are going to treat them differently than a normie, make sure to give choices. Hey, that bathroom is closer, but that other one is larger and cleaner, might be more accessible and pleasant. Choose which one you want, I gave you options.
That's the same reason 20yo me refused to hide my depression (despite my family's discomfort with me being open about it)! The more we hide these things, the more we encourage the idea that it's something that "should" be hidden... something to be ashamed of. No one should feel alone in their struggles! The rough times are painful, but easier to get through when you *know* that you are not alone!
I’m having to come to terms with this as well. I really want to get rid of this idea in my head that my epilepsy means I’m an inconvenience and that I make people uncomfortable. I’ve been spending so much time worrying about what others must think when they learn about it that I’ve internalised all of that negativity.
@@emily_232 Your existence, just as you are, is not an inconvenience for the people who really care about you! I'm 39, and the strongest friendships I have are with the people I met in my early 20's, who got to know me, struggles and all. You'd be amazed at the genuine, incredible, life-long relationships you can build when you're open about the things you perceive as flaws! The people who would consider you an inconvenience tend to fall away, and you're left with the people who feel comfortable enough with you (because of your honesty) to be open about their "flaws." And those relationships, they're priceless! It's scary, and it's hard at first (it's still hard for me sometimes, especially with certain topics), but it's so worth it! I know I'm just a voice floating in the vastness of the internet, but if you need help, encouragement, or even just a reminder that you're not alone, I'm happy to do what I can! 😁
@@katestark2519 I know everyone has struggles, most are a lot greater than mine. But it is nice to not feel alone and I this is one of the great things about the internet. So thank you. I never saw opening up as an option until recently and it has made things better. It’s so easy to just wallow and even enjoy self pity but much more satisfying to talk, even if it’s harder. It’s better than clamming up to avoid disappointment isn’t any better. I hope that you’re doing well and have good people around you, you seem really kind and I’m sure you’ve worked hard for that.
You are doing a special service to all people with prosthetics. Your openness is valuable for all people with or without prosthetics. Keep up the great work!
I spent years hiding my mental illness even from my closest friends. I feel so much better since I've stopped doing that, and I hope and think that I am making a difference for those who aren't ready to do it yet. There are unfortunately still quite a lot of people who can't overcome that initial very human impulse of thinking someone with a disability is less capable across the board, so anything we can do for inclusivity is so important.
it's honestly so sad that to this day someone still feels the need to hide their disability, but I get why. Having people constantly staring at you and judging and even commenting in some uncomfortable ways, it's hard. But your work here makes a difference, we have to go out and be seen as who we are
I am a double amputee myself I wear shorts I have to go somewhere that requires pants I thought I would be embarrassed but this is the way I am now but I’m just honored that I’m here on earth because I died twice with my right foot being amputated So now I just asked God to give me courage and strength to go on and people that wanna judge pray for them because God said do not judge I’m also praying for my job because they are also getting me because I walk funny I work for United Airlines as an aircraft inspector here in Houston God said Vengeance is mine so God has to deal with them also the EEOC is involved
My 2yo son lost his right leg above the knee at birth. This is exactly the attitude I hope to engender in him. He has a prosthetic leg and knee and we decorate it and make it as cool as we can so that he can see that it's not something to hide. It's cool and unique. Thank you for being an adult example I can't point him toward.
Also autistic and - for sure, this is very worth it! Just remember that it’s okay if you start finding that you run out of energy EVEN faster for the first couple months of committing to that - it is VERY non-linear healing. Ups and downs, good days and tough ones. But when the people in your life have a better idea of your “unmasked” persona, it turns out that your relationships improve. You deserve to have your needs met too, even if they are less expected by others. ♥️ Stay strong, keep seeking community, and ask for help if you need it! Much love!
I saw a sticker on someone's prosthetic that said "Leg story: 10 dollars" and i think that is a very funny way to deal with this kind of decision. Mad respect for you : )
I recall one girl I worked with, had a prosthetic lower leg. Even at the height of summer, we often forgot she even had it! Until she was asked to be a carhop (we worked at Sonic) and she said, “I can’t wear the skates, my foot won’t let me get them on.” That was really the second time I looked down to realize… ‘yeah. That’s a manufactured foot, not a meat foot.’
I saw someone with a prosthetic leg and the metal parts were golden in color and I thought it was really pretty so I told her. It felt kinda weird but honestly I just really liked how it looked.
since I was 4 yrs old I had the old school prosthetic leg that I felt like I had to hide from everyone because they treat me differently, the only time I was able to show my prosthetic leg proudly was when I got my new leg (same as yours) just a year ago and it wasn’t easy as well but I managed to overcome the fear of people looking at me like I am a weirdo, thank you for sharing
I think you are simply awesome Jo, don't hide it to save some shallow peoples opinion. What you have endured is something they will never understand, and you have overcome. You are a saint!
Good on you. The more we all are exposed to differences and problems, the more accepted and normailzed they will be. You are helping everyone by taking ownership of this. Stay strong.
I'm disabled with a half-functioning leg in chronic pain. I can wear my knee brace under jeans, but I tend not to. For me, it's to communicate that I am disabled, since people never expect a young, tall man to be disabled. The other reason is to communicate some kind of strength in weakness. I can't overcome the pain. I can usually work with it. The sight of the brace makes the times I need accommodation or space to cry a lot easier to get. I hope the dynamics are similar for you. I'm aware, though, that lots of unfair factors play into these perceptions. Thank you for helping represent.
I get that ... accommodation, space to cry ... I am one of those who have severe issues with noise. It hurts. It hurts badly. Some days I just want to curl up in a tight ball and not to hear anything. Most days I get along as most people remember to be calm and quiet around me. Then the occasional mishap happens - a door slammed, a board closed loudly, a loud sneeze - it drives me nuts with pain and overstimulation. So, I get it and I commend you for enduring and going on. Stay strong!
I think it’s so cute that you are wearing a colorful sock on your nubbin. At first I was surprised that it wasn’t on the the prosthetic foot shell, but come to think of it that really doesn’t have to be kept warm because you can’t really feel it right? Especially when you aren’t wearing it. I am learning so much from you. Thank you for being open about this, when you can 😊
_How to hide a prosthetic leg under clothing?_ I recommend laying the prosthetic down flat, then build a sturdy base of clothing around it to disguise the exact shape and form. I recommend paired and folded socks. After the base is constructed, use unpaired socks to fill void space, creating a platform level with or slightly higher than the prosthetic.Finally, cover the platform with neatly pressed and folded undergarments, stacked in interlocking bricked formation so there is no chance of seeing between the gaps. Carefully folding and stacking is far superior to the haphazard pile, as a pile screams of a hurried attempt at obfuscation. A neat stack implies ordered intent. Onlookers will simply think this is a convenient if unconventional way to store clothes.
I’ve felt the same about my epilepsy and taking medication in public or hiding the reason why I can’t drive, safely do certain things (like rollercoasters or late nights). But meeting people around me who also have to bring medication with them on night outs or evening classes and taking them in front of people and videos like this really encourage me to be more accepting of it and less afraid. If anything, trying to secretly take pills causes more trouble (like dropping them) than if I just got on with it. Same goes for trying to hide my anxieties about keeping that side of myself hidden and fears that I’m an inconvenience to those closest to me. Not worth the strife.
Honestly Jo you have such a lovely way of speaking and communicating so intelligently. You could narrate anything and it would be amazing. You've a lovely accent too. Have you thought of story narration? You'd be awesome with such a beautiful voice 🙂👍👍
This reminds me of when I would wear ripped jeans so my knee brace was visible. Not only am I not ashamed of being disabled, it’s to let other people know too
Hey! Dunno if youll see this but I recently had a bob tail kitten dumped at my house. His name is now Nubbin' and hes outgrowing the older boys like its nothing. 💪❤
I very strongly agree with you. I'm so thankful I had 2 grandparents who set an example for me to just be me and not care what others think. I have recently become disabled and that is one less thing that I think about.
I'm glad you don't hide it. When I saw the title I was thinking why would you? I mean if you are wearing something that covers your leg fine but no need to intentionally hide it.
Beautiful Jo, have no idea how long you've been posting on here but wish I knew you and your insights ,24 years ago.... Why? Because back then. I lived in Denver and frequented Rockies games I especially liked the early afternoon games. And even though I worked 50,60,80hrs per week. leaving work at 10 or 11 to have some food,beer and enjoy a game in the middle of the week. felt like a vacation. There was a strong beautiful tblonde double amputee no prosthetics but owned that stadium on crutches I saw her all the time at our club level seats but never worked up the moxie to approach her If I had .the knowledge and insight that you've provided This 20 year US Marine would have found the courage now I just hope she likes you as much as I do and sees this❤😊
I saw a guy in 5 Guys once who had a Prosthetic. He definitely wasn't trying to hide it. I think I knew about your channel then, I'm not sure!!! If I had one, I wouldn't bother trying to hide it, because I'm sure it would be difficult in some situations, and because it would be a sign of strength, due to what I'd been through (had I lost my leg, or been born that way) I'd embrace it and be proud of how far I'd come!!
I (cis straight) use gender neutral bathrooms for a similar reason. Rn it's assumed u r lgbt+ if you use them. 'Normal' wouldn't have such a narrow definition if all the differences weren't hidden. And people wouldn't feel like hiding their differences if they were accepted as normal. I have clients who hate to use their walkers in public coz they get stared at. Society needs to accommodate.
God, I wish I was like you, because well I’m comfortable telling my friends and family, at least most of my family, and having conversations with them, and letting people, strangers on the Internet know, people I don’t know very well, but still see in public, that’s when I feel the most uncomfortable, and I know I shouldn’t, because it’s nothing to be ashamed of, war feel uncomfortable about, I just can’t get over being nervous and anxious to tell those people, you let the whole world know, how do you have that much confidence, all props to you for having that much confidence, but how, I wish I had so much confidence.
Good for you, Jo! I feel exactly the same way about my prosthetic leg, but being a guy, there is one further problem as pants are a real pain to put on and take off, so I opted for wearing my hiking kilts, super comfortable and I usually get very positive comments
When they did the fitting of my leg, they told me they could make a silicone sleeve to make it look like a "real" leg I flatout refused. I will proudly rock my new cyborg self!
I agree with you. I have one eye but I never thought it was anything to hide. My friend welded his chin to his chest when he was a teenager and never hid that. No need to hide or be ashamed of a broken body.
I never had mine either. Makes more sense to keep it open so I can get it off real fast if I need to and more. Just part of life raising a lamb to me. Been cut in half twice anyway, lost in Oregon, and a lady died to make it all happen so I could be alive. I can care less what people think. Just glad to survive another day and that’s what is important.
I can't image asking a random about their prosthesis... Though our local Big Issue vendor volunteered info about it one day, because he's getting new ones and was super happy about that.
Great choice! I would do the same! I don’t hide my figure regardless of size. ETA…I spent years getting to this point. No embarrassment here. My process!
I feel like a lot of people with visible differences try to hide them because it gets tiring to have people notice them and expect them to have a conversation about it when they just want to get on with their day, especially if they are having a bad day. I have some visible even when wearing not-revealing clothing scars that I hide whenever possible, and that I'm always conscious and aware of so that I know how to position my body so that people are less likely to notice them, and I go through all that trouble because it's not a topic I want to discuss with people, especially strangers, acquainteces or the like. They're from a really bad period of my life, connected to things I hate thinking about, and it always ruins my day to think about them, or having to lie about how I got them, because the truth is too personal and traumatic to discuss.
i love this answer and as a trans person i can oddly relate. when i first really started transitioning full time covid was in full swing so it was easy to hide my face and avoid judgement for it but when restrictions fell i decided not to keep masking 24/7 as a crutch for my appearance and instead i just mask if it makes sense, if i’m sick or going to be around vulnerable people. like you said i think in the long run it’s better to not psychologically make myself feel a sense of dependency on that.
Semi related story. I deal with crippling social anxiety. Borderline agoraphobia. It comes from being relentlessly bullied in my formative years. My brain constantly tells me people are staring, they're whispering, they hate me. So I died my hair teal. Sidenote: I live in the deep south. Now when I have those intrusive anxiety riddled thoughts in public I've convinced myself they're staring, whispering, and hating.....my hair....not me. The people that like it always say they do and it also brings interesting conversation. Actually, most of my compliments come from old ladies and little girls. My preferred demographic.
Dam straight hun. just because your disabled (like me) or differently abled...doesn't mean you should hide to make other people more comfortable. I wear my ostomy bag on the outside of my pants because its more comfortable for me. That being said its ok to hide to be more comfortable if thats what you want. Im more then ok answering the what is that question and I know not everyone is!
Never hide yourself so glad you face this problem and made video to show and tell other that it is ok to show the disability and that It won't make any difference for them
A high school friend of mine refused her silicone leg sleeve ment to make the prosthetic look like a “normal” leg. Instead she got a foot special for heels. Learnt so much from her.
Imo the prosthetics that are meant to look real have sort of an uncanny valley look to them, like it’s just sort of creepy. The black robotic ones look so cool and badass. Also the fact it was meant for heels is so cool I didn’t know they could do that
@@kat3217 Lol when my dad was talking options for his prosthetic, he was so excited to get a sleek black robot leg. He even asked if they could make the silicone foot cover completely black and was a bit disappointed when they said nah, skin tone would be best.
@@kat3217 yep, they have ones that are manually adjusted heel height so you can wear all different types of shoes and in the last year Proteor USA has put out a microprocessor ankle/foot that you can program heel height for 100 different shoes and run it from your phone. Prosthetics have come such a long way. Ottobock is doing some pretty cool stuff with knees.
I've always said if I had to have a prosthetic I'd want it to be really stylized. I also agree the ones made to look really real can be total uncanny valley. We have a donated one we keep for show/teaching that has every individual leg hair and vein drawn on, the wrinkles on the knuckles of the toes and really legit looking toe nails. I've never seen a patient get one though. They are ridiculously expensive and insurance does not cover "cosmetic" covers.
oh my g o d s i literally couldnt ever i cant do heels how do u commit to heels so hard u get ur whole foot made for them aaaa
@@madsfiedler3884 we live in The Netherlands. And a lot more is provided by insurance. And she was 14 when she survived cancer and got a artificial knee. 16 when she had been in a brace and a lot of pain and made a choice lie Jo did and got a amputation. So she mist the reticules high heels and experimentation “normal” girls go through. An wanted the option. She had 2 leges with 2 different feet.
I’ll never forget the day my 5th grade teacher told me to cover up my prosthesis because people shouldn’t have to see that. Even at that age I knew something felt very wrong about that. It’s not your problem if someone is made uncomfortable by seeing someone with a physical difference.
That is shocking that that happened to you, you'd think a teacher would do better
I'm sure my son will have similar stories crop up as an early amputee. How did you handle that? Did you talk with your parents and get some intervention?
That teacher should be fired. If they don't want to acknowledge the fact that people are different and it's ok to be different (whether it's gender, race, religion, or different disabilities or lack of thereof), and they are comfortable voicing their opinion towards literal children, they're gonna be a trauma source/contribute to it.
@@Kasiarzynka My mom ended up blowing up on him when she found out about it (I didn't understand the significance at the time, so I just mentioned it because I thought it was weird). The last thing she said to him before leaving was that she wished he'd take a walk in my shoes. Within 6 months, he was diagnosed and died of cancer (no clue what type he had). Always made me wonder if he already knew and was dealing with his own demons when he tried to tell me to cover my leg up.
@@hoid9407 Yeah, unfortunately, it’s bound to happen more than you’d think. Hopefully it’s nothing too bad, because things have gotten better since back then. There are other stories I could share (example: summer of 2014 I went to King’s Island and there were “NO Amputees” signs on 90% of the rides because they wanted to just handle amputees all the same instead of on a case by case basis when it came to safety regulations). Just try your best to make sure he knows this sort of thing isn’t normal, and isn’t right, and that he is going to need to remind people of his rights many times over the years, because somehow some people will never fully understand that people with disabilities are still people, and their disability is not something that they choose to have just to inconvenience everyone else.
Veterans, like me, tend to "flaunt" it to counter the feeling of being "the odd one out" and, like you, discovered it's a lot easier to deal with. I think you made the right decision.
Please don’t answer if I overstep but I’m struggling with this… I’m a veteran and have a limp. More noticeable throughout the day-folks keep randomly asking me about it and I’ve gone from “I got hurt” to “I am having a rough day” to the full story to “military” to ignoring them… how do you break the feeling of shame/invasion of privacy? ((It’s been 4 surgeries. It’s not getting better. I accept that most days. But the “I’m entitled to ask until you give me a satisfactory answer” just makes me not want to bother with those folks these days.))
On good days, I’m up for explaining… on more painful days, I’m doing the best that I can to just mask the best I can until I get home.
I admire you/y’all. I wish I could emulate that confidence.
@@hj7947 maybe start by saying "thank you for asking" (or not, I'm not sure on this one), then something like "I was in the military and got hurt but it's still a recent trauma and I'd rather not talk about it because it's a difficult subject for me"
And yes, it's totally fine that you don't want to bother with them !
I have done the same with my crutches. My condition- CRPS- is very rare, so I use these conversations as a way to educate people about it. I respect that not all disabled folks want, or are willing, to have these conversations, but I’m a chatty person and I feel I’m spreading understanding one conversation at a time.
us chatty people do the work for the ppl who don't wanna talk about these topics! We try our best to educate and that's okay!
Ayy I have amps! Not CRPS, but it is a similar condition.
@@diamondrl0 - EXACTLY! And there are days where bothering me will yield the answer, “Keep it up and I’ll shove this crutch so far up your ass, you’ll look like a unicorn.” So I feel the need to offset those (thankfully very rare) grumpy days, too, lol.
I think it’s crazy that it’s considered rare. I hear about it a lot. Out of curiosity, I looked up how common it is and found that there are 5-26 cases out of 100,000. It still baffles me that it’s rare because my daughter has an extremely rare genetic anomaly and there’s less than 250 in the world that have it. Regardless, I’m sorry you have to deal with that. I have chronic intractable pain and it’s no fun at all
Visibility is the first step to making the world more inclusive
It also makes other people feel less awkward about it if it comes up in conversation (not that you should spend your life making other people feel comfortable at your expense)
I sometimes wish my disability was visible for that reason
Couldn’t have said it better.
@@apriljones1013 ever considered disability merch? It’s weird at first but I’ve had people come up to me to try and learn by asking questions. Most recently a teacher approached me because his daughter just got diagnosed, had a good conversation and now he’s less worried about her future :))
I worked at a Hilton that catered to business. One morning I noticed one of our regulars was walking a little funny so I asked if she was okay - thinking she had twisted her ankle or something. I was so embarrassed when she said it was a fake leg. Her glee that in the 3 years she'd been staying there, that was the first time I'd noticed anything off about her gait almost made me feel better
What others think about you is none of your business. Unless it is a child who is just curious.❤
Probably made her day that your first thought was to see if she was alright rather than judge her
When my daughter was just 2yo we saw a man leaving hospital with a metal shaft instead of a foot in a shoe. My daughter stopped, pointed, burst out laughing and at the top of her voice,yelled "look at that man's foot mummy it's so funny!"
Everyone stopped in shocked silence but the young man smiled at her, lifted his foot up for her to see and laughingly announced that he had been silly and lost it, and that the doctors were making him a better one.
I am so grateful to that beautiful man, his reaction created a compassionate, disability blind ally that day.
Thats such a beautiful story! ❤
also, she was a baby, so its not really right to get mad at her for that? he handled the answer well tho
THAT'S GREATNESS. RESPECT ABD BLESSINGS FIR THIS MAN.!!!!!
@@madsfiedler3884he has the right to be upset at the parents.
Children can't be questions but parenting methods can and should, this man was nice and awknoledged that it may embarrass the parent here. He is in no way required to awknoledge that though.
@@cryochick9044 if you will notice, i was talking about the infant lol
though given her age, i dont think even the most rigorous disability awareness education from the parents would have much affect
People can't see mine because most of the time I'm riding my motorcycle. Proper gear is wearing long pants so most of the time in public it's covered by my long jeans. However recently saw a dude who had one side either cut or rolled up to show it off. It had flames all over it. And was badass.
The cool stuff I've seen put onto patient's sockets is one of my favorite parts of my job. I have one guy who always brings us these really cool skull pin up girl prints to put on his. Another who hand paints all of his with different really neat designs. One lady uses her cricut machine to make cool stickers that wrap all around it and when she gets tired of looking at it she peels it off and makes something new.
I did my onboarding for a new job at a hardware store. I was in jeans. The onboarding docs asked if I was disabled, and aside from sporting a temporary splint because my dogs leash wrapped my finger and amputated it 3 weeks ago ( they put it back on successfully), my trainer made an assumption and told me to click “no” to indicate I’m not disabled. I looked at her and said, “oh, but I am. I just hide it well” and pulled my pant leg up to show her my prosthetic leg. I NEVER purposely hide my leg and wear it with pride. But I also don’t limp and she said she never would have known.
I'm not ashamed of my leg but I haven't found the right style of clothes. I saw one of your posts, you were talking about some pants that had zippers on the legs to help make it easier to get on and off. Where did you find them if you don't mind telling?????
I have this really bad injury in my foot and one of my biggest worries is having to get it amputated. Sometimes when I’m anxious I’ll just come and watch your videos and see how you’re doing well and it makes me feel better
That's good! :) I hope things work out for you, regardless of the end result. Can't be easy.
@@TheEDFLegacy 🙃🙃
Are you OK now? Did you get better? 💓
I once went to this summer camp with a counselor who had a prosthetic leg. He was one of the best basketball players there and always openly answered questions about his prosthetic leg when anyone asked. I loved how he was just like anyone else there, playing the same games and having just as much fun. Much respect to people who are just happy to be themselves for who they are.
Part of me wants to help counter the stigma regarding amputees. But another part of me thinks "F#$k your questions--I'm trying to get this shopping trip over with."
Just curious, in your case would you be bothered if someone who noticed your prosthetic/amputation came up to you and offered a potentially beneficial service?
Just because as a massage therapist working in healthcare oftentimes ii see people with any variety of bodily pain& issues but ii never go up to them because ii don't want to be rude about whatever they're dealing with.
Totally valid take! Having to be an educational advocate for your own conditions 24/7 can often be tiring and not everyone is gonna be in the mood for it all the time
Can confirm myself from a neurological and identity pov
@@jmassagetherapist6773 I’d generally advise against it, especially if it’s a stranger. I personally get a lot of unsolicited advice about my disability and what they think will “Fix me”, and no matter how well intentioned, it always feels very condescending, as if I’m not trying hard enough to get better. Especially of their disability is more visible it might make them feel singled out. If massage might be helpful for them, they probably already know that and A) probably already see a massage therapist or B) can’t afford it. It’s really good that you care about these people you see and even better that you consider how they might feel about your advice, you get top marks for that 😊 And this is just based on my own experience, everyone has their own comfort zone.
Honestly fair. It can be tricky with those 2 options cause you don't want to be villianized meerly for standing around. But yeah they aren't owed and explaination.
@@jmassagetherapist6773in general, keep offers of assistance to things people would normally do for anyone, disabled or not. Offering to hold a door, good for people in wheelchairs, good for people with their hands full. You overhear someone trying to find a bathroom, and you know the building, so you give directions.
Try to help not because they are disabled, but because they are human. If you are going to treat them differently than a normie, make sure to give choices. Hey, that bathroom is closer, but that other one is larger and cleaner, might be more accessible and pleasant. Choose which one you want, I gave you options.
That's the same reason 20yo me refused to hide my depression (despite my family's discomfort with me being open about it)! The more we hide these things, the more we encourage the idea that it's something that "should" be hidden... something to be ashamed of. No one should feel alone in their struggles! The rough times are painful, but easier to get through when you *know* that you are not alone!
I’m having to come to terms with this as well. I really want to get rid of this idea in my head that my epilepsy means I’m an inconvenience and that I make people uncomfortable. I’ve been spending so much time worrying about what others must think when they learn about it that I’ve internalised all of that negativity.
@@emily_232 Your existence, just as you are, is not an inconvenience for the people who really care about you! I'm 39, and the strongest friendships I have are with the people I met in my early 20's, who got to know me, struggles and all. You'd be amazed at the genuine, incredible, life-long relationships you can build when you're open about the things you perceive as flaws! The people who would consider you an inconvenience tend to fall away, and you're left with the people who feel comfortable enough with you (because of your honesty) to be open about their "flaws." And those relationships, they're priceless! It's scary, and it's hard at first (it's still hard for me sometimes, especially with certain topics), but it's so worth it! I know I'm just a voice floating in the vastness of the internet, but if you need help, encouragement, or even just a reminder that you're not alone, I'm happy to do what I can! 😁
@@katestark2519 I know everyone has struggles, most are a lot greater than mine. But it is nice to not feel alone and I this is one of the great things about the internet. So thank you. I never saw opening up as an option until recently and it has made things better. It’s so easy to just wallow and even enjoy self pity but much more satisfying to talk, even if it’s harder. It’s better than clamming up to avoid disappointment isn’t any better. I hope that you’re doing well and have good people around you, you seem really kind and I’m sure you’ve worked hard for that.
You are doing a special service to all people with prosthetics. Your openness is valuable for all people with or without prosthetics. Keep up the great work!
I spent years hiding my mental illness even from my closest friends. I feel so much better since I've stopped doing that, and I hope and think that I am making a difference for those who aren't ready to do it yet. There are unfortunately still quite a lot of people who can't overcome that initial very human impulse of thinking someone with a disability is less capable across the board, so anything we can do for inclusivity is so important.
it's amazing that you are willing to share your experiences with the internet! I've learned so much from just watching your videos :)
it's honestly so sad that to this day someone still feels the need to hide their disability, but I get why. Having people constantly staring at you and judging and even commenting in some uncomfortable ways, it's hard. But your work here makes a difference, we have to go out and be seen as who we are
I am a double amputee myself I wear shorts I have to go somewhere that requires pants I thought I would be embarrassed but this is the way I am now but I’m just honored that I’m here on earth because I died twice with my right foot being amputated
So now I just asked God to give me courage and strength to go on and people that wanna judge pray for them because God said do not judge I’m also praying for my job because they are also getting me because I walk funny I work for United Airlines as an aircraft inspector here in Houston God said Vengeance is mine so God has to deal with them also the EEOC is involved
I see you’re a member of the awesome socks club!!!!
I immediately noticed that as well!
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Was searching for these comments!!!
I'm wearing those ones right now!
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I just love you. You’re someone that kids, young adults and even older adults can look up to idolize. You are the very definition of a good influencer
My 2yo son lost his right leg above the knee at birth. This is exactly the attitude I hope to engender in him. He has a prosthetic leg and knee and we decorate it and make it as cool as we can so that he can see that it's not something to hide. It's cool and unique. Thank you for being an adult example I can't point him toward.
I love the effort you make as an educator, while living in your own boundaries. Also: Are those socks from Awesome Sock Club??
This gives me the motivation to try to stop masking my ASD traits in public.
Also autistic and - for sure, this is very worth it!
Just remember that it’s okay if you start finding that you run out of energy EVEN faster for the first couple months of committing to that - it is VERY non-linear healing. Ups and downs, good days and tough ones.
But when the people in your life have a better idea of your “unmasked” persona, it turns out that your relationships improve. You deserve to have your needs met too, even if they are less expected by others. ♥️
Stay strong, keep seeking community, and ask for help if you need it! Much love!
I saw a sticker on someone's prosthetic that said "Leg story: 10 dollars" and i think that is a very funny way to deal with this kind of decision. Mad respect for you : )
Thank you we've used you're videos to learn.
Our son lost his leg in an
accident. He's on the road to recovery, and you have helped, thank you again.
I recall one girl I worked with, had a prosthetic lower leg. Even at the height of summer, we often forgot she even had it! Until she was asked to be a carhop (we worked at Sonic) and she said, “I can’t wear the skates, my foot won’t let me get them on.” That was really the second time I looked down to realize… ‘yeah. That’s a manufactured foot, not a meat foot.’
I saw someone with a prosthetic leg and the metal parts were golden in color and I thought it was really pretty so I told her. It felt kinda weird but honestly I just really liked how it looked.
Yet another way that you are awesome. Thinking 10 steps ahead of where you’re going to be and avoiding development of unhealthy traits; so awesome!
NICE AWESOME SOCKS! I recognize them because I am now matching with you ;D I feel so cool to be a part of a silly little sock club
❤❤❤❤❤
You are so positive and it makes me happy! :)
Are those the February Awesome Sock Club socks?
If they are it’s awesome to see one creator supporting another!
Yess that's just what I thought! I think it's awesome!
You are such an emotionally mature person, and are a wonderful source of information, fun and general life advice.
I’ve seen that sock somewhere. Can’t think where. No matter, it’s still an Awesome sock!
since I was 4 yrs old I had the old school prosthetic leg that I felt like I had to hide from everyone because they treat me differently, the only time I was able to show my prosthetic leg proudly was when I got my new leg (same as yours) just a year ago and it wasn’t easy as well but I managed to overcome the fear of people looking at me like I am a weirdo, thank you for sharing
I think you are simply awesome Jo, don't hide it to save some shallow peoples opinion. What you have endured is something they will never understand, and you have overcome. You are a saint!
I agree, haven't been through it personally, but i love your strength.
Good on you. The more we all are exposed to differences and problems, the more accepted and normailzed they will be. You are helping everyone by taking ownership of this. Stay strong.
I'm disabled with a half-functioning leg in chronic pain. I can wear my knee brace under jeans, but I tend not to.
For me, it's to communicate that I am disabled, since people never expect a young, tall man to be disabled. The other reason is to communicate some kind of strength in weakness.
I can't overcome the pain. I can usually work with it. The sight of the brace makes the times I need accommodation or space to cry a lot easier to get.
I hope the dynamics are similar for you. I'm aware, though, that lots of unfair factors play into these perceptions. Thank you for helping represent.
I get that ... accommodation, space to cry ... I am one of those who have severe issues with noise. It hurts. It hurts badly. Some days I just want to curl up in a tight ball and not to hear anything. Most days I get along as most people remember to be calm and quiet around me. Then the occasional mishap happens - a door slammed, a board closed loudly, a loud sneeze - it drives me nuts with pain and overstimulation. So, I get it and I commend you for enduring and going on. Stay strong!
Jo you are exceptional at these shorts!!
You're amazing! Your shorts explained a lot I've talked to with my uncle..
I think it’s so cute that you are wearing a colorful sock on your nubbin. At first I was surprised that it wasn’t on the the prosthetic foot shell, but come to think of it that really doesn’t have to be kept warm because you can’t really feel it right? Especially when you aren’t wearing it. I am learning so much from you. Thank you for being open about this, when you can 😊
_How to hide a prosthetic leg under clothing?_
I recommend laying the prosthetic down flat, then build a sturdy base of clothing around it to disguise the exact shape and form. I recommend paired and folded socks.
After the base is constructed, use unpaired socks to fill void space, creating a platform level with or slightly higher than the prosthetic.Finally, cover the platform with neatly pressed and folded undergarments, stacked in interlocking bricked formation so there is no chance of seeing between the gaps.
Carefully folding and stacking is far superior to the haphazard pile, as a pile screams of a hurried attempt at obfuscation. A neat stack implies ordered intent. Onlookers will simply think this is a convenient if unconventional way to store clothes.
I love your self confidence.
You are beautiful, inside and out.
I am sure glad that you are back Jo
You're so courageous and wise, I am very proud of you
I’ve felt the same about my epilepsy and taking medication in public or hiding the reason why I can’t drive, safely do certain things (like rollercoasters or late nights). But meeting people around me who also have to bring medication with them on night outs or evening classes and taking them in front of people and videos like this really encourage me to be more accepting of it and less afraid. If anything, trying to secretly take pills causes more trouble (like dropping them) than if I just got on with it. Same goes for trying to hide my anxieties about keeping that side of myself hidden and fears that I’m an inconvenience to those closest to me. Not worth the strife.
Heck No!! Don't hide it,if they can't deal then send them down the road!!! You're a strong woman👍👍👍👍👍
I respect it. A solid choice for you and it really does help with the stigma.
peeped this month’s awesome socks heheh this is my first year joining the club and now i feel like i know a secret😂
I love your confidence.
You are beautiful, inside and out.
Honestly Jo you have such a lovely way of speaking and communicating so intelligently. You could narrate anything and it would be amazing. You've a lovely accent too. Have you thought of story narration? You'd be awesome with such a beautiful voice 🙂👍👍
The matching sock brings me so much joy
The matching funky socks on the foot and the nubbin is just so delightful ^-^
I love your socks, they're really pretty with all the colors! Super important topic too, thank you for answering the question.
This reminds me of when I would wear ripped jeans so my knee brace was visible. Not only am I not ashamed of being disabled, it’s to let other people know too
Hey! Dunno if youll see this but I recently had a bob tail kitten dumped at my house. His name is now Nubbin' and hes outgrowing the older boys like its nothing. 💪❤
Really admire this young woman, a great messenger for those who have physical challenges!🎉🎉🎉
I like that you dont hide it. Awareness is 90% of learning :)
I wear my socket loud and proud. Even if you want to wear a prosthetic eye, it's important for your emotional development to be fine without it.
Awesome socks club, Jo? Love it!
I very strongly agree with you. I'm so thankful I had 2 grandparents who set an example for me to just be me and not care what others think. I have recently become disabled and that is one less thing that I think about.
I really like this video! Also love that you are wearing those "awesome" socks lol
Love the February awesome socks!!!
Very inspiring! Thank you for sharing your point of view 💚
I'm glad you don't hide it. When I saw the title I was thinking why would you? I mean if you are wearing something that covers your leg fine but no need to intentionally hide it.
Beautiful Jo, have no idea how long you've been posting on here but wish I knew you and your insights ,24 years ago.... Why? Because back then. I lived in Denver and frequented Rockies games I especially liked the early afternoon games. And even though I worked 50,60,80hrs per week. leaving work at 10 or 11 to have some food,beer and enjoy a game in the middle of the week. felt like a vacation. There was a strong beautiful tblonde double amputee no prosthetics but owned that stadium on crutches I saw her all the time at our club level seats but never worked up the moxie to approach her If I had .the knowledge and insight that you've provided This 20 year US Marine would have found the courage now I just hope she likes you as much as I do and sees this❤😊
Good for you! Such a healthy attitude. ❤
I love that your socks match!
I would whip out some tools and have fun making add-ons that I could have it light up and get all cyberpunk with it.
On a different note- the colorful sock on your nub is so freaking cute i can't even
Love the colorful sock!
I saw a guy in 5 Guys once who had a Prosthetic. He definitely wasn't trying to hide it. I think I knew about your channel then, I'm not sure!!! If I had one, I wouldn't bother trying to hide it, because I'm sure it would be difficult in some situations, and because it would be a sign of strength, due to what I'd been through (had I lost my leg, or been born that way) I'd embrace it and be proud of how far I'd come!!
I (cis straight) use gender neutral bathrooms for a similar reason. Rn it's assumed u r lgbt+ if you use them. 'Normal' wouldn't have such a narrow definition if all the differences weren't hidden. And people wouldn't feel like hiding their differences if they were accepted as normal. I have clients who hate to use their walkers in public coz they get stared at. Society needs to accommodate.
The awesome socks club socks!! Love this
I am in awe, you are just wonderful
Nubbin socks that match meat foot sock!! I love it!!!
Never hide it. You're awesome
I love how you still wear matching socks.
love that u put a sock on ur stump ❤️ never seen anyone do that
Love the socks!! I recognize them from a pair i too recently got in the mail!!
God, I wish I was like you, because well I’m comfortable telling my friends and family, at least most of my family, and having conversations with them, and letting people, strangers on the Internet know, people I don’t know very well, but still see in public, that’s when I feel the most uncomfortable, and I know I shouldn’t, because it’s nothing to be ashamed of, war feel uncomfortable about, I just can’t get over being nervous and anxious to tell those people, you let the whole world know, how do you have that much confidence, all props to you for having that much confidence, but how, I wish I had so much confidence.
You'd be hard not to notice even without a prosthetic leg, imo. You are radiant.
Thank you for being you. ❤ 😊
Good for you, Jo! I feel exactly the same way about my prosthetic leg, but being a guy, there is one further problem as pants are a real pain to put on and take off, so I opted for wearing my hiking kilts, super comfortable and I usually get very positive comments
Good for you! It's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of
When they did the fitting of my leg, they told me they could make a silicone sleeve to make it look like a "real" leg I flatout refused. I will proudly rock my new cyborg self!
Are these the February awesome socks club socks????? If so, my FAVE crossover!! If not, they are sosososo similar!
I may be the only one in these comments that noticed but, as a fellow awesome socker, they look great on u!
I agree with you. I have one eye but I never thought it was anything to hide. My friend welded his chin to his chest when he was a teenager and never hid that.
No need to hide or be ashamed of a broken body.
Excellent answer please be yourself always
I never had mine either. Makes more sense to keep it open so I can get it off real fast if I need to and more. Just part of life raising a lamb to me. Been cut in half twice anyway, lost in Oregon, and a lady died to make it all happen so I could be alive. I can care less what people think. Just glad to survive another day and that’s what is important.
I'm learning a lot from you sweetheart!!
I can't image asking a random about their prosthesis... Though our local Big Issue vendor volunteered info about it one day, because he's getting new ones and was super happy about that.
Great choice! I would do the same! I don’t hide my figure regardless of size.
ETA…I spent years getting to this point. No embarrassment here. My process!
I feel like a lot of people with visible differences try to hide them because it gets tiring to have people notice them and expect them to have a conversation about it when they just want to get on with their day, especially if they are having a bad day.
I have some visible even when wearing not-revealing clothing scars that I hide whenever possible, and that I'm always conscious and aware of so that I know how to position my body so that people are less likely to notice them, and I go through all that trouble because it's not a topic I want to discuss with people, especially strangers, acquainteces or the like. They're from a really bad period of my life, connected to things I hate thinking about, and it always ruins my day to think about them, or having to lie about how I got them, because the truth is too personal and traumatic to discuss.
i love this answer and as a trans person i can oddly relate. when i first really started transitioning full time covid was in full swing so it was easy to hide my face and avoid judgement for it but when restrictions fell i decided not to keep masking 24/7 as a crutch for my appearance and instead i just mask if it makes sense, if i’m sick or going to be around vulnerable people. like you said i think in the long run it’s better to not psychologically make myself feel a sense of dependency on that.
Semi related story. I deal with crippling social anxiety. Borderline agoraphobia. It comes from being relentlessly bullied in my formative years. My brain constantly tells me people are staring, they're whispering, they hate me. So I died my hair teal. Sidenote: I live in the deep south. Now when I have those intrusive anxiety riddled thoughts in public I've convinced myself they're staring, whispering, and hating.....my hair....not me. The people that like it always say they do and it also brings interesting conversation. Actually, most of my compliments come from old ladies and little girls. My preferred demographic.
I had to watch it twice, I was busy loving on your socks.❤❤ I have a obsession with fun, pretty socks 😅
Dam straight hun. just because your disabled (like me) or differently abled...doesn't mean you should hide to make other people more comfortable. I wear my ostomy bag on the outside of my pants because its more comfortable for me. That being said its ok to hide to be more comfortable if thats what you want. Im more then ok answering the what is that question and I know not everyone is!
Prosthetics are cool! Some people may stare, but to me, they're proof of progress. I'm glad we have functional spare parts available.
Never hide yourself so glad you face this problem and made video to show and tell other that it is ok to show the disability and that It won't make any difference for them
you’re part of the awesome sock club!