I really never heard the “infp’s feelings have memory” before but it makes a lot of sense. I’ve always wondered why I recall my feelings at a certain time in my life rather than the things I accomplished. Because we are so in touch with our feelings, and because crushes evoke the some of the most spectacular of feelings, letting them go is like letting go of something interesting a fun for our minds.
One of the best things I've heard someone say was 'they're not in love with that person; they're in love with the IDEA of that person.' Usually a crush is based off of admiring their looks, status, and interactions. In people's head they begin to idolize and adore what they picture them. Sad reality is we all fall short of perfection (well, most of you mortals do.. not me though). For a real relationship you have to accept someone for who they are - not who you believe they are. Even IF they're 'almost perfect' those smaller things will eventually add up.... and before you know it the way they eat pizza will piss you off. I'm not an INFP but just an observation. xD
I think the idea of idealising comes less from actual idealisation of someone, and more from INFP's somehow being able to see a person's glorious colors. As a dominant INFP, I feel that many times I can - instinctively - see the truest potential of someone, like their best version - that this someone, many times, might not even know it. And somehow I see this as being one of the healing aspects INFP's can bring to the people around: by seeing them as their best version of themselves, and not as they currently are, somehow they help these beings - subconsciously or energetically - to also see themselves more as their glorious self and possibly walk more into that version of themselves.
"Overloved" I know I overloved you darling But congrats I am unloving you Learning to overlook you Step by step And embrace my pieces To be all okay again My heart won't beat for you My breath won't cheat for you And I'll not die for you anymore Will never cry for you anymore I'll learn to walk alone I'll love to talk on my own And I'll live for myself now on It'll take time To accept that the world needs Less love than I have I know I overloved you My darling. ========== There are 500+ similar stuffs in my journal. I don't even like to look back to it anymore.
It was difficult to get over a crush and took me few years. I had to keep on reminding myself about the times he acted like a jerk hahaha. Anyways! That was long time ago 🤣
As an INFP, I've never really had this problem. If there is too much fault to be found, then the reasons themselves become a sort of blueprint that I can "wrap my feelings around". I take comfort in that and take steps to move forward, however short and awkward those steps are A failed crush did make me cry once while I was in highschool, but that's it really. It was dusted off because I understood WHY it didnt work
I associate white cars with my crush*he drove one.* 😂 been hard to let them go because every time I see a white car I think “ wow that could be him “ and the feels flood back ...so ya... working on it
you're not alone, i'm an infp too and this used to happen to me as well. I knew my feelings aren't reciprocated, and because we feel deeply it's hard. I've decided to cut contact until I get over him
As a damaged infp with a near photographic memory. To challenge my minds version vs the actual version is a constant push pull. My crush was my partner of 16 years. Keeping ones mind logical vs the full blown emotional state is a very hard thing to do. Music has always helped me through multiple crushes so I can relate many songs to the state of mind vs the actual person since I've used music for multiple breakups. I agree on not rebounding as a distraction. Because that distraction can become more complex very quickly.
Relatable. Excellent advice. To add to this, keeping yourself busy helps as it distracts you and to practice self-realisation when it hurts that you don't have or are not around them, so you know that your doing it. Then you can begin to detach. The ideal, isn't what's real. What you think a person is, is often not the reality and often the feelings you have are 'fleeting' as those butterflies will go eventually. So it was probably more infatuation than a proper connection you had with somebody that could have turned into a relationship. Realise that when you do finally meet someone you like and they don't fully reciprocate as they aren't who you thought they are, it can hurt. So there's just no point in getting attached to anybody, and when you reach that state of mind, trust me it's freeing and you probably will never want to go back. I'm not saying don't love or never get into a relationship ever again, just don't mentally and emotionally attach yourself to one person by putting them up on a pedestal like your life depends on it. There's a reason less people these days are getting married and more are getting divorced. It often just doesn't work out because of all i've mentioned here.
The song tip is the most "It me" thing I've heard in a while. I'm super guilty of doing that. I had one that went even further, they looked a lot like a fictional character and I associated that character with them. After things didn't work out, I couldn't see that character without seeing them.
Yes, that happens too! Fictional characters, or even two characters’ relationship, can become associated with your crush or the interaction dynamic with your crush.
as always, you hit it right on the nail! i was addicted for a while, its kind of scary. they were literally all I thought about. i didn't think I was capable of thinking so much about someone for so long.
Thanks Breanna! I’m pretty beat up right now tbh, but your video is not only accurate about our type, it also helped me get over heartbreak. God bless.
I’m an ISFJ, and this definitely resonated! I‘d say my experience of crushes is pretty similar to that of INFPs, notably the idealization/ daydreaming, and the songs (a HUGE thing for me). I need to get myself together 😂
After this video, I decide to unfollow on social media my crush of the past. I'm sorry that I have to behave like this, but, even if it's been 4 months that I cut the contact with her, I usually see what she does and It wasn't so helpful for me... It so beautiful when you say that infp have feelings memory... It so true (for me)😭. Thank you for this video, I wish to have done the best thing for me... But I think yes❤️
It’s important that you’re doing it now, though. I really think it will help you. I’ve even had to follow my own advice. When you need to get over someone, the less you see them and know about their current lives the better! Hope for your healing ✨
Right and great! 🍀 Another thing that I found helpful is to have a fantasy scarecrow inside (!= real crush, this is the key)! Just start having a crush on someone you absolutely know that is not your type, AND you won't be able to reach him/her at all (even physically). However, still, you can keep and continue this one-way non-existence relation without any kind of commitment (so you can easily end it without any burden). It both helps us to get out of our current situation more easily and makes it a little bit better in the future to choose someone wisely instead of falling in (controlling that Fi dominant part). As an INFP, it helps me a lot.
This is why I am in such a hard place. I fell in love with someone I was friends with over the last couple years, and they are not single, so I can’t tell them how I feel and I want to just be friends, I don’t want to lose them as a friend. If I cut contact I would lose them as a friend. 😞
thank you so much for making this video. I had this crush for years and once tell the person that I liked her. I was going to end our contact relationship as we used to be best-friend, but then she seemed mad at me after I confessed to her and ended up we keep in touch for several months because I thought I didn't want to leave our relationship in the worst state. then, after months, she indirectly said she liked me back which made me overwhelmed. but, our relationship seems like going on and off, back and forth, and like I don't know. it's just tiring. we are now at break pace. hopefully, one day I could tell her everything that caused us getting misunderstand a lot. I'm sharing my thought and thank you for listening to it. hope you have a good day! owh, she is infj by advance. hehe
Omgggg the way you explained about the songs was really accurate cuz INFP turned out to be deeper in analyzing a deep songs, and somehow it can destroy myself back if I go deep down into the ocean of emotion
I've always struggled going no contact (specifically with exes not crushes), even though my rational side knows this is the most effective strategy. Any advice on how to do so? Can you describe your thought process leading up to this decision? I tend to trick myself into justifying starting up contact again 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
For me, it works if there's an external thing forcing me to cut contact. Just like when I try to limit my time on social media: I can tell myself to do it all I want, but I don't do it until I set a special timer that cuts off my access to the site. My thought process leading up to that specific decision with that INFJ, I was in a lot of mental and emotional pain, and I reached my limit I suppose. Also, like I said, he'd told me he'd started dating someone. I just knew for my own sanity, I had to remove him from my social media so I couldn't contact or see him again. I feel like you might not do it until you reach a final realization that it's destroying you, and you need to do it for your own health.
Infp usually doesnt judge people even by their age, how they look, perfect or not, it sometimes doesnt matter. Thats why it can be good or backfire. We are a walking paradox 😂
![What Qualities Attract Me to A Crush [As An INFP]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/IALe7V9kI58/mqdefault.jpg)
I really never heard the “infp’s feelings have memory” before but it makes a lot of sense. I’ve always wondered why I recall my feelings at a certain time in my life rather than the things I accomplished. Because we are so in touch with our feelings, and because crushes evoke the some of the most spectacular of feelings, letting them go is like letting go of something interesting a fun for our minds.
One of the best things I've heard someone say was 'they're not in love with that person; they're in love with the IDEA of that person.' Usually a crush is based off of admiring their looks, status, and interactions. In people's head they begin to idolize and adore what they picture them. Sad reality is we all fall short of perfection (well, most of you mortals do.. not me though). For a real relationship you have to accept someone for who they are - not who you believe they are. Even IF they're 'almost perfect' those smaller things will eventually add up.... and before you know it the way they eat pizza will piss you off. I'm not an INFP but just an observation. xD
I think the idea of idealising comes less from actual idealisation of someone, and more from INFP's somehow being able to see a person's glorious colors. As a dominant INFP, I feel that many times I can - instinctively - see the truest potential of someone, like their best version - that this someone, many times, might not even know it. And somehow I see this as being one of the healing aspects INFP's can bring to the people around: by seeing them as their best version of themselves, and not as they currently are, somehow they help these beings - subconsciously or energetically - to also see themselves more as their glorious self and possibly walk more into that version of themselves.
"Overloved"
I know I overloved you darling
But congrats I am unloving you
Learning to overlook you
Step by step
And embrace my pieces
To be all okay again
My heart won't beat for you
My breath won't cheat for you
And I'll not die for you anymore
Will never cry for you anymore
I'll learn to walk alone
I'll love to talk on my own
And I'll live for myself now on
It'll take time
To accept that
the world needs
Less love than I have
I know I overloved you
My darling.
==========
There are 500+ similar stuffs in my journal. I don't even like to look back to it anymore.
Omg this is so stunning and right on the money. 😭
I really love this
ty
👏👏👏
It was difficult to get over a crush and took me few years. I had to keep on reminding myself about the times he acted like a jerk hahaha. Anyways! That was long time ago 🤣
Yea no contact seems to be the only thing that works. Stopping cold turkey
As an INFP, I've never really had this problem. If there is too much fault to be found, then the reasons themselves become a sort of blueprint that I can "wrap my feelings around". I take comfort in that and take steps to move forward, however short and awkward those steps are
A failed crush did make me cry once while I was in highschool, but that's it really. It was dusted off because I understood WHY it didnt work
I associate white cars with my crush*he drove one.* 😂 been hard to let them go because every time I see a white car I think “ wow that could be him “ and the feels flood back ...so ya... working on it
Is it normal to wanting to cry every time you see your crush or it is just me? Because i know i will not be with him anyway..
you're not alone, i'm an infp too and this used to happen to me as well. I knew my feelings aren't reciprocated, and because we feel deeply it's hard. I've decided to cut contact until I get over him
I´ve had a crush on a guy like for 6 years i mean, it´s part of my identity
As a damaged infp with a near photographic memory. To challenge my minds version vs the actual version is a constant push pull. My crush was my partner of 16 years. Keeping ones mind logical vs the full blown emotional state is a very hard thing to do. Music has always helped me through multiple crushes so I can relate many songs to the state of mind vs the actual person since I've used music for multiple breakups. I agree on not rebounding as a distraction. Because that distraction can become more complex very quickly.
Relatable. Excellent advice. To add to this, keeping yourself busy helps as it distracts you and to practice self-realisation when it hurts that you don't have or are not around them, so you know that your doing it. Then you can begin to detach. The ideal, isn't what's real. What you think a person is, is often not the reality and often the feelings you have are 'fleeting' as those butterflies will go eventually. So it was probably more infatuation than a proper connection you had with somebody that could have turned into a relationship.
Realise that when you do finally meet someone you like and they don't fully reciprocate as they aren't who you thought they are, it can hurt. So there's just no point in getting attached to anybody, and when you reach that state of mind, trust me it's freeing and you probably will never want to go back. I'm not saying don't love or never get into a relationship ever again, just don't mentally and emotionally attach yourself to one person by putting them up on a pedestal like your life depends on it. There's a reason less people these days are getting married and more are getting divorced. It often just doesn't work out because of all i've mentioned here.
tysm
The song tip is the most "It me" thing I've heard in a while. I'm super guilty of doing that. I had one that went even further, they looked a lot like a fictional character and I associated that character with them. After things didn't work out, I couldn't see that character without seeing them.
Yes, that happens too! Fictional characters, or even two characters’ relationship, can become associated with your crush or the interaction dynamic with your crush.
AAAAAAAAA SAMEEEEEEEEE
as always, you hit it right on the nail! i was addicted for a while, its kind of scary. they were literally all I thought about. i didn't think I was capable of thinking so much about someone for so long.
Thanks Breanna! I’m pretty beat up right now tbh, but your video is not only accurate about our type, it also helped me get over heartbreak. God bless.
I’m an ISFJ, and this definitely resonated! I‘d say my experience of crushes is pretty similar to that of INFPs, notably the idealization/ daydreaming, and the songs (a HUGE thing for me). I need to get myself together 😂
After this video, I decide to unfollow on social media my crush of the past. I'm sorry that I have to behave like this, but, even if it's been 4 months that I cut the contact with her, I usually see what she does and It wasn't so helpful for me... It so beautiful when you say that infp have feelings memory... It so true (for me)😭. Thank you for this video, I wish to have done the best thing for me... But I think yes❤️
It’s important that you’re doing it now, though. I really think it will help you. I’ve even had to follow my own advice. When you need to get over someone, the less you see them and know about their current lives the better!
Hope for your healing ✨
Right and great!
🍀 Another thing that I found helpful is to have a fantasy scarecrow inside (!= real crush, this is the key)!
Just start having a crush on someone you absolutely know that is not your type, AND you won't be able to reach him/her at all (even physically). However, still, you can keep and continue this one-way non-existence relation without any kind of commitment (so you can easily end it without any burden).
It both helps us to get out of our current situation more easily and makes it a little bit better in the future to choose someone wisely instead of falling in (controlling that Fi dominant part).
As an INFP, it helps me a lot.
This is why I am in such a hard place.
I fell in love with someone I was friends with over the last couple years, and they are not single, so I can’t tell them how I feel and I want to just be friends, I don’t want to lose them as a friend. If I cut contact I would lose them as a friend. 😞
Perfect timing; I needed this...! You're a Godsend.
That's great when timing works out like that. You're welcome!
thank you so much for making this video. I had this crush for years and once tell the person that I liked her. I was going to end our contact relationship as we used to be best-friend, but then she seemed mad at me after I confessed to her and ended up we keep in touch for several months because I thought I didn't want to leave our relationship in the worst state. then, after months, she indirectly said she liked me back which made me overwhelmed. but, our relationship seems like going on and off, back and forth, and like I don't know. it's just tiring. we are now at break pace. hopefully, one day I could tell her everything that caused us getting misunderstand a lot. I'm sharing my thought and thank you for listening to it. hope you have a good day! owh, she is infj by advance. hehe
Could of used this advice in high school when I was CRUSHED for like, 6 months! 🤣
Omgggg the way you explained about the songs was really accurate cuz INFP turned out to be deeper in analyzing a deep songs, and somehow it can destroy myself back if I go deep down into the ocean of emotion
These are all things I have learned from experience. This is some very good advice.
hey this video was for me....15 years ago
this video helped me to develop my creative writing and think positively, thanks
That's great news! Thanks for sharing
Thank you so much!
Just went no contact with someone I had a thing with and feelings for but they were unrequited.
This video was very helpful!
Thank you soo much! This is just what i need
You’re welcome!
I wonder if anyone unsubbed from your channel after listening to your first piece of advice XD
Wow, it took me a minute to get that. 😅😂 I hope not 🥺
“Cut contact is the best advice”… but it’s soooo hard!! :(
HOLY SHIT MOTHER OF GOD I feel like you know me in person. damn. And thank you♥️
You’re most welcome! 😁
Lol thank you, perfect timing! Love this vid!
Thank you! Hope it’s helpful 😊
I've always struggled going no contact (specifically with exes not crushes), even though my rational side knows this is the most effective strategy. Any advice on how to do so? Can you describe your thought process leading up to this decision? I tend to trick myself into justifying starting up contact again 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
For me, it works if there's an external thing forcing me to cut contact. Just like when I try to limit my time on social media: I can tell myself to do it all I want, but I don't do it until I set a special timer that cuts off my access to the site. My thought process leading up to that specific decision with that INFJ, I was in a lot of mental and emotional pain, and I reached my limit I suppose. Also, like I said, he'd told me he'd started dating someone. I just knew for my own sanity, I had to remove him from my social media so I couldn't contact or see him again. I feel like you might not do it until you reach a final realization that it's destroying you, and you need to do it for your own health.
I want them in my life I just can’t have these feelings for certain reasons
Helpful :) Thank you
tysm. i need this
What to do if you already overshared lofe experiences with your crush?
I’m not sure what you’re asking, like how to get over them if you’ve shared a lot together?
@@MeAnINFP i am sorry I can't express this with proper words lol😅
@@MeAnINFPbut i found your videos a lot helpful thank you 😅
Do you think when I get over my crush. When I got my selfsteam back I can contact her? Cause I have to work someplace she is there :''
Full no contact huh?
th-cam.com/video/IetcXhv83gQ/w-d-xo.html
Yessss
Imagine your crush is your cousin.. 🤔 wtf
Infp usually doesnt judge people even by their age, how they look, perfect or not, it sometimes doesnt matter.
Thats why it can be good or backfire.
We are a walking paradox 😂
I have a crush on you, should I unsubscribe now?
Stay subscribed 🙃
Oh wait? I’m contradicting myself...That’s great to hear such a compliment though.
@@MeAnINFP you have a boyfriend?
@@MeAnINFP I need you to reject me so I can use this video's advice.