Are We Having Problems? | Marital Counseling
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.ย. 2024
- This is an Official Cole & Charisma Video Of: Are We Having Problems? | Marital Counseling
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About Cole & Charisma:
Welcome to the official Roll with Cole & Charisma TH-cam channel! Since the start of our relationship we've gotten a lot of questions about our experiences as not only an interracial couple, but an interabled one as well. On this channel you can catch us doing travel and adventure vlogs, challenges, our inclusion series, couple first times, music, and so much more! We started this vlog to bring people into our lives, to answer some questions about how we navigate the world, and hopefully raise awareness surrounding accessibility and dating in a wheelchair. You'll quickly see in our episodes that we're all about inclusion and keeping a great attitude no matter your circumstances, so if that's what you're into, you're in the right place!
Thanks for watching! We’re here to normalize counseling! If you’re willing to share, we’d love to hear about your experiences and if it helped you, too.
💕 Thank you for normalizing this! Love you guys!
Love your videos and hopefully to do a collaboration
We didn’t go to counseling not because we were against counseling but because we really wanted to be married to each other. We just kind of figured it out together. Plus we had two great mothers in our lives which were very supportive.💖👍
I agree with every thing that u said. It really opened my eye.. Thanks for sharing. Am looking forward to counseling. ❤✌N STAY POSITIVE
Thank you I have learn alot yallneed to be our marriage counselor serious I have been saying the wrong thing to my fiance like you need to take the trash out instead I should says I need you take the trash out quit beening so demanding I am going to work on me thank you he trying to be patient and dont says nothing but I am going to do better thank you and stay positive and stay safe and healthy love ya
We have been married 48 years. Does not feel like it , time flies. Up and downs but compromise is essential.
...together for 28 and married for 13. You are right on target.
Married 14trs and you are so right compromise is everything...and laugh often.
ditto, there has to be a balance, like yin and yang.
I think most counselors would rather you come see them while you still like each other 😆
Yea once you turn on each other then the counselor turns more into a referee who will spend a lot of time trying to diffuse the explosive arguments
We agree!
This really makes sense. I learn a lot everyday from here
Not a counselor but I think that would be a true statement.
Exactly
An impartial third party is providing you with tools to help you communicate better and maintain a healthy relationship. You are not perfect and this is a sign you are in it to win it.
I wish I had a Charisma in my life, her smile, her voice, he love for Cole and her passion for life.
You guys just make me happy ❤
As a couples counselor, I really appreciate you normalizing going to counseling! I see people who have experienced a lot of bad stuff who wished they had done couples counseling before they got to the spot they are currently in...
"You become a better person when you heal yourself." Amen.
Oh yeah👍
I think that therapy is great for everything from marriage, to money, family, work etc. You don't ignore a cavity and wait for your face falls off, you go to a professional to find out what's going on and take care of yourself in the future.
I feel called out😂 I had a HORIFFIC experience at the dentist, so I haven't went back unfortunately. My tooth is killing me, ibuprofen, acetaminohen, and Aleve all day and night.
Britney Papola you better go fast, because that shit dangerous wit those rotten tooth
Wow! Sophie looks great. His haircut looks like a teddy bear. Really nice.
i’ll just wait till “my face falls off”
@@dontaskdonttell_ ...please go ASAP. You don’t wan’t to get an infection that can get in your blood stream and affect your heart. Teeth and gum health are very important to your overall health.
Therapy of any kind should be normalized, even counseling for a relationship to make sure it survives through the tough times in a healthy way.
Marriage counselling is important. My husband went for a year before we married. Sophie looks adorable!
I luv the term charisma used “balance”, we all need that
I was one of those that didn’t want someone to tell me what to do or how I feel. 4 years into my marriage we were having issues and it’s because I was stubborn. My husband wanted to do counseling but I was sooooo stubborn. I finally caved and we went for about a year. It was probably the best thing I could do. Fast forward almost 20 years and I’m soooo happily married. If a marriage is struggling I would highly recommend counseling and making sure the person you see is a good match and really understands you individually and as a couple!!
I love how open and honest y'all are. Also, I love how you two look at each other when the other is talking; y'all don't overtalk one another. That's very important!
Yea read books, go to retreats etc even when you don’t have problems. It’s a consistent growth within marriage. Waiting til you have problems is not good.
I do endorse this comment
Your beautiful
I feel like a had a free therapy session just listening to you guys… I’m not in a romantic relationship, but I can apply this to all of my other relationships! Thanks 🙏🏾
Having an impartial unbiased help is great. A lot of people don’t realize small “problems” that everyone pushes aside, sometimes without consciously doing so, which can build.
I think personally everyone should do pre marriage counseling and even through the marriage if needed.. so I find it interesting that people think you must have marriage problems, if you go to counseling.
It's kinda sad. My mom is a social worker and she's always taught me the importance of seeking professional help if needed, but tbh I know that our system in the US isn't perfect so many that DO seek help, get horrible counseling experiences that discourage them from continuing, or it's too expensive, OR people think if you go to a professional it's because you're at your end. Really we should be taught this as children, how to connect with others, how to treat ourselves and others kindly, how to empathize and sympathize etc. But since most of us aren't we learn our relationship skills from our environments and from what we see, I wish it was a part of public education curriculum- how to connect with others properly, how to have good communication skills, it would save us so much heartache!
@@NatKatnails amen!
As a counseling psychologist, am glad you said it. I keep on empowering people here in Kenya that you do not have to have problems to see a psychologist 😅. Thank you Charisma and Cole for the empowering people globally 💪🏽😄
When our girls became adults, and now mommies, the Mr and I decided if we ever offered advice we would phrase it "Have you considered trying....." our middle daughter just told me last week that she has never felt like her daddy and I have ever told her what to do or taken away her power as an adult. That was one of the single proudest moments of being a parent to me
We loveeeeee this!!
@@coleandcharisma great dialogue right I love this. We are never to old to learn. Thank you guys❤
@@lifeofgrandmadesiswearinge9377 hi
I love your channel, I found your channel at the right moment in my life. I was drifting as disabled person. I started to accept life and wasnt living as independently as I could. I agree with couples counselling, I think we need to learn how to grow together and work together better. I've had counselling for my cerebral palsy, I'm. Soon getting counselling for my adoption issues, I think conselling is not just there to fix things when their is a problem, but make better and easier so they don't become a problem. Your videos inspire and motivate me to be a better person as well as being really cute fun and enjoyable. Love your channel. Living with cerebral palsy from the UK.
I was diagnosed with Depression and PTSD at a very young age. And it's still difficult sometimes. I was with a birth defect, I've had deal with my life, I've also been stared and made fun of and even been bad names!!!! And it REALLY SUCKS!!!!!! But I've learned together through it. Ive been through A LOT!!!!!! I'M A SURVIVOR and A FIGHTER!!!!!!
A well tuned counselor can help any marriage along to a more perfect union. You get to learn as individuals and a couple, to be better people, better friends and hopefully, better partners. Good on ya!
As a counselor, this was so great to hear you both share how helpful counseling has been to your relationship and communications with one another!! Thank you!! And kudos for being willing to get help!😍
Cole looks like a Ken doll especially with that sweater across his back.
The vineyard vine vest too
@@bostonlatina lol
Love counselling....it's important for one's mental health.
Omg he is Ken! But like the cool Ken.
We did spiritual counseling before marriage and once in a while we check in. It's a beautiful thing and it keeps us both grounded and help us to keep God at the forefront of our marriage. I wish everyone would do spiritual marriage counsel it would save a lot of marriages. We aren't having any issues but we just like to attend the meeting and listen to couples that have been married for over 20 years speak about what keeps them going.
Amenn!!!
Amen!!
such a great thing to do especially while you're young, so happy that you guys appreciate and acknowledge therapy and the importance of mental health and marital bliss being intertwined
Hi Cole and Charisma, you both are so inspirational with you positivity, I am amazed because you both are so young. Your message of positivity and unconditional love speaks volumes.I feel that you both have found your calling, the world needs to hear your message as often as you can air it and speak at engagements. I am just blown away by the both of you. I appreciate your message and work.
I truly enjoy your blog. Its wonderful to see two people from such different background and yet seem so together. Only God could do such a beautiful miracle. You two are an inspiration to us all no matter what age. I'm learning from you at age 80. Thank you for your faith and love for each other. You inspire us. GOD BLESS YOU. I have a sofie too. She is a half pint. Love ,peace and joy.
That cut matches Sophie's personality. She's precious.
You hit the "You need" thing 100% on the head. I find people do that to me. It really gets under my skin. To say that I get defensive is an understatement. So glad it's not just me. Txs so much.
I love love love that you are promoting therapy (mental wellness) before there is a "problem" thank you!!!
I just love your relationship and the love, respect, consideration and honesty between the two of you! I could go on and on about all the traits but your relationship is so raw and honest and you bring that to the camera as well which is just so amazing to see 😭 I hope one day I find a love that’s as genuine and pure as yours.❤️
I love this! You become a better person to other people when you heal yourself! THAT IS GOLDEN!
You work on your health to keep from having problems, you pay your bills to keep from having problems, you do preventive maintenance on your car to keep from having problems, etc...why not have the same mindset for your marriage!! BRAVO to you guys!!!
You go to counseling so whatever problems comes up the marriage will be able to weather the storm. 💖👍
Couseling does not equal automatic perfect marriage... I have seen many times where couples had counseling, therapy ...and they still split ... so yeah
@@onlylikemindedbw I mean... no offense but that's very obvious. Of course couples that have gone to therapy and counseling have still split. But we don't prioritize education in a lot of things here (like socializing, emotional, mental health, self control/meditation, empathy etc) and when were we ever educated how to treat our significant others or how to be successful in a relationship? Unless your family members were in the field probably none of us have that knowledge. So going to counseling only gives you the tools and skills you need to help a relationship succeed. They carry on into your whole life bc they usually teach you communication and listening skills, empathy practices, etc. Very useful stuff not just for couples!
@@NatKatnails you shouldn’t even respond to rayne. He/she is a troll. He/she made a rude comment to me and my comment was innocent and respectful as yours was.
Why wait until you are knee deep in issues to work on your marriage. You work on your marriage throughout your marriage. I have even taken a wives course at my church to see WiFe-Ing through a different perspective and we have gone on couples retreats and cruises. You surround yourself in like minded circles so that you can maximize your marriage. Before we had our 6 year old we went to counseling to talk us through whether we were ready to get pregnant again and we already had a 15 year old and 8 year old. Marriage and family is constant work.
Smart. Smart you guys. Learning how to be in a marriage is not as intuitive as people assume. Really smart.
“...and Cole plays rocket league for 3 hours!” I can totally relate to this statement bc my boyfriend plays this game almost every night but I am so glad that he does because it’s important to have alone time, him and myself, everyday!
My husband and I have been doing counseling for over a year now and it has brought us so much more understanding of each other to have someone to help guide discussions about things that happened during the week. It reminds us that whatever happens to either of us is a situation that affects both of us and something to tackle together. Our counselor has always said how wonderful it is to see and hear our bond... and that he can see how we are two piece of a puzzle even during hardships, because of that bond. He helped maintain and grow that bond because he allowed us a safe space to work but also recognize each other and our love.
Never wait for counseling. I love my husband and I would never leave... it doesn't mean there isn't room for more growth, love, dedication, understanding, balance. They are there for that too, not just to fix a problem. 💕
You guys are an inspiration for me. I've been watching you guys for a few days now and it has cheered me up so much. So much joy I can feel from a distance. (I just lost my dad for covid) and just want to say thank you for sharing hope, joy and what God has put on your hands to touch others! God bless your journey.
Learning that love is mercy and discipline is very important. Self discipline and setting healthy boundaries.
I think my dog is a little bit in love with your dog...many kisses given to the screen !
I wish my boyfriend was understanding of how important therapy is, he is against that type stuff. You guys are inspirational
Get a new boyfriend. Therapy isn't a bad thing. The people who go to therapy are willing to learn, grow, and change.
Your boyfriend hates that, he's afraid to run into himself, and look at himself in the mirror. He prefers to be in denial and ignore his mistakes. And sees it as a weakness and unmanly. That's what most men think about. They think they are weak when they do.
On the flip side of that, I cant get my wife to therapy to save my life I think it would be beneficial to the both of us as we both have communication issues, maybe she will give in one day 🤷♂️🤷♂️
Sometimes it’s really hard to open up to people, especially strangers. Hopefully he comes around to the idea
@@coleandcharisma i’ve been trying to go but don’t have the money to afford it so i’m trying to get appealed for a free clinic but nobody will take me 🤷🏽♀️
Everyone needs someone to listen and to grow.
Just saw another video on relationships and something that they advise is when you want someone to do something to start off the request with "Would you be willing to?......"
You guys are wise beyond your years. So glad that you both are surrounded by positive people and vibes. You’re on the right path. God’s blessing 🙏🏾❤️
Kudos to you both for a really healthy take on therapy. And my may I say your energy and love for each other is super apparent in the way you guys interact on camera. So nice.
Even though its couples therapy, it helps personal reflection and aids with how to view and vocalise your own problems xx
Been married 23yrs and have been to a couples retreat/ therapy. The main reason we went is because as a Vet with a whole lot of issues, I had to figure out how to deal with it. Good luck to you both
Marital Counseling...WELL DONE!! Been married for 54 years...still wish we had done (or would do) marital counseling!!! God bless your union.
The two persons who didn't like this video, they need counselling, in my opinion. What is in this video not to like. Cole, I am 61 yrs old and you encourage me a lot to get up and go especially when I feel achy. All the best to you and Charisma
It's not me ma'am, just wanted to say unfortunately ppl aren't going to always have the same opinions and thoughts that's just how it is 🤷
@@wandaprather1960 lol. You repeated what I said “in my opinion”. I clearly understood what you meant though
I’m all for therapy especially if/when the relationship still means something to both parties. I dated a guy for 5 years. Although, he was good to me monetarily he could only see things from his own perspective. Because he was a good person he couldn’t see the wrong in anything that he was doing. It was always me. I mentioned therapy. His response was that he might go one day. I informed him that we needed to go together so it would help us to understand each other and how to work through our differences. That was a no. Needless to say we’re no longer together. I commend you two for getting therapy together.
"I NEED TO " continue to pray for and thank God for young power couples like yourself. So well spoken...thoughtfully honest ♥️
Your openness and straight-forward approach is refreshing. The advice shared is gold. Lastly, Sophie looks wonderful.
My son and his wife is in a similar situation, my daughter in law was in a car accident and had spinal cord injuries. I think couples therapy would be great for them. Glad I stumbled upon your TH-cam page.
You are an amazing couple
❤️❤️
Such wisdom in your youth! Thanks for sharing this and normalizing and supporting counseling. I’m a big believer in it also. All my best to you both!!
❤️🙏🏼❤️
Our priest always says that whenever you point your finger at someone there are always three fingers pointing back at you. That’s always stuck with me! Happy you both are so proactive and actively participating in your relationship. It’s truly a lifelong partnership. God bless
You both NEED to stop being so adorable! 😍 honestly i love the two of you so much! I love to watch the respect and love between you two! You make me so happy! May God continue to bless your marriage and your families!!!❤
I see unconditional love, when I see you both. I love the closeness.🥰
You two are such a Blessing (individually and together) to this world!! ❤❤
Thank you for sharing your experience! I think sharing this helps destigmatize counseling in general, and as a mental health advocate, I just wanted to personally thank you! It’s awesome that y’all have such great communication and willingness to work together. Wishing you the best!
Here I am, after having bingewatched all of your videos in the last 4 days, exited for this new update 😂
Keep it up guys, you re aMaZiNg!!
I have a friend who is a men's relationship counselor and he told me most people avoid therapy until there is a problem. He said maintenance and prevention is the best course of action as it stops or prevents problems from forming. This is a great video where they share this and break the negative outlook on therapy.
I’m so glad that you guys discussed this topic.
It was great listening to you both by the way.
Counseling can actually be beneficial for everyone, not just those who specifically need it to treat issues .
Sometimes, sifting through your emotions is hard to do on your own.
It is important for all of us to realize that counseling and any kind of mental health treatment is a healthy action for everybody. A little counseling can help everyone to improve in their everyday life.
Thank you guys for sharing this.
I really enjoyed watching 😍
I'm trying to get more comfortable with therapy since my husband wants to do it for maintenance and building great communication with each other. Not sure why I'm so uncomfortable expressing myself to a therapist. This inspired me ❤ love u guys
God Bless you both. It's really great when a man sees the importance of therapy usually its women but this is great. Keep praying that God opens your heart and protects your union.
I wish my husband was on board with marriage counseling and learning to communicate better .... you guys are very inspiring about counseling
I think during this lock down everyone is finding things very hard. Well done for getting help
Therapy is a great idea. Regarding when people would tell me I needed to do something, I would smile, say "thank you" and go along my merry way! :)
No we're not having marital problems well how does this stranger know because I just do🤣🤣🤣🤣 I know WISE young people when I hear them speak.. Love you all from Jersey ❤❤ yep WISE enough to know COUNSELING is PARAMOUNT. I love how Charisma looks at Cole like a biscuit with gravy 🤣🤣🤣
😐
Like a biscuit with gravy 🤣
As a straight man. I can say he is quite handsome. No idea why straight men cannot recognize a man's beauty.
Love you guys! Sophie is so adorable, the perfect companion for you guys. I really love the way you look at each other.
I totally agree with going to counseling to be able to face problems and have the tools to go through tough times. I took counseling before my kids became teenagers and it really helped. ❤❤
Always talking and communicate and 🌠and understanding sharing and more talking, Sometimes theirs going to be disagreements and misunderstandings that's what makes you newlyweds strong in this beautiful 💖loving relationship 💖
P.S. I *love* Cole's hair at this length...I bet it would even be cute a bit longer...😊❤
His front curls are adorable..😁
Totally agree that going to the counselor is so much better BEFORE issues get bigger. And the benefit of strengthening your bond to our spouses is so vital.
I just love you two. Do whatever steps you need to do to stay together.
It is great that you do as I said long ago on one of your videos. Communication is key to a marriage. If you do not have disagreements then there is a problem.
There must be compromise, sit and speak to each other without judging each other. One speak one listens till one is done. Then the other does the same. To not be defensive or ashamed to speak about anything! No matter what please take one day a week and have a date night. Grow together not separately again be open honest with respect and love for each other. Take time to pray together yes I said pray together. Once a week read your Bible together. Remember we are not nor ever will be perfect. We not ment to be. We all have weakness but where one is week in something the other picks you up and say I got cha you I Love You.
No no no never attack as I said listen no makes you feel the way you do accept yourself. If you allow anyone to anger you then you loose. Always say I need to talk use this is bother me but I feel like that way they listen and respond knowing how you feel.
Always respect each other learn not to let anything hold inside. I hope all is going well with Sophie she's beautiful ❤️.
Just remember your what you said to each other when you say "I Do", together we can get through anything if you have Faith, Hope, Love there's nothing together you can not do. May God who brought you together always remind you that again we are not perfect but never say I'm fine when your not the only way to fix it is be honest. Everything I said is from learning together of 21 years to grow together and ask how was your day, take time again once a week for just each other and share everything. God Bless You and Keep You Always knowing Love will always shine through being honest uplifting never tearing down. Blessings indeed. PS in no way to I mean to tell either of you what to do I speak with Faith Hope Love for both of you for sharing your lives. For together we learn from each other and together we can help each other. Hey just a thought I know you have sophie as a service dog but a companion as well. Maybe get a smaller dog for moma to have a sweet companion to which sophie may like as well. With true respectfulness keep uplift each other.
Can almost see when the coffee kicked in. 😂
😂😂 exactly ❤❤ she is so cute. So is Cole. They make such a great couple
Love this. Both willing to face their own shadow rather than project it onto each other. This is a healthy union. Very inspiring. 💯
Counseling helps you heal and give your self love and nurturing.
Your both doing amazing. I’ve been married 40 years this year 2022. You never stop learning and growing. Communication is a key…talk. God Bless you.
me and my wife went to a counselor one time. the first question out of his mouth was "do you want to stay together?" We said yes, and left. still together, and we didn't have to spend a lot. 😁
Charisma, you are definitely my girl. So mature. You guys are perfect for each other.
Hey much love from Trinidad and Tobago 🇹🇹😝❤️
Everytime I watch you guys I smile. You are so positive. Blessings
Haven’t watched this yet but I think counseling is good.... just read the top comment!! Much love for you too!
My parents raised me different than my husband's parent's raised him. You're right when you bring 2 different ppl together from two different worlds it's a big adjustment. We had some rough years and we had counseling and it does help to discuss with someone in between to merge two different ppl together. We will be married 34 years next month. Aww them bows too cute.
I was just watching one of ur videos.. saying to myself just missing them when r they going to upload a new video. Then i got the notification wow.. Luv u guys
Hey we just wanted to let yall know that we followed your lead and got a maternity pillow for my husband its working perfectly for rolling at night
Sophie is so cute, can’t wait to see how she looks after the grooming
Counseling helps you learn about yourself and each other better. You guys are a wonderful couple.
I’m so proud of you two! And you too, Sofie... You are a lovely couple/family. 💕
You guys have that something special. To change yourself for the better in your marital relationship to make your relationship stronger is one of the best things you can do to strengthen your marital bond. I admire you and your attitudes and cheerfulness which are strong characteristics for a positive, healthy, loving marriage. What a great foundation for your future children. God Bless you always....
Never clicked this fast🤩
Much love for you from Ghana ❤️❤️❤️
I have noticed that Cole has really matured a lot since your wedding.
Charisma, you crack me up. What was in that coffee????
Sophie is such a sweetie.
Your hair looks great, Cole. Cute Superman curl. LOL
Cole your already looking like a daddy,charisma I'm going to pray today for your twin babies.Really happy for you.
wow this was very informative and i like those rewording tips!!
After 34 years of marriage this is good advise. I agree people send a couple to counseling before a problem. Thanks for sharing.
It’s so funny that you both mentioned your therapy session, I had a similar conversation with my grandson! Great Day for him and I ♥️
My son sees one periodically to help voice his feelings to a third party and help him organize his thoughts. We call him his coach. We all need a coach from time to time.
I came to this Chanel so fast.I was like say what now 🥺
I so agree with you both. It has been mind-boggling to me that "therapy" is seen as something you do to "fix" a problem, rather than to "prevent" the risk of a problem, and that is why so many marriages fail. I applaud you all. I have always believed everyone, every family needs therapy, not just for the rich and famous as we see on TV. Kudos to you, keep doing you! My blessings to you both, Ludmilla