Nice guy habits you need to stop NOW
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 พ.ค. 2024
- Being a nice guy doesn't mean you should allow women or people in general to walk all over you. There are habits that are keeping you from reaching your best potential. Kick those habits to the curb!
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00:00 - Intro
02:52 - Habit 1
05:15 - Habit 2
06:38 - Habit 3
09:46 - Habit 4
As someone whose been called too nice. I’m learning to change. Mission: Put yourself first. Value yourself. Have self respect and set boundaries!!!! Very crucial vid💯
Very good.
Good. Me too.
Good, i have learned, am going to change
Just because you put yourself first doesn't mean you wouldn't be a little bitch.
e.g.
"I'm about to be in a stressful situation so I'll just put myself first and not do what I should do because it's safer and feels better. I won't walk up and talk to that attractive woman."
Or...
"I value myself so I'll just stay at home and play video games or watch T.V. because I don't want to get hurt or die."
Nice guys are nice because they're cowards and have no other choice but to be nice. If you want to not be a coward, then you should do things despite being afraid to do them even if it means putting yourself at risk.
Men who aren't nice and are capable of speaking up against the group or whatever are men who have proven themselves capable. In other words, men who have been through some hard shit that was tough, challenging, grueling, or anything difficult and lived through it and gained valuable experience from it to the point they can inspire others to push themselves to those limits and beyond as well.
I think that a lot of people don't get that some people are genuinely nice.
I am not a people pleaser. It actually pleases me to be helpful.
Some of us were raised to be selfless like Jesus and put others needs before our own. Self sacrificing.
Some of us simply do not have the energy to start a fight. Not because we are scared but it's not how I want to spend my day. So if I tell a woman what wrong and we fight about it sometimes I just want peace.
I know I can hurt her with my words and it can take her to a mental institution if I was honest and trying hurt her the way she try to hurt me. So I'll rather allow the disrespect because I don't want to be the reason for someone elses trauma. Best thing to do is to abandon disrespectful women... Out of empathy no not because I am scared of fighting. So I am usually conflict avoidant with a woman that is headstrong. So I come off as a push over with these type of women.
I simply have a very high tolerance for bullshit. Empathetic to a fault.
I have dealt with my anger issues so much that I can't remember the last time I was angry because my anger can drown me. I can get angry to a point where I can feel the bitter taste in my throat. So from a very young age I knew my anger could either kill me or hurt someone else so I changed from one extreme to another extreme.
All of these set me up to be taken advantage of with the wrong woman.
I remember in high school I use to hear girls say this about me out loud to people “he’s weird, he so nice, and text me good morning beautiful every morning.” And those same girls that treated me like that now got 5 to 6 kids and a few baby fathers who don’t even help them. I lost the battle but I won that WAR 😌
Amen brother 👏🏽
In the end nice guys win. I can’t change myself and taint my character in need to win a narcissist heart.
@@boxoffisa fa sho 💙
Yes it's not about losing the battle but wining the war
That’s right good for you.
Setting healthy boundaries will automatically make you seem like a bad boy. What changed for me is that I started noticing how much my qualities of being nice to others was actually affecting my self esteem, my confidence, my opinions, even my right to speak up. Once you see how it affects you will start making steps to better your self
many don't recognize how it affects them
Thanks Very much my Dear ❤️❤️💯💯💯
Hi sis... You were talking about me, I was in that category for many years, and trust me it is killing me until I learn to say no, I learn to look after myself. Being a nice guy will never make anyone love you more instead you are being used. Thank you!
The best video I have watched in a long while...thank you Jessica.
Wow, madam what a gift you are, thanks so very much for this session life changing indeed
I love this,I've been a nice guy and has been used and stupid to some friends and families, trying to please people has been my greatest problem.
Today,I turn a new leaf
Forget that stay blessed
Anyone who doesn't like nice is EVIL
Matthew 5:9
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Maintain a nice peaceful atmosphere around you I've seen evil mean women desperately in need of what the nice guy has been abundantly blessed with
So Being nice is a position of strength that comes with being blessed just keep an uncompromised vision of what u want
The being nice part irritates the evil ones when they can't manipulate you
Being nice myself with abundance I see many mistake my kindness for weakness they're predictable a mile a way & I win every argument by what makes the most sense
@@rondavid7413Don't give up on your inner self to become like Them. Be happy.
The 4 Nice-Guy Habits to STOP are:
1. PEOPLE PLEASING thus living by IMPOSSIBLE standards.
2. Too much AGREEABLENESS, which kills your INDIVIDUALITY.
3. SAYING YES to everyone's requests thus allowing EXPLOITATION.
4. Failing to STAND UP for yourself when insulted/harmed/threatened.
Adios.
@Hutton Patricia May all be well in your second try of the relationship.
Thanks.
Thanks for the summary 👍🏽
Don't get that last point I'll fight who ever pisses me off or my family treating people how I want to be treated shouldnt be a sign of being nice I'm also quiet so respect me I'll respect you don't give it out
My man saved me enough time to watch another video appreciate you my guy.
As a former nice guy. I would advice most guys to become a gentleman instead of being a nice guy or a bad man.
Yes, thank Jessica you helped me on the topic relating to my past relationship with a girl I know feeling guilty of my self for not put myself out for her , 0
Great advice 👏
Bad guys carries more weight coz it loads more weight
I hear ya - Isazaki!
A lot of people get it twisted, they think they actually need to be a “bad boy” in order to get the benefits bad boys get.
And that’s not true at all, all you need, is to do some of the things they do that come off naturally to them. Such as being “independent”.
Bad boys are rarely ever clingy and needy, they don’t constantly need a woman, they’re ok either way - they march to the beat of their own drums… and this is what you may need to do if you want to start being successful with women as well!
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
@@carlosverde-datingtips7001 Well thank you for your reply. I totally get you. What you have mentioned in your reply is something Jordon B. Peterson usually encourages most guys to do.
To become a gentle monster and learn to integrate our shade. Hence it's important for a man to have a good balance between his good and bad self. Choosing the former over the latter in most scenarios would make him a gentleman or/and a gentle monster. These character traits will attract women.
I like to tell people that if you're a nice guy, don't only be a nice guy. Show people that there's more to you than nice and that there are consequences for mistreating you.
This video is definitely for me. Thank you Jess 🙏
Learning how to say "No" and not feeling guilty about it is the best thing that you can do for yourself
This message is to recognize your contribution to the team's success. Your commitment had been exemplary and your hard-work is an inspiration to everyone around you You're a truly a professional
True. Especially in my element in the gym.
💯
I agree
Especially to women who use these emojis....."🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺"
Never change who you are for nobody, if she don’t appreciate who you are she don’t deserve you. Let the trash stay in the trash can. 💯
sure you right let the trash stay in the trash
More gracias
Facts!💯
Good words. Thanks
Exactly 💯
Very helpful indeed. Thanks
Thank you so much I have been a prisoner of being nice to everyone but have now been delivered may God richly bless you
Nothing wrong with being a nice person... your not meant for everyone! We are just living in a hateful nasty world!
Exactly
I was thinking the same
Being nice has to be moderated.
But if you keep doing it you look desperate and it feels forced
So true, its evil vs god.
Being a gentleman, setting boundaries & putting yourself first is always the best option
You really hit me Jessica!! This is my first time to watch your video and I felt everything in my heart what you said!! Put your self first is a great answer because my bff I met 10 months I met her online and she lives in the Philippines and she inform me to put my self first cause she said I'm so nice and don't let anyone take advantage of you!! I finally start saying NO and you are right!! It feels better but sometimes I still feel guilty but I'm changing from that!! Again thank you Jessica!!
Jessica!! My tears are flowing inside, I love this.!!!
Somebody tipped me about the badness of being a nice guy. My previous relationships all ended in tears. Since then I transformed myself to a different person. Below are my principals which I follow either in a relationship or at work.
1. Do the right thing and never do things to please your boss at work or a lady u are with in a relationship.
2. Do not agree everything your partner says.
3. Don't be scared to lose her somebody who truly love u will never pressurize u.
4. Always be a big thinker.
Good
I salute number 3
Thanks.
Very informative and helpful
One thing for men. Do not date women that you work with and the reason why I'm saying that as a man is because it only takes one move and those women that you think may like you , may end up sabotaging you and your job. For example, accused of something that you clearly didn't do. So you are better off dating someone that no one knows that you as an individual that you only know.
The truth is that people see nice guys as people who are weak. Sometimes it's really very difficult to change from the real you, but I think is high time I start being nice to myself too than that way I do to people. Thanks a lot Jessy
Be nice! It’s fine, just also take care of yourself too. BOTH can co-exist…
Yea bro, because being nice is wah I am I can't change
same
Hey its been easy for me in the last year I've disowned everyone close to me and I don't do anything for anyone ever thats all I've learned from videos like this and the world lately
I'm telling u o...
Thank you I was also that nice guy putting people first and helping everyone when they come seeking for help. Thank you❤️
Thank u Jessica.U are amazing and you comments are so true and absolutely good and true.I cannot stop watching your channels.
Sometimes as a dude it’s actually very important to stay quiet. Even if you know the solution to a problem that’s being discussed in your presence. As a guy you should be able to analyze and pick up energies around you without staring 👀 or opening your mouth
This is a great comment
Completely agree you just gotta read the room sometimes
I politely slightly disagree. It's the people pleasers that don't win...a person can be kind and compassionate but with boundaries. We should not mistake people pleasing with being kind or nice
100% concisely spot on! Personally, there's a lot of these social media people being psychoanalyst to every life situation. Ergo, I SAY...Never, ever mistake kindness for weakness! Assumptions are the Mother of all Fu..ups!!
Underrated Comment
@@advils12 Omar sterling fan?
Exactly you treat people with decentcie
They take that for nice bullshit funny thing is everyone has a mean side
Jessica Opare-Saforo did criticize people-pleasing, and so does the Holy Bible. The Bible describes it as "being a respecter of persons." This trait is not good to possess. People are not perfect and do make mistakes.
Thanks Jessica. Very good video.
You are talking directly to me
These are facts and it's affecting my business.
A polite man and a people pleaser are 2 different things. A people pleaser aka "nice guy", has no boundaries and is a doormat for everyone. He's afraid of losing friendships and relationships and does everything even destroying himself to keep those relationships. That's the difference.. it's not difficult to be polite and not be a doormat for everyone just have boundaries thats all
I think its also a good thing to be able to defend yourself and hurt someone taking the initiative to hurt and take advantage of you. It makes them learn. There's no nice girl term because women are only nice/submissive the more attracted they are to a man.
That's some of the realest shit u ever spoke, pimpin!! Women that really aren't feeling u like they SAY, will ALWAYS SHOW u their TRUE feelings!!
You simply made this specially for me, dear Sis.!
More wisdom and God bless.
Jessica. You are on point. I can relate to your advice roughly seventy percent.
I really like the fact that you speak about subject matter from your heart. Alot of advisors need work in this area.
After reading,a book by Corey,"how to be 3% man",it opened my eyes,just as Jessica has said, being a people pleaser especially if you are are yes person in regards to relationship,she will be see you as weak and a trap for manipulation, from that moment have learned to be me,to comfortably say no,and stand on my grounds, no more "nice guy", for me,I have now the freedom to be me.
may i kindly have that book too friend. the 3% man you mentioned
Well done Jessica. You said it all. When I started to say no to my family members because I felt being used , I became an enemy . So much emotional blackmail and criticism but I stood my ground.
I’m going through this now I’m living for my mother and I want to live my own life now
It might be worthwhile learning about NARCISSISM too. Users can be narcissistic abusers.
I'm proud of you. Going through the same issues.
Great, am in ur shoes
Ditto for me…they told me f my chip on my shoulder…when I grew up without my brothers and a broken home
Thanks for this wonderful advice,I was a victim for being too nice to many people and been used but I changed and got my respect back.
Thank you, Jesica. That's all I can give you. you've really transformed me.
One of the best decisions I ever took in my life was to subscribe to your channel. 🇿🇦
She’s really great at what she does..
👌
From all you've said, I find myself in between. I am neither a nice guy nor am I a bad guy. I am just a guy that please people when it's needed and right and don't when it's not necessary. Know yourself and feel free to be yourself anytime and anywhere
This is so sweet thank you jessica
I swear Jessica you are just too correct.All this points you made from point one to point six are just exactly the point. I in most cases find myself in this kind of habit/attitude.
Very true, nice guys suffers the most
It's never easy to change the real you to a new you, but I think it's high time we accept changes in our lives
If you change who you are then who are you? See we don't get to choose much in this world. Choosing who you want to be.
Wise advice thanks J.
Thank you for sharing! Very informative video
When you stand up for yourself by not allowing people to insult you, disrespect you, take you for granted or take advantage of you as said you're named "difficult " arrogant, proud among others . Its not easy where to strike the balance.
Nice guys stand up for everyone else, but themselves.
100%.
Very impressive, Jess!
Good advice you are so on point with this topic
My first time watching your video and you've won me over. I hit the subscribe button before you even ended the video. People took my "nice guyness" as weakness for a long time. When I eventually stopped tolerating certain people who used to take advantage of me, I became an enemy to them. Thanks for making this video.
It's worse when you are dealing with a gas lighter
This is a beautiful piece of advice for men who always want acceptance by everyone!! Just stop it already coz it never works. Just be who you are. Stand by your principles always!!!! BIG up Jessy👍
True
Thank you. I will be who I am. A nice guy...
@@dalisobanda5575 fully agree 👍
let's all do our part 2 help make average nice guys 🆒️ 😎 again!
You can't make everyone happy so stop trying, be a gentleman but lookout for number one, YOU, and if you have time to help other then do so. But don't put yourself second.
Thanks sister, nice advice!❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for this useful information.
Jess ', the moment I picked up my boot from the straps, I discovered that am now quick to see a manipulative attitude from both genders, particularly the women . Am at peace, with myself now... Its Bs, pleasing people. You're 101% right, Jess' Those that will love you will and those that don't won't...
This is my thing and I'm thankful for listening to this one.
OK, you got me. I subscribed today. FUNNY you said I would in the first video I saw of you yesterday I was like NO! Here I am. Thank you.
So helpful and that you so much Jessica
Bless your soul. The message struck home.
Always thankful for your videos . Helpful
Thank you very much..... I'm always found vulnerable.
Thank you for this video Jessica
Jessica. I've watched your videos for sometime now and I must say you've really helped me improve my social life and game at large..I used to be this soft inferior dude but now,I am confident and I have had the most attention I've ever had in my life these past months thanks to you..you always give me content I need even before I think of it..I like me now because of your videos thanks a billion.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
It really opened my eyes Jessica thank you.
Everything you said here is on point.
SHE'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, NICE SHOW MRS JESSICA, I LOVE THIS
Timely Message!
Thank you, Jessica 🤎
Indeed truth lives here. Point number three 🔥 🔥 well explained. Thanks Jess for that point. 🙌
Many thanks for sharing 👍.
Wow this is a great eye-opener to me. I have spent almost all my life being a nice guy trying to please everyone and ending up being the most used, most abused and most unrewarded. I'm changing this with radicalism!!!
Thanks to this channel I’ve found where I’ve been going wrong with things.
Now I no longer am blaming the other person.
This video definitely hit on the nice guy stigma. This has to be your best video to date. Thank you.
I really needed to hear this. I love your videos. I'm from the US and your advice is needed here too
Smart, I love these tips
You just described me. I feel satisfied though that people are comfortable around me.
Wise Words Jessica👌🏽🚀
Jessica you're a blessing.
Good video. Describes me, and more importantly, it describes my 20 year old grandson. Sending it too him!
Love your page. Your videos have really cleared up some blurry areas in my life. Thank you 🙏🏾
Thanks a lot for reminding me that I've been making a mistake by trying to please everyone around me which is an impossibility, worst all this thing of a nice guy has totally destroyed and ridiculed my relationships both with friends and family not forgetting the romantic one's, but thank God I've learned my lessons and this reminder from you again!
You speaking real FACTS!!
Thank you very much sister jesica !
Really appreciated your content,very helpful.
Great video! Important life lesson! Thank you, Jessica.
VERY INFORMATIVE VIDEO..THANKS
Very insightful advice Jessica, thank you
I found myself in all of this and i think this video is speaking directly to me. Am grateful, finding this channel have helped me so much. Thanks Jessica
Thank you for topic miss Jessica I needed to hear this . This sums up my whole life. Being tool for granted. Being silent about stuff now I must change this to change my life. I feel this is the only way to become more happy about myself and what I do keep the great topics coming peace n luv
you are marvellous - insightful, direct but still very human - you are impressive!
Thanks a lot Jess this video was for me.😇
This is exactly what we need in the Social Media space. Love your videos. Keep up the good works. God richly bless you for sharing your wisdom.
There are nice guys and people pretending to be nice guys in order to gain trust from a woman, or anybody, a girl might think "a nice guy" is a pushover and not be on her guard, perhaps he want to use and dump her. A true nice guy will always be nice no matter what, because that is who is, without the intention of doing things to please people, but I totally agree with Jessica don't allow people to use you, nice guys should be nice to people who are really in need of help and will appreciate their kindness.
I think you've made a lot of sense in this video. Thanks.
Am so happy for you Ma Jess.
Am proud I saw you subscription grow from 120k followers to 1 million followers and more, keep it going Ma Jess, you're the best😘.
You are so brilliant the way you articulate on every issue. Thanks for keeping it real Jessica.
Thank you so kindly Jessica
Your channel is not only an encyclopedia but addictive as well
Your presentations are out of this world
Well said..100% facts
Thanks for this Jessica👍
This was a great watch, and a helpful reminder for me, I had the tough exterior initially bc I realize the manipulation and fake persona ppl had. Decided to change that to be a better Christian Left me at war with myself while everyone around was at peace. Had to change after a few years bc I realized I had the wrong understanding. There’s nothing wrong with boundaries or standing for what you believe in, be a man have a back bone, hunker down on your principles.
Notice there’s no such thing as a nice girl or nice girls finish last Lol
I feel this video was made for me 100%
Thanks very much, Mad. Jessica.
I can't stop thinking about your work. Much love mum
Great ministration, I am aware of this treat in me and I have to do better.
Thanks so much.
It is my first time seeing your post and I enjoyed it already.
May your week go as smooth and respectful as the personality you present 🙏🏽💯🇧🇧
Jessica I am speechless right now, but the truth is you are pointing out my weakness. Thank you darling Jessy ❤️
Lovely indeed...good lesson
wow his message was Powerful, i'm glad i followed you. Thank you.