I found. I could not stop getting sick. I could not get out of my chair to go to the toilet to vomit so i got sick where i sat. I was hot and cold sweating and freezing all the time. I could not eat or drink including water. If i did i would vomit. I felt very anxious and paranoid all the time. Fear was lurking in me at all times. Facial twitches. The smell of alcohol coming from every pour in my body was making me sick. My skin was ultra sensitive to the touch. My feet and my hands were peeling and very, very dry. I could not sleep ( 20 days this would last ) even though i was exhausted. I had many varied hullucinations and hearing stuff. My brain was constantly racing. I had sleep apnoea, so even when i managed to fall asleep i would wake up minutes later and struggle for breathe. I had horrible pulputations. The sad thing is i repeated this madness many times. I am now sober 11 months and I will not be going back to that hell. HOPEFULLY.
God provided that I found your comment now. I have been trying for the "Nth time to quit substances, feeling the same withdrawal symptoms, then saying 'just one swig to feel normal, to not feel like excruciatingly dying forever, but that doesn't do it, does it? I've been through rehab before and did well, in 2016 overcoming illicit drugs. Now it's alcohol, I never would have dreamt I'd end up on this shit now. But now the world's a different place, isn't it? What's the use anymore? I will wake up and do whatever until this 45-year-old corpse gives out. That's it, that's all. Thank you, until this prison of protoplasm gives out, thank you, Life, for the little bit of joy I've had. Love to all and no resentment to anyone but myself for my own demise!
This time last year I’d never given a second thought about Alcohol withdrawal. Words like tremors, detox, Librium, banana bag drip, Dt’s,AA etc we’re not in my current lexicon. Now, a year later and soon after a bad cold turkey experience from prescription benzo’s in which I turned to alcohol to counter the withdrawal (dr’s weren’t interested,long story) I’ve been to rehab and had 4 subsequent withdrawals 3 of which I ended up in hospital. Your video bought back some painful memories which I am very thankful for. Why all the withdrawals ? Well up until last year I had no problem with drink but my brain chemistry has changed and it took me awhile to come to grips with. I just started slipping into withdrawals with less time drinking. I’d get trapped in the cycle of drink-anxiety-drink to relieve the anxiety-more drink etc then finally withdrawal. If hangovers are the bad side of drinking then withdrawals are the evil side. Anyway sober now and not going back. I make sure I watch videos like yours to remind me of the sheer terror of withdrawals so thanks again😀
I'm glad this struck a nerve Steve, those memories are painful, but necessary. "If hangovers are the bad side of drinking then withdrawals are the evil side." - that's very true indeed. Congrats on staying sober so far buddy, stick with it.
The worse part is it gets worst as the days go. First few days is extreme anxiety and terrible depression. Heart palpitations. Then the fear comes, slowly but you know it is coming. Shaking is nothing compared to the doom you feel. Then you get the hallucinations after a few days. Faces staring at you. Spiders on the corner of your vision. You then get so confused, as in you forget where your toilet is in your house. You forget where you are. I remember being terrified of closing my eyes because of the faces staring at me. No sleep for days, just faces whenever you blink. and the worst part. You know one drink will stop it all.
Hand tremors like having to hold one hand with the other to get your card into the ATM, and then feeling like it's a minor miracle when you manage to complete a transaction.
You’re so right. These ‘standard’ descriptions do absolutely not justify the real experiences that come with withdrawal. And with the delirium tremors that you so perfectly described in another video (and that I’ve had the misfortune to experience three times myself) you’ve got a real shitshow of a concoction. 1 1/2 years sober now, and I will NEVER dabble with alcohol again. I’m simply to scared. Thank you for your honest words. All the best from Denmark❤
You have a very good way of explaining all of this. I've kindled myself to the point of if I drink for even a few days, I have seizures. I recently travelled to the Amazon rainforest after a bender of booze and benzos (I am dependent on them) and I tried to stop. Just as I stepped into the canoe on the Amazon river I had a grand mal seizure. Then 6 more of them at the closest hospital. My worst experience. Did that make me stop? No, I am going through withdrawal again right now. Thankfully only slight DT's this time. I feel doomed mostly due to the benzos because being stuck on them is just as bad. Double GABA situation going on and kindled out as far as I think I can go. Been loving your videos man. Great accent too. Your stories are insane.
hooooolllyyyy shit, that's really scary. There aren't many people who can top my withdrawal in a Kazakh prison, but a grand mal on an Amazonian canoe is definitely one of them. Jeez dude, you gotta start your own channel to talk about this stuff. It has really helped me.
Your videos are very good mate I’m surprised you don’t have significant following! I for one at grateful you took the time. I need to keep watching the horror stories. I’m darkly fascinated by the hallucinations there is not enough stories out there about them. They seem to be so creatively extreme and terrifying.
The same is true for opiate withdrawal. The descriptions can’t describe the pain well enough. Yes, it is like the worst flu you have ever had x1000. But those are only half the symptoms. It’s like a block of ice. Your pain receptors had been frozen. And now, they are thawing. All of them. Every second is misery. There is no escape. “Kicking” the habit is real. You find yourself kicking your legs in a desperate attempt to ease the discomfort. It doesn’t work. You have no control over your body temperature. You are freezing and sweating. Then hot. Then cold. Changing every second. It feels like your soul is attempting to leave your body. There is a feeling of internal pain and discomfort that cannot be described accurately. Because it only ever happens to people in opiate withdrawal. Sleep is not going to come. For weeks sometimes. There is no sleep and no escape. No way to silence the pain, even for a moment. That’s why people fail. A day would be tolerable to some. But it’s not a day. It’s a week. Or more. Every second. Every minute. No escape. Huge help. Imodium AD. It’s an opiate. It doesn’t cross blood brain barrier. In the depths of withdrawal, a big dose of Imodium will put the fire out. It will bind to opiate receptors in the gut and other places, except the brain. It will give relief. Every addict should have Imodium around.
Good advice about the Imodium but having been through both alcohol and or benzo withdrawal is way fucking worse than opiate withdrawal I'd take coming off opiates any day over going through delirium tremens again that shit was the worst.
Thank you for talking about the anxiety and heart issues and panic attacks that make you feel like you know you're about to die that last for days. I've never heard anyone talk about that and I have looked and looked around on the Internet for someone who has had the same experience as that. I'm glad I'm not the only one in a F*cked up way
Awesome videos! Seriously when youre going thru withdrawals and do youtube search its like god is playing a mean trick on you. The videos that pop up are always extremely sceientific and lack that experience aspect. You and delirium dirk are the only real talk explanations i have heard. Thank you ❤
Thanks for all these it's very kind of you to share your harrowing stories and also nice to be able to hear accounts of someone who's been through something similar to me although a lot worse. Can I just ask when things started getting noticeably really bad why didn't you run to the liquor cabinet like I did?
The first time it happened I didn't know it was happening. Several times after that I DID run straight to the liquor cabinet, and then, by the end, it had happened enough time that I knew to go to hospital instead. Good question though mate. I hope you're doing better these days.
Brother this hit me so hard. I went through the hallucinosis a couple years ago and it was so terrifying I went back to the bottle. Or I guess I should say the cans. I cut back from a handle of vodka a day to 10 beers. But I'm so terrified of giving that up cause I can't deal with that again. I was in the hospital for days and thought for sure the people speaking to me were going to kill me because they assured me of it. They asked me if I wanted to see their faces and I explained I did not but they proceeded to show Mr. It's such a horrible experience. Thank you for sharing.
That thing about the faces sent a little shiver down my spine, I can understand that particular hallucination, I've had similar. Hope you're doing better today.
My tremors were so bad, when I finally go to the hospital to detox I was, just like you, unable to sign my name! It was insanely difficult and I ended up just drawing some crooked lines. And the first hospital meal I got was spaghetti with tomato sauce 😂 in hindsight it sounds funny. I was unable to eat properly and I splattered the sauce everywhere and made a huge mess lol! It took me over a month of being completely sober until I gained my fine motorics back and was finally able to write normally again.
Yeah if I couldn't hold food with my whole hand, I couldn't eat it. I lost 4kgs in 4 days in detox because I just couldn't get the food in my mouth. My ability to touch-type has never fully recovered.
Yes we have very similar withdrawals. The restlessness and anxiety would have me pacing from 6am to 12 midnight then I’d lay in bed unable to turn off my mind then do it all over agin the next day. As you said I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
I have been hospitalized several times now for alcoholic withdrawal. One symptom I got that wasn't mentioned above was: not being able to urinate! I was awfully dehydrated, i had to drink lots of water, but I had utmost difficulty peeing. It was like there was nerve damage around the groin area or something. Another symptom I used to have was cramps. Real bad ones too. Also: time seems to go terribly slowly. One day can seem to just drag on and on, as you lie there bedridden, suffering like hell. When sleep finally comes, the dreams one tends to have with withdrawal are like an acid trip x 1000! Nightmares and super bizarre lucid dreams. Not recommended.
Hey Rick, sorry for the slow reply. Congrats on your time, that's the hardest period over with by far. Watch out for the three-month threshold, that can trip people up, including me. Thanks for the subscription buddy, I appreciate it.
How about that overwhelming excited feeling when you're cooking something actually solid that you're PRAYING goes down, then scarfing it down like a mad man once you realize it's all cleared up finally! It's not really the healthiest, but I've always had hot dogs wrapped in cheese slices rather than bun as the first solid food. Kind of weird I know, but easy to manage. Another symptom that I have, is that I have very violent intrusive thoughts of events in my past where I was wronged but give me a weird spasmy "rush" when the thought stops. It's... just so strange. The thoughts come and are over in 3-5 seconds. They usually get STRAIGHT to the point. These are thoughts that I have NEVER had while not going through withdrawal and are... particularly violent. If I didn't have my own name as my username, I would post them
Yeah, the first proper meal is a big moment. The first poop too, haha! A lot of people, including me, have those unbelievably gory and violent visualisations, completely beyond our control. Unfortunately, those are often the things that stay with me the longest, because I'm surprised at my own capacity for such things. Thanks for the comment buddy, I appreciate it!
As with most of us, I have sobered up several times over the years. Except for the first time, each subsequent time, there have been 3, I sobered up, on my own, in my apartment. I dont recommend it. But there is no safe place to recover down here on St. John. I had all the symptoms you described except the vomiting. For some reason indont throw up, not even when drinking. I know I beat the odds. I know I was close to death when the auditory hallucinations started. The shakes, the insomnia, the sweats, the anxiety and depression were AWFUL. But , it was all worth it. Because I wasn't living anymore. I existed to drink and drug. I was either getting sober or dying. Simple as that. Thanks again for the content.
No, even worse. St. John in The US Virgin Islands in the Caribbean. Where everyone vacations and parties like there's no tomorrow. It is literally a culture that revolves around alcohol and party drugs. But I've made it. If I can be sober here I can be sober anywhere.
I nearly died from it . I'd stopped drinking for two days and had two bad seizures . I'd been on a 6 week spirit binge . I was drinking a big bottle of vodka before noon . I'd been heavy drinking for years, and that's where it ended up . The DT's where evil . They always were , but that last one did the trick . That was seven years ago, and I haven't drank since . Nasty shit .
I was throwing up every morning sometimes twice, now maybe 1 of 3 after cutting down. Night sweats and shakes have lessened too. I dream more. I did go through the diarrhea every hour for a day and fatigue sleeping 15 hours a day. Appetite is much better. A pea protein shake with blueberries/half banana makes me feel great after a sandwich. Making progress.
I remember experiencing withdrawal multiple times in the same room, and I'd hear music faintly coming through the wall. And I've undergone a psych eval, I don't have a schizo-affective disorder or anything like that. It was purely from alcohol withdrawal. My invisible radio.
you should make a video about depictions of alcohol withdrawal in movies. and how accurate they are. for example, Leaving Las Vegas. Last Samurai. ect, ect
God, I nearly forgot how shaky my entire body would get and, after showering, how much sweat would pour out of me... Negating the entire reason for the shower. And, the massive, unstoppable nose bleeds I used to get nearly every single day, multiple times a day.
Benzos are the same difficulty. Cptsd & Bpd I almost died being taken off Cold Turkey after being prescribed for anxiety now for 23yrs. I couldn’t strain thoughts together, couldn’t speak, forgot how To Walk. It’s insane
Another youtuber before me, Dirk Delirium, also talked about being chased by small people. Weird how there are commonalities even in our weirdest hallucinations. I hope you weren't injured, and you're over the worst of it now.
It totally sucks. This is off topic, but TH-camr Slayer sober mentioned both of our channels in his recent video. He complemented your production value. I would like to make mine better. What are your camera settings? I am having trouble with white balance. I use a Canon RP mirrorless set at usually at HD 30fps. The 4K is pretty much useless. The lighting in here as you might see on my videos is either too warm or a tad too cool, flat and colorless. I just use lamp lighting and an overhead ceiling fan light. What do you set your white balance at? Thank you and stay sober. The constipation is most likely do to dehydration.
Oh cool, I'll check his video out today - Friday is Bat Country day so I'm filming a new one. About my setup: the older videos are filmed on a Lumix G9 and the newer ones on a Lumix S5IIx. I film in 4k at 24fps, but 1080p HD at 24 is good too. Doesn't matter a great deal what the camera is and there's no great difference between 1080- and 4k when most people are watching on their phones anyway. Plus 4k is a bit of a hassle to store and edit if you're shooting for an hour at a time like I am. What makes the difference for me is the lenses I use. Most youtubers use a wide angle lens and a small aperture so everything is in the frame and everything's in focus, but I use vintage 50mm lenses with wide apertures for a more cinematic look, and no autofocus. That sounds like a lot of work, but it isn't. You can get a fantastic old lens and a canon mount for about 50 bucks. (Adding an edit here: that Canon RP sensor responds really well to vintage lenses. Hit a flea market and find an old lens around 50mm f1.8 or lower. Figure out how to nail the focus manually before you start shooting, takes a bit of practice, but worth it.) Then I have a little bit of lighting to create some shadow rather than relying on the room lights. If you do that, you don't have to worry about white balance. Leave it on auto and concentrate the aperture and the exposure. Just put the lamp to one side so that you get some shadow on your face and ditch the ceiling fan light completely - that fan light is probably the problem. I also do a bit of recolouring while I'm editing, nothing major, but that helps a bit too. I've got a bit of a headstart on this though, it's part of my day job. Hope this is useful. The point is, it's the lens and the lights that make the difference, not the camera, so grab a cheapy vintage lens with a fast aperture and make your lighting directional. It doesn't take much but it makes a big difference.
@@_BatCountry Thanks for the reply. I mostly use an R 24-105. F4, but shoot at 5.6. I have an older canon EOS EF 50mm 1.4, but the autofocus doesn't work half the time and I can't manually focus it either. Good glass is key. I'll try to move the lights around and see what happens.
The first time, about 1.5 litres of vodka a day for about 4 months. After that, it was less every time, until it could be triggered by about 5 days of binge drinking.
@@_BatCountry since March I’ve been drinking 12-16 drinks daily. I decided to stop the other day but I’ve been tapering down every day. Yesterday I had 6. Today I will have 4. The first few days were rough but I’m feeling alot better already with consuming far less alcohol.
8:38 which is why you sit down in the shower and let the water rain down on you , while you ask god to spare you. (I was shocked because i was cutting back on caffene (which was out of fucking hand ) ) .... rip being wired all day
I just found your channel and I find the subject very fascinating. Did you ever detox under medical supervision or were you always alone? Doing it alone sounds like a fucking nightmare
I checked myself into the hospital back on 2021 to stop drinking and pn the 2nd or third day i collapsed in dp much pain and apparently 20 percent of my pancreas dissolved inside my body. I finally stopped
I kicked flubromazolam and bromazepam and clonazolam all at once, and was taking absurdly high doses of all of the above at varying levels daily, well above a lethal dose threshold, and strangely enough the thing i cant kick is methadone and amphetamines.
The only thing that I know of (besides drinking more alcohol) that will completely break through and obliterate an alcohol withdrawal induced panic attack is eating a Carolina Reaper or Trinidad Scorpion pepper. Both of those peppers can hit 2,000,0000 or more on the Scoville Heat Unit scale. The heat from those chilis is scary hot, and will show no mercy to any other feelings you might be having, including anxiety.
Debilitating Panic attacks... for days with paranoia... and all the above. If there is a personal hell on earth this is it. My delirium tremens still disturb me deeply to this day and I shaw somewhere in some police file somewhere it's all documented
got my first real withdrawal a month ago . tapering down to not reach the point of dts. I dont think i was drinking enough to go full delerium but I have all these symptoms to some degree
There's often a stage before DTs called alcoholic hallucinosis, it's all the same stuff just without the delirium and the full-on delusions. Glad it didn't get worse, I highly recommend not doing it again :)
This is the first comment that mentions 'tapering Down' after scrolling down so much. People should be more aware of that strategy (not an ideal one I get it). That and using supplements like l-glutamine, magnesium, B vitamin complex, etc. google "fitrecovery alcohol supplements" to get more info.
@@Vincent2024p i went to the dr which is a huge step for me.. F pharma... and she rx'd me topirimate 25mg anti siezure and mood regulator.. like a non benzo valium.. but i have had it for 4 days and havent taken one.. the side effects look pretty bad and too common.. so i just keep drinking beer to sleep.. sometimes edibles.. keeping thos pills in my back pocket for the next time i go 24 hrs without a drink and cant sleep due to withdrawals.. we'll see
@@yppakcaasi5396 I salute your decision, I am too ashamed to see a Dr. right now. Do you mind sharing the quantity/type of booze you were trying to taper from?
At last, watching my hives inflammation fade day after day until they completely vanished was such a relief, I went with what I pointed out and within the first 10 days or so the urticaria was barely visible! I just go'ogled the latest by Shane Zormander and after 20 days my skin has never been healthier!
Sounds like weed would wipe out half those symptoms and erase the pain and boredom. Just make sure you taper off the alcohol and don't quit cold turkey 😉
This video isn’t supposed to be funny but as someone who has suffered through this the elite level of descriptiveness and you sitting in a dark corner with the British accent is a little humorous in a way…not to take away from the message
10 houses from mine in same street guy alcoholic around 40 years old Tried detox on his own after drinking like 15 years He killed his parents and committed suicide after 😮 So he lost his fckn mind going cold turkey !!!!!!!
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I found. I could not stop getting sick. I could not get out of my chair to go to the toilet to vomit so i got sick where i sat. I was hot and cold sweating and freezing all the time. I could not eat or drink including water. If i did i would vomit. I felt very anxious and paranoid all the time. Fear was lurking in me at all times. Facial twitches. The smell of alcohol coming from every pour in my body was making me sick. My skin was ultra sensitive to the touch. My feet and my hands were peeling and very, very dry. I could not sleep ( 20 days this would last ) even though i was exhausted. I had many varied hullucinations and hearing stuff. My brain was constantly racing. I had sleep apnoea, so even when i managed to fall asleep i would wake up minutes later and struggle for breathe. I had horrible pulputations. The sad thing is i repeated this madness many times. I am now sober 11 months and I will not be going back to that hell. HOPEFULLY.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
God provided that I found your comment now. I have been trying for the "Nth time to quit substances, feeling the same withdrawal symptoms, then saying 'just one swig to feel normal, to not feel like excruciatingly dying forever, but that doesn't do it, does it? I've been through rehab before and did well, in 2016 overcoming illicit drugs. Now it's alcohol, I never would have dreamt I'd end up on this shit now. But now the world's a different place, isn't it? What's the use anymore? I will wake up and do whatever until this 45-year-old corpse gives out. That's it, that's all. Thank you, until this prison of protoplasm gives out, thank you, Life, for the little bit of joy I've had. Love to all and no resentment to anyone but myself for my own demise!
I totally agree with what you said
That’s it… patience is critical
How did you get sober!???!! I'm trying
This time last year I’d never given a second thought about Alcohol withdrawal. Words like tremors, detox, Librium, banana bag drip, Dt’s,AA etc we’re not in my current lexicon.
Now, a year later and soon after a bad cold turkey experience from prescription benzo’s in which I turned to alcohol to counter the withdrawal (dr’s weren’t interested,long story) I’ve been to rehab and had 4 subsequent withdrawals 3 of which I ended up in hospital.
Your video bought back some painful memories which I am very thankful for.
Why all the withdrawals ? Well up until last year I had no problem with drink but my brain chemistry has changed and it took me awhile to come to grips with. I just started slipping into withdrawals with less time drinking. I’d get trapped in the cycle of drink-anxiety-drink to relieve the anxiety-more drink etc then finally withdrawal.
If hangovers are the bad side of drinking then withdrawals are the evil side.
Anyway sober now and not going back. I make sure I watch videos like yours to remind me of the sheer terror of withdrawals so thanks again😀
I'm glad this struck a nerve Steve, those memories are painful, but necessary. "If hangovers are the bad side of drinking then withdrawals are the evil side." - that's very true indeed.
Congrats on staying sober so far buddy, stick with it.
This is an amazing video. I am going thru this now and what you said about the anxiety is spot on. Been hell for two days 😢
The worse part is it gets worst as the days go. First few days is extreme anxiety and terrible depression. Heart palpitations. Then the fear comes, slowly but you know it is coming. Shaking is nothing compared to the doom you feel. Then you get the hallucinations after a few days. Faces staring at you. Spiders on the corner of your vision. You then get so confused, as in you forget where your toilet is in your house. You forget where you are.
I remember being terrified of closing my eyes because of the faces staring at me. No sleep for days, just faces whenever you blink.
and the worst part. You know one drink will stop it all.
I could talk about the faces alone for hours. They are central to my experience of withdrawal
Excellent video man ! Haven't seen a more detailed video on withdrawals . The anxiety is absolutely brutal .
Thanks Gary! And yeah, the anxiety is the worst part of it.
@@_BatCountry Most definitely. Literally feels 100% like literal insanity
The anxiety is KILLER. Being too paranoid to leave the house... To even check the mail or get off the couch. It is beyond terrible
Hand tremors like having to hold one hand with the other to get your card into the ATM, and then feeling like it's a minor miracle when you manage to complete a transaction.
Oh god that's just so real to me. Crazy we let ourselves live like that.
You’re so right. These ‘standard’ descriptions do absolutely not justify the real experiences that come with withdrawal. And with the delirium tremors that you so perfectly described in another video (and that I’ve had the misfortune to experience three times myself) you’ve got a real shitshow of a concoction. 1 1/2 years sober now, and I will NEVER dabble with alcohol again. I’m simply to scared. Thank you for your honest words. All the best from Denmark❤
yah people say just stop.....but they don't know.....
I related to almost every sentence uttered, and found myself even finishing some of your sentences too. these videos are epic.
Thank you Hamish! This is an old one, I've got a little more grey in my beard these days. Glad you enjoyed it though.
Thank you for sharing this, I've experienced all of this and you got it spot on. So glad to be clean of the alcohol demon.
Alcohol withdrawal feels like your soul is withering
You have a very good way of explaining all of this. I've kindled myself to the point of if I drink for even a few days, I have seizures. I recently travelled to the Amazon rainforest after a bender of booze and benzos (I am dependent on them) and I tried to stop. Just as I stepped into the canoe on the Amazon river I had a grand mal seizure. Then 6 more of them at the closest hospital. My worst experience. Did that make me stop? No, I am going through withdrawal again right now. Thankfully only slight DT's this time. I feel doomed mostly due to the benzos because being stuck on them is just as bad. Double GABA situation going on and kindled out as far as I think I can go. Been loving your videos man. Great accent too. Your stories are insane.
hooooolllyyyy shit, that's really scary. There aren't many people who can top my withdrawal in a Kazakh prison, but a grand mal on an Amazonian canoe is definitely one of them. Jeez dude, you gotta start your own channel to talk about this stuff. It has really helped me.
Alcohol withdrawals have made up the worst days of my life by a mile. Currently going through them and.trying to go to work tomorrow
You went to work?
A fascinating insight Stu. That was incredably open and honest first and foremost but also so well presented, shot, paced and indepth.
Oh god, I forgot real people I know in real life watch this channel, hahaha!
Thanks, I appreciate the feedback :)
Your videos are very good mate I’m surprised you don’t have significant following! I for one at grateful you took the time. I need to keep watching the horror stories. I’m darkly fascinated by the hallucinations there is not enough stories out there about them. They seem to be so creatively extreme and terrifying.
I just want to thank you for your work. I just discovered you 1 week ago or so.. what you do is important. Thanks a lot man
That means a lot, thanks for watching and I'm really happy it connects with you!
The same is true for opiate withdrawal. The descriptions can’t describe the pain well enough. Yes, it is like the worst flu you have ever had x1000. But those are only half the symptoms.
It’s like a block of ice. Your pain receptors had been frozen. And now, they are thawing. All of them. Every second is misery. There is no escape. “Kicking” the habit is real. You find yourself kicking your legs in a desperate attempt to ease the discomfort. It doesn’t work. You have no control over your body temperature. You are freezing and sweating. Then hot. Then cold. Changing every second.
It feels like your soul is attempting to leave your body. There is a feeling of internal pain and discomfort that cannot be described accurately. Because it only ever happens to people in opiate withdrawal. Sleep is not going to come. For weeks sometimes.
There is no sleep and no escape. No way to silence the pain, even for a moment. That’s why people fail. A day would be tolerable to some. But it’s not a day. It’s a week. Or more. Every second. Every minute. No escape.
Huge help. Imodium AD. It’s an opiate. It doesn’t cross blood brain barrier. In the depths of withdrawal, a big dose of Imodium will put the fire out. It will bind to opiate receptors in the gut and other places, except the brain. It will give relief. Every addict should have Imodium around.
Good advice about the Imodium but having been through both alcohol and or benzo withdrawal is way fucking worse than opiate withdrawal I'd take coming off opiates any day over going through delirium tremens again that shit was the worst.
Thank you for talking about the anxiety and heart issues and panic attacks that make you feel like you know you're about to die that last for days. I've never heard anyone talk about that and I have looked and looked around on the Internet for someone who has had the same experience as that. I'm glad I'm not the only one in a F*cked up way
Awesome videos! Seriously when youre going thru withdrawals and do youtube search its like god is playing a mean trick on you. The videos that pop up are always extremely sceientific and lack that experience aspect. You and delirium dirk are the only real talk explanations i have heard. Thank you ❤
Thank you! It was Dirk's video that led me to make my own, and I'll be doing more, since there's so little information out there.
Day 4 and I just woke up with intense fear. The nightmares don't bleed over into my waking life but at least the nausea is gone. Hangin' in there.
You're nearly out the other side now mate. Dig in, stick with it.
Thanks for all these it's very kind of you to share your harrowing stories and also nice to be able to hear accounts of someone who's been through something similar to me although a lot worse. Can I just ask when things started getting noticeably really bad why didn't you run to the liquor cabinet like I did?
The first time it happened I didn't know it was happening. Several times after that I DID run straight to the liquor cabinet, and then, by the end, it had happened enough time that I knew to go to hospital instead. Good question though mate. I hope you're doing better these days.
Brother this hit me so hard. I went through the hallucinosis a couple years ago and it was so terrifying I went back to the bottle. Or I guess I should say the cans. I cut back from a handle of vodka a day to 10 beers. But I'm so terrified of giving that up cause I can't deal with that again. I was in the hospital for days and thought for sure the people speaking to me were going to kill me because they assured me of it. They asked me if I wanted to see their faces and I explained I did not but they proceeded to show Mr. It's such a horrible experience. Thank you for sharing.
That thing about the faces sent a little shiver down my spine, I can understand that particular hallucination, I've had similar. Hope you're doing better today.
Jesus Christ this makes me thankful I'm only going through opiates withdrawals listening to this, lol
I've been through those several times. At this point, with alcohol, I really don't know which is worse!
My tremors were so bad, when I finally go to the hospital to detox I was, just like you, unable to sign my name! It was insanely difficult and I ended up just drawing some crooked lines. And the first hospital meal I got was spaghetti with tomato sauce 😂 in hindsight it sounds funny. I was unable to eat properly and I splattered the sauce everywhere and made a huge mess lol! It took me over a month of being completely sober until I gained my fine motorics back and was finally able to write normally again.
Yeah if I couldn't hold food with my whole hand, I couldn't eat it. I lost 4kgs in 4 days in detox because I just couldn't get the food in my mouth. My ability to touch-type has never fully recovered.
Yes we have very similar withdrawals. The restlessness and anxiety would have me pacing from 6am to 12 midnight then I’d lay in bed unable to turn off my mind then do it all over agin the next day. As you said I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
In rehab, I saw people dropping like flies on their 2nd and 3rd days due to seizures. It was terrifying
That’s awful. Rehabs should be giving people Librium to stop that!
This should be played in schools.
I've had alcoholic hallucinosis and full-blown DTs. The lizards, spiders and reptiles.
You going to make more videos? Its been 8 months!!! Always good stuff, you describe it perfectly 👍.
Working on it!
@@_BatCountry nice!!! Can't wait!
I have been hospitalized several times now for alcoholic withdrawal. One symptom I got that wasn't mentioned above was: not being able to urinate! I was awfully dehydrated, i had to drink lots of water, but I had utmost difficulty peeing. It was like there was nerve damage around the groin area or something. Another symptom I used to have was cramps. Real bad ones too. Also: time seems to go terribly slowly. One day can seem to just drag on and on, as you lie there bedridden, suffering like hell.
When sleep finally comes, the dreams one tends to have with withdrawal are like an acid trip x 1000! Nightmares and super bizarre lucid dreams.
Not recommended.
Yeah the pee thing is real! I'm glad you made it through, and I hope you're putting the experience to use as motivation today.
Aloso, subscribed.
I'm on day fifty-seven of not drinking any alcohol whatsoever.
Hey Rick, sorry for the slow reply. Congrats on your time, that's the hardest period over with by far. Watch out for the three-month threshold, that can trip people up, including me. Thanks for the subscription buddy, I appreciate it.
How about that overwhelming excited feeling when you're cooking something actually solid that you're PRAYING goes down, then scarfing it down like a mad man once you realize it's all cleared up finally! It's not really the healthiest, but I've always had hot dogs wrapped in cheese slices rather than bun as the first solid food. Kind of weird I know, but easy to manage.
Another symptom that I have, is that I have very violent intrusive thoughts of events in my past where I was wronged but give me a weird spasmy "rush" when the thought stops. It's... just so strange. The thoughts come and are over in 3-5 seconds. They usually get STRAIGHT to the point. These are thoughts that I have NEVER had while not going through withdrawal and are... particularly violent. If I didn't have my own name as my username, I would post them
Yeah, the first proper meal is a big moment. The first poop too, haha!
A lot of people, including me, have those unbelievably gory and violent visualisations, completely beyond our control. Unfortunately, those are often the things that stay with me the longest, because I'm surprised at my own capacity for such things.
Thanks for the comment buddy, I appreciate it!
This is going to sound sad but your videos are incredibly entertaining when drinking!
You're not the only one to say that mate!
As with most of us, I have sobered up several times over the years. Except for the first time, each subsequent time, there have been 3, I sobered up, on my own, in my apartment. I dont recommend it. But there is no safe place to recover down here on St. John. I had all the symptoms you described except the vomiting. For some reason indont throw up, not even when drinking. I know I beat the odds. I know I was close to death when the auditory hallucinations started. The shakes, the insomnia, the sweats, the anxiety and depression were AWFUL. But , it was all worth it. Because I wasn't living anymore. I existed to drink and drug. I was either getting sober or dying. Simple as that. Thanks again for the content.
St John? Canada? Wow man yeah, that's a tough place to white-knuckle it. Much respect.
No, even worse. St. John in The US Virgin Islands in the Caribbean. Where everyone vacations and parties like there's no tomorrow. It is literally a culture that revolves around alcohol and party drugs. But I've made it. If I can be sober here I can be sober anywhere.
@@Disappointingyourdemons oh wow, that's a whole different challenge. I'm going to set done time aside to catch up with your videos.
Thanks brotha! I appreciate the support!
I nearly died from it . I'd stopped drinking for two days and had two bad seizures . I'd been on a 6 week spirit binge . I was drinking a big bottle of vodka before noon . I'd been heavy drinking for years, and that's where it ended up . The DT's where evil . They always were , but that last one did the trick . That was seven years ago, and I haven't drank since . Nasty shit .
I was throwing up every morning sometimes twice, now maybe 1 of 3 after cutting down. Night sweats and shakes have lessened too. I dream more. I did go through the diarrhea every hour for a day and fatigue sleeping 15 hours a day. Appetite is much better. A pea protein shake with blueberries/half banana makes me feel great after a sandwich. Making progress.
I remember experiencing withdrawal multiple times in the same room, and I'd hear music faintly coming through the wall. And I've undergone a psych eval, I don't have a schizo-affective disorder or anything like that. It was purely from alcohol withdrawal. My invisible radio.
Yeah it turns t that's really common. And very unsettling when you hear quiet music for the rest of your life.
I would experience full visual scenes when I closed my eyes, in some sort of half way state between sleep and conscious.
you should make a video about depictions of alcohol withdrawal in movies. and how accurate they are. for example, Leaving Las Vegas. Last Samurai. ect, ect
You're absolutely right - in fact I'd like to do it as a series.
God, I nearly forgot how shaky my entire body would get and, after showering, how much sweat would pour out of me... Negating the entire reason for the shower. And, the massive, unstoppable nose bleeds I used to get nearly every single day, multiple times a day.
Benzos are the same difficulty. Cptsd & Bpd I almost died being taken off
Cold Turkey after being prescribed for anxiety now for 23yrs. I couldn’t strain thoughts together, couldn’t speak, forgot how
To
Walk.
It’s insane
Only 1 thing you left out was the anger and irritability to the slightest thing.
Oh yeah, that's true. I'm an asshole when I'm withdrawing.
I threw a table at my ex girlfriend for buying me a case of beer because she didn't like me getting sober. I never act like that
I jumped out of my bathroom window because I was hallucinating that my brother and a small infant was trying to kill me.
Another youtuber before me, Dirk Delirium, also talked about being chased by small people. Weird how there are commonalities even in our weirdest hallucinations. I hope you weren't injured, and you're over the worst of it now.
It totally sucks. This is off topic, but TH-camr Slayer sober mentioned both of our channels in his recent video. He complemented your production value. I would like to make mine better. What are your camera settings? I am having trouble with white balance. I use a Canon RP mirrorless set at usually at HD 30fps. The 4K is pretty much useless. The lighting in here as you might see on my videos is either too warm or a tad too cool, flat and colorless. I just use lamp lighting and an overhead ceiling fan light. What do you set your white balance at? Thank you and stay sober. The constipation is most likely do to dehydration.
Oh cool, I'll check his video out today - Friday is Bat Country day so I'm filming a new one.
About my setup: the older videos are filmed on a Lumix G9 and the newer ones on a Lumix S5IIx. I film in 4k at 24fps, but 1080p HD at 24 is good too.
Doesn't matter a great deal what the camera is and there's no great difference between 1080- and 4k when most people are watching on their phones anyway. Plus 4k is a bit of a hassle to store and edit if you're shooting for an hour at a time like I am.
What makes the difference for me is the lenses I use. Most youtubers use a wide angle lens and a small aperture so everything is in the frame and everything's in focus, but I use vintage 50mm lenses with wide apertures for a more cinematic look, and no autofocus. That sounds like a lot of work, but it isn't. You can get a fantastic old lens and a canon mount for about 50 bucks. (Adding an edit here: that Canon RP sensor responds really well to vintage lenses. Hit a flea market and find an old lens around 50mm f1.8 or lower. Figure out how to nail the focus manually before you start shooting, takes a bit of practice, but worth it.)
Then I have a little bit of lighting to create some shadow rather than relying on the room lights. If you do that, you don't have to worry about white balance. Leave it on auto and concentrate the aperture and the exposure. Just put the lamp to one side so that you get some shadow on your face and ditch the ceiling fan light completely - that fan light is probably the problem.
I also do a bit of recolouring while I'm editing, nothing major, but that helps a bit too. I've got a bit of a headstart on this though, it's part of my day job.
Hope this is useful. The point is, it's the lens and the lights that make the difference, not the camera, so grab a cheapy vintage lens with a fast aperture and make your lighting directional. It doesn't take much but it makes a big difference.
@@_BatCountry Thanks for the reply. I mostly use an R 24-105. F4, but shoot at 5.6. I have an older canon EOS EF 50mm 1.4, but the autofocus doesn't work half the time and I can't manually focus it either. Good glass is key. I'll try to move the lights around and see what happens.
How much were you drinking to get these issues?
The first time, about 1.5 litres of vodka a day for about 4 months. After that, it was less every time, until it could be triggered by about 5 days of binge drinking.
@@_BatCountry since March I’ve been drinking 12-16 drinks daily. I decided to stop the other day but I’ve been tapering down every day. Yesterday I had 6. Today I will have 4. The first few days were rough but I’m feeling alot better already with consuming far less alcohol.
@@joealitz4157 Yeah, tapering is a must.
8:38 which is why you sit down in the shower and let the water rain down on you , while you ask god to spare you. (I was shocked because i was cutting back on caffene (which was out of fucking hand ) ) .... rip being wired all day
The lack of any appetite whatsoever is far too real. I couldn't eat anything for a week at a time.
please do a full story about getting deported from azerbaijan
I did a whole book about it mate :)
I just found your channel and I find the subject very fascinating. Did you ever detox under medical supervision or were you always alone? Doing it alone sounds like a fucking nightmare
Does anyone know if there is a way to contact stu privately with a question?
Email's in the description matey.
I checked myself into the hospital back on 2021 to stop drinking and pn the 2nd or third day i collapsed in dp much pain and apparently 20 percent of my pancreas dissolved inside my body. I finally stopped
I kicked flubromazolam and bromazepam and clonazolam all at once, and was taking absurdly high doses of all of the above at varying levels daily, well above a lethal dose threshold, and strangely enough the thing i cant kick is methadone and amphetamines.
The only thing that I know of (besides drinking more alcohol) that will completely break through and obliterate an alcohol withdrawal induced panic attack is eating a Carolina Reaper or Trinidad Scorpion pepper. Both of those peppers can hit 2,000,0000 or more on the Scoville Heat Unit scale. The heat from those chilis is scary hot, and will show no mercy to any other feelings you might be having, including anxiety.
They should be administered in detox clinics.
Debilitating Panic attacks... for days with paranoia... and all the above. If there is a personal hell on earth this is it.
My delirium tremens still disturb me deeply to this day and I shaw somewhere in some police file somewhere it's all documented
got my first real withdrawal a month ago . tapering down to not reach the point of dts. I dont think i was drinking enough to go full delerium but I have all these symptoms to some degree
There's often a stage before DTs called alcoholic hallucinosis, it's all the same stuff just without the delirium and the full-on delusions. Glad it didn't get worse, I highly recommend not doing it again :)
This is the first comment that mentions 'tapering Down' after scrolling down so much. People should be more aware of that strategy (not an ideal one I get it). That and using supplements like l-glutamine, magnesium, B vitamin complex, etc. google "fitrecovery alcohol supplements" to get more info.
@@Vincent2024p i went to the dr which is a huge step for me.. F pharma... and she rx'd me topirimate 25mg anti siezure and mood regulator.. like a non benzo valium.. but i have had it for 4 days and havent taken one.. the side effects look pretty bad and too common.. so i just keep drinking beer to sleep.. sometimes edibles.. keeping thos pills in my back pocket for the next time i go 24 hrs without a drink and cant sleep due to withdrawals.. we'll see
@@yppakcaasi5396 I salute your decision, I am too ashamed to see a Dr. right now.
Do you mind sharing the quantity/type of booze you were trying to taper from?
The thing about the heart and impending death is so relatable. I have accepted my fate multiple times
At last, watching my hives inflammation fade day after day until they completely vanished was such a relief, I went with what I pointed out and within the first 10 days or so the urticaria was barely visible! I just go'ogled the latest by Shane Zormander and after 20 days my skin has never been healthier!
Remind me of the last, Stranger Things at the story
Sounds like weed would wipe out half those symptoms and erase the pain and boredom. Just make sure you taper off the alcohol and don't quit cold turkey 😉
This video isn’t supposed to be funny but as someone who has suffered through this the elite level of descriptiveness and you sitting in a dark corner with the British accent is a little humorous in a way…not to take away from the message
Yeah this was an early video, I've come a loooong way :D
More videos man the music ambience Amsr vibe . 11/10
10 houses from mine in same street guy alcoholic around 40 years old
Tried detox on his own after drinking like 15 years
He killed his parents and committed suicide after 😮
So he lost his fckn mind going cold turkey !!!!!!!