Story 1: My parents be doing that crap too, prioritizing their needs and comfort over ours. My solution to that was to also make it their problem. Rats and roaches in room? Catch a few then put them into their bedroom. Leaking ceiling? Climb on the roof when parents are gone and remove the shingles to that part of the house. It may be messed up but at least it got them off their asses and do something about it.
@@kikyamart8749 It would've been had we two separate bathrooms, one of which connected to their bedroom only. Then I would have to sabotage that one too every time the toilet get clogged or the hot water goes out. This happens constantly.
I was wondering if the girls use their bathroom cause if not they all should and really take their time in there, they could do or fix up their makeup. With there being four of them they all could use op’s bathroom more and coordinate so that there’s one of them in both of the bathrooms so op and husband can’t just go in their bathroom but have to wait till one is free. It would be funny if while they’re waiting and preoccupied with something say on the phone or watching tv while waiting that when the girls are finally done with the bathroom they text the other sisters so that they’re quick to steal the bathroom while they’re distracted! Lol u snooze u lose. They been promising the girls the bathroom would be done but when they come into some money they spend it on everything but the bathroom! If it’s expensive to do the bathroom then all the more reason to save that money for it! I remember being at my uncles and aunts with my dad and having to deal with one bathroom between us 4. I’m always up late so I just listen to music till I was sure everyone was done so I could wash my face and brush my teeth, I’d do my makeup but it took awhile because I would need to stop to let someone use the bathroom
@@jenicdarling9425 She answered in a comment that the 4 girls are not allowed to use the bathroom in their parents room because they don't pay the bills. They had to finish the Gym/office/laundry job before they could do the bathroom. Based on the behavior of the kids, I wouldn't do it now.
Story 2: YTA. Dude… I’m sorry you didn’t properly anticipate how much work being a Father would be, but frankly speaking that’s not your Mom’s problem. She did her time and raised her child, honestly she’s doing you a favor just letting you stay again.
Is everyone missing the fact he is paying half the insurance on a car he does not own and is expected to pay back 1k+ in back rent while also paying the current rent the mother is kinda toxic the gf is lazy and op is doing his best but hey idiots be idiots also what's the bet that the mother didn't charge the now back rent in the beginning and just expects it now because she lost money cause of her job which is not OP's fault Ps the mother clearly doesn't love her grandchild either
I shared 1 bathroom with 3 other people. It was absolutely no fun, and often was left near bursting while someone else was using it. I'm under the presumption that the parents bathroom is only theirs given the way OP worded it, so 4 girls using 1 bathroom? Yeah yta, the extra bathroom should have been done asap
Jesus grow a pair. Family of 6 here, one bathroom... It's just not that big of a deal. The level of stupidity around this issue is off the chart. It's effectively "I can't go into the bathroom on a whim and spend hours there"
@@kikyamart8749 I think it's more of a broken promise, right? They promised their kids an extra bathroom and it seems like it's never coming despite it being mentioned?
@@kikyamart8749 Yeeeeeah, and if the entire family needs to get out of the house to work and school at about the same time, just *who* gets the pleasure to have to get up 2.5hrs before leaving?
Not to say what the cousins said was okay, but its not sexualization to observe that someone has physically changed, even if the part of them that's changed is something society has arbitrarily labeled sexual. I very much doubt the cousins has sex or sexism on their minds. They were probably just dumb kids being dumb kids.
OP in the last story should get a door jamb. It’s an inexpensive rubber wedge that slides under the door and stops it being opened. And while she’s keeping him out like that, consult a lawyer about ditching both hubby and his mother, who he’s made a third party in the marriage.
Story 3: NTA. How healthy is the Grand baby going to be when the Mom still carrying it gets sick? And what the heck is up with these people trying to “Convert” people into their eating habits? If they are functioning LET IT GO.
I'm trying to figure out what kind of diet an expectant mother would need that was meat free. I can understand sodium free and several others, but... Assuming that this really is a healthy diet, then that's all that matters and everyone else should accept and respect that If they have reason to believe it's not a healthy diet, they should talk facts with her, not lie and try to force her to what they want.
@@jackwells8107 OP has preexisting health conditions that has her on a special diet, she just also happens to be pregnant which is probably why MIL is being extra horrible because she's "worried" for her grandbaby
I've held babies itn Newborn Nursery when the test for PKU has been done. They take *one* drop of blood from the baby's heel from one to three days after birth so the baby has been fed a normal diet of breast milk or formula and the phenylalanine has time to build up in the bloodstream enough to be detected, but not high enough to do any damage. I've also been around adults with the disorder and one place they love is, believe it or not, Baskin Robbins ice cream parlors. BR has special types of frozen desserts made totally without any kind of milk that they call "ices." Vegans and people with PKU can get their "ice cream" fix safely. Even sherbet has some milk in it, but the ices don't.
Story 3 , I don’t understand why people think it’s their business to make a person eat what they don’t want . Especially if it makes them sick . It just baffles me !
No kidding! If she is on a meatless diet due to medical issues it might be that thing you get from ticks. You literally become unable to process the proteins in meat anymore and it can make you violently ill. Talk about something bad for the baby, mom getting violently ill. MIL needs to get a clue and hubby needs to grow a spine
OMG yes, my dad loved to take 45 minute craps with no advance warning and leave the bathroom stinky. I still thank my lucky stars that I have my own bathroom as an adult.
Story I would be humiliated if I made a gym for husband, an office for myself and did lawn work but didn't make home improvement to help the FOUR children I brought into the world. What horrible parents.
Reading comprehension is pretty low here. Converting a grage into a gym, office, and laundry room is ONE project. Until the laundry room is complete they can't convert the existing one to another bath, which comes next. The garden can go concurrently with the renovation, so no problem there.
@@kikyamart8749 If your parents promised something and they have the means to do but don't do it. What does it make them. I say OP is and entitlled AH.
Your mother is making it clear she's getting sick and tired of you using her. You seem very entitled to your mother's house, time, money, car, etc. I hope you have a back up plan for when she finally has enough of this.
Op’s like well since I’m struggling to provide for us and our baby & my gf won’t get a job and my mom is family and lives in the same house she SHOULD be helping us! Op really thought that moving in with his mom meant having a free live in babysitter! Op’s mom has been helping the whole time by taking them all in, I mean her bills would’ve gone up with them and the baby moving in. But hey he’s not taking advantage or anything because he pays for the gas he uses. 🙄 Said baby was planned but what did they actually plan for besides not using a condom?! He’s 23 she’s only 19 and they aren’t married and seems haven’t been dating for long (I mean I hope not since she hasn’t been legal for long) so why did they rush into having a baby!?
What is with people who are unable or unwilling to commit themselves in marriage PLANNING on having a kid? My bewilderment extends to those who buy houses together too
@@randomusername3873 ROTFL. They want to have a baby but don't know if the relationship will last so aren't ready to make that much of a commitment. Then I figured out that the "commitment" they are talking about it the COST OF A WEDDING. Big grandiose weddings are expensive and if the relationship doesn't last they are out all that money...... Kinda shows how disposable they think their children are, doesn't it?
@@ACCER It took me a while that when these people said they couldn't afford to get married they meant they couldn't afford to have a royal wedding. Not the same, people, not at all. In fact, as a casual observation I think the more lavish the wedding the shorter the marriage.
Story 1: that NTA comment can’t possibly be living in a household of 4 or more with only one bathroom to share. That has been my situation for a while now and it SUCKS. Let everyone also have a similar schedule where they need to be out of the house by a certain time and it’s even more annoying. OP and the husband had the means to get the bathroom done first and they decided not to after promising to do so. So YTA
Dude, unless you are living in that bathroom... It's not that hard... Family of 6 here, 1 bathroom. Not that big of deal. I am shaking my head at this level of stupidity.
@@fallingawayfromthenorm it can be done and it's not even difficult. Jesus, what entitled little @holes all the YTA are. I'm just blown away by the entitlement, when half the world doesn't even have one bathroom. I can't even wrap my head around complaining about something so stupid...
@@kikyamart8749 Dude, You and that one comment don't seem to understand they're already in rich people territory if they have that kind of money. We already know their problems aren't real so given that, they should at least be equitable to the people having them. If they have the money to put in a gym, an office, and work on the garden (aka thousands of unnecessary dollars), they should at least prioritize some basic comfort for the kids over pure luxuries.
That 1st OP was so selfish. I got remodelling the garage to make space for the new bathroom. I don't understand remodelling the kitchen, yard, both existing bathrooms and adding a chicken coop before the girls new bathroom. The OP won't even share her own bathroom because "they don't pay bills". She also said that her friends love the new kitchen and that the backyard was done for everybody...when I'm pretty sure they'd rather have another bathroom. (Additional info from OP in the comments on the post).
@@nessajulian9924 yup. What really got me was that she said none of the other renovations (besides the garage to make space for the new bath) were even necessary. So purely selfish.
@@Azulakayes she was super dismissive of her children in her comments. It was actually sad to read. But she was honest about her selfishness, even if she didn't realised she was.
@@stillvisibletoallusers The video clearly stated the Kitchen and two existing bathrooms renovations plus the yard work. The chicken coop was the new news to me
It reminds me of that story where a tween got her period suddenly and her dad helped her deal with it like a champ. The mother was angry about that. I really don't get why, I also don't get Eve.
As an MD: Some people have genetic conditions that do not allow them to have large amounts of protein as their body cannot process or excrete the waste from it. Keto people count carbs, these people count grams of protein. Let’s not talk about the people who are allergic to shellfish, that can be deadly, but elimination diets take out pork and beef as those are most likely to cause reactions.
I am remembering a family with a bunch of kids. What they did to make a bathroom workable was "divide it in two". Side by side, were a toilet and sink in one room and a shower in the other. This allowed for the bathroom not to be as tied-up and seemed to work fine.
Many European living spaces are like that, but with six people it is still a bit much, no matter that in the "olden" days they made do with one bathroom. In the really olden days they had outhouses and used a big tin tub in the kitchen for bathing (my grandparents). Want to go back to those times?
They're jerks for lying to their kids. It doesn't matter that other families share one bathroom, they told them they would be a priority and went in totally different directions more than once.
Story 1 No matter your opinion on whether or not they actually need a third bathroom in the house, OP is still the AH. It's not about the bathroom or other renovations since they clearly have the money for it. It's about the promise they made. An analogy for those that think it's not a necessity, let's change the promise from a bathroom to a holiday to Disneyland. The kids ask to go. The parents promise that when we can afford it. Then when the parents "get their hands on some money" they decide to take multiple also expensive holidays for themselves. Then finally the kids complain that the promise made to them is always the holiday after this one but never becomes the next holiday.
Thanksgiving snafu: If I were The Opie, I'd grab hold of the turkey and shove it onto the floor. _"If I can't eat my food, you're not going to eat yours, either."_
Can’t believe they took food, a whole meal away from a pregnant woman! Or that op’s husband was like don’t make a big deal and just sit there like no wonder MIL did it because she could get away with it. Did she really think she could gaslight op that they forgot it at home?! Or that op would eat her food like no if op didn’t leave they would’ve sat there eating nothing
@@jenicdarling9425 Oh, if I were The Opie, I would've called her some choice words right then and there. "You're gonna steal my food and throw it away? You know what you are? You're a see you next Tuesday! Yeah, you heard me, a see you next Tuesday! You ugly old who are!" Etc.
@@joeschmo622 I would’ve had some choice words for that husband too like how can u just sit there and let ur mom bully and treat ur pregnant wife like that and then demand ur wife just sit there and take it?! And MIL keeps claiming she’s just doing it “for the baby” but stressing out a pregnant woman isn’t good for the baby either!
Food bad for the mom will hurt the baby... Doesn't matter if the baby doesn't have the same problems... One allergic reaction will wipe the baby off the face of the earth... And worse when your body isn't allergic and reacts horribly...
Hemochromatosis could be the issue it's a genetic condition that means you don't properly regulate the iron in your blood causing a build. This cause some nasty symptoms and long term can damage organs if untreated. (and yes that would be really bad for a unborn baby) OP's pregnant so the usual treatment isn't a great option right now (literally regular blood letting, They let you donate it now so that nice) and as Meat is a good source of Iron so your meat intake needs to be watched at the best of times let alone when you can't have blood taken. (same for leafy green vegetables) Hemochromatosis can hit women hard when they get pregnant as well we naturally treat the problem once a month so the sudden lack regular iron depletion and pregnancy symptoms at the same time is a nasty combination.
I am not ok with any partner who insists that you have no private safe place. You should have the right to lock a door and feel safe. Also it's both of yours house. You are meant to be partners. He is very controlling. I would not feel safe ...nor would i feel my children are safe...with this man.
Yeah, it's the parents right to renovate every single room in the house except the bathroom they promised. It is their money, but it does make them TAs and they're going to be all *shocked Pikachu* when their grown daughters want nothing to do with them. You'd think they'd let the oldest have master bathroom privileges just to make school mornings less chaotic but wdik?
Depending on where they are at bathroom renovation are not cheap. I live in the Chicagoland area & 10-15 years ago we renovated our 1 full bath and our half bath and we used the middle quote which was $25,000. Mind you these rooms already had the correct plumbing involved and we were not changing the layout of the rooms. Changing a laundry room into a bathroom (if done to most regulatory standards) will involve at least an architects involvement and most definitely a structural engineer. The other renovation that were mentioned in the story were very very minor in comparison.
I wish folks would get right on what role they want step parents to be. Either they are involved and that's a problem or they aren't and that's a problem.
Yeah. I guess we can't really say "a step parent should be [x]" because so much of it is up the the kid. I get why the mom's feelings are hurt, but the kid chose to let her step mom take that role.
Story 4: NTA. Look, MAYBE you should have contacted the Mom right after the conversation. But 1) if she wanted to talk to her first she would have and 2) you didn’t do anything wrong. This is a matter of a woman helping a young lady grow more comfortable with her own body. It isn’t a glory moment, it’s just helping.
Agree. I can understand the mom being annoyed, I wouldn't want my ex's girlfriend/wife talking to my kids about stuff, but that's just me being butt hurt and I would never say that to anyone or deny my kids help! As someone who grew a chest QUICKLY AND EARLY (c cups in 7th grade) I understand that it's hard to talk to adults about it, and the fact that she felt comfortable enough to approach op says a lot. Her getting what she needs is most important here!
Honestly I'd be more sad I missed the first time bra shopping experience. I don't think op said anything wrong but were I in Eve's shoes I would've liked to meet them at the store to buy bras. That doesn't seem to be Eve's issue though
@@SandyyyyyyyyyyI agree with this. I think it's more so that Eve feels her daughter thinks she can't trust her with important things like this and went to someone else. If I was a parent I would feel hurt about this too. I do think Op should have called the wife and husband and had a sit down conversation about what Emma told her and they could work together to figure out a solution. I think it would have respected Eves position as her mother but still showed that you are someone that is there willing to step to the plate and provide a listening ear or a helping hand.
If Eve had really wanted to do this with her mom, she wouldn't have told OP anything. If Eve's mom had wanted to go bra shopping it would have been done earlier. Doubt that Eve suddenly grew breasts during the time her mom dropped her off and then picked her up.
Why redo 2 existing bathrooms, ostensibly for aesthetics, when adding a 3rd could solve problems? Doesn’t make sense unless these parents enjoy conflict.
The last story , she has a HUGE husband problem ! This is absurd.. How would he feel,if she went to his work and ask for pauses, many times..he is punishing her, for having the possibility to work from home.. It's awful .. She needs to put her foot down, so hard,that the husband and mil, shut their mouth...
Emma story: unfortunately this is the kind of thing that happens in divorce. I feel bad for Eve since it sounds like the break up of her marriage was due to her husband’s bad behavior so I think it’s ultimately his fault but given the situation I think Eve is just going to have to accept the situation.
Feel bad for eve? Why? Emma is the one that needed help and she went to her stepmom. Had she wanted to she could have spoke to her mom about it but she didn't. It does not say whether the remarks in what not happened at Mom's house or at Dad's house. But truly it's not any parents fault unless they seen the ridicule and whatnot going on and didn't step in and say anything. At least Emma could speak to her stepmom and get help
@@echomoon3381 Op was way out of line to get bras for the kid without checking with Eve first, unless Eve is the kind of mother who is in denial about her daughter's developing breasts. And I never did get the point of a "training bra". What the hell are you training? You either need the support or you don't. Anyway, I think all the NTA comments were from people who are either men or women who have never had teen-aged daughters.
All the people ranting how THEY shared a bathroom with 6/20/the whole street are so busy being self righteous they are kinda missing the point. Is it a “first world problem” yeah sure, is it abusive for the 4 kids to share a bathroom? No. Most people understand this and appreciate that yes it is quite possible and often necessary for multiple people to share a bathroom BUT we are talking about this particular situation. The four teen girls sharing one bathroom don’t have a right to demand another bathroom BUT the parents have promised this for a long time, obviously have the finances and yet have repeatedly prioritised using money to do other projects, some of which did not seem urgent or even necessary (why renovate both bathrooms?) plus they truly don’t seem to see it as important since it continually keeps being put off after other things. I sense they aren’t really interested in doing it since they don’t appear to have put any effort into exploring possible ways to achieve it (considering it’s converting the laundry which I assume has plumbing already installed). This is ultimately their choice but they should just be honest and tell the kids it ain’t happening or perhaps discuss the situation with them.
Story 1, YTA. I lived with my sister in part of my house that has one bathroom (trailer home so one on suite my dad has and another one), and even that was barely enough for the both of us to get our needed time in there. I have it to myself since they moved out and MY GOD it's so much better. Three people to two bathrooms is fine, but SIX TO TWO???
@@F40PH-2CAT Should they just hold their period like their pee, and not wash their hair, never put on makeup in the bathroom? Just because you suffered does not mean that others must. Maybe we should be using outhouses and tin tubs in the kitchen for baths because that is what my grandparents did into the 1960s.
Hi, oldest child of a family of 7 (4 younger siblings). We had 3 bathrooms. One half downstairs, one full upstairs for us kids, and one ensuite that our dad would get pissy if he was home after work and we went into (especially at night or on weekends.) *two bathrooms for 4 kids isn’t enough, much less 5* Especially after school or just general coming home, where half the time most of us would scramble to get to the bathroom first. The relief of being an adult and out of that house, and just being able to shit whenever (especially when i get sick) is amazing. The idea of ignoring the needs of the kids, and then MAKING THEM BE UNABLE TO USE THEIR BATHROOM FOR AN EXTENDED AMOUNT OF TIME SO THEY CAN RENOVATE IT. Is unsurprising but stupid.
The work at home one I would take the kids and drop them off at his work! If it's not a big deal and you won't get fired over a minute break see if that applies to him as well
On the thanksgiving story: OP did the mistake of not: 1: Going into the house, searching for the food. 2: (Optional) Take reimbursement for the food. Should be some cash laying around. Or, demand it publicly when you walk back out . 3: When found in the garbage. Walk out and either dump it onto MIL's plate and go "LOOK! I FOUND IT! WEIRD HOW YOU CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE ON A MICROWAVE AND A GARBAGE CAN!" OR dump MIL's plate and go "Let me put that into the microwave, NEXT TO MINE.". 4: When told to "stop making a scene, reply "I'M NOT the one who stole food from a pregnant woman AND lied about it.". Probably better methods. But that would be the top of head response. And would have solved both MIL and/or husband problem.
@@joeschmo622 That is a bit too much food waste for my taste. But I otherwise approve the sentiment. As, it WOULD have been peak petty to take it, dump it in the dumpster and go "Are you SURE you even COOKED a turkey?"
Children should confide in the ppl they feel most comfortable with. I used to tell my kids they could come to me with anything and If there was someone else they felt better talking to that is ok as long as they did not deal with problems on their own.
The mother of the kid doesn't work. Whytf is he asking anyone besides the mother for baby services? Did he really mention paying for gas when he's using up said gas in her car??? Why the hell did he plan a baby with a19 yo? This guy is NUTS.
"I don't eat X." Why is that so hard for so many people to accept? It doesn't matter if the person doesn't have an allergy or whatever. I don't because I don't want to is plenty. Plenty of people are healthy not eating meat. MIL needs to back off and the gaslighting, just horrible.
Office lock: NTA. Basically, tell the husband, 1, couple's counseling and 2 an promise to never come into the office or send the kids into the office during my work time again, or 3, we divorce, I win the house in the divorce, have full custody of the kids, and you pay for a nanny as well as child support.
@@shammydammy2610 And none of that 'planning' involved one iota of math, because if you even sketched it on a napkin you could see that at $20/hr job wouldn't cut on the apartment alone, never mind diapers, formula, health insurance, etc.
Remodeling Priorities: it seems a lot of people are hung up on the idea of the four girls complaining about sharing a bathroom and not questioning the quality of life of said bathroom. Is the bathroom that the girls share big enough for all of their needs? Is the tile cracked? Are the faucets leaking? Is there black mold that they don't know about? Especially living in a post-covid world the room in which you clean and relieve yourself is just as important as the room you prepare your food in and the room you sleep in. To prioritize adding pansies to the backyard over keeping a promise to make a second bathroom and to renovate the existing one puts OP and her hubby in YTA territory for me.
Emma: wtf. Mom is being an idiot. OP is step mom and a woman and she went to her for help. Sometimes people who aren't mom can fill those gaps where it might be too embarrassing to talk to mom.
Bra story, my heart goes out to Emma. If she had wanted to talk to her mother about it she could have. But she decided to speak to OP. I think that OP did an awesome job helping Emma. If there is a AH here then it's Emma's mom. But I wouldn't really call her the AH tho. I think she was just hurt and a little jealous the Emma spoke to OP first.
they could’ve made two rooms and a new laundry room, two new rooms for the twins, new laundry room, and new bathroom, then the parents could use the old room as a gym/office space, poor and absurd planning on their part
i hope the kids in the first story find some way to make the parents continuously wait for the bathroom, lol. they seem to be selfish and not understand that other people ..... i don't know, have bodies that work the same as theirs?
The comment of the story 1: yes bathroom renovation is expensive, but so is gym equipment!! If the parents would care any of their kids wellbeing they would have made cheaper bathroom renovation and then started to get the gym equipment one by one, like adults humans could use their creativity meanwhile or even TH-cam to make their exercise needs met when they are getting the gym equipment.. and if you are so lazy that you need your own gym to be able to exercise, maybe just give up and don't move at all, maybe stop eating too so you don't need to make your kids suffer so much longer than you otherwise would.. the parents probably hoped the kids would move out before they can afford to pay the bathroom.. and why the parents need their own bathroom, why the parents can't share their so only 3 people would need to use one bathroom.. ofcourse that would be problem because the parents would need to wait others and it would be inconvenience for them, but it doesn't matter how much trouble their kids get from that... I understand that second bathroom is not necessary, but neither is gym or f*king lawn!! And if your house is in so good condition that only thing you can imagine putting money is gym for one of the 6 family members it is just selfish when 4 would benefit from the bathroom... How some parents can be so unbelievably selfish.. and why the hell you have made so many kids if you can't "afford " anything after that (i could understand that somewhat if the parents cared about the kid, but why make so many if you don't care them at all and only thing important to you is you and your WANTS
Yeah, my mom had all our windows replaced and her bathroom renovated at the same time and it was over $20000. The Stepper I love to use at the gym costs like $1,400 and more expensive steppers are around $4000. So depending on the machines they bought it could cost as much as a renovations.
Aha I mean the husband is an AH in the last story for many reasons, but uninstalling the lock without you knowing is kind of hilarious. I would be mad too but to be fair he's just doing what OP did, but in reverse 😂 regardless he's a big AH
I thing that while it is not unreasonable for four people to share a bathroom, OP is the AH because they broke their promise. They promised their kids that they would remodel the bathroom and prioritized their own wants instead. If they had to use the money they came into for an emergency like a suddenly leaking roof or a broken boiler, it would be understandable. But a gym, office, and landscaping? I don’t think so.
Story 4: Yeah NTA, what happened here is YOU helped out your step daughter with an issue involving HER family and she knows you did nothing wrong. Your husbands ex is upset that her daughter trust you more than her. You sound like a great step mom Op :)
Why does everyone think they have a right to tell someone what they eat pregnant or not. I'm a meat and potatoes type of person. My sister prefers veggies we get along fine. The poor woman even brought her own food. I hope her husband gets some sense knocked into him.
3rd story: Opie did it right. Don’t argue with crazy MIL, just leave and don’t go back. She sounds creepy af and Opie needs to stay away from her…the whole lying and making a scene thing is so “whatever happened to baby Jane” seriously!!
I think it depends on the layout and all that. If they tear out the laundry room for the bathroom they can’t do laundry. Might as well renovate the garage into the gym/laundry/office first. But then they should do the bathroom. If there isn’t a way to renovate an extra bedroom then I can’t see the point in being upset about that. If they eventually want the garage to be a garage again you can’t really turn that into a bedroom.
As long as they tore the laundry room out and they put it in the garage? They could have easily have set up the laundry in the garage then stopped and went ahead and turned that former laundry room into another bathroom. Then they could have finished the gym in the office in the garage. The bathroom is a necessity the gym and the office wasn't.
#1 - YTA You lied to your kids. You told them it would be next. Then you did five to seven other projects, none of which helps the kids have enough space to coexist, and are surprised pikachu face that they don’t believe it’ll actually be next? #2 - Is OP for real? Mom is supporting you, your kid and your unemployed gf and you’re pissed she won’t babysit?! YTA! Gf can get a job or move out. You need to stop support random adults and start supporting yourself and your kid. Grow up! #3 - NTA and Husband needs to start backing you and telling his Mom to back tf off or you need to rethink everything. It sucks. Especially pregnant. But you know what they’re doing is wrong. He should be protecting you and you child from anyone. This probably isn’t the first time he’s chosen mom over you and it won’t be the last. Please, be honest with yourself and protect yourself and your pregnancy.
OP needs to leave. Her MIL will overstep and criticize OP on everything having to do with your baby. OP needs to alert the hospital and the L&D nurses about MIL so she won’t intrude on your birth. The husband needs to get with the program. MIL needs to get it through her head that she isn’t OP’s mom, DR or nutritionist and the baby isn’t hers either. MIL has no right to provide input. Period.
Story 3 If you cannot digest meat she's not concerned and you should tell your husband or she will not see baby or hubby make him go to doctor with you and marriage counseling soon advice do not let MIL get a relationship and divorce hubby if he allows his mother to treat you badly
I've never understood what a training bra is. I started developing early and I just needed a normal bra. I don't understand what the point of a training bra is. What are you training for? If you need support you just need support.
In my daughters case, she was training to get used to a bra before she needed a bra with padding. She has sensory issues and it took a long time to get her used to it. It went from, wearing a tank top underneath her shirts to a sports bra, and finally a bra when she really was beginning to show. Some people can go straight to bras. I should say, she developed slowly over time.
It's supposed to provide support while your delevoping but still too small to properly fit in at least and A cup. Too big bra's are uncomfortable as they don't sit right and rub. Some girls are stuck in that between phase for a while so they do need one.
1st story they did the garage and laundry room gym thing before they came into the money. But then used the money to remodel the kitchen and two bathrooms. So the "now we have the space" argument is useless. And the parents keep promising a new bathroom. Don't promise if you don't want. But also on the reddit story op says in the comments that 2 of the kids were accidents and makes it pretty clear she resents her kids 😬
1 NTA I swear y’all don’t LISTEN it’s what you want to run is being built finished in the face to make another bathroom then honestly quite logically the laundry room would have to be done first I swear to God it’s like people don’t listen
But op does not work from home, added a chicken coop and fire pit to the back yard plus renovated kitchen and both existing bathrooms after telling her 4 daughters that the third bathroom would be the next thing done, if op’s daughters are not ready by 8 she leaves them at home, the 4 teen girls fight in the morning to get ready in time in one bathroom as they can not use op’s bathroom because they don’t pay bills… at minimum op is a ahole for not following through on her promise to the girls and not letting her oldest us her bathroom to get ready and leaving her kids at home if they can’t get ready in time. Also they moved the laundry room so they could make a new bathroom before they came into money, but once they came into money they have done everything but the bathroom.
Story 1: I’m not sure why the parents thought that a gym would be more necessary than an extra bathroom🤔 Story 2: You and your girlfriend made a decision to have a baby without thinking about whether or not the two of you would be able to care for a child on your own, then expected your mom to pick up the slack, taking care of anything that you two couldn’t. At $20.00 per hour, full or part time, OP should be able to afford to live in on his own with his family, if his girlfriend also gets a job. I’m sorry that OP has found parenthood so difficult but both he and his girlfriend are going to have to up their game by getting girlfriend a job and finding affordable daycare. If I were them, I’d do this before mom gets fed up and kicks them out of her home🙁 Story 3: I’d tell my mama’s boy of a husband to grow a backbone and distance myself from my domineering MIL. OP is under a doctors’ care and doesn’t need her overbearing MIL telling her what to eat!😠 Story 4: I know that OP meant well, but instead of talking to her husband about this, she should have asked him to speak to his ex-wife about this situation. While OP loves her stepdaughter, issues like this are something that the child’s biological parents should come together to take care of. Story 5: OP should tell her husband that the next time he runs to his mommy, telling her about their martial problems and having her chastise OP, he will need to contact a divorce lawyer. Get the lock back on the office door and let him know that taking it off again is also grounds for divorce. You have an important job and doing it from home doesn’t make it any less important 🤬
@@deathman5678 mom and dad don't share their bathroom because 'kids don't pay bills' 4 kids to one bathroom is miserable especially when they all have the same school schedule
Wow OP your poor mother. Me and my husband had 2 children under the age of 3 at 1 time. Had our own place hubby working full time. Me SAHM and yeah it was hard but we got through it. My parents helped alot but it was up to them when they wanted to babysit not mine as they both worked. I was greatful for the break but in no way did I expect free childcare or to live off them either. Tell you gf to get off her lazy butt and get a job or be a mother and take care of your baby
The pregnant Op with the gaslighting MIL could have flipped that shizz right back on her. When she said Op didn't bring any food, Op could have acted very distressed FOR MIL and ask how long she has been having short term memory problems. Has anyone else noticed, etc. Then go into the kitchen to find her food. I think I might have just flipped the plate she gave me upside down on the table in front of everyone before I walked out.
I'm not convinced MIL was trying to gaslight OP. Sometimes people will make bold-faced lies to your face, that you both know are untrue, counting on YOU to not make a scene publicly in order to save face.
Lolwut? Story 1, comments were all over the place. OP clearly said he was asking about childcare so his gf could get a job! I'll throw shade at the ages, irresponsibility, money issues and such as much as the next person, but how is it bad for him to ask mom to watch the baby _in the future_ when he AND his gf are working???
Story 3: The MIL is using OP as an incubator for *her* *grandchild* and nothing more. OP's husband is a spineless, gutless coward, and moron, for backing his mother when he should know whether she's a liar or not after growing up around her. What has me most concerned is how little the husband and MIL seem to care about OP's health and her treatment of the condition (not eating meat). They both showed a total lack of compassion or care for OP by MIL insisting she eat meat, and husband telling her to "let it go". OP absolutely needs to get away from that toxic family, cut all ties, and ensure limited (or no) contact between them, her, and her child. No kid deserves to be raised by, or around, sick and twisted monsters like them.
The bra step-daughter story: so does the mom think that the daughter should wait for a week with her problems to not talk or get help from adult when she is at her father? Or skip the time at father because of manageable problem.. and if the girl felt uncomfortable to talk to the step mother then she would have called to the mother but she didn't.. or should op demand the girl to stop talking when she comes to op about something like that? What about then when the girl starts her period? "Yeaah sit in your blood for week so your mom can handle it when you go to her.. if the mom wants to handle all that kind of things she should start doing them before they come up naturally or just stop being jealous for the step mother having a good relationship with the kid, that is a great thing, not a negative... I would have loved to have (step) parent I can talk things like that when I was a kid, but oh no! I got my first bras by myself and kept them secret at first.. so she having two is amazing!!
If your working from 🏠, it doesn't mean, free time to watch kids and time for noise and interruptions when ever your family feels like it. Having a lock to keep them out cuz they keep crossing your boundaries means it is time for you to actually go into the office and work. What in the heck is he doing that he can't watch over his own kids?
OP NTA. Emma was at your 🏠 and Dan She didn't feel comfortable telling her dad so it is understandable that you asked what was wrong and comforted her. It was good that you let Dan know what was going on. Also think it was sweet Dan was willing to go too but totally understand he isn't an expert in that area and it might be awkward. If Emma wanted to go shopping with her Mom for bras that would have been fine. Emma could have said she would rather go with her mom or called and let her mom know. I think OP should have let Dan tell his ex instead of OP though. I don't see why a step mom can't go bra shopping with their stepkid when the child is at their house. It isn't like op made the decision by herself. She talked to her husband. Also I doubt op is going to put her in some inappropriate under garments. Just because OP takes her to get some bras doesn't mean mom cant have a body talk and have a bonding bra shopping trip with her daughter when she is back.
S3: Tell husband and MIL that when she gets her MD and manages OP’s health through a physician’s office, then she can manage her meals. Until then, MIL’s opinions will be ignored. If husband still agrees with MIL, kick him back to his mommy.
That comment : So many families share one bathroom so children has no right to dictate Bt having a gym is a absolute necessity? How many houses has only one bathroom for 4 people bt a personal gym? That commentor must be crazy
Yes many cope with 1 bathroom but given they have the money and chose to work on the yard and other areas that benefitted only the parents first that's what makes the parents the ah.
1st story: YTA I think that one commenter about waiting for the kids to move out is true. They don’t want to put in the work so they’re playing the waiting game
Story1: YTA. Sharing a bathroom can really suck and I get that the parents earn the money but they are prioritizing their wants over the needs of the kids. Kids can wet themselves or worse waiting on someone to get out of the bathroom. I get fixing up the laundry room and kitchen, but the gym and backyard first? I know people who prioritize their own comforts of their children and the kids are miserable. Story2: YTA. Ooh, OP pays for gas in a car that he uses. Doe she pay for oil changes or any maintenance? Probably not. The gf doesn't work so why tf does he need a babysitter? OP is only thinking about himself and not caring about how the mother feels. He should be grateful but it seems he thinks she's not doing enough for him. Sounds like a jerk I know. She doesn't *need* to make time to babysit a kid that isn't hers. She raised OP and should have been done with him when he turned 18, but no, she's still having to take care of him bc he's acting like an entitled child. She does not owe him babysitting or anything. Wait wait wait.. The son was PLANNED and they didn't have their shit together? That makes him even more of an asshole! Oh, I didn't realize parenting might be hard so now I want to dump my planned baby on my mother. She's right he doesn't manage money well. He should have saved up more $ before having a kid on purpose. Story3: Wow, so MIL essentially threw out OP's food and then tried to gaslight her in front of everyone and tried to force her to eat something she wasn't supposed to eat for MEDICAL reasons and her husband told her to just "let it go"? WTAF? I hope she can find a good divorce lawyer. That guy will allow the MIL to poison the child and tell the wife to let it go. The husband, who does not have the medical issues & does not have to deal with the health consequences, told OP it wasn't "worth leaving the celebration". What he's saying is she's not worth standing up for. She doesn't matter to him. What a schmuck! MIL thinks OP is dramatic? Like throwing away someone's food and trying to force them to eat something that is bad for them isn't dramatic? This family is nuts and OP needs to run. Story4: NTA. Emma felt comfortable opening up to OP about the cousins teasing her and OP did the right thing to help her. At that age, a tween needs all the support she can get (no pun intended) and she might not feel comfortable talking to the mom. I don't think she overstepped. It's not like she told her about sex or anything. I think the mom is just jealous that Emma talked to OP instead of to her. The mom might not be as supportive as OP. I know my friend's daughter has this struggle. She tells me and friend's gf stuff about what is going on at home (her brother beats her up) and she can't talk to her mom about it bc her mom yells at her and hits her for telling her. Although, after my friend confronted the ex over hitting the daughter, she started telling the daughter she's not allowed to tell anyone about what her brother does to her (for the record, he sexually abused her in the past & the ex didn't inform my friend about it for months and she still leaves the kids home alone together while knowing the older half-brother is abusive). And yes, we did report it to CPS, they talked to her & said that their system only deals with adults abusing children and they can't remove a child from a home if they are being abused by another child (which I think is bullshit). Story5: The not considering work from home to be "real work" is a huge problem and very common. My best friend worked from home & his (ex)gf would not leave him in peace. She didn't work so she had nothing to do but play games all day and she was supposed to watch the kids but she's a lazy bitch so she wouldn't. My friend's job involved talking to customers on the phone. He had to add a door to his office bc his gf would barge in and yell at him about something or want him to do something. She would also shove her 6-yr-old brat (not my friend's kid) into the room and want my friend to watch him. Kid would mess with stuff, knock things down, talk, and interfere with friend's work. Gf still barged in so he put a lock on the door. So she would pound on the door and scream profanities at him at the top of her lungs. She and her father would constantly harass him and tell him he wasn't working and called him lazy. Mind you, she had never worked their entire relationship and he completely supported her and her kid bc her deadbeat exhusband wasn't paying child support. He ended up losing his job because of her. Having someone constantly barging in while you're working is so aggravating. I bet the husband wouldn't like it if OP barged into his office and interrupted his work constantly. Wow, OP's husband is a dick. She's not allowed to have privacy from the kids? Sounds like my friend's situation, only his ex didn't know how to take the lock off. She tried to break the door down though. Maybe OP should constantly call her husband at work and interrupt him to see how he likes it. Sheesh. It's the husband who is selfish if he won't let OP have any privacy to work. Ugh. So he sent his mommy after OP. Red flags. Time for divorce. This guy has no respect for OP and thinks she has no rights since its "his" house? Any guy who sicks his mommy on his wife/gf is a loser. Wait, so husband comes in and yells at OP and throws away her lock and tells her she has no right to privacy but SHE's the one being controlling? Ugh. Gaslighting. Run OP Run! NTA.
Second story. Why don’t they have money?? Sounds like someone needs to not be in charge of the money. I’m not sure who. But someone is spending it and they need to stop
story 1 you and your husband are the jerks here you promised your 4 kids a another bathroom but now the yard office and a gym had to come first your selfish instead of making life easier for everyone else you just had to have everything easier for you first sorry sometimes you have to pick your kids first but off course you come first here jerk 😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬
Since we're family and we live together I think it would be fair for my mother to babysit the child and it's my first kid and I didn't know it was going to be this hard. And lastly I I told her I understood about owing her the back rent but then I reminded her that I put gas in her car which you drive, and that I pay for half the insurance on the car which you again drive and belongs to her and if it wasn't for her car you wouldn't be putting gas or insurance into anything because you don't have a car just like you don't have a house so let's continue with this shenanigan that you call a life , with my following statements, so you a 20-year-old got an 18-year-old pregnant and you didn't think raising a kid was going to be that hard? And then you went on to say oh it's family and she lives here also no no no no no no she doesn't live there also it's your mother's house and you moved in to it let's get that straight real quick and the reason why you moved into it is because you don't have enough money to provide for a child which you should have thought of before getting your 18-year-old girlfriend pregnant also you're 18 year old girlfriend who doesn't work is going to have to get a job if you intend on raising that child in any capable way because you're $20 an hour job living with mommy in the spare bedroom is not going to cut it and at some point you're 18 year old girlfriend baby mama is going to start actually you know wanting to see what her friends who are older and having kids who plan their lives and you know aren't struggling have and you're not going to be able to provide it and she's going to cheat on you or go be with someone else who has more money than you because you just the pooch on this whole thing it's called where a condom if you don't think that raising a kid's going to be that hard when you are 20 and 18 years old. And if you did it on purpose well then my friend you made the bed and then you set it on fire and then pour gasoline on it but now you have to lay in it so good luck and your mom's a saint how dare you she's family she should babysit and do her share she did her share by allowing you to live there moron.
13:24 ad someone who had this problem the bio mom is gross , it’s not a milestone it’s an issue that needed some help atm….people body and what comes with them are not milestones for other people
Story 1: My parents be doing that crap too, prioritizing their needs and comfort over ours. My solution to that was to also make it their problem. Rats and roaches in room? Catch a few then put them into their bedroom. Leaking ceiling? Climb on the roof when parents are gone and remove the shingles to that part of the house. It may be messed up but at least it got them off their asses and do something about it.
Rats and roaches are not the same as sharing a bathroom...
@@kikyamart8749 It would've been had we two separate bathrooms, one of which connected to their bedroom only. Then I would have to sabotage that one too every time the toilet get clogged or the hot water goes out. This happens constantly.
Boomer parents Suck. It’s a Normal behavior in their generation 💯. Gen x and below make much better parents. Shame on them all
I was wondering if the girls use their bathroom cause if not they all should and really take their time in there, they could do or fix up their makeup. With there being four of them they all could use op’s bathroom more and coordinate so that there’s one of them in both of the bathrooms so op and husband can’t just go in their bathroom but have to wait till one is free. It would be funny if while they’re waiting and preoccupied with something say on the phone or watching tv while waiting that when the girls are finally done with the bathroom they text the other sisters so that they’re quick to steal the bathroom while they’re distracted! Lol u snooze u lose.
They been promising the girls the bathroom would be done but when they come into some money they spend it on everything but the bathroom! If it’s expensive to do the bathroom then all the more reason to save that money for it! I remember being at my uncles and aunts with my dad and having to deal with one bathroom between us 4. I’m always up late so I just listen to music till I was sure everyone was done so I could wash my face and brush my teeth, I’d do my makeup but it took awhile because I would need to stop to let someone use the bathroom
@@jenicdarling9425 She answered in a comment that the 4 girls are not allowed to use the bathroom in their parents room because they don't pay the bills. They had to finish the Gym/office/laundry job before they could do the bathroom. Based on the behavior of the kids, I wouldn't do it now.
Story 2: YTA. Dude… I’m sorry you didn’t properly anticipate how much work being a Father would be, but frankly speaking that’s not your Mom’s problem. She did her time and raised her child, honestly she’s doing you a favor just letting you stay again.
not only that but he also said gf not working so why cant she look after her own child???
Not only that, but this girlfriend is barely legal. If they were in a relationship for even 2 years this is statutory
Is everyone missing the fact he is paying half the insurance on a car he does not own and is expected to pay back 1k+ in back rent while also paying the current rent the mother is kinda toxic the gf is lazy and op is doing his best but hey idiots be idiots also what's the bet that the mother didn't charge the now back rent in the beginning and just expects it now because she lost money cause of her job which is not OP's fault
Ps the mother clearly doesn't love her grandchild either
@@diamonddiva3204 they’d still need someone to look after the baby if she got a job
@@darkage1524 spoken like a person who does not know the true cost of childcare. Please sit this one out.
I shared 1 bathroom with 3 other people. It was absolutely no fun, and often was left near bursting while someone else was using it. I'm under the presumption that the parents bathroom is only theirs given the way OP worded it, so 4 girls using 1 bathroom? Yeah yta, the extra bathroom should have been done asap
That's when you take a dump in the kitchen sink to prove a point. 🤡💩🤡💩🤡
Jesus grow a pair. Family of 6 here, one bathroom... It's just not that big of a deal. The level of stupidity around this issue is off the chart. It's effectively "I can't go into the bathroom on a whim and spend hours there"
@@kikyamart8749 I think it's more of a broken promise, right? They promised their kids an extra bathroom and it seems like it's never coming despite it being mentioned?
@@kikyamart8749 Yeeeeeah, and if the entire family needs to get out of the house to work and school at about the same time, just *who* gets the pleasure to have to get up 2.5hrs before leaving?
@@kikyamart8749 Just because it works for YOU doesn’t mean it works for everyone else. You don’t get to decide how long people need the restroom.
Bra story - family shouldn’t be looking at family like that, that was both gross and creepy. Those “cousins” should have been spoken to at minimum.
I felt so incredibly disgusting as a teen when my stepdad started making comments about my (female) body :( it's really not bloody on to act like that
Not to say what the cousins said was okay, but its not sexualization to observe that someone has physically changed, even if the part of them that's changed is something society has arbitrarily labeled sexual.
I very much doubt the cousins has sex or sexism on their minds. They were probably just dumb kids being dumb kids.
2nd story... if GF doesn't have a job, why would they need a babysitter? And they planned the baby?? This is why tests need to be done to have a kid.
They planned to have a baby but then what? Was using his mom the deal for them all along?
And remember it’s $20 ht
OP in the last story should get a door jamb. It’s an inexpensive rubber wedge that slides under the door and stops it being opened.
And while she’s keeping him out like that, consult a lawyer about ditching both hubby and his mother, who he’s made a third party in the marriage.
Story 3: NTA. How healthy is the Grand baby going to be when the Mom still carrying it gets sick? And what the heck is up with these people trying to “Convert” people into their eating habits? If they are functioning LET IT GO.
I'm trying to figure out what kind of diet an expectant mother would need that was meat free. I can understand sodium free and several others, but... Assuming that this really is a healthy diet, then that's all that matters and everyone else should accept and respect that If they have reason to believe it's not a healthy diet, they should talk facts with her, not lie and try to force her to what they want.
Plus, there's no evidence that the MIL is a doctor or a licensed dietitian
So, she doesn't know what she's talking about
@@jackwells8107 OP has preexisting health conditions that has her on a special diet, she just also happens to be pregnant which is probably why MIL is being extra horrible because she's "worried" for her grandbaby
@@jessbeingme8155 I missed the pre-existing problems.
I've held babies itn Newborn Nursery when the test for PKU has been done. They take *one* drop of blood from the baby's heel from one to three days after birth so the baby has been fed a normal diet of breast milk or formula and the phenylalanine has time to build up in the bloodstream enough to be detected, but not high enough to do any damage. I've also been around adults with the disorder and one place they love is, believe it or not, Baskin Robbins ice cream parlors. BR has special types of frozen desserts made totally without any kind of milk that they call "ices." Vegans and people with PKU can get their "ice cream" fix safely. Even sherbet has some milk in it, but the ices don't.
Story 3 , I don’t understand why people think it’s their business to make a person eat what they don’t want . Especially if it makes them sick . It just baffles me !
No kidding! If she is on a meatless diet due to medical issues it might be that thing you get from ticks. You literally become unable to process the proteins in meat anymore and it can make you violently ill. Talk about something bad for the baby, mom getting violently ill. MIL needs to get a clue and hubby needs to grow a spine
sharing that one bathroom with only my parents was bad enough. especially since my dad likes to take long full baths. at least the loo was separate...
OMG yes, my dad loved to take 45 minute craps with no advance warning and leave the bathroom stinky. I still thank my lucky stars that I have my own bathroom as an adult.
Story I would be humiliated if I made a gym for husband, an office for myself and did lawn work but didn't make home improvement to help the FOUR children I brought into the world. What horrible parents.
Reading comprehension is pretty low here. Converting a grage into a gym, office, and laundry room is ONE project. Until the laundry room is complete they can't convert the existing one to another bath, which comes next. The garden can go concurrently with the renovation, so no problem there.
Omg, such little brats... 4 kids here... We share 1 bathroom. You shouldn't be there longer than 15 minutes anyway...
@@lamwen03 So why can't they move the laundry room and then do the third bathroom. Why was the gym and office so important
@@kikyamart8749 If your parents promised something and they have the means to do but don't do it. What does it make them. I say OP is and entitlled AH.
@@kikyamart8749 yeah, but most people actually want to be clean when they shower or bathe so take more than 15 mins.
Your mother is making it clear she's getting sick and tired of you using her. You seem very entitled to your mother's house, time, money, car, etc. I hope you have a back up plan for when she finally has enough of this.
I had to go back and see what it said he made. 20/hr and can't support 3 people? He's using her car, too. What an ah.
If they were grown enough to lay down and make a baby, then they're grown enough to stand up and take care of it...
Op’s like well since I’m struggling to provide for us and our baby & my gf won’t get a job and my mom is family and lives in the same house she SHOULD be helping us! Op really thought that moving in with his mom meant having a free live in babysitter! Op’s mom has been helping the whole time by taking them all in, I mean her bills would’ve gone up with them and the baby moving in. But hey he’s not taking advantage or anything because he pays for the gas he uses. 🙄 Said baby was planned but what did they actually plan for besides not using a condom?! He’s 23 she’s only 19 and they aren’t married and seems haven’t been dating for long (I mean I hope not since she hasn’t been legal for long) so why did they rush into having a baby!?
What is with people who are unable or unwilling to commit themselves in marriage PLANNING on having a kid? My bewilderment extends to those who buy houses together too
Because marriage doesn't really means commitment 😂
Or commit themselves to stable employment. Unless OP was married, had a home, and more financially secure no one should be a SAHP
@@randomusername3873 ROTFL. They want to have a baby but don't know if the relationship will last so aren't ready to make that much of a commitment. Then I figured out that the "commitment" they are talking about it the COST OF A WEDDING. Big grandiose weddings are expensive and if the relationship doesn't last they are out all that money......
Kinda shows how disposable they think their children are, doesn't it?
And he said "my CURRENT girlfriend". Yikes!
@@ACCER It took me a while that when these people said they couldn't afford to get married they meant they couldn't afford to have a royal wedding. Not the same, people, not at all. In fact, as a casual observation I think the more lavish the wedding the shorter the marriage.
Story 1: that NTA comment can’t possibly be living in a household of 4 or more with only one bathroom to share. That has been my situation for a while now and it SUCKS. Let everyone also have a similar schedule where they need to be out of the house by a certain time and it’s even more annoying. OP and the husband had the means to get the bathroom done first and they decided not to after promising to do so. So YTA
It’s probably the husband
Dude, unless you are living in that bathroom... It's not that hard... Family of 6 here, 1 bathroom. Not that big of deal. I am shaking my head at this level of stupidity.
@@kikyamart8749 Just because it can be done means it should be done because mom and dad care more about their luxuries.
@@fallingawayfromthenorm it can be done and it's not even difficult. Jesus, what entitled little @holes all the YTA are. I'm just blown away by the entitlement, when half the world doesn't even have one bathroom.
I can't even wrap my head around complaining about something so stupid...
@@kikyamart8749 Dude, You and that one comment don't seem to understand they're already in rich people territory if they have that kind of money. We already know their problems aren't real so given that, they should at least be equitable to the people having them. If they have the money to put in a gym, an office, and work on the garden (aka thousands of unnecessary dollars), they should at least prioritize some basic comfort for the kids over pure luxuries.
That 1st OP was so selfish. I got remodelling the garage to make space for the new bathroom. I don't understand remodelling the kitchen, yard, both existing bathrooms and adding a chicken coop before the girls new bathroom. The OP won't even share her own bathroom because "they don't pay bills". She also said that her friends love the new kitchen and that the backyard was done for everybody...when I'm pretty sure they'd rather have another bathroom.
(Additional info from OP in the comments on the post).
So basically every excuse possible before they give their kids their needs
@@nessajulian9924 yup. What really got me was that she said none of the other renovations (besides the garage to make space for the new bath) were even necessary. So purely selfish.
Wow...talk about bad parents.
@@Azulakayes she was super dismissive of her children in her comments. It was actually sad to read. But she was honest about her selfishness, even if she didn't realised she was.
@@stillvisibletoallusers The video clearly stated the Kitchen and two existing bathrooms renovations plus the yard work. The chicken coop was the new news to me
Eve needs to get over herself. OP told Eve about what happened. It takes a village. Eve should be happy OP looked after Emma like she was her own.
Eve should also self-reflect on why Emma didn't want to talk to her about it
It reminds me of that story where a tween got her period suddenly and her dad helped her deal with it like a champ. The mother was angry about that. I really don't get why, I also don't get Eve.
If the gf isn’t working why isn’t she helping with the kid?
listen, we don't even know if she's out of high school!
@@temp_unknown listen! It's her baby!
@@temp_unknown And?
Story 3 NTA: did everyone miss that OP has a health condition that is treated by not eating meat?
As an MD: Some people have genetic conditions that do not allow them to have large amounts of protein as their body cannot process or excrete the waste from it. Keto people count carbs, these people count grams of protein. Let’s not talk about the people who are allergic to shellfish, that can be deadly, but elimination diets take out pork and beef as those are most likely to cause reactions.
@@madgevanness4011 I only mentioned it because the MIL kept harping on the OP eating meat for the baby's health.
@@madgevanness4011 my body can only handle a certain ammount of meat. So i use a lot of eggs and other protien sources lol
'I pay for the car I use so I don't know why she's so upset I don't pay for the house I also use' OP2, run, because I wanna smack ya.
I am remembering a family with a bunch of kids. What they did to make a bathroom workable was "divide it in two". Side by side, were a toilet and sink in one room and a shower in the other. This allowed for the bathroom not to be as tied-up and seemed to work fine.
Many European living spaces are like that, but with six people it is still a bit much, no matter that in the "olden" days they made do with one bathroom. In the really olden days they had outhouses and used a big tin tub in the kitchen for bathing (my grandparents). Want to go back to those times?
They're jerks for lying to their kids. It doesn't matter that other families share one bathroom, they told them they would be a priority and went in totally different directions more than once.
Story 1
No matter your opinion on whether or not they actually need a third bathroom in the house, OP is still the AH. It's not about the bathroom or other renovations since they clearly have the money for it. It's about the promise they made.
An analogy for those that think it's not a necessity, let's change the promise from a bathroom to a holiday to Disneyland. The kids ask to go. The parents promise that when we can afford it. Then when the parents "get their hands on some money" they decide to take multiple also expensive holidays for themselves. Then finally the kids complain that the promise made to them is always the holiday after this one but never becomes the next holiday.
Thanksgiving snafu: If I were The Opie, I'd grab hold of the turkey and shove it onto the floor.
_"If I can't eat my food, you're not going to eat yours, either."_
Petty but yes. I would flip the damn table.
Can’t believe they took food, a whole meal away from a pregnant woman! Or that op’s husband was like don’t make a big deal and just sit there like no wonder MIL did it because she could get away with it. Did she really think she could gaslight op that they forgot it at home?! Or that op would eat her food like no if op didn’t leave they would’ve sat there eating nothing
@@jenicdarling9425 Oh, if I were The Opie, I would've called her some choice words right then and there. "You're gonna steal my food and throw it away? You know what you are? You're a see you next Tuesday! Yeah, you heard me, a see you next Tuesday! You ugly old who are!" Etc.
@@joeschmo622 I would’ve had some choice words for that husband too like how can u just sit there and let ur mom bully and treat ur pregnant wife like that and then demand ur wife just sit there and take it?! And MIL keeps claiming she’s just doing it “for the baby” but stressing out a pregnant woman isn’t good for the baby either!
Food bad for the mom will hurt the baby... Doesn't matter if the baby doesn't have the same problems... One allergic reaction will wipe the baby off the face of the earth... And worse when your body isn't allergic and reacts horribly...
Hemochromatosis could be the issue it's a genetic condition that means you don't properly regulate the iron in your blood causing a build. This cause some nasty symptoms and long term can damage organs if untreated. (and yes that would be really bad for a unborn baby)
OP's pregnant so the usual treatment isn't a great option right now (literally regular blood letting, They let you donate it now so that nice) and as Meat is a good source of Iron so your meat intake needs to be watched at the best of times let alone when you can't have blood taken. (same for leafy green vegetables)
Hemochromatosis can hit women hard when they get pregnant as well we naturally treat the problem once a month so the sudden lack regular iron depletion and pregnancy symptoms at the same time is a nasty combination.
I am not ok with any partner who insists that you have no private safe place. You should have the right to lock a door and feel safe. Also it's both of yours house. You are meant to be partners. He is very controlling. I would not feel safe ...nor would i feel my children are safe...with this man.
Story 1: « you don’t NEED a second bathroom » from that one comment. You don’t NeED a home gym.
Yeah, it's the parents right to renovate every single room in the house except the bathroom they promised. It is their money, but it does make them TAs and they're going to be all *shocked Pikachu* when their grown daughters want nothing to do with them.
You'd think they'd let the oldest have master bathroom privileges just to make school mornings less chaotic but wdik?
Depending on where they are at bathroom renovation are not cheap. I live in the Chicagoland area & 10-15 years ago we renovated our 1 full bath and our half bath and we used the middle quote which was $25,000. Mind you these rooms already had the correct plumbing involved and we were not changing the layout of the rooms. Changing a laundry room into a bathroom (if done to most regulatory standards) will involve at least an architects involvement and most definitely a structural engineer. The other renovation that were mentioned in the story were very very minor in comparison.
I wish folks would get right on what role they want step parents to be. Either they are involved and that's a problem or they aren't and that's a problem.
Yeah. I guess we can't really say "a step parent should be [x]" because so much of it is up the the kid. I get why the mom's feelings are hurt, but the kid chose to let her step mom take that role.
Story 4: NTA. Look, MAYBE you should have contacted the Mom right after the conversation. But 1) if she wanted to talk to her first she would have and 2) you didn’t do anything wrong. This is a matter of a woman helping a young lady grow more comfortable with her own body. It isn’t a glory moment, it’s just helping.
Agree. I can understand the mom being annoyed, I wouldn't want my ex's girlfriend/wife talking to my kids about stuff, but that's just me being butt hurt and I would never say that to anyone or deny my kids help! As someone who grew a chest QUICKLY AND EARLY (c cups in 7th grade) I understand that it's hard to talk to adults about it, and the fact that she felt comfortable enough to approach op says a lot. Her getting what she needs is most important here!
Honestly I'd be more sad I missed the first time bra shopping experience. I don't think op said anything wrong but were I in Eve's shoes I would've liked to meet them at the store to buy bras. That doesn't seem to be Eve's issue though
@@SandyyyyyyyyyyI agree with this. I think it's more so that Eve feels her daughter thinks she can't trust her with important things like this and went to someone else. If I was a parent I would feel hurt about this too. I do think Op should have called the wife and husband and had a sit down conversation about what Emma told her and they could work together to figure out a solution. I think it would have respected Eves position as her mother but still showed that you are someone that is there willing to step to the plate and provide a listening ear or a helping hand.
They pay the bills brat.
If Eve had really wanted to do this with her mom, she wouldn't have told OP anything. If Eve's mom had wanted to go bra shopping it would have been done earlier. Doubt that Eve suddenly grew breasts during the time her mom dropped her off and then picked her up.
Why redo 2 existing bathrooms, ostensibly for aesthetics, when adding a 3rd could solve problems? Doesn’t make sense unless these parents enjoy conflict.
"But MIL, if I eat meat, I may die and leave a baby without a mother." MIL: "Exactly!"
The last story , she has a HUGE husband problem ! This is absurd.. How would he feel,if she went to his work and ask for pauses, many times..he is punishing her, for having the possibility to work from home.. It's awful .. She needs to put her foot down, so hard,that the husband and mil, shut their mouth...
Emma story: unfortunately this is the kind of thing that happens in divorce. I feel bad for Eve since it sounds like the break up of her marriage was due to her husband’s bad behavior so I think it’s ultimately his fault but given the situation I think Eve is just going to have to accept the situation.
Feel bad for eve? Why? Emma is the one that needed help and she went to her stepmom. Had she wanted to she could have spoke to her mom about it but she didn't. It does not say whether the remarks in what not happened at Mom's house or at Dad's house. But truly it's not any parents fault unless they seen the ridicule and whatnot going on and didn't step in and say anything. At least Emma could speak to her stepmom and get help
@@echomoon3381 Op was way out of line to get bras for the kid without checking with Eve first, unless Eve is the kind of mother who is in denial about her daughter's developing breasts. And I never did get the point of a "training bra". What the hell are you training? You either need the support or you don't.
Anyway, I think all the NTA comments were from people who are either men or women who have never had teen-aged daughters.
So in the last story, if the husband can bother OP and send the kids after her all day, does that mean he isn't working?
All the people ranting how THEY shared a bathroom with 6/20/the whole street are so busy being self righteous they are kinda missing the point. Is it a “first world problem” yeah sure, is it abusive for the 4 kids to share a bathroom? No. Most people understand this and appreciate that yes it is quite possible and often necessary for multiple people to share a bathroom BUT we are talking about this particular situation. The four teen girls sharing one bathroom don’t have a right to demand another bathroom BUT the parents have promised this for a long time, obviously have the finances and yet have repeatedly prioritised using money to do other projects, some of which did not seem urgent or even necessary (why renovate both bathrooms?) plus they truly don’t seem to see it as important since it continually keeps being put off after other things. I sense they aren’t really interested in doing it since they don’t appear to have put any effort into exploring possible ways to achieve it (considering it’s converting the laundry which I assume has plumbing already installed). This is ultimately their choice but they should just be honest and tell the kids it ain’t happening or perhaps discuss the situation with them.
Comments on that last story, especially the last comment, spot on.
Story 1, YTA. I lived with my sister in part of my house that has one bathroom (trailer home so one on suite my dad has and another one), and even that was barely enough for the both of us to get our needed time in there. I have it to myself since they moved out and MY GOD it's so much better. Three people to two bathrooms is fine, but SIX TO TWO???
Its 4 to 1 bathroom. OP & her husband have a bathroom on their own.
I lived 6 to one my entire childhood and survived. Do less in there ladies. 🙄
@@F40PH-2CAT Should they just hold their period like their pee, and not wash their hair, never put on makeup in the bathroom? Just because you suffered does not mean that others must. Maybe we should be using outhouses and tin tubs in the kitchen for baths because that is what my grandparents did into the 1960s.
Hi, oldest child of a family of 7 (4 younger siblings). We had 3 bathrooms. One half downstairs, one full upstairs for us kids, and one ensuite that our dad would get pissy if he was home after work and we went into (especially at night or on weekends.)
*two bathrooms for 4 kids isn’t enough, much less 5*
Especially after school or just general coming home, where half the time most of us would scramble to get to the bathroom first.
The relief of being an adult and out of that house, and just being able to shit whenever (especially when i get sick) is amazing.
The idea of ignoring the needs of the kids, and then MAKING THEM BE UNABLE TO USE THEIR BATHROOM FOR AN EXTENDED AMOUNT OF TIME SO THEY CAN RENOVATE IT. Is unsurprising but stupid.
The work at home one I would take the kids and drop them off at his work! If it's not a big deal and you won't get fired over a minute break see if that applies to him as well
On the thanksgiving story: OP did the mistake of not: 1: Going into the house, searching for the food. 2: (Optional) Take reimbursement for the food. Should be some cash laying around. Or, demand it publicly when you walk back out . 3: When found in the garbage. Walk out and either dump it onto MIL's plate and go "LOOK! I FOUND IT! WEIRD HOW YOU CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE ON A MICROWAVE AND A GARBAGE CAN!" OR dump MIL's plate and go "Let me put that into the microwave, NEXT TO MINE.". 4: When told to "stop making a scene, reply "I'M NOT the one who stole food from a pregnant woman AND lied about it.".
Probably better methods. But that would be the top of head response.
And would have solved both MIL and/or husband problem.
As I commented elsewhere, I would've dumped the entire turkey.
"If I can't eat, neither will anyone else."
@@joeschmo622 That is a bit too much food waste for my taste. But I otherwise approve the sentiment.
As, it WOULD have been peak petty to take it, dump it in the dumpster and go "Are you SURE you even COOKED a turkey?"
@@Kattlarv THAT would be soooooooooo funny.
Children should confide in the ppl they feel most comfortable with. I used to tell my kids they could come to me with anything and If there was someone else they felt better talking to that is ok as long as they did not deal with problems on their own.
The mother of the kid doesn't work. Whytf is he asking anyone besides the mother for baby services? Did he really mention paying for gas when he's using up said gas in her car??? Why the hell did he plan a baby with a19 yo? This guy is NUTS.
"I don't eat X." Why is that so hard for so many people to accept? It doesn't matter if the person doesn't have an allergy or whatever. I don't because I don't want to is plenty. Plenty of people are healthy not eating meat. MIL needs to back off and the gaslighting, just horrible.
Office lock: NTA. Basically, tell the husband, 1, couple's counseling and 2 an promise to never come into the office or send the kids into the office during my work time again, or 3, we divorce, I win the house in the divorce, have full custody of the kids, and you pay for a nanny as well as child support.
Story 1: I grew up in a house with 8 people & we shared 1 bathroom.
Lordy me and my 7 sibs shared a bath. My parents had their own bath. And before that, we had an outhouse. Lol but it was a luxury, it was a 2 seater!
When you get a teenager pregnant and expect your mother to look after your young family 🙄
When a teen allows another teen to impregnate her and expect his mother to raise your baby🙄
Worse, they apparently 'planned' it.
@@shammydammy2610 And none of that 'planning' involved one iota of math, because if you even sketched it on a napkin you could see that at $20/hr job wouldn't cut on the apartment alone, never mind diapers, formula, health insurance, etc.
@@user-wr3vt8uq4s I'm not going to bother to rewatch. So sure, whatever.
How much babysitting does OP really need when his girlfriend doesn’t work? What is SHE doing all day? Yikes dude
Remodeling Priorities: it seems a lot of people are hung up on the idea of the four girls complaining about sharing a bathroom and not questioning the quality of life of said bathroom.
Is the bathroom that the girls share big enough for all of their needs? Is the tile cracked? Are the faucets leaking? Is there black mold that they don't know about?
Especially living in a post-covid world the room in which you clean and relieve yourself is just as important as the room you prepare your food in and the room you sleep in.
To prioritize adding pansies to the backyard over keeping a promise to make a second bathroom and to renovate the existing one puts OP and her hubby in YTA territory for me.
Emma: wtf. Mom is being an idiot. OP is step mom and a woman and she went to her for help. Sometimes people who aren't mom can fill those gaps where it might be too embarrassing to talk to mom.
I hope the kids when they get older prioritize their own things when they grow up----nursing home folks
teach them well mom and dad lol teach em how to be selfish as heck lol
Thanks again XOS
My family was 6 people when we were young and we had 3 bathrooms. Those parents don't have thier priorities straight
Bra story, my heart goes out to Emma. If she had wanted to talk to her mother about it she could have. But she decided to speak to OP. I think that OP did an awesome job helping Emma. If there is a AH here then it's Emma's mom. But I wouldn't really call her the AH tho. I think she was just hurt and a little jealous the Emma spoke to OP first.
they could’ve made two rooms and a new laundry room, two new rooms for the twins, new laundry room, and new bathroom, then the parents could use the old room as a gym/office space, poor and absurd planning on their part
I think the parents are just planning their "empty nest" and don't care what the kids want.
i hope the kids in the first story find some way to make the parents continuously wait for the bathroom, lol. they seem to be selfish and not understand that other people ..... i don't know, have bodies that work the same as theirs?
Oh no. Mom and dad have their own bathroom, just for them.
The comment of the story 1: yes bathroom renovation is expensive, but so is gym equipment!! If the parents would care any of their kids wellbeing they would have made cheaper bathroom renovation and then started to get the gym equipment one by one, like adults humans could use their creativity meanwhile or even TH-cam to make their exercise needs met when they are getting the gym equipment.. and if you are so lazy that you need your own gym to be able to exercise, maybe just give up and don't move at all, maybe stop eating too so you don't need to make your kids suffer so much longer than you otherwise would.. the parents probably hoped the kids would move out before they can afford to pay the bathroom.. and why the parents need their own bathroom, why the parents can't share their so only 3 people would need to use one bathroom.. ofcourse that would be problem because the parents would need to wait others and it would be inconvenience for them, but it doesn't matter how much trouble their kids get from that... I understand that second bathroom is not necessary, but neither is gym or f*king lawn!! And if your house is in so good condition that only thing you can imagine putting money is gym for one of the 6 family members it is just selfish when 4 would benefit from the bathroom... How some parents can be so unbelievably selfish.. and why the hell you have made so many kids if you can't "afford " anything after that (i could understand that somewhat if the parents cared about the kid, but why make so many if you don't care them at all and only thing important to you is you and your WANTS
Yeah, my mom had all our windows replaced and her bathroom renovated at the same time and it was over $20000. The Stepper I love to use at the gym costs like $1,400 and more expensive steppers are around $4000. So depending on the machines they bought it could cost as much as a renovations.
Aha I mean the husband is an AH in the last story for many reasons, but uninstalling the lock without you knowing is kind of hilarious. I would be mad too but to be fair he's just doing what OP did, but in reverse 😂 regardless he's a big AH
I thing that while it is not unreasonable for four people to share a bathroom, OP is the AH because they broke their promise. They promised their kids that they would remodel the bathroom and prioritized their own wants instead. If they had to use the money they came into for an emergency like a suddenly leaking roof or a broken boiler, it would be understandable. But a gym, office, and landscaping? I don’t think so.
Story 2: Who tf plans to have a baby at 18? And who tf goes along with it? Jesus christ, dude.
Last story, don't pay half the bills and say as you no longer have a real job, you can no longer financially contribute.
Story 4: Yeah NTA, what happened here is YOU helped out your step daughter with an issue involving HER family and she knows you did nothing wrong. Your husbands ex is upset that her daughter trust you more than her.
You sound like a great step mom Op :)
Why does everyone think they have a right to tell someone what they eat pregnant or not. I'm a meat and potatoes type of person. My sister prefers veggies we get along fine. The poor woman even brought her own food. I hope her husband gets some sense knocked into him.
Entitled parents,, chose to have children, then chose themselves before children.
3rd story: Opie did it right. Don’t argue with crazy MIL, just leave and don’t go back. She sounds creepy af and Opie needs to stay away from her…the whole lying and making a scene thing is so “whatever happened to baby Jane” seriously!!
I think it depends on the layout and all that. If they tear out the laundry room for the bathroom they can’t do laundry. Might as well renovate the garage into the gym/laundry/office first. But then they should do the bathroom. If there isn’t a way to renovate an extra bedroom then I can’t see the point in being upset about that. If they eventually want the garage to be a garage again you can’t really turn that into a bedroom.
As long as they tore the laundry room out and they put it in the garage? They could have easily have set up the laundry in the garage then stopped and went ahead and turned that former laundry room into another bathroom. Then they could have finished the gym in the office in the garage. The bathroom is a necessity the gym and the office wasn't.
Op in the last story... GIRLLLLL WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING WITH THIS TRASH? He called his mommy?
Great, get a divorce an then when it' hubby's turn to get the child, they get all the meat he/she needs. LMAO
#1 - YTA You lied to your kids. You told them it would be next. Then you did five to seven other projects, none of which helps the kids have enough space to coexist, and are surprised pikachu face that they don’t believe it’ll actually be next?
#2 - Is OP for real? Mom is supporting you, your kid and your unemployed gf and you’re pissed she won’t babysit?! YTA! Gf can get a job or move out. You need to stop support random adults and start supporting yourself and your kid. Grow up!
#3 - NTA and Husband needs to start backing you and telling his Mom to back tf off or you need to rethink everything. It sucks. Especially pregnant. But you know what they’re doing is wrong. He should be protecting you and you child from anyone. This probably isn’t the first time he’s chosen mom over you and it won’t be the last. Please, be honest with yourself and protect yourself and your pregnancy.
OP needs to leave. Her MIL will overstep and criticize OP on everything having to do with your baby. OP needs to alert the hospital and the L&D nurses about MIL so she won’t intrude on your birth. The husband needs to get with the program. MIL needs to get it through her head that she isn’t OP’s mom, DR or nutritionist and the baby isn’t hers either. MIL has no right to provide input. Period.
I will guarantee similar red flags have happened and OP dismissed it because "love". Mommies boys always tell you to "put up with".
@@philwill0123 true. Just because you get married, it doesn’t guarantee that the dude will get a spine and grow up. Drives me nuts!!!
Story 3
If you cannot digest meat she's not concerned and you should tell your husband or she will not see baby or hubby make him go to doctor with you and marriage counseling soon advice do not let MIL get a relationship and divorce hubby if he allows his mother to treat you badly
Story 1 - You sound very selfish. You put your gym and office above your kids needing a restroom. That says it all!
I've never understood what a training bra is. I started developing early and I just needed a normal bra. I don't understand what the point of a training bra is. What are you training for? If you need support you just need support.
In my daughters case, she was training to get used to a bra before she needed a bra with padding. She has sensory issues and it took a long time to get her used to it. It went from, wearing a tank top underneath her shirts to a sports bra, and finally a bra when she really was beginning to show. Some people can go straight to bras. I should say, she developed slowly over time.
It's supposed to provide support while your delevoping but still too small to properly fit in at least and A cup. Too big bra's are uncomfortable as they don't sit right and rub. Some girls are stuck in that between phase for a while so they do need one.
It also gets you in the habit of putting one on everyday
Guess who won't be providing a mother-in-law suite for mum later in life?
1st story they did the garage and laundry room gym thing before they came into the money. But then used the money to remodel the kitchen and two bathrooms. So the "now we have the space" argument is useless. And the parents keep promising a new bathroom. Don't promise if you don't want.
But also on the reddit story op says in the comments that 2 of the kids were accidents and makes it pretty clear she resents her kids 😬
1 NTA I swear y’all don’t LISTEN it’s what you want to run is being built finished in the face to make another bathroom then honestly quite logically the laundry room would have to be done first I swear to God it’s like people don’t listen
But op does not work from home, added a chicken coop and fire pit to the back yard plus renovated kitchen and both existing bathrooms after telling her 4 daughters that the third bathroom would be the next thing done, if op’s daughters are not ready by 8 she leaves them at home, the 4 teen girls fight in the morning to get ready in time in one bathroom as they can not use op’s bathroom because they don’t pay bills… at minimum op is a ahole for not following through on her promise to the girls and not letting her oldest us her bathroom to get ready and leaving her kids at home if they can’t get ready in time. Also they moved the laundry room so they could make a new bathroom before they came into money, but once they came into money they have done everything but the bathroom.
Story 1: I’m not sure why the parents thought that a gym would be more necessary than an extra bathroom🤔
Story 2: You and your girlfriend made a decision to have a baby without thinking about whether or not the two of you would be able to care for a child on your own, then expected your mom to pick up the slack, taking care of anything that you two couldn’t. At $20.00 per hour, full or part time, OP should be able to afford to live in
on his own with his family, if his girlfriend also gets a job. I’m sorry that OP has found parenthood so difficult but both he and his girlfriend are going to have to up their game by getting girlfriend a job and finding affordable daycare. If I were them, I’d do this before mom gets fed up and kicks them out of her home🙁
Story 3: I’d tell my mama’s boy of a husband to grow a backbone and distance myself from my domineering MIL. OP is under a doctors’ care and doesn’t need her overbearing MIL telling her what to eat!😠
Story 4: I know that OP meant well, but instead of talking to her husband about this, she should have asked him to speak to his ex-wife about this situation. While OP loves her stepdaughter, issues like this are something that the child’s biological parents should come together to take care of.
Story 5: OP should tell her husband that the next time he runs to his mommy, telling her about their martial problems and having her chastise OP, he will need to contact a divorce lawyer. Get the lock back on the office door and let him know that taking it off again is also grounds for divorce. You have an important job and doing it from home doesn’t make it any less important 🤬
Story 1: YTA. Not many homes have a Gym, all kinda need a bathroom. The fact that this wasn’t a higher priority on your list is a little concerning.
The home already has two bathrooms the girls want a third
@@deathman5678 mom and dad don't share their bathroom because 'kids don't pay bills'
4 kids to one bathroom is miserable especially when they all have the same school schedule
Wow OP your poor mother. Me and my husband had 2 children under the age of 3 at 1 time. Had our own place hubby working full time. Me SAHM and yeah it was hard but we got through it. My parents helped alot but it was up to them when they wanted to babysit not mine as they both worked. I was greatful for the break but in no way did I expect free childcare or to live off them either. Tell you gf to get off her lazy butt and get a job or be a mother and take care of your baby
The pregnant Op with the gaslighting MIL could have flipped that shizz right back on her. When she said Op didn't bring any food, Op could have acted very distressed FOR MIL and ask how long she has been having short term memory problems. Has anyone else noticed, etc.
Then go into the kitchen to find her food. I think I might have just flipped the plate she gave me upside down on the table in front of everyone before I walked out.
I'm not convinced MIL was trying to gaslight OP. Sometimes people will make bold-faced lies to your face, that you both know are untrue, counting on YOU to not make a scene publicly in order to save face.
Lolwut? Story 1, comments were all over the place. OP clearly said he was asking about childcare so his gf could get a job! I'll throw shade at the ages, irresponsibility, money issues and such as much as the next person, but how is it bad for him to ask mom to watch the baby _in the future_ when he AND his gf are working???
Story 3:
The MIL is using OP as an incubator for *her* *grandchild* and nothing more. OP's husband is a spineless, gutless coward, and moron, for backing his mother when he should know whether she's a liar or not after growing up around her. What has me most concerned is how little the husband and MIL seem to care about OP's health and her treatment of the condition (not eating meat). They both showed a total lack of compassion or care for OP by MIL insisting she eat meat, and husband telling her to "let it go".
OP absolutely needs to get away from that toxic family, cut all ties, and ensure limited (or no) contact between them, her, and her child. No kid deserves to be raised by, or around, sick and twisted monsters like them.
The bra step-daughter story: so does the mom think that the daughter should wait for a week with her problems to not talk or get help from adult when she is at her father? Or skip the time at father because of manageable problem.. and if the girl felt uncomfortable to talk to the step mother then she would have called to the mother but she didn't.. or should op demand the girl to stop talking when she comes to op about something like that? What about then when the girl starts her period? "Yeaah sit in your blood for week so your mom can handle it when you go to her.. if the mom wants to handle all that kind of things she should start doing them before they come up naturally or just stop being jealous for the step mother having a good relationship with the kid, that is a great thing, not a negative... I would have loved to have (step) parent I can talk things like that when I was a kid, but oh no! I got my first bras by myself and kept them secret at first.. so she having two is amazing!!
If your working from 🏠, it doesn't mean, free time to watch kids and time for noise and interruptions when ever your family feels like it. Having a lock to keep them out cuz they keep crossing your boundaries means it is time for you to actually go into the office and work. What in the heck is he doing that he can't watch over his own kids?
OP NTA. Emma was at your 🏠 and Dan She didn't feel comfortable telling her dad so it is understandable that you asked what was wrong and comforted her. It was good that you let Dan know what was going on. Also think it was sweet Dan was willing to go too but totally understand he isn't an expert in that area and it might be awkward.
If Emma wanted to go shopping with her Mom for bras that would have been fine. Emma could have said she would rather go with her mom or called and let her mom know. I think OP should have let Dan tell his ex instead of OP though. I don't see why a step mom can't go bra shopping with their stepkid when the child is at their house. It isn't like op made the decision by herself. She talked to her husband. Also I doubt op is going to put her in some inappropriate under garments. Just because OP takes her to get some bras doesn't mean mom cant have a body talk and have a bonding bra shopping trip with her daughter when she is back.
1st: the parents are waiting for the kids to move out.
S3: Tell husband and MIL that when she gets her MD and manages OP’s health through a physician’s office, then she can manage her meals. Until then, MIL’s opinions will be ignored. If husband still agrees with MIL, kick him back to his mommy.
That comment :
So many families share one bathroom so children has no right to dictate
Bt having a gym is a absolute necessity?
How many houses has only one bathroom for 4 people bt a personal gym?
That commentor must be crazy
Story one: The first story,the NTA comment probably has done this shit and doesn't respect their kids
She should rent a room to work during office hours
Yes many cope with 1 bathroom but given they have the money and chose to work on the yard and other areas that benefitted only the parents first that's what makes the parents the ah.
3rd story, Your mother In law is a bully and your husband is enabling her.
1st story: YTA
I think that one commenter about waiting for the kids to move out is true.
They don’t want to put in the work so they’re playing the waiting game
Story1: YTA. Sharing a bathroom can really suck and I get that the parents earn the money but they are prioritizing their wants over the needs of the kids. Kids can wet themselves or worse waiting on someone to get out of the bathroom. I get fixing up the laundry room and kitchen, but the gym and backyard first? I know people who prioritize their own comforts of their children and the kids are miserable.
Story2: YTA. Ooh, OP pays for gas in a car that he uses. Doe she pay for oil changes or any maintenance? Probably not. The gf doesn't work so why tf does he need a babysitter? OP is only thinking about himself and not caring about how the mother feels. He should be grateful but it seems he thinks she's not doing enough for him. Sounds like a jerk I know. She doesn't *need* to make time to babysit a kid that isn't hers. She raised OP and should have been done with him when he turned 18, but no, she's still having to take care of him bc he's acting like an entitled child. She does not owe him babysitting or anything. Wait wait wait.. The son was PLANNED and they didn't have their shit together? That makes him even more of an asshole! Oh, I didn't realize parenting might be hard so now I want to dump my planned baby on my mother. She's right he doesn't manage money well. He should have saved up more $ before having a kid on purpose.
Story3: Wow, so MIL essentially threw out OP's food and then tried to gaslight her in front of everyone and tried to force her to eat something she wasn't supposed to eat for MEDICAL reasons and her husband told her to just "let it go"? WTAF? I hope she can find a good divorce lawyer. That guy will allow the MIL to poison the child and tell the wife to let it go. The husband, who does not have the medical issues & does not have to deal with the health consequences, told OP it wasn't "worth leaving the celebration". What he's saying is she's not worth standing up for. She doesn't matter to him. What a schmuck! MIL thinks OP is dramatic? Like throwing away someone's food and trying to force them to eat something that is bad for them isn't dramatic? This family is nuts and OP needs to run.
Story4: NTA. Emma felt comfortable opening up to OP about the cousins teasing her and OP did the right thing to help her. At that age, a tween needs all the support she can get (no pun intended) and she might not feel comfortable talking to the mom. I don't think she overstepped. It's not like she told her about sex or anything. I think the mom is just jealous that Emma talked to OP instead of to her. The mom might not be as supportive as OP. I know my friend's daughter has this struggle. She tells me and friend's gf stuff about what is going on at home (her brother beats her up) and she can't talk to her mom about it bc her mom yells at her and hits her for telling her. Although, after my friend confronted the ex over hitting the daughter, she started telling the daughter she's not allowed to tell anyone about what her brother does to her (for the record, he sexually abused her in the past & the ex didn't inform my friend about it for months and she still leaves the kids home alone together while knowing the older half-brother is abusive). And yes, we did report it to CPS, they talked to her & said that their system only deals with adults abusing children and they can't remove a child from a home if they are being abused by another child (which I think is bullshit).
Story5: The not considering work from home to be "real work" is a huge problem and very common. My best friend worked from home & his (ex)gf would not leave him in peace. She didn't work so she had nothing to do but play games all day and she was supposed to watch the kids but she's a lazy bitch so she wouldn't. My friend's job involved talking to customers on the phone. He had to add a door to his office bc his gf would barge in and yell at him about something or want him to do something. She would also shove her 6-yr-old brat (not my friend's kid) into the room and want my friend to watch him. Kid would mess with stuff, knock things down, talk, and interfere with friend's work. Gf still barged in so he put a lock on the door. So she would pound on the door and scream profanities at him at the top of her lungs. She and her father would constantly harass him and tell him he wasn't working and called him lazy. Mind you, she had never worked their entire relationship and he completely supported her and her kid bc her deadbeat exhusband wasn't paying child support. He ended up losing his job because of her. Having someone constantly barging in while you're working is so aggravating. I bet the husband wouldn't like it if OP barged into his office and interrupted his work constantly. Wow, OP's husband is a dick. She's not allowed to have privacy from the kids? Sounds like my friend's situation, only his ex didn't know how to take the lock off. She tried to break the door down though. Maybe OP should constantly call her husband at work and interrupt him to see how he likes it. Sheesh. It's the husband who is selfish if he won't let OP have any privacy to work. Ugh. So he sent his mommy after OP. Red flags. Time for divorce. This guy has no respect for OP and thinks she has no rights since its "his" house? Any guy who sicks his mommy on his wife/gf is a loser. Wait, so husband comes in and yells at OP and throws away her lock and tells her she has no right to privacy but SHE's the one being controlling? Ugh. Gaslighting. Run OP Run! NTA.
Story 1: You showed the kids that you word means nothing.
Second story. Why don’t they have money?? Sounds like someone needs to not be in charge of the money. I’m not sure who. But someone is spending it and they need to stop
story 1 you and your husband are the jerks here you promised your 4 kids a another bathroom but now the yard office and a gym had to come first your selfish instead of making life easier for everyone else you just had to have everything easier for you first sorry sometimes you have to pick your kids first but off course you come first here jerk 😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬
s2; Put the baby up for adoption so the kid will have a decent life with parents who aren't complete losers.
Since we're family and we live together I think it would be fair for my mother to babysit the child and it's my first kid and I didn't know it was going to be this hard. And lastly I I told her I understood about owing her the back rent but then I reminded her that I put gas in her car which you drive, and that I pay for half the insurance on the car which you again drive and belongs to her and if it wasn't for her car you wouldn't be putting gas or insurance into anything because you don't have a car just like you don't have a house so let's continue with this shenanigan that you call a life , with my following statements, so you a 20-year-old got an 18-year-old pregnant and you didn't think raising a kid was going to be that hard? And then you went on to say oh it's family and she lives here also no no no no no no she doesn't live there also it's your mother's house and you moved in to it let's get that straight real quick and the reason why you moved into it is because you don't have enough money to provide for a child which you should have thought of before getting your 18-year-old girlfriend pregnant also you're 18 year old girlfriend who doesn't work is going to have to get a job if you intend on raising that child in any capable way because you're $20 an hour job living with mommy in the spare bedroom is not going to cut it and at some point you're 18 year old girlfriend baby mama is going to start actually you know wanting to see what her friends who are older and having kids who plan their lives and you know aren't struggling have and you're not going to be able to provide it and she's going to cheat on you or go be with someone else who has more money than you because you just the pooch on this whole thing it's called where a condom if you don't think that raising a kid's going to be that hard when you are 20 and 18 years old. And if you did it on purpose well then my friend you made the bed and then you set it on fire and then pour gasoline on it but now you have to lay in it so good luck and your mom's a saint how dare you she's family she should babysit and do her share she did her share by allowing you to live there moron.
13:24 ad someone who had this problem the bio mom is gross , it’s not a milestone it’s an issue that needed some help atm….people body and what comes with them are not milestones for other people