Hello you beauties. Access all episodes 10 hours earlier than TH-cam by Subscribing on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw. Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Catching Up 05:28 Fyre Festival 2.0 14:56 Will New Transgender Powerlifting Policies Impact Sport? 26:53 The Terrible Logic of Extreme Body Positivity 29:22 Is Watching Porn Considered Cheating? 43:01 Bradley Cooper’s Anti-Semitic Nose Job 47:30 Thoughts on Vivek Ramaswamy’s Republican Candidacy 50:07 Californians Are Having Sex in Robot Cars 54:28 Zack’s Trip to Japan & Korea 1:05:10 British Drinking Culture 1:10:11 The Real Lifestyle of a DJ 1:17:10 Do Creators or Audiences Enjoy the Content More? 1:26:43 Where to Find Zack
You are urged to become VEGAN, since carnism (the destructive ideology that supports the use and consumption of animal products, especially for “food”) is arguably the foremost existential crisis.🌱
It's entirely understandable and justifiable to feel betrayed by a partner who does something that, in your mind, violates the expectations of the relationship. What is NOT acceptable is infantilizing your partner to where, like an inmate, any perceived or real infraction warrants the immediate revocation of sovereignty your partner has. Your partner is not your child, they are not a malfunctioning machine that needs to be reprogrammed, they are a human being. If you can't treat them as such, you should not be in a relationship because, regardless of any wrongdoing on their part, your immediate reaction is to view them as something subhuman and deserving no control (and responsibility) of their actions.
thing is right she did help her husband who was an addict but she made it all about her self like she was the bigger victum. she felt betrayal but how entitled she was thinking that her husband wouldnt think about some other women but i don't know she surly has some thoughts about guys who were attractive in 10 years of marriage its not husband suffering from PMO addiction shes suffered more man thats like new levels of victimhood. like he cant even look at secen in a movie she just controlling the dudes life. you cant see this do this that fuked but of guy says he doesn't his wife to post bikini pics online thats controlling and this is was not.
Story sounds like she's just projecting herself onto him. I mean, we all do that, but she does it to a tremendously larger extent than what I'm comfortable with.
@@GE0attack watching porn once in awhile when you can get some time alone from your wife is not an addiction, if he was like hardcore doing it everyday sure but it sounds like a man in a passionless relationship looking to feel something that isn't his wife cause she isn't attractive to him and that something they need to work on sure. but to call him an addict is just stupid cause we don't have true full context.
The porn question is clearly a failure of cross-sex mind reading on both sides. Men don't get how much it actually hurts women, and women don't understand just how intense male sex drive can be.
some women it hurts which if they have been in a relationship that long like 10 years then he would already know that. or they are just a bad couple in bad relationship and she is denying how bad the reality is cause this is year one shit.
I would NOT be able to be in a relationship with this woman if I were a dude with her being this controlling and espousing terms like "betrayal trauma"... I find it kind of snowflakey. I also find it too hyperbolic when compared to more actual tangible forms of betrayal like actual cheating... You guys were actually far kinder and softer in your dialogue about this than I would have thought, so I commend you. But yeah, if you have to be this controlling or you are being controlled so much that even sex scenes in movies are triggers I cannot see that kind of relationship lasting.
We live in a pornified world, where it’s so easy to access and basically considered acceptable, so I understand that most people won’t respect the “female typical”/Christian attitudes towards porn. However, if you think watching porn is harmful, it’s important to be in a relationship with someone who shares the same beliefs and values. It’s something that should be discussed before marriage and serious commitment. If I were to discover that my partner was watching porn, I wouldn’t consider it as serious as “cheating”, but I would feel somewhat betrayed if he had crossed a boundary that we had set in our marriage (and also done something that we both agree is morally wrong). As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more sympathetic to the stark sexual differences between men and women. I don’t wish to police men’s thoughts, but I do expect my husband to act honorably. I don’t necessarily think just because men’s higher sociosexuality is “natural” that it’s necessarily good for them to act on those urges without restraint. I have to restrain natural urges all the time. If I ate everything I wanted to, I would be overweight and unhealthy, and that would probably hurt my marriage too.
Drama is to women what porn is to men but no one attacks dramas. The problem is men's sexuality is demonized as a violation of women. Chances are even without corn which is honest in its overt sexual presentation he will become stimulated by some image or person somewhere along the way. Now he can come to you after that stimulation and you become something of a proxy or he can take care of himself either because you were not available or he just wanted a quick orgasm without all the work of a lovemaking session.
@@paulatreides4274 I don’t understand the drama comparison. Not sure what you mean by that. I’m only speaking from my perspective, which is a religious one - so it will be immediately dismissed by most. It’s not about men v. women, and women villlainizing male sexuality. It’s about a man and woman being on the same page in their faith, values, expectations, and commitment to each other. It’s about regarding marriage and intimacy as something sacred. That doesn’t mean we’ll always have perfectly pure thoughts or that we’ll never mess up or never fantasize about others, but it means we both agree to make certain sacrifices so that we’ll turn to each other for our needs and desires as much as possible. I don’t think most people like the idea of making sacrifices (even for something greater - like a marriage you hope will last for your lifetime), but beautiful things can come from it.
Quote from the Christian Bible. Matthew 5:27-28 (ESV) - “You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery. ' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Quote from the islamic Quran. The Quran 19:20:, chapter on Mary mother of Jesus (may peace be upon him). She (Mary) said: "How can I have a son when no man has ever touched me? - for, never have I been unchaste!" If it means this much to God, then it should to men AND WOMEN. Peace
@@byyouthgonewild I was speaking in the context of greater society and people as a whole. By drama I meant the sex contained within dramas and romance/erotic literature as that is the primary sexual fantasy material for women. The novel Fifty Shades of Grey was celebrated and made into a mainstream film. I'm happy you take your commitments to your religion and marriage seriously. Best of luck to you.
I’ve been watching Zack’s work for the past 4 months and it has helped me enormously through my weight lifting progress and overall performance in my sport. I had no idea you guys were roomies and this just made so much sense 🤯 thanks for keeping it real guys! Hasta la vista 👊
I've been living in Japan for over a year now & it truly is an amazing place. It's clean, it's technologically advanced, & the people are fascinating. My favorite description that I heard from a friend, "It's nonchalantly spiritual while being overwhelmingly claustrophobic." I agree 100%. The discipline these people have is a sight to behold. But I have to say for Zack, I would urge you to visit the countryside of Japan whenever he visits again. It's breathtaking.
I would argue that porn is NOT cheating in the way that killing people in video games is not murder. If you have an addiction and it’s ruining your relationship, then it’s an addiction problem the same way that alcohol can be an addiction problem. I would even add that using fantasy in a healthy way could probably help with being faithful. For example, if your backed up and and a real life woman comes on to you, and for whatever reason you have not been able to be intimate with your partner (one of you is away, or having health issues, etc) you’re going to have a much harder time reaisting than if you just regularly have your own methods of release. Same as how if you are extremely angry at someone to the point that you are having violent thoughts, hitting a punching back can help you let go of that energy.
@@juliettailor1616 we’re not arguing about the science behind porn and video games, we’re arguing about ethics, which is subjective. No amount of “science” will determine whether or not watching porn constitutes cheating. If you have a counter argument, provide one, but if you’re just going to obfuscate, don’t waste your time.
The intent for both activities are different no? One is lust while the other is 'gamified murder' which is kinda unreal. I dont think the average gamer craves the actual process and weight of murder whilst lust is a longing with real feelings Sure both acivities can bring about real world tangible results but the desire to 'actual' murder from gaming pales in comparison to the desire to lust from porn
@@DanneoYT it really depends on how a person uses porn, yeah, if you’re getting emotionally attached to the person behind the screen and literally longing to be with them that would be problematic, but that is still not literally cheating, but it would be valid grounds for breakup if persistent and can be considered emotional cheating. Just like how if you actually want to murder people and you use violent video games to fuel that intent, that is very problematic. If you’re just using porn or fiction as a sensual stimuli for arousal though, that just doesn’t register as cheating to me, but it’s really ip to the individual couple. Cheating is about breaking trust and the implicit or explicit terms of the relationship, you can even literally have sex with other people and it not he cheating if you’re both okay with it ahead of time. “Cheating” like when you cheat on a test or game means you broke the rules. In a relationship the culture or subculture you operate in determines the rules of the relationship to an extent but it’s ultimately up to each individual couple to decide what those rules are.
When these numbers about porn and failed partnerships come up, I always want to know: What was their frequency of intimacy, and was the drive imbalance. Was intimacy used as a tool by one partner as a trade good/reward. Did she pull back from intimacy when she found out?
Yeah in my marriage usually most of my porn use came from her simply not wanting to have sex. She did have depression she was dealing with so it was more understandable, but I always went to her first. Anyway she knew about it and it wasn't a problem for us. We had other issues but that wasn't one of them.
Lol WHO wants to be intimate with their porn watching partner. He already made it non special. Many women like sexual intimacy because its special and bonding..
I have sex with my husband every day. And I’m not shy. I’ve made him our own videos, gotten wigs, lingerie, dressed up, down, cars, parking lots, blowies in my office and yet he still has had such an outrageous porn issue it’s so unattractive. He’s getting better but. I’m an attractive and sexual woman. I hate feeling like porn is this stupid thing he can’t help or something. What outlet do I have? I’m sexual. Can I pursue attention from other men or am I just supposed to put up with sharing my husbands gaze and fantasies with thousands of other women. It’s gross.
If thats what is happening with a partner best to chat about it. .one of the biggest mistakes in adult relationships with commitment is lack of communicating together BEFORE any long term coupling and decisions are made the sexual part of eachother/ drive /frequency/ attitude/ timing/ ability to explore / acceptable time out/ Open to Adventure and above all where to place the importance in the relationship The sheer lack of sharing on this topic is alarming and can be the single issue to take a good relationship off the rails .
Fantasizing is not cheating, watching porn is not cheating, masturbating is not cheating, using sex toys is not cheating. Only cheating is cheating. If you have reservations about the morality of these other things then no problems, but lets not confuse them with ACTUAL cheating. Lets not redefine the word cheating to encompass other things that are not cheating.
Without having listened to this podcast yet, my initial thought on the headline is that a female equivalent statement would be something along the lines of... 'if you read romance novels, you're not being faithful.' I'm not really sure how I feel about either statement yet... Time to listen to the podcast.
@@mrs.americanpie2079My thought was that men are more visually oriented than women... So in theory, men could get more emotionally invested in their favorite pornstars just based on looks. Similarly, I think it is common to see women's physical preferences change according to the subject whatever romantic thoughts they have had... 'I never liked bearded guys before...' or whatever.
Last time I flew on a plane, a lady wearing crosses tried tot talk to me about religion for a bit. Then she got into reading a novel. I peeked over and out of 2 paragraphs, it was absolutely, 100%, explicit hardcore stuff. Practically the equivalent of a man watching porn on a plane with headphones on and a screen-polarizer. Neither is cheating. If you're a woman and want your man/husband to watch less porn? Have more sex (with him).
Exactly. In any romantic relationship you're going to have moments where one partner is in the mood and the other isn't, and there's nothing wrong with people taking care of themselves as needed until they either find or plan a time where they're both ready to get it on together. Putting all responsibility for your sexual satisfaction on the other person is too much of a burden.
Quote from the Christian Bible. Matthew 5:27-28 (ESV) - “You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery. ' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Quote from the islamic Quran. The Quran 19:20:, chapter on Mary mother of Jesus (may peace be upon him). She (Mary) said: "How can I have a son when no man has ever touched me? - for, never have I been unchaste!" If it means this much to God, then it should to men AND WOMEN. Peace
@@ksubyslowed He assured me that “all men do this”. We had four small children and divorce would be just too difficult. I chose to live with it, though it tore me apart inside.
I always considered it cheating. When im with one person, i like to give them ALL of my sexual energy. You'd be surprised how well you treat someone when they are the only thing responsible for your orgasms. Also, i know that when i don't feel like doing that anymore, the relationship is pretty much over, it's a good indicator for me.
If you’re in a monogamous relationship and you’re having to virtually watch other people have sex then something is missing in your relationship. It might mean that you’re not having sex enough or that you don’t find your partner physically attractive, therefore you’re needing that gap externally fulfilled. I don’t know if it’s cheating per se, but I don’t think it’s good for a healthy relationship as you’re needing porn to fulfill a need that’s lacking. Also, I just don’t think the never ending cheap unearned dopaminergic release is a good cycle to repeat for yourself in general. You should be attaching that system to something more meaningful, like the pursuit of goals.
I think you're reading into it too much -- I don't think males are that complicated. At least for me, the desire for relationships is driven by sex hormones and once I get those out of the way I come back to my senses and realize that there's nothing in it for me with relationships these days. Thus, for me, porn is a necessary 'rationality regulator' for me and without it I would be continuously blundering through relationships like a lot of women do. It's extremely ill-advised to trust your lizard brain to make the right decisions. "Trust your feelings" is why this country is in a giant mess to begin with. Once there's an actual reason for me to be in a relationship, rationally-speaking, then I will pursue one. Porn isn't making women less desirable to men, women are. If sex is the only motivator for modern men to be in relationships, then modern women aren’t bringing enough to the table to make the pros outweigh the cons.
@@jacobmorenzoni1873 I honestly couldn’t care less. It’s free on the internet. If I’m going to hitch my entire life to someone else’s it’s going to be for a better reason than to have sex. Or if you’re talking about people that are already in relationships, it’s entirely probable that it’s because the woman in the relationship isn’t offering.
I was married to someone who hated porn and even me glancing at another woman in public, especially at the beach or pool. We aren't married anymore. Guys if you have a woman like that - LEAVE. It's deep-seated insecurity that you can't fix and isn't your fault.
Married now? In a relationship? Glancing at other women is one thing but sorry, a woman who hating porn is NOT deep-seated insecurity. It's hating something that portrays women as objects. P.s. Yes I like sex and yes I am in a long standing partnership.
@@juliettailor1616 yep, been in a long-term relationship for seven years now. It's not so much the porn aversion that I have a problem with, but if you can't bear the idea of your partner even looking at another woman (in real life or a movie) then there's definitely a problem. I also think most women don't understand how men view/use porn: it's basically the equivalent to a female vibrator, men just need visual stimulation instead of physical. 10 seconds after I've finished watching, I've already forgotten what I saw. 🤣
@@juliettailor1616I assume romance novels are off-limits for you since you’re in a relationship. Or is it only the male fantasies (visual, variety) that are bad, and women’s (emotional, single partner upgrade) allowable?
The section about "British Drinking Culture" is incredibly funny, but also so true. I moved from the UK to the West Coast of NA and the difference between drinking culture is pretty stark. "A moderate session in the UK is still going to be eight drinks" & "We treat it like a competetive sport" 😅
@@rubyblu21 You paying his alimony and child support for him ? Are you going to defend him in court from the false allegations women are encouraged to press by their lawyers ? Why don't we just gasp ask women to service their husbands. Oh the misogyny and horror.
At 15:50 ,when he is stumbling over his words talking about the man in women's power lifting, is a good example of whomever controls the language controls the discussion.
I’m a woman who watches porn when my partner isn’t around. It’s just an extreme explicit form of content to get you off quickly. It’s really not that intense of an issue to discuss. Sometimes forming a loving Romantic fantasy in your head just doesn’t do it for you when you’re in the mood for a quickie. It’s not that deep. Also, why do we assume it’s only men who watch porn in relationships? All of my girlfriends with partners do. We all have sexual impulses, and unfortunately live in a world of quick fixes that are difficult to resist.
Yeah and honestly I have zero problems with my partner watching at all. The only time porn is a problem is when you are turning down your partner for sex and turning to porn instead. Honestly though that's not the majority of cases.
And what if you are giving them everything and they still want to fantasize about others. Why is this just normal? I want to worship my man by only thinking of him. I think it’s so hot. Why isn’t that the narrative?
@@hibaabdali3535 if you give them everytying and they want more. Leave. They arent good for you. They are greedy and selfish. Trying to change people is a recipe for disaster. Sticking around to kick and scream till you have your way doesnt fix the problem. It just lets you vent instead of doing to tough thing which is setting up boundaries. And if they are crossed. You leave.
I wouldn't say it's cheating necessarily. But to me it's about respect for your partner. Out of respect for me, I expect my husband not to lust after other women, whether that's only in his mind or not. Yes, porn is a fantasy but they are real women and men having real sex on a screen.
You are expecting someone to control their own thoughts, which simply isn’t possible. Asking your partner to control their ACTIONS by not indulging in porn is one thing (which I don’t happen to agree with, incidentally), but expecting them never to experience sexual attraction to anyone else ever is simply ludicrous. It’s also vain as fuck.
@@jccuchvjvjyou people are pathetic and gross. How can someone be so weak that mental control isn't even something in their frame of mind. It doesn't even occur to you that someone isn't a slave to their subconscious and that's really really sad
Ok why don't you try not thinking about eating sweets or carbohydrates of any kind for the rest of your life. If you do we'll punish you! Let me know how that goes!
Being married to that woman who thinks masturbation and porn is a "betrayal" that left her deeply traumatized and then posts the whole thing on the internet sounds like an insufferable nightmare. Yikes.
You are where your mind is, as the mind doesn't differentiate between physical or imagined reality. If a person has taken a vow to be faithful to another and then fantasizes about breaking that vow with another person, in essence they have been unfaithful. The degree to which this is acceptable, or not, neess to be sorted out before those vows are taken. The betrayl issue is very real and incredibly hurtful. However, where there is love there is always the opportunity for forgiveness and the reinstatement of the vulnerability required in order to live from the heart. We are all human and we all fall short of our own best intentions on occasion. To hold someone's transgressions over them indefinitely is not love. 💜
Yeah you guys are fucked. I remember some stat that said another ~100 years and the population is going to drop below 50% that it is now. Basically you guys are dying out. My condolences, I like South Korea. Keep in mind every western nation is basically dying out, it's just that you are, like in many other things, the best at it.
If a woman is so damaged and insecure that she feels she has to control what her partner sees with his OWN eyes then that relationship is doomed. It’s infantile behaviour and in the same arena as the perpetually offended woke mob. She’s mothering him and censoring him as if he is her son. This is not a healthy dynamic for a partnership to grow. There is no universe where this emasculation is acceptable. I feel sorry for that bloke. I hope he wakes up soon and realises just what a monster he has been captured by.
Sounds like a very weak man. You should have the courage to bring up these conversations with your partner. Especially, ahead of marriage. I always do….. maybe that’s why I’m single 🤔
Riley Gaines was the swimmer who tied Liah Thomas for the National Championship. She's effectively the other side of the coin. Very well decorated collegiate swimmer.
On this question I think we ought to defer to the most morally insightful person in history, who said: "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
The dictionary definition of Lust is very strong sexual desire towards a person. Attraction is irrational, you can’t control how strongly attracted you are towards a person. That scripture doesn’t fall in line with reality.
@@Khan-rz8qiYes because this reality is different than spiritual world, no one is talking about if you’re able to control it, it just says that it is a sin.
Quote from the Christian Bible. Matthew 5:27-28 (ESV) - “You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery. ' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Quote from the islamic Quran. The Quran 19:20:, chapter on Mary mother of Jesus (may peace be upon him). She (Mary) said: "How can I have a son when no man has ever touched me? - for, never have I been unchaste!" If it means this much to God, then it should to men AND WOMEN. Peace
The girl in question sounds under developed, insecure or otherwise damaged. Men will look at other women and find them attractive. Women will do the same, I'm not naive, I know my wife wife will find men attractive and she understands that I will have drive towards other women. Its the action that makes the difference. And when there is a mismatch in sex drive, me being high and her low there is a 100% open understanding that I'm going to be supplementing. This keeps our marriage in tact and has made sure that I am able to bring new exciting ideas to the table when things start to feel routine
I really enjoy these bro episodes that you do with your flatmate zach. Please consider doing them in person next time- it would definitely add to the energy and the chemistry that you guys have, clearly you are bros! With respect to the main question of the podcast, fascinating discussion, but I think only Chris truly grasps just how nuanced this issue is. Zach equates viewing pornography as the point at which fantasy becomes reality, whereas I would counter that going out and hiring a prostitute or sleeping with some random club bimbo, would be what constitutes unacceptable action. Based on the logic of the woman in the story, reading a romance novel should also be considered "cheating" or being unfaithful. Viewing pornography should really be considered equivalent to reading spicy romance novels. Remember, men are much more visual than women, and the brain is the largest sex organ in the body.
There is a flip side that helps. Women dress attractively. Consciously it may not be to attract another mate but biologically it is. Dressing attractively increases the probability of an affair. Men seeking solo sexual release might also cause a weaker relationship and then an affair. There is no tension free solution. There is only a seeking of balance in the tension.
@@vanessac1965 I dress smartly rather than 'attractively'. I dress smartly because I have self respect and dress that way because I want to. I couldn't care less what other people think, women or men.
I don’t think it’s cheating as such. It can condition the mind to be attracted to voyeurism and over time lose attraction to your partner. Which in ways will harm the relationship as sex won’t be as arousal as sex.
If the man is getting regular sex and still looks at porn, then he has a problem. If he isn't having regular sex and looks at porn, then the problem is with her.
I am a woman who doesn't like when my partner gets off to porn alone. Yes, I am self conscious about my body. I think it's in a woman's biology to be constantly comparing herself to other women. It's how we compete. I think Zack is correct in saying that it's all about communication. My partner and I tell each other our needs, and our relationship continues to grow and be strong. I don't want him watching porn, so he doesn't, and he's happy not to because he knows I'm happy to fulfill that need for him. In a previous relationship, my boyfriend told me I was crazy for getting upset at him for watching porn because EVERYONE watches porn. The crazy thing was - I was in the mood for sex so much more than he was. He constantly denied me because he was getting his rocks off on his own and he was "tired" at the end of the day. And he wonders why I left him. 🤔 I'm kinda just tired of men making fun of women who get self conscious about porn. Communication is key. Negotiate with your partner on how you can both get what you want in your relationship. I'm not against erotic content btw. My partner and I look at hentai together. 🙂
It’s absolutely NOT cheating. There’s no emotional and physical connection for the vast majority. My GF even calls it a substitute when she’s not in the mood. Only a extremely small exception becomes addicted.
i heard someone use the analogy: if you look at the menu at mc donalds(just an example can substitute it with any other restaurant) but dont order anything after a certain amount times of doing that regularly, eventually you will order something….
Some artists may discount their earlier work when they were more passionate and idealistic. Then they get big headed and arrogant later on, caring less or nothing for their past ideals or convictions.
Chris, you’re so cute what you think romance novels are. Would love to see the look on your face if you ever were to update your point of reference. Honestly, it would be so funny.
Whether or not it’s cheating is something that will be unique to each relationship. There is no hard yes or no on this. With each individual being different, the dynamic created in the couple will be incredibly nuanced. If the no porn rule was discussed early on, and was agreed upon by both parties, and one person breaks that agreement then clearly it is a bond broken. You are allowed to have the expectations and boundaries that you feel are important, and your partner is allowed to say no. However, sneaking around, breaking clearly established agreements of a sexual nature, it is absolutely cheating. If someone can’t respect that, then they are a dishonest and cowardly person who doesn’t deserve you. (For perspective, I am a woman who has been married for 10 years, has initiated the occasional threesome, and has a considerably liberal view on sexuality.)
Watching adult content daily is an issue even if your partner is ok with it. Erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, disturbed stimuli that will not be met by your partner, lack of pair bonding, etc., and these are only the effects of 1 person, the other person in the relationship will suffer as well. Alcoholics can be functioning members of society and hide their problems well, does that mean they aren't addicted? Discuss pornography, what is okay, and what is not okay. If both of you are too far off-field from each other, call it quits if you don't want to work together (like the lady in the video and her husband). Sex and Money are the top reasons people divorce.
28:00 Lol I laughed a great bit in this small segment, Chris is mad funny.😂 Honestly, I actually support those body positivity people, because at the end of the day it only makes my athletic physique more impressive. Those people can fool themselves all they want, but they’re always going to be dissatisfied with themselves. I just hope they don’t they that anger out on those of us who physically take themselves seriously. At that point, I’ll be down to throw some hands.💯
Props to Chris for drawing the distinction between Andrew Tate and scammers like Billy McFarland, and Logan Paul. Lumping them all in together was sloppy thinking on Zack's part.
The solution is simple.... First, individual sports. Allow trans athletes to compete (without the ability to obtain a record). they need to match the weight category and have hormone lvls as it's determined normal for that gender. Follow for a couple of years. Yes, the trans athletes won't be able to obtain any records, but it is how it is, must be 'a test' first. Then, check, across those weight categories in individual sports whether trans athletes are significantly better, by proper calculations, some will be better, some won't, check the averages, etc and see the results. Based on those results you can make decisions on team sports. It's like people don't know how science, research and experiments work....
Thoughts lead to actions. I would feel and have been betrayed by a porn-watching husband. I didn’t appreciate the secrets surrounding the internet use and don’t understand it’s necessity within the boundary of monogamy.
I agree. It's not only the fact that a husband is getting sexual gratification from other women/men (especially if the wife is willing and wanting to do whatever the husband desires and initiates herself too), but the behaviors that surround it (hiding, lying, acting disconnected, ED issues, coercion, no romance, lack of motivation, lack of effort, lack of empathy, and all the other issues that can come from porn use, etc). It's one thing to use it while single (which I also don't think is healthy, given the research and ways it has damaged people in my life), but when married, your spouse is whom you covet and share sexual experiences with.... not porn stars.
@summersalix seriously great points. Most people just want to rationalize their porn use. And becuase most people use it, it is easy to justify as normal and ok
The Kenny Everett character (Marcel Wave) got a big laugh when he said that to spuce up his marriage he and his wife go out foir a romantic candlelight dinner once a week. "I go Wednesday and she goes Friday".
I think it depends, generally in a relationship you shouldnt have to because you're taking care of each others needs. Some couples enjoy watching it together occasionally. If you're already open about it, and we are both seperated from each other for a period of time, its acceptable. Now if needs are not being met, is when I can see some people using it - which could be a sign for a conversation. If they are just watching to watch, than that is odd. Do I think it's cheating? Definitely not. Do I think in some relationships it can be a deal breaker? Absolutely. It all depends on the individuals.
Could you share a link to the music of the singer-songwriter Pat that your housemate mentioned (living in Austin, originally from Ireland). Would love to check it out. Thank you in advance!
I feel like if that woman could be inside her husbands mind for a day she'd be divorced! You cant control thoughts which is essentially what shes trying to do by vetting any images or videos that might trigger an erotic thought in his mind.
Hell, going to the gym is almost like looking at erotica in real life. Women having on shorts and sports bras so tight you can tell what they ate for breakfast. Nothing is left to the imagination. It's a joke to be honest. And then they tell you, you can't think one dirty thought? Have you tried controlling your mind?? What is this clown shit?
There is a flip side that helps. Women dress attractively. Consciously it may not be to attract another mate but biologically it is. Dressing attractively increases the probability of an affair. Men seeking solo sexual release might also lead to a weaker relationship and then an affair. There is no tension free solution. There is only a seeking of balance in the tension.
Dont stop watching porn for her. Stop watching porn for yourself. People saying betrayal trauma is a silly reason to stol watching porn are missing the point. And risk justifying watching porn due to said silly reason. There are plenty of reasons not to watch porn.
I think you’re really underestimating the damage of porn on men and women. You should interview Jason evert who has done a ton of research in this field
I am a Christian wife whose husband is not a believer. I know he sometimes watches porn because he has admitted that he struggles with it. I used to watch it a lot too before I met Jesus. We didn’t think it was a big deal then. According to the Bible “If you look at a woman to lust after her, you have committed adultery in your heart”. So by Jesus’s standards my husband is technically cheating but I don’t think that me criticizing him or making him feel bad about something that he is truly struggling with is going to help anything. I pray for my husband every day. God will change his heart when the time comes. Also outside of the mild porn use he is a wonderful husband. Everyone struggles with sin and he is no different. I made vows and I intend to keep them.
*Wanna Feel Old?* I've been watching Chris Williamson's interviews for about two years, probably around 50-60, but I never really looked into his background until now. I thought he was around my age or maybe five to ten years younger. Turns out he was 4 when I graduated from high school in 1992. Yeah, I'm probably not looking at myself closely enough in the mirror.
@@juliettailor1616 Thank you for your reply, Juliet. I sort of thought so as well. I was thinking Chris Williamson looked around 40-45. I was surprised that Wikipedia said he was born in 1992. Then again, I also do editing on Wikipedia myself, so I'm wondering if the "1992" birth year (making him ca. 31) might be an error that needs editing?
People dont seem to understand that testosterone and Estrogen dont wait for puberty to start the chnages to the body. Even if its pre puberty there will still on average a higher muscle mass and bone density and estrogen doesnt undo that
Even asking this question is absurd. Men who honor Life, who honor Woman, would not spend one moment of their precious time on earth watching the degradation of Woman as sex object only for passing superficial sexual gratification-- which is what most porn is. He would not do it, whether he was involved with a long-term commitment or not. It would have nothing to do with "cheating on a woman." He would not watch it because he values himself, his consciousness and his life.
Interesting comment section, its mainly about men watching porn and how this may impact the women but I am curious how men feel if there wife/girlfriend is regularly watching alone hot guy porn with only the hottest and most well endowed men? Genuinely curious as to how it goes that way round?
Honestly? I don't care. I have and would watch it with her. If anything it shows me more about what she's into, maybe I need to hit the gym to look more like the men she likes besides me. It's funny how people make such a huge issue out of this 😂😂😂!
@@Anotherguy1st thanks for responding - What if she didn't want you to watch it with her on the whole, what if she just enjoyed locking herself in her room 2-3 nights a week with a few drinks and lots of porn? Is there a point where it gets uncomfortable for you?
@kazapeach9487 This is such a straw man argumenr. Most guys who use porn don't lock themselves away in a porn chamber with alcohol 2 to 3 nights a week and just avoid their partners and family. Quit making up fake scenarios for your argument
@@Kkrider84 this really is a real scenerio i know about..i know this isnt the norm for men who watch porn but neither is it unheard of... . Im guessing you would find this unacceptable in your girlfriend/wife then since you find it so outrageous that you think it couldnt possibly be true?
On the whole East Asian drinking culture thing, apparently its really tied into working culture. After closing time everyone in an office for example will go out to drink for team bonding but the lower position workers will try to get close to the higher ups for raises and promotions. Everyone knows that's what is going on but for some reason if you're sober and doing this they see you as manipulative and stuff so everyone gets shitfaced and hopes they can piece together a coherent sentence to convince their boss they deserve a raise. And since the bosses of today were interns and beginners not too long ago they've gone through the cycle and are too used to getting hammered to care if they should stop. A couple cycles of this happening to the whole population and everyone is drinking crazy amounts every time they go out. Found this out from a video I saw on TH-cam shorts a while ago not entirely sure how accurate it is but kinda fits what I've seen of Japanese society.
I think i can help the DJs and preformers out there who are struggiling with the life style. I challenege them to a month labouring for me in the contruction game for the going rates in the pissing rain of Scotland or UK and i guarantee some appreciatation for the life style will be installed in them. Try the brutal traveling but add in the harsh condition, the shitty wages, the injuries you pick up, the dust you breathe in, and the ridiculous lack of freedom and youll love being a DJ for ever more. Ps love this podcast, living the dream mah boys 💪 hopefully i can save myself one day 🙏
@@artn2950 Sex isn't always about feelings for men. Sometimes it only pure physical pleasure. When a man watches porn for physical pleasure only, a woman might think her man doesn't love her anymore. That's a problem.
Is tel losing the light of his intuition? When one goes a period of time talking, more than listening and thinking, i have noticed ones intuition tends to fade a bit
38:50 Is that a "woman view"? I'm very much a dude, but that sounds like integrity/religousness for me. I understand it may be harder for me. But as far as pure love goes, it's higher integrity. But I do think that woman will all practically close their legs for 90% of dudes.
A dilemma for you - would you rather be "cheated on" with p0rn or with another person? I personally would choose the p0rn option even if it's done a1000 times, over another person 1 time.
@@summersalix I understand that you see both as problematic. But please do answer. A dilemma means that you can't pick "both" or "neither". Which option would you choose?
You could argue that him wanking to porn is her fault, because if he was meeting his sex drive he wouldn't be watching porn! So that imbalance caused him to watch porn not only that he is actually being a good partner because he is not off seeking sex with other people
Chris. Much love, but you really need to get more people on who don’t just repeat what you believe on the subject of porn and how it harms relationships because it’s a HUGE problem just listening to my friends and their relationship problems over the last 30 years 😢
About porn - that couple is on their way to catastrofy. I do watch porn, and my wife knows about it. She is not exsited, but she understands that there is times when she is not awailable and it is not every week. We can watch it together, she knows what I like, she knows that she is in that "range" of woman. We can talk about it, and thats a main thing. Talk. If you want thing or two - talk. Cosplay in bed - talk. Talking can make wonders. But in that case there is certanly a wery low self image on that womans mind and posibly more things under the rug. And I hate that twiter/tik-tok vloging thing. Its like "here I have a" problem" and I will vlog it and I will have views and people will pat me". Thats what makes me make "thats a fing bullshit" face
If you're looking for things ppl are REALLY irrational about, porn has to be top of the list. Otherwise we'd have MONUMENTS built for Reilly Reid, et al ... for the STDs prevented, unwanted pregnancies avoided, abortions avoided, sexual assaults avoided,... those reduction numbers are no doubt HUGE. How many times has porn sent otherwise sexually frustrated men out into the world with an unloaded gun? And all that is ignoring just the pleasure porn produces for consumers and the frustration reduced.
One the "Is porn cheating" point, the female equivalency of a "no porn partner" would be "is she having extended fantasies?" So no more Dark Romance novels or Mills & Boon for her!
Really enjoy Chris's interviewing skills, hence why I listen to the pod, but man, it's tough listening to a couple of gigachad's discuss their successes, philosophies etc. Just can't relate lol
If you have a problem with your partner watching porn you better be willing and able to put out whenever they want it. Otherwise porn keeps the higher libido partner sane.
Am I the only one who is getting small glimpses, here and there, of this podcast becoming increasingly righteous in tone/spirit? Maybe even bordering on Christian-oriented? Some of Chris's recent guests kind of have that flavor. Not saying its entirely a bad thing, but some topics (like this one) make me kinda roll my eyes and want to tune out.
You're probably not the only one. But when you are openly exploring values and virtues in your conversations, it is almost inevitable that you will find yourself understanding and espousing traditional Christian values and virtues. We do live in western civ after all. Not the worst thing in the world. Jordan Peterson has been taking his viewers on that journey for sometime now. I believe there is a profound, if not divine reason for that. I mean, where is the woke culture taking us and how do you think that is going to work out in the end? We need to re-examine our values and traditions. We've tossed a lot of babies out with the bathwater.
I don’t see how this logic (that I otherwise understand on a purely intellectual level) can sustainably work. If the husband engage in self-pleasure, when she’s away and thinks of her instead of porn, is that still cheating ? If he fantasises about her wearing something she never did or doing something new or in a new or imaginary place, is that surly cheating ? I mean… it feels to me very very controlling not to allow one’s partner to self-pleasure themselves. Am I being too liberal here ? 😂
Hello you beauties. Access all episodes 10 hours earlier than TH-cam by Subscribing on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw. Here’s the timestamps:
00:00 Catching Up
05:28 Fyre Festival 2.0
14:56 Will New Transgender Powerlifting Policies Impact Sport?
26:53 The Terrible Logic of Extreme Body Positivity
29:22 Is Watching Porn Considered Cheating?
43:01 Bradley Cooper’s Anti-Semitic Nose Job
47:30 Thoughts on Vivek Ramaswamy’s Republican Candidacy
50:07 Californians Are Having Sex in Robot Cars
54:28 Zack’s Trip to Japan & Korea
1:05:10 British Drinking Culture
1:10:11 The Real Lifestyle of a DJ
1:17:10 Do Creators or Audiences Enjoy the Content More?
1:26:43 Where to Find Zack
You are urged to become VEGAN, since carnism (the destructive ideology that supports the use and consumption of animal products, especially for “food”) is arguably the foremost existential crisis.🌱
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It's entirely understandable and justifiable to feel betrayed by a partner who does something that, in your mind, violates the expectations of the relationship. What is NOT acceptable is infantilizing your partner to where, like an inmate, any perceived or real infraction warrants the immediate revocation of sovereignty your partner has. Your partner is not your child, they are not a malfunctioning machine that needs to be reprogrammed, they are a human being. If you can't treat them as such, you should not be in a relationship because, regardless of any wrongdoing on their part, your immediate reaction is to view them as something subhuman and deserving no control (and responsibility) of their actions.
thing is right she did help her husband who was an addict but she made it all about her self like she was the bigger victum. she felt betrayal but how entitled she was thinking that her husband wouldnt think about some other women but i don't know she surly has some thoughts about guys who were attractive in 10 years of marriage its not husband suffering from PMO addiction shes suffered more man thats like new levels of victimhood. like he cant even look at secen in a movie she just controlling the dudes life. you cant see this do this that fuked but of guy says he doesn't his wife to post bikini pics online thats controlling and this is was not.
Story sounds like she's just projecting herself onto him. I mean, we all do that, but she does it to a tremendously larger extent than what I'm comfortable with.
@@GE0attack watching porn once in awhile when you can get some time alone from your wife is not an addiction, if he was like hardcore doing it everyday sure but it sounds like a man in a passionless relationship looking to feel something that isn't his wife cause she isn't attractive to him and that something they need to work on sure. but to call him an addict is just stupid cause we don't have true full context.
The porn question is clearly a failure of cross-sex mind reading on both sides. Men don't get how much it actually hurts women, and women don't understand just how intense male sex drive can be.
Excellent point
This is spot on
some women it hurts which if they have been in a relationship that long like 10 years then he would already know that. or they are just a bad couple in bad relationship and she is denying how bad the reality is cause this is year one shit.
I would NOT be able to be in a relationship with this woman if I were a dude with her being this controlling and espousing terms like "betrayal trauma"... I find it kind of snowflakey. I also find it too hyperbolic when compared to more actual tangible forms of betrayal like actual cheating... You guys were actually far kinder and softer in your dialogue about this than I would have thought, so I commend you. But yeah, if you have to be this controlling or you are being controlled so much that even sex scenes in movies are triggers I cannot see that kind of relationship lasting.
We live in a pornified world, where it’s so easy to access and basically considered acceptable, so I understand that most people won’t respect the “female typical”/Christian attitudes towards porn. However, if you think watching porn is harmful, it’s important to be in a relationship with someone who shares the same beliefs and values. It’s something that should be discussed before marriage and serious commitment. If I were to discover that my partner was watching porn, I wouldn’t consider it as serious as “cheating”, but I would feel somewhat betrayed if he had crossed a boundary that we had set in our marriage (and also done something that we both agree is morally wrong). As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more sympathetic to the stark sexual differences between men and women. I don’t wish to police men’s thoughts, but I do expect my husband to act honorably. I don’t necessarily think just because men’s higher sociosexuality is “natural” that it’s necessarily good for them to act on those urges without restraint. I have to restrain natural urges all the time. If I ate everything I wanted to, I would be overweight and unhealthy, and that would probably hurt my marriage too.
you dont understand porn or male sexual psychology. Porn isnt about you.
Drama is to women what porn is to men but no one attacks dramas. The problem is men's sexuality is demonized as a violation of women. Chances are even without corn which is honest in its overt sexual presentation he will become stimulated by some image or person somewhere along the way. Now he can come to you after that stimulation and you become something of a proxy or he can take care of himself either because you were not available or he just wanted a quick orgasm without all the work of a lovemaking session.
@@paulatreides4274 I don’t understand the drama comparison. Not sure what you mean by that. I’m only speaking from my perspective, which is a religious one - so it will be immediately dismissed by most. It’s not about men v. women, and women villlainizing male sexuality. It’s about a man and woman being on the same page in their faith, values, expectations, and commitment to each other. It’s about regarding marriage and intimacy as something sacred. That doesn’t mean we’ll always have perfectly pure thoughts or that we’ll never mess up or never fantasize about others, but it means we both agree to make certain sacrifices so that we’ll turn to each other for our needs and desires as much as possible. I don’t think most people like the idea of making sacrifices (even for something greater - like a marriage you hope will last for your lifetime), but beautiful things can come from it.
Quote from the Christian Bible.
Matthew 5:27-28 (ESV) - “You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery. ' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Quote from the islamic Quran.
The Quran 19:20:, chapter on Mary mother of Jesus (may peace be upon him).
She (Mary) said: "How can I have a son when no man has ever touched me? - for, never have I been unchaste!"
If it means this much to God, then it should to men AND WOMEN.
Peace
@@byyouthgonewild I was speaking in the context of greater society and people as a whole. By drama I meant the sex contained within dramas and romance/erotic literature as that is the primary sexual fantasy material for women. The novel Fifty Shades of Grey was celebrated and made into a mainstream film. I'm happy you take your commitments to your religion and marriage seriously. Best of luck to you.
I’ve been watching Zack’s work for the past 4 months and it has helped me enormously through my weight lifting progress and overall performance in my sport. I had no idea you guys were roomies and this just made so much sense 🤯 thanks for keeping it real guys! Hasta la vista 👊
I've been living in Japan for over a year now & it truly is an amazing place. It's clean, it's technologically advanced, & the people are fascinating. My favorite description that I heard from a friend, "It's nonchalantly spiritual while being overwhelmingly claustrophobic." I agree 100%. The discipline these people have is a sight to behold. But I have to say for Zack, I would urge you to visit the countryside of Japan whenever he visits again. It's breathtaking.
I would argue that porn is NOT cheating in the way that killing people in video games is not murder. If you have an addiction and it’s ruining your relationship, then it’s an addiction problem the same way that alcohol can be an addiction problem.
I would even add that using fantasy in a healthy way could probably help with being faithful. For example, if your backed up and and a real life woman comes on to you, and for whatever reason you have not been able to be intimate with your partner (one of you is away, or having health issues, etc) you’re going to have a much harder time reaisting than if you just regularly have your own methods of release. Same as how if you are extremely angry at someone to the point that you are having violent thoughts, hitting a punching back can help you let go of that energy.
You could add those things, but then as clearly you have no clue to the science behind porn and watching violence, I wouldn't.
@@juliettailor1616 we’re not arguing about the science behind porn and video games, we’re arguing about ethics, which is subjective. No amount of “science” will determine whether or not watching porn constitutes cheating. If you have a counter argument, provide one, but if you’re just going to obfuscate, don’t waste your time.
The intent for both activities are different no? One is lust while the other is 'gamified murder' which is kinda unreal. I dont think the average gamer craves the actual process and weight of murder whilst lust is a longing with real feelings
Sure both acivities can bring about real world tangible results but the desire to 'actual' murder from gaming pales in comparison to the desire to lust from porn
@@DanneoYT it really depends on how a person uses porn, yeah, if you’re getting emotionally attached to the person behind the screen and literally longing to be with them that would be problematic, but that is still not literally cheating, but it would be valid grounds for breakup if persistent and can be considered emotional cheating. Just like how if you actually want to murder people and you use violent video games to fuel that intent, that is very problematic. If you’re just using porn or fiction as a sensual stimuli for arousal though, that just doesn’t register as cheating to me, but it’s really ip to the individual couple. Cheating is about breaking trust and the implicit or explicit terms of the relationship, you can even literally have sex with other people and it not he cheating if you’re both okay with it ahead of time. “Cheating” like when you cheat on a test or game means you broke the rules. In a relationship the culture or subculture you operate in determines the rules of the relationship to an extent but it’s ultimately up to each individual couple to decide what those rules are.
@@bigheadrhino Good point, tho I guess this subject is definitely difficult to bring up with partner, I hope couples all the best with this tbh
When these numbers about porn and failed partnerships come up, I always want to know:
What was their frequency of intimacy, and was the drive imbalance.
Was intimacy used as a tool by one partner as a trade good/reward.
Did she pull back from intimacy when she found out?
Yeah in my marriage usually most of my porn use came from her simply not wanting to have sex. She did have depression she was dealing with so it was more understandable, but I always went to her first. Anyway she knew about it and it wasn't a problem for us. We had other issues but that wasn't one of them.
Lol WHO wants to be intimate with their porn watching partner. He already made it non special. Many women like sexual intimacy because its special and bonding..
I have sex with my husband every day. And I’m not shy. I’ve made him our own videos, gotten wigs, lingerie, dressed up, down, cars, parking lots, blowies in my office and yet he still has had such an outrageous porn issue it’s so unattractive. He’s getting better but. I’m an attractive and sexual woman. I hate feeling like porn is this stupid thing he can’t help or something. What outlet do I have? I’m sexual. Can I pursue attention from other men or am I just supposed to put up with sharing my husbands gaze and fantasies with thousands of other women. It’s gross.
@@Lincorn1this. I still have sex every day with my husband but when he was suuuuuuper obsessed with porn he repulsed me. It’s unattractive af
If thats what is happening with a partner best to chat about it. .one of the biggest mistakes in adult relationships with commitment is lack of communicating together BEFORE any long term coupling and decisions are made the sexual part of eachother/ drive /frequency/ attitude/ timing/ ability to explore / acceptable time out/
Open to Adventure and above all where to place the importance in the relationship
The sheer lack of sharing on this topic is alarming and can be the single issue to take a good relationship off the rails .
Love this format. You guys should do this monthly!
Fantasizing is not cheating, watching porn is not cheating, masturbating is not cheating, using sex toys is not cheating. Only cheating is cheating.
If you have reservations about the morality of these other things then no problems, but lets not confuse them with ACTUAL cheating.
Lets not redefine the word cheating to encompass other things that are not cheating.
Said the man...
100%. You don't care about their names or who they are it's just the act. Visual and audio ques. It's a tool.
Exactly.
Good to see the people’s coach getting back on here, love these roomie chats
Without having listened to this podcast yet, my initial thought on the headline is that a female equivalent statement would be something along the lines of... 'if you read romance novels, you're not being faithful.' I'm not really sure how I feel about either statement yet... Time to listen to the podcast.
"chick flicks" with shirtless attractive men would seem more analogous, but I too, have not yet listened to this podcast.
Same thought I had them "romance" novels can be vary raunchy
@@mrs.americanpie2079My thought was that men are more visually oriented than women... So in theory, men could get more emotionally invested in their favorite pornstars just based on looks. Similarly, I think it is common to see women's physical preferences change according to the subject whatever romantic thoughts they have had... 'I never liked bearded guys before...' or whatever.
Well I for one do not disagree about essentially all “romance” novels, aside from possibly a few classics from the past.
Last time I flew on a plane, a lady wearing crosses tried tot talk to me about religion for a bit. Then she got into reading a novel. I peeked over and out of 2 paragraphs, it was absolutely, 100%, explicit hardcore stuff. Practically the equivalent of a man watching porn on a plane with headphones on and a screen-polarizer.
Neither is cheating. If you're a woman and want your man/husband to watch less porn? Have more sex (with him).
Watching porn isn't cheating unless you're cheating your partner out of having sex with you because you are watching too much porn.
Exactly. In any romantic relationship you're going to have moments where one partner is in the mood and the other isn't, and there's nothing wrong with people taking care of themselves as needed until they either find or plan a time where they're both ready to get it on together. Putting all responsibility for your sexual satisfaction on the other person is too much of a burden.
I remember when our nine year old son showed me his dad’s porn video and asked me if I knew he watched this. One of the worst moments in my life.
Quote from the Christian Bible.
Matthew 5:27-28 (ESV) - “You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery. ' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Quote from the islamic Quran.
The Quran 19:20:, chapter on Mary mother of Jesus (may peace be upon him).
She (Mary) said: "How can I have a son when no man has ever touched me? - for, never have I been unchaste!"
If it means this much to God, then it should to men AND WOMEN.
Peace
Did you ever approach your husband and how did that turn out if you don’t mind me asking
@@ksubyslowed He assured me that “all men do this”. We had four small children and divorce would be just too difficult. I chose to live with it, though it tore me apart inside.
@@elainehiggins713 Has it occurred again since ?
@@ksubyslowed We are divorced. Kids are all grown. I assume he still does it. He never remarried.
I always considered it cheating. When im with one person, i like to give them ALL of my sexual energy. You'd be surprised how well you treat someone when they are the only thing responsible for your orgasms. Also, i know that when i don't feel like doing that anymore, the relationship is pretty much over, it's a good indicator for me.
Very well said. I love the singular attention point
If you’re in a monogamous relationship and you’re having to virtually watch other people have sex then something is missing in your relationship. It might mean that you’re not having sex enough or that you don’t find your partner physically attractive, therefore you’re needing that gap externally fulfilled. I don’t know if it’s cheating per se, but I don’t think it’s good for a healthy relationship as you’re needing porn to fulfill a need that’s lacking. Also, I just don’t think the never ending cheap unearned dopaminergic release is a good cycle to repeat for yourself in general. You should be attaching that system to something more meaningful, like the pursuit of goals.
I think you're reading into it too much -- I don't think males are that complicated. At least for me, the desire for relationships is driven by sex hormones and once I get those out of the way I come back to my senses and realize that there's nothing in it for me with relationships these days. Thus, for me, porn is a necessary 'rationality regulator' for me and without it I would be continuously blundering through relationships like a lot of women do. It's extremely ill-advised to trust your lizard brain to make the right decisions. "Trust your feelings" is why this country is in a giant mess to begin with. Once there's an actual reason for me to be in a relationship, rationally-speaking, then I will pursue one. Porn isn't making women less desirable to men, women are. If sex is the only motivator for modern men to be in relationships, then modern women aren’t bringing enough to the table to make the pros outweigh the cons.
Or maybe you're not having sex because you're watching porn
@@jacobmorenzoni1873 I honestly couldn’t care less. It’s free on the internet. If I’m going to hitch my entire life to someone else’s it’s going to be for a better reason than to have sex.
Or if you’re talking about people that are already in relationships, it’s entirely probable that it’s because the woman in the relationship isn’t offering.
Wow one man who gets it! Thank god there’s one of you.
Been 4 months now since I opened a tab. I'm done with that shit.
"If you look at a woman with lust, you have already committed adultery with her in your heart." - Matthew 5:28-29
Do you live in reality or a fairy tale?
@@bicboi1930 In reality where Jesus lives. You?
I was married to someone who hated porn and even me glancing at another woman in public, especially at the beach or pool. We aren't married anymore. Guys if you have a woman like that - LEAVE. It's deep-seated insecurity that you can't fix and isn't your fault.
Married now? In a relationship? Glancing at other women is one thing but sorry, a woman who hating porn is NOT deep-seated insecurity. It's hating something that portrays women as objects.
P.s. Yes I like sex and yes I am in a long standing partnership.
I bet she wasn’t willing to have sex more than twice a month too. That’s what makes it even worse 😂
@@juliettailor1616 yep, been in a long-term relationship for seven years now. It's not so much the porn aversion that I have a problem with, but if you can't bear the idea of your partner even looking at another woman (in real life or a movie) then there's definitely a problem.
I also think most women don't understand how men view/use porn: it's basically the equivalent to a female vibrator, men just need visual stimulation instead of physical. 10 seconds after I've finished watching, I've already forgotten what I saw. 🤣
@@juliettailor1616I assume romance novels are off-limits for you since you’re in a relationship. Or is it only the male fantasies (visual, variety) that are bad, and women’s (emotional, single partner upgrade) allowable?
Would you like it the other way around?
The section about "British Drinking Culture" is incredibly funny, but also so true. I moved from the UK to the West Coast of NA and the difference between drinking culture is pretty stark. "A moderate session in the UK is still going to be eight drinks" & "We treat it like a competetive sport" 😅
I'm in a sexless marriage. Needless to say I watch a lot.
Pathetic. Sad
Just get a divorce and be done with it.
Sounds like hell.
@@rubyblu21 You paying his alimony and child support for him ? Are you going to defend him in court from the false allegations women are encouraged to press by their lawyers ? Why don't we just gasp ask women to service their husbands. Oh the misogyny and horror.
🙄🙄 Yuck
At 15:50 ,when he is stumbling over his words talking about the man in women's power lifting, is a good example of whomever controls the language controls the discussion.
I’m a woman who watches porn when my partner isn’t around. It’s just an extreme explicit form of content to get you off quickly. It’s really not that intense of an issue to discuss. Sometimes forming a loving Romantic fantasy in your head just doesn’t do it for you when you’re in the mood for a quickie. It’s not that deep. Also, why do we assume it’s only men who watch porn in relationships? All of my girlfriends with partners do. We all have sexual impulses, and unfortunately live in a world of quick fixes that are difficult to resist.
That's what's known as being sad and pathetic
Yeah and honestly I have zero problems with my partner watching at all. The only time porn is a problem is when you are turning down your partner for sex and turning to porn instead. Honestly though that's not the majority of cases.
@@allisthemoist2244 says the incel ...
@@allisthemoist2244Dude you're the only loser present.
If your not satisfying your partners needs, don't be surprised when they seek out other means.
And what if you are giving them everything and they still want to fantasize about others. Why is this just normal? I want to worship my man by only thinking of him. I think it’s so hot. Why isn’t that the narrative?
@@hibaabdali3535 if you give them everytying and they want more. Leave. They arent good for you. They are greedy and selfish. Trying to change people is a recipe for disaster.
Sticking around to kick and scream till you have your way doesnt fix the problem. It just lets you vent instead of doing to tough thing which is setting up boundaries. And if they are crossed. You leave.
I wouldn't say it's cheating necessarily. But to me it's about respect for your partner. Out of respect for me, I expect my husband not to lust after other women, whether that's only in his mind or not. Yes, porn is a fantasy but they are real women and men having real sex on a screen.
He will feel lust anyway to someone else and you too.
You are expecting someone to control their own thoughts, which simply isn’t possible. Asking your partner to control their ACTIONS by not indulging in porn is one thing (which I don’t happen to agree with, incidentally), but expecting them never to experience sexual attraction to anyone else ever is simply ludicrous. It’s also vain as fuck.
@@jccuchvjvjyou people are pathetic and gross. How can someone be so weak that mental control isn't even something in their frame of mind.
It doesn't even occur to you that someone isn't a slave to their subconscious and that's really really sad
Ok why don't you try not thinking about eating sweets or carbohydrates of any kind for the rest of your life. If you do we'll punish you! Let me know how that goes!
@@Anotherguy1st wait holy shit. I thought it was just about sex. Do you actually not have control over your mind?
The question should be “what category he is into” and how does that effect his sex life with his partner
Being married to that woman who thinks masturbation and porn is a "betrayal" that left her deeply traumatized and then posts the whole thing on the internet sounds like an insufferable nightmare. Yikes.
You are where your mind is, as the mind doesn't differentiate between physical or imagined reality. If a person has taken a vow to be faithful to another and then fantasizes about breaking that vow with another person, in essence they have been unfaithful. The degree to which this is acceptable, or not, neess to be sorted out before those vows are taken. The betrayl issue is very real and incredibly hurtful. However, where there is love there is always the opportunity for forgiveness and the reinstatement of the vulnerability required in order to live from the heart. We are all human and we all fall short of our own best intentions on occasion. To hold someone's transgressions over them indefinitely is not love. 💜
I live in Korea and they have to close down schools and limit the number of teachers who can enter the system because of the lack of kids. Nuts.
Yeah you guys are fucked. I remember some stat that said another ~100 years and the population is going to drop below 50% that it is now. Basically you guys are dying out. My condolences, I like South Korea. Keep in mind every western nation is basically dying out, it's just that you are, like in many other things, the best at it.
If a woman is so damaged and insecure that she feels she has to control what her partner sees with his OWN eyes then that relationship is doomed. It’s infantile behaviour and in the same arena as the perpetually offended woke mob. She’s mothering him and censoring him as if he is her son. This is not a healthy dynamic for a partnership to grow. There is no universe where this emasculation is acceptable. I feel sorry for that bloke. I hope he wakes up soon and realises just what a monster he has been captured by.
Sounds like a very weak man. You should have the courage to bring up these conversations with your partner. Especially, ahead of marriage. I always do….. maybe that’s why I’m single 🤔
Yep
Riley Gaines was the swimmer who tied Liah Thomas for the National Championship. She's effectively the other side of the coin. Very well decorated collegiate swimmer.
I didn't know you two lived together, but coincidentally watch your content separately; it's all coming together now lol
On this question I think we ought to defer to the most morally insightful person in history, who said: "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
The dictionary definition of Lust is very strong sexual desire towards a person. Attraction is irrational, you can’t control how strongly attracted you are towards a person. That scripture doesn’t fall in line with reality.
@@Khan-rz8qiYes because this reality is different than spiritual world, no one is talking about if you’re able to control it, it just says that it is a sin.
I can think of far more morally insightful people than Jesus. Now go pluck your eyes.
Thought crimes huh?
So you're a cheater, OP. Or gay. Which is also a sin, according to The Good Book.
I love your friendship. God love and bless you both.🙏🧡👍
God Dellusion stuff crap
Quote from the Christian Bible.
Matthew 5:27-28 (ESV) - “You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery. ' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Quote from the islamic Quran.
The Quran 19:20:, chapter on Mary mother of Jesus (may peace be upon him).
She (Mary) said: "How can I have a son when no man has ever touched me? - for, never have I been unchaste!"
If it means this much to God, then it should to men AND WOMEN.
Peace
The girl in question sounds under developed, insecure or otherwise damaged. Men will look at other women and find them attractive. Women will do the same, I'm not naive, I know my wife wife will find men attractive and she understands that I will have drive towards other women. Its the action that makes the difference. And when there is a mismatch in sex drive, me being high and her low there is a 100% open understanding that I'm going to be supplementing. This keeps our marriage in tact and has made sure that I am able to bring new exciting ideas to the table when things start to feel routine
I really enjoy these bro episodes that you do with your flatmate zach. Please consider doing them in person next time- it would definitely add to the energy and the chemistry that you guys have, clearly you are bros!
With respect to the main question of the podcast, fascinating discussion, but I think only Chris truly grasps just how nuanced this issue is. Zach equates viewing pornography as the point at which fantasy becomes reality, whereas I would counter that going out and hiring a prostitute or sleeping with some random club bimbo, would be what constitutes unacceptable action. Based on the logic of the woman in the story, reading a romance novel should also be considered "cheating" or being unfaithful. Viewing pornography should really be considered equivalent to reading spicy romance novels. Remember, men are much more visual than women, and the brain is the largest sex organ in the body.
Thoughts can be the start of not putting energy , creativity and more fun into the relationship!!!!
There is a flip side that helps. Women dress attractively. Consciously it may not be to attract another mate but biologically it is. Dressing attractively increases the probability of an affair. Men seeking solo sexual release might also cause a weaker relationship and then an affair.
There is no tension free solution. There is only a seeking of balance in the tension.
Women dress attractively to compete with other women thus trying to prevent their partner from cheating or leaving them.
@@vanessac1965women only dress attractively when they're going somewhere where others will see them. At home they don't care how they look.
@@vanessac1965 I dress smartly rather than 'attractively'. I dress smartly because I have self respect and dress that way because I want to. I couldn't care less what other people think, women or men.
I don’t think it’s cheating as such. It can condition the mind to be attracted to voyeurism and over time lose attraction to your partner. Which in ways will harm the relationship as sex won’t be as arousal as sex.
Yeah. It's betrayal. Bad for both parties.
If the man is getting regular sex and still looks at porn, then he has a problem. If he isn't having regular sex and looks at porn, then the problem is with her.
Or maybe he isn't having sex because he is looking at porn. And is not satisfied because the porn.
31:04 omfg i really feel like there's a kind of person out there who just indulges in raw feelings and refuse to cope with shit
It’s just controlling bullshit
I am a woman who doesn't like when my partner gets off to porn alone. Yes, I am self conscious about my body. I think it's in a woman's biology to be constantly comparing herself to other women. It's how we compete.
I think Zack is correct in saying that it's all about communication. My partner and I tell each other our needs, and our relationship continues to grow and be strong. I don't want him watching porn, so he doesn't, and he's happy not to because he knows I'm happy to fulfill that need for him.
In a previous relationship, my boyfriend told me I was crazy for getting upset at him for watching porn because EVERYONE watches porn. The crazy thing was - I was in the mood for sex so much more than he was. He constantly denied me because he was getting his rocks off on his own and he was "tired" at the end of the day. And he wonders why I left him. 🤔
I'm kinda just tired of men making fun of women who get self conscious about porn.
Communication is key. Negotiate with your partner on how you can both get what you want in your relationship.
I'm not against erotic content btw. My partner and I look at hentai together. 🙂
What is the advantage of porn. Raising a family takes so much time!!! When men are longing for something else how can focus be on needs of partners?
Dude, Riley Gaines took 2nd to Thomas on the Olympic podium and became the voice of the injustice nature of trans in women’s’ sports!
It’s absolutely NOT cheating. There’s no emotional and physical connection for the vast majority. My GF even calls it a substitute when she’s not in the mood. Only a extremely small exception becomes addicted.
Yikes, substitute? That's the issue right there
i heard someone use the analogy: if you look at the menu at mc donalds(just an example can substitute it with any other restaurant) but dont order anything after a certain amount times of doing that regularly, eventually you will order something….
Laurel Hubbard deserves those medals, she worked her bollocks off
Some artists may discount their earlier work when they were more passionate and idealistic. Then they get big headed and arrogant later on, caring less or nothing for their past ideals or convictions.
Chris, you’re so cute what you think romance novels are. Would love to see the look on your face if you ever were to update your point of reference. Honestly, it would be so funny.
“Bird Scooter” what?!!! Lol😂
Whether or not it’s cheating is something that will be unique to each relationship. There is no hard yes or no on this. With each individual being different, the dynamic created in the couple will be incredibly nuanced. If the no porn rule was discussed early on, and was agreed upon by both parties, and one person breaks that agreement then clearly it is a bond broken. You are allowed to have the expectations and boundaries that you feel are important, and your partner is allowed to say no. However, sneaking around, breaking clearly established agreements of a sexual nature, it is absolutely cheating. If someone can’t respect that, then they are a dishonest and cowardly person who doesn’t deserve you. (For perspective, I am a woman who has been married for 10 years, has initiated the occasional threesome, and has a considerably liberal view on sexuality.)
Watching adult content daily is an issue even if your partner is ok with it. Erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, disturbed stimuli that will not be met by your partner, lack of pair bonding, etc., and these are only the effects of 1 person, the other person in the relationship will suffer as well. Alcoholics can be functioning members of society and hide their problems well, does that mean they aren't addicted? Discuss pornography, what is okay, and what is not okay. If both of you are too far off-field from each other, call it quits if you don't want to work together (like the lady in the video and her husband). Sex and Money are the top reasons people divorce.
He said reunited then followed it by it feels good, anyone else catch that, like the song
28:00 Lol I laughed a great bit in this small segment, Chris is mad funny.😂
Honestly, I actually support those body positivity people, because at the end of the day it only makes my athletic physique more impressive. Those people can fool themselves all they want, but they’re always going to be dissatisfied with themselves. I just hope they don’t they that anger out on those of us who physically take themselves seriously. At that point, I’ll be down to throw some hands.💯
Yup. Free society means equal rights, equal lefts.
Props to Chris for drawing the distinction between Andrew Tate and scammers like Billy McFarland, and Logan Paul. Lumping them all in together was sloppy thinking on Zack's part.
The solution is simple.... First, individual sports. Allow trans athletes to compete (without the ability to obtain a record). they need to match the weight category and have hormone lvls as it's determined normal for that gender. Follow for a couple of years. Yes, the trans athletes won't be able to obtain any records, but it is how it is, must be 'a test' first. Then, check, across those weight categories in individual sports whether trans athletes are significantly better, by proper calculations, some will be better, some won't, check the averages, etc and see the results. Based on those results you can make decisions on team sports.
It's like people don't know how science, research and experiments work....
Thoughts lead to actions. I would feel and have been betrayed by a porn-watching husband. I didn’t appreciate the secrets surrounding the internet use and don’t understand it’s necessity within the boundary of monogamy.
I agree. It's not only the fact that a husband is getting sexual gratification from other women/men (especially if the wife is willing and wanting to do whatever the husband desires and initiates herself too), but the behaviors that surround it (hiding, lying, acting disconnected, ED issues, coercion, no romance, lack of motivation, lack of effort, lack of empathy, and all the other issues that can come from porn use, etc).
It's one thing to use it while single (which I also don't think is healthy, given the research and ways it has damaged people in my life), but when married, your spouse is whom you covet and share sexual experiences with.... not porn stars.
@summersalix seriously great points. Most people just want to rationalize their porn use. And becuase most people use it, it is easy to justify as normal and ok
The Kenny Everett character (Marcel Wave) got a big laugh when he said that to spuce up his marriage he and his wife go out foir a romantic candlelight dinner once a week. "I go Wednesday and she goes Friday".
I think it depends, generally in a relationship you shouldnt have to because you're taking care of each others needs. Some couples enjoy watching it together occasionally. If you're already open about it, and we are both seperated from each other for a period of time, its acceptable. Now if needs are not being met, is when I can see some people using it - which could be a sign for a conversation. If they are just watching to watch, than that is odd.
Do I think it's cheating? Definitely not. Do I think in some relationships it can be a deal breaker? Absolutely. It all depends on the individuals.
It takes 29:00 to get to the question.
Thanks
Love the podcast, but I really need to know so badly about Zack's backdrop, is that Lothric Castle displayed from Dark Souls 3?
Could you share a link to the music of the singer-songwriter Pat that your housemate mentioned (living in Austin, originally from Ireland). Would love to check it out. Thank you in advance!
I feel like if that woman could be inside her husbands mind for a day she'd be divorced! You cant control thoughts which is essentially what shes trying to do by vetting any images or videos that might trigger an erotic thought in his mind.
Hell, going to the gym is almost like looking at erotica in real life. Women having on shorts and sports bras so tight you can tell what they ate for breakfast. Nothing is left to the imagination. It's a joke to be honest. And then they tell you, you can't think one dirty thought? Have you tried controlling your mind?? What is this clown shit?
There is a flip side that helps. Women dress attractively. Consciously it may not be to attract another mate but biologically it is. Dressing attractively increases the probability of an affair. Men seeking solo sexual release might also lead to a weaker relationship and then an affair. There is no tension free solution. There is only a seeking of balance in the tension.
I think that watching porn while in a relationship is cheating. However, fantasizing about your partner in a blonde wig is perfectly acceptable 😂
Dont stop watching porn for her. Stop watching porn for yourself.
People saying betrayal trauma is a silly reason to stol watching porn are missing the point. And risk justifying watching porn due to said silly reason.
There are plenty of reasons not to watch porn.
I think you’re really underestimating the damage of porn on men and women. You should interview Jason evert who has done a ton of research in this field
I am a Christian wife whose husband is not a believer. I know he sometimes watches porn because he has admitted that he struggles with it. I used to watch it a lot too before I met Jesus. We didn’t think it was a big deal then. According to the Bible “If you look at a woman to lust after her, you have committed adultery in your heart”. So by Jesus’s standards my husband is technically cheating but I don’t think that me criticizing him or making him feel bad about something that he is truly struggling with is going to help anything. I pray for my husband every day. God will change his heart when the time comes. Also outside of the mild porn use he is a wonderful husband. Everyone struggles with sin and he is no different. I made vows and I intend to keep them.
And now Ja Rule is about to play the saratoga county fair in '23. No kidding. I live nearby, it's on the radio all the time.
*Wanna Feel Old?* I've been watching Chris Williamson's interviews for about two years, probably around 50-60, but I never really looked into his background until now.
I thought he was around my age or maybe five to ten years younger.
Turns out he was 4 when I graduated from high school in 1992. Yeah, I'm probably not looking at myself closely enough in the mirror.
He looks older.
@@juliettailor1616 Thank you for your reply, Juliet. I sort of thought so as well. I was thinking Chris Williamson looked around 40-45. I was surprised that Wikipedia said he was born in 1992.
Then again, I also do editing on Wikipedia myself, so I'm wondering if the "1992" birth year (making him ca. 31) might be an error that needs editing?
People dont seem to understand that testosterone and Estrogen dont wait for puberty to start the chnages to the body. Even if its pre puberty there will still on average a higher muscle mass and bone density and estrogen doesnt undo that
Even asking this question is absurd. Men who honor Life, who honor Woman, would not spend one moment of their precious time on earth watching the degradation of Woman as sex object only for passing superficial sexual gratification-- which is what most porn is. He would not do it, whether he was involved with a long-term commitment or not. It would have nothing to do with "cheating on a woman." He would not watch it because he values himself, his consciousness and his life.
That dude is so bashing the bishop when his wife's not around. With a wife like that I don't blame him.
Interesting comment section, its mainly about men watching porn and how this may impact the women but I am curious how men feel if there wife/girlfriend is regularly watching alone hot guy porn with only the hottest and most well endowed men? Genuinely curious as to how it goes that way round?
Honestly? I don't care. I have and would watch it with her. If anything it shows me more about what she's into, maybe I need to hit the gym to look more like the men she likes besides me. It's funny how people make such a huge issue out of this 😂😂😂!
@@Anotherguy1st thanks for responding - What if she didn't want you to watch it with her on the whole, what if she just enjoyed locking herself in her room 2-3 nights a week with a few drinks and lots of porn? Is there a point where it gets uncomfortable for you?
@kazapeach9487 This is such a straw man argumenr. Most guys who use porn don't lock themselves away in a porn chamber with alcohol 2 to 3 nights a week and just avoid their partners and family. Quit making up fake scenarios for your argument
@@Kkrider84 this really is a real scenerio i know about..i know this isnt the norm for men who watch porn but neither is it unheard of... . Im guessing you would find this unacceptable in your girlfriend/wife then since you find it so outrageous that you think it couldnt possibly be true?
On the whole East Asian drinking culture thing, apparently its really tied into working culture. After closing time everyone in an office for example will go out to drink for team bonding but the lower position workers will try to get close to the higher ups for raises and promotions. Everyone knows that's what is going on but for some reason if you're sober and doing this they see you as manipulative and stuff so everyone gets shitfaced and hopes they can piece together a coherent sentence to convince their boss they deserve a raise. And since the bosses of today were interns and beginners not too long ago they've gone through the cycle and are too used to getting hammered to care if they should stop. A couple cycles of this happening to the whole population and everyone is drinking crazy amounts every time they go out. Found this out from a video I saw on TH-cam shorts a while ago not entirely sure how accurate it is but kinda fits what I've seen of Japanese society.
Haven't seen coworkers go out after work for a drink since the 80s. Maybe it's a small workplace thing.
I think i can help the DJs and preformers out there who are struggiling with the life style. I challenege them to a month labouring for me in the contruction game for the going rates in the pissing rain of Scotland or UK and i guarantee some appreciatation for the life style will be installed in them. Try the brutal traveling but add in the harsh condition, the shitty wages, the injuries you pick up, the dust you breathe in, and the ridiculous lack of freedom and youll love being a DJ for ever more. Ps love this podcast, living the dream mah boys 💪 hopefully i can save myself one day 🙏
This porn conversation just boils down to women not being able to separate sex from romantic feelings.
What is wrong with that??
@@artn2950 Sex isn't always about feelings for men. Sometimes it only pure physical pleasure. When a man watches porn for physical pleasure only, a woman might think her man doesn't love her anymore. That's a problem.
@@killermonjeromaybe that’s why there are so many fatherless children out there
@@bbyjirl I'm sorry, what's the probable cause of fatherless children?
@@killermonjero having sex with people you don’t give a shit about and therefore not wanting to stick around with them to raise your child
Is tel losing the light of his intuition? When one goes a period of time talking, more than listening and thinking, i have noticed ones intuition tends to fade a bit
you both live together.... why are u on a computer for this podcast
29:22
*Is porn considered cheating ?*
_Betrayal Trauma experienced by women for whom their man are looking at porn._
38:50
Is that a "woman view"?
I'm very much a dude, but that sounds like integrity/religousness for me.
I understand it may be harder for me. But as far as pure love goes, it's higher integrity.
But I do think that woman will all practically close their legs for 90% of dudes.
If you’re getting your sexual needs met through some other means that doesn’t involve your lover, it’s cheating.
A dilemma for you - would you rather be "cheated on" with p0rn or with another person?
Some other person for sure, but other means that doesn’t involve another person you have to admit is a more nuanced discussion.
It absolutely is being unfaithful.
A dilemma for you - would you rather be "cheated on" with p0rn or with another person?
I personally would choose the p0rn option even if it's done a1000 times, over another person 1 time.
@@6feetunderpantsIf u are in a relationship, this shouldn't even be a question! You choose your partner
@@summersalix I understand that you see both as problematic.
But please do answer.
A dilemma means that you can't pick "both" or "neither".
Which option would you choose?
Is not*. Fixed it for you
@@6feetunderpants I don’t get cheated on by either. Sad for you.
“Im tired, not tonight, maybe tomorrow… “
Fine. Man takes it upon himself to fix problem
Women complain more. 🤦🏻♂️
You should have on James O'Keef (or however you spell it) from old project veritas!!!
You could argue that him wanking to porn is her fault, because if he was meeting his sex drive he wouldn't be watching porn! So that imbalance caused him to watch porn not only that he is actually being a good partner because he is not off seeking sex with other people
Chris. Much love, but you really need to get more people on who don’t just repeat what you believe on the subject of porn and how it harms relationships because it’s a HUGE problem just listening to my friends and their relationship problems over the last 30 years 😢
About porn - that couple is on their way to catastrofy. I do watch porn, and my wife knows about it. She is not exsited, but she understands that there is times when she is not awailable and it is not every week. We can watch it together, she knows what I like, she knows that she is in that "range" of woman. We can talk about it, and thats a main thing. Talk. If you want thing or two - talk. Cosplay in bed - talk. Talking can make wonders. But in that case there is certanly a wery low self image on that womans mind and posibly more things under the rug. And I hate that twiter/tik-tok vloging thing. Its like "here I have a" problem" and I will vlog it and I will have views and people will pat me". Thats what makes me make "thats a fing bullshit" face
Pewdiepie just had a child in Japan, he is fighting for the future 😅
If you're looking for things ppl are REALLY irrational about, porn has to be top of the list. Otherwise we'd have MONUMENTS built for Reilly Reid, et al ... for the STDs prevented, unwanted pregnancies avoided, abortions avoided, sexual assaults avoided,... those reduction numbers are no doubt HUGE. How many times has porn sent otherwise sexually frustrated men out into the world with an unloaded gun? And all that is ignoring just the pleasure porn produces for consumers and the frustration reduced.
Ladies and gentlemen. We found another pathetic specimen.
One the "Is porn cheating" point, the female equivalency of a "no porn partner" would be "is she having extended fantasies?" So no more Dark Romance novels or Mills & Boon for her!
Really enjoy Chris's interviewing skills, hence why I listen to the pod, but man, it's tough listening to a couple of gigachad's discuss their successes, philosophies etc. Just can't relate lol
Stop watching other people's lives and start building yours. Your life is a best-selling novel, start writing it ✨️
The amount of offended ppl tells you something. If you want to be married for life think about how your every action affects your partner
If you have a problem with your partner watching porn you better be willing and able to put out whenever they want it. Otherwise porn keeps the higher libido partner sane.
God put left his mark on the Burning Man Event.
Japan is other-worldly 🎌
Am I the only one who is getting small glimpses, here and there, of this podcast becoming increasingly righteous in tone/spirit? Maybe even bordering on Christian-oriented? Some of Chris's recent guests kind of have that flavor. Not saying its entirely a bad thing, but some topics (like this one) make me kinda roll my eyes and want to tune out.
You're probably not the only one. But when you are openly exploring values and virtues in your conversations, it is almost inevitable that you will find yourself understanding and espousing traditional Christian values and virtues. We do live in western civ after all. Not the worst thing in the world. Jordan Peterson has been taking his viewers on that journey for sometime now. I believe there is a profound, if not divine reason for that. I mean, where is the woke culture taking us and how do you think that is going to work out in the end? We need to re-examine our values and traditions. We've tossed a lot of babies out with the bathwater.
@@philbarrett2756 This was a very profound/thoughtful comment itself. Thank you!
I don’t see how this logic (that I otherwise understand on a purely intellectual level) can sustainably work.
If the husband engage in self-pleasure, when she’s away and thinks of her instead of porn, is that still cheating ?
If he fantasises about her wearing something she never did or doing something new or in a new or imaginary place, is that surly cheating ?
I mean… it feels to me very very controlling not to allow one’s partner to self-pleasure themselves.
Am I being too liberal here ? 😂