What I Wish I had Known about Infertility | Rachel Moon | TEDxTinHauWomen
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.ย. 2024
- IVF is not a magic wand, and infertility is as much an emotional experience as a physical one. Rachel shares her own struggle with infertility and asks us to question the taboo surrounding infertility. Rachel is a performer and fitness consultant in the wellness arena. Leveraging a career producing and performing in theatrical shows worldwide, her work blends performance mindset with positive psychology. After successfully establishing herself professionally, Rachel was keen to move onto the next chapter of her personal life - motherhood. She lives by ‘Strength through Adversity’, and believes that it’s your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Whilst it’s super seeing more about infertility and fertility treatment, it’s never discussed about when it doesn’t work and you end up without a child. That needs speaking about more
Then its not meant to be.
Or how much the givt is making offf the ark
infertility is an awful burden to carry. I couldnt talk to my mother or any of my friends about it. I wish we could normalize this.
I agree about the education. All I knew was how NOT to get pregnant. Thank you for your bravery and vulnerability.
You are among luckiest to be able to afford IVF. Many women in America can’t afford this expensive procedure and they may only be able to do it once but not 5. I have a high AMH for my age but could not get a normal embryo.
Agree, the cost is mind boggling and i give gratitude everyday that i could do it. Amazingly some countries offer it for free to their citizens.
Very true. I did 1 round of Ivf. Several failed IUS a d several failed clomid and other help. Ended up not pregnant by any of those and naturally got pregnant with 3 losses. It was consuming my life and I said enough after the 3rd MC. I do have a bio son and stepchild. If I had to do it all over again I'd just adopt. More people should. Costs less than 2 cycles of IVF most the time. I regret my IVF journey and I don't regret much at all in life. I focus on my talents now in singing and singing lessons.
Time is a precious precious asset. Young people need to also learn not to think that they will always be able to start family.
This also goes for men. You want to be a father in your 30’s, Not your 60’s.
If you have children too old you Rob them from the joy of being an energetic, Robust, enthusiastic parents.
If you die when they are barely entering their 20’s they loose one of the best contributors in their lives…
rachel is my aunt:) im so proud of her, cant wait for my cousin to be born...!!!!
I have just watched this for a class I am about to teach. What did she end up having?
(Tishia Hill ) I hope everything turned out well for Rachel and baby and family thank you for being brave and vulnerable at the same time❤
This is from Tishia Hill
Thank you for sharing your story with the world! This is such an important topic and one many women have to experience alone! May this conversation open the doors to many more; may it be a gentle guide…an invitation for more empathy for those who are going through a similar experience❤️❤️❤️
Brilliant delivery Rachel, you are brilliant. Inspiration for those who may feel helpless.
It s true they minimize your pain
Congratulations Rachel; you are a trailblazer & an amazing woman 👏💃🏃♀️
Also ladies you have to consider the huge cost involved for ivf. If you want to have children better do it early at around 25 and 30 yrs.
Agree! The costs are mind blowing.
Huh? 30 is not early
Some people don’t meet their partner until later in life. I didn’t get married until my late 20s; I know some others who also didn’t get married until 30s. Most of my friends had their first child in their early to mid 30s and perfectly healthy and easy time conceiving. I’ve known people in their 20s with fertility struggles.
One of the best talk I have heard! Thank you!!!
Thank you
We started trying when I was 28 I have always been super healthy in my cycle has always been super regular. A year and a half of trying now
How one gets on a Ted Talk? I wish I could share my story about my
Infertility journey
Look into who hosts tedx talks in your area. I was asked to audition to one In Hong Kong where I was living.
@@m00n78 oooh thank you
2 years is nothing, I'm trying 7 years.
Sorry to hear that. I hope that you find success.
Dear Rachel how did you let go of the fact that the pregnancy wont be with your eggs? How did you accept it and went for this choice ?
Sorry just seeing this now. It took the whole pregnancy to be honest! Even when i made the choice I was still
Unsure but i knew i wanted to be a mum and also give my husband the opportunity to have his genetic children. As soon as they were born, I've had a second one now it has never crossed my mind about where the DNA came from. They are my body, my soul, my heart.
@@m00n78 thank you so much!!! so happy for you and that everything worked out. I just need to make my choice and as soon as I have done that, I wont look back either.
The sadness has only now began. The baby will want to know who he or she is, i.e who is the mother! That daggar stabs your soul some 15 to 25 yrs later.
Infertility is painful and thank you for sharing i am encouraged
7:02 yessss
Start as young as you can ladies!
My friend Viv often reminds me of downs it’s a tiny dig towards psychological aren’t you lucky, it’s terrible if you’re shadowed by people who offer empathy over something you hide, apparently.
I appreciate the advice
SO SO hard!!
5 years of trying and nothing except false pregnancies which can go full term and ur basically pregnant with everything but the baby. This coming month i wouldve had a child turning 2 but instead im stuck knowing that i cant never have my own kids. Ive always wanted to be a mom to my Own children but i can never have that and i waa hoping this would help but it made everything worse my husband always wanted to be a dad and i can never give that to him. And i try to talk about it with him but i dont know if he knows how much this hurts me and i dont know what to do.
Money, money money. I don't have thousands of dollars lying around to test every theory. What suggestions are there for blue collar workers that can't afford egg donors or ivf? Or bc we don't have the resources. We wouldn't be good parents?
I hear your pain. I hear your struggle. You are right. You need money to open these doors. If I had had longer I would have spoken on the financial burden it also brings. Sending my heartfelt wishes to you.
Hey girl. I hope you are doing well. I recently came across your comment about infertility problem you are going through. My prayers are with you. But I just wanted to know if you have done any treatment for it or are you still struggling with it??
Check out this blog called to make a mommy. Some of the intervention costs money but some are diet changes (eating clean) hope this helps. God bless.
6 cycles on avg
$20K per cycle
5:50 what a cope
Solution - 1) marry
2) marry early
3) have children early
We need to be honest about female fertility. Women are meant to have children when they are young. This infertility crisis has nothing to do with health. It’s all to do with liberalism and feminism gone wrong. We frown on young women having children, this couldn’t be more wrong or unhealthy.
Completely disagree! That’s not been my story.
You are a complete and utter moron and part of the problem. You need your head checked. I feel bad for any kids you have.
She was 41. That's very old to start.
It doesn't sound like you fully understand this topic. Plenty of women have been trying since their early 20s and still have biological barriers. Congenital uterine deformities, hormonal disorders, and male-factor infertility don't care about your age or politics; they're medical realities. If fertility issues are due to age, those women's journeys matter too, but you're grossly misinformed if you think infertility mainly affects older women who wanted to delay children.
You don t really know what are you saying. FAR from true!!! Women over 40 now days get pregnant ALL the time!!!
A pregnant woman talking about infertility. What about people who will never have kids
…did you watch the whole video? she had to use both ivf & an egg donor
Is it really a big deal if you can’t get pregnant? Why are women so…upset by infertility? I’m genuinely asking because I don’t understand, and I want to be empathetic but I don’t get it.
Which I guess begs the question: Why do women want to be pregnant in the first place?
I'll be honest with you, I never wanted to have children and choose to be child free. As a child, teen,even now. I also don't understand the "pain & horror" about infertility. Children are sweet, adorable, funny & a big commitment. Though, I would rather be a role model or teacher that they will remember forever instead of having any of my own.
I usually ignore topics of pregnancy & whatnot. Any person who chooses to be child free is immediately shunned & berated. That person has to explain themselves, meanwhile any one expecting is congratulated & that's that. Having children is such a forced topic, especially on women. Peopel believe that every woman on the planet earth desperately wants children. Yet people ignore the saying "Every child deserves loving parents, but not everyone deserves to have children". This is not to say that one does not simply deserves to have kids, rather to point out that some people do not realize the full responsibility of having a child that will become its own individual & are hooked on "baby fever". "I want a baby, I want a baby". Similar to how people go into relationships because they expect it to make them happy & solve their problems, & throw a tantrum when it doesn't.
@@togekissbliss Yes, exactly! But I know this is more than a mainstream media fad, there’s some illogical genuineness that’s yet to be explained as to why they’re passionate about childbirth that I don’t understand but want to.
I want to know the sincerity behind it. ’ll either get an answer and a debate starts, or I’ll have whoever I ask reconsider their recklessness about bringing life into this imperfect world and take it seriously with more thought.
@@KJetixsSuccessorWell, like I said, reproduction is so forced by society, so it only makes sense for some women to feel "lesser" or "failing" as a wife when they struggle in that regard. Religion could aslo be a big factor here. Yet people ignore "Just because you can, does not mean you should".
However, I think it mostly has to do with the fact that society is so obsessed with blood in family & it disgusts me. For example, a sad couple will try ivf, & if they are able to get pregnant some other way, the woman will still complain that it did not grow from her womb. Or they will complain that adopting is not the same. No matter the options, they are obsessed with having their own flesh & blood disregarding options & have the nerve to cry " I never got to be a parent waa waa waa I'll never be a real mother/father".
You saw the word real rigth? It disgusts me seeing how society has "this family is only blood" theme. Not to say that it's present everywhere but it still is. People fail to realize & accept that people in a genuine family will love & care for you with all their hearts regardless of the circumstances. Step parents, siblings, cousins,etc. People are so blind to realize that eveyone on earth shares the same blood. We are human aren't we?
I also asked similar comments asking why women are so obsessed with being pregnant & have recieved 0 responses. Good luck with your search friend.
@@togekissbliss Thank you 🙏🏾. And to you as well. 👍🏾
At 41 ... wtf?!?
Shes not a regular person okay shes trying to make you feel ashamed the givt did the infertility to you she has si much money lady take way way somewhere else. 1-4 anericans infertile right now
❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I have a question. Why do women want to get pregnant? Pregnancy puts a lot of strain on a woman's body, and it has risks, and a pregnancy lasts 9 months. Also, childbirth is very painful. And also, raising children is very hard.
Personally, I think being childfree would be a lot better than having children, but that's just my opinion.
j3w
Being a Mom is a status, title + continuation of your bloodline is the most important thing in the world.
The risks are being calculated during the pregnancy thankfully to the modern medicine development, there are blood tests + ultrasounds to check baby's health. It is always an option to cancel unhealthy pregnanicy.
Giving birth is not painful : use the best doctor for epidural anesthesia + pass the course about breathing at contractions. Lol I was sleeping at 7-9 cm opening thankfully epidural anesthesia (just was lying with closed eyes and was in good mood)
Raising children is not hard : hire nanny + children are motivation to earn more
I respect all choices. Just remember that women have more healthy eggs at their younger age. Wish you good luck
@@anbate I heard that childless women are much happier than women with children are.
@@cks7548 not exactly 😁 after 44 there is almost no chance for first pregnancy if you did not freeze eggs 🥚 so after 44 u will be told about something women have no longer choice for
Children are blessing 🤩💫
@@cks7548 lol 😂