Is Having Children Worth It? | No Stupid Questions | Episode 98
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.พ. 2025
- With the average cost of raising a child hovering above six figures, childfree adults - and even parents - may wonder if having kids is really “worth it.” Weighing homeownership and college costs against the emotional returns of parenthood can make for a complex calculus, which only raises more questions: Why have fertility rates dropped so dramatically? Do fathers or mothers get more happiness from parenting? And how does birth order affect a child’s future? At the end of the day, is having children really worth it?
Hosts Stephen J. Dubner and Angela Duckworth address these questions and more in this episode of No Stupid Questions from Freakonomics Radio Network.
This episode was originally published May 8, 2022.
For a full transcript, resources, and more, visit: freak.ws/3TmxKXn
Angela Duckworth photo credit: Peaberry Photography
Stephen Dubner photo credit: Troy Tuttle
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I love money and silence too much to have children
Same 😂
I like a super clean home too much too
I love not being in debt. I love spending a few hours a week with my nieces & nephews. I would of had 2 kids, had I found financial stablity to pay for an old car and modest home. I have only been able to afford the old car.
I have been an honest & dependable low wage earner for 25 years. My reward has been high deductible health insurance and keyboard carpal tunnel in my wrists.
I'm a hero! I saved the lives of the children I never had, thanks to me they will never suffer and die.
You are a true hero.
They will also never experience life itself and joy and happiness. Isn't that sad too? In fact it just reflects of your view of the world being super negative. Which is kinda sad but understandable that you don't want kids then.
@@karinavoggel5741 go change a diaper
Amen!!
@@karinavoggel5741 If a couple stops at 3 kids then the possible 4th kid that was denied existence will never experience the joy of life. However a non-existent person can't experience sadness themselves, it's only us that can feel sad on their behalf. I just don't want to impose my wants on those who don't exist and who may regret it if they did.
I am being the perfect father to my non-existent children by not bringing them into existence and having them suffer the burdens this world has to offer.
That’s your choice, but it’s a nonsensical statement.
@@sspbrazil It's not nonsense, it is actually true.
@@chadguindon6909 it’s true for you, but doesn’t make it true for everyone, so it’s nonsensical because it’s not a universal truth.
I know exactly how you feel; that's my attitude as well.
@@sspbrazil It isn't nonsense. There are *no* altruistic reasons to have children, especially these days.
Women who choose not to have a child must be awarded- Sadguru
Lots of respect to all the women who choose not to have a child, it is the highest form of devotion to the world.
Live life on your own terms, travel the world and enjoy life.
Why bring another soul into this world, where we are constantly battling for so many things.
Sadhguru said facts of life which one should adopt to be happy.
Amen, AuthorBooksReader!
All of the pain and sadness in life can be avoided by simply not being born.
dude
Sounds extreme, but your right.
My kids say all the work and worry in life and you die any way. So whats the point ? I often ask myself the same question.
With no joy there is no pain.
You're absolutely right. The real tragedy is how few people understand this, and their children suffer for it.
8 billion ppl on the planet. I don't need to add another one.
My seven grandchildren thank you for leaving more resources for them to enjoy.
@@jewelthompson4210 Been there done that and many other things necessary to care for and raise a family.
@@jb-xc4ohreality doesn't work like that, people are not aware of the real fundamental issues worldwide, namely peak oil and peak credit...and I hear none of that from any such videos or talks about population, kinda impressive so many professors and smart people don't grasp that...
So I believe in the near future people that have many kids will suffer the most the consequences of their choices,especially raising kids detached from the land and in relying from government or the oil age
have fun being alone and not having a reason to live 🤣
@@thesquad2253 that's sad you don't have a reason to live apart from having a partner
Don’t have kids. Seriously the mental and emotional toll it takes isn’t worth it. I wish parents were more honest about this.
100% true
@nunyabaznus7851 You are welcome to come and try not to be miserable mothering my child!
I agree. I was married 10 years, when I had one at 37
It is usually hard for parents that don't have much time with their children, they are raisen by school and they grow terribly.
My mother had me, so
I'm 70 and had three kids. I gave all of myself to them. I WOULD NOT DO it again. Some people have great kids. But they won the "good kid lottery." I advise against it. Unless you are in a well-grounded mature relationship and can afford children, DON'T do it.
It truly takes a village to raise a child.
Back in the '70s when abortion was legal and you weren't legally required to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term, the crime rate went down 19 years later. All the unwanted kids weren't born.
It's a personal choice. The religious nut cases who are trying to score points in the afterlife, need to help the kids that are here NOW!!
There's no excuse for an unwanted pregnancy. Use birth control!!!
I used to tell my sons, "Would you want to be born to a teenager? Someone who can't afford to live without their parents' money? You see how difficult your life is now and your parents are college graduates, and it still it is hard."'
And here's something else to take into consideration: Even if your kid is a great kid, another kid can influence them. And suddenly, the parents are the enemy and you, the parent, are persona non grata.
Don't save money for their education, save it for bail and court costs.
(Reality makes you cynical sometimes.)
It's true though. I know so many people who were there for their kids and they turned out to be terrible adults. The parents have to bail them out in so many different ways, then have the grandkids dumped on them constantly. Then, the grandkids expect to be bailed out by the grandparents. The cycle never ends. Who wants a life like that?
Your points are all valid. I have an issue with the religious nuts too. Extreme religious practices that involve having very large families is crazy to me.
@peggyporter2135
I might have a few errors in memory about the unimportant stuff, but not the meat of the issue, so... In the 1970s or '80s, _Redbook,_ a magazine for women, did a survey asking if their readers would have children if they could go back and do it all over again. I can't remember the exact percentage, but most said they would not. They said they loved their kids, and wouldn't give them up, but would not have had children if they could go back in time and change things.
Good that you told your sons, would you want to be born to a teenager? It’s good to make your sons think also about behavior not just daughters.
Yeah that’s why today people are waiting until they are late 20’s or 30+ to have kids.
Just because you got someone pregnant as a teenager and were unhappy with the outcome doesn’t mean other people share your attitudes
I hate it when people say you have to have a baby just because you're a woman.
Well we have finally learned that we don't and it's truly so cool to see, I love how women are shifting the culture🥰
@@Gingy2002❤❤❤❤ we don't have to!!! We choose ourselves ❤🎉
i told my Gf to think real hard because society brainwashed her into thinking she has to! she almost cried from realization that the pressure is lifted
Exactly and men can leave and you become a single mother
😅
As a young kid I didn't like baby dolls. By 15 I realized I was disgusted by the whole idea of having a baby or raising it. People always told me 'you'll change your mind' and 'you'll love it when it YOUR kid'. Well y'all - I'm 46 now and couldn't be more happy that I never had a kid - it's by far one of the best decisions of my life. It's given me a happier more peaceful life, the ability to pursue music and my own business and have pets that I love dearly. There's always people (including my sister) who have children for you to hang out with and connect with, and still be able to live on your own and sleep peacefully each night. To each their own - but I see way to many people having kids they never really wanted or were prepared for in any way - simply because of external pressures (parents, society, etc).
Same. I never liked baby dolls. My babies were stuffed animals and now I have two dogs and a cat.
In my case - No. it’s a dice roll.
There are two types of grown children:
Those who call and you say how nice!
Those who call and you say how much?
😂
Don’t you think as a parent you have some impact over how your own kids turn out?
I used to think ppl don’t want kids bc they’re selfish.Not anymore… raising kids is not easy and you rarely get back any rewards. You sacrifice your only life for someone else.
Just get a dog and a cat and be happy.
I am experiencing this now. All my life is wasted on them and my husband. Lost. Hurt. Cut off.
People who don't want kids aren't selfish. Far from it. Bringing children into the world is perhaps the worst thing you can do because you consciously know that the world will have its way with them. Our children will be forced to attend school where they will be indoctrinated and taught to be obedient and dumb. Despite our country's advancement in modern medicine, kids are vulnerable to millions of diseases and are treated by health insurance companies like miniature ATMs ripe for their exploitation. After graduating with a diploma and no applicable skills, our children will then be held at gunpoint by the IRS and will waste decades of their lives going to work, paying taxes and being pimped out like slaves from here to eternity.
It's weird how you went straight to "they're selfish" and ignored literally ALL of the facts. Actuarial data estimates it to cost between $250,000-$300,000 *per child* to raise a kid to the age of 18. That does *not include college* or forecast for the inevitable economic support they will need into adulthood because capitalism means nobody lives fully on their own at 18. Even if one accepts these realities, the best of planning still cannot predict whether your intent to create ONE child will result in multiples- even larger multiples than twins. So one's quest to give their daughter a little brother could suddenly mean going from a family of three to a family of seven. It also *does not include chronic health conditions, disabilities, or catastrophic injuries and illnesses.* For people that have children with severe mental and physical conditions like autism, Down's Syndrome, lung and heart defects, etc. this cost-per-child can be in the millions. Most of these things aren't even known until a woman is in her third trimester, which is when legal options to terminate are mostly nonexistent. Goodbye to saving for retirement- or ever having a life of your own again, EVER. In the United States, a country without a healthcare system, reproductive rights, paid maternity leave and childcare, or any form of social safety net, having children seems absolutely insane to me. That doesn't even account for the impending climate catastrophe, increasing potential for nuclear war, and the inevitable collapse of the U.S. dollar. -But sure, people are "selfish" for not having children.
😂
@@LanaW123😢
Don't have kids if you can avoid it, folks. The world has too many people, and is being destroyed. Kids will result in 22 years of incredible stress and the destruction of your lives.
yes and too many umans are into drus and krime
After looking after my sister's two toddlers as a teenager, l choose not to have kids at age 17. I'm 46 now. I can't afford it anyway. I can't even look after myself, let alone a couple of kids. And l hate seeing doctors anyway, l have seen a doctor in 10 years, l haven't had a vaccine since I was a child in the 80s. I've never had the flu shot or the Covid vaccine. I like living here in the country far away from people. Far away from the city.
Sounds kinda awesome 👍
🕺
You sound so interesting 😊 love your life ❤❤❤❤
Have children, don’t have children, it’s a personal choice and all the comments berating others choices seems silly.
I don't hear any "berating." If you're hearing berating you with don't know the meaning of the word, or you are hearing what you want to hear, rather than what's being said.
@@elizabethk3238 you obviously haven’t read all the comments.
Thank you 😊🙏🏻
No. I dedicated all my life to them. Now i am 50 . I don't belong to them nor to my husband.
I know what you mean. I’m worn out.
I passed on parenthood-no desire, lack of talent. Too many people have children, then discover that.
Hear hear
The reason that fathers were happier than mothers is that single Moms find it harder to find love than single fathers do.
fathers doesnt have to deal with all the health decline too no wonder they are " happy " for wanting something what they dont need to do xDD
Kids are only cute for like the first 3 years of their lives. Then you'll have 15 years of obligatory hell. Also, you're forcing this existence on someone who didn't ask for it. That's not okay until people can figure out how to make life worth living for EVERY human.
You are correct. Once the cute stage wears off, parents then hire an au pair.
My sons are wonderful and frankly adorable. And they are adults in their early 30s.
All this doom and gloom in the comments!
No. Next question
Enjoy your money and peace.
@@lifeisabadjoke5750 I do!
💀🤣
There are soooo many reasons women are deciding to not have children, I've decided I just want to live my life happily, I don't need to bring a child into the world to do that, my older sister has 5 and I love them all, I spend time with them when I'm not working or out traveling and enjoying my youth, my freedom, I love my peaceful, quiet home that I come back to, no children screaming, fighting, running around needing to be fed, washed etc. It's truly blissful and with so much uncertainty in the world, I'd rather sit back in my garden with my fur baby (his name is Hulk, I love my dear boy🥰) Kids are great but they just don't fit into what I want for my life, I want to remain untethered and unbothered, I honestly don't see the point in marriage either, I've never been happy being with just one guy, I do enjoy the adult time😉 but I'm just one of those women who needs freedom to come and go as I please and even the thought of living with a man makes me uneasy, it truly seems like most of them are de-evolving and I want no part of that😂
I think a key part in your decision is your attitudes and experiences with men. It sounds jaded.
Coming from someone who has to get multiple health procedures a year due to a chronic illness I couldn’t manage children.
I also just don’t have the patience for children (save for my younger cousins) but I can’t stand especially bratty children.
Be well ❤
The answer to how many kids you want is to calculate first of how much money, time and energy can you spend on them. Usually 1 or even none is more than enough. Don't make your kids suffer because your V or D says it need 5 at least
Absolutely not worth it.
The answer is no. I don't have kids and don't want any, too much of work, stress and expenses. I'm good without them.
I knew as a young girl, I had no interest in kids. 59 today and no regrets. My mother didn’t want kids and was quite happy when told she couldn’t have them (medical issue). She was very unhappy about my arrival and it wasn’t a pleasant life for either of us.
So you think it you had been brought up in a loving home you would have a different outlook? Maybe you could have with your own child what you didn't have with yours?
Mine either. People have children because someone else tell them to!
I . stayed celibate, and married at 27 and 31, and only daughter at 37. I never shacked! I would not do it again.
It is not. It’s easily the worse decision most ppl make in life.
Why?
That's the problem. They have them without thinking of all that's involved, including time and money.
Having children in this day and age, though I admit some people are up for the challenge (because they have good partners and a very good situation in life), may just lead to the kids being miserable in their adult years because of how much Western civilization is starting to fracture and how so many issues about safety and well-being are becoming worse to the point of unbearable levels. As a woman, I would want to have a partner who is just as involved as I am with the children, because I cannot for the life of me imagine not having a career. It isn't selfish, it's just that I don't trust anyone today to be a partner of mine.
Yep
This reminds me of so much, if not all, of the dichotomous hell that is the human experience. Life is seemingly forever the mindful experience of what one should or 'needs' to do, and the bodily experience of what one wants or feels we must have.
No!!! It’s not worth it! There is no way to predict if you will have normal kids, they will either be predators or prey! Or they may have emotional instability, they may be lazy, horrible adults! Choose wisely!
Exactly
No , they are not worth it .
I will be 65 years old on Monday. I decided as a teenage girl that I did not want kids. Life is difficult enough without having a child dependent on you and your every decision. Plus, there are too many people on this planet already. The natural world can’t take any more. Your genes aren’t that special and you are condemning your offspring to a horrible future.
Of course it's worth having children, silly!...FURRY CHILDREN, that is! I love my kitty and doggy children! 😁😁😁😁
Children are a waste of time and money..Oney ildchay..
Not worth it too many people let’s care if the ones are have already first
exactly! Fostering kids is something most people who claim to love children often overlook
The answer is NO DO NOT HAVE KIDS.
I knew I didn't want kids when I was still a kid, and I have never regretted my decision not to have kids, I am now 56 years old. I made the decision when I was still a child while begging my mother to leave "my father" and her excuse was that she couldn't leave him bc she add 4 kids to take care of & a 7th grade education. Is a very very Poor decision to have 4 kids, or even one kid, if all you have a seventh grade education.
And that lack of education is probably why she got there to begin with
Nowhere is confirmation bias more at play than with this debate.
Yes 😂
Same 🤣🤣
76 year-old mother/grandmother here. NO it is not worth having children. More (or at least equal amounts) of pain as pleasure. I have okay relationships with my daughters, and awesome relationships with my 3 grandchildren (ranging in ages 23 to 9).
You tell people it's not worth it, yet you are benefiting from your children in old age now by spending time with your grandchildren instead of being an old cat lady. So how's it not worth it?
Oh no, not worth the risk becoming a single mother stuck in powerty. 😅😅 freedom feels better. Not worth it to buy an entire pig for some sausage either 😅😅😅😅
I think women have children because of religions
Yes, 8 billion is enough !
10 billion by 2050. It's not necessary to reproduce.
Have one after 35 ladies, never shack, and marriage does not work. Your offsprings can eliminate you, and you can do the same.
Celibacy rocks. they will kill you for life insurance.
Please explain
But it is harder to conceive for woman and 35 than a woman in her 20s. A woman would need to freeze eggs.
No it’s not. If a woman has never had fertility issues she will find getting pregnant at 35 just as easy as if she was in her twenties. Fertility issues don’t just magically appear in your thirties. They were always there but were unknown if you were not trying to conceive in your younger years.
@@whitneyanders5945woooooo 🎉 I like having the option ☺️
Omg, this is bleak and funny at the same time. What in the lifetime movie channel😂
Im 25 and im beginning to grapple with the question of whether or not i even want kids. Growing up ive always pictured myself with children, but as i got older i started to wonder if that desire was just born out of social conditioning.
I also wonder if i would even make a good mother. Can i promise a child a healthy happy and loving home? Can i promise to provide them with opportunities? Can i promise to not treat them the way i was treated. As i am now, i wouldnt make a good mother. I would love any child i conceive, but like my parents, i will fumble the ball. Plus theyre very expensive, im wondering if i could even provide for myself let alone a tiny human.
So i decided to make myself a list. If i manage to reach emotional, mental, and financial stability, as well as a stable and loving marriage then i will greatly consider having kids. If i dont reach all four of those then i wont have any kids.
@missionlights9187 thank you for your advice. I'm still open to the possibility of having at least one child but only after I've gone to therapy: overcome or learned to cope with my childhood trauma, my anxiety, and my depression. I want to also be financially well off, with a joined income of at least $300,000, and be in a stable and healthy marriage. Once I have all my ducks in a row I'll reassess the baby question.
I feel like once I reach those milestones I'll be able to better access what is right for my life. Perhaps having no kids would be better for my life, being the fun, cool, and boojie auntie does sound very appealing. But maybe being a mother would be the better path for me. I won't know until I take the necessary steps to get better.
Never could see the appeal.
100% with you. But remember, life is unpredictable and everything is constantly changing. So your list. Today you might check off all of the boxes. Tomorrow an unhappy event could ruin everything.
Having children is taking a risk and a lifelong commitment.
I am child free by choice and very happy with my choice. I’m free. I’m anxiety free. I’m responsibility free.
58 woman kid free lovin life, busy, do volunteerin, mortae paid off
I'm a 31-year-old Belarusian woman. That's exactly how I feel on this point. And I'm happy to announce that those goals you've mentioned we've just managed to meet with my husband. Still working on my own emotional stability thought, being calm and loving during my pms is still a hard work for me 😄😁
I see no point in carrying on. Isn't it better when there are robots than people
Too many people.
Not correct. Birth rates are plummeting in most parts of the world. China, Russia, south Korea, Japan, Spain, Italy, Germany are all in fatal decline in birth rate. Those countries in 15 yrs will loose a vast majority of their population. The US will go through a big demographic shift soon. The youngest baby boomer is 62, so a good majority of that generation will be gone in 15 yrs. So we as a society need to have more children.
@@Nothing0873 Thanks for sharing that.
@@Nothing0873Thank God the birthrates are in decline.
If I had lived in France where families and specifically women are supported, I probably would have had 3. Free birth, almost free and flexible day care, 80 per cent of your salary garanteed for 2 years while you care for tour baby and your job back after 2 years. Those are just a few incentives that France offers. My sister, cousins and friends have benefitted from those. I stayed here for Love. Was that reasonable?
In France? You mean Germany I am sure. In france maternity leave is barely 3 months.
@@karinavoggel5741Do you live in France? CLEARLY this person has family there. Shut up.
@missionlights9187 I actually did very well financially and professionally for myself. Si yes, I have a fortune for my one child. In France, I could have had a career and several children without jeopardizing my career.
@karinavoggel5741 No, I mean France. Quebec does it too. And Germany as well.
@karinavoggel5741 In France, it is 2 years maternity leave paid at 80 per cent of your salary+ obligation for your boss to take you back. If you want to go back sooner, you can. The state nanny system close to your home or work and subsidized by the government is very convenient , plus free healthcare.
I'm 36 and although I wouldn't mind getting married and having 1 or 2, I'm happy to be kid free and single. Kids can be a huge hit to your financial and emotional stability.
You don’t know if you’ve never experienced it.
@@sspbrazil I witness it ....
@@LAHA759 that’s not the same thing.
@sspbrazil HI. You don't have to experience something personally to understand the impact. Control yourself. You are not a force field with the authority to cut down another person's point of view in order to impose your opinions on them. In fact, she is 1000% correct. I personally got married at 36.. pregnant at 39.. had baby at 40. That was two years ago. Yes, it is wise and prudent to choose your life choices and subsequent partner- carefully. Motherhood, while beautiful, amazing, and all that jazz...is Hard work. No days off and it has lifelong consequences. And yes, it does take a Huge toll, in every way. For some, it is worth it. For others, Not so. Whatever she decides, one thing is for sure, the good attitude displayed by the original poster shows that she has the determination to be happy with herself first 👏🏾. She is to be commended. You, should be ashamed. Stop trying to bully others, and humble yourself. Take care 🙂
@@Morphedintoiat43 having gone through the personal experience of something is very different than witnessing it as a spectator, if you can’t understand that then I’m not really sure what to say.
It is hard on the US.. Many friends in thror 30s cannot save 9000 dollars for the birth cost. And pay outrageous daycare cost so the Mom ssacrifies her career.
The majority of births, like deaths of the elderly, are paid for by the taxpayers.
Why breed ?
@billg9502 Similarv question to : Why breath if you are going to die in the end? Well, for the humanity of it, creating a family is a need to share with a kin or kins, create a person born out of love. Problem is women are heavily penalized for it in many parts of the world.
In a word: No
Hell no.
Actuarial data estimates it to cost between $250,000-$300,000 *per child* to raise a kid to the age of 18. That does *not include college* or forecast for the inevitable economic support they will need into adulthood because capitalism means nobody lives fully on their own at 18. Even if one accepts these realities, the best of planning still cannot predict whether your intent to create ONE child will result in multiples- even larger multiples than twins. So one's quest to give their daughter a little brother could suddenly mean going from a family of three to a family of seven. It also *does not include chronic health conditions, disabilities, or catastrophic injuries and illnesses.* For people that have children with severe mental and physical conditions like autism, Down's Syndrome, lung and heart defects, etc. this cost-per-child can be in the millions. Most of these things aren't even known until a woman is in her third trimester, which is when legal options to terminate are mostly nonexistent. Goodbye to saving for retirement- or ever having a life of your own again, EVER. In the United States, a country without a healthcare system, reproductive rights, paid maternity leave and childcare, or any form of social safety net, having children seems absolutely insane to me. That doesn't even account for the impending climate catastrophe, increasing potential for nuclear war, and the inevitable collapse of the U.S. dollar.
Genetic deadend right here fellas
@@caseybanana8114
People are the only animals that don't understand purpose of their existence.
Well said friend.
all of you are fucking insane
Not a people friendly nation, definitely not ideal for families.
Simply....No.
Your welcome.
I think instead of asking "is having children worth it",we should ask "how to make our world a child friendly world" or how to make our world where raising children wouldn't be a loss loss situation. Children are not evils. 😢😢
Socialism, not exploitative capitalism
Not state capitalism either. True democracy in OUR economy, not the 1%'s
@@joshuagharis9017 yeah sad tho
many kids are bad bullies and many murder parents and otr kids @missionlights9187
oldest of five siblings. had to care for them in my parents' stead while they're working till night. that's it for me. if having kids is what i have experienced back then, and even now, i dont want it. it's grim. having kids, especially when they're not up to their potential, cant pick up themselves and wasting money feels mid to me. i dont see my parents looking happy in their 50s now. still a headache despite the kids being over 20s.
Once people have a child, they tend to be unhappy with their life, but happy with their choice. Being a community member, taking on a role in society, a part of a family, etc. But are they happier day to day? Not from what I see. Worth it? Depends on what you want. Do not expect that your kids will take care of you when old, that they will respect or revere you, or appreciate your sacrifice. None of that is certain.
women bodies change dramatically and some of the changes are permanent
No
If you want to complicate your life and not be appreciated and often be resented, have kids. I have two but I wanted none, luckily times changed in my 64 years of life.
No.
I love not -avin- kids, I love my freedom, money, time and not ontributin to my ids ommittin krimes. Not avin kids IS DA BEST UK
I didn't grow up with my sister, whom is 11 years older than me. I did grow up with my brother, whom is 10 years older than me. He was always either at work or in his bedroom, so I never saw him much growing up. He never played with me as a child. I have always felt like l'm the only child.
Not at all!
folks who do this first THANK YOU for taking the time to do this I need more podcasts in my life. Second a request - could you try to break the timestamps into pieces? Thank you much! Keep doing what u doing!
All the aninatalist sentiments in the comments 🥰
It’s very simple. IF you are rich, married a responsible person, then having children is a blessing and brings happiness joy and fulfillment. If you don’t hit those 2 points, sorry, your out of luck. Life is harder with children, happiness level will decrease, BUT, there is still fulfillment, maybe. So what does this mean? LUCK.
Fulfilment in what, suffering for life ?
@@ss0498people like you see living for the people they love as a burden. To others, it gives their life massive meaning. Not everyone thinks like you.
I wish this information was available 20-30 years ago
If you want healthy kids, stay away from the bioengineering and gmos and their corporations. Thus, always keep your lifestyles organic ✨️
Is art worth it? Is dressing it worth it?
If we measure everything be worth, then nothing has value, really
How do you define worth?
Pros vs cons. Benefits vs drawbacks.
Some people shouldn’t have kids. Some people really want a family. It isn’t rocket science. If you can afford one and want one go for it. If you cannot afford a child when it comes to your ability to love, spend time and raise and the obvious expenses that come with, then dont. You can always live and die alone with no lineage. It’s up to you
Why is lineage important.
@@terrydillon9323 that’s like asking why finding a partner is important. It’s important to me but not to you.
There are no altruistic reasons for anyone to have children, especially these days.
@@izrealtruefelicis3309And why finding a partner is important that too in the age of internet.
@@ss0498 yeah dude stay lonely that would be great for your mental health when you’re already dying and alone lmfao
No yeah, choosing and deciding "huh, I want to force another being into exist against their will (since being born is literally not your own decision) and do so knowing they will then literally die because we are not immortal here so why the fk am I forcing this actually quite fked up cycl......." is probably moreso a selfish thing to do than deciding "fk that maybe I'll just not predetermine ruining another being's life". People who would call you selfish for deciding to LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE, are... idk lol, not super great? :) You're not necessarily good or bad for whatever happens in your life, but deciding that quite literally emotionless decisions equate to if you are a good person or not, is genuinely one of the stupidest things you could try and do as a human. What I mean by this is: there are emotional (maybe ethical is a better word?) decisions that can demonstrate the character of a person (oddly-specific-but-tbh-it's-just-a-random-example: I am going to push someone down and laugh at them while they cry and tell them that they are selfish for crying). Then there are the non-ethical decisions: I'm going to choose to not do anything potentially harmful (or certainly harmful), to anyone, including myself or others. An example of that is choosing not to have kids lol. Idk what people aren't getting about that? That you are literally not doing anything emotionally or ethically dicey there? lol. They simply have a problem with the fact that you're your own person, you actually really need to focus on yourself in this life of yours??, and for whatever reasons you may have you're not going to raise children in a dystopian (and quite literally apocalyptic) world.
I see a lot of comments of people who whether or not have kids talk about the costs, and if it's "worth" it (like the title of the video I guess). But what's interesting! Is that almost none of these comments, particularly the ones of parents regretting on some level that they had kid(s), are regretting the decision FOR the actual child that they forced into life lol. It's mostly just "it's so exhausting for me, it was not worth, 2/10 wouldn't recommend". Just... idk, to THOSE people in particular: if you did read what I wrote above... have you... like, idk, ever realized that first concept I brought up in quotation marks? The fact that you birthing children is quite literally nonconsensual in every way?? For the child I mean lol. Or the fact that this being did not ask or beg you to bring them into an existence where they are going to have to LITERALLY DIE? Like, is nobody kinda idk.. freaking out about life right about now yet?? lol. People might see this and think "bruh u need to chill out man, its not that serious bro" but like no literally it is lol. Like that's what I'm saying- we are going to experience LIFE and then DEATH lmao. Like that's pretty much what this is all going to end up being about here on Earth yis?
So why, oh why, choose to go through with continuing this honestly traumatic and horrific cycle of bringing an innocent being into existence for it to die? The vast majority of animals on earth: like idk, mice, cats, dogs, idk giraffes, PLANTS, it doesn't matter.. The majority of them kind of do get an excuse because you know.. They don't have this complex society where they've dominated the world, obsessed over "studying" everything to the point where they are FULLY aware that they are doing a whole fked up cycle lol. Then there's humans, who definitely that describes us lol. Humans on earth, have 'speech' and a sort of 'awareness' where we ultimately have the most power over what exactly unfolds here on Earth. Regardless of how true this would be in the past, you could debate I guess. But honestly after surving enough to build up all these just OP things: speech, apposable thumbs, idk electronics and weapons that could destroy planets, the ability to fly even though we as humans dont have the wings to physically fly, pretty much bend laws of physics to our will lol etc... Idk, just saying. It's really really weird, that people aren't going on long-ass-tangents like I am at this point.
When I was born, I thought that I was the crazy one for being able to piece this all together since I was little (or at least have quite a headstart to it idk), but here we are and I've gained enough confidence to stop getting gaslit by this world into thinking that I'm the one with the problem here lol. No silly, WE ARE ALL HERE WITH THIS PROBLEM LOL. We literally all should probably be at least WONDERING wtf is happening and wtf is reality lol, yis? Idk, at the same time. If anyone read through all this, and somehow you never had this much thought or anxiety about life and whatnot...? Then I'm sorry lol. Honestly, I kinda would like the whole 'thy ignorant is what thouest doth make thee bliss of full' thing. But again, I was born. And it's not so much a theory on "if" we're literally going to go through mortality.. it's literally the outcome awaiting us. I'd rather not waste that time on getting in line and doing what all the other dumbass humans are deciding to forcefully do. It's thanks to a looong fked up history of those humans that led to me being here and going through an absolute hell of an upbringing.
On a positive note, I am pretty hopeful about what may come next. It's honestly not going to stop scaring me, as pain and fked up injuries are already terrifying enough, literal death itself makes me think it's got to feel like the most infinitude-version of every pain/torture I'm afraid of right? Obviously you could come up with a way to make living for a long time "more excruciating" but like, this isn't a competition ok? Like that's not the point lol. Anyway, Cheers YT world!
I could get all sorts of possible responses (or preferably no responses lol) from this brick of text. Despite the fact that people read books FOR FUN that are obviously way longer. But I should probably get to sleep, chill with my boyfriend and my cat, and y'know, keep living the dream! lol. Good luck y'all.
You, my dear have a beautiful way of thinking. Sending ❤ and peace
Very well defined what life is all about, l chill with my husband and my chhuahua and birds in beautiful Canary Islands, il you are born, at least be born and live in something that resembles paradise dont you think? And as it belongs to Spain (Europe), we got free health care, beach, open mi ded people, the Earth ride is easy this way , l woudn't be able to live in USA 😢
Ive had two and brought up 5. The answer is no.
I expect it's probably better to be a grandparent than a parent. But it is quite hard to achieve that.
I have only one and I'm done.
Nope!
Having a child is sacrificing the child. It's not about you at all.
And why should we sacrifice ourselves for someone else ?
@ss0498 So we can force it to pay rent and kick them out of course.
/s.
The size of car seats these days are absolutely enormous!
28:49 i am also the last born and it did feel like i was the only child. My sister is 5 1/2 years older than me and our relationship has always been strained. My brother is 10 years older than me. My parents constantly wonder why my siblings and i arent close. Im a little closer to my brother than my sister but i wouldnt call it a friendship.
Kids are for rich people....
But is it still beneficial?
I know a lot of people who have said that and they have all changed their minds. Many have adopted in their later years. Unfortunately, since you have no baseline to compare you will never experience the joys of having children. I feel sorry for people like you. What is it like to never have someone love you or love someone in ways that you can never imagine? I hope one day you realize this before it is too late. One friend realized it at 56 and she and her husband adopted. You love music, you will never experience teaching your love of music to your child. Experiencing someone else’s children is not even close!
Why would people not comprehend that males get more feels from what bare minimum is expected for them for less time, biologic, and lost earning hours investment than women? 0_o It's amazing, telling, awkward? how little the male presenter grasped that grim reality
children arent fun in infant stage but they are much more rewarding as they get older and more independent.
Imho NO.
5:00 my Natal North Node implies the 80s were a true challenge. Women were being asked to earn. Not caretake.
THanks! You actually encouraged me to have more kids! I was only thinking of having one but after seeing how so many people didn't want kids, I am inspired to have at least 4 or 5 to make up for these people!
Thanks, as an childfree person myself I wish you goodluck with that.
Amen... 😂
The cost of childcare outside the family is a huge factor.
The difference between happiness and satisfaction is part of the equation. There is also the risk of having a child that fails in life. While we want to believe that raising a well adjusted, productive child will be the outcome, the not insignificant percentage of children that break the relationship later in life, go to prison, die young ... Is part of the risk/reward part of the decision.
In my family, one branch has for several generations, avoided marriage befor they were established, over 30 years old, this is the path I took. Another branch married young and had children younf as well. This is the path my brother took.
My financial well-being and health is superior, but he is enjoying his grandchildren, my sons are still happily single, though not yet 30 or fully established in their careers.
I would just add to discuss this more than once with any potential long-term partners. Before I was married, I told my (now) ex-husband NOT to marry me if he might want kids, but a lot of people don't really think about it. They just assume they will, because it's been a cultural norm. Then parents make things worse with grandchild pressure. Families need to stay out of it. Your kids don't owe you grandchildren. It's their life.
Much better to have a fur baby.
Having kids is a long term relationship, with the father/mother and the kids. Its tougher dealing with grown up kids that aren't yours, because you can raise yours somewhat like you. I listened to the same music, we played the same games and watched TV. Where is the downside? Maybe if you can't give yourself to some else, you are no longer your number 1 priority. But you get a lifelong friend or two. My older 50 year old brother is more difficult and I am raising him.
They sound so incredibly indisputably impressively omg majestically educated
You are listening to economists, you don’t have to mock them for being who they are 😂😂😂
For speaking the truth ?
unfortunately now days children are privilege
DINK/Childfree lifestyle is a better privilege :)
Would you want a kid/s if you could bring them to work with you? There are parents that are allowed to do just that outside the USA. I was surprised myself.
No.
Where? Sounds interesting
Also, you can do this if you own your own business allmost anywhere, yes?
@@MLP8044 I live in Germany and the teachers here often bring their 2-3 year olds to work and have them around during class
No, my work is already hard enough to deal with kids there.
Make it affordable and I might possibly consider the idea of thinking about it
It is worth it, because it’s forward thinking, unfortunately too many people take it lightly.
Forward to what? Overpopulation?
BJ Fogg is a leader in habit research. Wood is spreading the refuted idea that repetition is the cause of habits. Emotions cause habits.
We will still need to be taken care of in our old age, including all of these folks who are not having children. We’d better not cut off immigration!
I can foresee all the responses to this, but I stand by my statement.
In addition to this, my adult children are still adorable and being their mother is wonderful.
The absolute worst thing is when it's your own mother calling you selfish for not wanting to make the mistake she made. 😅
That is not always the case around 13 minutes and 24 seconds in you guys are talking about how fathers get more enjoyment statistically off of some thing or other and mother’s should get more because they have a closer bond and all that, my mother did not have a closer bond with us. She was driven out of her mind..by the 7 of us kids that she had, but they we’re good after five kids, but then me and my sister were born anyway… and because they believe the kids are a blessing… i.e. didn’t believe in abortion.. they had us anyway my mother was in a super deep depression in my whole life, up until I left and seems happier now than ever I seen her when living with her… my dad was the best dad ever and I was always closer to him and he was a better parent than my mother ever could be, but he wasn’t home all the time he was off working, so he got a respite from us kids and didn’t have to do the bulk of the care so to speak not that she did much because once we were old enough as in like eight years old, we were taking care of ourselves because she was so depressed. She could barely pull herself out of bed to play video games.. and yes, there were video games in the 90s and early 2000s just not the ones we have today lol mostly computer games is what she played..
I don’t blame her for being overwhelmed and depressed, but I do wish they had made a different decision when they chose to not have any more kids they should not had any more kids. She treated me terribly and I’m pretty sure she held it against me that I was even born but to this day whenever I ask her why she treated me differently she never says she just starts crying and saying stuff of. Oh, I tried so hard , which is understandable. I’m sure she did but it looks like I shouldn’t have been born because I was just an extra stress and overwhelming extra kid that she didn’t need nor want.
I do believe abortion could’ve been a better option. Had I never been born I would have gone straight to heaven, and I would be none the wiser! that I’d never lived here on this earth. I know a lot of people argue that abortion is cruel, and that the kid never would’ve been born think about the life that they could have lived or the pain they could’ve avoided. .. I suffered a lot of abuse mentally and physically from my mom purely because she didn’t want me and couldn’t handle having me around. I irritated her with just my presence even when I was literally doing nothing. She would find something to pick on me about… like, your bangs are in your eyes. Let me cut them.. you’re fidgeting stop fidgeting. Your voice is too squeaky… you’re walking too heavily… you’re dirty you need to bathe you took too long in the tub or the shower. There’s other people in this household you’re not the only one, etc. etc. she was telling me this since I can remember along with a bunch of other more hateful things.
I’m just saying, I’ve been depressed my whole life and suicidal since six or seven years old … no kids should have to live through that if they’re unwanted, they should not be brought into this world!!! plain and simple.. that’s why I am not having any children and I just so happened to meet a husband of my dreams who doesn’t also want kids, which is perfect! 😍
But it doesn’t mean that my mental health is just going to bounce back.. as if I had not had a lifetime of mistreatment and abuse .. to this day my relationship with my mom is tentative at best.. and don’t say it’s because I didn’t try hard enough. I’ve tried my whole life. There is literally not a thing I can do to change how she feels about me….
It is arational, what a weird way to ask a question. The desire to have kids, if from a loving and mature place, is like life overflowing into another form. No one should be stigmatized, and there’s no right answer, isn’t this obvious? Parents need support, we all need belonging.