FAMILY LIFE Considerations for Special Operations and the Military
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ต.ค. 2024
- Let’s talk about Special Operations and Military Families with an emphasis on Operational Tempo, Training, Predictability, Lifestyle & Time, Fan Fare, Divorce Rates, Self Sufficiency, Trust & Worry, and Patriotism.
Being in Special Operations is definitely a unique lifestyle. For us elite type “A” personalities, there is no other place we would rather be. But for those who love us… our wives… there certainly are some unique challenges that are associated with being married to someone in the special operations community.
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Thanks for watching,
Christopher Littlestone
Life is a Special Operation
Are You Ready for It?
As a wife of a retired SF man - you nailed it; after about 10 years in being married, I quit trying to plan vacations; we were at the airport 1 hour away from boarding (keep in mind he had approve leave) and he gets an alert and we had to head back to the SF compound, I dropped him off and I went home 😊
I had a friend who was married to a Ranger during her first marriage. Character flaws are a big deal -- she's ADHD and he, of course, was the point farthest from that. An air force PJ told me, "never marry anyone crazier than you are." Great advice for everyone.
Definitely the biggest part to equation when deciding on careers.
I still think for ALL military members getting married that they and their spouse should be REQUIRED to attend a marriage in the military class BEFORE they get married. The class should include :
1. Deployment basics for the one at home
1. How to pay the bills when your spouse is deployed
2. How to contact the command for a true emergency
3. How to access the bank account
4 . Warning signs of PTSD when they get back.
2. Military marriage basics :
1. How to read a rank insignia
2. How to make a will (for both)
3. Warning of domestic abuse
And so on. At the end they both sign a document saying the completed the course (which can be verified) and THEN they can get married. Just my opinion after seeing ALOT of divorces in my time in
this is a very great idea
For what it's worth I've found my deployment much easier because my wife came from a culture that taught her traditional roles of men and women. I'm not saying any other marriage wouldn't work. Just saying for me and her this way worked. To be honest throughout our courtship she never came off as "traditional", that's part of what made me fall in love. But after our marriage she took on the role of managing the home with vigor. This was great because it allowed me to focus on mission and be available whenever needed. When i deployed i wasn't sure how she would handle the year alone. She was a champ through and through. So for me, after some reflection I realized that trait in a military wife is a plus.
Sounds like you scored big!
You're a very lucky man, cherish her
That's awesome man!! I couldn't imagine being with some feminist and being in the military or really being with one period.
@@heatheruntz5315 I’m not tryna be rude but there’s a big difference between a feminist and what the modern woman is Women can still be feminist and have traditional values as well
@@vince11harrisThe confusion you're having is that you two are using two different definitions of feminist.
You're talking about the first wave of feminist, which were about extending voting and property rights to women.
He's talking about the third wave of feminists, that are more about hating men with open contempt and bigotry, while pandering to themselves with a supremacy complex.
And I'm sorry to say that those last versions of feminists seem to be the ones in charge of the movement right now.
I fully acknowledge that there are decent traditional feminists with good morals, and that you yourself are likely one of them.
But please stop ignoring the existence of these toxic ones that need to be criticized.
The problem will never be fixed if people refuse to ever call it out.
If there was a mainstream hate group composed of men that were openly targeting women, you would not tolerate people ignoring it.
So please don't ignore a mainstream hate group composed of women, just because their targets are men.
Moral of the story: don't go into the military married, have your fun when you come back and have breaks, and settle when your service is finished because that's a better opportunity for you to be more involved. 👍
You’d be 45yrs old by then.
That’s not a realistic advise.
Better to start your life out with a woman that’s understanding from the get go.
Moral of the story: don't get married 👍
@@1anre facts
@@1anre ...Most people sign up out of high school...there's no such thing as an understanding "woman" in that age range. Young people need to figure their lives out and who they're becoming before committing to anyone at a young age. The divorce rate in the military is high and the divorce packets are already made.
@@1anre ...And your service does not have to be 20+ plus years and 45 is not old. You're just getting started at that age.
hey man i have a maybe what you would consider an unhortodox question, but would you ever consider talking about the use and abuse of anabolics and performance enhancing drugs in the special ops community? and how they impact the lifestyle and operativity of operators, who may be forced to use them to endure in though war times, thank you in advance and have a good one
Hmm, good question.
i play call of duty and I always juice up before an op. Everyone at the high level does it
I feel like a whole army cracked off adderal would be unstoppable lol
while not SOF, I spent most of my career in support of them, also a son SOF, I did 40 countries in 8.5 years, onething, you have to trust your wife with running everything while you are gone, and also while you are home, because you will get deployed again. When I came home, I always felt like my wife would give me a debrief.
My career was what it was but my woman at the time didn't want to move to Benning, I was getting mixed messages from her after graduation from Jump school and many months later I found out it was over after making though everything I wanted to attain, in her mind all the classes and training was me being "selfish" and not considerate of her and the needs she wanted. She knew my family was a military based one, my brother was in the Navy, and I was the oldest and, in the Army, we followed in the tradition of my grandad and great uncles, so I guess in a way I dodged a lot of misery that would have come my way based on the facts you have presented, and I never thought about it until you made this video. You're a great content creator for guys living that life and keep up the great work Brother
You can choose either an unmarried high-speed Special Operations military life or a married low-speed regular military life. A married high-speed Special Operations military life won't work for the majority of couples.
But what would make it work?
@@1anre A married high-speed Special Operations military life will work only if the wife is GUARANTEED to not lie, cheat, or steal on the Special Operations soldier when he is deployed on missions. Such a guarantee is rare.
@@motorbikeray Faithful women are plenty and abound in the world.
You just have to do your personal due diligence beforehand
@@1anre I agree with you.
I love these videos. Realistic wisdom that can be applied to situations that are not military and every day life. 73 year grandmother.
I really appreciate this video, coupling a relationship with the love of your life and the purpose you have found in your duty. Thank you for this channel, it has really helped me with career option availabilities while serving.
Hey man, just wanted to say, thanks for making these videos. I plan on becoming a green beret, and I've been thinking about whether I should get married while being in SOF. This helps me think about things...
Also too, in the civillian world, I have been running into real sof guys just by chance, and they're giving me advice as well. The best one so far was "You cant be a green beret when you go to selection. You need them to train you on how they want you to be trained." And to also run and ruck a lot... Wool socks are the way..
My husband just graduated the Q course when we met; granted it was probably easier for me adjusting to military life due to I was born military-my father was Navy Seabee 32 years, 3 wars veteran 2 tours Vietnam; not having a male present was normal for me. I learned to take care of things at an early age
Standard US divorce rates are ~40%. Guessing higher than that in conventional military. IME of eight yrs. in the SOF community I'd estimate ~75% divorce rate.
Slightly over 50% divorce rate with 80% of all divorces initiated by women. SOF community looks probably worse
Im gonna soon go spec ops.....and my Dad is former spec ops....this is very beautiful n well explained video....i just shared it to my fiancé.....May God bless to the vdo creator.....
Today's people are not fit for these kind of commitments. 2 years later and most people divorce. And that's the normal population imagine being in SpecOps or generally away from home for a long time.
Just make sure you tried and tested, did alot of recon on your potential lifelong mate.
Very true
Now you left out raising kids when you are SOF.....the absent dad...and moving bases
How do you train your son to be a man when you are married to the army life.
Thank you for saying how it is. You know what you are getting yourself into. This video went straight to the point but also helps you realize and select who you want to be with if military is an option and the realistic expectations.
Can you do a video on sf reserve soldiers? Is it very different to full time sf units? What are their deployments like and what are their selections like?
Same here. Wondering about lifestyle and op tempo for the national guard sof units
Now that we are out of Afghanistan, and only have a tiny contingent in Iraq, most reserve deployments will be few and far between. National Guard SF units will deploy occasionally to train and assist locals around the world, but the typical deployments of the last 20 years are a thing of the past for most reservists.
If you ask me I think we, as males we're here to form this world, because (not every male) we are the ones who are capable of doing that. DO NOT give up your goals, or dreams because of wife or children. whether it's SF or other thing in life.
probably best not to get married and have children then. women can shape the world too.
@@orangewarm1 nope
I've been in a relationship now for 3 years, I'm very privileged to say that she supports my dream of becoming SOF, she also wanted to join the military so she understands my passion and drive, she's studying to become a nurse due to a serious injury that stopped her getting in to the military. I almost gave up my dream for my ex, thank the lord I didn't. I sent my current partner this video just to be sure she knew what she was getting into, because as much as I've tried to explain it, this video is definitely the best way to do it.
@@orangewarm1 no
@@orangewarm1 first part, yes. Second part, no.
This is possibly one of ur most important videos
I've binge watch the TV show the unit. It's only TV but it does give you a little taste of what they go through as families
I trust my wife but that trust can also backfire. My perfect example is from a just financial point of view making full per-diem and pay and after deployment having ZERO is savings to show for it.
Thank you for this information. It is a bit to chew on but it helps me and I think it will also help my wife.
Whatd y'all decide on?
Loving the upload frequency lately
I'm grateful for your lessons. Please make a video on the qualities of an Officer and how one can achieve them. I want to be an outstanding leader in the military. God bless you and your family.
Getting married when I was with 2nd Recon, was the one and only mistake I made in the 8 years I was active. We constantly trained on the range with numerous weapons, and went to schools like jump, pathfinders, hrp, sere, pre scuba, breachers course etc. Always going to MOUT training. Always doing jumps, always training at other bases. 3 combat deployments to Iraq...all within the first 4 to 5 years. It's my fault mainly because I was so fucking busy in Recon, that I didn't have much of a life outside of Alpha Co. Outside of work I was running, at the gym, sleeping, or partying. I barely saw my ex wife because she worked fulltime as well, kinda knew she was fucking around behind my back, ended up she was being dicked down by a married SSgt who ran the PX in Lejeune. Because he happened to be around all the time and lived in base housing. But, my ex and I both kind of knew that we were satisfying the itch elsewhere. On deployment Recon had alot of Army Detachments like PsyOps and other military units from other countries that were attached to our Bn and there were many super cute horny females. And it just so happened that the PX in Camp Fallujah sold condoms. Plus the base was full of beautiful women from many countries like Germany, Philippines, US, etc who were all very attracted to guys in the military...So moral of the story, being married in the military is great for some, if you have that time and love and attention to put into it. But, if your in any unit that requires most of your time in a day, stay single its worth it. Plus you can slay any clam you want at pretty much anytime. There are an abundance of women out there that are into the fwb thing. It would have saved me alot of heartache, money, time, child support, etc and to be honest at the time, I mainly got married to get out of living in the barracks. But, hey it could work for some I'm sure, not saying thats how it is for everyone. Just my experience.
Great video like always
Most of the families that stay together are the families with faith in the household. If guys are committed to faith, they will have a strong bond between them and their spouse. The women that support their men throughout their military careers are also committed to their faith as well. That’s what I’ve seen during my time in the military. I grew up with my Native American traditional teachings so it wasn’t easy on my relationship as most women come from Christian families now.
I have to disagree on that one . I have been married for 19 years , the first 8 of those were when I wore the uniform. My wife is an atheist and a strong and self-sufficient woman. The latter attributes were more of an asset to her when I deployed more than a faith would have. She knew how to pay the bills , access our bank accounts online and had copies of my will, our marriage certificate and my life insurance ( I had additional policy) in a place she could access quickly if the need arises
Such an important aspect of one’s life when going SOF.
Great advice Sir
Most knew us as 2d Force Recon Company but we called it 2d Force Divorce Company.
New man or not,you will always be in my ❤
Always bear in mind Briffault's first law: Where the woman does not benefit, no relationship exists.
Perfect job for me I don’t really know my family.
Work-life balance for military families
More than half of active-duty and reserve forces have family responsibilities. Whether it’s your partner, kids, or older family members, most Warfighters have people who depend on them at home. As a unit, you have to navigate separations, moves and relocations, unpredictability, and worries about safety. What’s more is that the commitment to the job is more than just by choice. Warfighters are legally bound to the military for years at a time so you all have to find a way to make it work, even when the road gets tough.
Very insightful! Thank you, sir.
Thanks for the information. I was on the fence about the SOF. Now, I know I’m not interested! Whew! 😳😬😏
Hey can you do a video on sapper school?
Loving that new intro bro!!!
I had several buddies who found out their partner was cheating on them while on deployment. Seeing it first hand and the damage it does, makes you just not want anything to do with it while you're serving. Got medically retired in about 06 and ended up in Australia with my partner. Very few times does it actually work in the military, so if you find a unicorn...best stick with her.
I think the military divorce rates are hurt by the amount of young marriage. It's really not the military doing this as the rates are just as high for 18-21 year olds in the world. It's immaturity and rushing into marriage.
Would love to see a CAG episode
@Mike Foxtrotter I've been searching and can only find one where he talks about cag and sf prep tips, but not full on what Cag or Delta is
@@FigFirearms It is highly classified. Don’t expect to see a detailed video on what, when, where it does whatever it does.
Wow well thank you so many memories coming straight out of the Naval Academy I'm going to cornada and the pipeline being single it was great fun and loneliness at the sametime... then going to the defense intelligence Academy definitely changed my life there she was this breathtakingly beautiful blond with the most beautiful smile she stole my heart and made my life complete.. she stood by me all of my rotations Afghanistan Iraq .Libya.. Syria. And Yemen
There was a time when no service member below the pay grade of E-6 could get married at all without the permission of the first O-5 in their chain of command…we need that back again.
Great video, spot on!
Thank you for your service. Making sure the bad guys are afraid of the dark so we can work in the dark.
Outstanding; 3/160 SOAR
In the beginning of the video you specifically said, "type A personalities". Do you think that only type A people are the best suited for SF? Thanks!
I've learned very few wives wait around so try to make them safe but not to comfortable because people get lonely....
Very clear about that!♠️
4:35 I would add to that a mention to the actual service member that there is absolutely no need for your significant other to be told these things in the first place. Remember, gentlemen, having the proper clearance is the first checkpoint for the decision to "read-in" someone. The second is the "need to know". And this need to know is from the POV of the government, not you, not your buddy who's "cool" or who "knows how to keep a secret", and (despite what your significant other might insist) not your significant other, either.
“Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious” - Oscar Wilde
Sir please make a top10 list for military studies/leadership/history books too
Jody Is at the lure 😏👀
I have a serious question for you, do you think SoFs made a difference in GWOT?
In places like Fallujah, Ramadi, Sangin, and Marjah, the areas were heavily occupied by conventional forces. They became relatively safe, not entirely. I also realize SoF were in these areas.
Have SoFs made any comparable impacts in areas, like those aforementioned places, When working without conventional forces?
who do you think killed osama bin laden and raided many compounds lol
@@sigsauer_firearms I didn’t realize that was the end of KIAs and it single handedly won the war…..
Yes.
Study up on IW and UW and you may find your answer. (Not case specific/classified)
@@samhall5096 thank you for answering. I don’t think IW and UW has been successful in Afghanistan or Iraq. ISIS is still an ongoing problem, and the Taliban is in charge. Let’s not forget to mention the heavier Iranian influence in Iraq now.It may have been successful in places like the Philippines and other areas in Africa and the Middle East, but I imagine those are classified documents
They made an impact in Rawalpindi, that's for sure. All the high-value ops were SOF, from Uday/Qusay all the way to Baghdadi. Rescued hostages, lots more too.
Mental health awareness
Truth !!!!
How about being single in special operations military? What are advantages and disadvantage?
Unpopular opinion, if you marry the right person there isn’t a force in this universe that could tear your marriage apart. Be wise. Be as deliberate & intentional with your wife as you are with your team.
What about special ops women ,I'm a civilian husband
Wow cool 😎
This was a summary of the series "seal team"
A security mandate: Never pose for pictures fondling your weapons. Your enemy might see your self adoration as free intel of his enemy's potential threat, just so you can say, "Hey, lookame in this one. Pretty tough, huh?
What about parents and siblings? I’m working on getting in, but I don’t plan to bring a wife or girlfriend with me, so my only family and next of kin are my parents and brother.
Is that the case with psyops as well?
My dream was to be an American Ranger and I live in Hungary(Europe)... is there any chance to join the US army? Someone can help me? 🇺🇸🙏
I would like to do this again,me and wife broke up years ago.I wonder if I will ever get married again...6months sounds good or short ones 2 months100%,I would be fine but they keep dusting and poisoning me ....the people who train you at some of these places you learn to trust, be t be careful with some guys because they work alone or are merks,merks are all about money basically have little to no loyalty and will wack your whole team...I don't talk to many people anyway not a problem...I it can be fun or dangerous...
In which SF are you Marines, Navy, USAF, Marines
He was an 18A.
👍
Well...idk, what to update in my life anymore. Kinda usual now
Mutual sacrifice... What ever it takes 🎯
Marriage is NOT being absent for over 50% of it. You must make that clear for all concerned, it is not fair to wives and certainly not fair to kids and also to your team who need your total undivided commitment to stay alive.
Join completely, leave and commit completely.
Ok I’ll bite: what’s worse than death??
Another important issue is that you have to be prepared to die, and having family will only make it harder for you and them so in the end is better to be alone
First
I spoke with some woman married to SOF. Something nobody wants talk about ist that the character and behaviour of the man might change during deployment. A divorced woman told me: "It was not the man i married, and i married him already in SOF, but he changed after each deployment to the negative".
An operator's wife can not be a none English speaking foreigner according to secret clearance regulations, unless things have drastically changed.
O'Ora
a jedi / sheepdog should not get married. then you dont have to worry about this stuff.
Bro if you’re planning on going special ops, don’t get married, simple.
This is my plan join the army hopefully i survived three or four tours , retire in the army join the police force or swat and then get a women. Hopefully this plan will work.
No families member is the best
I want a self sufficient competent wife 👀
We do exist man. I met my husband when he was in training (ITC) for MARSOC. He made it through. 10 years this June we have been together and 3 years married. We are in our early and mid thirties now, no children yet. I will graduate with my Bachelors this May (criminology major/psychology minor). I am so damn proud of him and all of his accomplishments. Women need to understand that if they are dating, engaged or married to a SOF man that life will be hard and stressful at times but they have one of the most badass men on this planet. If they are truly in love they will stand by your partner no matter what. Especially due to them literally putting their lives on the line for you, this country, and every individual in the USA on a daily basis. I do agree 100% that a SOF man needs a self sufficient and competent women by his side. A clingy/needy, nonsufficient, self absorbed woman is not gonna cut it for this type of lifestyle. A strong man needs a strong partner. Strong meaning mentally. I hope you are able to find you a strong, self sufficient and competent wife jm cm.
Biased,,,, the video more incline towards military man, what about wife who really love and respect her husband and her dreams too, who really wants to do something as her husband does,,,,, take a balance approach plz
It will destroy your mental health, your relationships, and your body but go ahead and fight for this decaying and corrupt empire.
sounds like someone failed Basic
@@khakipeach2128 Open your eyes.
The soldier can have a husband too.
As if anybody is joining now lol
Who wants to die for this country that hates white males?
😒
,
The thankful satin perioperatively wonder because detective epidemiologically encourage outside a able son. unequal, squeamish dipstick
Don’t get married as a Combat MOS period! Or enter into a POG (admin) MOS where you go home early every day.
Your comment is bad and you should feel bad.
Agreed
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Something foul is afoot here...
imagine being a white man and fighting for the US army
Your name is literally “European Defense league” you are the white man…
We are not special ops. The wife and I have a folder in the safe in case one of us meet are end.
👍