Probably could've guessed a video on bad language might get a bad language restriction! I'd have lived with simple demonetisation but age-rating forces a sign-in to watch becoming a pain to YOU the viewer 💀 TH-cam never specify what they don't like so I just censored things at random in a late panic, butchering my lovely video but better than missing a Matt Rose Monday. Sorry if this affects your enjoyment; I promise next vid that damn cussbell's GONE.
when i was a kid, i thought "orgy" just meant a really wild party with lots of alcohol and stuff. my oldest cousin had just gone off to college, and when i saw her that year at thanksgiving i asked her "are you in a sorority? do they have big orgies?" and my aunt almost threw up from laughing so hard
I think I had this misconception at one point because of how the Asterix books (or at least the English translations) use the the word. Might have been historically accurate, given Gapple's reply, but it's not how the word is *generally* used in English. Thankfully I never said it to an adult.
I’ve gone to confession for years and I’ve tried to confess some stupid stuff but I’m glad it’s never been this bad Once as a kid I was singing in the shower and my dad asked me when I got out if that was me. I was embarrassed and said no, but immediately thought “WAIT I just lied to my parents.” Went to confession later that day and confessed it lol
@@dakotahrickard stooop I was raised catholic and was too innocent as a child, legit said the most unhinged things during the confession. One of my fave is „I licked the spoon after making cake even though it had raw eggs in it”. Not a sin but I felt guilty
When i was little, I confused the words virgin and vegan, so when my grandma brought out a big meatloaf (side note this was a family dinner, every generation at our table) i said "grandma I don't want that meat, I'm a virgin" It's now a core memory i can't get rid of...
When I was 10 years old I thought "neuter" was just a funny way to say murder. You can imagine the bewilderment on my older brother's face when I told him "I'm gonna neuter you" after he wouldn't give me a turn on his xbox.
Think I might have made that mistake once, but it just ended up in a curious discussion between my siblings and I as to what the actual definition of that word was. Naturally we were all a little grossed out when our mother caught wind and solemnly told us what it meant lol
I've been told that, as a baby, I had trouble saying the "tr" sound, and it came out as an "f" sound instead. Needless to say, my parents enjoyed pointing at trucks and asking me what they were called.
I also had the same problem when I was a toddler. I also really liked big trucks. My mom got some extremely judgy stares when I was pointing out every truck in the vicinity while she was waiting for her oil change.
DUDE one time somebody got in an argument with me on pinterest and they used the word "self-defecating" and I couldn't take the convo seriously after that I just sent a bunch of laughing emojis and pointed out their mistake and they acted like me correcting their spelling meant Actually they were Right and I couldn't think of an argument! The only reason, of course, that one would laugh at someone for saying they crapped themselves in the middle of a discussion.
Once I was at a 𝓯𝓪𝓷𝓬𝔂 dinner party at a 𝓯𝓪𝓷𝓬𝔂 restaurant, and I used to think bollocks were just any kind of balls so I asked my mum "mum, can I get a couple new bollocks?"
I didn't know what a blender was when I was like 4 so I pointed at the blender and said "what the hell is that??" My grandpa said "that's not how we talk, try again." "... what the hell is that please?"
"What the hell is that?" was actually my first curse, and I must've been around 4 myself (in case you're wondering what the hell it was, it was a snake. I had never seen a snake before.)
A girl in high school told me that, when she was little, she thought testicles meant your internal organs. One time at dinner she heard the water rumbling around in her belly, and promptly announced to her whole family that she felt her testicles moving.
I was on the internet as a kid, and i saw a video that said "SURPRISE MF" and seconds after seeing it i repeated it to my passing older sister who took 5s to process 😂
when I was a kid I thought a "soul-mate" was just someone you were like, spiritually linked to in some way. I was eating dinner with my whole family and after finding out we had the same birthday, told my sister's boyfriend we were soul-mates.
I knew a kid whose older sister convinced him that “good riddance you bastard” was an old English way of saying “goodbye friend” and so the kid repeated it to his dad before he went away on a work trip, I’ve never seen his mom so pissed
Mine was “Home wrecker”. I knew home wrecker meant cheating, but I also thought that ANY way of destroying a household meant you were a home wrecker, whether it be murder or the literal deconstruction of a home. One time when I was playing with my dolls I called one of them a “Home-wrecker” and my mom overheard. She laughed and asked me “Oh who’d he cheat on her with?” I replied; “He lit the house on fire.”
Not a swear, but when I was little I thought the word "communist" was somebody who made people laugh. The word was Comedian. I told everyone who would listen I would grow up and be a communist. For 7 years no one corrected me...
My brother is a brainrot kid. He’s still innocent, he’s 7, and during dinner, he looked me dead in the eyes, and told me ‘I’m gonna bust.’ very sincerely, and then pretended to explode.
@@samdaugherty7585 yes of course. Him taking the effort to mod a Nintendo game is much more plausible and reasonable to think than he might've misremembered a fictional placename in a foreign language. True
I was told as a child that "keep it in your pants" meant you should keep your wallet in your pocket so it wouldn't get stolen. You can imagine what happened.
@@yayvids I can easily imagine the scenario where it is overheard and questioned, then explained away with a seemingly innocuous lie not considering the chain of events that may be set in motion.
When I was a kid, I misheard the start of the song 'Footloose'. It says "Been working so hard, I'm punching my card" but being eight and having no concept of punch-card time systems at work, I just thought he was singing "Been working so hard, I'm punching my car", as if he was working so hard that afterwards he just had to beat the crap out of his Volvo in the parking lot. It didn't make a lot of sense to me, but then I realised I was young and did not understand the pressures of adult life, which suddenly seemed very daunting to me, and full of car-punching.
These stories are great examples of why, when a kid uses an inappropriate word, the best thing to do is ask "hm, what does that mean?" and when they give their believed answer you can say "oh you might be getting that mixed up with something else, how about you say X instead?" (you can judge whether the kid is old enough to get a simplified version of what the word actually means). It's always good to remember that these kids are learning LANGUAGE for the first time, and suddenly yelling at them or acting shocked at something they said is just gonna confuse and upset them, they might not even know what they did wrong, and just end up thinking "wow this adult yells at you sometimes when you speak" and learn nothing (except that you aren't a safe adult)
Yes! This is a perfect way to go about it, rather than telling off a confused child and not explaining yourself, or ignoring them and letting them go years embarrassing themselves :3
When I was a kid I thought virgin meant not being married. I asked my primary teacher one day when we were walking down the stairs if she was a virgin.
Mine was worse, I thought it meant if you had kissed somebody, I was talking about it and I said “I’m a virgin if you don’t consider family members and all of that”
Lol, I once told a joke where a genie makes a woman immortal because she doesn't want to die a virgin (I thought virgin meant you were single) to my mom, and my dad, and my at the time young sister, at dinner one night. I'm so bloody embarrassed.
The way my mom described adultery to me when I was young was something to the effect of "it's when two people pretend to be married to each other when they're actually not." Pretty clever way of being vague about it while getting the point across in a way I would understand when I got older.
I once said “uptown fuck” in an elevator with almost all of my family members inside it because i thought it was apart of the lyrics “uptown funk” when i was like 5
That's kind of funny because when I was 6 I was visiting my mom and whenever I heard uptown funk play, I'd sit in the corner and go "uptown.. fuck it up." Didn't know what it meant.
Oh my gosh, I used to always use the wrong words and mix up these three terms: - Persecute - Prosecute - Prostitute I would say things like "we can't shoplift or else we will be persecuted" or "they prostituted them in court" and then be like "wait that's not the word"
When I was in second grade me and friend were talking about Harry Potter. He called me a Gryffindork. I wanted to get him back so I called him a Slitherdick not knowing what it meant, I got in trouble. Looking back that was a good comeback though.
The existence of this entire video is a REALLY good argument for explaining to kids more clearly what words and phrases mean, and what contexts they are and are not appropriate to use in-
No that's a terrible idea. If you tell kids these words(like kids under 12) they will just use them no matter what you tell them about the words because they're trying to annoy you.
@@gappleofdiscord9752Nope. A lot of kids will experience cold horror at the very idea that they even accidentally said a 'bad word.' All depends on how they were raised and how much anxiety and perfectionism they have.
@@gappleofdiscord9752 If you really believe kids would intentionally and willingly annoy their parents with something that might get them scolded or punished you've got it wrong. A lot of kids want to avoid disappointing their parents more than anything else. Not necessarily by fear of angering them, just the idea of disapproval is enough to keep them behaving. Paradoxically, it's when they grow up that they tend to want to challenge the authority of their parents. But alas that's a natural step in everyone's growth.
When I was younger, I would tack "duh" onto the end of any sentence where I was telling a person something I thought was obvious. I used this at a theme park once when my mom asked which direction a certain ride was, and I confidently responded: "It's just over there, duh!" not realizing the rude connotation of that statement. After my mom yelled at me for saying it, I thought for the next several years that "duh" was a bad word and I would give people weird looks if they said it or if I heard it in a TV show. Took a while to realize that it wasn't inherently bad, it was just the way I used it that was rude.
It's actually worse than you think. If you look at older media, like 60's to 80's, you'll realize 'duh' wasn't used like 'obviously' the way we associate it today. It was a form of stutter to depict someone with an intellectual disability, specifically Down's syndrome. "I do like to eat this, duh!" would be a sentence you could find. An example would be if you read Asterix and the Secret Agent. The large redhead legionary speaks this way. But then we had people using it sarcatically to mock you by stating that even a person with an intellectual disability would 'get it.' And this was a lot of people's first exposure to it. So it got popularised that way and family-friendlied to the point where Disgust from Inside Out says it. But there is even a moment where she uses it in the old way towards Anger, just before she puts on the soldering helmet.
When I was younger, my dad was taking me to Mexico, and told me we were just going there for tourism. The lady checking the tickets before we got on the plane asked me sweetly if I was excited to go to Mexico. I loudly exclaimed, "yes, we're going to do terrorism!!!!" Needless to say we did not get on that plane and we were escorted out of the airport.
I’ll still never forget that time I was watching titanic and in the scene where the ship hits the iceberg the lookout says “pick up you bastards!” And here I was, little innocent 8 year old me like a fucking parrot going *_”BASTARDS!”_*
LOL i remember being like 12 and listening to music from les mis while my little brother was in the room, and one song came on that has "bastard" in the lyrics and I was so scared that I was accidentally going to teach him a bad word (I didn't know what it meant, just that it wasn't nice) but because the singer's accent was so thick, my brother thought he said "boston" and it didn't even register
Made even worse by the fact that the word “bastard” is used multiple times in that movie. RIP your parents having to teach child you not to call anybody an unbelievable bastard 😭
This brought me back to the time when I was a kid and watched those pivot stickman animations and recreated them in comics with hamsters as the characters...once I saw an animation of a stickman being ran over and saying "YOU JUST RAN OVER ME YOU BASTARD" and I drew out the entire thing. And I showed it to my counselor at after school. 😁
I used to think condom was a name calling word like "annoying", so when my family went out to eat at Red Robin, my sister who was thinking about having a child. They were talking about condoms, i yelled angerly "I AM NOT A CONDOM" everybody started laughing. The worst part was that we were in a party table in the middle of everyone. I was 5 at the time
@@axelbelanger2981 Some sisters and brothers (from the same parents) can have a LOOOOT of age disparity. A friend of mine is the last in her family. She's 24. The youngest sister she has (right before her) is 40. I think one of her brothers must be around 54. Yup, your read well : that's a 30 years age disparity. What happened ? Well, turns out her parents thought her mother was old enough to no longer be able to get pregnant... So they didn't use condoms. Well, fast forward 9 months and a very big surprise. 😅 And so my friend became an aunt at the age of 10, when her sister was 26.
When I was about six years old, I was at the grocery store with my parents and we were waiting in line at the register. The african american family in front of us had their toddler riding the conveyer belt, so I turned to my mom and said, "I thought slavery ended, why are they buying her?" I was met with cold silence and horrified stares from my family, the family in front of us, and the cashier. Still cringe thinking about it
No bc why did my english teacher have fetish as vocabulary word and explain it JUST LIKE THAT "Having an affiliation for something/being obsessed with something" 😭 everyone in class was either disgusted or confused
Oh no, I was bound to find one I relate to eventually. One time, when I was 11, sneaking onto the internet, I posted in the middle of a forum community I was on that I had a "raven fetish" thinking it just meant that I was obsessed with ravens (they wrre my favourite bird at the time)... got a lot of concerned replies and had no idea why... nine years later I still want to evaporate thinking about it
When i was about 4, I thought the word sexy meant beautiful. So, when my mum was getting ready for a Christmas party and asked how she looks, i confidently said to her, "You look so sexy!" My mum was horrified. My dad burst out laughing.
Once when I was little, I heard my mum call my sister a "pisspot" because she was crying or something. I started yelling PISSPOT PISSPOT. My mom said that was a bad word I shouldn't say it, and I honestly thought she meant "pot" was the bad word. Started calling my sister a pissbaby instead
my little brother, about ten, once was saying he gave great advice to his friends and joking that they should pay him for it. he then said, “i’m a friend with benefits!” i immediately went “no. no. no. nope. no. nope”
@@The-S-H3lf-Eater I mean that's what you call it if are having sex with someone who otherwise is a friend, but without being in a romantic relationship. "Friends with benefits".
One time in like fourth grade i saw some kids giving each other the middle finger and they said it was "the cuss sign." I thought it was cool and that night at dinner there was a lapse in the conversation so I just held up both middle fingers and innocently said "this is the cuss sign." THE ABSOLUTE CHAOS THAT ENSUED 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
When I was in school there was a new kid from Nepal who didn't really understand UK customs when he first arrived so a kid in my class thought it would be funny to tell him that sticking up your middle finger was a way to say hello so he did that to a teacher
I got in trouble for flipping the double-bird in kindergarten. I was singing "Where is Thumbkin" to myself. For those unfamiliar, it's a children's song to the tune of Frere Jacques where you hold up pairs of fingers, and yes, the gesture for the "tall man" verse is *exactly* what you think it is (incidentally, the song is *also* the context behind that one Mr Rogers picture.) I got to that verse, had a teacher immediately run up and start yelling at me, and I didn't understand why I was getting in trouble for singing a song. After a long talking to, it was a *very* memorable way to find out that was an offensive gesture.
When I was 15, my school went on a field trip to an ice skating rink. Another student accidentally crashed into me and I ended up kneeing my crotch as I fell to the ground. As they were helping me back up, they asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, but I think I busted a nut." They started laughing so hard they let go of me and I fell down again. And that was the day I found out "busting a nut" didn't mean getting hit in the groin.
When my great grandfather died, a ton of people were at his funeral. Everyone was talking about him, mourning him and crying. I (4) said “Everyone shut up, he’s sleeping.”
I had a similar experience with being young at a funeral. I was about 3 and my great grandfather had passed away. All I can remember about the funeral was chasing my cousin around and eating cookies. We had no idea why everybody was so sad...
One time my friend asked me "How are you?" and I said "Hi". She started laughing, but I thought it was just because of my awkwardness, so I said "I'm very hi" and then I realized what I'd said
@@dakotahrickard Nah... maybe in a song or poem, that would fly, but in normal everyday speech, when you say someone is "high", that clearly means on something...
One day in kindergarten art class I overheard the "naughty" group of boys whisper to each other "fuck" and then giggle. I thought it was a funny word, and decided to name the color I was making after it. So I then proceeded to parade around my brand new "fuck color" to everyone and eventually the teacher caught on and sent me to the office where I learned that it was a "no-no word"
I was walking in a small city with my parents and they were talking. I loudly asked "WHAT IS A "HICK"?" and a lady turn around to look at us while entering a bank and she ran into the door and fell over.
To put it simply, it’s what outsiders think I am, I live in the lower part of the Midwest where it’s largely rural with small towns scattered around. The funny thing is that both of my parents are from small towns, and I lived for 2 years of my childhood in a small town, but none of us were/are people you would consider hicks. To be fair, even I see people from my own state, sometimes my relatives, and think “Gosh, that dude seems like such a hick!” And then there’s the state/county fairs, where that’s the vibe of almost the whole thing, which I admittedly find incredibly silly.
3:35 Little did this person know, they are still confused about chicken anatomy to this very day. "Gobble" is a sound. The chicken-beard is a "wattle."
the kiddo my mom babysits calls his tow trucks “hookers”. the look i gave my mom when he was innocently playing and suddenly started talking about his hookers was more shocked that i’ve ever been. also, i used to get foreskin confused with forearm. that was fun learning the actual meaning long after i told my sister “is this your card? no? check under your foreskin” thinking it mean the skin on her forearm.
I used to think condom was an abbreviation of condominium. One day while we were in the town that my grandma lived, I'd asked if we were going to her condom.
I thought the N word meant someone who was really fast. Oh boy was it really hard trying to tell the teacher I called a kid the N word during tag because he was really fast...
@@ChefReubon No, I was just searching through a bunch of song lyrics (i loved singing when i was really young) and encountered the N word somehow. I'll never live this memory down.
My parents taught me that "hate" was a swear word. Up until I was 10, whenever I was mad at someone, I would say "I really really don't like you" in the most vile, insidious voice i could muster. Then I had the audacity to wonder why people didn't take me seriously
❌ I hate you 😠 ✅ Good sir, I must inform you that I thoroughly dislike you. I cannot, in any fathomable way, stand your presence. Begone, as I hereby require you to leave these premises at once.
When I was in elementary school there was this boy who thought "shut up" was a swear, so he would always say "shutta" and then even though no one asked he would go "I didn't say it! I didn't say the p!"
When I was younger I was doing a pirate impression and I said “Curse you! Arrrr!” to my mom, cause I heard Doofensmirtz say it, and she was so mad at me that I thought it was a swear word for a little while.
I used to mix up Lebanese and lesbian as a kiddo. I knew a girl who was Lebanese and I saw her dating a guy and said “hey aren’t you Lebanese?” Never forgetting that very moment
One time, my mom tried to get me to search up "Donald Trump rule 34" because she'd heard on Facebook that it was about some law in one of the states about the number of felonies you can run for office with or something. I had to explain to her that she definitely did NOT want to see anything about Trump rule 34.
I recall earnestly trying to convince my friends that while ‘shit’ may be a bad and naughty word, ‘bullshit’ was perfectly fine. No idea how that came about.
@@electra_ I'm not native English (/ don't live in a English speaking country), and at a family dinner, I once said "It's badass" (because I heard it on TH-cam). I immediately regretted what I just said, because the whole family spent like 10 minutes, around the word badass, figuring out what it could mean (they knew).
when I was a kid, I thought 'masturbation' was a political term, like an office you ran for or a title or something. well it was an election year and I decided to ask my dad "so, what's with the masturbation?"
This is actually really normal and common for kids that age. Death is a new concept and knowing old people die sooner is part of the whole realisation. Hopefully grandma wasn't upset, as a negative reaction can really affect the persons relationship with death.
English is not my first language.Way back in elementary school we had to do a verbal presentation on our family and I proceeded to call my grand-father ret*rded. Retired.The word i was looking for was retired.
This same fucking thing happened to me when I played F-Zero GX and died. I then thought "no wonder this game is rated T, it said 'retarded'". I only knew the word because my late older brother and my other older brother would call each other retarded all the time. It said "retired"
I told my dad in a car ride we’re gonna watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid and my half sister probably 3 or 4 at the time piped up with “wE’Re waTcHiNg DiArRhea?!”
I never heard the word until I was in like 9th grate at the earliest, thank god, but even before then, I knew about the practice because, duh, guy things, and I had to learn about it from my parents sooner or later! They told me I was pure chaos during mine.
When i was a kid i once got really upset from being stressed all day because i swore at school, i was scared I'd be in trouble, when questioned by my mum i revealed I'd said "flipping". She never lets me live that one down
Nah so when I used to go Christmas shopping, I called those things you use to hook the ornaments on to the tree “hookers”. So cue me in the store yelling, “DAD, LETS GET SOME HOOKERS TO TAKE HOME!”
The absolute worst case of this was me hearing “slapping a lady’s butt with a wink is a compliment” off of family guy and I did it to my mother when she was upset about her grandmother dying. I sincerely thought it would cheer her up. Mind you I was like 5 at the time. She immediately went to my father to yell around him about letting me watch family guy with him. I vaguely remember doing this to a classmate before this too. I cringe so hard whenever I’m cursed to remember it
I used to confuse "ketamine" with "dopamine" at, like, age 9. While talking about something I enjoyed, I said "This is just pure ketamine to me." or something along those lines. Curiously enough, nobody questioned this until I figured it out on my own, at which point I never made mention of ketamine (or dopamine, just to be safe) again.
Made up a language with my best friend as a kid. Had different iterations of the same letter to mean different things, and three versions of the letter meant “I love you”. It was the letter “K”.
As 5ish year old kid I watched videos of the “condom challenge” on TH-cam and excitedly went to my family, telling them to buy me condoms. No more TH-cam for 7 years.
@@TechTactics4253i think it was when people would make fake used condoms and leave them around their partners? (with like soap and stuff) but that might have been something else
When I was around 12, I remember wondering how many unknowing kids we're inspired to ask their parents to buy condoms because of condom challenges by Guava Juice and Marlin, so now I know at least one person did that lol. (side note: is it common for 12-year-olds to know what a condom is?)
So when I was younger I was in love with Clash of Clans (or as people called it, COC). I think you know where this one is going. One time, when watching my sister’s dance practice, I started talking about how I loved COC… my mom was very concerned.
I used to think abortion meant to un-adopt a child you adopted and while playing a Roblox game where you could adopt babies I asked my dad “if there is an adoption center why isn’t there an abortion center?” The funniest part was that his reaction was just “I didn’t know you knew that word.”
When I was a kid, I thought "sleeping with someone" meant for two people to just sleep in the same bed together. When I went over to my mum's house once, my brother, mum, and step-dad were all there. I just stated, "I slept with my dad last night." They all laughed so hard.
@@Peppermint_PuffI have memories of associating the phrase “to blow off” with “blowjob” and “to suck off”. 😂 I was a reasonably mature teenager when that happened.
When I was about 10, my family took a road trip. It took 4 days of driving all day to get to our destination and 4 days to get back, and by the third day, my parents were stressed (and I can say with 100% certainty that me and my 6 year old brother asking “when will we get home” every 10 minutes didn’t help). At some point, our gps wasn’t cooperating, and my mom was frustrated with just about anything that dared catch her notice. While she was trying to figure out where she was going, a train kept blowing its horn, and finally, she snapped and yelled “Where even is that fricking train!” My innocent little brother helpfully informed her that “the fricking train is over there mom!” I wasn’t old enough to know what that meant yet, but my brain decided to join my dad’s descent into laughter, and now that moment is forever carved into my memories.
When I was a kid, I confused "ignored" and "annoyed" a lot. So my parents would be confused when I was upset that my brother ignored me and then proceeded to describe the exact opposite.
When I was younger, I saw the phrase "I have feelings for you" on a TH-cam video back in the day. Sometime soon, I told my mom that I had "feelings for her" I used to think it was a way of telling someone you love them in a PLATONIC way.
When I was 9 or so, I got one of those weird teenage girl books for Christmas from a family member. The sort of book that had personality quizzes, best haircut for face your face shape, compatibility with other star signs, what colours suit you, shopping advice etc. It also contained activities for a sleepover. A year later I finally had my first sleepover and was so excited to do the things I'd read about in this book. I brought my book along to do the activities with my friends. I started out with the introduction quiz filling in our names, favourite colour etc. Then as any teenage girl book thing does, it asked 'who is your crush?'. I oh innocent child had never heard this word before and asked my friends what it meant. They laughed at me and then described it as 'a boy you love'. Well my (as it turns out) ace arse was baffled by this statement. I mean, what boys could one possibly love. There seemed to be only one option for me. "Well... I love my dad!" Naturally my friends laughed at me again, but I thought it was just cause it was a dorky thing to say. The next night I told my dad I had a crush on him thinking he'd be pleased💀 He put on a stern face and said "don't say that" with no explanation. I wouldn't find out what the word actually meant until I was 13😭
AWWWWWWWWWW. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope I never accidentally shut my littles down like that. Also, that's seriously super cute. You deserve hugs.
Dude it sucks when parents get mad at you and they don't explain it, like, dude, explain it, it's not too inappropriate for you to explain Also comment gives off sweet vibes
Aww that's so sweet lol, well.. most of it. Yeah I'm noticing a trend with this comment section and people being ace and not realizing something like this lol
One time in 6th grade me and my friend were doing a presentation on lebanon and one of the slides said ¨top ten most famous lebanese people" my friend said "top ten most famous lesbian people¨ that same friend also said terrorism was one of the biggest sources of income for kenya instead of tourism
8:01 I also used to mix these up, but I also mixed them up with “taurus” as in the zodiac sign. So I was like 7-8 going around telling people my mom was a terrorist….
When I was in 4th grade, I heard one boy crying to the teacher that some older students had called him gay. I was confused, cause I thought it meant happy and so I decided to test it out at home. My older sibling was in a good mood and so I said, “You’re so gay.” Which prompted them to burst into tears and run to their room. My (very traditional) parents refused to tell me what it meant and 10 years later my older sibling and I talked about it again. THEY WERE IN TROUBLE AT SCHOOL FOR KISSING A GIRL AND BEING RELENTLESSLY BULLIED AND THEY THOUGHT I KNEW AND WAS BULLYING THEM TOO 😭😭😭😭😭 WORST TIMING EVER
Gay does actually mean happy or merry, but it isn't really used in that context any more. You can still find it meaning "happy" in older literature like Black Beauty (I think I remember learning that meaning of "gay" from that book)
Wow that is just... yeah, that's about the worst timing for saying that, ever. But hopefully she knows now that you were just an oblivious kid with terrible timing? I hope she's able to live more freely now
When I was little and loved undertale, I saw an undertale comic dub that had Sans and Toriel in it. I'm pretty sure she asked him what chips he wanted at the store and he said "Doritos, slut." And I thought it was SO funny. So the next time me and my mom were at the store, she asked me what chips I wanted, and I recalled that funny comic. And you know what little me said? "Doritos, slut." In the middle of the store, with multiple people behind me. As a small child. Yeah, she wasn't very pleased. I didn't even want doritos
"Mom, we're out of apples, so don't blame me for getting tired" "What do you mean?" "Well, how am I supposed to stay awake without having any condoms to eat?" 💀 💀 💀
I mean, battery makes metaphorical sense in that sitch. Condom is just weird. "Yes, pick up apples, for I need to eat condoms to recharge." @@mrfrog0913
im so glad that i didnt actually say this, but in like 5th or 6th class my teacher asked us to name all the emotions we knew, so i raised my hand up SO confidently with an emotion in mind that i thought was really clever. it was LUST.
I thought clit was a type of bug (I don't know how I came to that conclusion) and one day when my mom and I were eating lunch on the porch, there was a bug on the screen. My 8 year old self says, "Is that a fly or a clit?"
Probably could've guessed a video on bad language might get a bad language restriction! I'd have lived with simple demonetisation but age-rating forces a sign-in to watch becoming a pain to YOU the viewer 💀 TH-cam never specify what they don't like so I just censored things at random in a late panic, butchering my lovely video but better than missing a Matt Rose Monday. Sorry if this affects your enjoyment; I promise next vid that damn cussbell's GONE.
@@Matt_Rosehi
lmao
No, TH-cam loves swear words, that's why the bots are still here
MATT ROSE IS MY HUSBAND I LOVE YOU MATT😘😘😘
Honestly that just keeps kids from saying dumb things here, how appropriate
when i was a kid, i thought "orgy" just meant a really wild party with lots of alcohol and stuff. my oldest cousin had just gone off to college, and when i saw her that year at thanksgiving i asked her "are you in a sorority? do they have big orgies?" and my aunt almost threw up from laughing so hard
little kid me also thought that "lesbian" was just slang for a sleazy asshole for some reason. i'm so sorry lesbians
it did mean that a few thousand years ago
@@gappleofdiscord9752hundread
I didnt know what f you meant before and ı asked to my sister and brother what it was
I think I had this misconception at one point because of how the Asterix books (or at least the English translations) use the the word. Might have been historically accurate, given Gapple's reply, but it's not how the word is *generally* used in English. Thankfully I never said it to an adult.
I thought railed meant DESTROYED and once said something along the lines of "I got railed in gym today, it was crazy" to my mother
bro 😭
well who railed you in gym 🤨
IT’S NOT FAIR! IT SHOULD’VE BEEN ME! NOT HIM, ME!
LMAO 💀
Well it may mean destroyed...
Imagine being a priest and some kid comes in and keeps confessing to adultery.
Yeah. I'm confused. I've actually legit brought stuff in and my priest was like "Um, that's not a sin, but thanks for telling me?"
"I should tell the other priests that you are mine!"
"Ugh! You again! Hasn't your husband divorced you yet- oh shit, we can't do that... right.
I’ve gone to confession for years and I’ve tried to confess some stupid stuff but I’m glad it’s never been this bad
Once as a kid I was singing in the shower and my dad asked me when I got out if that was me. I was embarrassed and said no, but immediately thought “WAIT I just lied to my parents.” Went to confession later that day and confessed it lol
@@dakotahrickard stooop I was raised catholic and was too innocent as a child, legit said the most unhinged things during the confession. One of my fave is „I licked the spoon after making cake even though it had raw eggs in it”. Not a sin but I felt guilty
When i was little, I confused the words virgin and vegan, so when my grandma brought out a big meatloaf (side note this was a family dinner, every generation at our table) i said "grandma I don't want that meat, I'm a virgin"
It's now a core memory i can't get rid of...
im so sorry to hear that god
"I don't want that meat, I'm a virgin"
Bruh, ain't no way💀💀💀
Reminds me of when I called someone from Virginia that
I MISREAD THAT AS "vagina" and "virgin" and I was like, "what does a vagina have to do with meatloaf?!?"
i bloody knew it, god DOES make mistakes!
When I was 10 years old I thought "neuter" was just a funny way to say murder. You can imagine the bewilderment on my older brother's face when I told him "I'm gonna neuter you" after he wouldn't give me a turn on his xbox.
a way scarier threat
It’s far less extreme than “murder” but a far more effective threat for how unexpected it is lol
@@EMLtheViewertrue.
Think I might have made that mistake once, but it just ended up in a curious discussion between my siblings and I as to what the actual definition of that word was. Naturally we were all a little grossed out when our mother caught wind and solemnly told us what it meant lol
I will now be using this.
I've been told that, as a baby, I had trouble saying the "tr" sound, and it came out as an "f" sound instead. Needless to say, my parents enjoyed pointing at trucks and asking me what they were called.
I was anticipating the punchline, yet it still hit me like a -f- truck
I also had the same problem when I was a toddler. I also really liked big trucks. My mom got some extremely judgy stares when I was pointing out every truck in the vicinity while she was waiting for her oil change.
this hit me like a fuck
Wonder if you ever pointed out a firefuck
You mean you had fouble with it
I thought jokes making fun of yourself were self *defecating* so I once told someone I self defecate and they gave me a look and walked away
I see a lot of people write "self depreciating" instead of deprecating but yours is funnier!
Yeah, i tend to self-defecate alot too
I mean it is shitting on yourself
DUDE one time somebody got in an argument with me on pinterest and they used the word "self-defecating" and I couldn't take the convo seriously after that I just sent a bunch of laughing emojis and pointed out their mistake and they acted like me correcting their spelling meant Actually they were Right and I couldn't think of an argument! The only reason, of course, that one would laugh at someone for saying they crapped themselves in the middle of a discussion.
@@lanturn3239 Nah but who the hell argues on fucking pinterest and for what reason
Once I was at a 𝓯𝓪𝓷𝓬𝔂 dinner party at a 𝓯𝓪𝓷𝓬𝔂 restaurant, and I used to think bollocks were just any kind of balls so I asked my mum "mum, can I get a couple new bollocks?"
":" used to be known as "Dog Bollocks" until it was changed to "Colon"
not much better though..
HAZBIN PFP SPOTTED(sorry this is complwtwly unrelated-)
ball sack advanced
@ FELLOW HAZBIN SPOTTED 🫵
@Whatulookinat-huh what?
I didn't know what a blender was when I was like 4 so I pointed at the blender and said "what the hell is that??" My grandpa said "that's not how we talk, try again."
"... what the hell is that please?"
I can HEAR Matt Rose reading out this comment, I hope this comment appears if he does a second video on this
At least you said the magic word 😂
"What the hell is that?" was actually my first curse, and I must've been around 4 myself (in case you're wondering what the hell it was, it was a snake. I had never seen a snake before.)
You made my day, thank you
That is entirely his fault for not explaining what the problem was and what he expected instead 😂 Adults constantly do this…
A girl in high school told me that, when she was little, she thought testicles meant your internal organs. One time at dinner she heard the water rumbling around in her belly, and promptly announced to her whole family that she felt her testicles moving.
Underrated.
i never said the word testicles as a kid, but i remember thinking that they were in everyone's body, and looked like small beans.
@@TheQueenOfCards so like... kidneys?
@@TheQueenOfCardsTechnically not wrong, but not exactly right, either.
so basically mixed it up with intestines?
when i was a kid i yelled "WANKER 😃" in a clothes shop and promptly got shushed by my family members
I was on the internet as a kid, and i saw a video that said "SURPRISE MF" and seconds after seeing it i repeated it to my passing older sister who took 5s to process 😂
Oh my
LOL
💀💀💀
Would've been funnier if you were in a car and shouted it at people waiting at a bus stop
when I was a kid I thought a "soul-mate" was just someone you were like, spiritually linked to in some way. I was eating dinner with my whole family and after finding out we had the same birthday, told my sister's boyfriend we were soul-mates.
I bet your sister loved that
I knew a kid whose older sister convinced him that “good riddance you bastard” was an old English way of saying “goodbye friend” and so the kid repeated it to his dad before he went away on a work trip, I’ve never seen his mom so pissed
Oh my gosh that's hilarious!!!!!!!
XD Did the older sister hear, do you think? I imagine she'd want to hear her prank pay off.
I said bastard to my mom once as a kid thinking it was a funny word, I will never forget her face
this one killed me
I'm imagining him saying it like Lazlo in What We Do In The Shadows
vividly remember calling the mystery machine from scooby-doo the "shag mobile". y'know, because of shaggy.
I used to call Scooby-Doo "Dumb Bastard show" because my uncle who hated it for some reason called it that
@@Daluckyplays thats so fucking funny actually 🤣
@daluckyplays your uncle sounds like he needs a scooby snack
@@gutbucket6184 Nah, he's not going to eat something related to the Dumb Bastard show. You can't force him to do that.
to be fair who knows what they were getting up to in that thing
Mine was “Home wrecker”. I knew home wrecker meant cheating, but I also thought that ANY way of destroying a household meant you were a home wrecker, whether it be murder or the literal deconstruction of a home. One time when I was playing with my dolls I called one of them a “Home-wrecker” and my mom overheard. She laughed and asked me “Oh who’d he cheat on her with?” I replied; “He lit the house on fire.”
That's so cute and chaotic at the same time, I love it.
Very adorable.
And i always thought the same.
LMAO 😭
This made me genuinely laugh so hard
I love how the mom was engaged with the story 😂
Not a swear, but when I was little I thought the word "communist" was somebody who made people laugh.
The word was Comedian.
I told everyone who would listen I would grow up and be a communist. For 7 years no one corrected me...
They still do just for different reasons
Your story is still missing the coming full circle bit, comrade... 😈
@@silkwesir1444 I ain't no comrade. I detest communism
Soyuz nerushimyj respublik svbodnykh, splotila naveki velikaja Rus'! Da zdravstvujet sozdannyj, volej narodnov, jedinyj moguchyj Sovetskij Sojuz!
-First line of the Soviet anthem.
WELCOME TO OUR UNION.
there's still time don't worry
This is why you either don't tell a kid what something means, or you tell them exactly what it means, no euphemisms.
some cases won't work
First one of the video, DEFINITELY!
@@GuilhermeMichel Almost nothing is universally applicable, but I can't think of any counterexamples *shrug*
The first one won't work
What's a euphenism?
I told my cousin that peanuts was a bad word and now i regret it.
"You're a peanut!"
peanus
Classic peanut moment
thats a good one tbh
Let's just say... my peanits
i mean its basically the safe version of dick/dickhead/pussy
I told my mom "call me beef cause im stroganoff" thinking it was just a stupid online meme
MY KITTEN IS NAMED BEEF STROGANOFF HELP
Thats terrible lmao
my tortoise's name is Stroganoff loll. I call him a hamburger sometimes because he's hamburger sized
she beefin on my strogan till i off
whats a stroganof
My brother is a brainrot kid. He’s still innocent, he’s 7, and during dinner, he looked me dead in the eyes, and told me ‘I’m gonna bust.’ very sincerely, and then pretended to explode.
😭
Well. I hope that he begins reading books and the brainrot can be undone.
I'll never understand the Gen Alpha humour...
im sorry for your loss...
That’s hilarious.
@@ubblebunguslovely pfp!
"This traffic is awful!"
"Just fuck the horn!" 💀 💀
Horn after 9 months 🤰
@shinyhunterbirb You think they wouldn’t use an apple?
@@sylph8005I JUST READ THAT OTHER COMMENT ONG
Probably the origin of the word horny 😂
@@shinyhunterbirbthat's how you get sirenhead
I said so many stupid things as a child my mother has a journal of all my quotes that is 87 pages long
Sotp is a good choice for me
@@liamboyd3705 was that the swear of 87?!
@@dirhi The hell does sotp mean
@@JessePinkman_69420 Yes
@@JessePinkman_69420 No
I used to call the word “phoenix” “penix” and my family laughed at me,I then asked them why and they laughed at me even more..
Peenix SC?
@@isaacskinner5565I was gonna say that 💀
@@isaacskinner5565i knew someone was gonna say it
@@isaacskinner5565 woooo
PEENIX
My dad thought “gang bang” meant gangsters who shot people up. He’s over 50…
I mean, it could also mean that.
@@Vanta526Took me a sec. Wtf, bro?💀💀💀
@@Emil_Stoltz - Re venj of the braces gurl
@ahmataevo Let's pretend i understood what you just said
I.. Didn't know it means something else either 😅
My Dad once referred to Hateno Village in Breath of the Wild as "Hentai Village."
He had hundreds of hours in that game.
your dad sounds like a guy i'd love to meet
He probably downloaded a mod where it was called that
@@samdaugherty7585 yes of course. Him taking the effort to mod a Nintendo game is much more plausible and reasonable to think than he might've misremembered a fictional placename in a foreign language. True
hmm
Go up the hill and it's accurate.
Shouted to the whole bank “DAD, THAT MAN’S GOTTA WOODY”
The toy. He had Woody from Toy Story on his desk.
I mean, that's not even bad since everyone would immediately get what you mean
got a*
gotta = got to
@@encycl07pedia- youtube repliers try not to correct grammar for no reason **DIFFICULTY: IMPOSSIBLE**
@@Wasntntnt Dipsh*ts always get offended because they're reminded how "stew bid" they are. Read a book.
@@Wasntntnt TH-cam commenters trying to make a comment with correct grammar once in their life **DIFFICULTY: BEYOND IMPOSSIBLE**
I was told as a child that "keep it in your pants" meant you should keep your wallet in your pocket so it wouldn't get stolen. You can imagine what happened.
I would not want to be the adult on the other end of that interaction.
* wallet falls on the floor
You: Hey, mister! Keep it in your pants!
okay but it's legit disgusting whoever told you that like tf
@@yayvidsnah man that's just funny
@@yayvids I can easily imagine the scenario where it is overheard and questioned, then explained away with a seemingly innocuous lie not considering the chain of events that may be set in motion.
When I was a kid, I misheard the start of the song 'Footloose'. It says "Been working so hard, I'm punching my card" but being eight and having no concept of punch-card time systems at work, I just thought he was singing "Been working so hard, I'm punching my car", as if he was working so hard that afterwards he just had to beat the crap out of his Volvo in the parking lot. It didn't make a lot of sense to me, but then I realised I was young and did not understand the pressures of adult life, which suddenly seemed very daunting to me, and full of car-punching.
Car-punching?
Nah, that's Street Fighter, lawl
Jack/Get back/*I’m not the only Jack*
Sounds more like something you’d have to with a Nissan instead of a Volvo
These stories are great examples of why, when a kid uses an inappropriate word, the best thing to do is ask "hm, what does that mean?" and when they give their believed answer you can say "oh you might be getting that mixed up with something else, how about you say X instead?" (you can judge whether the kid is old enough to get a simplified version of what the word actually means). It's always good to remember that these kids are learning LANGUAGE for the first time, and suddenly yelling at them or acting shocked at something they said is just gonna confuse and upset them, they might not even know what they did wrong, and just end up thinking "wow this adult yells at you sometimes when you speak" and learn nothing (except that you aren't a safe adult)
Yes! This is a perfect way to go about it, rather than telling off a confused child and not explaining yourself, or ignoring them and letting them go years embarrassing themselves :3
This. 1000%.
Preach, comrade.
One problem. How do you know you're talkign to adults?
this deserves like 10x more likes
When I was a kid I thought virgin meant not being married. I asked my primary teacher one day when we were walking down the stairs if she was a virgin.
To be fair, that is what the word “virgin” used to mean. You weren’t technically wrong; you were just using an outdated definition.
Mine was worse, I thought it meant if you had kissed somebody, I was talking about it and I said “I’m a virgin if you don’t consider family members and all of that”
That is almost exactly like what happened to me when I was around 9.
Lol, I once told a joke where a genie makes a woman immortal because she doesn't want to die a virgin (I thought virgin meant you were single) to my mom, and my dad, and my at the time young sister, at dinner one night. I'm so bloody embarrassed.
@@itstimetoeat111sweet home alabama 💀
I once thought circumcision was the same as exorcism so i loudly yelled to my younger brother YOU NEED A CIRCUMCISION!!
ik its out of theme but,i like ur proflile pic
@@emerenciasansever WAH TYSM! I MADE IT MYSELF 😭🧡🧡
@@MaplePurrys np
but... did he need one?
@@Urmom1117-b8h
Unanesthesized circumsion would propaböy have shut him up
The way my mom described adultery to me when I was young was something to the effect of "it's when two people pretend to be married to each other when they're actually not." Pretty clever way of being vague about it while getting the point across in a way I would understand when I got older.
I once said “uptown fuck” in an elevator with almost all of my family members inside it because i thought it was apart of the lyrics “uptown funk” when i was like 5
Oh, so my younger brother isnt the only one to accidentally say that. Only for him it was while we were on our way to church 💀💀💀💀
That's kind of funny because when I was 6 I was visiting my mom and whenever I heard uptown funk play, I'd sit in the corner and go "uptown.. fuck it up." Didn't know what it meant.
I was in 5th grade the kids would be doing that on the bus, and I would just sit in the front put my earbuds in and listen to my little MP3 player
I said that too
“Uptown…f*ck you up. Uptown f*ck you up” 😭😭😭
When I was 8, my grandad asked what we'd been learning about in history, and I said "the Catholics and the Prostitutes"... 😮
What did you even mean? Puritans?
@@paperstrawsYT I think they meant Protestants
@@paperstrawsYT Protestants!
@@antlermagick Ohh that makes more sense LOL
Oh my gosh, I used to always use the wrong words and mix up these three terms:
- Persecute
- Prosecute
- Prostitute
I would say things like "we can't shoplift or else we will be persecuted" or "they prostituted them in court" and then be like "wait that's not the word"
when i was like 10 i thought a child predator was someone who ate children 💀
EATING MINORS WHOPPER WHOPPER
I mean
@@ThomasTheThermonuclearBomb he aint entirely wrong
Oh fuck no
I meaan
When I was in second grade me and friend were talking about Harry Potter. He called me a Gryffindork. I wanted to get him back so I called him a Slitherdick not knowing what it meant, I got in trouble. Looking back that was a good comeback though.
That is so perfect I refuse to believe it was not on purpose.
What does that mean
The existence of this entire video is a REALLY good argument for explaining to kids more clearly what words and phrases mean, and what contexts they are and are not appropriate to use in-
No that's a terrible idea. If you tell kids these words(like kids under 12) they will just use them no matter what you tell them about the words because they're trying to annoy you.
@@gappleofdiscord9752Nope. A lot of kids will experience cold horror at the very idea that they even accidentally said a 'bad word.' All depends on how they were raised and how much anxiety and perfectionism they have.
@@demo2823 I mean, a lot of kids will also do what the person you're responding to said they'd do.
@@gappleofdiscord9752 If you really believe kids would intentionally and willingly annoy their parents with something that might get them scolded or punished you've got it wrong.
A lot of kids want to avoid disappointing their parents more than anything else. Not necessarily by fear of angering them, just the idea of disapproval is enough to keep them behaving.
Paradoxically, it's when they grow up that they tend to want to challenge the authority of their parents. But alas that's a natural step in everyone's growth.
@@Zestieee Do you have kids?
on time in school i yelled out "TEAR OFF HIS FORESKIN" to a classmate after a teacher miss spoke
Isn't that circumcision?
WTF did I just witness
Whatever you meant it wasn’t good ☠️
Circumsion lore
I question what you even meant
When I was younger, I would tack "duh" onto the end of any sentence where I was telling a person something I thought was obvious. I used this at a theme park once when my mom asked which direction a certain ride was, and I confidently responded: "It's just over there, duh!" not realizing the rude connotation of that statement. After my mom yelled at me for saying it, I thought for the next several years that "duh" was a bad word and I would give people weird looks if they said it or if I heard it in a TV show. Took a while to realize that it wasn't inherently bad, it was just the way I used it that was rude.
When I was recklessly riding my little bike, I used to cheerfully yell out "watch where you're going!" at people as they scrambled out of the way
why would she yell at you instead of just telling you lmao
It's actually worse than you think. If you look at older media, like 60's to 80's, you'll realize 'duh' wasn't used like 'obviously' the way we associate it today.
It was a form of stutter to depict someone with an intellectual disability, specifically Down's syndrome. "I do like to eat this, duh!" would be a sentence you could find. An example would be if you read Asterix and the Secret Agent. The large redhead legionary speaks this way.
But then we had people using it sarcatically to mock you by stating that even a person with an intellectual disability would 'get it.' And this was a lot of people's first exposure to it. So it got popularised that way and family-friendlied to the point where Disgust from Inside Out says it. But there is even a moment where she uses it in the old way towards Anger, just before she puts on the soldering helmet.
@@notmalk_ She just thought I was being intentionally rude I guess
@@demo2823 It was definitely well past the era where it was used that way, but still very interesting.
When I was younger, my dad was taking me to Mexico, and told me we were just going there for tourism. The lady checking the tickets before we got on the plane asked me sweetly if I was excited to go to Mexico. I loudly exclaimed, "yes, we're going to do terrorism!!!!" Needless to say we did not get on that plane and we were escorted out of the airport.
It was right after 9/11 too. Like just a few months after.
I’ll still never forget that time I was watching titanic and in the scene where the ship hits the iceberg the lookout says “pick up you bastards!” And here I was, little innocent 8 year old me like a fucking parrot going *_”BASTARDS!”_*
LOL i remember being like 12 and listening to music from les mis while my little brother was in the room, and one song came on that has "bastard" in the lyrics and I was so scared that I was accidentally going to teach him a bad word (I didn't know what it meant, just that it wasn't nice) but because the singer's accent was so thick, my brother thought he said "boston" and it didn't even register
Made even worse by the fact that the word “bastard” is used multiple times in that movie. RIP your parents having to teach child you not to call anybody an unbelievable bastard 😭
ayyy echolalia gang rise up
@@strogonoffcore ECHOLALIA GANG WHERE YOU AT?!?!
This brought me back to the time when I was a kid and watched those pivot stickman animations and recreated them in comics with hamsters as the characters...once I saw an animation of a stickman being ran over and saying "YOU JUST RAN OVER ME YOU BASTARD" and I drew out the entire thing. And I showed it to my counselor at after school. 😁
"I used to drink out of a plunger" is a thought I will never get rid of
That one's the worst, like how did that kid not get sick?
Maybe they just didn’t need to plunge their toilet that often?
@@connorbeith3232 kids' immune systems are like superhuman...
@@connorbeith3232 he's used to it
I used to think condom was a name calling word like "annoying", so when my family went out to eat at Red Robin, my sister who was thinking about having a child. They were talking about condoms, i yelled angerly "I AM NOT A CONDOM" everybody started laughing. The worst part was that we were in a party table in the middle of everyone. I was 5 at the time
To be fair, they should not have expected anything good to come out of discussing condoms in front of a 5-year-old 😂
Funnily enough, the Russian word "гандон" is a swear that can be used as either an insult similar to "dickhead" or as a word for, well, condom
In russian there is a word that can either mean "condom" or be used as an insult similar to a$$hole in meaning
Wait you were 5 and your sister was getting ready to have a baby?
@@axelbelanger2981 Some sisters and brothers (from the same parents) can have a LOOOOT of age disparity. A friend of mine is the last in her family. She's 24. The youngest sister she has (right before her) is 40. I think one of her brothers must be around 54. Yup, your read well : that's a 30 years age disparity.
What happened ? Well, turns out her parents thought her mother was old enough to no longer be able to get pregnant... So they didn't use condoms. Well, fast forward 9 months and a very big surprise. 😅
And so my friend became an aunt at the age of 10, when her sister was 26.
When I was about six years old, I was at the grocery store with my parents and we were waiting in line at the register. The african american family in front of us had their toddler riding the conveyer belt, so I turned to my mom and said, "I thought slavery ended, why are they buying her?" I was met with cold silence and horrified stares from my family, the family in front of us, and the cashier.
Still cringe thinking about it
YIKES
A kid in my 8th grade class thought “fetish” meant obsession and ended up getting weird looks after trying to say he was obsessed with cats
💀💀💀💀💀💀
No bc why did my english teacher have fetish as vocabulary word and explain it JUST LIKE THAT "Having an affiliation for something/being obsessed with something" 😭 everyone in class was either disgusted or confused
The vocabulary videos we watched (and thus, my English teacher) taught us that definition...
Oh no, I was bound to find one I relate to eventually. One time, when I was 11, sneaking onto the internet, I posted in the middle of a forum community I was on that I had a "raven fetish" thinking it just meant that I was obsessed with ravens (they wrre my favourite bird at the time)... got a lot of concerned replies and had no idea why... nine years later I still want to evaporate thinking about it
That definition is somewhat true, but doesn't mention the sexual nature of the obsession lol
When i was about 4, I thought the word sexy meant beautiful.
So, when my mum was getting ready for a Christmas party and asked how she looks, i confidently said to her, "You look so sexy!"
My mum was horrified. My dad burst out laughing.
Sort of the same with me. I used to confuse it with sassy
I used that word inappropriately so many times because I used to think it just meant cool or something
Technically yes it does
Haha!!!
When I was 8 I thought the word sexy was a synonym for stupid.
Once when I was little, I heard my mum call my sister a "pisspot" because she was crying or something. I started yelling PISSPOT PISSPOT. My mom said that was a bad word I shouldn't say it, and I honestly thought she meant "pot" was the bad word. Started calling my sister a pissbaby instead
I can't stop laughing at comments like these, because I just imagine Matt Rose narrating them
@@naan000 The guy apparently read one of my tweets in the dream tweets video, it was kinda surreal
Yo for real though your mom shouldn't have said that to her kid..
~:~
@@harshmnr she said it in a loving way before my sister even gained a sense of conscientiousness
"pot you"
I thought the word "Queef" was a silly made up word. The look my parents gave me
my little brother, about ten, once was saying he gave great advice to his friends and joking that they should pay him for it. he then said, “i’m a friend with benefits!”
i immediately went “no. no. no. nope. no. nope”
I mean depending on how close the friend is he’s not wrong 😏
@@andrew_might_community_post
I WAS ONCE ASKED BY SOMEONE TO BE A FRIEND WITH BENEFITS WHEN I WAS IN 6TH GRADE
why did you immediately assume the worst? I literally didn't even think of that until I saw the first reply.
@@The-S-H3lf-Eater I mean that's what you call it if are having sex with someone who otherwise is a friend, but without being in a romantic relationship. "Friends with benefits".
One time in like fourth grade i saw some kids giving each other the middle finger and they said it was "the cuss sign." I thought it was cool and that night at dinner there was a lapse in the conversation so I just held up both middle fingers and innocently said "this is the cuss sign." THE ABSOLUTE CHAOS THAT ENSUED 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
The fact that you did that out of absolutely nowhere and presumably in the most casual tone too is hilarious
When I was in school there was a new kid from Nepal who didn't really understand UK customs when he first arrived so a kid in my class thought it would be funny to tell him that sticking up your middle finger was a way to say hello so he did that to a teacher
@@Brass319 I SAID IT SO CALMLY AND MATTER OF FACT LMFAOOOO
I got in trouble for flipping the double-bird in kindergarten.
I was singing "Where is Thumbkin" to myself. For those unfamiliar, it's a children's song to the tune of Frere Jacques where you hold up pairs of fingers, and yes, the gesture for the "tall man" verse is *exactly* what you think it is (incidentally, the song is *also* the context behind that one Mr Rogers picture.)
I got to that verse, had a teacher immediately run up and start yelling at me, and I didn't understand why I was getting in trouble for singing a song. After a long talking to, it was a *very* memorable way to find out that was an offensive gesture.
@@TheLegik1 This sounds like that old movie "Starman" with the alien coming to earth and thinking the middle finger was a polite way to say goodbye.
When I was 15, my school went on a field trip to an ice skating rink. Another student accidentally crashed into me and I ended up kneeing my crotch as I fell to the ground. As they were helping me back up, they asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, but I think I busted a nut." They started laughing so hard they let go of me and I fell down again. And that was the day I found out "busting a nut" didn't mean getting hit in the groin.
Tbh it makes sense for busting a nut to mean injuring your balls.
Damn, 15 is arguably late for that innit
@@Zestieee I was not a smart kid
How did you knee yourself in the crotch? That should be impossible.
im sorry im dying
I was hungry and I told my dad:
"Feed me, son of a bitch"
I thought it meant: "friend" 😐
When my great grandfather died, a ton of people were at his funeral. Everyone was talking about him, mourning him and crying. I (4) said “Everyone shut up, he’s sleeping.”
I had a similar experience with being young at a funeral. I was about 3 and my great grandfather had passed away. All I can remember about the funeral was chasing my cousin around and eating cookies. We had no idea why everybody was so sad...
LOL
Nice pfp
@@supersmashseandx1991 Thank you :)
That was weirdly hilarious,sad and wholesome
I used to think "being high" was just short for "being hyper" so whenever I felt excited I would tell people I was high.
To be fair ... that's totally legit language use.
Being high just means up, big energy, etc.
One time my friend asked me "How are you?" and I said "Hi". She started laughing, but I thought it was just because of my awkwardness, so I said "I'm very hi" and then I realized what I'd said
tbf that should be another use for it
@@dakotahrickard Nah... maybe in a song or poem, that would fly, but in normal everyday speech, when you say someone is "high", that clearly means on something...
One day in kindergarten art class I overheard the "naughty" group of boys whisper to each other "fuck" and then giggle. I thought it was a funny word, and decided to name the color I was making after it. So I then proceeded to parade around my brand new "fuck color" to everyone and eventually the teacher caught on and sent me to the office where I learned that it was a "no-no word"
I was walking in a small city with my parents and they were talking. I loudly asked "WHAT IS A "HICK"?" and a lady turn around to look at us while entering a bank and she ran into the door and fell over.
To put it simply, it’s what outsiders think I am, I live in the lower part of the Midwest where it’s largely rural with small towns scattered around. The funny thing is that both of my parents are from small towns, and I lived for 2 years of my childhood in a small town, but none of us were/are people you would consider hicks. To be fair, even I see people from my own state, sometimes my relatives, and think “Gosh, that dude seems like such a hick!” And then there’s the state/county fairs, where that’s the vibe of almost the whole thing, which I admittedly find incredibly silly.
@@TheYoungDreamer-v1t✍️✍️🔥🔥
The ultimate source of children's vulgar vernacular: road rage.
3:35 Little did this person know, they are still confused about chicken anatomy to this very day.
"Gobble" is a sound. The chicken-beard is a "wattle."
I just always called them “pancakes” never know where that came from
i just said goatee in the 1-2 times ive ever even had to refer to it
They can also be called combs. Just letting you know :3
@@YourSillySwampCritter The comb is the thing on top of the head, actually.
Ive always thought of them as red thingies.
the kiddo my mom babysits calls his tow trucks “hookers”. the look i gave my mom when he was innocently playing and suddenly started talking about his hookers was more shocked that i’ve ever been.
also, i used to get foreskin confused with forearm. that was fun learning the actual meaning long after i told my sister “is this your card? no? check under your foreskin” thinking it mean the skin on her forearm.
I used to think condom was an abbreviation of condominium. One day while we were in the town that my grandma lived, I'd asked if we were going to her condom.
I thought the N word meant someone who was really fast. Oh boy was it really hard trying to tell the teacher I called a kid the N word during tag because he was really fast...
@@TrojanCubingandFE2I still am sure hard R originally meant rtard and gen Z once again changed a slang word…
@@TrojanCubingandFE2Did your grandpa yell that word during a foot race? 💀
@@ChefReubon No, I was just searching through a bunch of song lyrics (i loved singing when i was really young) and encountered the N word somehow. I'll never live this memory down.
one more letter... you just had to drop *one more letter*!
When I was a kid I thought "self harm" meant to think bad about yourself, so I confessed to experiencing it at a church camp.
noooooo
@@pointseventhree Yeah, it was rough. They all put their hands on me and prayed for me, and I was just sitting there thinking "what have I done?"
I mean, thinking bad about yourself CONSTANTLY is a form of self harm i guess? 💀
@@Bruh-jz1se It wasn't even constant though it was pretty much just the amount of a normal person.
My parents taught me that "hate" was a swear word. Up until I was 10, whenever I was mad at someone, I would say "I really really don't like you" in the most vile, insidious voice i could muster. Then I had the audacity to wonder why people didn't take me seriously
❌ I hate you 😠
✅ Good sir, I must inform you that I thoroughly dislike you. I cannot, in any fathomable way, stand your presence. Begone, as I hereby require you to leave these premises at once.
When I was in elementary school there was this boy who thought "shut up" was a swear, so he would always say "shutta" and then even though no one asked he would go "I didn't say it! I didn't say the p!"
I was told "fart" was a bad word 😭😭😭 @@reharm_reality
The edgy Carly Rae Jepsen version? 🤔
When I was younger I was doing a pirate impression and I said “Curse you! Arrrr!” to my mom, cause I heard Doofensmirtz say it, and she was so mad at me that I thought it was a swear word for a little while.
I used to mix up Lebanese and lesbian as a kiddo. I knew a girl who was Lebanese and I saw her dating a guy and said “hey aren’t you Lebanese?” Never forgetting that very moment
Another time I wrote the word “shit” on my DS and showed it to my dad because I was so pleased with myself
“Look Dad, look what I spelt!”
@@C1-wz9jj yep that’s basically what I was like 🤣
@@jamiegriffith01 And how can you even be mad at a kid when they're so proud of their achievement?
@@ManFromThePits honestly he wasn’t even that mad, he finds it amusing to this day
@@jamiegriffith01 I would too, in his position! Of course I'd then gently correct the kid, but that wouldn't stop me from laughing.
One time, my mom tried to get me to search up "Donald Trump rule 34" because she'd heard on Facebook that it was about some law in one of the states about the number of felonies you can run for office with or something. I had to explain to her that she definitely did NOT want to see anything about Trump rule 34.
She doesn’t know about pr0n.
💀💀💀💀💀💀
If your mum starts a sentence with "I just saw this on Facebook" ignore her
Your mom knew what she was doing
@@isoceptic In all fairness, she told me she thought it was going to be a rickroll type thing and she just didn't know what R34 was😂
I recall earnestly trying to convince my friends that while ‘shit’ may be a bad and naughty word, ‘bullshit’ was perfectly fine. No idea how that came about.
to be fair, I think "ass" is more of a naughty word than "badass" so there's precedent
@@electra_ I'm not native English (/ don't live in a English speaking country), and at a family dinner, I once said "It's badass" (because I heard it on TH-cam).
I immediately regretted what I just said, because the whole family spent like 10 minutes, around the word badass, figuring out what it could mean (they knew).
I do remember my parents would let me say bullshit and badass and not just shit and ass lol
Actually I think that's perfectly normal tbh
@@DefinitelySpirit Nah bro, cause they went like "Mhh, so an ass, that is bad..."
when I was a kid, I thought 'masturbation' was a political term, like an office you ran for or a title or something. well it was an election year and I decided to ask my dad "so, what's with the masturbation?"
I told my 88 year old great grandma that she will die soon when I was 6. She did at least live another 10 years.
My brother made a "things older than Zadie (dad's dad)" birthday card when he was little. My grandfather (may God rest his soul) lived until his 80's
Well you can't become a fortune teller, but there's a lot of other careers to go for.
Damn
This is actually really normal and common for kids that age. Death is a new concept and knowing old people die sooner is part of the whole realisation. Hopefully grandma wasn't upset, as a negative reaction can really affect the persons relationship with death.
@@daynamorris2399 zeyde? the Yiddish word for grandpa.
English is not my first language.Way back in elementary school we had to do a verbal presentation on our family and I proceeded to call my grand-father ret*rded.
Retired.The word i was looking for was retired.
Oh no
ohhh god that's the one time i'll pass off someone saying a slur lmao
This same fucking thing happened to me when I played F-Zero GX and died. I then thought "no wonder this game is rated T, it said 'retarded'". I only knew the word because my late older brother and my other older brother would call each other retarded all the time.
It said "retired"
As an autistic person…..
*that’s absolutely hilarious🤣*
ohhh noo
The worst thing I ever did in my entire life was explain what a thirst trap is to my dad
*good lord I have never felt so sorry for anyone*
one time my girlfriend asked if she could make one of me
I just had to explain what Rule 34 was to my parents.. I can understand what you went through
"I thought a brothel was a soup kitchen" 🤣🤣 I mean, good guess though.
"Rat hymen" LMAO I love it
When I was a kid I had a striped fish I wanted to name a cross between “Nemo” and “Tigger”. My parents vetoed my idea
*I’M DYING*
💀
I hope it was Timo, I HOPE IT WAS TIMO.
@@Vanta526 Temu the fish. Wait, why is it drowning?
Jesus
You think mistaking “brothel” for a soup kitchen is bad? I thought it was a NUNNERY…
If you think about it, a nunnery is pretty much a harem for god
@@Eureka-1234Great, I'm never gonna forget this ever
same
I THOUGHT A BROTHEL WAS A BAR 😭
I mean, Nunnery was slang for one in Shakespear's time, so there's that.
I USED TO CONFUSE DIARY AND DIARRHEA TOO!!! I always told everyone my favorite book was “diarrhea of a wimpy kid”💀💀💀
That’s so FLIPPING FUnNY😂
IM CACKLING 😭
bruh💀
Something's getting in the way.
Something's just about to break.
I will try to find my place in the diarrhea of Jane.
I told my dad in a car ride we’re gonna watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid and my half sister probably 3 or 4 at the time piped up with “wE’Re waTcHiNg DiArRhea?!”
Thought circumcision meant cybernetic or half machine, so when i heard it in a video, i just thought 'woah! He's circumcised? That's radical!'
I never heard the word until I was in like 9th grate at the earliest, thank god, but even before then, I knew about the practice because, duh, guy things, and I had to learn about it from my parents sooner or later! They told me I was pure chaos during mine.
When i was a kid i once got really upset from being stressed all day because i swore at school, i was scared I'd be in trouble, when questioned by my mum i revealed I'd said "flipping".
She never lets me live that one down
Nah so when I used to go Christmas shopping, I called those things you use to hook the ornaments on to the tree “hookers”. So cue me in the store yelling, “DAD, LETS GET SOME HOOKERS TO TAKE HOME!”
Hahaha!!!
AND imagine your dad agreeing with you.
@@EnviroBen LOL
@@EnviroBen LOL!
This is the most thugass gangster shit I have ever read
Oh no, the OP of that last one. The sheer horror and regret of doing that for YEARS must have been immeasurable
I didn’t even experience it and yet I wanna gouge my ears out
They probably died of disgust moments later
@@UnreliableistYTim gagging here as well
Ultimate Skull Emoji time
@@Roundhay2718 That sounds like a potential Matt Rose video title…
The absolute worst case of this was me hearing “slapping a lady’s butt with a wink is a compliment” off of family guy and I did it to my mother when she was upset about her grandmother dying. I sincerely thought it would cheer her up. Mind you I was like 5 at the time. She immediately went to my father to yell around him about letting me watch family guy with him. I vaguely remember doing this to a classmate before this too. I cringe so hard whenever I’m cursed to remember it
I used to confuse "ketamine" with "dopamine" at, like, age 9.
While talking about something I enjoyed, I said "This is just pure ketamine to me." or something along those lines.
Curiously enough, nobody questioned this until I figured it out on my own, at which point I never made mention of ketamine (or dopamine, just to be safe) again.
I mean it's a bit weird of a word choice, but I mean ketamine is a pain-killer, so maybe they thought you were saying that?
@@Jupiter-T Fair point. Looking back, it was either this, or they just happened to not listen whenever I said it lol
Made up a language with my best friend as a kid. Had different iterations of the same letter to mean different things, and three versions of the letter meant “I love you”.
It was the letter “K”.
Imagine you're walking by and you hear 2 kids say "KKK"
“kkk bbg” “kkk too
And then imagine that someone reported them to the teacher thinking that they were plotting to start a KKK like group 😂 Oh no
As 5ish year old kid I watched videos of the “condom challenge” on TH-cam and excitedly went to my family, telling them to buy me condoms. No more TH-cam for 7 years.
thank god your parents are responsible
what even is that?
@TechTactics4253 I don't know either but I'm recalling a vague memory of when people used to put a condom over their head online
@@TechTactics4253i think it was when people would make fake used condoms and leave them around their partners? (with like soap and stuff) but that might have been something else
When I was around 12, I remember wondering how many unknowing kids we're inspired to ask their parents to buy condoms because of condom challenges by Guava Juice and Marlin, so now I know at least one person did that lol. (side note: is it common for 12-year-olds to know what a condom is?)
So when I was younger I was in love with Clash of Clans (or as people called it, COC). I think you know where this one is going. One time, when watching my sister’s dance practice, I started talking about how I loved COC… my mom was very concerned.
💀white powder?
I used to think abortion meant to un-adopt a child you adopted and while playing a Roblox game where you could adopt babies I asked my dad “if there is an adoption center why isn’t there an abortion center?” The funniest part was that his reaction was just “I didn’t know you knew that word.”
"late abortion" is certainly a way to un-adopt a child
There’s an entire book trilogy with this plot
@@justnoddy8856 *"abortion" is certainly a way to un-adopt a child
Fixed it.
I mean…clinics do exist!
@@daynamorris2399 are you talking about unwind
When I was a kid, I thought "sleeping with someone" meant for two people to just sleep in the same bed together. When I went over to my mum's house once, my brother, mum, and step-dad were all there. I just stated, "I slept with my dad last night." They all laughed so hard.
I was like that
That's what it should mean, because not everyone goes to sleep right after bedroom exercises.
Me too 😭🙏
Well, that gives a whole new meaning to “Mommy, I wanna sleep with my teddy bear tonight!”
@@Peppermint_PuffI have memories of associating the phrase “to blow off” with “blowjob” and “to suck off”. 😂 I was a reasonably mature teenager when that happened.
When I was about 10, my family took a road trip. It took 4 days of driving all day to get to our destination and 4 days to get back, and by the third day, my parents were stressed (and I can say with 100% certainty that me and my 6 year old brother asking “when will we get home” every 10 minutes didn’t help). At some point, our gps wasn’t cooperating, and my mom was frustrated with just about anything that dared catch her notice. While she was trying to figure out where she was going, a train kept blowing its horn, and finally, she snapped and yelled “Where even is that fricking train!”
My innocent little brother helpfully informed her that “the fricking train is over there mom!”
I wasn’t old enough to know what that meant yet, but my brain decided to join my dad’s descent into laughter, and now that moment is forever carved into my memories.
ALASTOR PFP (ignore my pfp and acc i havent used this account for like 2 years)🤩
When I was a kid, I confused "ignored" and "annoyed" a lot. So my parents would be confused when I was upset that my brother ignored me and then proceeded to describe the exact opposite.
When I was younger, I saw the phrase "I have feelings for you" on a TH-cam video back in the day. Sometime soon, I told my mom that I had "feelings for her" I used to think it was a way of telling someone you love them in a PLATONIC way.
Narrator: The feeling was friendship, but he didn't know that at the time.
Lmao signs of someone being ace be like
@@DefinitelySpirit Funny thing is I'm actually ace
@@pwneddotcom2 I'm a genius..
@@pwneddotcom2 when did you realise you were ace (sorry if that's being nosy)
When I was 9 or so, I got one of those weird teenage girl books for Christmas from a family member. The sort of book that had personality quizzes, best haircut for face your face shape, compatibility with other star signs, what colours suit you, shopping advice etc. It also contained activities for a sleepover. A year later I finally had my first sleepover and was so excited to do the things I'd read about in this book. I brought my book along to do the activities with my friends. I started out with the introduction quiz filling in our names, favourite colour etc. Then as any teenage girl book thing does, it asked 'who is your crush?'. I oh innocent child had never heard this word before and asked my friends what it meant. They laughed at me and then described it as 'a boy you love'. Well my (as it turns out) ace arse was baffled by this statement. I mean, what boys could one possibly love. There seemed to be only one option for me. "Well... I love my dad!" Naturally my friends laughed at me again, but I thought it was just cause it was a dorky thing to say. The next night I told my dad I had a crush on him thinking he'd be pleased💀
He put on a stern face and said "don't say that" with no explanation. I wouldn't find out what the word actually meant until I was 13😭
AWWWWWWWWWW.
I'm so sorry that happened to you.
I hope I never accidentally shut my littles down like that.
Also, that's seriously super cute.
You deserve hugs.
@@amadandearbhte4318 You go be a wonderful ace. ❤
That was really cute lol
Dude it sucks when parents get mad at you and they don't explain it, like, dude, explain it, it's not too inappropriate for you to explain
Also comment gives off sweet vibes
Aww that's so sweet lol, well.. most of it. Yeah I'm noticing a trend with this comment section and people being ace and not realizing something like this lol
One time in 6th grade me and my friend were doing a presentation on lebanon and one of the slides said ¨top ten most famous lebanese people" my friend said "top ten most famous lesbian people¨ that same friend also said terrorism was one of the biggest sources of income for kenya instead of tourism
Lesbian? I thought you were American? ????
@@Jupiter-T i am but we had to pick a country from africa for the project
@@TheBoisUnite Oh it's just a vine reference lol, sorry
@@Jupiter-T a goated vine reference
@@TheBoisUnitebut isn't Lebanon in Asia?
8:01 I also used to mix these up, but I also mixed them up with “taurus” as in the zodiac sign. So I was like 7-8 going around telling people my mom was a terrorist….
HELP LMAOOOOOO
the last one is just actual three sentence horror bruh
what is that
@@yayvidsa horror story that's 3 sentences long...?
@@mxrdersimulator OHH I thought you were making a reference to something else
When I was in 4th grade, I heard one boy crying to the teacher that some older students had called him gay. I was confused, cause I thought it meant happy and so I decided to test it out at home. My older sibling was in a good mood and so I said, “You’re so gay.” Which prompted them to burst into tears and run to their room. My (very traditional) parents refused to tell me what it meant and 10 years later my older sibling and I talked about it again. THEY WERE IN TROUBLE AT SCHOOL FOR KISSING A GIRL AND BEING RELENTLESSLY BULLIED AND THEY THOUGHT I KNEW AND WAS BULLYING THEM TOO 😭😭😭😭😭 WORST TIMING EVER
Noooooo 😭😭 I hope your sibling is ok
Your parents are bad 🙃
Gay does actually mean happy or merry, but it isn't really used in that context any more. You can still find it meaning "happy" in older literature like Black Beauty (I think I remember learning that meaning of "gay" from that book)
I'm so so sorry! I hope they are okay now. I also hope that they are healing from the weight of your parents views. Much love.
Wow that is just... yeah, that's about the worst timing for saying that, ever. But hopefully she knows now that you were just an oblivious kid with terrible timing? I hope she's able to live more freely now
The teacher who received the "rest in piece" card must have had a good laugh 😂
When I was little and loved undertale, I saw an undertale comic dub that had Sans and Toriel in it. I'm pretty sure she asked him what chips he wanted at the store and he said "Doritos, slut." And I thought it was SO funny. So the next time me and my mom were at the store, she asked me what chips I wanted, and I recalled that funny comic. And you know what little me said? "Doritos, slut." In the middle of the store, with multiple people behind me. As a small child. Yeah, she wasn't very pleased. I didn't even want doritos
Least in-character sans take wow
"Mom, we're out of apples, so don't blame me for getting tired"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, how am I supposed to stay awake without having any condoms to eat?" 💀 💀 💀
To be honest even knowing the right word wouldn't have saved them here.
Instead they'd just be talking about eating batteries.
I mean, battery makes metaphorical sense in that sitch. Condom is just weird. "Yes, pick up apples, for I need to eat condoms to recharge." @@mrfrog0913
What?! 😂 I don't understand what you were trying to say!
@@NoriMori1992Watch the video
im so glad that i didnt actually say this, but in like 5th or 6th class my teacher asked us to name all the emotions we knew, so i raised my hand up SO confidently with an emotion in mind that i thought was really clever. it was LUST.
That IS clever lol
"I'm haunted" is objectively better than "I'm horny."
6:56
The version for Samara Of The Ring
XD
laura les
Haunted by the h0rny.
I thought clit was a type of bug (I don't know how I came to that conclusion) and one day when my mom and I were eating lunch on the porch, there was a bug on the screen. My 8 year old self says, "Is that a fly or a clit?"