Mama Mary's Lectures | Eliminating Drama From Your Life (Not ASMR)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ส.ค. 2024
- NOTE: I ramble a bit at the beginning. The "lecture" begins around the 11:30 mark.
Several people have requested another one of my "Mama Mary's Lectures," so here we have it. Today, we'll be talking about drama, and how to take steps to remove it from your life.
Links:
Angry Cops / Basement Jesus / This Old Crack House: • "That's Not Good" - Ep...
Ten Red Flags Indicating Narcissism: • TEN RED FLAGS INDICATI...
Eight Indicators of Narcissism: • Eight Indicators of Na...
Covert Narcissism - Control With A Sly Twist: • Covert Narcissism: Con...
Narcissism Channels:
Surviving Narcissism: / @survivingnarcissism
Michele Lee Nieves Coaching: / @fromsurvivingtothriving
Doctor Ramani: / doctorramandurvasula
Dr. Todd Grande: / riogrande51
Kati Morton: / katimorton
Melanie Tonia Evans: / melanietoniaevans
Angie Atkinson: / authorangelaatkinson
Eliminating drama from your life:
Eliminate it. I used to have a lot of friends in high school, lots of drama. I cut everybody out to focus on myself and guess what, no drama.
I’m happier now with 0 friends than I was when I had 30+ friends
It’s not about finding your “ride or die” buddies or whatever. At the end of the day, it’s your life. You need to do what benefits you. Is that selfish? Absolutely. But who cares? You’re not hurting anybody, you’re making decisions for your own benefit and making yourself happier. If you need to have people to talk to, that’s cool, just eliminate the drama and don’t be apologetic.
I’m strange, I don’t need to talk to people lmao. People are freaking out because of quarantine. I’ve BEEN living like this. No socialization, just working on my studies, getting work done. No need for government to keep my in my house, I will voluntarily do that lmao
But the majority of people need some form of in-person human interaction, friends, and what not. People like me are in the minority lmao we don’t need anything other than ourselves. In fact, we’re happier alone. We are the most self-isolating introverted introverts lmao
It’s good to hear that I’m not the only person happier than ever during a pandemic. Working AND hanging out in my nest all day has been my dream. It’s not all ideal but my mental health has been much better and I’m savoring every minute.
I'm an introvert we (my husband, baby, and I) have been living with friends and their two kids. It was okayish before and now everyone is home all the time. I hate it.
This is literally me
I could not agree more! I had SO much drama when I was younger (15 now) and I know it doesn’t sound that old but I was dealing with drama every single day. It was so tiring and I eventually snapped and basically went crazy and lost all of my friends. That caused me extreme depression and anxiety from feeling like people hated me and were judging me, but it was still the best decision I ever made. That was 3 years ago and now I’m extremely happy. I kept one friend from that group just because we were close and I didn’t want to cut her off because of her own mental health issues. I made new friends and found my best friend of 2 years now and I haven’t had drama since. The friend that I kept was eventually cut out of my life because she turned to drugs and was constantly in drama when we went to highschool. I hated having drama. I didn’t realize how much I hated it until it was gone. Now if I get into drama, which is inevitable, I just tell people I do not want to argue or I do not want any drama. A lot of people actually respect that and will leave me alone unless I’m the one that started it. Everyone, I know it’s hard and it feels mean to kick people out of your life but sometimes it’s the best thing that you can do for yourself.
You realize that you are interecting with people now? 😀
This still gives me ASMR lol
Caitlin Manning me too
Totally
Yep, same here! 🤣 I knew it would as soon as I saw the title, even though it says “Not ASMR” 😂😇
“It’s none of your business what someone else thinks of you” that’s something I need to internalize. It’s so true
A Palmer This has been important lesson for me to learn, too. I find it gets easier as I get older.
Well it is ..but they are wrong. :P
I love when you make videos like this. Not everyone has the best role models or support system so hearing your advice is really special. Thanks for spreading such honest and helpful information
When I met my husband he was living in Oak Island North Carolina. We were in the car waiting to get on the ferry and I put a Cheeto on top of the car and seagulls were fighting over it. It was so funny! Olive is a really cute name! All of my Kitties have nicknames.
I have gotten 2 sayings that have helped me are
"You don't have to attend every fight you are invited to."
And
"It's not your business what other people think about you."
Yesss, my favorite quote is ‘What other people think of you is none of your business.’ 💛
Hello neighbor! (If you're still there)
I do enjoy a good fight tho, I’ve gotten very good with my verbal jujitsu skills lmao
Coming from someone with a mother who abandoned her as a small kiddo and a Dad that has one foot in and one foot out, this is really helpful. I look forward to these chit chats with mama Mary. I’m just a 30 year old gal trying to make the best of what I’ve got and I’m always looking for trustworthy people to give me insight into what’s up ahead. Thank you for this, I really appreciated it.
I think the idea of "stay in contact with family no matter what" is very Southern concept and I wish it would go away because it would keep a lot of "bless your hearts" from being said lol
I definitely think it’s better to cut some family off
This is such a wonderful message. Once I learned about boundaries my life got so much better. When I was younger I spent so much time thinking about how I could change people. Now? I never do that anymore. Life is good. Thank you so much for this video. 🤎
I was just going to say your hair looks cool like that. 😂
Really does.
Ariane caskey it does! Then she started talking about it and I was like... ohhhhh
A while ago you made a similar video on advice you would give your younger self. One of the things you mentioned was "If you're on time, you're late." - that line really got stuck in my head and every time I was running late to uni or somewhere else, it would pop up in my mind and make me walk just a little faster. The advice you give is so full of character, I love it - Thank you!
Girl, I got a sample of that stuff and felt like I was walking on broken glass the rest of my shower. My hair was a hot mess after trying just a little bit of it too. It’s expensive so I just ended up using the rest as like a body scrub so I wouldn’t waste it. 🤷🏻♀️ I had the exact same experience. Weird stuff!
Your French accent was surprisingly on point. You are welcome any time here in France, Mary! Plus, I live in Bordeaux, so I can also guaranty you good wine if you want. Bring Charity too, I'm sure she'll enjoy it haha. Take care!
The mall reference was truly iconic! 😂😂
I'm still getting messages from confused people asking me how I'm still making videos.
It could work as a foot scrub 🤣
I could probably use it to clean my driveway.
Gurl...I’m loving your hair!
...and comparing it to motorcycle hair? Mary is a rebel. She’s awesome!
Just started watching but wanted to comment that your hair looks amazing. It’s grown so long!
ETA: just left this comment as you stated to talk about your hair 😆
Melissa Rose ASMR right that’s what I thought too! I was like cool then I got more in the video
Your hair is so pretty
Thank you!
I was taught by you on one of your videos the saying “pay you no mind to others. “ this has helped me with my thoughts and self care. ❤️💙💚
I love whenever she says “my theoretical friend” 😂😂👏🏼
I love those videos ! Please make it a series. So much wisdom, help and a new perspective to so many people. Thank you,Mary! So so much
I’m going through separation, and my spouse is being very difficult. I have been looking for ways to deal by listening to counseling sites, and I have to say, this has been most helpful to me. Thanks, Mary!
Its funny you say that because the first thing I thought when I saw the thumbnail for this video was “wow her hair looks nice”. Let us know if you find a good haircare routine/products because I have the same issues... my hair is very thin and I’m in my 20s.
I was literally thinking the same thing when I clicked on this video. Mary's hair looks really nice here.
Usually I am not a rolemodel person, but you, dear Mary, are a rolemodel for me. Thank you so much for this video! It resonated deeply within me.
You know what I hit the button to watch it. Instantly thought wow your hair are amazing . Pretty so much volume and sitting there so pretty. Then I hear you saying you aren’t pleased with it today. I’m like whaaatttt? So pretty!
Quite a few months ago I was watching one of your videos where you were talking about dealing with a narcissist. I searched for some TH-cam videos about it and came across the Surviving Narcissism channel. I have watched a lot of the videos on that channel since then and it has helped me SO MUCH in dealing with the covert NPD person in my life. I HIGHLY recommend the Surviving Narcissism channel! Dr. Carter is great (and Laura, too) and, yes, Gus makes some appearances as well. 🐶
So thank you for talking about your experience with a narcissist which in turn got me to subscribe to that channel which has helped me so much! Thank you!! 💙
I can’t tell you how much this helped me ! For a while I’ve been feeling like all I have in my life is constant drama and turmoil but you’ve really opened my eyes up to some of the causes that I had never even considered before! I’m definitely going to show my friend this who I know would benefit from this video! Thank you so much ! 😊
Omg Mary! I love this so much. You are so level-headed, poised and classy! You would be the most amazing person to have in one's life and anyone who has you in their life is so incredibly lucky! 💕
I absolutely love this series! She shoots straight, but always with warmth and empathy. Mary, I would love to see a video like this where you talk about how to build self-confidence, especially as a young adult. Much love from the Midwest!
I’ve got a long drive ahead of me so this is perfect timing!! Thanks mama Mary!! ✨❤️
Rachell I’d be asleep at the wheel listening to this on a long drive. Mary’s voice is super relaxing!
Jhadae C. Her voice really helps me with my anxiety! I absolutely hate driving at night. This video was a huge help!!! ❤️❤️
Very sound advice Mary!!! I can’t handle any drama anymore. Especially the older I get it isn’t worth my time to try and deal with certain people. I do the gray rock technique. I didn’t know it had a name. But it totally works! Great video thank u!
I love these Mary. I've been wanting to request a video like this about being independent. I'm getting a divorce and now learning to do everything around my home for myself. My husband would never show me all the stuff he did. I didn't know to change my air conditioning filter until my dad just told me. I want to do these things and not have to call anybody. Its embarrassing
Thank you for your kind words. It's hard not to react. I have to learn it.
"Christopher robin from Winnie the Pooh but not really" I love this lady
I wish I had a mom like you . So wise so pure thank you I love your mama mary talks and your ASMR ☺️thank you for doing what you do ! You've been helping me for years
You look very pretty Mary wish I could do that so it would be quiet here peace and quiet would be great you're the best 🌹💝😴
YES!! I love your Momma Mary Lectures!! I was watching an older one a few days ago and wishing for another one!! Thank you!!! ♥️♥️♥️
I needed this! There’s always drama in my life and I have to deal with and I try to stay calm throughout! ❤️
One thing my mom always used to ask me when I was a teenager or even now when there are things that feel overwhelming is, “will this matter next week, next month, or next year?” Like you said Mary, perspective is everything.
You can only do the best you can with emotional mental resources you have in the moment.
Watch out for manipulative people, and eliminate them from your life as best you can. Boundaries are important!
Sadly my mom reminds me a lot of joy from my name is earl, or the facebook friend. Especially the facebook friend. She has borderline personality disorder. I had to move to another state and see how "normal" people act for me to realize how dramatic she is. Hard to talk to most of the time. Which is sad for me.
Edit: just want to clarify that we love eachother, our relationship is just rocky.
@@cecilyerker oh yes, I learned a lot after moving out lol now that I think about it, she probably didn't teach me any basic life skills on purpose so that i wouldn't "abandon" her. I'm doing ok now but still screwed up emotionally. I like Dr. Todd Grande's videos on BL mother-daughter relationships.
thank you mary this video was amazing to listen to ❤️
Mary you are my SOUL SISTER! “No Contact” “Flying Monkey” ...Girl you’ve dealt with narcissism. I just can’t believe it every single time I watch a new video of yours I find something else we have in common. It just blows my mind. I call you my sister from another Mister 💜
The bird probably didn’t like your hair! Lol
I'll be honest, it'd make good nest material right now. Maybe that's what it wanted.
Wow, shows what I know. The first thing I thought when this video started was how good your hair looked. 🤷🏻♂️
Your are so right. When I ignored all the drama at work and not get sucked in it goes much smoother
Everyone needs this down in the South fr 😅
I'm really a fan of your Mama Mary's Lecture series. I always listen to your how to overcome adversity which is really helpful for me. 😊
Recently I stumbled upon a video you made of your walkthrough of Li Ming's Global Mart and you are so funny. I love it! so. You have such a wonderful sense of humor. The kind that I have not been around in so long. I hope I can get to know you as a person, as a friend. Hi, my name is Kris 😂
The title saids (not Asmr) but I'm still getting asmr anyway lol. You just got a naturally relaxing voice.
Mama Mary coming with the advice we didn’t know we needed! You say a lot of comes from the way you’re raised... for me that’s the damn truth. My family is bat shit crazy.
Mama Mary 💛💛💛 i love love love. Also, “my hair is not speaking to me today”. I’m going to start saying that lol
Starlings are very protective of their nests. I've been dive bombed by them more then once. Don't worry about them the parents will take control! I love that you named your kitten Olive, that was my husband's mom's name. Love your videos.
Thank you Mama Mary ❤️
Thank you for this Mary. I actually eliminated drama from my life over a year ago. Unfortunately (or fortunately, whichever way you look at it) it was my family. And I am now drama free. And your hair may feel awful but it looks fabulous!
I can't believe you're talking about narcs!! I was just thinking yesterday that I wish you'd make videos about narcs. It must be epidemic these days. I have a RAGING, SCREAMING narc in my life who hates peace and tranquility.
I love listening to Mama Mary!!! TFS!!! 💕
Very excellent advise for us humans. 🧡
Sea salt is so drying to hair. I tried a sea salt shampoo bar from Lush once and it was horrible. Use a hair mask and then shampoo and condition twice. Should be good to go
I reallly really needed this today, thank you Mary. ❤
This is giving me so many tingles, it's the perfect asmr for me :) thank you
Excellent topic and presentation, Mary. 💕
Omg at least your hair looks great! That is literally the first thing I thought of when I saw this video. You have no idea how much I've missed your shop walk troughs - I was so happy about the Dollar Tree video. 😍
Love me some mama Mary 😂
I live for these videos!!
And you crack me up & make me laugh 😆
I think your hair looks great!!
I do enjoy your content so much!...Peace to you Earth...
even if it’s not asmr i still get tingles from her...
Love these videos ❤️
Oh man tangles are awful! That whole situation sounds like a nightmare. Surprising considering it was a fancy Winnie the Pooh product hahaha Christopher Robin you crack me up! I agree you should toss that stuff. I hope you were able to get your hair back to normal. If it makes you feel any better, I think your hair looks really nice in this video.
Hi Mary! Loved this video! Could you maybe do a lecture on confidence and overcoming insecurities? Again, lovely video and amazing advice!!
Yes.
This.
Pay attention to what she’s saying.
I eliminated drama from my life a few years ago. One main person was the cause. Hard as it was, I had to disconnect from her. Real life “drama” is plenty for me. Job, bills, health issues, family, relationships. All a part of life and typically situational.
But “manufactured” drama - NO THANKS.
Want to live in peace? Eliminate it. I have a few close friends. They too hate drama. It works so well.
Thank you for this Mary!
Basement Jesus Approves. ❤️
Wise words of wisdom Mary.
I needed to hear this. Thank you
😂I thought wow, Mary’s hair looks great, she must have an underground hairdresser during lockdown. Shows I know nothing. Thank you for another great production.
I know you probably have a ton of requests/video ideas that you are planning to do already, but if you get the time and feel inclined please do a Mama Mary Lecture on advice for going to college/ moving away from home. I am going to college this fall and am so excited but am getting a little anxious. Thanks for all the amazing videos you do, Mary! You’re the best!😊
Maybe you're the eye of the drama hurricane
I know too many people like this, so on point!
A seagull crapped on my head, every one said it was lucky. On the way home the bike I was on earlier crashed. However I had decided to change bikes. It was lucky. Sorry about your hair. Hopefully you won't get divebombed by those birds! No drama! X
You say that it's not ASMR but I think as soon as you start speaking I get tingle's
Coconut oil will help, Mama Mary. Saturate it, let it sit for 30 mins, shampoo out. 🖤
I used a Pantene deep conditioning treatment on it last night, and it's fine today.
SouthernASMR Sounds Oh good! Glad to hear it!
Hell yeah tell em!!!
Housewives of Beverly Hills, Atlanta, New York and Housewives of Facebook suggests a faction of people love drama and even better with an audience and the Facebook forum provides for this. It takes all kinds to make a world. Hurt people hurt people. Lots of good info you provided Mary.
I wanted to ask if you perhaps could do a video about dealing with verbally abusive/manipulative people in your family/life you can't get distance to, because life circumstances.
I understand if you don't want to ofc ;v;
I always love your view on things and advice. Keep doing you!
💖
Not Asmr? Your not asmr videos are asmr videos anyways. I put it on to listen as is a interesting subject and falling asleep every time. Love you Mary!
Thank you, Mary 💜
your voice is so calming my friend 😊
We haven't gotten a lecture in a while! I get ASMR from these videos all the same honestly.
I highly recommend watching Jaime Primak Sullivan's #cawfeetawk. There was one video (out of many) where she talked about how to deal with a narcissist. In short, if someone tries to get a reaction out of you and you can't get away from them, say "Your attempt to get a negative reaction out of me has been noted." Then you walk away. Say nothing else. There's more to it, but I remember that particular saying. This video is a great reminder on dealing with drama.
I also love when you talked about cutting toxic family members from your life. My dad is VERY toxic. It was difficult, but for my own peace I limit interacting with him.
I love it 😂💖💖 keep being u ur awesome 😘
As someone born in NC and raised in southern Virginia where i live now with my wife, it’s nice to hear a familiar accent as we’ve been pretty strict with social distancing (underlying health issues).
Yes! Love the angry cops\basement Jesus reference. Your hair looks fine btw💆
Thank you Mary
Mary your hair looks so pretty like this. I starting typing this before you mentioned about your hair. It looks great like beachy waves.
THANK U FOR THIS VIDEO AND ALL URE VIDEOS❤
Mary I just want to tell you how much this video series has helped me. I have learned so much about life that I’m eternally grateful for. Thank you for making the world, and my world a better place. I really appreciate you
You are so welcome!
Ooh ready to receive some wisdom
great video. olive is such a good name btw.
I go to bed with wet hair too, lol, thought I was the only one!
❤
This video had a lot of good information.
oh I hear you. we were raised proper...my parents were good. sometimes it is just there and not upbringing. I had no choice but to get rid of a sibling in my life. she thrives off drama...lives for it.....arguing and fighting the whole 9 yards. ordinarily I forgive a lot but she tried to involve my son and hes just a kid. since I removed it...I sleep better...no headaches..way less stress etc
I subbed to Angry Cops. I have to see this through! Very interesting