For anyone who needs a TW timeskip: 13:58 is when the TW ends. Thank you all so much for sharing this experience. Hearing that you tried to get help and there were alters who actively sabatoged your attempts has changed my worldview on mental health and this disorder. I'm still processing the information you all have given me, so I don't know how put into words how it's changed yet. But I wanted to thank you for sharing it all the same.
Agreed, would love to see more education and personal experience with the disorder, would watch this channel religiously when Chloe was doing the educational/awareness videos.
Note for Americans - in the US a dissociative seizure is called Psychogenic Non-epileptic Seizure (PNES) or Psychogenic Non-epileptic Attack (PNEA). They used to be called pseudoseizures. It is the same exact thing. Just wanted to make note of this because the term dissociative seizures isn't commonly used here, we'd recognize it as PNES or the outdated pseudoseizures. NES, or Non-epileptic seizures, includes all types of seizures (not just psychogenic) that are not due to electrical activity in the brain: such as a heart condition, encephalitis, emotional distress, high fever, infection, car accident, metabolic disorders, etc.
Thanks for clarifying :) I suffer from PNES and I’m American. It’s my first time hearing PNES/PNEA be called a dissociative seizure. I didn’t even know that these types of seizures were related to dissociation, but it makes sense. I personally refer PNES to stress seizures
Oh, thanks for this! It makes sense. I had "pseudoseizures" for some time and it was due to trauma but I never rlly understood them beyond just knowing they just kinda happen and then it's over 🤷🏻♀
thanks for this info!! this may actually be what i have too; i had a big seizure back in 2019 (and several smaller ones surrounding it) that sent me to the hospital, and we were never able to find out what was causing them. i was in a stressful work environment, but figured it was just some sort of epilepsy rooted in my autism since those tend to be connected. i'm glad kya brought up theirs! now i have a WAY better descriptor! PNES is so much easier than saying "undetermined form of epilepsy", lmao.
@@marieso2293If you don't mind, could you tell me a little about those? I have had, to date, 8 occurrences that FEEL and seem "seizure-like" to me & everyone around me. They are few and far between but are odd and uncontrollable, which adds an element of fear for driving or being ANYWHERE alone.
@@kyssedbyfyre915 i start choking on my breath. Like Im not able to breathe smoothly. Then I start shaking with my chest leading the shake. Like it jerks up without me helping it with my arms or legs. Then my head starts slamming against the pillow over and over again. I dont think my arms and legs flail around or maybe they do but im not very aware of it. My eyes also get blurry and go up my head. Im fine after. Generally only happens on my bed. And I can kinda feel it before it happens. Like there's a tension that I feel right before it happens. Also happened once when I was very triggered in a psychiatrist's office (she was a horrible psychiatristand claimed to be a trauma specialist but her knowledge was very outdated.)
You’ve repeatedly mentioned how DID isn’t a “fun” disorder and that “it’s not having a bunch of friends in your head” but this really showed how terrifying this disorder can be im so sorry, but thank you for sharing ❤
For Kya: I can't imagine how hard that time of life was. I tried picturing the experiences Chloe was having as my own and it must have been like living in a horror movie. It's a wonderful thing to see you all come through it all and be stronger for it. This old guy is proud of you all for it, for what it's worth as well. For Jade: You are a good protector for the system. You are their shield and forcing back the terrible things that would harm you all, but you also know when to start reaching out for help, and that takes a lot more strength than people realize. Keep them safe, and make sure you are getting some joy in this world as well. You've definitely earned it.
I swear Kya & co. Every single video you look like an upgraded version of yourself. And I don't mean solely physical looks, your aura is defining itself. You're presenting with such power and grace. The confidence in your knowledge is truly so magical. I hope that on the days when you're feeling less than, you know that the impact youre making is what defines you. Allow us, on those days to remind you how truly impactful you are. Bless your journey, And Thank you always ❤
It’s amazing to see how much better y’all’s communication and confidence has become, looking back on the videos from Chloe, most of the system was clearly very scared and confused, and it’s a stark difference from the informed, functional group of people you’ve become today. It’s a journey, but you’re doing amazing, and I’m so very proud of you all💜
really really amazed by all of your growth & teamwork 🥹 i feel so proud for all your progress together. i first knew the system through chloe in 2018 at a low point in my life & i feel so grateful witnessing the same growth with the people who helped me finally love & take care of myself well 🥹🤗 may you keep having the life you enjoy together
As someone who suffers from “invisible” disabilities (autism and other things), I related to this video a fair amount. Experiencing things because of a disorder and not knowing why can be very scary. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I send a gentle hug your way.
I’ll second that, I’m in the (long and stressful) process of getting assessed for autism an adhd currently and I’m just about to enter my last year of school. I don’t have a clue how I’m going to cope with that never mind uni. I relatively recently learned that autistics are more prone to trauma than their neurotypical counterparts which explains a lot and just honestly sucks. But, yeah, apart from a bunch of personal trauma that I can’t really talk about on TH-cam comments, just existing in a neurotypical world is so hard and traumatic. I found this channel about a year ago and went down the rabbit hole of adhd hyper-focus watching just about every video to learn about DID just out of interest. I got so much more than I bargained for: help with trauma, and a safe place to learn about DID which went from ‘relatable’ in my head to I should bring this up to my therapist probably. A few years ago I mentioned in passing ‘the people in my head’ to a teacher who was helping me through about the worst point in my mental health not realising that other people didn’t have that. I was sent to the school councillor who basically asked me if I experienced psychosis and when I said no I was dismissed (I didn’t really get on with that therapist). I’m yet to get as far as bringing up DID in therapy but I’m so grateful to have been able to come to this gently and I’m sure I am not the only one who will experience this. I’m so sorry you were given the information in a frightening and triggering way and I’m so happy to see how you have grown as a system since then. Thank you so much for everything you do here. ❤
Same here. We're a disabled plural system and like, it's scary. And not knowing how people around you will react is scary. And that tension, too, of headmates wanting to live and introduce themselves as themselves but others pushing very hard to keep us in a singular life, it's a lot.
Your very raw discussion of your experiences in university is greatly appreciated. It can't be easy to talk about those things- I know first hand how scary it can be to do so- but openly sharing experiences like that, when we can, is how we distigmatize it. I'm so glad to see that you are at a point now where you feel more comfortable talking about these things. The work you've put in definitely shows, and you'll continue to help people with videos like these. 💜
As a psychology student I am always very appreciative of your videos. Because of course I can read about symptoms and/or their presentation in a book, but I find that actually hearing about the experience of someone living with a certain disorder is so much more valuable than any text could be. My previous psychologist, for example, diagnosed me with ADHD but not with ASD (neither of which compare to DID, I know). Her reasoning? According to the 64 question form I filled out, I was 'too social for ASD'. When I told my current psychiatrist, she was quite dumbfounded by that statement; I'm AFAB, I was expected to be more socially adequate, so I had time to copy behaviour and learn what people wanted to hear. I still have many sensory issues. I've had or been close to meltdowns. A weekend of camping with friends (which I love doing don't get me wrong) drains me. But because I know how to make small talk or because I'm not afraid to ask a supermarket (or a tall person if one isn't nearby) for help, I couldn't _possibly_ be autistic. Same with ADHD. Because I'm AFAB, symptoms present differently, which for most people looked like daydreaming and laziness as a child, and has caused severe mental and executive problems now that I'm an adult. It's gotten a bit of a ramble, my apologies to the reader. But what I'm trying to say is, just because we might have read a ton of books or blogs or Mayo Clinic articles, we can never truly know what a disorder does to a person without hearing from said person. Without patient testimonials, we know nothing. People sharing their stories like this helps others look for more subtle signs of disorder, or helps us understand and help our fellow humans better in their daily struggle. I also hope that when I am a professional in the future and I do take patients, and I happen to have a patient exhibiting symptoms of DID, your videos will be in the back of my mind, telling me 'hey, you remember this', so I can give or get them proper help. TL;DR: Hearing people's stories about their experiences with their disorders is important. They are educational for everyone, because they help us understand and help our fellow humans so much better. If you have any similair stories, please post them in the comments; I'd love to read them!❤
Hey there o/ Thanks for sharing! I agree so much about the patient testimonials vs things like Mayo Clinic and such. I’ve been searching for answers for so long and was deterred/confused and frustrated by the professional phrasing of everything. I also took an interest in psychology/science behind, well, everything. I’m undiagnosed/self diagnosed atm since it’s not quite convenient for me to go, but I’ve learned a lot in the past year or two from some channels. A lot of info just clicked when it wasn’t being said in convoluted ways. I watched and heard from channels with ADHD but felt like there was a noticeable missing piece. It only felt like that was filled when I heard from people/channels about ASD. It felt like I found the key to a sunken treasure chest! I’ve been experiencing massive burnout from masking for years and only understood that a while ago. I also suffer from sensory issues and was continually mistreated due to lack of understanding. I experienced a lot of meltdowns in childhood but was ignored/seen as throwing tantrums despite explaining myself. Like you, I’m AFAB. Due to unmet sensory needs (and just basic child/human needs/wants), someone often called me “princess” in a demeaning way. I had less inclination towards traditionally effeminate things so…yea. *I hope I didn’t overshare and have made a coherent comment. My attention always flits in and out as I type these things and try to reread, so lots of things I want to say get lost and other things are unnecessarily mentioned instead. So apologies in advance if I’m missing anything 😓😑
@@bubbiccino I found your comment perfectly coherent! I definitely recognize a lot of things in your story, but instead of being called 'princess' I was called 'difficult' or 'egotistical'. Simply because I was tired and wanted to home, or because I didn't like my siblings teasing me. (Add being the oldest to that last bit, so I also had to hear 'well they're younger, so just ignore them and set a good example' as well... which is also really great for your psyche...)
@@SoubiYumea Glad my brain’s working enough to be understood 😅 I was called difficult and egotistical too before they settled on “princess,” probably because they knew how much I would detest it. I’m the middle child and the scapegoat. I was an extroverted child so other people liked to interact with me, and I was active (rather than passive) so I tried to take care of things that would affect my family. My siblings were, luckily, not cruel or bad to me…but there were still difficulties with the family dynamics. It is my regret that the most memorable interactions we had involve me experiencing a meltdown (basically entire childhood haha). I’ve always strived to be better/mature emotionally through what I learned from stories/movies (as cheesy as it sounds), but getting answers in the past year/two has really made that process feel easier. I miss talking with others (probably the extroverted side of me), but I’m very burnt out and have little to talk about aside from trauma dumping. So I lurk here and there 😅 I hope you’ve found answers that help you and are healing ❤️🩹 from the past even if it’s slowly. You’re great regardless of being the oldest sibling, and you’re amazing just for being you.
I had the exact same experience when it came to being diagnosed with ASD and ADHD, though I was diagnosed with ADHD as a teenager when hospitalized. Unfortunately I'm now stuck with a psychiatrist who believes in treating symptoms not diagnostics and he's the only avaliable option. But every councelor I've ever had, even my current O.T. agree I am somewhere on that spectrum. It is so discouraging to end up with a medical provider who seems to care so little about the people they are meant to help. It warmed my heart to read of someone going into the field who clearly already cares about the people they'll help. You wouldn't work so hard to understand a disorder like DID if you didn't. I wish their were more people like you in the field though I'm hopeful for a future where more are :) From a random stranger, thank you for being a good one.
@@bubbiccino Thank you, I've started taking steps towards healing, so it is a work in progress with a long road ahead, but at least I have started the journey! And I hope the same and all the best to you as well❤
I dont even have DID, but at the end when you looked in the camera and said, 'your healing is worth it. You're worth it' made me almost tear up and i took it to heart 😢 u are the best role model and inspiration to people on their journey to discover and understand themselves ❤
Hey Kya & co, I’ve been watching you for around 2-3 years now, and currently I am in a psych ward, I met someone with DID and without ur videos I would have never been able to make them feel comfortable and somehow safe, just by letting them know that if their pronouns change they can let me know and referring to them as a collective, they gave me a letter before they left saying it made their year and they have never been so seen in that way. I just want to say thank you, I don’t think y’all know all the amazing things you guys do for us on a daily and how that can change others days, weeks , lives ❤ so thank you for educating me so I could make someone’s year xx
Hello! Im in nursing school and in my mental health class today we learned about DID. My teacher started to show a scene from a movie to show what it was and I actually stopped her to show your channel instead. I know I don't know you but I'm insanely proud of how you speak about your experiences and want to spread awareness. From a nursing class in Kentucky, USA, we appreciate you!!
When I was first introduced to your account I didn’t know I had DID. Throughout watching you things resonated a lot and when I started EMDR I discovered a whole system of over 50. This was back during early 2021. Now it’s 2023 and we’ve done so much healing. Our system is now a system of 3! There’s been SO MANY healthy fusions. It’s becoming apparent that we might soon become a system of two, and I don’t think myself or Cass will ever fuse, but that’s ok. We’ve come a long way and it makes me so happy.
Wow. What a journey that must have been. Fascinating, what the mind is capable of. I was going to say something encouraging, but I don't know that I won't say something cliche or alarming. Um, keep trucking, I guess.
@@koi_ponnd a few inner world changes! Still a system of 3 but the third alter is different now. I’m currently also out of a toxic situation and am genuinely doing the best I ever have.
@@besassyxo weird o-o you could see the two comments underneath thing before you commented? It still says 3 comments before typing this and it tripped me up lmfao. I was like 0-0 who is there?
I really like the idea that you’re trying to be what you needed when you were younger but couldn’t find. I think that’s one of the most noble things someone can do
We would love to see that video on leaving home for the first time! It would be very beneficial for systems who haven't yet left home, and to all other systems who can see their experiences validated!
This video came at the perfect time. Someone who I assume to be an alter fronted without pretending to be me for the first time two weeks ago, and I’ve made an appointment to start the process of an evaluation, suspecting OSDD-1b. Thank you. Especially for what you said about rooting for us. Absolute legend. Keep it up.
God Kya this sounds absolutely terrifying. I had no idea discovering the DID was so horrific. Chloe must have been terror stricken. I’m so glad you’re all doing better now.
I hope you all are doing okay. Came to see if there were any updates, I hope you all have found safety and everything is well. Take all the time you need, we will be here if your system feels safe enough to return. And even if returning is no longer an option, we are still here and supporting your decisions. ♥️
I hope anyone reading this, wherever and whenever that may be, that you may find relief and happiness. ❤ The world can feel lonely and cruel at times, but we got this! I am cheering for you.
We're an officially diagnosed DID system and you and your channel helped us a whole lot seeking a diagnosis, understand what DID is and love ourselves better. You are an amazing person and amazing people. Thank you for everything you do to distigmatise DID and being yourselves 💕
Ohhh it makes so much sense how disregulated a system can become after leaving the busive environment, and fter being presented with the possibility of DID. Thank you for showing your journey, I'm glad it worked out in the end, but that sounds so confusing and scary to go through untill being diagnosed
It is scary. All of it will always be scary. But, it is also alright and completely valid to go through life not knowing, or not being able to have that privalege of a diagnosis (DID or otherwise). And that's even scarier. But we make do and push through it. We have found a comfort in each other. And that's what matters. It's a struggle, but it's worth it. -Lydia
hey Kya & Co, i hope you guys are well. i know you guys stopped posting here because of the incident that you also posted about, then after August it seems you guys have been completely absent from all social media. absolutely no pressure to come back and especially not under a specific timeline. i really hope you’re taking care of yourself/being taken care of and that you know that you deserve happiness, safety, patience and love. you and your system have worked so hard to get to a stable place in life and you deserve to see the rewards of that. you are strong and although you shouldn’t have to persevere through awful events, you can and you will. hope to see you whenever it is safe ❤.
Speaking of hosts who got memories taken away all the time our one long time host found you back in 2017. She had been watching you and anytime you switched or talked about other personalities would gatekeeper would switch her out or take her memory away. We really thank you for being in our lives long enough to make our gatekeeper open up to her. Therapy hasn't quite helped but you have. We truly thank you and are continuing to seek new therapy as we work with next working with all our alters. While building our TH-cam and Instagram channels just like you 😊
Yeah, as someone whose mental illness hit rock bottom in University, I can empathize. I may not have moved away from home, but the transition in my life was huge nonetheless, and that stress was the tipping point for several issues that to this day I am still picking through to find what fits, a full 10 years later. Going through multiple providers too has made a difference, the first time I was young and skeptic, so it didn't last, but now I am medicated and in a better state of awareness about my struggles, but of course there is always room to improve, and I hope for everyone who needs that improvement to get there
This comment meant so much to us, thank you. We have been desperate for help for awhile, but have found major comfort in ourselves. It always just takes time. A lot of it. Glad you are feeling a little better. -Lydia & Ben
hi kya! i've been a long time viewer over the years and honestly related to a lot of your content even before i was diagnosed earlier this year with DID. this video has helped me realize that after i got my diagnosis i went through heavy bouts of debilitating dissociation & amnesia for months. honestly, at the time i didn't even think much of it but this has helped me realize that was a response from my system so thank you for sharing your experiences with us. hope you and everyone else are doing well !
The makeup is awesome. Its vibrant and beautiful. The outfit, the makeup and the blanket on the chair, its surprisingly giving safe and cozy vibes. Thank you for the amazing video again. Sending all the love and strength to everyone in the system.🖤💙
not sure if you know already, but in case you don’t, the blanket on the chair was actually sent to them by a fan!! it was quite a few years ago and i just think it’s really lovely to see it stay with them after all this time :))))
@@Fey_Aelin_Elentiya So sorry, Selene, I know you’re one of the lovely mods for DissociaDID (I watched the quarry stream the other day), but I didn’t recognise you when I first commented since your handle is slightly different from your username 😭 how silly of me! i was like ‘SerafinaAthena… sounds similar but not exactly SeleneAthena’ haha, i see the connection now! I hope you’re doing well! Sending the best xx /platonic ☺️
It may be surprising but THIS was the video I needed. I have had my scores emailed back to me from Pottergate Centre years ago, a little while before the pandemic. I was so unsure of what to do after words, though the letter spelled it out I was looking too far into things and getting lost in denial. I have taken this form to mental health professionals and had positive and negative experiences. Currently on a waiting list to discuss it and my general mental health and this video has helped me significantly. You've shown me that the path does get difficult but it's still a path and takes you on a journey of personal growth and self-betterment. Thank you Kya for this video.
I struggle with PNES and POTS and have also been diagnosed with BPD. I have had suspicions I have DID for YEARS and entering mental health facilities definitely hurt me a lot. I brought up to my psychiatrists multiple times that I suspect I have DID and have had symptoms for years, including: amnesia, missing gaps of my childhood and other years of my life, people referring to me by different names, people coming up to me and claiming we've met before (also calling me a different name). Because I was a minor at the time and my parents were abusive I've never received proper help. I hope that when I start back in therapy soon I can hopefully receive proper help and an explanation as to why I'm dealing with this. Thank you for speaking up and sharing your experiences with everyone, and this has made me feel less alone in my battle. Thank you for everything you do, and you all are very appreciated. ♥️
Thank you so much. I've been looking for someone to share their diagnosis story. I've been feeling pretty alone in how I got my DID diagnosis and just wanted someone else to share so I could relate. I couldn't find anything until this video. You're one of the only people I've seen (especially on the internet) who is always kind, validating, and helping people the best they can. I've seen some of the hate you are getting on the internet, but I hope you know how many people you are helping as well. Thanks DissociaDID!
I had huge amounts of time loss in college. I just chalked it up to being tired and overworked. Now that I know my system I know it was a protector taking over to keep us going when I was overwhelmed. I remember telling a friend that I felt like I was sleeping then would suddenly wake up to find myself in class or on a bus or at work. It was scary. Glad I can communicate with the system now.
“The road ahead will be difficult, but it's always been difficult. This is just a new type of challenge, you will be okay”. You always have the right words to calm my mind. I learn so much about DID thanks to you, but I also learn so much about coping mechanisms for my own mental issues. You have always made me feel so safe. Thank you so much, Kya.
I don’t have DID however, after watching your videos and understanding your journey throughout the years, I tried a few “tricks” that you shared in a few videos talking about the way you started communicating with your alters in order to understand their needs and find a way to coexist within the system. I don’t have alters (obviously) but I started to talk to myself more kindly, I wouldn’t dismiss the bad thoughts, instead I tried to understand them, and I just have to tell you that it helped me tremendously. It’s still a journey nonetheless, but after I started doing it my life started to change for the better in so many regards. I don’t know if you will read this but I really want to thank you. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable. I wish you a lot of happiness and peace ❤
"This is just a new type of challenge." Thank you so much for sharing your story and opening up about your journey. 💓 The path to diagnosis is rough but the relief of having answers is indescribable. Sending lots of love and support your way. 🫶 -Demetra
Thank you for the disclaimer at the start of the video. It will be very valuable to those doubting the chronology of your channel. I have been following you for many years, throughout all your “controversies”, never doubting you and always rooting for your healing. You are very authentic in the delivery of your story and have proven its legitimacy time and time again. I also want to note that it was incredibly interesting for me to learn how the absence of your abusers escalated an identity crisis in your system. You are incredibly brave for continuing on your path and educating others.
Can you make more videos on sexual trauma? If you’re not comfortable talking about it that’s totally understandable but your intercourse after trauma video has been super helpful and we’d love to see more like it 💖💖
@@DissociaDID you know until now I did watch All your videos and it really helped my to understand a little bit of this I really appreciate that you make these videos about what you get through its really appreciate and thank you and.. I hope everyone have a great really great day I hope you all doing great.. And I'm still waiting for another unboxing video😂.. Bye... My love from maroc🇲🇦🇲🇦❤️
I really appreciate ur saying that it's okay to be wrong. I started watching in like 2017 I think bc I thought I might have DID (I do not) but now am a student mental health nurse and hope to specialise in dissociate disorders and working to help others who went through similar stuff, dismantle the system that works against us, and break the stigma ❤🎉
Denial is a force and without this channel it would have been a much more difficult journey for us. We stumbled upon this channel maybe 4 - 5 years ago and we didn't suspect a thing about the fact we might have a dissociative disorder. Coming up on a year ago now, after being in college for year and a bit, our relatively newer host (not that they were aware they were newer), Max, was faced with the fact that they very likely had some sort of dissociative disorder similar to DID. We are now aware that we are likely an OSDD system. We were fully aware that DID was something that existed but the denial and the way these things functions is incredibly strong. Our story is quite different but upon a friend, who's DID system literally only just revealed to them that they were a system (we went through system discovery together, it's a bit of a long story), confronted us with the fact that we were likely also a system Max completely panicked and the denial came down hard, like a wall. It felt like a physical barrier in their brain that just said no. Denial is a strong tool. Without having this channel and learning so much about DID prior, I don't know how things would have gone. This channel greatly helped us be much more open to the idea of DID. While the denial was bad and worked its magic. We seriously had no clue but we were greatly interested in learning about DID and expanding our knowledge in mental health in general, but we ended up specifically hyperfixating on DID and often this channel in particular. This made acceptance and our journey while still hard and ongoing so much easier. It really opened up things for us and made things a less scary. This channel meant we started our journey of discovery knowing DID was a thing and well informed and it let us know that things were going to be okay and this is it's own normal and that we weren't alone. - I'm being informed by our protector Jared that this was part of the plan in a way. It seems the reason I, as the former host, was allowed to cluelessly research into DID at all and for so long was because he was allowing us to ease ourselves into awareness slowly for when we eventually found out and became aware. I didn't know that before. I'm having some emotions about the revelation. That's incredibly sweet. It makes sense now why we didn't just get pushed away from DID like some other systems. You have no idea how grateful I am to you, Kya and the rest of DissociaDID, as well as the other DID channels and systems that we follow that helped teach us so much and broke down the stigma before it could even harm us to its full extent. You have no idea how much grief you spared us in speaking out about your own experiences and in starting this channel. You have shielded us from a lot of pain, things could have been so much harder for us. Thank you.
I came across your interview with Anthony 2 days ago and have been binge watching your videos to learn more about DID. Thank you so much for sharing this I am forever grateful to Chole for opening this channel and sharing this is so informative. Love to all of you. I hope you all are doing great. Love from Toronto Canada.
We haven't watched your videos in a while because of how triggering they tend to be for some of us (of course, it has nothing to do with you, and while we hope that you already understand this, we just want to be clear), but this title drew my interest. While we don't have a formal diagnosis, we speak with each other mostly through dreams and occasionally directly, while still being mostly amnesic at this time. Our previous host member didn't discover that we were dissociative until a few years ago, and this was through someone telling us that we showed the signs of being a survivor of organized ritual abuse. This prompt was the trigger that brought him to awareness, and from his prior research into ORA and DID, he was able to recognize the signs for himself. Through coming to accept this, several of us started coming forward, slowly at first but increasingly over time. This has caused a rapid deterioration in our cohesion and regulation to the point that we haven't been able to work a regular job for years now (which has been quite disconcerting to our previous host member given that he used to earn a six figure salary in tech), with blackouts, time loss, reports from others of our switching and the appearance of inexplicable wounds being but a few of the symptoms that we experience. Your experience is similar in certain respects to ours, and it helps us to remember that we're not "crazy". Thanks for sharing! We hope that you continue to find the help that you need in your journey of healing and finding functional wholeness.
Thank you, Kya and everyone! I am thrilled that you are once again maximizing this platform to educate the world on this highly stigmatized illness that is DID. Also, I'm really happy to see you doing and looking so well. Much love! ❤
The rawness and vulnerability of this video is immense. Thank you Kya and everyone for letting us in on such personal and private details of what must have been an absolutely terrifying time for Chloe and the entire system. You have all worked so hard and you are so brave! ❤️
I had to rewatch and pause a bit after two minutes. I didn't realise that you all received a BPD diagnosis first. I don't know how to explain it, but I felt an emotional shift within me. I've discovered your channel in 2018 when Chole was the Host of the system. When I was in therapy I expressed how I felt very drawn to the DissociaDID channel and felt comfort within the system. Hearing you mention BPD hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't receive my BPD diagnosis until early 2020 and for a while I thought my attachment and closeness to the system was because I may have DID. Through therapy and further examination DID was ruled out and I was diagnosed with BPD. To this day I've found myself drawn to those with DID (on of my best friends of 4 years. I've shown him your channel and it has helped his system greatly), Bipolar Type 2, and BPD diagnosis. Through education and unfortunately repeated trauma I also have CPTSD (I'm working the courage to get seen by a therapist/psychiatrist due to terrible past experiences so I am not officially diagnosed) on top of being diagnosed with MDD (major depressive disorder) and GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). I am sorry for the long winded comment. Maybe I feel some sort of validation? Some more comfort knowing that I am more valid? I struggle daily and I value and cherish the safe space you've all created for me, others like me, and everyone else in between. Thank you for making me feel less alone and more valid. If you've made it this far I apologize for the terribly long comment. I just value and appreciate you all so much 😭💕
I hope y'all are doing alright, I hope this well-deserved break is giving you all what you need to heal and recover. Rest up and i hope to see a video whenever you're feeling up to it ❤
Always find it interesting hearing about memories being yoinked by gatekeepers. Do you know whether they use a physical action in the inner world to do this or just "will it to happen" ?
Our Gatekeeper is here right now. She says that it depends on the Gatekeeper. "Sometimes it feels like I am quite literally playing tug-of-war with the Host's brain" (I tend to have a stubborn brain, I'm sorry😅) But it is not always easy. Mainly, for her at least, she wills it to happen. -Lydia & Ben
I have BPD, ADHD and undiagnosed ASD (My current psychiatrist refuses to do any diagnostics because he believes in treating symptoms not worrying about what exactly is going on and he's the only one available). Hearing you talk about your journey has been exactly the motivator I needed today. Having a diagnosis of a mental health disorder where the treatment plan comes down to learning how to just deal with it better and failing over and over until you get it right can be overwhelming, exhausting, discouraging, I could go on. But the take away I got from this video was a reminder that everyone stumbles in the process of getting treatment and healing but you just have to keep putting one foot infront of another and before you know it you'll be able to look back on it and "think look how far I have come". So if Kya happens to read this, thank you for giving a total stranger the kick in the butt she needed to try harder not to self sabotage fully embracing treatment.
Since I became a teen, I’d always been searching for answers. Answers about my identity, my reality, my frustrations, my differences, etc. I didn’t know where to look or ask and would only happen upon actual answers by chance. Although I don’t have DID, I’ve learned a lot from this channel! I feel more in touch with my own emotions and a little less frustrated. I understand a little more about dissociation, dpdr, and very infrequent amnesia that may have occurred when I was struggling a lot when grounded. I’ve found a lot of answers no one could give me back then and feel like I’ve reclaimed experiences/identifiers I thought were lost forever. This channel is one that helped a significant amount with that, and restored a lot of patience/kindness with some things/to others. (I also suspect someone I know to have DID/OSDD, so I very much welcome any information that could help me aid them). Thank you (all) for sharing this much. Remember to drink water, and don’t push yourself too hard. Take little breaks even if you feel fine/better than normal (and play with your floofy cats 😊).
I started watching you because of your story. I stayed because I became emotionally attached to your alters and you. Whatever you talk about, I'll be here for support.
I genuinely cannot fathom how difficult this stuff must be. With your candor, you are providing an absolutely invaluable service for so many people who would otherwise feel terrified and completely alone. I hope you are able to love and appreciate yourself as much as we all love and appreciate you.
I just want to thank the dissociadid system for being here. This channel has given me light for a long time. I originally started watching this channel during a rough time and the very beginning of my journey. I only recently have felt more acceptance towards what could be inside of me. I really appreciate this channel and this video.
@@L3afeon 1) please don't spread misinformation or scare people like that. There are people here who genuinely care for them 2) your other comments are definitely trolling, and it's not welcome. 3) they are a system and you should use plural pronouns.
Hello, DissosociaDID, My name is Ember, and I want to say thank you. Your channel has helped me through some really tough times, and it’s helped me on my journey. I got diagnosed with DID in late September. I won’t go into any details, but I wrote down notes from your videos to help and it really did. Your channel is the reason why i actually managed to figure this out, and all of your videos have helped an unfathomable amount. Your amazing work is so inspiring, and I am so, so proud of you. It means the world from what you are doing on this channel, wether it’s having serious talks about this disorder or doing entertaining streams, you manage so well and I’m pleased to say you are my favourite person in TH-cam. Have a great day, and once again, Thank you.
Kya, I never knew you had non epileptic seizures but after watching this video I feel more seen. I’ve never been able to relate to you in anyway just an active listener and support but I have also been diagnosed with NES and hearing someone else speak so clearly about it and how it is a trauma response is validating ❤❤❤ thank you for sharing your experience
I should add that I’m only commenting this because so many people don’t know it exists or they think it’s fake and to hear someone educating everyone makes me very happy❤
hiya, thank you so much for these videos i am so grateful for them, im currently researching DID (and have been for the past 5 years), i feel as if i have DID, im the host of our system (the flower system), belle, the reason i feel i have this is because 5 years ago, nearly 6, i met evelyn, who at the time was our mask, and is now our protector. your videos have helped us so much, it’s a nice way to research. thank you so much!
I have followed you from 2018. I do not have DID, however I am very proud of how far you've come with the channel! I definitely didn't keep track of all the changes for some time, but I loved any and all versions of your system. I can see how much you've grown, how much experience and control you've gained and how much more confident you are with yourselves! Thank you Kya for another amazing video, I will come back for more
In less than a week I will officially have my doctorate in clinical psychology. I want to say thank you for sharing your experiences to help those of us working in the field better understand how to provide the best care.
i don't have DID but i do have seizures and i'm so sorry you guys have to suffer through seizures (as well). they're f-cking terrifying and are definitely a major component of my severe anxiety. proud of you guys opening up about this, i can't even imagine telling thousands -maybe more than a million- people about having seizures, despite knowing it isn't my fault and that i can't help it😅 hope you guys are doing well today, sending love
I have seizures and I feel you with the anxiety. The first thing I do when I have full awareness is see if I have my clothes on and where I am. Oh yea, and try not to vomit because vertigo (I always seem to sit up too fast.)
Hi Kya&Co! Super early! I love your videos and everything that you stand for. Never forget that you are stronger than any obstacle you'll ever encounter in your lives, as you've proven yourselves time and time again.
Just remember, everyone here, that diagnosis and having access to help are a privalege and are so very hard to get if you don't have the recources. What is most important is you know your truth, and I hope anyone here who is struggling with resources that you will get what you need one day. You WILL get there, even if it takes awhile. It's okay to struggle and be a bit 'behind'. You will be okay. All our love. -Ever System (PS Thank you for sharing your story, Kya & co. You didn't have to and it was an honor to hear it.)
I have started watching you off and on ever since the Anthony Padilla video, and until you shared your story just now, it never fully hit me how absolutely terrifying this disorder must be, especially when someone doesn’t know they have it. I truly appreciate your vulnerability, and hope that you guys find some kind of peace and stability in your lives, however that might be. ♥️✨✨
Thank you so much for teaching us about DID it helps lodes of people who what to learn about this, 6 year's ago i had no idea what DID even was but it's all thanks to you guys, and it's all worth it, you guys are amazing, keep doing what you're doing because everyday you inspire some many people, and your amazing and great and powerful, thank you for making this channel.❤❤❤❤
We had similar experiences with diagnosis, here in the UK as well, it took years of being in and out of NHS therapy and private therapy before we got our diagnosis ( our body was in its early 20's and now its 27. Thank you for sharing your experiences , it really has helped us feel more at ease with having DID but nothings ever easy with DID. Sending lots of love your way
That bit where you said being diagnosed or going through a new mental health situation doesnt have to be the end of the world and how it's just a new challenge really resonated a lot with me :( It's so scary accepting and dealing with trauma after years of repressing, after all, but we gotta fight back!! ❤️🩹💪
Wow.. thank you so much for making this video and being so open! We have been suspecting having a dissociative disorder ourselves and we always felt some sort of shame in relating while not being diagnosed by a professional and your message at the end really helped! We have also been struggling with severe seizures for over three years now and professionals found nothing and after doing our research we think it might be NES. Thanks for bringing this to our awareness and making amazing videos like this one! Keep going and we support you. So much love, Tyler and Raven
I hope you all are doing well. 🥺 Always thinking of you and sending love and support. Remember that you absolutely can get through anything.. life has been cruel and unkind but your life needs to be lived. Read that again, each of you. Your lives need to be lived. Thank you for doing so.❤️
That makeup is BEAUTIFUL 😍 Thank you for being so open and honest with your diagnosis. You are so strong, and I'm so proud of how much you've grown and healed and are continuing to grow and heal. Much love ❤
Hearing you speak about what you went through, I can't help but feel renewed admiration for the energy you put into getting better and informing the world about DID. You seem to have come so far and have overcome so much, and you deploy such strength and skill to ensure your well-being and that of others, it is truly commendable. I myself just started the process of better understanding my cognitive dysfunctioning and am seeking help and a potential diagnosis. It's scary, I am conflicted between feeling undeserving of help and feeling like an impostor who made it all up, I'm scared of receiving a diagnosis, but also of not getting the diagnosis I think would help me. But in the end, I won't get better if I don't start seeking answers.
have been subbed for a couple of years now and i still get excited when you upload another video 😊 has helped me SO much with how to handle my DID friend and help her feel more safe and secure. your channel is such a blessing!! xx
You guys have made so much progress, it still baffles me with each new video you post. Sometimes it's nice to be reminded of that, especially when it's hard to see your own progress. Thank you all for the education you provide and transparency you share with your own experiences... I came across this channel before I was diagnosed with C-PTSD, and I want to let you all know how much support your own stories have given me. Covering comorbid disorders and other mental health issues outside of DID has been especially helpful, and I hope that all of you are proud of the safe online community you have created for many people.
Sending positive thoughts your way! Hope you're healing and doing well and if not, I hope things get better soon. ♥️ I miss seeing you online but respect you and your time offline!! Hope all is well!!
I cant imagine how TERRIFYING it might have been to see that video, or seeing that message on that mirror that you didn’t write, seeing you so positive and healed now gives me hope for myself and that I will also find my way and eventually heal as well. Thank you for everything that y’all do :)
your channel make me feel safe, I thought I had did when I was a teenager and found out I was experiencing depersonalization, it's nice to know that it's okay to be wrong about it
Hello, yesterday I waned to message out about something I was experiencing but today I've found something that helps me stay connected to my body. I tried EMDR therapy myself, by holding a finger in front of my face while on video. I focused on one point, that I marked with a highlighter, while playing some songs I related to quite a bit. There were times I dissociated at first but as I continued, while listening to the music lyrics I found myself recovering some emotions, memories, and a state of mind I had from years ago when I was four. I have been through a lot but it was nice to find the core of my emotions and feelings after years of masking it.
I had been quite curious about this, and really appreciate your sharing. Hope y’all are doing well and donating to the legal fund because that dude SUCKS and I hope you beat him down every time!
DID is such an incredibly complex thing! the brain is scarily amazing at keeping information from itself, and its so very interesting to be able to hear your stories and learn how different people live life! I wish kya & co all the best
Thank you. After coming in contact with your videos I was first experiencing excitement at having found recognition of my condition and then my whole system went haywire and I lost a day. Thank you for letting us know we are not alone.
this helped us feel so valid! we figured it out our selves and our old therapist said we didn't have it (we didn't like her and she didn't know anything about us and old us the disorder was rare and she didn't even like talk to us about it, it was just shutting us down and not even listening to us ☹️) anyways, the memories getting shuffled around and gatekeepers picking and choosing what memories you have and when made us feel so valid :) thank you! - Iris/Gray
Thank you for feeling whatever feeling made you think to share this with others. We, as your audience, are not owed anything more than what you want to share, and I feel very grateful to know more because I never know when something from your content may resonate with myself or friends. You are remarkably strong just for trying to get through every day and trying to heal, let alone for sharing as much as you do.
Oh my God...the bit w/ The Little & her childhood setting made me SO sad. Damn dude, what a heavy reminder why you don't talk about your child alters. Regardless, thank you for making this. Your story deserves to be told, and I thank you for telling it. ❤
we had a somewhat similar discovery process where once we moved out of the region we grew up in and to a new bigger city our system just started being so much more obvious. even the amnesia and memory loss id written off for years couldn’t be done anymore we were in college for psychology and despite this, pre-system discovery, DID was the one diagnosis we were like “nope i can’t be that. i would know.” we were more comfortable with thinking we had psychosis, bpd, etc (which we do on top of DID). our therapist who diagnosed us was like “well it’s actually pretty telling that you were so fascinated with DID (i talked about watching your videos lol) and knew so much about it. but that was the one diagnosis you couldn’t even entertain the idea of having” we know it was an alter in our system who was trying very hard to keep our system away from the rest of us. but also didn’t want to completely blindside us when we would inevitably find out. (from what i’ve heard. when they found out what we were experiencing was DID when we were like 11/12 from reading psych books, they basically devoted a lot of time into making sure we could learn about it but never apply it to our life) this was a really great video! thanks for sharing yalls experience -gray
Such openness, even just from your logical non-emotional state is bold. We hope it didn't take too much energy. You haven't been posting. Is all well with you? We've been lovingly concerned.
I just looked you up again because I haven't seen content in awhile. I doubt you'll see this but I want you to know you've made a difference in my life. You've helped me and those who care for me understand so much and love me better. You are important you are worthy you are wonderful and I hope you are well or on your way to being
![BOWKYLION - วิงวอน (ex-change) [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/cLdnZWDaO-w/mqdefault.jpg)
For anyone who needs a TW timeskip: 13:58 is when the TW ends.
Thank you all so much for sharing this experience. Hearing that you tried to get help and there were alters who actively sabatoged your attempts has changed my worldview on mental health and this disorder. I'm still processing the information you all have given me, so I don't know how put into words how it's changed yet. But I wanted to thank you for sharing it all the same.
❤️❤️❤️
Agreed, would love to see more education and personal experience with the disorder, would watch this channel religiously when Chloe was doing the educational/awareness videos.
Note for Americans - in the US a dissociative seizure is called Psychogenic Non-epileptic Seizure (PNES) or Psychogenic Non-epileptic Attack (PNEA). They used to be called pseudoseizures. It is the same exact thing.
Just wanted to make note of this because the term dissociative seizures isn't commonly used here, we'd recognize it as PNES or the outdated pseudoseizures.
NES, or Non-epileptic seizures, includes all types of seizures (not just psychogenic) that are not due to electrical activity in the brain: such as a heart condition, encephalitis, emotional distress, high fever, infection, car accident, metabolic disorders, etc.
Thanks for clarifying :) I suffer from PNES and I’m American. It’s my first time hearing PNES/PNEA be called a dissociative seizure. I didn’t even know that these types of seizures were related to dissociation, but it makes sense. I personally refer PNES to stress seizures
Oh, thanks for this! It makes sense. I had "pseudoseizures" for some time and it was due to trauma but I never rlly understood them beyond just knowing they just kinda happen and then it's over 🤷🏻♀
thanks for this info!! this may actually be what i have too; i had a big seizure back in 2019 (and several smaller ones surrounding it) that sent me to the hospital, and we were never able to find out what was causing them. i was in a stressful work environment, but figured it was just some sort of epilepsy rooted in my autism since those tend to be connected. i'm glad kya brought up theirs! now i have a WAY better descriptor! PNES is so much easier than saying "undetermined form of epilepsy", lmao.
@@marieso2293If you don't mind, could you tell me a little about those? I have had, to date, 8 occurrences that FEEL and seem "seizure-like" to me & everyone around me. They are few and far between but are odd and uncontrollable, which adds an element of fear for driving or being ANYWHERE alone.
@@kyssedbyfyre915 i start choking on my breath. Like Im not able to breathe smoothly. Then I start shaking with my chest leading the shake. Like it jerks up without me helping it with my arms or legs. Then my head starts slamming against the pillow over and over again. I dont think my arms and legs flail around or maybe they do but im not very aware of it. My eyes also get blurry and go up my head. Im fine after. Generally only happens on my bed. And I can kinda feel it before it happens. Like there's a tension that I feel right before it happens. Also happened once when I was very triggered in a psychiatrist's office (she was a horrible psychiatristand claimed to be a trauma specialist but her knowledge was very outdated.)
You’ve repeatedly mentioned how DID isn’t a “fun” disorder and that “it’s not having a bunch of friends in your head” but this really showed how terrifying this disorder can be im so sorry, but thank you for sharing ❤
I saw the makeup in the thumbnail and literally gasped. It looks SO good I can't imagine how long it took.
And to think they are not only Chloe, Nina and Nin, but also Kyle and that didn't hinder their baffling makeup skills.
right? its beautiful! and perfectly symmetrical! thats always the hard part lol
@@adriellym7698They must’ve worked hard to regain their makeup skills! I think that’s really admirable
THE MAKEUP IS SO ICONIC
She needs a whole makeup tutorial channel for all these looks. I'm crying.
@@jaminblizzagreed! she'd have a follower in meeeeee. 🥺
Their makeup makes me wanna try playing around with the art of makeup for the first time in years! Education and makeup icons at the same time!
It is very beautiful
Ikr he's so good at makeup and I'm jealous 😭😭
For Kya: I can't imagine how hard that time of life was. I tried picturing the experiences Chloe was having as my own and it must have been like living in a horror movie. It's a wonderful thing to see you all come through it all and be stronger for it. This old guy is proud of you all for it, for what it's worth as well.
For Jade: You are a good protector for the system. You are their shield and forcing back the terrible things that would harm you all, but you also know when to start reaching out for help, and that takes a lot more strength than people realize. Keep them safe, and make sure you are getting some joy in this world as well. You've definitely earned it.
I swear Kya & co. Every single video you look like an upgraded version of yourself. And I don't mean solely physical looks, your aura is defining itself. You're presenting with such power and grace. The confidence in your knowledge is truly so magical. I hope that on the days when you're feeling less than, you know that the impact youre making is what defines you. Allow us, on those days to remind you how truly impactful you are.
Bless your journey,
And Thank you always ❤
This is amazing thank you so much ❤️❤️
I guess to lift up such an amount of emotions up to this moment, by now the system must be incredibly strong and healing, and that's great
It’s amazing to see how much better y’all’s communication and confidence has become, looking back on the videos from Chloe, most of the system was clearly very scared and confused, and it’s a stark difference from the informed, functional group of people you’ve become today. It’s a journey, but you’re doing amazing, and I’m so very proud of you all💜
really really amazed by all of your growth & teamwork 🥹 i feel so proud for all your progress together. i first knew the system through chloe in 2018 at a low point in my life & i feel so grateful witnessing the same growth with the people who helped me finally love & take care of myself well 🥹🤗 may you keep having the life you enjoy together
And now that Soren is host (fusion of Kya and another), they really have grown so much as a system.
As someone who suffers from “invisible” disabilities (autism and other things), I related to this video a fair amount. Experiencing things because of a disorder and not knowing why can be very scary.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I send a gentle hug your way.
I’ll second that, I’m in the (long and stressful) process of getting assessed for autism an adhd currently and I’m just about to enter my last year of school. I don’t have a clue how I’m going to cope with that never mind uni. I relatively recently learned that autistics are more prone to trauma than their neurotypical counterparts which explains a lot and just honestly sucks. But, yeah, apart from a bunch of personal trauma that I can’t really talk about on TH-cam comments, just existing in a neurotypical world is so hard and traumatic. I found this channel about a year ago and went down the rabbit hole of adhd hyper-focus watching just about every video to learn about DID just out of interest. I got so much more than I bargained for: help with trauma, and a safe place to learn about DID which went from ‘relatable’ in my head to I should bring this up to my therapist probably. A few years ago I mentioned in passing ‘the people in my head’ to a teacher who was helping me through about the worst point in my mental health not realising that other people didn’t have that. I was sent to the school councillor who basically asked me if I experienced psychosis and when I said no I was dismissed (I didn’t really get on with that therapist). I’m yet to get as far as bringing up DID in therapy but I’m so grateful to have been able to come to this gently and I’m sure I am not the only one who will experience this. I’m so sorry you were given the information in a frightening and triggering way and I’m so happy to see how you have grown as a system since then. Thank you so much for everything you do here. ❤
Sorry, that was way more text than I realised…
@@sootycat2740 can relate pretty exactly to that except for having did and the teacher, wish you only the best :)
@@divided_by_dia446 thanks, you too ❤️
Same here. We're a disabled plural system and like, it's scary. And not knowing how people around you will react is scary. And that tension, too, of headmates wanting to live and introduce themselves as themselves but others pushing very hard to keep us in a singular life, it's a lot.
Your very raw discussion of your experiences in university is greatly appreciated. It can't be easy to talk about those things- I know first hand how scary it can be to do so- but openly sharing experiences like that, when we can, is how we distigmatize it. I'm so glad to see that you are at a point now where you feel more comfortable talking about these things. The work you've put in definitely shows, and you'll continue to help people with videos like these. 💜
Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️
As a psychology student I am always very appreciative of your videos. Because of course I can read about symptoms and/or their presentation in a book, but I find that actually hearing about the experience of someone living with a certain disorder is so much more valuable than any text could be.
My previous psychologist, for example, diagnosed me with ADHD but not with ASD (neither of which compare to DID, I know). Her reasoning? According to the 64 question form I filled out, I was 'too social for ASD'. When I told my current psychiatrist, she was quite dumbfounded by that statement; I'm AFAB, I was expected to be more socially adequate, so I had time to copy behaviour and learn what people wanted to hear.
I still have many sensory issues. I've had or been close to meltdowns. A weekend of camping with friends (which I love doing don't get me wrong) drains me. But because I know how to make small talk or because I'm not afraid to ask a supermarket (or a tall person if one isn't nearby) for help, I couldn't _possibly_ be autistic.
Same with ADHD. Because I'm AFAB, symptoms present differently, which for most people looked like daydreaming and laziness as a child, and has caused severe mental and executive problems now that I'm an adult.
It's gotten a bit of a ramble, my apologies to the reader. But what I'm trying to say is, just because we might have read a ton of books or blogs or Mayo Clinic articles, we can never truly know what a disorder does to a person without hearing from said person. Without patient testimonials, we know nothing. People sharing their stories like this helps others look for more subtle signs of disorder, or helps us understand and help our fellow humans better in their daily struggle.
I also hope that when I am a professional in the future and I do take patients, and I happen to have a patient exhibiting symptoms of DID, your videos will be in the back of my mind, telling me 'hey, you remember this', so I can give or get them proper help.
TL;DR: Hearing people's stories about their experiences with their disorders is important. They are educational for everyone, because they help us understand and help our fellow humans so much better.
If you have any similair stories, please post them in the comments; I'd love to read them!❤
Hey there o/
Thanks for sharing! I agree so much about the patient testimonials vs things like Mayo Clinic and such. I’ve been searching for answers for so long and was deterred/confused and frustrated by the professional phrasing of everything. I also took an interest in psychology/science behind, well, everything.
I’m undiagnosed/self diagnosed atm since it’s not quite convenient for me to go, but I’ve learned a lot in the past year or two from some channels. A lot of info just clicked when it wasn’t being said in convoluted ways. I watched and heard from channels with ADHD but felt like there was a noticeable missing piece. It only felt like that was filled when I heard from people/channels about ASD. It felt like I found the key to a sunken treasure chest!
I’ve been experiencing massive burnout from masking for years and only understood that a while ago. I also suffer from sensory issues and was continually mistreated due to lack of understanding. I experienced a lot of meltdowns in childhood but was ignored/seen as throwing tantrums despite explaining myself. Like you, I’m AFAB. Due to unmet sensory needs (and just basic child/human needs/wants), someone often called me “princess” in a demeaning way. I had less inclination towards traditionally effeminate things so…yea.
*I hope I didn’t overshare and have made a coherent comment. My attention always flits in and out as I type these things and try to reread, so lots of things I want to say get lost and other things are unnecessarily mentioned instead. So apologies in advance if I’m missing anything 😓😑
@@bubbiccino I found your comment perfectly coherent! I definitely recognize a lot of things in your story, but instead of being called 'princess' I was called 'difficult' or 'egotistical'. Simply because I was tired and wanted to home, or because I didn't like my siblings teasing me. (Add being the oldest to that last bit, so I also had to hear 'well they're younger, so just ignore them and set a good example' as well... which is also really great for your psyche...)
@@SoubiYumea Glad my brain’s working enough to be understood 😅
I was called difficult and egotistical too before they settled on “princess,” probably because they knew how much I would detest it. I’m the middle child and the scapegoat. I was an extroverted child so other people liked to interact with me, and I was active (rather than passive) so I tried to take care of things that would affect my family. My siblings were, luckily, not cruel or bad to me…but there were still difficulties with the family dynamics. It is my regret that the most memorable interactions we had involve me experiencing a meltdown (basically entire childhood haha).
I’ve always strived to be better/mature emotionally through what I learned from stories/movies (as cheesy as it sounds), but getting answers in the past year/two has really made that process feel easier. I miss talking with others (probably the extroverted side of me), but I’m very burnt out and have little to talk about aside from trauma dumping. So I lurk here and there 😅
I hope you’ve found answers that help you and are healing ❤️🩹 from the past even if it’s slowly. You’re great regardless of being the oldest sibling, and you’re amazing just for being you.
I had the exact same experience when it came to being diagnosed with ASD and ADHD, though I was diagnosed with ADHD as a teenager when hospitalized. Unfortunately I'm now stuck with a psychiatrist who believes in treating symptoms not diagnostics and he's the only avaliable option. But every councelor I've ever had, even my current O.T. agree I am somewhere on that spectrum. It is so discouraging to end up with a medical provider who seems to care so little about the people they are meant to help.
It warmed my heart to read of someone going into the field who clearly already cares about the people they'll help. You wouldn't work so hard to understand a disorder like DID if you didn't. I wish their were more people like you in the field though I'm hopeful for a future where more are :) From a random stranger, thank you for being a good one.
@@bubbiccino Thank you, I've started taking steps towards healing, so it is a work in progress with a long road ahead, but at least I have started the journey! And I hope the same and all the best to you as well❤
I dont even have DID, but at the end when you looked in the camera and said, 'your healing is worth it. You're worth it' made me almost tear up and i took it to heart 😢 u are the best role model and inspiration to people on their journey to discover and understand themselves ❤
❤️❤️❤️
Hey Kya & co, I’ve been watching you for around 2-3 years now, and currently I am in a psych ward, I met someone with DID and without ur videos I would have never been able to make them feel comfortable and somehow safe, just by letting them know that if their pronouns change they can let me know and referring to them as a collective, they gave me a letter before they left saying it made their year and they have never been so seen in that way. I just want to say thank you, I don’t think y’all know all the amazing things you guys do for us on a daily and how that can change others days, weeks , lives ❤ so thank you for educating me so I could make someone’s year xx
This is so wonderful! I’m glad you were able to make them comfortable and bring them a sense of validation. I hope you get better soon!
You should probably spend some time away from the internet if you're landing in psych wards. This is brainwashing
Hello!
Im in nursing school and in my mental health class today we learned about DID. My teacher started to show a scene from a movie to show what it was and I actually stopped her to show your channel instead.
I know I don't know you but I'm insanely proud of how you speak about your experiences and want to spread awareness.
From a nursing class in Kentucky, USA, we appreciate you!!
Oh my goodness! You're awesome for that ❤❤
You did good... The stigma in films about DID is out of nowhere
As another system, thank you! I hate to think people are being educated on us by movie stereotypes.
When I was first introduced to your account I didn’t know I had DID. Throughout watching you things resonated a lot and when I started EMDR I discovered a whole system of over 50. This was back during early 2021. Now it’s 2023 and we’ve done so much healing. Our system is now a system of 3! There’s been SO MANY healthy fusions. It’s becoming apparent that we might soon become a system of two, and I don’t think myself or Cass will ever fuse, but that’s ok. We’ve come a long way and it makes me so happy.
That's amazing! You're really strong :)
Wow. What a journey that must have been. Fascinating, what the mind is capable of.
I was going to say something encouraging, but I don't know that I won't say something cliche or alarming. Um, keep trucking, I guess.
That is amazing, wow! How are you doing today? Has anything changed since your initial comment?
@@koi_ponnd a few inner world changes! Still a system of 3 but the third alter is different now. I’m currently also out of a toxic situation and am genuinely doing the best I ever have.
@@songbirdsystem1465 that's good to hear. Wish your system the best!
🎉 I love how much your system has grown overtime. I hope you’re doing well today.
🙃 I can’t see who commented under this so I likely have you blocked. Yuck 🤢
@@LiminalDoll no one can see it....
@@besassyxo weird o-o you could see the two comments underneath thing before you commented? It still says 3 comments before typing this and it tripped me up lmfao. I was like 0-0 who is there?
I really like the idea that you’re trying to be what you needed when you were younger but couldn’t find. I think that’s one of the most noble things someone can do
We would love to see that video on leaving home for the first time! It would be very beneficial for systems who haven't yet left home, and to all other systems who can see their experiences validated!
This video came at the perfect time. Someone who I assume to be an alter fronted without pretending to be me for the first time two weeks ago, and I’ve made an appointment to start the process of an evaluation, suspecting OSDD-1b. Thank you. Especially for what you said about rooting for us. Absolute legend. Keep it up.
God Kya this sounds absolutely terrifying. I had no idea discovering the DID was so horrific. Chloe must have been terror stricken. I’m so glad you’re all doing better now.
I hope you all are doing okay. Came to see if there were any updates, I hope you all have found safety and everything is well. Take all the time you need, we will be here if your system feels safe enough to return. And even if returning is no longer an option, we are still here and supporting your decisions. ♥️
I hope anyone reading this, wherever and whenever that may be, that you may find relief and happiness. ❤ The world can feel lonely and cruel at times, but we got this! I am cheering for you.
Thank you, my mons been in the hospital and I ain't gonna lie I've been missing her terribly so seeing your guy's video makes a big difference
im so sorry to hear that
So sorry about your mom. Wish you and her the best! 🫶🏻
We're an officially diagnosed DID system and you and your channel helped us a whole lot seeking a diagnosis, understand what DID is and love ourselves better. You are an amazing person and amazing people. Thank you for everything you do to distigmatise DID and being yourselves 💕
Ohhh it makes so much sense how disregulated a system can become after leaving the busive environment, and fter being presented with the possibility of DID. Thank you for showing your journey, I'm glad it worked out in the end, but that sounds so confusing and scary to go through untill being diagnosed
It is scary. All of it will always be scary. But, it is also alright and completely valid to go through life not knowing, or not being able to have that privalege of a diagnosis (DID or otherwise). And that's even scarier. But we make do and push through it. We have found a comfort in each other. And that's what matters. It's a struggle, but it's worth it. -Lydia
hey Kya & Co, i hope you guys are well. i know you guys stopped posting here because of the incident that you also posted about, then after August it seems you guys have been completely absent from all social media. absolutely no pressure to come back and especially not under a specific timeline. i really hope you’re taking care of yourself/being taken care of and that you know that you deserve happiness, safety, patience and love. you and your system have worked so hard to get to a stable place in life and you deserve to see the rewards of that. you are strong and although you shouldn’t have to persevere through awful events, you can and you will. hope to see you whenever it is safe ❤.
She has sadly passed 😞
lol not true at all. Kya & Co posted on their patreon recently confirming they are okay. stop trolling.@@L3afeon
Speaking of hosts who got memories taken away all the time our one long time host found you back in 2017. She had been watching you and anytime you switched or talked about other personalities would gatekeeper would switch her out or take her memory away. We really thank you for being in our lives long enough to make our gatekeeper open up to her. Therapy hasn't quite helped but you have. We truly thank you and are continuing to seek new therapy as we work with next working with all our alters. While building our TH-cam and Instagram channels just like you 😊
Haven't seen an upload in a while. I really hope you are well and I hope no news is good news! Please remember how valued you are Xx
Yeah, as someone whose mental illness hit rock bottom in University, I can empathize. I may not have moved away from home, but the transition in my life was huge nonetheless, and that stress was the tipping point for several issues that to this day I am still picking through to find what fits, a full 10 years later. Going through multiple providers too has made a difference, the first time I was young and skeptic, so it didn't last, but now I am medicated and in a better state of awareness about my struggles, but of course there is always room to improve, and I hope for everyone who needs that improvement to get there
This comment meant so much to us, thank you. We have been desperate for help for awhile, but have found major comfort in ourselves. It always just takes time. A lot of it. Glad you are feeling a little better. -Lydia & Ben
@@eversystemmMy name is Lydia!
@@lydiaboll2872 Hi! Yeah Lydia's our Gatekeeper! Lovely name ☺️❤️ -Ben
Hi Kya and Co. hope all is going okay and that you are safe! Just wanted to check in and let you I wish you well! Stay strong.
hi kya! i've been a long time viewer over the years and honestly related to a lot of your content even before i was diagnosed earlier this year with DID. this video has helped me realize that after i got my diagnosis i went through heavy bouts of debilitating dissociation & amnesia for months. honestly, at the time i didn't even think much of it but this has helped me realize that was a response from my system so thank you for sharing your experiences with us. hope you and everyone else are doing well !
The makeup is awesome. Its vibrant and beautiful. The outfit, the makeup and the blanket on the chair, its surprisingly giving safe and cozy vibes.
Thank you for the amazing video again. Sending all the love and strength to everyone in the system.🖤💙
not sure if you know already, but in case you don’t, the blanket on the chair was actually sent to them by a fan!! it was quite a few years ago and i just think it’s really lovely to see it stay with them after all this time :))))
@@ajzhunt It is so lovely! I remember Kya said that they keep everything that was sent by their fans.
@@Fey_Aelin_Elentiya So sorry, Selene, I know you’re one of the lovely mods for DissociaDID (I watched the quarry stream the other day), but I didn’t recognise you when I first commented since your handle is slightly different from your username 😭 how silly of me! i was like ‘SerafinaAthena… sounds similar but not exactly SeleneAthena’ haha, i see the connection now! I hope you’re doing well! Sending the best xx /platonic ☺️
@@ajzhunt Thank you 🥺
It may be surprising but THIS was the video I needed. I have had my scores emailed back to me from Pottergate Centre years ago, a little while before the pandemic. I was so unsure of what to do after words, though the letter spelled it out I was looking too far into things and getting lost in denial. I have taken this form to mental health professionals and had positive and negative experiences. Currently on a waiting list to discuss it and my general mental health and this video has helped me significantly. You've shown me that the path does get difficult but it's still a path and takes you on a journey of personal growth and self-betterment. Thank you Kya for this video.
I've jsut realised it's been 6 months since we've last seen you! o.o I hope you're doing well and are having a good start into the new year!
I struggle with PNES and POTS and have also been diagnosed with BPD. I have had suspicions I have DID for YEARS and entering mental health facilities definitely hurt me a lot. I brought up to my psychiatrists multiple times that I suspect I have DID and have had symptoms for years, including: amnesia, missing gaps of my childhood and other years of my life, people referring to me by different names, people coming up to me and claiming we've met before (also calling me a different name). Because I was a minor at the time and my parents were abusive I've never received proper help. I hope that when I start back in therapy soon I can hopefully receive proper help and an explanation as to why I'm dealing with this. Thank you for speaking up and sharing your experiences with everyone, and this has made me feel less alone in my battle. Thank you for everything you do, and you all are very appreciated. ♥️
I feel like I can't even pay full attention bc I am absolutely mesmerized by the eye makeup. It's just so vibrant and gorgeous omg
"Its giving... yes" the most accurate description 👏
Thank you so much. I've been looking for someone to share their diagnosis story. I've been feeling pretty alone in how I got my DID diagnosis and just wanted someone else to share so I could relate. I couldn't find anything until this video. You're one of the only people I've seen (especially on the internet) who is always kind, validating, and helping people the best they can. I've seen some of the hate you are getting on the internet, but I hope you know how many people you are helping as well. Thanks DissociaDID!
Just got my first car! Celebrating with a DissociaDID video!! Y'all are slayful so I believe it is fitting!
congrats!!!
@DissociaDID thank you! I'm putting 5 metres of fairy lights in it and I feel unstoppable
@@friendly_introvert you. are a genius 🧚♀
I had huge amounts of time loss in college. I just chalked it up to being tired and overworked. Now that I know my system I know it was a protector taking over to keep us going when I was overwhelmed. I remember telling a friend that I felt like I was sleeping then would suddenly wake up to find myself in class or on a bus or at work. It was scary. Glad I can communicate with the system now.
“The road ahead will be difficult, but it's always been difficult. This is just a new type of challenge, you will be okay”. You always have the right words to calm my mind. I learn so much about DID thanks to you, but I also learn so much about coping mechanisms for my own mental issues. You have always made me feel so safe. Thank you so much, Kya.
I don’t have DID however, after watching your videos and understanding your journey throughout the years, I tried a few “tricks” that you shared in a few videos talking about the way you started communicating with your alters in order to understand their needs and find a way to coexist within the system. I don’t have alters (obviously) but I started to talk to myself more kindly, I wouldn’t dismiss the bad thoughts, instead I tried to understand them, and I just have to tell you that it helped me tremendously. It’s still a journey nonetheless, but after I started doing it my life started to change for the better in so many regards. I don’t know if you will read this but I really want to thank you. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable. I wish you a lot of happiness and peace ❤
"This is just a new type of challenge." Thank you so much for sharing your story and opening up about your journey. 💓 The path to diagnosis is rough but the relief of having answers is indescribable.
Sending lots of love and support your way. 🫶
-Demetra
Love your name, just wanted to say that. Hope you're having a good day :) -Ben & co
Thank you for the disclaimer at the start of the video. It will be very valuable to those doubting the chronology of your channel. I have been following you for many years, throughout all your “controversies”, never doubting you and always rooting for your healing. You are very authentic in the delivery of your story and have proven its legitimacy time and time again.
I also want to note that it was incredibly interesting for me to learn how the absence of your abusers escalated an identity crisis in your system. You are incredibly brave for continuing on your path and educating others.
Can you make more videos on sexual trauma? If you’re not comfortable talking about it that’s totally understandable but your intercourse after trauma video has been super helpful and we’d love to see more like it 💖💖
I'm glad it helped! We definitely can. We also have a video coming up about sexual Alters and Objectification
@@DissociaDID you know until now I did watch All your videos and it really helped my to understand a little bit of this I really appreciate that you make these videos about what you get through its really appreciate and thank you and.. I hope everyone have a great really great day I hope you all doing great.. And I'm still waiting for another unboxing video😂.. Bye... My love from maroc🇲🇦🇲🇦❤️
@@DissociaDIDoh that sounds lovely. We have a part who struggles to accept that they can have a role in relationships outside of sex
I really appreciate ur saying that it's okay to be wrong. I started watching in like 2017 I think bc I thought I might have DID (I do not) but now am a student mental health nurse and hope to specialise in dissociate disorders and working to help others who went through similar stuff, dismantle the system that works against us, and break the stigma ❤🎉
Denial is a force and without this channel it would have been a much more difficult journey for us.
We stumbled upon this channel maybe 4 - 5 years ago and we didn't suspect a thing about the fact we might have a dissociative disorder. Coming up on a year ago now, after being in college for year and a bit, our relatively newer host (not that they were aware they were newer), Max, was faced with the fact that they very likely had some sort of dissociative disorder similar to DID. We are now aware that we are likely an OSDD system. We were fully aware that DID was something that existed but the denial and the way these things functions is incredibly strong. Our story is quite different but upon a friend, who's DID system literally only just revealed to them that they were a system (we went through system discovery together, it's a bit of a long story), confronted us with the fact that we were likely also a system Max completely panicked and the denial came down hard, like a wall. It felt like a physical barrier in their brain that just said no. Denial is a strong tool. Without having this channel and learning so much about DID prior, I don't know how things would have gone. This channel greatly helped us be much more open to the idea of DID. While the denial was bad and worked its magic. We seriously had no clue but we were greatly interested in learning about DID and expanding our knowledge in mental health in general, but we ended up specifically hyperfixating on DID and often this channel in particular. This made acceptance and our journey while still hard and ongoing so much easier. It really opened up things for us and made things a less scary. This channel meant we started our journey of discovery knowing DID was a thing and well informed and it let us know that things were going to be okay and this is it's own normal and that we weren't alone. - I'm being informed by our protector Jared that this was part of the plan in a way. It seems the reason I, as the former host, was allowed to cluelessly research into DID at all and for so long was because he was allowing us to ease ourselves into awareness slowly for when we eventually found out and became aware. I didn't know that before. I'm having some emotions about the revelation. That's incredibly sweet. It makes sense now why we didn't just get pushed away from DID like some other systems.
You have no idea how grateful I am to you, Kya and the rest of DissociaDID, as well as the other DID channels and systems that we follow that helped teach us so much and broke down the stigma before it could even harm us to its full extent. You have no idea how much grief you spared us in speaking out about your own experiences and in starting this channel. You have shielded us from a lot of pain, things could have been so much harder for us. Thank you.
You'll probably never see this, it'll likely get buried in the other comments, but I am truly grateful and wanted to express that.
I agree! As a system, please listen to your 'body'. We're all in this together.
❤
As a singlet, I enjoy learning about this stuff. I don't know anyone with DID personally, but learning from you has been amazing.
I came across your interview with Anthony 2 days ago and have been binge watching your videos to learn more about DID. Thank you so much for sharing this I am forever grateful to Chole for opening this channel and sharing this is so informative. Love to all of you. I hope you all are doing great. Love from Toronto Canada.
I don’t have DID, but as a person who loves to learn, I immensely appreciate your videos 🙏
We haven't watched your videos in a while because of how triggering they tend to be for some of us (of course, it has nothing to do with you, and while we hope that you already understand this, we just want to be clear), but this title drew my interest. While we don't have a formal diagnosis, we speak with each other mostly through dreams and occasionally directly, while still being mostly amnesic at this time. Our previous host member didn't discover that we were dissociative until a few years ago, and this was through someone telling us that we showed the signs of being a survivor of organized ritual abuse. This prompt was the trigger that brought him to awareness, and from his prior research into ORA and DID, he was able to recognize the signs for himself. Through coming to accept this, several of us started coming forward, slowly at first but increasingly over time. This has caused a rapid deterioration in our cohesion and regulation to the point that we haven't been able to work a regular job for years now (which has been quite disconcerting to our previous host member given that he used to earn a six figure salary in tech), with blackouts, time loss, reports from others of our switching and the appearance of inexplicable wounds being but a few of the symptoms that we experience. Your experience is similar in certain respects to ours, and it helps us to remember that we're not "crazy". Thanks for sharing! We hope that you continue to find the help that you need in your journey of healing and finding functional wholeness.
Thank you, we wish you the same, and thank you for sharing your story!
Thank you, Kya and everyone! I am thrilled that you are once again maximizing this platform to educate the world on this highly stigmatized illness that is DID. Also, I'm really happy to see you doing and looking so well. Much love! ❤
The rawness and vulnerability of this video is immense. Thank you Kya and everyone for letting us in on such personal and private details of what must have been an absolutely terrifying time for Chloe and the entire system. You have all worked so hard and you are so brave! ❤️
You make a huge difference! Thank you and your system for all you all have done! Thank you and your system for all the knowledge 💙
hope you all are doing well, and as always i'm so proud and am always here for support. thank you for doing what you do, you're helping so many. 🤍
Thank you so much, we're so glad!
I had to rewatch and pause a bit after two minutes. I didn't realise that you all received a BPD diagnosis first. I don't know how to explain it, but I felt an emotional shift within me. I've discovered your channel in 2018 when Chole was the Host of the system. When I was in therapy I expressed how I felt very drawn to the DissociaDID channel and felt comfort within the system. Hearing you mention BPD hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't receive my BPD diagnosis until early 2020 and for a while I thought my attachment and closeness to the system was because I may have DID. Through therapy and further examination DID was ruled out and I was diagnosed with BPD. To this day I've found myself drawn to those with DID (on of my best friends of 4 years. I've shown him your channel and it has helped his system greatly), Bipolar Type 2, and BPD diagnosis. Through education and unfortunately repeated trauma I also have CPTSD (I'm working the courage to get seen by a therapist/psychiatrist due to terrible past experiences so I am not officially diagnosed) on top of being diagnosed with MDD (major depressive disorder) and GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). I am sorry for the long winded comment. Maybe I feel some sort of validation? Some more comfort knowing that I am more valid? I struggle daily and I value and cherish the safe space you've all created for me, others like me, and everyone else in between. Thank you for making me feel less alone and more valid. If you've made it this far I apologize for the terribly long comment. I just value and appreciate you all so much 😭💕
I hope y'all are doing alright, I hope this well-deserved break is giving you all what you need to heal and recover. Rest up and i hope to see a video whenever you're feeling up to it ❤
She has sadly passed 😞
@@L3afeon No they haven't? They made a post like yesterday
Always find it interesting hearing about memories being yoinked by gatekeepers. Do you know whether they use a physical action in the inner world to do this or just "will it to happen" ?
I'll have to ask Jade how it feels to her!
@@DissociaDIDthank you, I'd be very interested to know her response 😊
Yoinked is a very funny word to use, haha
Our Gatekeeper is here right now. She says that it depends on the Gatekeeper. "Sometimes it feels like I am quite literally playing tug-of-war with the Host's brain" (I tend to have a stubborn brain, I'm sorry😅) But it is not always easy. Mainly, for her at least, she wills it to happen. -Lydia & Ben
I'm so curious about this too!
I have BPD, ADHD and undiagnosed ASD (My current psychiatrist refuses to do any diagnostics because he believes in treating symptoms not worrying about what exactly is going on and he's the only one available). Hearing you talk about your journey has been exactly the motivator I needed today. Having a diagnosis of a mental health disorder where the treatment plan comes down to learning how to just deal with it better and failing over and over until you get it right can be overwhelming, exhausting, discouraging, I could go on. But the take away I got from this video was a reminder that everyone stumbles in the process of getting treatment and healing but you just have to keep putting one foot infront of another and before you know it you'll be able to look back on it and "think look how far I have come". So if Kya happens to read this, thank you for giving a total stranger the kick in the butt she needed to try harder not to self sabotage fully embracing treatment.
Since I became a teen, I’d always been searching for answers. Answers about my identity, my reality, my frustrations, my differences, etc. I didn’t know where to look or ask and would only happen upon actual answers by chance.
Although I don’t have DID, I’ve learned a lot from this channel! I feel more in touch with my own emotions and a little less frustrated. I understand a little more about dissociation, dpdr, and very infrequent amnesia that may have occurred when I was struggling a lot when grounded.
I’ve found a lot of answers no one could give me back then and feel like I’ve reclaimed experiences/identifiers I thought were lost forever. This channel is one that helped a significant amount with that, and restored a lot of patience/kindness with some things/to others. (I also suspect someone I know to have DID/OSDD, so I very much welcome any information that could help me aid them).
Thank you (all) for sharing this much.
Remember to drink water, and don’t push yourself too hard. Take little breaks even if you feel fine/better than normal (and play with your floofy cats 😊).
This was a good reminder for us as well. We have lots of floofy cats so it works out perfectly 😂 -Ben
I started watching you because of your story. I stayed because I became emotionally attached to your alters and you. Whatever you talk about, I'll be here for support.
I genuinely cannot fathom how difficult this stuff must be. With your candor, you are providing an absolutely invaluable service for so many people who would otherwise feel terrified and completely alone. I hope you are able to love and appreciate yourself as much as we all love and appreciate you.
I just want to thank the dissociadid system for being here. This channel has given me light for a long time. I originally started watching this channel during a rough time and the very beginning of my journey. I only recently have felt more acceptance towards what could be inside of me. I really appreciate this channel and this video.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Was thinking of all of you today. I am sending the best wishes and good vibes. Hoping you’re all safe and well 💗
She has sadly passed 😞
@@L3afeon 1) please don't spread misinformation or scare people like that. There are people here who genuinely care for them
2) your other comments are definitely trolling, and it's not welcome.
3) they are a system and you should use plural pronouns.
Hello, DissosociaDID, My name is Ember, and I want to say thank you. Your channel has helped me through some really tough times, and it’s helped me on my journey. I got diagnosed with DID in late September. I won’t go into any details, but I wrote down notes from your videos to help and it really did. Your channel is the reason why i actually managed to figure this out, and all of your videos have helped an unfathomable amount. Your amazing work is so inspiring, and I am so, so proud of you. It means the world from what you are doing on this channel, wether it’s having serious talks about this disorder or doing entertaining streams, you manage so well and I’m pleased to say you are my favourite person in TH-cam. Have a great day, and once again, Thank you.
Kya, I never knew you had non epileptic seizures but after watching this video I feel more seen. I’ve never been able to relate to you in anyway just an active listener and support but I have also been diagnosed with NES and hearing someone else speak so clearly about it and how it is a trauma response is validating ❤❤❤ thank you for sharing your experience
I should add that I’m only commenting this because so many people don’t know it exists or they think it’s fake and to hear someone educating everyone makes me very happy❤
hiya, thank you so much for these videos i am so grateful for them, im currently researching DID (and have been for the past 5 years), i feel as if i have DID, im the host of our system (the flower system), belle, the reason i feel i have this is because 5 years ago, nearly 6, i met evelyn, who at the time was our mask, and is now our protector. your videos have helped us so much, it’s a nice way to research. thank you so much!
I have followed you from 2018. I do not have DID, however I am very proud of how far you've come with the channel! I definitely didn't keep track of all the changes for some time, but I loved any and all versions of your system. I can see how much you've grown, how much experience and control you've gained and how much more confident you are with yourselves! Thank you Kya for another amazing video, I will come back for more
In less than a week I will officially have my doctorate in clinical psychology. I want to say thank you for sharing your experiences to help those of us working in the field better understand how to provide the best care.
i don't have DID but i do have seizures and i'm so sorry you guys have to suffer through seizures (as well). they're f-cking terrifying and are definitely a major component of my severe anxiety. proud of you guys opening up about this, i can't even imagine telling thousands -maybe more than a million- people about having seizures, despite knowing it isn't my fault and that i can't help it😅 hope you guys are doing well today, sending love
Thank you for telling a bit of your story and struggles. -Lydia
I have seizures and I feel you with the anxiety. The first thing I do when I have full awareness is see if I have my clothes on and where I am. Oh yea, and try not to vomit because vertigo (I always seem to sit up too fast.)
Hi Kya&Co! Super early! I love your videos and everything that you stand for. Never forget that you are stronger than any obstacle you'll ever encounter in your lives, as you've proven yourselves time and time again.
Thank you so much!!
Hey DissociaDID, just a quick message of love and support making sure y'all are good cuz it's been a while since your last post- hope you're all okay!
Just remember, everyone here, that diagnosis and having access to help are a privalege and are so very hard to get if you don't have the recources. What is most important is you know your truth, and I hope anyone here who is struggling with resources that you will get what you need one day. You WILL get there, even if it takes awhile. It's okay to struggle and be a bit 'behind'. You will be okay. All our love. -Ever System
(PS Thank you for sharing your story, Kya & co. You didn't have to and it was an honor to hear it.)
I have started watching you off and on ever since the Anthony Padilla video, and until you shared your story just now, it never fully hit me how absolutely terrifying this disorder must be, especially when someone doesn’t know they have it. I truly appreciate your vulnerability, and hope that you guys find some kind of peace and stability in your lives, however that might be. ♥️✨✨
Thank you so much for teaching us about DID it helps lodes of people who what to learn about this, 6 year's ago i had no idea what DID even was but it's all thanks to you guys, and it's all worth it, you guys are amazing, keep doing what you're doing because everyday you inspire some many people, and your amazing and great and powerful, thank you for making this channel.❤❤❤❤
We had similar experiences with diagnosis, here in the UK as well, it took years of being in and out of NHS therapy and private therapy before we got our diagnosis ( our body was in its early 20's and now its 27. Thank you for sharing your experiences , it really has helped us feel more at ease with having DID but nothings ever easy with DID. Sending lots of love your way
That bit where you said being diagnosed or going through a new mental health situation doesnt have to be the end of the world and how it's just a new challenge really resonated a lot with me :(
It's so scary accepting and dealing with trauma after years of repressing, after all, but we gotta fight back!! ❤️🩹💪
Wow.. thank you so much for making this video and being so open! We have been suspecting having a dissociative disorder ourselves and we always felt some sort of shame in relating while not being diagnosed by a professional and your message at the end really helped! We have also been struggling with severe seizures for over three years now and professionals found nothing and after doing our research we think it might be NES. Thanks for bringing this to our awareness and making amazing videos like this one! Keep going and we support you. So much love, Tyler and Raven
I hope you all are doing well. 🥺 Always thinking of you and sending love and support. Remember that you absolutely can get through anything.. life has been cruel and unkind but your life needs to be lived. Read that again, each of you. Your lives need to be lived. Thank you for doing so.❤️
That makeup is BEAUTIFUL 😍 Thank you for being so open and honest with your diagnosis. You are so strong, and I'm so proud of how much you've grown and healed and are continuing to grow and heal. Much love ❤
Hearing you speak about what you went through, I can't help but feel renewed admiration for the energy you put into getting better and informing the world about DID. You seem to have come so far and have overcome so much, and you deploy such strength and skill to ensure your well-being and that of others, it is truly commendable.
I myself just started the process of better understanding my cognitive dysfunctioning and am seeking help and a potential diagnosis. It's scary, I am conflicted between feeling undeserving of help and feeling like an impostor who made it all up, I'm scared of receiving a diagnosis, but also of not getting the diagnosis I think would help me. But in the end, I won't get better if I don't start seeking answers.
have been subbed for a couple of years now and i still get excited when you upload another video 😊 has helped me SO much with how to handle my DID friend and help her feel more safe and secure. your channel is such a blessing!! xx
You guys have made so much progress, it still baffles me with each new video you post. Sometimes it's nice to be reminded of that, especially when it's hard to see your own progress. Thank you all for the education you provide and transparency you share with your own experiences... I came across this channel before I was diagnosed with C-PTSD, and I want to let you all know how much support your own stories have given me. Covering comorbid disorders and other mental health issues outside of DID has been especially helpful, and I hope that all of you are proud of the safe online community you have created for many people.
Sending positive thoughts your way! Hope you're healing and doing well and if not, I hope things get better soon. ♥️ I miss seeing you online but respect you and your time offline!! Hope all is well!!
I cant imagine how TERRIFYING it might have been to see that video, or seeing that message on that mirror that you didn’t write, seeing you so positive and healed now gives me hope for myself and that I will also find my way and eventually heal as well. Thank you for everything that y’all do :)
Hope you all are doing okay. We miss you AND support you in taking time off to take care of yourself. Sending hugs!
your channel make me feel safe, I thought I had did when I was a teenager and found out I was experiencing depersonalization, it's nice to know that it's okay to be wrong about it
I really hope you all are ok and safe. Miss you all. Sending you light and love.
What a story. I have so much respect for you all. I wish every single one of you all the best for the future! Greetings from the Netherlands!
Hello, yesterday I waned to message out about something I was experiencing but today I've found something that helps me stay connected to my body. I tried EMDR therapy myself, by holding a finger in front of my face while on video. I focused on one point, that I marked with a highlighter, while playing some songs I related to quite a bit.
There were times I dissociated at first but as I continued, while listening to the music lyrics I found myself recovering some emotions, memories, and a state of mind I had from years ago when I was four. I have been through a lot but it was nice to find the core of my emotions and feelings after years of masking it.
I had been quite curious about this, and really appreciate your sharing. Hope y’all are doing well and donating to the legal fund because that dude SUCKS and I hope you beat him down every time!
Thank you!
DID is such an incredibly complex thing! the brain is scarily amazing at keeping information from itself, and its so very interesting to be able to hear your stories and learn how different people live life! I wish kya & co all the best
Thank you. After coming in contact with your videos I was first experiencing excitement at having found recognition of my condition and then my whole system went haywire and I lost a day.
Thank you for letting us know we are not alone.
this helped us feel so valid! we figured it out our selves and our old therapist said we didn't have it (we didn't like her and she didn't know anything about us and old us the disorder was rare and she didn't even like talk to us about it, it was just shutting us down and not even listening to us ☹️) anyways, the memories getting shuffled around and gatekeepers picking and choosing what memories you have and when made us feel so valid :) thank you! - Iris/Gray
Thank you for feeling whatever feeling made you think to share this with others. We, as your audience, are not owed anything more than what you want to share, and I feel very grateful to know more because I never know when something from your content may resonate with myself or friends. You are remarkably strong just for trying to get through every day and trying to heal, let alone for sharing as much as you do.
Oh my God...the bit w/ The Little & her childhood setting made me SO sad. Damn dude, what a heavy reminder why you don't talk about your child alters.
Regardless, thank you for making this. Your story deserves to be told, and I thank you for telling it. ❤
we had a somewhat similar discovery process where once we moved out of the region we grew up in and to a new bigger city our system just started being so much more obvious. even the amnesia and memory loss id written off for years couldn’t be done anymore
we were in college for psychology and despite this, pre-system discovery, DID was the one diagnosis we were like “nope i can’t be that. i would know.” we were more comfortable with thinking we had psychosis, bpd, etc (which we do on top of DID). our therapist who diagnosed us was like “well it’s actually pretty telling that you were so fascinated with DID (i talked about watching your videos lol) and knew so much about it. but that was the one diagnosis you couldn’t even entertain the idea of having”
we know it was an alter in our system who was trying very hard to keep our system away from the rest of us. but also didn’t want to completely blindside us when we would inevitably find out. (from what i’ve heard. when they found out what we were experiencing was DID when we were like 11/12 from reading psych books, they basically devoted a lot of time into making sure we could learn about it but never apply it to our life)
this was a really great video! thanks for sharing yalls experience -gray
Such openness, even just from your logical non-emotional state is bold. We hope it didn't take too much energy. You haven't been posting. Is all well with you? We've been lovingly concerned.
I just looked you up again because I haven't seen content in awhile. I doubt you'll see this but I want you to know you've made a difference in my life. You've helped me and those who care for me understand so much and love me better. You are important you are worthy you are wonderful and I hope you are well or on your way to being